you never listen

i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

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Hey everybody, I know I've been gone for sooooo long and it's killing me tbh but I moved out of home and I don't have Internet!!! Hopefully will organise that soon. Moving out is hard! I'm always so broke but now I'm closer to work 😌

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    Dakarai smiled softly as Sapphire teased back about her freckles. At the glimpse into her childhood he let his head tilt to the side before a small laugh left him. “If only I was a wizard and with a wave of my hand, those freckles would be mine.” He joked back before letting his gaze return to the menu although he had already decided on what to order. As the girl worked at tying her hair back the waiter returned to the table to check on them. Karai ordered himself a bacon avocado chicken sandwich with fries and stuck with a glass of water to drink. The waiter turned their attention to Sapphire and took her order before collecting the menus and leaving. Glancing back over to the girl, Dak noticed how different she looked in the moment. The words that left the other caught him by surprise. He let a smug smile cross his lips, “Oh yeah, of course I do.” His head shook as a small chuckle escaped him once more. “I just do what I can. There really is nothing all too great about me, Saph, but thank you.”

       “oh, dakarai, if magic were real do you think i’d still be here? in this shitty town, i’d fly far far away!” she moved her arms up beside her, swa- ying slightly, mimicking a bird. “i have always wandered what it’s like to fly. it must be free, right?” she laughed slightly at his reply to her words. “do you really think you’re average? like you’re so kind and caring and just all through lovely. the people i know, they do not compare to you. you’re special, in a good way of course. but why do you want to help me so badly?”

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    She slowly nodded along as the other explained her preference. “Wha—that’s not very fair.” A sudden chuckle escaped her, a smile remaining on her lips as the laughter subsided. “I think we need a second opinion on that. And not the opinion of your dealer. We need a third party with no biases.” She teased. 

      “it’s very fair!” she teased, smiling back at lunette. “i’ll gladly have a sec- ond opinion. who are we going to ask? like i honestly think you should quit wh- ilst you’re ahead. you aren’t going to come out on top, lun.”

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      “how about you be honest for once in your life?”

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Deepening the kiss as Cece lost herself in her mouth. The sweet girl was definitely the highlight of her day if not the week.

     sapphire tangled her hands in the older females hair, moving her mouth against hers. Her fingers gently trailed the others back. this was great. saph needed a lot of attention and cece de- finitely gave her what she wanted.

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    Dakarai pushed his lips to one side of his face as the other spoke. He did not like hearing her tear herself down. Whether it was based around her addictions, intelligence, or appearance—anything really—it was unpleasant. The man’s intentions when he said he had never seen her without make-up before had not been because she was flawed with out it. “You do have rather nice long lashes.” He stated as he opened up the menu that was in front of him. Dak’s eyes skimmed over the various dishes that Chili’s offered before glancing back over to Sapphire. He smiled softly taking note of the girl’s freckles that she had pointed out before muttering, “I find freckles charming.” With that said his eyes returned to the menu. 

         she’s silent for a while, looking at the menu. she knows she cannot stomach too much so her eyes drift instantly to the kids menu. when he spoke blue hues flickered upwards. “take them.” she teased quietly. “when you get called freckle face and get told i’m going to play connect the dots wi- th your freckles your whole childhood you won’t want them anymore!” she’s smiling. “please, dak, feel free to take them.” her eyes flick back to the menu, she sucks her lower lip into her mouth as she thinks about what she wants. “i want those little cheeseburger things, the one on the kid’s menu.” she tells him. “and a lemonade, yeah.” she closes the menu, pulling a hair tie from her wrist nd pulls back her hear, leaving out some strands in front of her ears. with her hair tied back and no make up on she looks younger, not in a bad way. she looks more her age. “dak, you’re great, you know that, right?”

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    "Yeah, we still are.“ Lunette walked beside the other, her eyes shifting between Sapphire and watching where she was going. "What about a sister? I could be your sister from another mister.” She teased.

