scorpius malfoy

what a strange being you are, god knows where i would be if you hadn'tfound me, sitting all alone in the DARK. a dumb screenshot of youth !! watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean on a superglued human of PROOF. what the hell would i be, without you? ( twenty one yr old, bisexual, junior with a major in herbology & minor in history of magic. )

[scorpiontheking]

zachmilkovich:

Zach intended on staying home today. All of his friends always wanted to spend time with him and he always liked to go out but he liked staying in, too. Sadly, of course, he chose to stay in when Eli had to go to uni and Zach missed him embarrassingly a lot when he did. He took a little break from all of the treatments, mostly because the healers recommended it since it took a toll on him every week, and even after the treatment, too. Zach decided it was okay. He was rather happy anyway. He was playing with Emilia and Junior when he heard someone call his name outside of the door. Zach frowned, not recognizing the voice whatsoever, and he jumped a little at the knocks. Junior barked and Emilia rolled onto her back. Zach decided to throw caution to the wind and got up, opening the door and seeing… yes, someone he did not recognize whatsoever. He stared blankly at the blond male who smiled like a radiant sun, but it last for only a moment. And then, he was crying. Zach’s eyes widened, as he didn’t know what to do or what he had done to cause this person such unhappiness. “I—sorry?” He offered, furrowing his brows. It seemed a lot of people needed him for a lot of reasons—usually to help give them advice and point them in the right direction, and Zach hadn’t been able to do that as of late for obvious reasons. “Erm… do… do you want… to come in and tell me who you are? Since… you know me… and stuff.”

no, he never meant to be THIS melodramatic but he was breaking apart more and more each day. he escaped for a couple of months but he was back, but nothing had changed. still no one knew and it’s not as if his fucking professor was going anywhere... so everything felt the same but he felt more trapped than ever. seeing zach would be an escape but not even zach was here and in this state.. scorpius didn’t even want to talk to him. he just didn’t want to stand here with zach and tell him about the wonderful boy he used to be, he didn’t want to cry about his problems because zach didn’t care and just... ‘i’m sorry, oh goodness, i’m sorry.’ he frowned, shaking his head as he backed up to the wall. ‘i-i’m scorpius malfoy. i wasn’t always a terrible friend. i gave you that apartment.. and my virginity... and i love you. not like that. like a brother... and you don’t remember me. that’s... all.’ 

[scorpiontheking]

pottercommaalbus:

Al honestly had had a pretty lame holiday. Scorpius, his very best friend in the entire world… he just disappeared. It seriously had made him so depressed—more than usual—and he ended up not even staying in their dorm anymore because he couldn’t stand being so alone in it. It meant nothing if Scorp wasn’t there. So, he’d gone home and James was home a lot too because of… Teddy and stuff. And of course, Al had to try to fix this Teddy issue because he cared about James’ wellbeing. He was a self-destructive prick and knew it, so naturally Al was just going to shoot that shit down whenever he could. School had become increasingly dull as well—his best friend wasn’t around, what’d he expect?—and that was why he was so fucking caught off guard one day when he felt a shoulder tap from Scorpius himself. He turned around, his smile fading so fast it might as well have been smacked off his face. “’Hi Albs’? That’s funny. Literally that’s… all you’re gonna say? After months? And you say ‘hi Albs’?” He shook his head and started down the hall, quietly fuming over Scorpius showing his face like that after… just not being here. Just being gone. He was so livid but it was quiet, because Al wasn’t the type to get all yell-y and dramatic. No, Al honestly kept it inside and clenched his jaw and was passive aggressive and would probably bite back with icy words but that’s it. Not to mention that there was a heavy feeling in his chest that might resemble some type of heartache but Al was… just gonna ignore that, yeah. Like always.

