Chirp could be a Torterra. Think about it.
I have a torterra in pokemon pearl named chirp

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@scrumptiousbeardbasement-blog
Chirp could be a Torterra. Think about it.
I have a torterra in pokemon pearl named chirp
Cooked this up the other day, still deciding what to do with it
You have never seen a human like this.
It is hard to know where to start.
The first time I saw her, all I could think was “bird of paradise”, but that’s no help; you have never seen a bird like this.
The empress is a woman, but she is also an army, but she is also a room, but she is also a song. She stands at the far ends of her chambers at the far end of the city, high above the depths of the mountain which houses her people who are also her herself-- each and every one of them. She is surrounded by maybe twelve, maybe twenty men and women with faces masked behind giant eyes of plaster and wood and metal in a hundred different colors. These men and women are the bodies of the empress-- they are her feathers, her wings, her hands, her voice. It is impossible to know where she ends and they begin. It is impossible to know where they end and the rest of the world begins. With a flip of her right wrist, the dancers on her right all twist, the green on the front of their outfits giving way to the red on the side-- less than an instant later, the mirrors and lenses high in the eves of the room have turned, and the blue lights pooling along the right-hand wall have shifted to violet-- less than an instant after that, the low tune playing just loud enough for you to hear has shifted as well, getting higher, louder, more lively. You can’t see it from here, but the changes are rippling down through the city below, carried by spotlights and singers. She turns her head, and a hundred-- a thousand-- more little things happen. The bodies twirl and bend and leap, vibrant costumes glittering and melting from color to color to color. Blues in the back creep forward to cover oranges in the front.
I understood right away when I saw her-- how her dynasty had carried on uninterrupted, unchallenged for the better part of a millennium now. Nobody wanted to topple her, nobody wanted to take her place.
Everyone wanted to be a part of her.
The Art of Invisible Movement
Several weeks ago, an aspiring writer asked me what my opinion was on “in-between” scenes — scenes where “nothing happened.” She noted that her favorite scenes in books were often ones where characters were only talking about their lives. How did I recommend including these while maintaining pacing?
I have three thoughts on Nothing scenes.
1. Always Be Mindful of Invisible Movement
I don’t believe in Nothing scenes. I believe in scenes that appear as Nothing scenes to the reader, but are actually full of invisible movement. I have a rule for myself — insofar as I do rules — that every scene should be doing at least two things, preferably three or more, no matter how much it appears to be about merely one.
Here are examples of things scenes can do:
• give backstory
• demonstrate character change
• create a sense of place
• satisfy logistics; i.e. move a character from place A to place B
• establish character
• explain worldbuilding
• move through action sequence
• move external plot forward
• establish dynamic between two characters through conversation or action
It can be tempting to grab just one of those and say DONE. SCENE. GOOD. But efficient storytelling, powerful storytelling, involves doing many of these at one time. A scene may appear to be merely about a character crashing his best friend’s car. But it must also be about his character journey and about his dynamic with another character, all the while pushing the external plot forward. Complexly written, but simple to read: ah yes, these scene where Ronan takes the car.
A Nothing scene might overwhelmingly appear to be merely a conversation, but it needs to be doing heavy lifting in the places in between words. Work in place, backstory, character motivation. Let the unspoken seethe inbetween the spoken. Subtly tie the conversation to the external plot. Why is the conversation happening now? Make sure it references the steps that came before it to make it seem inevitable instead of like an element that can merely lift out and be placed elsewhere without consequence.
What you’re attempting to do is maintain invisible movement. Remind the reader of what is still lurking during this quiet moment. Or remind them that this is the stake: that this quiet moment is what the characters are fighting for. Or situate the quiet moment within a larger, external plot machination, and end the conversation by wrenching them externally according to the plot.
But don’t just let them talk. You can at first. Draft it that way. Be delighted by the quiet conversation you’ve written. But then get back to work. You ain’t done. Push things forward invisibly by having the scene do something else in the background.
2. Earn It
You’ve got to earn all frothy conversations or quiet moments in two ways. First is the rhythm of the thing. It’s like a mix tape. Don’t group all the quiet stuff together, dude! Tense action scenes seem more speedy when interspersed with quiet moments, and vice versa. Earn your quiet moment by putting us through our paces for a bit first.
Second: you’ve got to emotionally earn your quiet moments, your Nothing conversations. You may have been daydreaming of the moment your two characters finally open up and reveal their deepest truths through memes, but if you do it too soon, the scene will feel empty … and slow. Like just a Nothing scene.
