A list of things Ven Alonso Ciervo isn't allowed to do
Due to recent mischievous behaviour from the subject of this list the members of the GBPD have gathered a list of things that are now forbidden for Ven (and everyone else) to do:
1. Ramirez's frying pan has proven vital on several occasions, so hiding it isn't funny. If this behaviour continues it will be classified as theft (and unofficially as endangering the police force).
2. While putting hot sauce into Jones' coffee was funny that one time it stopped being funny every time after. Jones has noticed. He doesn't appreciate the "extra kick" in his morning caffeine.
3. Ven, it isn't 'enrichment' for Ace to lock up his things and then put the key to that lock behind another puzzle and lock on the other side of the station for which one needs to solve ANOTHER puzzle beforehand. This isn't Resident Evil.
Addendum: Also it isn't good for our blood pressure whenever Ace searches for something when there's no ongoing investigation. One of these days he'll find a corpse in the station (somehow).
4. Do not scare the interns and new officers. Lying to them is also prohibited. Just to be clear: The code to the locker room isn't 0451 and never has been.
5. This hasn't happened yet, but this is just a precaution directed at everyone (and not just Ven): Do NOT mess with someone's allergies. "It's only a mild allergy" isn't a valid excuse.
6. Criticising the murder method and giving actual advice for improvements to the killer is... concerning behaviour. Stop. Just stop, please.
7. Do not, under any circumstances (!), use fake names when booking rooms for conferences. āDetective V. BeyoncĆ©ā is not going to fly anymore (and yes, theyāve called to confirm. Apologise to the poor secretary that had to figure that one out). If you so desperately don't want to book a room under your own name then ask someone else to book it for you.
8. No more of those āI can read your mindā jokes around Ramirez and Jones. Yes, we know youāre extremely good at reading body language. No, Ramirez doesnāt need to think you can tell his coffee order just by the way he ties his shoelaces.
9. Do not sabotage Jonesā locker or anyone's locker in general. When we say "harmless fun," we mean it. The glitter-filled, confetti-explosion thing was not what we had in mind. The glitter is still there and will probably still be there during the heat death of our solar system.
10. Ven isn't allowed to comment, add to or edit this document.
11. No more setting off the airhorn in the break room during lunch or any other time. Grace will strangle you one of these days if you make her spill coffee on herself one more time.
12. No more disappearing for an entire shift only to reappear in the break room and claim you were "out getting the intel.ā We know you're just out pranking the new recruits and Jones. We can hear your laughter from across the station. You're not subtle.
