glass heart

crystallize and conquer. { ɪ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ } — { ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ } ᴇᴍɪʟɪᴀ ʟᴇɴᴏʀᴀ ᴅᴇʟᴀᴄʀᴏɪx sɪʀᴇɴ. sᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴏʀ. ❝you don't own me. not a n y m o r e

[brokenwings--learntofly]

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[adamantiumxbeast-blog]

[Despite his objections, the girl was off and he assumed it was for a shirt he’d declined. He looked down at the shirt he was wearing and the blood kept getting more obvious to him. Adrian didn’t even remember who the blood belonged to, if they were still alive; it all began to blur. When she came back, he caught the shirt in his and listened to her speak. Adrian pulled the messy shirt off and pulled the clean one on. She spoke of similar things Samantha had, if not on a more passionate level. He felt terrible for not remembering them. He looks at the photograph, but the girl in it doesn’t look or feel familiar. No more familiar and no less familiar than the girl physically beside him. And it hurts, because he wants to. He can at least feel that in his chest and stomach; he wants to know them. He needs to.] I wish I could remember her. Wish I could remember any of you. [He looks away from the photograph jaw clenching and lips trembling more than he’d like. It’s giving too much of himself away to a person he doesn’t know. His eye twitches and he nods down at the ground, trying to focus on just one thing. He can’t and he looks back to the ginger girl.] I’m sorry. I— I’m really sorry.

[screamingmad-blog]

[ It's not what she wanted to hear, but it was a start. At least he wanted to remember them. It was a start. Her fact softened as he spoke, and the obvious strain of his featurs struck a note within her. They were both just as sad as the other. ] It's fine-- It was beyond your control. We'll get there. [ But even she doesn't believe her words. There's no guarantee of him properly remembering her or Ariella. There was no silver lining. Just an undeniable truth and a slither of false hope. ] You've always helped me. I guess it's my turn. [ She pauses, her lower lip trembling as her eyes begin to sting. She wants to cry. She wants to scream. But all she can do is force herself to look at the ground and keep herself together, but even that does nothing. She's just a shaking mess. She cleared her throat, but her head had not risen from the spot it had sunk to. ] Is t-there-- Did you want me to show you a-anything else? Or y-you could get changed, I d-dunno. Your choice. 

[adamantiumxbeast-blog]

[The girl instructs him to stay and despite the fact he’s sure he should leave, he submits to her quickly. He takes his spot back in the chair, head shaking lightly when she offers up a shirt. He doesn’t mind the blood, not entirely. It makes him feel dirty and wrong, but in the facility, he was reminded that that’s who he was. He was dirty and wrong and evil; he was a man of blood lust even before they altered his DNA. Adrian wants to look at her, to make sure it’s really the girl Samantha told him about. The one he was once in love with; the girl he suspected he’d want to know again. With a quick glance, there’s confirmation and he’s terrified he may hurt her. The control he does have only comes in small spurts and he doesn’t know what else he’s capable of. With another question, he nods. He knows who she is; maybe not entirely or the way she wants him to know. But he does know.] You’re Emilia. Samantha told me. [It comes out sounding smaller than he’d like and a part of him feels terrible for perhaps bringing false hope for that small blip of a second.] I… I don’t know anything.

[screamingmad-blog]

[ The fact that he listened was comforting. It was something she could focus on, besides the dull heartache of him not entirely remembering her. He knew of her, but didn't know her. It hurt, but she had worse things in her life to be upset over. He would be just another person she forced herself to smile at, and that's what she did. ] I'll be right back. Promise. [ She backs away, before quickly running to her room. Her first objective is finding a shirt, despite his polite decline of her offer. She had held on to a few of his old belongings left behind prior to his move to Washington, some of those being old shirts she was too fond to let go of entirely. He hadn't grown too much, so she assumed it would still fit. The next object she had in mind was a photograph, if he was left in the dark of who he was, the least she could was shine some light on those he once loved. She figured the best start would be Ariella. She gathered the items in her arms before returning to Adrian, tossing him the shirt and placing herself on the chair beside him. ] You used to call me Emsy. I wouldn't let anyone else call me that, not even my father. You had nicknames for everyone, even your baby sister. [ She pauses, her eyes glued to the floor beneath her. If she looks at him, she'll cry. She doesn't want that. ] You were so proud of her. The first time I met her, you just gushed about how pretty she was... and how beautiful she would become. [ Her hands lift and reveals the photograph from before, pointing to the smiling girl beside Adrian before placing the photo beside him on the table. ] That's her. That's Ariella. You protected her, and she grew into someone your mother would have been so proud of. She's a little rough, and just as stubborn as you... But she's good. You both are. 