      “i never really wanted a sister.” she told lunette, continuing to lead the way to her dealers house. “if i had a sister like i’d have someone to compete with. like what if she’s prettier and smarter and kinder. i wanted a big brother to protect me. like you can be my sister from an- other mister if you really want to be but just know i’m the cute sister.”

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“Uh, I don’t have a lot but how much?”

      “like maybe eighty?  i need to buy some groceries. i haven’t eaten properly in three days.”

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so ive been super busy, might be on tonight x

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     “i need to borrow some money.”

[angstmemes]

nightmare starters

“Wake up! Wake up! It’s just a dream!” “What were you dreaming about…? You were shouting…” “I woke up because you were screaming so loudly.” “Shh– No, no, don’t panic, love. You’re safe now.” “It was so real! I swear! He/she was here!” “I don’t ever want to sleep again. What if– what if I dream about that again?” “If you tell me, it’ll go away. That’s what my mum/dad always told me and it’s never failed me.” “Do you want to go back to sleep, or shall I make you a cup of tea?” “I don’t want to go back to sleep…” “I’m so scared… I can’t stop seeing what I just saw. It was so vivid!” “There’s really nobody here, okay? Do you need me to show you around to prove that to you?” “How do I know I’m not still dreaming? You’re acting really strangely.” “Let’s get you to the shower, you’re covered in sweat.” “There’s really nobody else here.” “You’ve got a really bad fever. That must have caused those weird dreams.” “I don’t even know what a peaceful night’s sleep is like anymore.” “I can’t do this anymore. These nightmares have to stop…” “Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.” “I can’t go back to sleep after that. I need coffee– no, I need a drink, a stiff one.” “How long have you been having these nightmares?” “I’ve had nightmares all my life, but they’ve been really bad recently.” “You get so worked up before you go to sleep, maybe you should try to relax a bit more. Maybe then you’ll get some rest?” “I’d kill for a peaceful night’s sleep.” “A dream catcher? Honestly? I’m not a child.” “Nothing’s ever helped this. I just need to learn to live with the fact that sleeping will always be a nightmare, literally.” “I’m so tired… but there’s no way I’m going back to sleep after that.”

[thisisrpstuff]

Send "It's because I fucking love you!" for my character's reaction.

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    “Thanks, it’s alright though. It’s not like you were the one who got him thrown in the slammer. Besides, I get to see him on the weekends when I have time.” She gave a small shrug of her shoulders, “Anyways, let’s get going?” 

     “yeah, i know it’s still an unfortunate situation though.” she nodded, le- ading the way to her de- alers place. “were you and your brother close? i always wanted a bro- ther.”

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    Dakarai was more than willing to let Sapphire stay at his place. Especially when she went on to say why she wanted to avoid where she had been staying. He slowly nodded along in response to her request, “Sure thing. The couch is a hideaway so it’s a bit more comfier than a regular couch. I really only have one rule and I’m sure you know what it is without me saying but, just in case, I will say it. No drugs in my home. If you have anything on you still, get rid of it, Saph. Flush it or throw it away.” With that said he exited the vehicle.

    He chose a booth that was relatively close to the restrooms. Karai was not sure how the other’s body was going to react to solid food so he wanted to make sure she was able to quickly get to the bathroom if need be. Bringing a hand up, he waved to Sapphire as she exited the restroom. “The waiter came by already and I asked for two waters and two sprites. If you want another beverage feel free to ask for it when they come back around.” He slid the menu across the table to the girl. “I think this is the first time I have ever seen you without make-up.”    

       she already had guessed what is rule was going to be and she’d happily abide by it, she wouldn’t ruin her friendship with dak, it was pretty much the only one she had left at this point. she didn’t have any on her, surprisingly, she had her stash of money away for drugs though.

        sapphire happily sat across from dakarai, she looked at him as he spoke. “no, sprite and water sounds wonderful.” she pushed her hair back, sh- aking her head. “you’re one of the only people who has recently, i try to maintain my image as much as i can. my skin is too pale and freckle-y without any bit of make up. like the only thing i like is my lashes, they’re pretty long without mascara. but i hate not wearing make up, i feel yuck.” she looked down at the menu, biting her lip.

