1 am

[scverna]

nothing the matter with a kiss

⛤wc: 1.5k

— rose was so incredibly, tiresomely good that svetlana could no longer deny her feelings. neither could rose herself.

time always passed unnoticed for svetlana under the strobe lights. the music had long since ceased to seem deafeningly loud, the cocktails cloyingly sweet, and the people around her intrusive and a waste of precious air. especially since today they were lucky once again: a rather remote table was available for the four of them, conveniently enough, close to both the bar for refills and her beloved dance floor.

getting together like this was a stroke of luck, almost like a straight flush or even a royal flush — almost unattainable. it was understandable— ilya and shane rarely stood anywhere but on the ice, rose was rarely even in her own clothes or without makeup, and she herself was always hanging around cars, which didnt exactly encourage friendly gatherings. of course, they always kept in touch with ilya, no matter how crazy the world was, and they along with it. and his beloved shane was now becoming more and more closely connected to her, constantly sending her charming greetings and polite inquiries about how she was doing through his boyfriend. she thought he was just sweet, but now he was beginning to open up to her much more deeply, and it was no surprise that he continued to maintain the same positive attitude and worthy of ilyas prickly, yet so tender, heart. he was a truly good man. so it was only natural that he chose a similar girl as his companion, even if she was a complete failure.

rose was wonderful. of course, svetlana wasnt a terrible person or evil incarnate either. but rose was good. and the fact that she had once so carefully and gently nudged shane that led him to happiness with Ilya, made her doubly better. and it was exhausting.

because she was so effortlessly wonderful all evening, as she always was whenever they found themselves in the same company. she complained about yet another pointless extra shoot, awkwardly scheduled into her already jam-packed schedule, and took an interest in their lives, playing the role of a sympathetic listener even in such near-impossible circumstances, always making good-natured jokes at the right time, so that no one would even think of wallowing in despondency. of course, because such a pleasant rose was there.

who so exhausted svetlana with her perfection. who so excited her.

the way she sat so relaxed and elegant on the sofa, how divinely beautiful she seemed in the most unremarkable black dress, which she carried off so well thanks to her chiseled figure, her almost innocent, heartfelt gaze, and the smooth waves of her hair, playfully tossed back to reveal the delicate necklace around her neck, the way she slowly sipped her cocktail, gradually dabbing the nude lipstick that graced her full lips with such subtle subtlety, the way she was just herself.

she was unlike svetlana or anyone else in the circles of girls she usually frequented. she was so natural and unpretentious, yet her influence and reach could easily have dominated the entire room. and it was captivating. contradictory, illogical, imprudent, but captivating.

and thats precisely why, after their two darlings had fluttered off to pursue activities she didnt want to dwell on right now, svetlana, who had abstained from alcohol that evening, offered rose a ride home. not because she was desperately hoping for something — though deep down, she certainly felt that — but because she was incredibly reluctant to leave her alone in a taxi. did she expect, as a solo driver whose salons were rarely frequented by anyone close, let alone someone of high importance like rose landry, to develop this obsession and follow it so blindly? of course not. so, despite her impulses, she remained silent the entire way home, lest she say something she might later regret. and it seemed the girl somehow nonverbally understood her feelings, because she, too, had agreed to this silence. it wasnt dry or awkward — at least thats how she felt — everything felt safe, calm, peaceful. as if they were a married couple returning home together after work.

stop. no unfounded fantasies. she shouldnt have been thinking about that.

luckily, they would be parting now, and she wouldnt have to think about rose for a few more weeks. or rather, she wouldnt have to think about her, at least not in her presence.

the car stopped in front of a ordinarily beautiful building. svetlana turned off the engine, not quite sure why, and turned to look at rose, who was already looking at her, seemingly not intending to leave. and shed been foolish enough not to push her away.

"i like your hair." after the silence that had lasted the entire drive, it was surprisingly pleasant to hear her voice. it, as always, sounded so gentle, even when she tried to prove it wasnt so by speaking a little louder.

"thank you."

"and your dress."

today, svetlana was wearing a red sleeveless dress. she was ashamed to admit it, and she would never be able to tell it to another living soul, but it had been ordered the night after their latest meeting, when rose had let it slip that she really liked red on other people after a girl in a similar dress walked past. she liked it too, of course. besides, it always served as a good excuse for having practically the only item of that color in her wardrobe.

"thank you."

from the outside, it might have seemed that she responded to the compliments with extreme coldness and disinterest, as if she was only accepting them for show, to get rid of her. but at the same time, beneath that cold exterior, her breath caught in her throat. every word the girl said resonated indecently strongly within her.

"youre very beautiful, you know that?" svetlana felt a fluttering and burning sensation inside, spreading through her heart like hot caramel. and she was so hurt by this sweetness, by the realization that she was forced to restrain herself for the sake of someone elses well-being.

"youre very beautiful too, rose." it was simply politeness, a stock answer, the kind their friendly relationship encouraged.

nothing more.

"i truly think so." and svetlana smiled just as automatically. "i like you."

the corners of her lips twitched upward in a fit of hysteria before collapsing completely. everything froze, all vital processes ceased.

they stared for a long time, their gazes fixed, unerringly finding each others silhouettes in the citys gloom.

it was difficult for svetlana to understand whether this was the truth or simply a misinterpretation of her own feelings. it was difficult for svetlana to understand whether her reciprocal confession would only make things worse. it was difficult for svetlana to remain the sole arbiter of the balance between their decisions.

but at the same time, she looked at rose, and all the complications no longer mattered.

"i like you too."

the girl across from her seemed taken aback by this. her eyelashes quickly fluttered a few times before returning to her searchingly.

"dont play with me. dont answer just out of politeness."

her captivating gaze immediately exerted an unearthly influence on her.

"i really mean it."

"yeah?"

"yeah." svetlana nodded, looking into her eyes, confirming.

for a moment, rose looked uncertainly, distrustfully, searching for a hint of condescension, but her stance changed abruptly as she approached her face, causing svetlana to flinch and almost pull back. but the girl didnt kiss. she looked at her for a long time, languidly stretching out the quick impulses into a soothing infinity. in her beautifully shimmering blue eyes, she saw anticipation, a thirst for action — everything she couldnt give her.

svetlana couldnt bear this inquisitiveness and touched her forehead with her own, looking away, giving herself a brief respite from the battle with herself.

"i really like you." she sighed. "too much for me to kiss you after so many cocktails."

she lifted her face, searching for even the slightest hint of hurt on the others face.

"but im fine." rose looked at her so sweetly from under her brows. she looked like a squirrel or something else utterly adorable.

svetlana couldnt help but smile at the comparison.

"i believe you. but i dont wanna leave you without a choice in case you suddenly want to forget about this tomorrow. i dont want us to be awkward, no matter what."

"but i like you." rose ran her hand through her hair, making her breath catch. her fingers brushed against her curls, playing with them, and svetlana sucked in a breath, unable to control her racing heart. "sometimes i think that i think about you more than any of my ex-boyfriends." she paused briefly, smiling awkwardly. "just dont tell shane, i love him too much."

the two of them burst into laughter.

"im not rejecting you, rose." svetlana was now the one stroking her hair, silently enjoying its softness and scent. "im just saying we need to talk about this soberly." she quickly saw the reflection of her inner frustration. "im not putting this all off indefinitely just to get rid of you." with this phrase, she seemed to literally stop the awkwardly sad rose, who was about to leave. "tomorrow. im busy during the day, but in the evening, if youre free…"

"okay." she replied even faster than she finished her sentence. now rose truly decided to return home, picking up her purse.

svetlana felt heavy-hearted, leaving her so sad.

"hey." she touched her palm, encircling her fingers, and brushed her warm cheek with her cool lips. "let this be a small confirmation of my words."

this made rose blossom, softening her features. now she looked like the most beautiful rose.

"see you tomorrow." rose said quietly before opening the car door.

"see you tomorrow." svetlana echoed when the girls seat was empty.

she drove away from the building, her gaze lingering on the graceful back of the departing girl. on the way to the apartment, her mind was occupied only with thoughts of how much she wanted tomorrow to end quickly so she could return once again to her beloved rose.