[adamantiumxbeast-blog]

[Nothing made sense. Even the flashes of faces and smiles didn’t. They were all so little in his head, it was like his memory fell away after he turned 12. His hands clenched the sides of his head and that’s when he heard the small voice of a girl. Immediately his head shot up and he bounced back as she began to speak more. Her face was familiar, only because his one time kidnapped companion had shown her face. His hands shook and he stood up, trying to remove himself from the apartment.] I didn’t know— I didn’t know anyone was here. [There was a pang of guilt mixed with some feeling he couldn’t place. He backed up, further towards the door to leave. He wasn’t clear on anything, still. But he didn’t want to scare the girl.] I can go. I should go, I should— I’m sorry, yeah. 

[screamingmad-blog]

No. Stay. You're covered in blood... which is bad. Really bad. [ Her voice is soft, and she refuses to look him directly in the eye. But, she does offer a slight smile, despite it being forced, her intentions were still pure. ] I c-could find a new shirt... or something. [ She's hesitant, from the disorientated thoughts she had picked up upon, and the sudden lack of Adrian... well, being Adrian. Something was off, she had just figured it was the shock of a psych ward. It was far deeper than that, obviously. Her eyes lingered on the remnants of blood, and she should be scared, but all she can muster is sympathy for the boy. She knew Adrian was a good person. He was just a little lost. Her only hope was for him to return to his former self with ease. ] I just have one question. [ There's a pause, it's almost selfish, really. She had her suspicions, but she just wanted to be sure. ] Do you know who I am? 

[adamantiumxbeast-blog]

[Adrian isn’t sure how long he’d been in the psych ward. All he knew, is that the monotone voices of the nurses and the monochrome rooms were getting on his last nerve. So an escape was entirely not a terrible thing. Even if he did accidentally stab someone with one of the claws he’d been trying to control. He felt terrible; but he always did. He didn’t remember anything new, the one person he did know was MIA, and he was confused as per usual. He went to an apartment that felt familiar, forcing the door open with one of his metal claws before sitting on a dining room chair. He was still confused, but at least everything wasn’t a shade of white. He was trying to breathe and sort out flashes in his head, trying not to look at the blood on his hands. But he couldn’t, not really. His foot tapped on the floor and he stared, hoping something would click.]

[screamingmad-blog]

[ She had resisted the urge to scream. She knew someone was coming, but the silence that followed the initial bang was terrifying. The pack was gone, they were keeping everything else from falling apart. All she seemed to be doing was wasting oxygen. Her focus had slightly shifted, and her legs began to inch closer to the wall she had hid behind. She didn't want to make her presence known, but something kept making her will to move even stronger. It didn't make sense. The girl practically radiated fear and she felt the urge to walk out of her hiding place. ] I'll scream if yo-- [ Her voice went dry when the figure came into view. It was him. She was frozen in fear, and her attempts at speaking resulted in pitiful squeaks of murmured words. ] No. No, n-no, no-- you're n-not supposed to be here. 

[broadwayinthedistance]

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[screamingmad-blog]

little do you know

all my mistakes are drowning me

little do you know

i'm trying to make it better piece by piece

[abc123def456ghi]

anywhere i would’ve followed you

[unbrokenidentical-blog]

[Samantha doesn’t care about Ariella. Maybe for Caela’s sake when she comes to and remembers everything, but as far as Samantha cares, she isn’t important. But maybe she is. Her best friend is once again in a coma and after seeing and hearing the hell that she’d been through, she understood why. From Emilia, she’d expect it. Caela and her were nothing, perhaps less. But from Ariella; It made her blood boil. She blamed her. If not for another Hardwick, Delia wouldn’t be dead and Caela would be awake. It takes her a moment to withdraw from her own head and her eye twitches.] He’s in the psych ward. [He’d tried to attack various nurses and doctors, which she was slowly beginning to understand. Everything she and Adrian had been through, only to go through more. It wasn’t fair. The comment about Riley goes right through her, because she doesn’t believe it. People didn’t fight for her. Caela had, and she was barely hanging on. Delia had, and she was dead.] We’re not friends, Emilia. I’m not friends with Ariella. I’m barely friends with Riley. My friends are dead and dying. I don’t have anyone to shut out. Please— Please, don’t pretend you care about me. [She doesn’t have venom in her voice and it begins to crack. Despite how hard she’s tried not to cry, she does. And she knows it’ll all bite her when her anger and resentment fades, but she doesn’t care. Everything bites her.] 