‘hello ALBUS?’ scorpius didn’t know what the fuck to say, honestly! he didn’t plan this out, which was stupid, he didn’t think twice about leaving but coming back was way worse than leaving because just about everyone was angry as fuck at him. including albus, so maybe he couldn’t say hi albs and walk back into his life, but damn it, of course he had to try. ‘i’m going to say more just-- give me a chance.’ he snapped his lips back shut and simply bore his gaze down at the boy before sighing softly. ‘don’t do that thing where you keep it hidden, alby. just snap, punch me, hex me, you know you want to. it’d make me feel a lot better if you just got it over with, honestly. because... i walked out on you, and everyone else. just... walked right out the door and didn’t look twice because.. i’m a coward and a child and fucking immature and i... got lost and misdirected and i didn’t know what to do. so, i left. i’m sorry.’

[scorpiontheking]

hnrynchls:

Henry looked up from his copy of Healing Spells for Professionals, looking absolutely unamused at the blond’s dramatics. “Scorp, this is not a sweatshop, I need a lot of time to think, design and make them. If you want something quickly but unoriginal and bad quality, go to fucking Primark,” he grumbled and with a wave of his wand summoned the clothing rack. “The first five hangers is what I’ve made so far for you, please ignore the dick scarf, it’s only half-finished and it’s for Zach, not you,” he said, putting the book down. “I think I’ll be alright, I mean, Professor Carrow is such a daddy, isn’t he?” he retorted with a small smirk. “I’d be more worried about you – are you sure Teddy would be calling you daddy? I don’t think so.” 

‘i could pay you if money is what you’re after...’ scorpius gave the other a quick wink before clapping his hands together to go look at the clothing rack henry summoned. ‘primark isn’t quality, it’s quantity, hen. that’s what we always say. i just think you need to be reminded of what’s important and it’s OBVIOUSLY me. i’m important, more important than--’ he lifted up henry’s book to read the title as he furrowed his brows, ‘--HEALING SPELLS FOR PROFESSIONALS. i’m more important than healing spells for professionals.’ even as henry said to ignore the dick scarf, scorp did anything but and put the half finished scarf around his neck before pretending to gag on it. ‘henryyyyyy, i want it. give it to me not zach!’ he whined before trying on the sweaters henry had made for scorpius and putting the dick scarf away. ‘DON’T talk about carrow like that, ew! that’s my god-daddy, henry. and technically, teddy and i aren’t even that related so... kidding! james is his daddy, even when they fight. it’s james and teddy, not me and teddy.’

[scorpiontheking]

{ @pottercommaalbus }

scorpius was a pretty lousy person before he disappeared. he hadn’t spoken to anyone properly in months, not after the breakup with fred. after fred he just felt alone, even if he was constantly surrounded by friends and having to suffer through another year and a half of university to not know what he wanted to do after? that sounded horrendous. so he left, didn’t bother coming back after christmas break... which was an incredibly shitty thing for him to do but every malfoy needed to fall off the grid to be himself again. he didn’t tell anyone either, responded to texts but barely at that. he spent two months in paris and couldn’t even tell you what he’d done but he came back to school, asked if he could go back to classes and they agreed to let him come as long as he caught himself up on classwork and that was that. back to the grind! and he still didn’t feel like he belonged here at all! but he did incredibly miss his friends, missed albus and zach and oliver but two out of three he’d already managed to talk to and now there was just albus. and he was the most nervous to see albus, because he didn’t know what to expect. after spotting him in the corridors and following him around because he didn’t know what to say, scorpius finally went up to tap him in the shoulder. ‘hi albs.’