[scverna]

sun and moon

⛤wc: 1k

— whats behind the loving couple relaxing on the seashore?

the july mediterranean was extremely warm and welcoming to all who came to it at this time of year. the sun shone scorchingly hot, but everyone loved it for that. voices came from all directions, revealing the richness of the acoustics, and eyes, shielded by protective dark glasses, ran over the lines of the book the girl had brought on this truly unexpected vacation.

just a couple of weeks ago, she like her entire class had graduated, completing a decade-long journey by successfully passing her exams. to say she was happy would be an understatement. she saw this event as a new beginning. and she longed to enter it with the one who had left the walls of voltaire high forever, holding her hand — her beloved joseph.

the last months of intense study had taken their toll, so along with the coveted papers, they were left with intense fatigue and a desire to make up for lost time spent poring over books.

josephs fantasies led him to the idea of ​​taking a year off from school and spending it solely with each other. as he put it, they were already eighteen, and the rest could be sorted out as they went along.

for a long time, she dismissed his zeal as unrealistic fantasies, but when he completely consumed one of their evenings spent together on josephs terrace with discussing their grandiose plans for the coming year, she no longer wanted to oppose him or fate, which undoubtedly had something in store for them.

but their parents, people of business, favored common sense over fate, so expecting anything from them other than confrontation and misunderstanding was akin to believing in fairy tales about tooth fairies and coins — unrealistic and ridiculous.

and joseph had to come up with a funny little gamble for their marriage.

it wasnt real, at least because they didnt want to take someone elses— their parents — money for an official marriage, due to their remaining moral principles, and the small sum hed saved for the future was worth spending on something more substantial.

unfortunately for everyone, and fortunately for these two, their moral compass wasnt quite strong enough to lie to the poor mothers — according to both stories, who reacted with angry cries — about their wedding, which had taken place in a local church, and therefore was definitely legal. as proof, they showed cheap rings on the fingers of both hands.

neither family was overjoyed by the news that hectic friday evening, and when the next morning they found the reckless newlyweds neither together nor separated in their homes, they were at a loss as to what to do to reason with them.

fortunately, they had the good sense to leave letters confirming that no one had kidnapped them or, at least not yet, killed them, not forgetting to inform them of an unplanned honeymoon that would certainly benefit their promising family.

this, of course, did nothing to calm the parents emotions, but after driving many miles in a car bought from josephs friend from voltaire high, they no longer wanted to worry about it. after all, they had arrived at the mediterranean, on the other side of france, where no one knew them by their names, and so they could play any role they wanted. they chose, of course, the most straightforward and obvious roles, becoming newlyweds who had just celebrated their wedding in the best traditions of celebration, but they retained the most important aspect of all: they were simply a couple in love. and wherever they came from and wherever they went afterward, they were now on a sandy beach, warmed by the rays of the afternoon sun.

she settled down on the blanket shed brought from her home, propping her head on their half-empty bags. her hand, positioned awkwardly for better stability, clutched a science fiction book, which had recently caught her interest, and she was already on her third. even during their "elopement," she never missed the opportunity to pick up something to read, especially since joseph often delighted in watching her in these moments: he loved hearing her voice when he finally managed to coax her to read him at least a few pages, he loved joking about the charming way she folded her fingers to steady the book with one hand, he loved watching her twitching eyelashes as she moved her eyes across the lines. he absolutely always loved her, and he wasnt ashamed to tell her so at any opportunity.

when she paused to turn the page, she saw joseph, who had turned away toward the sea, looking utterly charming in his grace. the landscape of the small resort town and the incredibly vibrant waves behind it seemed to suit him perfectly, at least in appearance. his hair, usually a darker shade, had faded in places, which only added to his playfulness, and his skin, unaccustomed to the frequent sun, had managed to tan after almost a week of being there.

she noticed a glimmer on his bare back, immediately recognizing it as the golden necklace shed found in one of the shops on the outskirts of town — a small sun. shed found it one morning when she couldnt sleep and decided to take a stroll in an unknown direction. the extremely sweet shopkeeper, having shared the story of half her life, was so touched by it, saying it reminded her of her younger self, that she wouldnt let her go without a gift, which turned out to be that very same necklace with the sun.

and joseph, so warm and radiant, suited this accessory much better than she did.

when she touched josephs back and returned the necklace to its proper position, he turned to her with a beautiful smile.

she was extremely strict about her appearance, and even such a small detail couldnt go unnoticed. he, however, too often failed to notice anything was amiss. in this — and not only this — they complemented each other well.

she kissed his shoulder, realizing that joseph excelled at not demanding extreme perfection from everything. she had begun to learn this from him.

joseph ran his hand through her hair, flowing over her shoulders, and smiled beautifully. he touched her lips, sliding his hand along the thin chain around her neck. after her unexpected surprise, he couldnt leave her without a gift, so he bought her a miniature crescent moon with delicate stones in the center.

the sun and the moon. they looked so vibrant together, their contrasting personalities ranging from their appearance to their visions of the interior design of their future family home after their real wedding. no matter who might consider their actions overly demonstrative. they were like this for themselves, for each other, and nothing else mattered.

________________________________________________

actually this fic was written in april 2025 but it was never posted here, so i thought sometimes everyone wants smth with a warm atmosphere during endless winter

[scverna]

⊹silhouette⊹

⛤wc: 1.7k

— rafe saw dark!female!kook!reader who have arrived on the island a few months ago for the first time up close. and she was more gorgeous than hed ever imagined from her features.

rafe had been noticing that new and therefore surprisingly alluring silhouette for several months now, in completely different places. it always flickered somewhere on the periphery, but somehow, its remoteness, seemingly never diminishing, intrigued him.

so, over time, as it began to draw closer, appearing at the end-of-summer bonfire, on the beach during surf season, at the bar at a table in the corner, it began to seem as if it was present everywhere except anywhere around him.

and he knew what it was. who you were. or rather, he only knew your name. not because he was deliberately interested in it — though, if he had wanted to, he certainly couldve asked the dozens of talking mouths that had long been abuzz with any topic even remotely related to you —the information seemed to surround him.

and when rafe caught himself thinking that hed never seen you up close before — you who had unwittingly made an indelible impression on the islands inhabitants — he hadnt seen your face, hadnt heard your voice, it became his pipe dream, an obsession, something that couldve happened in a hundred random situations where you mightve met, and something he, for some reason, periodically imagined.

he didnt live by it, of course.

but when he noticed your presence at one of his parties, thrown for no apparent reason, it seemed as if the reason has presented itself. as if youd finally, without realizing it, visited all the places where you couldve met face to face without ever bumping into him, and ended up in the easiest and closest place for him, where he wasnt even looking.

and if, at the moment when his fleeting glance swept over the dark spot among the faded, natural, and unsightly, his feelings had been described as surprise, joy, or an unreasonably excited delight, it wouldve been only a tiny touch.

you were perfect. you were as he had never imagined, and therefore even better. you looked temptingly beautiful, as if you were a demon come for his soul, which he would surrender without complaint. your voice, barely audible from such a distance, seemed to drown out all others, reaching straight to his heart and healing it utterly indifferently. you were part of your cheerful group of friends, who had abandoned your in favor of some childish game, but it was as if you hadnt been with them all this time, being present only physically.

you were delightful, and rafe himself didnt know why hed been so quickly and recklessly captivated by you. he understood that his assumptions, any bold thoughts that so exalted you as perfection, could, and perhaps even quite likely would, crumble against harsh reality, which would be a bitter disappointment. but he couldnt resist himself. he didnt want to resist himself.

all he needed now was a bullet in the heart. and whether from himself, drowning in his own delusional fantasies, or from you, who turned out to be exactly what he longed to see — that was a question until he came closer to you.

and it had to happen right now. abruptly and quickly — so that hed time to drink his sorrows away in someone less desirable.

as rafe, one of the few people here holding a glass rather than something brightly colored plastic, approached you, sipping his expensive liquor so as not to feel so impatiently nervous in front of you, you stood by the door leading to the backyard, either having already returned or still deciding to escape the chaos around you, where you seemed completely out of place. you hugged herself across your stomach, resting your other hand comfortably on your forearm. you were fine. at least, thats what it looked like. you were comfortable alone, not scanning the crowd for anyone or flickering in anticipation of your friends. you were independent, and very good at it.

and even when your eyes found rafe, heading your way, looking at you directly and openly, you merely smiled slightly, causing something inside him to clench. it wasnt the gentle, shy smile that usually reached him, accompanied by the batting of eyelashes. you were confident, unafraid of your actions. and once youd made eye contact, you didnt look away for a second, as if the sight before you was nothing more than a screen with something nonexistent.

