[scream3]

i like my blog

[yardsards]

been toying with the concept of vampirism as like, needing something that you inherently can't provide for yourself. vampirism as dependency- especially in cases of vampires who refuse to (or straightup *cannot* for whatever reason) feed on anyone without consent, who must rely on blood freely given by living humans.

an independent young adult, so eager to move out on her own and see the world by herself, is turned into a vampire. her human parents are willing to feed her, but now she'll be dependent on them. she can't move away, can't stray too far from the family farm by herself, because she can't be too far from her source of blood for too long. she's afraid of what will happen when her parents are too old to give blood to her, if she'll be able to find someone else to depend on. she'll outlive them all eventually, if she's not left to starve.

a sociable vampire with a wide network of human friends who are willing to offer up their blood to her. they're happy to help her, but she still feels like a monster for having to take their blood all the time. she tries to take as little as possible while they beg her please take more, we hate seeing you so hungry all the time, please let us help. 

a vampire trapped in an abusive marriage because he relies on his wife for blood. if he leaves her without an alternate support system to feed him, he'd starve. she isolated him from all his other loved ones who might've been willing to feed him years ago. she holds the fact that she gives him her blood over his head anytime he tries to defend himself.

[bioluminescently-unfolding]

This kind of thing is why I look at vampirism as a dimension of disability - it's impossible for me to look at their circumstances and not see the vulnerabilities and complex logistical problems imposed by chronic illnesses. It's the absolute inability to be exposed to the sun - sometimes even inability to move or stay awake when the sun is up. It's the inability to take other forms of nourishment besides blood. It's the mental and emotional experience of being unable to focus on anything else if you get too hungry.

But, as in these examples (and especially the "what happens when I outlive my parents?"), it is indeed overwhelmingly about "what if I just can't meet my own needs on my own?" and that is a very common experience.

And having been both disabled and an abusive survivor, I find that juxtaposition particularly fascinating, because it's common as hell - vastly moreso than most people realise - for those things to coincide. I often fin horror fiction the most emotionally and creatively useful genre lens for exploring difficult real-life experience, and stuff like this is why.

[orgyporgy]

Guy who closes his locker and then dances out of frame in that one scene in the twin peaks pilot. Nobody gets it like him.

[orgyporgy]

He was right to do this

[kochamchleb]

[scream3]

what if i made this my primary posting place again

[clanslist]

[xoxobaphomet]

[catmask]

being the most left leaning family member means everyone will always think that youre insane and then in two years they will believe what you were explaining to them two years ago but still think youre insane now. and you do it anywaybecause you love them

[catmask]

[oceantoyz]

[389]

Creepy icicle (looks like a decaying hand)

[rpfofficial]

[accidentalslayer-deactivated202]

[plumslices]

[mynowherenothing]

I’ve got a war in my mind so i just Blog

[outofcontextanimash]

[aerial-tal]

Kate Bush Moving in a blue leotard in 1979.

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

Chalk blue socks by Mary Quant. Cherry leather platform shoes by Manolo Blahnik for Zapata, Vogue, February 1973