[scorpiontheking]

{ @hnrynchls }

‘hen! summer is fast approaching and i still don’t have any knit wear i could wear in the summer!’ scorpius whined as he always did, wearing a giant frown on his face as he approached the smaller boy by nudging him on the shoulder. ‘you said you could do it! did you lie? can you not do it? because i can go find another knitter that can and you’ll be left without a daddy and who knows what will become of you then!’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

[scorpiontheking]

( olivcrdurslcy. )

Everything Scorpius was saying –well, almost everything– was everything he’d wanted to hear, the exact things his fourteen year old self had only dreamt of. But things were so different now. Mostly in a good way. His life was less hectic, his head wasn’t as much of a jumbled mess, things were good. But… “I…I’m…scared.” Just admitting that much was taxing, his hands tightening in Scorp’s own for a moment. “I don’t want to fuck this up, Scorp. You’re one of the most important people in my life, and I can’t..I don’t…I want this –us, I do, but.” But he wasn’t good enough. He was better now but he still wasn’t good. Scorpius would get tired of him, for sure. Being friends was one thing, but dating. Merlin, it was everything he wanted but now that it could be his he found himself terrified. “I’m…afraid I’ll be too much. I can’t help it, but I just am. You don’t deserve to put up with that, I mean it. You don’t. You…you could do better. I-I love you. And screwing this up, screwing us up, it’s the last thing I’d ever want to do. I…do want this, but if…if we go for this, we can’t just. Go all in. Maybe if we just…take this slow? It might…it might be better.” he rambled through his own insecurities, probably answering his own questions and fears, not letting go of Scorpius’s hands out of need for some sort of reassurance that this, the rambling and the nerves and the fear of ruining this because that was just what he did, was okay. Scorpius had always been there to listen, when Ollie had actually gone to him, and didn’t make his fears sound stupid, like other people did. Scorpius made him feel safe, cared about. For all his fears, even he could admit that much, could admit just how important Scorp was to him.

scorpius was incredibly rash person, did everything in seconds and honestly needed to stop and think about things... but he didn’t. THANKFULLY, oliver was being sensible about this and even if at first scorpius didn’t understand, as ollie spoke on he did understand. he was scared too, terrified of ruining what they had but he also just refused to let that be a possibility in his mind. ‘so am i, ol,’ he admitted, pulling oliver’s hand up to kiss it lightly. of course his fears were valid, even if scorpius couldn’t possibly see how he was too good for ollie, he did understand that everyone saw things differently and it was valid. ‘ollie, i love you too. i understand that we both look at you in very different eyes but here’s what i think of you. you’re the person who’s stood by me through everything and you’ve loved me endlessly. you’ve been there everytime i fall, every triumph i have is something i want to share with you. it’s not about if there’s someone out there who’s maybe easier to be with, because i don’t care. we get through the hard times and the rest of life will be smooth sailing. i don’t want anyone else, i want you. i don’t need us to move fast, i don’t even think i’m ready to think about the future. we should move slow, as slow as we need to. we focus on the present and worry about the future later.’ scorpius leaned in to kiss the others cheek very softly, squeezing his hand once more. ‘we don’t need to put labels on anything until we’re ready, we just do what we do. we share our hearts and our thoughts, that’s all i need right now. i just need my ollie back.’

[scorpiontheking]

( @zachmilkovich​. )

with the oliver thing more or less sorted out, scorpius had to move on and see his other friends. had been searching for zach around school but maybe his schedule got changed around or he was working more? scorpius had already decided to go visit him after dealing with what would happen of missing a couple months of the semester. if he took summer courses, he’d only be able to catch up but he didn’t want to take summer courses so that would just be something he’d think on. zach could probably help with the decision, after scorpius apologised immensely because zach was sometimes very unforgiving but it was them, they’d be fine. scorpius did have an awful gut feeling that something was going to be wrong. last he’d spoken to zach, him and eli weren’t doing well? maybe that was it. he hoped they were fine now. he apparated to the inside of zach’s building, deciding it was better to knock rather than appear uninvited in his flat. ‘zachyyyyyyyyyy!’ he called at the door as he knocked annoyingly and repeatedly, his bright smile and happy demeanor instantly falling as zach finally did open the door. because... on first glance, he instantly felt shit. these eyes weren’t new to scorpius, he fell in love with these eyes and right now they didn’t know him. ‘no... no...’ he shook his head in disbelief, feeling the tears already pool under his eyes as he looked up and pressed his palms into his eyes to calm them down. ‘i’m - fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! you’re gone... i need you so much and you’re gone. where are you, zach? what happened?’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