"is that really rafe cameron himself?" you feigned surprise at him, covering your face with your hand, as if you genuinely couldnt have expected it, but it was immediately followed by your disarming, mockingly calm expression. "you decided to honor my pathetic existence with your presence?"

the way you spoke in such close proximity now seemed completely intimate to him, despite the fact that there were still too many people around. he seemed completely immersed in your voice, separating you two from the rest of the world, and that felt right to him right now. he was at your power, even if you did nothing to make it so.

"you know me?" his enchanted consciousness only had the strength to form short phrases in the already-established image, while everything else was focused on suppressing the urge to remain silent and gaze at you with utter admiration.

up close, you seemed even better to him than from afar, though before, hed thought that couldnt be true. but it was you who had made his brain flow so unconditionally even in your brief presence.

you were perfect. he was ready to repeat it over and over again, even if he himself didnt know what exactly you so perfectly matched.

perhaps that was all you were — not matching, but simply being yourself, which made everything both worse and better for rafe at the same time.

"who doesnt know the greatest…" you gaze swept over his face, your head shaking back and forth, as if searching in him — or in yourself — for some reason to continue that conversation. "idiot in all of kildare."

"the great one, huh?"

he heard you what call him perfectly clearly. and if it had been someone else, someone whose name or status wouldnt have been a factor before they were thrown out, he wouldnt have been so carelessly indifferent. but you could say all sorts of nasty things to him — it was in your nature, it was part of why he knew he had to approach you. that was you.

"'idiot', yeah."

another smile. that faint, barely visible smile, but more smug than any other. you looked happy that you werent falling for him. as if you knew you were good at it.

of course you were.

"wanna drink something?" rafe absolutely didnt want to take his eyes off you, much less go anywhere, but the desire for you to stay longer, until the supposed excuse of the alcohol hed brought separated them, was too strong.

"no, thanks, i dont trust shady characters."

"you afraid ill poison you?"

"im afraid you wont give it to me and just drink it yourself." and you laughed at him — so clearly that you eyes sparkled with pleasure, making your gaze even darker, even deeper.

you didnt need him. the thought of possible contact with him had never crossed your mind. and most importantly, he felt like he didnt care. whatever you did, whatever you said, rafe could surely remain the most attentive spectator of that show of you for the rest of his days, even if it meant never participating. he wouldve been fine with that. anything, as long as you were the star.

he smiled at you, unable to contain his impulses. he directed his chuckle, which had escaped without reason, so as not to embarrass you, toward the floor, which he immediately wiped away with a thumb across his lips, either from the itch or from a barely perceptible desire to force himself to stop glowing so absorbedly before you.

rafe was at the bottom, where only you could reach him with the bright sun. so, if he thinks about it, was it really so terrible?

"you know why i approached you?" you remained silent, as if youd completely forgotten his presence, engrossed in his endless attention, considering anything happening outside the window more worthy of your gaze. "because youre the most beautiful and interesting girl here. you seem different."

"boring… couldnt you come up with anything more interesting than compliments?"

"i did, but i dont think i wanna do it without your consent." your pupils disappeared behind your eyelids as you rolled your eyes.

you werent interested in rafe. not actively, thats for sure, which you were eager to show. but you were still there. and if you — especially you— had wanted to finish with him as quickly as possible, he wouldnt have interfered in any way.

but you were there, still. and that was too reassuring for him.

"cute."

"whats 'cute'?" you frouowned, drawing your brows together, and raised one incredulously.

"youre like… a hedgehog." and when you snorted again, folding you arms across your chest, he was even more convinced. "covered in needles, so much so people cant get to you. i dont know if youre like that with everyone or just me…"

your laugh, short and quiet, was still just as caustic and condescending.

"good, mister empath, what else can you tell me?"

"i think its easier this way — not to trust anyone. so that no one hurts you again, so that you dont get burned by the wrong people."

youd been completely emotionless and motionless that whole time.

"i need to call my psychologist and tell him i no longer need him. now i have…" and only your eyes, looking down at him, could convey something that wasnt reflected on your face. "doctor cameron."

even that seemed somehow worse to him than the bullet in the heart, which hed taken, absentmindedly spreading his arms wide.

"so am i right?"

"and very self-assured, too."

rafe smiled at you. more sincere, wider, more open, as if he now saw no point in hiding, having been irrevocably killed by your unwavering hand.

"i like you."

"its nice we disagree on that." your mockingly cheerful smile was the brightest thing that could be said about you. you glowed a burgundy-red against the backdrop of all the gray, the way the living world around you had begun to feel unhealthy.

"wanna go hang out with me?"

"hmm, let me think…" you finger touched your chin disinterestedly, hitting it a few times, and your eyes averted in a pretense of thought. "no, i dont think so."

the cup dropped from your hand onto the nearby table, and you left your place, quickly moving away from rafe.

"but were still going on a date." but his voice, precisely aimed at you, was heard.

you turned around again, showing him your image before the unknown and therefore infinite amount of time ahead for the last time.

"yes, maybe in your wet dreams."

then you left, as if youd never been there.

and rafe smiled, because hed understood at least something in his life. all this time, he missed you, even if it meant had lead in the heart, somehow continuing to move even faster.

you were a ray of light in dark shades, fearless equality, and someone who hadnt yet even realized your power over him.

[scverna]

⊹crybaby⊹

⛤wc: 1.2k

— female!crybaby!reader didnt like to cry, but the emotions that constantly overwhelmed her werent as fragile as she was. she didnt want anyone to see her in grief, but rafe came home, and the tears on her cheeks hadnt dried.

you often found yourself crying for completely undeserved reasons, whether it was a long-awaited meeting with friends, the end of which always left you with an inner nostalgia that had yet to be substantiated, or a rather insignificantly sentimental scene with a girl and a cat from an old movie youd watched alone one night. tears always, without your consent, would sting at the corners of your eyes and beg to be released, and you could do absolutely nothing about it.

and now you were once again completely caught up in that terribly regular annoyance, without any understanding of why exactly.

sniffing your probably red nose, you rubbed your probably red cheeks and brushed drops from your probably red eyes. you tried to compose yourself, not wanting anyone to see you in that state. not because you generally avoided moments when you might be caught in tears, but this had to be at least something more… serious? worthwhile?

all those moments of your excessive emotionality, caught by people, were condemned by them, if not out loud, then certainly in their thoughts — you could read it in their sullen, distrustful glances. and now, every time you wrapped yourself in such prickly and unbearably painful embraces of melancholy, you were afraid of being seen.

but it had been extremely hard to hold on since moving in with rafe. and it wasnt him, of course not — he was as wonderful, kind, and gentle with you as you had ever felt in him. the whole problem was you and your sensitivity, which sometimes couldnt care less about who you were being treated with. you wished hed never seen this whiny, unflattering side of you, but when you, huddled on the living room sofa next to a pile of paper napkins scattered across the coffee table, heard his incredibly sweet and warm voice, the one he always used to announce his return, you realized it wont happen.

at that moment, you shamefully dreamed of disappearing from the house, despite a deep, visceral understanding that such concealment couldnt build a trusting and healthy relationship.

so you didnt move when your beloved rafe, walking a short distance down the hallway, saw you half-disheveled hair from behind the sofa. you were silent when he touched your head, his hot lips lingering on the crown, and silent when he sat down next to you and anxiously took your hand.

"whats wrong, baby?" his tone was cautious, careful, and slow, as if he was trying not to startle you. that made your heart want to melt even more, turning into a barely noticeable puddle on the floor.

but even so, you hesitated to look him in the eye, as if embarrassed by how unstable you were.

you felt rafes gaze on you, knowing that anyone could judge you, but not him. but because of that, the inevitable barrier, clearly felt somewhere in your throat and below, didnt go away. it was hard for you to admit your emotions to yourself, and especially hard out loud to anyone.

