🖤.

fc augsburg, du bist mein verein, ohne dich kann ich nicht glücklich sein

[willgrahamscock]

reading problematic fanfiction but shaking my head so random tumblr user who thinks thought crimes are real knows I don't condone it in real life

[willgrahamscock]

ignore my boaner 👍

[willgrahamscock]

fictional characters can't consent because they aren't real.. but YOU can consent to reading heavy themes, and you can withdraw consent by clicking the back button and stopping any time, it is your choice to read stories that include or exclude consent 👍

[willgrahamscock]

I love when puritans are so far up their ass they circle back to being more perverted than the original concept

[thememedaddy]

[chancellor-ake]

I could never wear any of those dumb “I hope both teams have fun” shirts because no I hope my team wins by 30 and the other team explodes on the field

[loulooser]

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

[spinostarz]

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

[loulooser]

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

[jarsjam]

THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[lesbianalicent]

[irideer]

let em keep thinking we’re dead

[charlesoberonn]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

[charlesoberonn]

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

[lilyyy63]

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however...

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

[charlesoberonn]

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

[clumsysprings]

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don't know if it'd be spaghetti still

[charlesoberonn]

Something like this?

[charlesoberonn]

But in a little over 4 months it's gonna be m

[charlesoberonn]

This post gains more and more notes as we approach the day

[fuckyeahfcaugsburg]

[televisionenjoyer]

A committed rpf girlie will always know more about a sport than the man who has watched it for years

[bladeweave]

"they should be in a healthy relationship with good communication" they should be obsessive freaks who stalk each other and have zero boundaries

[shigure]

i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you

[loveridden1999]

you care about a celebrity's personal life because you think they're your best friend. i care about a celebrity's personal life because i think he's gay & fucking his coworker. we are not the same

[peach-pot]

hearing about sex as a kid is like “you’re 100% going to do this one day” and then you grow up and find out sex isn’t real and your parents just lied about it like santa clause

[cuteautumn]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[vxpo]

Tomorrow is March 28th

[yeahishipitbitch]

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[solitairians]

listening to an album you used to love but overplayed for yourself after a really long time after the overplayedness has worn off and it sounds like it's supposed to again is the closest to being in heaven you can get during your mortal life i think

[mistressaccost]

i don’t even rpf i just understand