[scorpiontheking]

( olivcrdurslcy. )

He’d had his reasons for not telling him. In the beginning, at least. He’d been in no shape, mentally, for an actual relationship, anything beyond casual hook ups that he still sometimes got too attached to, like some sort of idiot. He couldn’t have risked ruining everything. After that, when things were better, he’d just been stuck in his ways. How do you tell your best friend you’ve been in love with them for years? “I…I told myself it was better that I didn’t. You want to talk screwed up, I’m the fucking poster boy. I’m already insufferable as a friend, but anything more than that…I told myself you didn’t deserve to put up with that. You don’t deserve that.” He didn’t know whether the idea that they could have had…something, if he’d just said something, was terrifying or a better sort of shocking. It was all a jumble of emotions he couldn’t make heads or tails of, and it just stuck in his chest, heavy and constricting. “You had to do what you had to do.” Even if it did hurt. “I’m not mad at you.” Not right now. In this exact moment he felt too much and not enough but none of it was anger. “You didn’t…you didn’t mean to. To hurt me. I know that. Never doubted that for a second.” Not entirely, at least. Doubts did creep up, and it was hell when they did, as he tried to keep them from completely suffocating him. Scorpius was his best friend. There weren’t too many people still in Ollie’s life that he trusted more.

anything oliver said was obviously excusable in his mind considering he could’ve said something too and didn’t. all of it just felt like wasted time now and he hated talking about what could’ve been but he still wanted to know how oliver thought. ‘you’re not. you’re not insufferable at all... you’re really wonderful, ol. i know that i don’t tell you that enough but you really are wonderful. we’re both a little fucked up, aren’t we? i know it’s not the basis of a perfect relationship in any sort but you’ve never been a burden on me and this wouldn’t have changed too much at all. you’re not a burden, ollie. i adore you endlessly.’ scorpius reached out for his hands, just suddenly missing his touch immensely. he wasn’t even sure if now was the time for them both to jump into something serious and committed, but he didn’t like being in limbo. didn’t want to be halfway with ollie anymore, just... wanted the smallest form of stability, anything at all. ‘you are allowed to be mad, if you ever decide to be. it’s alright, i’ll understand and bend over backwards endlessly until you can forgive me. i did what i thought was right but i wasn’t very caring for the consequences. and.. i’ll never be doing anything like that again because i hate being alone. i hate not speaking to you and having you as a friend. i think i took our friendship for granted and it’s one of my most sincere ones. i love you ollie, i’ve thought about you everyday since i met you, even if i didn’t intend to and if... you ever want to give us a shot, i’m here and i’m yours.’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

[scorpiontheking]

( olivcrdurslcy. )

“I don’t get where you’re coming from. Not…not that much. Trust me, I fucking know what it’s like to realize your life is going nowhere, that you’re a stationery part of a whirring machine and sooner or later you’re just going to either break off or break the ones around you. I’m plenty familiar with not knowing who you are, but it was never something I could run from. So I did the next best thing. I pushed everyone away. I thought if you guys just stopped caring about me, the only person who could hurt me was me, and I’d fucking deserve it. You were one of the few people who didn’t let me do that to myself. You were there, and that was what I needed. If you think, for one fucking second, I wouldn’t have tried to understand what you needed if you’d just told me…shit. I…I don’t…” He stumbled for a moment, his mouth moving faster than his head, not quite sure how to articulate exactly what he thought. He was angry. Immensely so. Hurt, as well. On the opposite end of the spectrum, he was shocked. Had Scorpius really just..? “Scorpius.” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d called him that. “I…” The words seemed to stick in his throat, refusing to budge. But he had to say it. Scorp leaving seemed to prove that Oliver’s life wasn’t nearly as predictable as he’d hoped, and he had never gotten a second chance before. “I lied. For…a while. I got weird about us being friends –just friends– but…shit, everyone could see I was fucking smitten. Everyone but you. My dad caught on by, like, seventh year. My dad, Scorp.” So now that was out there. And there was no taking it back. No way to laugh his way out of it. It was out in the open and he had no control over what that information did now.