An emotional conversation should be a reveal, a satisfying culmination of something half-seen until that moment. Timed correctly, far enough along in the emotional journeys, these conversations will feel like a resting place or a reward instead of a lull.
3. You Can’t Live on Ice Cream Cake, or You Ruin Ice Cream Cake
There’s a reason why a lot of readers think they love Nothing scenes — they mean the scenes mentioned above, quietly emotional scenes placed well within the narrative. They feel amazing! But the chemical make up of these scenes mean that they only work when used sparingly. It’s not the quietness of them that makes them incredible. It’s what had to happen to make the quietness possible. Ice cream cake is special because it’s a rarity, brought out only for special occasions. The same goes for all pleasurable excesses in novel-making: banter, kissing, action sequences, emotional porn. They all need to be used sparingly, and to be placed as a result of story, not instead of it, or you’ll find yourself with a Nothing novel, because ice cream cake for every meal makes it lose its meaning.
The thing to remember about novel writing is that the key to pacing is tension, and tension doesn’t always come from negative consequences. Positive consequences can work just as well (think of it: love stories, exploration narratives, training sequences). Make sure your Nothing scenes maintain invisible movement by continuing to promise some kind of tension, and you’re golden.
Oh yeah, and most important? Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t pull it off in a first draft of a scene. Just because you have to end up with a hard-working scene doesn’t mean you have to be able to juggle all those layers at once. Writing is revision, revision is writing, etc. etc. etc.
I have gone back to this post because I keep thinking about it!
I remember a scene from one of my books which an editor asked me to take out: a scene in which the characters were largely enjoying themselves. Readers have often told me that this scene was one of their favourites, because I think it does work as a reward for them–it gave both the characters and readers a respite after a time of some stress! At the same time, I thoroughly understood why the editor asked me to take it out, and I did cut it down. And it wouldn’t have worked–it wouldn’t have BEEN a relief–without the stress preceding. Pleasurable excess is super pleasurable, but you don’t want there to be an excess of excess.
I deeply understand the impulse to go ‘too much of a good thing is wonderful!’ Boy do I. I once wrote an entire chapter devoted to a long-running yoghurt joke. (I don’t even eat yoghurt.) Friends, I did not keep this chapter, because it wasn’t doing the work described above–it was not infused with meaning. There was no hidden ballast in there (telling you more about a character, how they feel or what they want, through the jokes).
I love to make people laugh, and I love to make people suffer, and I think people really do enjoy doing both. I think the two things are actually best when done side by side–for instance, once you make a character seem funny, lovable, and like someone you know, it’s much worse when you kill them!
A friend of mine once told me she didn’t like making her characters suffer, and I was like ‘…Can’t relate.’ I don’t think anyone can name a character who they love, who also hasn’t suffered. The suffering is part of their story, as suffering is part of all our stories to some degree. Characters win our sympathy through their suffering, and win our love by how they struggle through it. To use the words of my people, in the land of Tir na nOg, because there is no sorrow, there can be no joy. (Because there is no hurt, there can be no hurt/comfort. Don’t look at me, I’ll show myself out.)
Another writer friend of mine refers to frosting scenes–reading just those would make readers feel like you do when you only eat the frosting. Initially awesome, but you start to feel rather peculiar quite quickly, and after a bit you don’t feel like eating anything at all. The frosting is all the sweeter for having its sweetness cut.
There must always be balance, in novels as well as the Force. ;)
Thoughts on Jesus Christ Superstar Live
Thoughts on Jesus Christ Superstar Live
In my post about Hairspray Live (On Hairspray Live (and Live Televised Musicals Generally), I aired my grievances on what the live musical had evolved to: a live movie rather than live theatre, a spectacle speckled with golf carts and multi-set complexes, an abomination one can hardly call theatre. I didn’t not get any enjoyment out of them, – rather, I just didn’t think they were what they said…
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Miscellaneous book art (made in google drawings and GIMP)
new covers
New book(s)
So it’s been a busy few months. And I’ve been keeping mostly to myself. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’ve been doing a lot of writing-- and most of all, I’ve been doing a lot of editing. It’s hard to know when to stop, when something is “done”-- or as “done” as it’s going to be. There comes a point where you have to cut yourself off and step back. So I’ve cut myself off and I’ve stepped back, and luckily enough, I like what I’ve seen. I’m proud to unveil the second edition of Making Stupid Work, corrected for all the issues in the first, with added content, a few fun new illustrations, and of course an admittedly teen-romance-y new cover. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1983349003 More than that, though, I’m proud to unveil the first edition of the sequel; Consistency. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1717738966 Enjoy!