"nothing." you kept fearing your voice would waver, betraying your already obvious instability, but years of convincing others you had no capacity for tears had taken their toll, so it was only slightly quieter than usual — so that almost no one would notice.

but rafe noticed. the same way he could notice everything about you.

"but youre crying…" his fingers ran over the thin skin of your wrist, brushed the vein with a soberingly pleasant movement, and then returned.

"its nothing, dont worry." you sat motionless, trying not to attach any significance to your state.

but most likely, after so many years spent with yourself, you had truly stopped paying so much attention to it.

"talk to me, i wanna know about this 'nothing.'"

maybe you really wanted to tell rafe the reason for your tears. and maybe, as terrible as it sounded, you wished it were something like the death of a loved one or the pain after a surgery. then these feelings wouldnt seem unnecessary or wrong.

but in contrast, it was just lines, just words…

rafe continued to look at you — directly, inquisitively, the very reason you had once loved him. no one, including yourself, had ever seen in you what he saw.

and as he slid his hand along your thigh once more, you realized youd wanted to share it with him.

"i have a favorite heartbreaking song…" you paused, quickly looking up at him, as if expecting instant laughter, condemnation, or something of the sort. but he remained silent, listening intently, and infinitely understanding, which was exactly what you needed. "its about a love thats ended. and i know that its someone elses love, i know that maybe its not true and just lyrical characters… but every time it turns on, i feel so sad about it. because i imagine these heavy feelings… yeah, its all incredibly stupid, if only because it doesnt even resonate with my life, but i cant… turn off my feelings…"

you weret a vampire with an emotional switch, you werent the most stable person, and that was something you had to deal with every day. at times, you grew tired of it as much as of any routine that had become an integral part of your life, but you still couldnt do anything about it. and the vast majority of people hadnt previously seen that as something special about you. it was always just another reason to feel sorry or underrate you.

and you didnt want to see misunderstanding, even from rafe, as the one who was practically alone in seeing your layers overlapping like stained glass, creating unimaginable new shades. who saw you as multifaceted and real.

"its okay that youre more sensitive than others." his voice sounded like a simultaneous relief and peace. "its good, isnt it? you have a wider range of emotions. you feel differently, unlike most."

"sometimes its unbearable…" and you were still a little disgusted that your eyes were clouded with tears, held together only by your own efforts.

"yeah… but youre better at letting your emotions out. you wont be overwhelmed."

rafe had always seemed incredibly sweet to you — and he seemed so now. you probably knew from the start that he wouldnt say anything bad to you, even if he thought it. but the way hed stared at you the whole time, and the pureness of his gaze when you looked up at him, no longer looking down, said it all.

rafe loved you. hed accepted you as you were, crooked, flawed, imperfect from the start, and he still did.

the love, rushing too quickly, brought tiny tears to your eyes, which were probably already devoid of any trace of your morning mascara.

"god, i must look really bad." through a quiet smile, a persistent ache in your soul, you tried to fix at least something, even though you knew it was a futile endeavor.

"well… you look pretty…" rafes eyes tactfully tried not to look under yours. "dramatic. but youre still the most gorgeous girl ever."

he hadnt let go of your hand the whole time, but when it was time for you to calm down, he moved closer, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

and most likely, that snow-white shirt would never be the same again. but you were willing to waste anything while you languished in rafes embrace, so all-encompassing and tender.

"you need anything for your makeup? or you wanna cry a little more?"

your laugh, quiet but already rooted in something other than the lump inside, sounded somewhere near his chest, where you rested your head, listening to the rhythm of your beloveds life.

"i think im okay. thank you."

"youre welcome, beautiful." a kiss on your hair prevented you from looking at him completely skeptically, doubting the seriousness of his words. "im not joking."

and as proof of that, he touched your lips, which had already found his a second earlier.

[scverna]

Hiii! How are you doing? Are you ok? I miss your writing so much!!!

oh hii! first of all thank you for enjoying my fanfics!!! its very nice to hear

and im fine actually just you know this university year is pretty... hard. im trying to write as much as possible but sometimes even well sleeping sounds like a dream for me hehe

but yeah i hope this week ill upload something!! thanks for your question <3<3

[scverna]

⊹just to hear you breathe on the other line⊹

⛤wc: 0.5k

— you and ex-bf!rafe took a break that was never meant to end. but you were everything to each other — your first real kiss, your first real partner, your first real lover. and none of that was forgotten, no matter how much you might want it.

when you uttered that phrase in a terrifyingly calm voice, the world ceased to exist for both of you for a second. rafe looked startled, frightened, speechless from bewilderment, and you, having cried all your bitter tears shortly before, tried to restrain yourself, knowing it was for the best. for whom exactly, you didnt know, of course, but ultimately, you needed to convince at least yourself. with time, you would truly believe it, consider it all with a clearer mind and a less troubled soul, accept it as events of past days, and therefore less painful, and finally forget about each other as anything other than valuable experiences.

but several months had passed since your 'lets take a break', which sounded like 'lets break up forever', and things werent getting any easier. the wounds bled, no matter how they were treated, and when it seemed you were ready to recover, to stop thinking about each other daily and hourly, on the darkest nights life once again reminded that you couldnt be rid of each other so easily.

you understood that rafe wasnt the best person, no matter how enveloped you were by that unearthly feeling that — you were tragically sure — you couldnt experience with anyone else. rafe realized that your relationship with him was causing you more harm and heartache than you deserved.

but no matter how much you wanted to, you couldnt leave each other in the farthest reaches of memory. you were each others first love. whatever you had before — it wasnt even close to what you had experienced together. everything was wrong until 'you' came into your lives.

therefore, when you lost 'you', two huge symmetrical holes appeared in your chests, blown through and seeping through, especially noticeably with the onset of dusk.

and thats precisely why, when you saw a number on your phone screen for the first time in an unbearably long time on that particularly difficult evening, you knew who was calling and who you would picked up without complaint or hesitation. you werent hurtfully blocked from each other, your contacts werent dryly deleted, and your previous pet names werent torn by the lingering pain of the past. your past.

when you picked up the phone, rafe was just as silent as you were.

it happened over and over again, several times a week, sometimes several times a day. you said nothing to each other, listening only to your breathings — ragged at first, then steadily quiet. because from a distance, there remained the feeling that you could allow yourselves it, that it wasnt something unacceptable and selfish, causing you both to suffer, that it shouldnt have been nipped in the bud long ago.

you tried not to attach too much importance to it. you didnt tell your friends about your unfinished 'communication', didnt even touch on the topic in your thoughts, tried to pretend that your days werent spent between 'get-togethers' — just as your had been so long ago, at the very beginning of your relationship.

but it was as important then as it was now.

and the quiet 'hi' from rafe a few weeks later, which had so frightened you, became something you couldnt even imagine, but which ultimately became the most significant event for the new 'you'.

________________________________________________

⛤omg one more fanfic inspired by song. this time it is 'my house is warm' by sombr!

[scverna]

⊹unless i beg you to⊹

⛤wc: 1.2k

— female!reader and rafe had always been just 'friends'. of course they were. but it was hard to stay in that relationship when a recent passionate kiss had awakened feelings that had never before enveloped her.

to rafe, you were always just a friend. anywhere, anytime, at any moment in his life — you were always there, unprovoked, ready to comfort him when he was being destructive to himself and others, or to have fun with each others completely stupid behavior.

and, of course, you were friends. you didnt mind that status, pleasant and trusting, knowing you could always ask rafe for help, just as he could ask you.

but when you often found yourselves in each others arms, seeking peace, when you said goodbye, kissing each other on the cheeks, your lips lingering under each others cheekbones, when he wrapped his arms around your waist, floating among his many acquaintances and friends at any event you happened to attend together, you began to doubt your understanding of your relationship.

but despite your thoughts, you always remained 'a friend' to rafe.

maybe you were imagining things. of course, you werent omniscient and could very well have seen things that werent there, hoping for something that would have been your own problem.

but the party at which youd kissed, completely unintentionally, had completely confused you.

you were his 'friend', but hed spent the entire evening with you, openly, touching lips when he sensed with incredible precision the need of your still-unconscious mind.

hed shown no hesitation in his actions then, but for over two weeks now, he hadnt shown up at all, even though the places where youd once met were the same.

something was wrong. you felt wrong. as if you were just a sweet candy, something that could be forgotten after a cloying aftertaste.

you waited, being as patient as you could, ignoring the obsessive thoughts that had been swirling in your head all days. but rafe was still gone, as if hed suddenly become permanently calm and no longer needed you in any way: not as a friend, not as anything more.

and when rafe — after dozens of calls and messages, to which he responded shortly and only to let you know he was alive — finally showed up on your doorstep, you were completely beside yourself.

and all you could manage, before the emotion completely overwhelmed you, was to sit him down on the living room couch. but even that left you on edge.

