scottish beyonce

lewis calamari. god amongst men & king of sunglasses. @hellishextent

[mishalnr]

why did my last two braincells had to be a sad one and a stupid one

[scottishbeyonce]

me bangin on the door of ma record label lookin for the rest of ma 10mil net worth

[scottishbeyonce]

have ya ever been in the back of an uber and let wee farts slip out? pure nerve-wrackin that is. high risk, high reward though.,

[nocontextbobs]

[purplehearts-pinkfarts-deactiva]

[scottishbeyonce]

gonna dress up as international pop sensation shawn mendes a costume so good ya gonna think im him

[scottishbeyonce]

nat is the most sus of all, periodt

[scottishbeyonce]

if ya want an idea of how average i am. at the grammys a lass came to ‘relieve me of duties’ cos she thought i was one of those people who fill the seat while ya go to the loo. i had been nominated.

[brightsol]

idk about you, but im feeling 22.

[scottishbeyonce]

@prettyasfuck @brightsol BLOCKED @la-la-lisa all i need for that is a pair of heart shaped sunglasses. perfect. @categg dunno about that, the only clothes he wears is a hat and a pair of boots and nobody needs to see that.

[scottishbeyonce]

this years hottest item for christmas is me! can ya believe it? ave been immortalized as a pop figure so now i’m buying one for all of you. merry lewismas.

[scottishbeyonce]

takin suggestions on halloween costumes

will block anyone who says ‘meat loaf’ or ‘potato smiley’. thank you.

[scottishbeyonce]

mira, the lass who peels her grapes, is the same girl who the other day told me she picked the seeds out of strawberries before she ate them

[scottishbeyonce]

2020 is the year of the mullet

[scottishbeyonce]

i hate that of all the photos of me that could have come up for that, it had to be the one where i look like someones gran tryin ta use technology for the first time

[scottishbeyonce]

one of these is not like the others

[tacohelle]

🐻 🐻 🐻