(Note that at the moment, these books are only available in paperback. I’m hoping to come out with the ebooks in the next few weeks or so, schedule depending)
(Edit: link to book 1 was broken in first version of the post. Hopefully now it’s fixed)
There’s nothing quite like slipping back into your favorite characters. It’s like coming home after a long day of whatever-who-cares-grossness, ducking in the door, out of the snow and hopping right into your warmest, softest pair of pants. There’s no facade, no hard dignity, no implicit pressures.
Lounge characters, now there’s an idea
https://iwl.me/s/85a62134
oh. oh dear
#yesallmen need to read this: https://norasamaran.com/2016/08/28/variations-on-not-all-men/ I know I did
There's a squirmish sort of comfort to seeing myself show up as the villain in other people's stories. I'm always the villain in mine
You ever just get mad about how easy het writers have it? They don’t have to come up with intricate titles for their characters because they’ve already used the names 20 times on this page but when they just use pronouns no one gets who’s who. They have a he and a she, I always have two shes and it’s very very fucking confusing.
There’s actually a really interesting second observation built into this, which is how much emphasis writers put on romance in their plots. The idea that the problem of two characters who use the same pronouns would only crop up in stories with same-sex romances is pretty weird if you think about it. Like... what about friends?
For something to change, it cannot simply become something else; it must first stop being itself. The clenched fist breaks the bones of the world. The open hand sets the cast
so, after a while of working on it, i present
IF I WEREN’T SO LOST AND SCARED, I MIGHT BE HAVING FUN!
which is my first (and probably last, for a while) book. it has some poems, some art, some prose, and a whole lot of love. essentially a giant zine. all i want is for people to feel more themselves after. it is 76ish pages long.
GET A DIGITAL COPY ON GUMROAD GET A PRINT COPY ON AMAZON: UK, EU, / US, REST OF WORLD GET A PRINT COPY ON CREATESPACE
if you don’t have the money for a copy right now, just shoot me a line - we can work out an art trade. if you’re interested in distributing (as a zine or as a book, i guess! it definitely functions as either) then please hit me up!
my long list of thanks: will, itmam, elizabeth, becca, mike, scott, aura, margot, korey, kris, shuchi, kwesi, luke, van, hasan, jey, dany, aubrey, shaun, alekka, shruti. and anyone i missed! ah! and you!
if you would like to review this on amazon or on goodreads, i would appreciate it spectacularly!
So I’m reblogging this because during a quiet moment yesterday I peeked at the amazon preview of this book and DEAR LORD. This is someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing.
I’m not well-versed enough in the particulars of Amazon previews to know if they’re randomly picked out for different people, but what I got when I looked was mostly poetry. Truth be told, I am not usually a fan of poetry. It’s not that I hate the stuff, it’s that I’m so prose-headed I can find it very hard to engage with the medium. As a novelist, it is often difficult for me to understand why some choices are made and not others, why the lines break like this and not that, etc etc. Rhyming just makes me nauseous.
But! But but but, the poetry in this book... I’m breathless. Next time payday rolls around, I very well might scoop up a copy.
Help
Someone please convince me right now that the word “fantastical” doesn’t just sound like what you’d call the world’s greatest testicle
One of the most thrilling experiences as a storyteller is when your characters start to write themselves. Maybe it’s already happened to you, maybe it hasn’t, but write long enough and hard enough and it almost certainly will.
It’s a wonderful feeling, to be able to sit down and just have another person come flying out of your fingers. Obviously, there are questions to be asked about where you as the writer stop and this new person begins, but either way the joy is real. “Of course ___ would do that, she’s always doing that!” “Ha! That’s exactly what ____ would say in this situation!” Scroll through the writing side of tumblr and you see dozens of these posts. Hundreds. Thousands.
So yeah, characters like that are great to write. But how are they to read? As writers we assume that they’ll come across being so charming, so clever, so profoundly themselves that everyone else has no choice but to be swept of their feet, even by our villains.
Sure would be nice, wouldn’t it?
