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Concept 29 Number 1

INT. OFFICE - DAY

A middle aged man is sitting at his desk writing. His desk is covered in papers and there's a fan threatening to blow the papers off the desk. The phone rings.

WILLIAM

Hello?

EXT. DISNEYLAND - DAY

A man in his early twenties is standing just inside the entrance to Disneyland. He's on his cell phone. He's a scrawny guy with long red hair and a scruffy beard. He has the appearance similar to a hobo.

CLARENCE

Sup, dad?

INTERCUT PHONE SEQUENCE

WILLIAM

Clarence, this isn't the time for games.

CLARENCE

This isn't a game, pops! I'm at Disneyland!

(not into the phone)

Scuse me...

A woman with three children and one baby goes around Clarence.

WILLIAM

What the- Clarence! You can't just go to Disneyland

on a whim!

CLARENCE

Well, I did. What's wrong with that?

WILLIAM

Damn it, Clarence!

CLARENCE

(mocking him)

Damn it, William!

WILLIAM

Don't even start with me.

CLARENCE

Hey, guess what? The Mad Hatter's over here! Just give

me a second to get him to sign my autograph book.

WILLIAM

You're not twelve, Clarence. You're twenty two and

you need to get your ass home.

CLARENCE

One sec, man.

Clarence moves the phone from his face and holds out a cheesy autograph book to the Mad Hatter.

CLARENCE

Make it out to Casey.

The Mad Hatter nods and says something we can't catch as he hands the autograph book back to Clarence. Clarence moves it back up to his ear.

CLARENCE

And I'm back.

WILLIAM

Go home, Clarence. Get the hell out of Disneyland.

CLARENCE

I'm twenty two, I can do whatever I want.

WILLIAM

Clarence. (speaking in a softer tone) Why

are you at Disneyland?

CLARENCE

One last present for Casey. She always wanted

to come to Disneyland and meet all the characters

and get all their signatures.

William smiles sadly and picks up a picture of a twenty year old Clarence and a little girl with red hair and green eyes at about age four.

WILLIAM

Clarence, you were a good father. Even if you're

still a kid to us.

CLARENCE

Dad, I miss my little girl... Sure, she was a mistake,

but she's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I miss her.

WILLIAM

Be home by dinner with your autograph book.

I love you, son.

CLARENCE

I love you, Dad. Bye.

WILLIAM

Bye.

William hangs up.

Clarence flips his phone shut and puts it in his pocket.

William sighs and picks up a picture of Casey that was taken more recently. She's about five and she's on the swing set at the park. He touches her face gently and a tear wells up in his eye.

Clarence wipes his eyes quickly and runs up to Alice, politely asking her to sign his autograph book.

William sets the picture down and turns to his computer. The web browser opens to a tab that has a picture of a horribly mangled car and the title reads "CAR ACCIDENT KILLS YOUNG GIRL AND MOTHER".

END INTERCUT PHONE SEQUENCE

Pilot Review: Puppy Love

I liked some of the characters, but they seemed a little too much. They kinda seemed like the same person. I liked that there was drama with a gay couple, but it seemed just a little unrealistic. Like they would have to deal with some kind of hatred because it's not a perfect world and some people are homophobic. There seemed to be too many characters and too much drama. If the drama was dumbed down a little bit, it'd be easier to comprehend. The format seemed correct.

Concept 25 Number 3

When Katy's little sister is struggling with her grades, Katy plans on helping her out with some odd advice.

Pilot Critique 2

Format 3 Unique/Interesting Characters 2 Entertaining story/conflict 1 Comments: What suggestions do you have for improvement?No clear plot, have a clear plot, make it seem more realistic.

Horror Movies

My top ten horror movies are probably Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2, Death of a Ghost Hunter, A Haunting In Connecticut, The Last Exorcism, Paranormal Entity, Catacombs, and I can't think of anything else.

Horror movies use suspenseful music and creepy noises to create a mood that then allows a watcher to be scared easier because they're already on edge.

Concept 24 Number 1

(2) a miner avenges his brother's death

I would try to pitch it as an "average day worker whose brother was involved with the mafia and he avenges their death" because it would make it a lot more interesting.