"whats going on?" you couldnt bear the silence that filled the room when the routine questions about your well-being ended.

"what do you mean?"

he looked straight at you, unwaveringly, but you didnt find in him the emotion youd hoped for in your wildest dreams.

"between you and me." you felt as if rafe, who had never before allowed himself to behave disrespectfully toward you, was truly mocking you. "we havent really seen each other lately." because how could he feel nothing at all?

you didnt want — or were afraid — to admit to yourself that it might all have been simply impossible, unrealistic, and unachievable. that all those days youd been torturing yourself in vain.

"ive been busy, couldnt even catch my breath."

it was extremely hard for you to pretend his unusually dry answers didnt hurt you, but you still tried to remain calm and reasonable.

"i think youre avoiding me, and its not about business."

"youre overthinking."

"im overthinking?" you were so tense you were tantalizingly close to hysteria.

"sometimes."

"so, everythings the same as before?"

"were fine." and rafes unimaginably calm demeanor now didnt even anger you, it upsetted you.

how could he be so incredibly indifferent to you? after your friendship. didnt you deserve at least a word that hed made the wrong decision and didnt want to continue anything with you? even that — as bitter as it was to admit it now — wouldve been easier than the uncertainty and anguish.

"just 'fine'? and everything that happened between us… lately... it didnt happen? did i imagine it all?"

and rafe remained silent, looking at you.

"answer the question so i dont live in illusions any longer. anything, im ready for anything."

that was only a partial truth, in no way diminishing the destruction that would occur within you if you heard 'no'.

just two weeks ago, you couldnt have imagined that all your days would converge on suffering over rafe camoron, that you would want to be with him, that you would desire his love.

it hadnt even crossed your mind once until that evening. yes, you were close friends who loved touches, but feelings were out of the question.

as it turned out, you simply never thought about it. until the moment after that evening, when you found yourself alone at home.

and after two weeks of reflection, you now knew exactly what you wanted.

all that remained was to find out if rafe wanted the same.

"were good together, arent we?"

now you were silent. it seemed like torture to you.

"maybe i should beg you?" after so long, your voice seemed so weak, close to breaking.

"what are you talking about?"

"i dont know, maybe it will at least move things forward, and youll admit something to me or yourself." you looked down at your nails, pretending it was the most important thing in your life right now. "call me your girlfriend, call me baby… what should i do?" you finished, almost whispering, as if you werent sure you should say it.

a treacherous tear rolled down your cheek.

"baby…"

you rubbed your skin, not wanting to provoke pity.

"no, dont say that. dont say it if you really dont mean it."

the last thing you wanted was to force him into anything with you emotionality.

rejection was okay, right? the main thing was learning to accept it, no matter how hard it was.

"i understand that weve been very… close lately. and i really enjoyed it all." your sighs were quite painful. "and i still do. its just complicated, you know?"

your state brought a quiet laugh.

"whats complicated? we kissed. it wasnt a dream, we werent drunk. not so drunk that we couldnt process it all. you didnt run away then, we sat together the whole night. whats 'complicated'?" you managed to raise your eyes to him and look, as if you didnt want to hide now. "im not a child, i can handle rejection, just make the effort to say it out loud."

"there wont be a rejection."

"what?"

you suddenly ran out of breath, and your heart, too quick, began to pound in your chest.

"i just did something stupid. i was busy, and i really wanted to talk to you after that. im sorry i didnt do that sooner and made you doubt my feelings."

his hand touched your fingers, lying motionless on the fabric of the coach, and ran over them.

"that kiss wasnt something unserious for me. i really wanted it. and i want it. i want to be with you."

catching your gaze, utterly hopeful, rafe pulled you toward him, sitting you on his lap. he wrapped his arms around you, cupping your back, and ran his hands over the skin hidden behind the fabric.

you were still somewhere else.

you looked at him, not believing that it was actually reality and not your imagination.

and when he touched your lips, kissing you, you shuddered slightly.

just like the first time.

"no more 'friends'?"

you kept trying to catch him out on his deception, on his desire to agree to you only out of fear of upsetting you, as if you were the most fragile vase in the world, unable to withstand even the slightest touch.

but his gaze was as pure and calm as if you had never parted after that night, having drifted endlessly into timelessness.

"only if friends in a relationship."

________________________________________________

⛤inspired by line in 'toothache' by westislonely!

[scverna]

⊹i love my hot girlfriend⊹

⛤wc: 1.1k

— when it came to female!pogue!reader, bf!rafe was even willing to wear t-shirts with questionable prints.

when, on an unimaginably rainy day, you rode unannounced to tannyhills on your bike, ignoring rafes protests about not calling him to come over, and handed him a box wrapped in wrapping paper and covered with the useless but utterly charmingly shiny stickers you so adored, he was very surprised to find a t-shirt with the words 'i love my hot girlfriend' on it. not because youd called yourself 'hot' — because, to be fair, you deserved it in every sense of the word, and he couldnt argue with that — but because of the stylistic decision itself, which was… not his style.

and he mightve been willing to argue about his need for it, if it werent about you who has been borne through the downpour, soaking wet, and despite everything, shining as impossibly brightly as before. therefore, any complaints he mightve had were pointless.

he was willing to wear it anywhere if it meant seeing you happy. but the unknown status of your relationship, declared private and undisclosed, wordlessly, without discussion, jointly, and without any particular reason, somewhat curtailed the variety of his wardrobe, limited to a single top, preventing him from wearing it anywhere but at home, forcing him to pay attention to his clothes before going out.

but, frankly, rafe, who 'loved his hot girlfriend', and the 'hot girlfriend' herself, were perfectly happy with everything.

you spent days in each others company, comfortably confined to quiet conversations, cuddled in each others arms, completely unconcerned with any social interactions. you were happy together, undisturbed by anyone, and as long as you had the opportunity to be alone, completely unnoticed by the world outside the cameron estate, you made good use of it.

that continued until one lazy, warm day, when a voice rang out in your house, seemingly from a past life where everything seemed so utterly wrong without you, topper, being there. he was extremely persistent in trying to find rafe, but at that moment he was preoccupied with not wanting to respond to his friends cries.

"topper isnt my wife. what closet you gonna hide in?" your whispered argument mustve seemed utterly ridiculous from an outsider.

he understood that your agreement to keep everything unspoken and undisclosed to others was still intact, but having imagined a similar situation before, he saw nothing terrible in anyone finding out about you. he didnt care about other peoples opinions, or their possible grievances, because what mattered to him was you and what was between you two. and that was more important than any social position.

"im not ready to meet your friends! no, no, not now. we were just cooking dinner — i dont look right, i dont feel right!"

but you were genuinely panicking about it, fussing about what to do, which rafe couldnt blame you for.

"baby, youre incredible, what are you talking about?"

you kept trying to escape from his arms, wanting to run away, to disappear, before toppers gaze caught up with you — pogue who 'forgot something in his friends house'.

and so, not wanting to see your suffer, he decided to help you by keeping 'you' in secret, at least for a little while longer.

"ill meet him and get him out of here as quickly as possible, okay? no meetings until youre ready." rafe leaned toward you, looking into your eyes. seeing a brief nod from you, he headed toward the living room, where, judging by the sounds, topper was. "if you want, you can hide in the bathroom. ill call you, and well continue peacefully cooking, yeah?"

without waiting for an answer, knowing it would be 'yes', he headed toward his friend, who immediately greeted him with understandable indignation.