[screamingmad-blog]

[ She had tried. She tried to include herself. She tried to help. Just about every attempt ended the same. A part of her expected more, but even she knew this would happen. No amount of optimism could hide it. But she lets her speak, people tend to not do that when you're just shy of mentally breaking down. ] Fine. [ Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper. But it cracked, and her lower lip began to tremble. She refused to look at Samantha, she didn't want to see the same expressions she had seen on so many others. The same feeling bubbles within her as it usually did, she had to scream. But she had denied herself even that. She didn't deserve to cry. Or scream. People were dead and she was trying to make amends with someone who obviously didn't want it. So, she turned away from the girl, not even attempting to wipe the tears as they began to fall. The one person she had left to turn to was in a psych ward. The person she would have turned to was dead. It crushed her knowing that she was shut out once more, but she could at least understand where the poor girl was coming from. She had done the same. ] When s-she wakes up, tell her I'm sorry. I'll go say goodbye and j-just-- I'll stay away. Promise. [ Her voice cracked once again, but she knew very well that she wasn't heading to Delia. It was too soon. Too many wounds had been opened. So, she walks away. It what she should have done with Caela. It's what she should have done from the start. Maybe her father was right, maybe all they would do was remind her of what she would always lose. ]

[unbrokenidentical-blog]

[Samantha doesn’t know if Delia will hear them anymore. She wants to believe that she’ll get the chance to say a proper goodbye, one that she was moments from actually getting before she died, but that hope is gone. She’d felt the pulse die out in her hands; she didn’t think Delia’d stick around to listen to her now. Maybe Emilia, but not her. Still, she nods, nods as if the ginger is right in being somewhat optimistic. But Sam wouldn’t do that.] No. I haven’t called her or anything. There’s nothing she can do here. [All that’s there is Samantha and people who have less life. And the brunette was surely not good company, not after the hell she’d endured, only to return to another circle of it. She can feel herself absentmindedly picking at one of the lacerations the explosion left on her skin, but she barely flinches. It’s keeping her focused and less emotional, and that’s what she needs.] If you see her, tell her I’m fine. And if you see Ariella, tell her Caela is, too. More sad people isn’t ideal and… And I— I can’t face more people. [She can feel the facade beginning to crack, but she tries to hide it because she doesn’t want to be another sad person. She can’t.]

[screamingmad-blog]

I d-don't think Ariella will come back. [ From what she had gathered, well, heard from her alignment with Ariella, there was a fight. She heard the same phrase over and over again. I'm done with you. It pounded within her mind, especially when she tried to focus on Ariella's now feral mind. ] She went-- She lost control. She wanted to see Adrian and keep Caela safe. She c-couldn't do both. She kept saying something about being done, and then she left. Nobody knows where she is. Since y-you're here... I'd assume he is as well. [ She was surprised with how little she had thought of him. In the past few hours, her mind had been so focused on Delia... His name didn't even come to mind. It was sad. She had spent so long crying for his return, and when he does, she's already too far gone to shed a tear. ] She might catch his scent and c-come back. But I'll p-pass it on to Riley. You know she's going to fight like hell to s-see you, right? [ There's a crack in her voice. She had always envied something about those around her. They all had siblings. They had a bond she had wanted with Isla. They all had someone who would always wait for them. ] She always will... Riley will probably tear the hospital apart. Don't shut her out-- don't shut any of us out, please? 