Sadly, while this sort of writing certainly doesn’t make characters any worse, it doesn’t really make them as better as we often think it does. Getting a really good sense of who a character is makes them easier to write, and on the other side giving readers a really good sense of who a character is makes them more realistic, more relatable-- especially in character-driven pieces. It’s excellent at making characters seem human. But characters aren’t supposed to be human. As the really very amazingly fantastically good writer (most of the time) Aaron Sorkin puts it:
“Characters and people aren’t the same thing. They only look alike”
Pithy, but important. In that same interview (https://www.aerogrammestudio.com/2016/07/28/aaron-sorkin-on-writing/), he cuts right to the heart of the matter:
“David Mamet has written some excellent essays on this subject. You can get lost in the weeds if you sit down and try to create an entire biography for your character. If this is what they were like when they were six years old, and this is what they did when they were seven years old, and they scraped their knee when they were eight years old. Your character, assuming your character is 50 years old, was never six years old, or seven years old or eight years old. Your character was born the moment the curtain goes up, the moment the movie begins, the moment the television show begins, and your character dies as soon as it’s over. Your character only becomes seven years old when they say, ‘Well when I was seven years old, I fell in a well, and ever since then I’ve had terrible claustrophobia. Okay?’”
The reader only knows what you show and tell them. Pretty basic stuff, and any experienced writer can construct scenes and plots and characters with that in mind. But what Sorkin is really getting at is the idea that none of the enthusiasm or insight an author has for their characters comes through to the reader unless that enthusiasm or insight is demonstrated in the same way as any other in-universe fact: showing and/or telling. In other words, if you don’t tell your readers that the characters they’re reading wrote themselves, the readers will have no clue. Obviously, cutting into your text with “by the way I’m really good at writing this character” every few lines gets old so fast it was probably never young. That’s where what I call “force-of-nature” characterization comes in.
Most, if not all of the time, exposition is done through a character-lens. In first person, that lens clearly belongs to the protagonist, while in third person it can hop around a little, but really good exposition nearly always revolves around what characters do and don’t know. So in order to make it clear to the reader how well you understand your characters, you have to make it clear how well the characters understand each other.
An example:
“Pryce Gilligan nodded wryly at the two dead bodies in the bathroom. Ellie sighed, impatient”
When I wrote this, I knew right away that this was what Pryce Gilligan would do-- how could he not? So he did. And the way it’s written isn’t altogether bad. It makes it clear to the reader what Pryce Gilligan did, but it doesn’t make it clear how well I as the writer knew that that was what Pryce Gilligan was going to do.
Compare to this:
“Pryce Gilligan nodded wryly at the two dead bodies in the bathroom. I didn’t see Pryce Gilligan nod wryly at the two dead bodies in the bathroom, but I knew Pryce Gilligan-- and the Pryce Gilligan I knew was physically incapable of not doing that. Ellie’s impatient sigh confirmed it”
Quite possibly overkill, but it gets the job done. The protagonist is convinced that he knows Pryce, and then he’s proven right. The protagonist can predict other characters like the weather if he or she knows them well enough. Hence “force-of-nature”. The easiest way to show that a character is so solid that their behavior can be intuited is to have lots of other characters intuiting it. “Martha snapped her fingers a lot” is pretty efficient for letting readers know that Martha snaps her fingers a lot. “Johnny heard snapping fingers and knew right away that it was Martha, because Martha accounted for such a large proportion of the planet’s finger-snapping that expected anyone else to come strolling around the corner would have been statistically absurd” shows the reader that Martha snaps her fingers a lot and that everyone who knows her knows that she snaps her fingers a lot which really demonstrates much more viscerally how much she snaps her fingers.
It is in this way that that first Sorkin quote comes back. “Characters and people aren’t the same thing”. Martha is not a person who snaps her fingers. Martha is finger-snapping itself. Johnny reacts to Martha with the resignation as cloudy skies and high humidity. He grabs an umbrella.
To conclude, think about Harry Potter. If you’re already thinking about Harry Potter, keep thinking about Harry Potter, but focus your thoughts on characters like Dumbledore or Hagrid-- characters who really shape the tone and mood of the books. Rowling does a fantastic job of introducing these characters to Harry, who doesn’t know them at first, by having them do lots of fun and interesting things. But Dumbledore and Hagrid don’t start becoming really deeply special until a little later, when Harry knows them well enough to expect them to be a certain way.
I had a jarring moment today when I realized that my specialty as an author is very stupid ideas very precisely expressed