‘i know, i know.’ scorpius just sighed, sliding down on the seat till his bed rested against the back and he could look away from oliver and up at the ceiling to think over his shit decisions. of course ollie would’ve understood... everyone would’ve understood but scorpius was just... stubborn. he looked like he wasn’t even listening, but he was. he absorbing in information before he knew what to say. then ollie got a tad bit more serious, so scorpius sat up and nodded when he said his name and it just seemed like this was going to be hard to hear. and... in a way it was fucking ridiculous because it was hard and easy at the same time. obviously he had no idea how to react so he was frozen just looking out at him with parted lips. ‘so.’ he sighed, furrowing his brows together, ‘everyone knew... except me? everyone--fuck, oliver!’ he pushed himself and up ran his hands through his hair as he absent mindedly walked back and forth. ‘it’s just.. ollie... i wish you would’ve told me sooner... because i spent years convincing myself i was delusional and that there was nothing more here. you know how i am, i like everyone. feelings, sexual or romantic and friendship and fuck all of that’s screwed up in my head and i spent so many years suppressing everything i feel about you because i didn’t want to ruin we had with something we may not be able to have anyway.’ he shook his head and went over to sit down beside oliver as his mind was trying to sort through his emotions because he just didn’t know what to feel. ‘i’m sorry i hurt you, ollie. i’m sorry i hurt you so many times, and if i ever made you feel little or just. you mean the world to me, you’re my best friend and i’m sorry for walking out on you.’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

[scorpiontheking]

( olivcrdurslcy. )

“You left.” And it didn’t matter that he’d spent three months ignoring it, because now everything was staring him right in the face. He was here, but he wasn’t before, and Oliver hadn’t gotten any warning of either. “You fucking left.” And to Oliver’s piece of shit brain he’d been as good as dead for three months. What other reason would he have for not contacting him? It wasn’t like Ollie didn’t try, only to be met with silence. The only explanation, in his convoluted, desperate attempts at rationalization in the middle of a tailspin, was that he was just gone. He didn’t want to cry now. He’d done enough of that, when the change to routine was new and raw and he wasn’t going back to that. But the emotion he’d pushed down came reeling back, and he kept his words short, tense, hoping the way they wavered would go unnoticed. “Fuck you. I fucking missed you. You’re a dumbass.”

‘i know.’ he frowned, pulling his legs up and crossing them on the seat to keep himself from fidgeting too much. ‘i didn’t... intend to.’ scorpius bit on his bottom lip nervously trying to not coward out of this conversation. ‘fuck, okay. i did intend to. i wanted to leave and not look back because i made my life shit and i walked through this damn school every day with no purpose. and i couldn’t just pull purpose out of nowhere, i just.. had none. my mum died twelve years ago, my dad eloped and it still fucked me up. because... i just don’t think i ever grieved. i threw myself into relationships and sex and drinking and i thought i was so fucking brilliant. but i wasn’t, so i had to go. i just.. needed to run away and be alone because i couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror because i didn’t know who i was.’ scorpius didn’t see this as a sad thing anymore, at least not his bit, but when he thought about how he’d abandoned oliver.. yeah, that was gut wrenching. ‘but i didn’t intend to leave you. i meant to call so many times, but i’m that selfish that i just didn’t. i didn’t know what to say or how to explain what was going on because nothing and everything at the same time and i didn’t know how to say that. subconsciously, maybe i was running from everything but you. i.. how do i explain that i wanted you to run away with me but not throw your life away because of me? that i wanted what i wanted but i wanted what was best for you. i’m torn, it’s the truth. i’m so sorry i left you, oliver. you mean more to me than you’ll ever know.’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

