Love is Blind and Stupid

I'm sorry i dont laugh at the right times

[metamorphesque]

“I watched life and wanted to be a part of it but found it painfully difficult.”

— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

[metamorphesque]

― Clarice Lispector, Near to the Wild Heart

[esotericswiftie]

1. anti-hero, taylor swift / 2, 19. “taylor swift’s ‘sexy baby’ lyric is more than a ‘30 rock’ reference,” sophia june for nylon magazine / 3, 4, 12, 22. taylor swift ages 14-16, photographed by andrew orth / 5, 23. dominique swain age 15, photographed for lolita (1997) / 6, 17. “the fetishization of girlhood,” m.c. easton / 7. lolita (1962), dir. stanley kubrick / 8. 22 (mv), taylor swift / 9. anti-hero (mv), taylor swift / 10, 14, 18. nothing new, taylor swift ft. phoebe bridgers / 11. “2008’s country lolita: taylor swift,” gavin edwards for rolling stone / 13, 21. lolita (1997), dir. adrian lyne / 15. okcupid dating chart: age preferences by gender / 16. all too well (ten minute version), taylor swift / 20. university of pittsburgh 2021-2022 undergraduate catalog / 23. would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, taylor swift

apologies for this ridiculously long megathread, but i found a ton of these photographs of taylor from when before she was famous, around ages 14-16, and ooh boy, did they get me thinking…

sometimes i wonder if she just really lucked out with the mostly desexualized “innocent girl-next-door” persona becoming her brand throughout her early career, because it looks like things could have gone in a very different direction for her in another universe.

like you can literally see taylor being de-aged between her debut and fearless era as her public image cemented…the posing, the makeup, the hair, the clothing…it’s all very deliberate and sinister.

and now, all these years later, no one knows better than taylor herself that the most desirable thing a woman can be is not a woman, but a girl…a sexy baby, if you must.

her heart-shaped sunglasses, nothing new, the ten minute version of all too well, would’ve could’ve should’ve…she knows all about society’s sickness, its simultaneous fetishization and destruction of girlhood. she knows because she’s lived through it.

we don’t often categorize her or think of her as one, but she was a child star, and she barely escaped its curse. just barely. but unlike so many other child stars, unlike dolores haze, she survived with her voice and her pen, and she can see it all now, it was wrong.

[screamingcrayons182]

How Many Days Has It Been Now?

I want to die, not seriously, I want it to be revocable.

No one thinks I'm eligible,

too easily slowed,

the calm after the storm,

you make me laugh and stop me from crying

and suddenly I seem fine,

I can eat like a normal person

sleep like I'm fine,

I'm built for survival but no one seems to keep me in mind,

I'm a daydreams away from suicide

but my mother would be horrified if she knew.

i'm not sleeping or eating, I'm just fucking functioning.

and even then im struggling

It makes no sense, I've not got it that bad.

But I need people to see, the pain is drowning me

But only long enough for me to breathe,

Pulling my legs down, I'm carrying tons

but my heads above the water so the lifeguards never going to help,

If I stop swimming maybe I'll be saved

It's not like I don''t need him, clearly i'm in pain.

How many days has it been now?

Open water, no boat,

They forget i'm troubled when I'm not screaming for help.

They forget I'm drowning if I try to help myself.

[antifa-hulk]

Anyways the way Tumblr treats the Perks Of Being A Wallflower like it’s cringe and bad just because of the hipster craze over it in 2012 and ignoring the fact that it’s one of the few books/movies that shows the ugly side of teen mental illness and discusses sexual trauma in young boys (something only portrayed in shows like SVU) is in fact, bullshit, and I’ll never forgive y'all for taking the line “we accept the love we think we deserve” (a reference to toxic abusive relationships) and turning it into cringe culture. This is a book about a struggling depressed kid who I saw myself in as a teen, and yeah he and his friends could be annoying and pretentious but are you going to say you weren’t as a kid?

Alexa post tweet

[devoid-of-everything]

It is so fucking exhausting fighting your brain every day dude

[screamingcrayons182]

i wish it made sense

I wish it made more sense, 

to leave or make a mends,

I wish it made more sense,

to love or to hate, to live or end.

You’ll hate me no matter what,

‘I love you till the end’ its bullshit when we’re friends, 

I’m your lover but your hater,

You’re reliant on my soul but I’m reliant on your memories. 

I want to move on, but I’m so aware

of the loneliness I’ll feel inside

Fill it with a casual fuck,

or feminist motion that being single is enough

After 3 years of living our truest selves.

I don’t know who that is anymore, 

I don’t believe that you do as well, 

holding onto the notion that things will get better with time

but fuck time isnt real and I’m not happy now

Maybe years down the line, months or even weeks,

we’ll get back together and i’ll say,

that was shit, lets never do it again. 

Or i’ll be happy, not happier than us, happier than now. 

Because this relationship means the world to me but also means shit when its fucking with my mental health.

I wish it made sense, 

common sense or otherwise, 

no decision like this is easy,

you say I won’t fight for you 

but honestly, if you knew,

Im tearing myself apart, 

to live for you, to die for you. 

to live with you and die with you. 

No common sense or pros and cons list will give me the answer,

no matter how much I fuck up my mind, 

I cannot decide.

I wish it made sense,

to break up or see it through

But when I’m losing my mind and i’m sure you are too,

Maybe some time is what we need, 

because nothing makes sense when I’m with you

and I wish i could make sense of my head.

I wish it made sense. 

[sa-dnesss]

[screamingcrayons182]

I cant pretend that its getting better

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[especially]

[approvers]

[revolutionidiot]

Young gremlins

[depression-healthy-carrier]

I want to stay alive but it hurts being here

[riverdaleremix]

[donnapinciotti-moved]

[3amsouls]

i wish i could hurt you the way you’ve hurt me, but i could never be so cruel.

x (via shreddedwristsandbrokenhearts)

[lovingregs]

“and just like that something so perfect can turn so complicated.”

(i’m never enough)