Science Professor Quotes

The crazy things science professors say. Browse by Subject: Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry Computer Science Engineering Geology Mathematics Physics Thermodynamics Jokes Puns

[scienceprofessorquotes]

There is an experiment we can do to determine which of you have dominant alleles, but it takes nine months and I would be fired for even suggesting it.

Molecular Biology professor

[mathprofessorquotes]

Everything in math is made up.

Probability Professor (via mathprofessorquotes)

[mathprofessorquotes]

Please note, this exclamation mark is not a factorial. It’s just this result is… WOW! It’s exciting!

Real Analysis professor (via mathprofessorquotes)

[mathprofessorquotes]

The goal of mathematics is to do as little as possible.

Algebra professor (via mathprofessorquotes)

[scienceprofessorquotes]

Sperm are always happy. They are happy bois

-bio teacher while drawing a sperm

[scienceprofessorquotes]

You are what good sex looks like. It’s exciting!!

Genetics professor

[scienceprofessorquotes]

.. this type of work is called shaft work, and I don’t mean what will happen to you during next week’s midterm.

Thermo Prof explaining different kinds of work

[scienceprofessorquotes]

As physicists, we are born to suffer.

Theoretical Physics professor before beginning a long calculation

[scienceprofessorquotes]

What are we doing if we aren’t doing science? Political Science. And what is political science? Pseudoscience.

Environmental Health Sciences Professor

[scienceprofessorquotes]

“In the classroom I will never ever talk about politics, religion… or organic chemistry!”

Inorganic Chemistry Professor

[mathprofessorquotes]

“Wait, what’s this trig identity, again? I don’t have to remember this stuff, you all do.”

— Calculus professor

[compoundchem]

Day 2 of #ChemAdvent features a #GardenIndicator! Poinsettia plants are commonly sold at this time of year and make for a great festive pH indicator. More on how to make an indicator from them here: https://ift.tt/39BljDm https://ift.tt/3g2eSe4

[compoundchem]

Day 3 of #ChemAdvent comes with a look at the spice chemistry that gives mulled wine its flavour!🍷 There’s a more detailed breakdown here: https://ift.tt/2QZXMU1 https://ift.tt/3g4Wi4G

[compoundchem]

#ChemAdvent Day 4: Kissing under the mistletoe: 👍🏻 Eating the mistletoe: 👎🏻 https://ift.tt/36FWSCY

[compoundchem]

It’s day 5 of #ChemAdvent – here’s why peppermint candy canes make your mouth feel cold! bit.ly/chemadvent2020 https://ift.tt/2JM6bZ7

[compoundchem]

#ChemAdvent day 6 looks at the chemistry that happens when you bake gingerbread! bit.ly/chemadvent2020 https://ift.tt/3qxM3uy

[compoundchem]

Day 7 of #ChemAdvent looks at Brussels sprouts, and how if you’re not a fan of them you might have a genetic excuse! More detail here: https://ift.tt/33R42CN https://ift.tt/33RQ0R5