School Can Suck My Dick

Creative and innovative ways to get out of school

[school-is-no]

Nope #49

Eat 420 Red Lobster biscuits and slip into a coma.

[school-is-no]

Nope #48

Drench yourself in fake blood and run into the school screaming. Run frantically, colliding with as many walls as possible as well as your classmates, smearing blood everywhere. When caught yell 'THE ANI-CHRIST HAS AWOKEN!' and pass out.

[school-is-no]

Nope #47

Carrie it! Dump a gigantic bucket with pigs blood (add some little rocks in there for good measure) on the principal of the school. Make sure they notice you, then book it.

[school-is-no]

Nope #46

Tell you parents that there is no school today. Call yourself out of school pretending to be your parent. Have a photo shoot for a plush gorilla named Bruno Mars. 

[school-is-no]

Nope #45

Plant some coke and pot in all of the lockers of the people you despise. Laugh as their life crumbles before you. 

[school-is-no]

Nope #44

Set yourself aflame. They won't let you in the building if you are a fire hazard

[school-is-no]

we're the mods of school-is-no and we're both home sick today! have a selfie

#friendship 

[school-is-no]

Nope #43

Mail yourself to Australia and live out the rest of your days in a kangaroos pouch.

[school-is-no]

Nope #42

die. It's the meaning of life.

[school-is-no]

Nope #41

Go on the morning announcements. When they usher you to speak pull out a beaker of something and pour a base, that will react violently with it, into the other beaker while screaming "D-D-D-D-D-DROP THE BASE!!!" 

[school-is-no]

Nope #40

Rise to power over the school by becoming the alpha. Murder everyone who has the same name as you. Establish a social hierarchy and starting from the bottom of the pyramid, kill off people until there is no one left but you. Refuse to negotiate with the popo.

[school-is-no]

Nope #39

Put asbestos in all of the air ducts of the school.

[school-is-no]

Nope #38

Make some fake blood with cornstarch and cherry concentrate. Drench yourself. Have some friends, who also don't give a fuck, chase you. While they do the thing where you put your legs through the sleeves of a hoodie. SCREAM IN TERROR AND RUN LIKE THE WIND!

[school-is-no]

Nope #37

Heat up a shit ton of Lithium in one of the chemistry labs. Causing violent explosions. Make it react with water and strong oxidants for the full effect and school closing.

[school-is-no]

Nope #36

Bring a 1980's boom box with all the classic hits such as Stupid Hoe, You're a Jerk, and everyones favourite Rack City. Turn that shit up all the way. Acquire roman candles. Light every single one, that you may or may not have illegally transported, in the common area of your school.

[school-is-no]

Nope #35

Release millions of termites

[school-is-no]

Nope #34

Quick sand the entire school. Top to bottom