[unbrokenidentical-blog]

[The first words Emilia say go right over her head. Being back didn’t really mean anything anymore. The people she was fighting to return to were gone, at least for now. At least most of them. Delia was brain dead, Caela was in yet another unconscious state, and she was certain her sister wouldn’t be there to comfort her.] Explosion. She hit her head, I think. [She knew. For a moment, she struggled, but she blinked everything back. After years of craving someone that had only loved her, she’d gotten it, and it’d been ripped away. It was a reminder and this time, she wouldn’t forget.] She was gone before— But I requested they revive her and put her on machines, so people could say goodbye. So Caela could, when she woke up. [Because she will wake up. Samantha has to believe that or she’ll collapse under everything else. Under the weight of losing another person, of seeing them lose their light. She can already feel it weighing heavy on her heart.] She always heard you. I don’t think she’d stop now. 

[screamingmad-blog]

[ Emilia knew the reality of it. She was dead. Life support was just a safety net. It helped those believe there was a chance... and Emilia wanted nothing more than to be one of those who believed in a chance of survival. But she had felt the initial blow. She could feel her life slip away and it didn't occur to her until it was too late. ] She's strong. Of course she'll h-hear us. [ She still felt guilty. She knows that when Caela learns of her presence, she'll be less than amused. Their harsh exchange of words had been weighing upon her for some time. She was what caused Caela to snap. Every time she was mentioned her face would flash in her mind in the venom she spat at her would repeat. ] Does Riley know y-you're here? I think she's-- She's probably still looking for you. She hasn't stopped. None of them have. 

[unbrokenidentical-blog]

[Samantha didn’t want to leave the hospital. But she had to, in order to find Emilia and Ariella and everyone else who could potentially be affected by the explosion that had wreaked havoc. She isn’t letting her personal pain show; she’s burying it beneath everything she can, so she can actually do this. Be strong for other people. Seeing Emilia first, the person who could be and will be hurt by it more than some shakes her. But she buries that, too. There are cuts on Samantha’s face and body, but she ignores that, as well, before cautiously approaching.] She’s on machines. Life support. You can still say goodbye. Maybe she’ll hear. 

[screamingmad-blog]

You... You're back. [ She didn't doubt her state of being. She knew she was alive. Very few believed her claims. One of the few people who believed her was now dead. Well, almost. She was on life support. The only thing holding her to this place was a machine. A bloody machine. ] Do y-you-- Did they t-tell you how it happened? The d-doctors, I m-mean. Do you know how she... ended up l-like that? [ She wants to cry. But she couldn't let herself crack. It would be a waste for her to cry. She had cried so much, it had practically lost its meaning to her. The idea of saying goodbye hurt. She didn't want to lose Delia. She didn't want others to lose her, either. No matter how bitter she may have come across, she was still a good person. She was good. She was pure and she didn't deserve to meet such an end. She deserved to grow old and let herself love the girl before Emilia, and it would have been beautiful. But even Emilia knew that her kind of optimism was futile in such a dangerous world. People died whether she liked it or not, she couldn't stop it. She just had to harden her heart and say goodbye one more. ] That w-would be nice. I hope she hears. 

[screamingmad-blog]

I can't find her. [ As horrible as it sounded, Emilia had almost grown used to the twisted feeling of loss within the pit of her stomach that accompanied her realization of Delia's death. But it was different. She couldn't hear her this time. She had tried locating her, but the outcome was still the same. It was silent. It was the only form of silence she hated. It meant that it was legitimate. It meant that she was dead. ] She's g-gone and it only j-just occurred to me. I c-can't hear a-anything. I c-can always hear her a-and this time-- The one t-time I di-didn't believe it, t-the one t-time I d-didn't bloody c-check... she's a-actually dead. 

[deadlyromanovaold-blog]

n e v e r.

[screamingmad-blog]

[ She had been keeping tabs on people. If her father wanted her to have these abilities, she'd us it for herself. She had lost sight of Caela. Riley and Evelyn were tearing apart the parts of Miami that had yet to be destroyed by their wrath. But then there was Ariella... she was lost. Mentally and physically. She had been like this once before, and they had to teach her how to properly function once she returned to her human form. Emilia didn't want that. She wanted Ariella to be there for when her brother returned... but how fast she was plummeting into her feral mind, it almost seemed like a lost cause. Ariella would be too far gone. ] Everybody's-- They're all broken. 

[lookatwhatyouvedone]

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[thebabygay]

I’m not the only one who heard that, am I?

[viviling]

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[screamingmad-blog]

Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human