"and im happy too youre shouting in my house on a quiet weekend, top." but rafe was even more indignant than him.

hed already begun to forget what topper looked like. it had been so long since hed seen his once-best friend. and he mightve considered himself a bad person if he hadnt completely lost himself in one particular girl, currently locked away in the bathroom somewhere, to the exclusion of all other interpersonal relationships that held no meaning at the time.

but rafe quickly remembered him from the cheeky grin that had appeared the moment he appeared in front of him. and he wasnt looking at his face, but lower, at his chest.

at his t-shirt. at the print on it, glowing so brightly in red and white against the black background.

he didnt want to believe youd hidden for nothing now, letting him get caught so stupidly, but that was exactly it. and the only thing he could do was continue pretending that nothing had changed in his eternally bachelor life, and that everything written on the fabric hanging on his torso was just a ripple in toppers eyes that needed a medical checkup.

"how long have you been taken?" there was no need to ask what he was talking about, but his finger still lazily pointed toward the t-shirt.

as rafe rolled his eyes, all he could think about was how to act like an extremely offended loner so he could quickly get back to the kitchen, where youd left the half-chopped vegetables for your favorite stew.

"you want something, or you just annoying me?"

"you just havent been around in a while. i was wondering where you were…" toppers gaze swept over him again, as if his friends relaxed expression could truly make him doubt his sanity, but then the illusion vanished, revealing his efforts were in vain. "turns out you were just busy with someone."

"im fine, and if you dont mind, id like to be alone." rafe said completely unwilling to fall for his provocation, wanting to keep you unknown for as long as you wanted.

and even if it took an infinite lifetime, hed surely find you a very cozy little house on the edge of the world.

the smile on toppers face said he was leaving you. but only for now.

"okay, i wont disturb you." rafe caught his eye just as he approached the exit. "let me know when you want to announce her name to everyone."

he watched his retreating silhouette until he heard the sound of an engine starting.

a soft knock on the bathroom door and the long-awaited release.

"youre free, and your identitys unrevealed." rafe kissed the top of your head as you left the room.

"god, how did topper manage to pick a day when we were home alone? and even the t-shirt..." you poked at one of the letters on his shirt, as if you were offended by it.

"as if you werent the one who gave it to me…"

"i thought it would be funny to see it on you… and now i feel a little awkward because i seem self-absorbed." you stared at the t-shirt for a long moment, then shook your head. "throw it away, i dont wanna see the traces of my shame."

"no way, i want everyone to know who im dating." you stared at him, raising one eyebrow, as if you genuinely didnt know how delightful you were to him. "the sexiest girl in the world, can you believe it?" not a lot of people even get chance to see you, and then i…"

"oh no, shut up…"

and rafe could have complimented you too much, making you feel embarrassed, but you cupped his face in hands and, rising on your tiptoes, kissed him passionately.

________________________________________________

⛤sorry for rare updates, universitys killing me :(((

[scverna]

⊹princess treatment⊹

⛤wc: 0.6k

— they were at a restaurant that evening when they were caught by surprise by a pouring rain, and bf!rafe, not wanting female!reader to get cold, was absolutely charming.

when you and rafe left the restaurant, where youd had a wonderful time, absorbed only in each other for a couple of hours, seemingly disconnected from the world and therefore oblivious to what was happening outside, you immediately noticed the rivers left on the pavement after the rain had stopped. the weather had been poor, but for local residents accustomed to such periodic mini-apocalypses, it was quite common.

of course, you felt uneasy stepping into the freezing water in your sandals, but the impermanence of life in kildare had long since taught you to ignore such trifles.

so you wanted to continue going calmly and unperturbed to your car, parked in the lot.

but rafe, for some reason, had stopped you almost immediately after you stepped over the restaurant roof, and wouldnt let you go any further.

"you cant get through."

he looked at you very seriously, as if he was preventing you from making the biggest mistake of your life, blocking your path.

"why not?"

and you truly didnt understand what the problem could be.

"you might get your feet wet. i dont want you to get sick."

she found rafes care extremely touching — your beloved always worried about you so sweetly, even if sometimes, like now, it wasnt worth it.

"ive treaded waters worse than this. everythings fine, lets go. car is right here."

you took his hand, caressing his knuckles as if trying to reassure him that everything was good, that holding his hand for your own stability on the slippery asphalt in your heels was the most you needed.

but even so, your boyfriend refused to go, weighed down by his own thoughts.

he didnt think long, haunted by his own worries, and then, as if nothing had happened, he lifted you into his arms, very carefully catching your legs and holding your back.

"rafe, what are you doing?" you managed to suppress a very loud and completely inappropriate cry and wrapped your arms around his neck, not wanting to hang helplessly on him.

rafe would often carry you in his arms when he really didnt want to let you go, especially if you threw yourself at him. but your shared tender outbursts, where you could spend hours together, only happened quietly at home, when no one could see your fragile union. and being so close to your beloved, surrounded by so many people trying to escape the same puddles, especially in such a position, was a little… awkward.

"carrying you to the car, isnt that obvious?" but rafe was extremely calm in what he was doing.

"its hard for you, you might slip." you tried your best to persuade him to lower you back down to the ground, especially seeing all the looks you received from passersby.

"you see me struggling? well, neither do i." and indeed, he beamed quite brazenly, beautifully, confidently when he saw your embarrassed.

and all you could do to hide from those inquisitive and slightly surprised gazes was hide somewhere in the area of ​​his neck, burning with discomfort and the opposing warmth that spread across your chest every time rafe did something like that.

which was to say, too often.

you kissed his sharp jaw, caressing his skin. you focused on your love, not on the couples leering at you, the grown men in suits, or the women with children.

"feels like everyones looking at us." you couldnt help but say, closing your eyes and brushing your warm lips against his cool cheek once more.

"baby, theyre jealous." he said, and he, as always so acutely aware of you, was able to calm you so easily.

when you reached the car, rafe very carefully placed you in the passenger seat.

"thank you, mr cameron." your tone playful after the kiss hed reserved for you.

"anything for you, mrs cameron." he could practically see the urge to protest in you, which he immediately stopped you from. "the future mrs cameron, okay?" his gaze didnt leave you until you nodded in agreement. "then well settle on that. you cold? need anything?"

and you looked deeply, long, penetratingly into rafes eyes, already seated in the drivers seat, so he understood exactly what you meant.

"I already have everything."

________________________________________________

⛤inspired by really cute tiktok

[scverna]

⊹i like the way my bedsheets look on your body⊹

⛤wc: 0.9k

— it was female!readers first time spending the night at the home of such a gentle bf!rafe, who made her offer right in bed.

the suns rays, sneaking in through the unwisely opened windows, woke you a little earlier than your usual sleep schedule dictated. it was very early — unacceptably early for you — morning, but the overwhelming urge was impossible to resist, so you had to open your eyes, if only to make the room dim and get back into bed, which felt especially inviting now.

suddenly, you remembered that you werent home, causing the natural light to shift its usual position. rafe slept next to you, his expression completely devoid of his usual seriousness, who was the reason youd woken up in a strange bedroom.

today was your first night at his place. of course, youd visited their family estate before and even occasionally spend in it the evenings in the arms of your beloved, but you never stayed until morning, always driving by unforeseen circumstances. yesterday, the stars, finally restored to their blissful order, allowed you to stay with rafe, who had once again offered to stay with him and no longer hoped for a peaceful time.

but there you lay in bed, warmed by a single blanket and the single sun that fell on your face and on his back, turned away from the uncurtained window, completely unprepared for a new day that would mean returning to all the problems of your lives.

you didnt know if the alarm had rung or if you had even set it, but with eyes closed so peacefully across from yours, you really wanted not to ruin your little world, which had ended beyond the bed, even if it meant canceling all your plans for the day.

you stared at rafe for a long time, taking in his entire face as if you hadnt gotten used to it in a long time, focusing especially on his beautiful, light, bleached-out eyelashes, which seemed unrealistically long, testing their appearance to the point of an irresistible urge to touch them.

and you couldnt resist it, running your fingertip through the hair follicles, a decision you immediately regretted when you saw his eyelids flutter, slowly opening a few seconds later.