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      “that’s mine!”

[spitfiresnake-deactivated202105]

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     ryder knew drinking before performances was usually a bad idea, but given their recent fight with sapphire they couldn’t care less. they needed something to ease their anxiety, and there she was, sitting on the shelf. a full bottle of absolut that ryder had shamelessly finished before fans started to fill the floor. it was the middle of their performance now, ryder had kept their cool all throughout the intro and the first few songs without messing up at all. but then they saw her, sapphire, standing in the crowd. and by god if ryder hadn’t downed that vodka earlier they would’ve just ignored her. they stopped singing entirely and soon the band stopped playing. when the crowd started to exchange confused whispers ryder raised the mic once again, keeping their gaze on saph. ‘ okay, i’m sorry, i gotta do this. ’ they said, chuckling lowly and setting the microphone on the stand as they pulled one of their many vending-machine rings from their fingers. they returned to the mic with a smug smile. ‘ sapphire jayde wilson. i love you. i really fuckin’ love you, you know that. i didn’t know how to show you how much i loved you when we fought, but now i get it. i’ll propose. ’ they grabbed the mic and kneeled, facing saph’s direction. ‘ saph, will you marry me? ’

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       sapphire was watching ryder’s show she didn’t know why she’d made her way into the crowd, she’d booked flights to go back home, tonight was her last night here, her flight being at seven am tomorrow.  she could tell by the way ryder was moving on stage that they’d been drinking, she knew them like the back of her hand. when they stopped the concert, sapphire frowned, wa- tching them. for some reason saph was already expecting to be humiliated in some way. saph could feel ryder looking in her direction, but knew they were looking right at her. she was expecting to be called out for being so shit. as they spoke she could feel heat rising in her cheeks, she wanted to scream, lash out. everyone near her had turned to stare at her. they all knew who she was, ryder’s fans kept tabs on their relationship, it was one of the things that made sapphire annoyed, there was no privacy.         she could feel someones hand on her back, tears were welling in her eyes. how could ryder do something so public? she can’t humiliate ryder by saying no. but they’re not in any way ready for marriage. she begins to push her way through the crowd, which isn’t hard, considering they’re moving aside for her. she’s at the barrier now. “ryder.” she mumbled, unsure of what to say or do. she can’t reach them.

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    “There are different types of intelligence, Saph. Just because mathematics is not one of your strong points that does not make you lesser than a calculus professor.” He paused for only a moment before continuing, “Same goes for reading. Yes, reading can expand a person’s knowledge and understanding but that does not make them better than someone who doesn’t.” Dak could see the mascara streaks that ran along the other’s cheeks, it confirmed that she definitely had been crying. He had thought Sapphire was but was uncertain since he had never seen the girl cry before. After she spoke up once more, he slowly nodded his head. “And you can, rest is a good thing but, can we get some food in your stomach first?” Motioning his head towards the Chili’s he continued, “You can slip into the bathroom when we get inside, if you want, and I will get us a table.”

      she nodded her head. “sometimes i feel fuckin’ stupid but...” she mumbled. she nodded at him telling her she sho- uld eat first. she nodded once more, appreciating the offer of her going to the bathroom. “yeah, that sounds re- ally good, dak.... umm, can i crash at your house tonight? i know if i go back to the place i’m staying i’ll give in to the pressure of drugs....” she told him. “i’ll sleep on the couch...” she asked softly.     once they were inside she made her way to the bathroom, scrubbing at her face with water and a hand towel, cle- aning off the old make up completely. she then made her way to the table, clean faced.