Affirmations for Realists

...also random facts and sage advice...

[schalphador]

I am not good with computer.

schalphador

[schalphador]

I was going to attend the meeting, but I didn’t want to. #radicalhonesty

schalphador

[schalphador]

'I don't give a shit,' can sometimes be a perfectly acceptable response.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Brain teaser! You can't prove something isn't with 100% certainty. Think of 3 things you can't prove aren't. I'll start with my sanity.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Never give your password out to anyone you don't want to--even your spouse.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Atoms don't just float in space. They're big fuzzy balls that touch each other.

schalphador's chemistry professor

[schalphador]

Don't apologize for being yourself. Unless 'yourself' is a fucking douchebag.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Loving yourself is too abstract--how about, for today, I will give myself one honest compliment. 'You really fucked up that conversation nicely--well done, self!'

schalphador

[schalphador]

If a lover makes you question your sanity, your memory of events past, your perception of reality, or tells you that you are “too sensitive,” then you need a new lover. Or perhaps you should just stop having delusions that you’re fucking the asylum’s psychiatrist. Either way, gaslighting is abuse.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Fun fact: someday, nobody will care that you lived.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Today I promise to nerd harder.

schalphador

[schalphador]

Anecdotal evidence presented as fact: anecdata!

schalphador

[schalphador]

If someone asks if they can take a bite of your sandwich, it's ok to say, 'No, piss off.'

schalphador

[schalphador]

Just as good coming up as going down: vommunition

schalphador

[schalphador]

Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps it's pica?

schalphador

[schalphador]

Never give a brand new romantic interest money; and, if they ask for any, promptly end the relationship. They are not 'just down on their luck.' They are predators.

schalphador

[schalphador]

'I don't rightly know, but let me pull some shit out of my ass and present it as fact anyway,' said the narcissistic-know-it-all.

schalphador