"sorry…" it was too late to reflect on your rash behavior.

rafe seemed to ignore that brief apology entirely, not at all angry at you for waking him up.

"how long have you been awake?" his gaze flitted between your irises, darting from one to the other with exquisite charm, causing his own to dart wildly.

you could only shrug at his question, knowing you could lie there like that for a very long time, unaware of the passage of time.

but rafe seemed satisfied with that answer. he was still half asleep, which couldnt be blamed. not when he was trying so hard to appear cheeful — even if he clearly wasnt — which you found too charming.

you smiled at your beloved, as you would have smiled at him in any state. but that was the first time youd seen him like that, which made him special.

and rafe, who had never seen you sleeping, especially sleeping at his place, couldnt get enough of you either — otherwise there was no explanation for the piercing gaze directed at you.

"i like the way my bedsheets look on your body, you know?"

even under normal circumstances, you often found yourself lost under the gaze of his piercing blue eyes, but under those ones, which were bound to happen sooner or later, when you didnt feel perfectly beautiful when he said such things to you, you felt downright awkward. it made you want to hide.

and you hid, pulling the blanket up to your head, needing a respite from his gaze.

"dont look at me like that." your voice was muffled by the heavy fabric clutched in your hands.

"i cant help when you look so incredible."

his words made you feel embarrassed, but the pleasant feeling that settled in your chest, the feeling that you were in the right place right now, made you want to never leave.

after a while, you felt touches pulling the blanket off you. rafe lay before you — still as he had been that morning, charming and beloved. he smiled at you so familiarly, yet so new, so different, that a piercing longing arose in your heart, transforming into a passionate embrace into which you joyfully dove, as if that were all he could have been waiting for.

his arms gently encircled your palms, his chest, slowly rising, brushed against your back, and his lips whispered incredibly meaningful nothings, kissing the skin behind your ear.

for a long time, the only sounds cutting through the silence of the room were your soft breathings.

"i dont think i can imagine mornings without you now... looks like youll have to move in here..." rafes voice was calm, completely at peace.

and even so, you pulled away to look at him, as if searching for a hint of amusement in his appearance.

"youre kidding, right?"

but everything about him made it clear he wasnt mocking you. certainly not now.

"im serious. move in with me."

you lay down on the pillow next to him, staring piercingly at the skin around his bare collarbones, doing nothing, thinking.

and rafe didnt bother you, didnt interrupt your thoughts, didnt pressure you in any way.

and when you raised your eyes to him, everything was already clear.

"can i?"

a happy smile lit up his face, causing you to shyly look away, as if you hadnt just made the decision yourself.

"of course, baby. just tell me when to pick up your things, and this house is all yours."

you clung to him, your face glistening like a cat, only to be encouraged by rafes kisses all over your skin.

"i love you."

"i hope your feelings arent just based on your newfound living space." your gaze, reaching out to him, was utterly stern. "im joking." rafes wide smile touched you, feigning offense, lingering on your lips. "i love you too."

and you were only too glad when he wrapped his broad arms around you again, covering you both with the blanket, further delaying the start of the new day.

________________________________________________

⛤inspired by line in role models "hello!". love his songs so much!!

[scverna]

⊹she smelled of daisies⊹

⛤wc: 0.3k

— bf!rafe wasnt a fan of scents, but female!reader changed something in him.

rafe never liked any kind of smells, he was never the kind of man who would be attracted to the perfumes of girls passing by. no matter how varied they were, they all always seemed too pretentious to him, flashy, not leaving him alone in the worst sense, like any irritant.

but that was before you appeared in his life.

when you came out of the shower, completely insignificantly, accidentally sliding past him, your hair, thrown back, radiated freshness, purity. and when you sat down at the dressing table, rafe, wrapping you from behind in his arms, buried his nose in your strands, feeling this tenderness, while not smelling of anything specific.

your shiny face after all the care products became a combination of something unobtrusive, almost natural. by applying body cream to yourself, you gave the whole room a sweet aroma of cocoa beans, which felt especially delicious and sweet when he kissed you smooth skin.

on your dry hair, you distributed oil, which had an extremely pleasant smell, which remained for a long time on your fingers, running over his face.

rafe had never seen you wear any perfume, always saying it was 'not your thing'. however, even without a scent with a name, you were a small cloud of very light currents that together formed your aura.

and its fluffy volume wasnt felt very clearly. it was all felt only up close, which made rafe, no matter how much he resisted his narcissistic urges, feel special. because it meant that that unique, captivating scent could be felt only by him. and it was selfishly pleasant.

as intolerant as he had been of scents all his life, he liked that trail in the air every time you appeared next to him, smiling sweetly and not even realizing what changes you were the cause of.

yes, perhaps he couldnt be objective about you. but in the end, it concerned you first and foremost, and only then some smells.

[scverna]

⊹drawing rafe⊹

⛤wc: 0.4k

— one day artsy!female!reader gave in to her desire by drawing bestfriendsbrother!s1!rafe, and she couldnt stop.

you loved to draw. the story of your relationship began, as with many kids, at a very young age, when even the most insignificant blots were appreciated by the enthusiastic reviews of others. but time passed, and pencils, crayons and paints didnt leave your hands. and now it wasnt a matter of the desire to draw something aimless, but with an obvious bright appearance, no. now it was all about feelings, the impulse to remember something, to rub it into memory and heart forever.

you could never have imagined that the object of any of these options would be rafe cameron, the older brother of your best friend.

it was an ordinary sunny weekend spent by you in tannyhill, when you first saw in him not just a person with a reputation not worthy of trust, but an image with a breathtaking view. it was embarrassing, awkward, uncomfortable, and all the other synonyms that didnt reflect your feelings after your hands had frantically scraped the pencil across the paper as sarah left you for more drinks, alone with a half-asleep rafe lying away from your lounge chairs.

and it wasnt that he was doing anything special that inspired you. on the contrary, he was doing absolutely nothing that he hadnt done before. and that was even worse.

because he was simply sprawled out on the softly cushioned wooden furniture, his face exposed to the sun. but the way the warm rays streamed across the profile of his face, the way he seemed to barely move, overcome by a midday slumber, the way his chest rose and fell, rarely but strongly, indicating that he hadnt slept, knocked the wind out of you a little, forcing you to pick up the sketchbook you had grabbed from home out of habit and just in case.

but that occasion had happened then and had happened many times since that moment, when you had finished that drawing, hastily closing it as if it had never existed.

because now it was your secret, hidden at the bottom of your bag, and a completely unhealthy addiction.

you drew rafe. a lot. too much. watching him from the living room as he ate breakfast, seeing him in the heavy strain of his conversations with ward, sitting at the other end of the second-floor terrace when topper and kelce came to visit him — he was a wonderful muse to you in any situation where the circumstances allowed.

did it become wierd for you to catch yourself looking at him even without the intention of touching the paper? yes.

but it was as if after so much time spent paying close attention to his appearance, you had finally seen his insides.

you had seen how empty he came home the morning after parties, how he barely contained his anger when sarah dared to speak to him, how he shook and wiped his wet and hopelessly sad eyes when he left his fathers office. his feelings and emotions were so blatant that you couldnt imagine how you hadnt noticed them right away.

you knew you could see into rafe much more deeply, could get to know him better than the average outside observer.

and the worst thing was that you really wanted to.

[scverna]

⊹the bill⊹

⛤wc: 0.4k

— female!reader wanted to help bf!rafe pay the bill.

when the server at the restaurant you had chosen for friday night brought you the bill, rafe was on the phone, talking about business even though it was his day off. he had tried his best to keep the family business going since wards death. for you too, since the least he wanted to give you was the best.

of course, you tried to be independent. at least so you wouldnt have to constantly feel helpless from being dependent on someone. off-site events, where you occasionally worked as a bartender, didnt bring you much money, but it was enough to live on.

it would have been enough if you had paid for at least something in your relationship with rafe, always being stopped by your boyfriend in any attempt to swipe your credit card or count the cash.

sometimes you tried to pay for something again. and even if you failed again and again under rafes too-persistent gaze, you at least got rid of the feeling of awkwardness that haunted you because of the happiness you felt you didnt deserve.

and today, when he took his wallet, counting out the cash, you also decided to take out yours, hoping for the sleepy attention of your boyfriend, busy with a phone conversation.

but, as soon as you pushed a few banknotes towards him, the look of surprised rafe, who immediately told the person with whom he had been talking for some time that he would call back later, made you understand that you had failed to be unnoticed.

