2 Weeks In & Time for An Update
First things first…I give myself permission for this post to be imperfect, lacking, strange, unusual, odd, or otherwise dissatisfying!
I’ve been putting this post off for a while, mostly because of my utter fear of how this message will be received. And also my fear of not being able to deliver the message the way I envision it within my own mind. But I feel as though I’m going to explode if I don’t write about it in some fashion, so here it goes!
You are most likely familiar with the old saying “You are what you eat.” Well, I’ve recently taken that very message to heart, quite seriously, and elevated it. Let me explain.
I am an empath. It’s taken me nearly my entire life to recognize this quality within myself, but it explains so much. It is second nature for me to be able to feel what another person is feeling and to imagine myself in their shoes. I take these feelings to heart, whether I want to or not. Often these feelings and realizations stay with me for my entire life. It is so deeply a part of me that I am often embarrassed. For example, I cry all the time. Sometimes out of happiness, sometimes out of frustration, and sometimes just because I am completely overwhelmed by intangible emotions that I really can’t identify or explain. It can happen while talking to a friend, while watching a movie, or in everyday life moments that most people find mundane but that for some reason I deeply connect with.
I’ve spent most of my life running from these emotions and connections and trying to shut them down. The more I tune in with them, the more I feel.
But now that I’ve been learning a little more about what it truly means to be an empath, I have realized that it’s okay! Not everyone has this gift or understands what it means. And that too, is okay. I can’t spend any more time running from it. All I can do is better understand it and learn how to use it as a tool and a gift, instead of fearing it and trying to shut it down. I am learning how to channel it, how to de-charge (for lack of a better term), how to channel it and unplug from it for brief moments and then how to plug back in, in a healthy way. (More on this topic to come.)
So why am I telling you all of this? Well the whole point behind Fit Self Love is to document my own journey of self discovery and to give others the inspiration, hope, and courage to find themselves and begin or resume or deepen their own journeys. That means you! Yes, you, reading this right now!!!
After realizing that I am an empath I realized that I really needed to become vegan. I was vegetarian for many years until after my daughter was born. For a brief time I began eating meat again and then started phasing it back out after a few months. I wanted to become full vegetarian again, but I felt guilty. I felt that choosing a vegetarian lifestyle for myself made everything more difficult for those around me.
Think holiday dinners, family get togethers, etc. If I was vegetarian, people felt obligated to go out of their way for me to make sure I had something to eat. And that made me feel like such an imposition. So I continued eating meat. Very rarely, but it was still a part of my diet. And every time I had to mentally disconnect as much as I could from what was on my plate.
About a year later I decided to go vegan for 30 days as a challenge. I picked a time of the year when I knew we wouldn’t be seeing family or be doing too many dinners and get-togethers with friends outside of our own home. I knew if I went out to eat it would be easy to modify the options. I was happy.
The 30 day challenge was not the first attempt I’d ever made to be vegan. I’ve gone back and forth from vegetarian to vegan back to vegetarian and even to light meat eater many times. It’s a viscous cycle. One that I’ve never enjoyed. One that I felt obligated to entertain because it was somehow easier on everyone else.
Fast forward to present day. I was struggling. I felt like I was drowning. I detested eating meat and even other animals products. I needed a break; a cleanse so to speak - a cleanse of the mind, body, and soul. So, I decided “It’s time for another 3 week vegan challenge!” People were supportive. They’d seen me do this before. They knew it was only temporary. I justified my actions by telling myself, “it’s only temporary. It won’t be an inconvenience to anyone.”
Until something about this challenge struck a chord within me, that so deeply resonated with my entire being that I could not deny it. I felt a tremendous weight had been lifted. And that’s when I realized it.
What if being an empath affects more than just feeling others emotions. What if I feel the emotions of my food?
STOP. Pump the brakes! That’s crazy. CRAZY. Right?
If we are what we eat, then that means that the food we eat has a direct effect on us. That means the chemicals, hormones, and ingredients we are using to fuel our bodies will have a reaction of some sort. Just as those with food allergies have to avoid their allergens, so should empaths avoid food that can target us in negative ways. And so should everyone with an interest in where their food comes from.
At first I was afraid to admit this change. But there it was. After about 2 days of a 100% Vegan diet I felt better. After about a week, I felt completely hooked.
My stress and anxiety were greatly diminished. My chronic depression significantly lightened! I still have dark thoughts, but I found I could more easily push them away. My debilitating migraines slowed to a dull thud. Could all of this be from a vegan diet?
Somewhat apprehensively and reluctantly, I took these thoughts and ideas to my safe place: My Husband.
He emphatically greeted my ideas with a resounding “Yes!” He supported my theories and added his own observations about my mood and increase in energy. He told me “If you want to be vegan, do it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it or says. Do this for you.”
I was and I am completely hooked. I can no longer deny myself the lifestyle I so desperately crave. I can no longer support the meat, dairy, or egg industry. If you aren’t aware of why that is, I encourage you to do your own research. That topic is one for another day. However I will leave you with one last experience and an article to check out if you so desire.
After being so warmly received by my other half, I took this discussion to a close friend. She also agreed with me and shared that some of her other friends have expressed similar ideas and concerns. And she shared this article with me: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/08/how-animal-welfare-leads-to-better-meat-a-lesson-from-spain/244127
In this article from August of 2011 is the following quote:
“The Journal of Animal Science and researchers at the University of Milan’s Faculty of Veterinary Medicine recently confirmed that fear experienced during slaughter significantly elevates meat’s levels of stress hormones - adrenaline, cortisol, and other steroids. Studies on human consumption of artificial growth hormones, which are believed by many to affect our reproductive systems and other bodily processes, have already resulted in policy changes in many countries, including those that make up the E.U. Attention is now turning to these naturally occurring fear-induced hormones as scientists worry that their consumption causes similar problems.” - https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/08/how-animal-welfare-leads-to-better-meat-a-lesson-from-spain/244127
I know for a fact that by eating animals and animal by products I was feeling increased levels of fear, pain, depression, anxiety and stress. Not only was I able to identify this within myself, but I was able to later learn that others have identified these traits as well, and research is ongoing to support this!
That being said, I will no longer be doing a “3 Week Vegan Challenge”. I am a Vegan for life.