Concept 23 Number 3

In the TV show I'm working on, the main course of events are reward. It's the sort of story that there is a conflict that, as friends and by furthering their friendship, the group gets through.

Concept 22 Number 3

The TV show my group is working on is character-driven. The people make the story move forward and there is no real conflict that moves the characters forth. It's the fact that the group of five friends have very different interests and personalities that make them an interesting group. The way they interact with one another and their interests affect their decisions. In our pilot, they all get jobs they don't like because of their interests and this provides us with the conflict of the episode.

#screen writing class #concept 22 #number 3

My So Called Life

I really hate to say it, but I really dislike this show. I think that in my own show, I could use a character like Brian or Ricky. They're quirky guys that have interesting ways about them. They are intelligent and are interesting people.

I really dislike most of the other characters. They're too cliche or they're just too stupid to hold anyone's interest for long.

#op #my so called life

Concept 16 Number 2

If I could hang out with one of the five characters from the Breakfast Club, I would pick Brian, because he's the "nerd." We'd probably compare grades and talk a lot about advanced classes. We'd share opinions on GPA's and colleges. We'd probably go to somewhere cheap to eat for lunch and have interesting conversations. He'd be someone I could have an intellectual conversations with so he'd probably be a good friend.

Concept 15 Number 2

Theme: "United We Stand, Divided We Fall"

1. There's a cheer leading squad who are all really close. Drama starts going on and they slowly stop trusting each other. There's a big cheer leading competition coming up that they will lose if they don't apologize and be a team again.

2. There's a girl who's alone and has been tripping through her life and failing at whatever she sets her mind to because she has no motivation. She meets a few people that she can actually call friends and starts seeing that they are there for her and she starts seeing that she can succeed.

3. The United States suddenly gets split up into fifty different countries and these small countries start warring with each other and endangering the well-being of the entire region. One man tries to reunite these small countries under one head of government.

#concept 15 #number 2

Citizen Kane - Non-Linear Movies

The non-linear structure of Citizen Kane is a very interesting way to move the story along. I liked the structure of it and it was a simpler way, in my opinion, to move through the story than to take the linear route. With this particular structure, it made sense to jump around a lot while in a linear movie, it would be hard to make all the jumps it did. It also made the movie move forward. If it had been linear, it wouldn’t make much sense, but by using the non-linear structure they were able to use the gimmick to grab our attention and keep us interested.

I think that this movie has great potential to be the greatest movie of all time, but I don’t think it’s quite there. The gimmick at the end made the movie end without much closure for the person watching. It left you feeling empty. I would agree that this movie was the greatest movie of all time if Rosebud had been something significant and important that had a bigger impact on his life and gave you an “Ah ha.” moment instead of just zooming in on a burning sled and making it seem like it was nothing to him except a sled. Most people won’t make the connection to his childhood.

Charles Foster Kane

Thatcher - doesn't like how Charles is running his business

Leland - sees his hypocrisy, doesn't always agree,

Bernstein - respected Kane

Susan - liked that he made her laugh, doesn't like being alone with just him, wants to be around others but isn't allowed to,

Concept Thirteen Number 1

If my life were a movie, my parallel self would possibly be at home, ditching school. I've been one to often think about ditching school, but I don't have the guts to. If I were to actually ditch, I think I would grow the confidence to actually ditch and would be doing it more often. I would still be in a lot of advanced classes, but I wouldn't care. It would probably intersect a lot with my actual life, but school would be a lot different.

#screen writing class #concept 13 #number 1

Dialogue Practice

Bill - very specific

Daniel - sex jokes

Nick - basic vocabulary

Karen - angry

Kim - very to the point and blunt

Neal - quiet about his geeky things

Sam - large vocabulary

#dialogue #freaks and geeks #screen writing class

ComicCon Video

1. Journalist and film school writing about Star Trek. Learning about what it takes to run a show.

2. Wrote a spec of the X-Files.

3. Wrote a spec of the X-Files about crucifying albinos.

4. Wrote a spec of Batman the animated series.

#comiccon #x-files #albinos #batman

Concept Twelve Number One

Toy Story

FADE IN: INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM

ANDY (O.S.)

ANGLE: THE ADJOINING DINING ROOM

SFX: FOOTSTEPS

#screen writing class #concept 12 #number 1

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