[scorpiontheking]

( olivcrdurslcy. ) 

See, over the years Oliver had learned better ways to cope with the tidal waves of emotion that threatened to pull him under at the slightest shift in routine. Before, back at Hogwarts, he’d just get angry. He’d push everyone away, figuring no one could hurt him if he didn’t have anyone, and maybe he didn’t deserve their company anyway. That thought still hit him from time to time, the thought that the people he cared about just didn’t care like he did, and maybe the person in the wrong was actually him. Scorpius had been one of his best friends, and if you asked he’d insist that was all. So when he’d just left, without so much as a ‘later bitches’ or some other weird form of goodbye that for Scorp was just normal, Ollie took it hard. But rather than drowning in thoughts that he wasn’t even worth a goodbye, he just ignored it. He threw himself into his work, figuring if he just stayed busy, he could avoid overthinking and spiraling. Because, logically, he knew people just left sometimes. It happened. But his brain hated him, and he’d do everything he could to ignore every irrational, self loathing thought. People left, and it was okay.

But that still meant he was busy, and this was his passion. This line of work was something he loved, something he wanted to do for the rest of his life. So it was easy to get lost in it. Which, on this particular day, was exactly the state he was in, absorbed in multiple volumes and jotting down notes from all of them, the voice not quite registering when it rang out. 

“If you’re not Lilium nepalense I can’t particularly say yes or no.” He answered, looking up after another moment, his eyes widening in recognition when he actually saw him.

as ballsy as scorpius had been, approaching oliver was probably going to be the easiest part in all this. it was just, him. just him in particular that sent scorpius out of whack. what him and freddie had seemed purely sexual now, the romance was just their friendship shining through. what him and chany out was.. both, but nothing because they never wanted each other at the same time. but him and ollie? well, fuck that because ollie didn’t even want him like that. then again, scorpius hadn’t even realised he wanted oliver as more than just whatever they were before, because what he was good as was swallowing his feelings and not talking about it. ‘ollie.’ he spoke softer now, almost hesitantly sitting down across from him. ‘i missed you, ollie.’ he had to start slow, hadn’t even begun to consider what sort of consequences his actions would’ve had but the shock on the others face made him think what if people just thought scorpius was never coming back? that maybe he should’ve thought twice before making such an intense decision and not looking back. ‘are you... you gotta say something, man.’

[scorpiontheking]

head first into the abyss - scorpius&oliver

( @olivcrdurslcy. )

where has scorpius been? good question. after spending christmas with his father and his now step mother in hawaii, scorpius realised he had absolutely no intention of coming back. truthfully, he didn’t care for school, even with just a year left in his degree. he didn’t want to go back, didn’t care for school dances, didn’t even really want to be around his friends right now. he loved them as always, just felt like his life needed to change... needed to move forwards. so he dropped out of school, figured he had his whole life to get a degree and hit the road... for a day before ending up in paris, france in a hotel for three months completely paid for by his father. thing was, scorpius hated change and everything had changed, even if some was for the better like zach and eli dating or draco finding love but... he was sick and tired of the same old routines and of course he’d skip town and not write to his friends or read any of the owls sent to him. spent three months doing nothing but everything at the same time. he felt free and refreshed and just... alive. he could feel his passion for life back again, realised why he was in university and managed to let go of some things he’d been holding onto for quite some time. like, stop fucking everyone if you’re looking for love, and if you are looking for love, give it a try rather than run away from it. so evidently he was back to go back to school and also fix his bloody mess of a love life before everything crumbled and he fell. same as before, just better dressed and with a new attitude. still didn’t bother writing to his mates or anything, just decided to waltz into school, roaming every corridor like he owned the place until he finally saw the person he wanted to see.                                                         ‘miss me, darling?’