"what are you doing?" he nodded towards the money lying next to his hand.

"helping you pay the bill."

his eyebrows moved towards the bridge of his nose, showing bewilderment with a slight shade of displeasure, as it always happened in such attempts of yours.

"we have some kind of problem with money?"

"no. well, i hope not."

"then why? its your money, it should stay with you." rafe put all the money hed handed you on your side of the table, but you put it back on the bill.

"but i dont have any part in our finances…"

"is that a problem?" seeing your pitiful, pleading eyes, his tone changed, noticeably gentler. "baby," he sighed heavily, as if he was truly tired of explaining the most basic truth to you. "i want to spend on you. as much as i want, whenever i want. all the money i have and will ever have, okay?" rafe tilted his head, searching your face for any sign of disagreement.

but again, you were just embarrassed that you were dating such an incredible man, while in no way deserving it.

"okay."

and it seemed that he was just waiting for this short, quiet answer from you, immediately pushing several banknotes towards you, which had doubled in quantity since you gave them to him.

you wanted to object to this, but rafe didnt let you do it.

"and the fact that you spend my money turns me on. just so you know…"

and after that, he barely held back a satisfied smile, seeing your silent embarrassment when the server came to take the bill.

________________________________________________

⛤inspired by that cute tiktok trend with couples

[scverna]

⊹plushy⊹

⛤wc: 0.3k

— on lonely nights, female!reader hugged the teddy bear bf!rafe had given her.

when you climbed into bed, you immediately took the plushy sitting in the corner of your bed, next to your pillow. you made yourself comfortable with it, so fluffy and neat, wrapping your arms around it and waiting for rafe, who didnt always go to bed before you.

you always needed these important, intimate, personal moments before bed, when you wanted to hug your boyfriend endlessly, burying your nose in his neck, wanting to feel his touch, wanting to feel him next to you.

but he couldnt always give it to you — it might not even be because he was busy, although in most cases, of course, this was the main reason, but because of his banal prickliness, which arose due to very large irritants. during such periods, rafe, no matter how much he didnt want to, understood that it was better for him to cool down alone, so as not to unintentionally offend his beloved.

so, after one of those 'inappropriate' evenings, you were given a teddy bear — a good size for you to transfer hugs from the absent boyfriend to that toy miracle, smelling deliciously of his perfume, applied to it, and specially matching him with its light brown fur. that bear was the best possible replacement for rafe.

but not the ideal option. of course not.

even the look of his sweet round eyes wasnt like your beloved blue ones, not to mention how much more pleasant it was for you to just feel your beloved next to you. soft fur couldnt even come close to comparing to the warm skin of rafe, lying down next to you, small paws didnt resemble hands that tremblingly and carefully pressed you to him, and lips made of thread never had a chance to compare with those that kissed your hair, behind the ear and on the cheekbones.

each time like that, he, tenderly holding you, showed that he really missed you — as if he hadnt seen you for several hundred years, and not just a few hours.

and unfortunately, no matter how much you loved his plush version, he always returned to his usual place, giving up his attention to the real rafe, while you melted under the touch of your dear body, hugging you from behind.

[scverna]

⊹through a cigarette⊹

⛤wc: 1.2k

— at a party at the camerons house female!kook!reader looked for a place to be alone, but found rafe smoking.

you had always loved parties for their easy, casual atmosphere. they could be filled with all sorts of things, but in the end, in the morning, when the sun was shining on the landscapes of the entire island, they no longer mattered so much, as if everything were just the nightly fantasies of a sleeping brain.

and you had always been open to them — the very interesting adventures and problems that often happened when many kooks gathered in one place.

but now, as you moved further and further away from your best friend and the whole group of friends of that day, wanting to be alone, you didnt mean any reason for it. it wasnt some special feeling, with a name in itself, driving you… you just needed solitude now as much as you needed the fresh night air of kildare.

so you wandered around the second floor of the house, looking at all the rooms for the absence of people. you reached the end, completely losing hope of being left alone, but still opened the last door leading to the terrace.

the possibility that it was unoccupied seemed almost comical to you, unreal.

"sorry, didnt mean to disturb…" and yet, when you saw someones back, you involuntarily twitched, wanting to close the door behind you and continue searching.

"theres a lot of space here, you wont disturb me." his voice was definitely familiar to her. "you can stay if you want." and when its owner turned in your direction, everything became obvious.

of course, it was rafe cameron. what else could you expect from the one who had directly threw this party? he could be in any room, and it shouldnt be surprising — this was his estate, after all.

and yet, finding him alone, without the company of topper, kelce, barry, or one of his other hundreds of possible friends, seemed at least… wierd.

"wheres your friend… whats her name… jenna? julia?" rafe waved towards the couch not far from him.

"judy."

it would be completely unwise to refuse the offer of the host of the party. especially if it was cameron. you doubted that he could throw you out or do something worse, but still, you didnt want to anger him. so you sat down on the couch next to him.

after all, no one was taking your air, and you could breathe next to rafe.

"right." he snapped his fingers, as if all this time he really was trying to remember the name of your friend. but his face was expressionless. he wasnt interested in it at all. "where did she go? why are you alone?"

only now did you notice the cigarette resting between his fingers. he touched lips, taking a drag, which made the previously barely noticeable flame burn a little brighter, illuminating a small area of ​​his skin, making its shade so warm against the dark and cold night that you involuntarily stared at it, soon awkwardly catching yourself openly looking at his face.

"shes with her boyfriend. the tall one who was in sarahs class, you know? and i…" you quickly and awkwardly lowered your eyes to the floor, so as not to be tempted again by the opportunity to look at rafe smoking, and as best you could, without knowing why, you came up with an excuse for yourself. "i wanted to get some fresh air."

"youre weird." rafe looked at you, who raised your head in confusion, raising an eyebrow, as if he was surprised by his own phrase. "you came to the party to eventually run away from everyone."

"as if i wasnt the one who found you here, alone." you smiled at him good-naturedly.

you werent trying to seriously hurt him, of course not.

"in the end, i threw all this, right?" his tone was no less mockingly mocking than yours, and his head was crookedly tilted in your direction. "the host of the party cant proudly walk out onto the terrace before anyone has time to stick their nose in here? huh?"

"well, ive already 'stuck my nose in'." you shrugged, as if to show that you were ready to leave at any moment.

"dont worry, im not talking about you. you dont irritate me."

you were silent for a while, first trying to understand the reason for rafes indulgence towards you, and then actually supporting the established image and not disturbing him with your presence any longer, so that he wouldnt regret his decision later.

he turned to you again when he had only half a cigarette left.

"you smoke?"

"i dont know, never tried."

"how sweet… youre just the most innocent lamb." there was the same grin in his voice as before. "you wanna try?"

you didnt know why, but at this very moment in your life, which didnt have nicotine in its conscious form, you wanted to know how it felt.

you just wanted to stand next to rafe, in silence, united by the only thing you had in common, other than that terrace and that night.

then he opened a pack of brand that you couldnt figure out at all, but then he clicked his tongue, showing you its contents - inside the cardboard box there was only a lighter.

"shit, i forgot about that. how awkward… i already suggested it…"

again, completely unfamiliar impulses and decisions led you, getting up from the sofa and pointing your hand at the cigarette clutched in his fingers.

rafe only grinned at you, but didnt resist and gave it to you.

you didnt know how to smoke at all, but it was too late to retreat, so you tried to do something that was at least outwardly similar to that process.

you brought the cigarette to your lips, immediately inhaling and tasting the menthol. you tried to breathe it into you lungs, to really feel what made others smoke. what made rafe smoke.

"what a bad guy rafe cameron is — ruining such a good girl."

and it seemed like you were really starting to get something. but the feeling passed too quickly when you coughed, finding yourself in a cloud of dissipating smoke.

smiling, rafe took the cigarette from your hands, immediately snuggling up to it himself.

"not about you, huh? at least there wont be another sin on my soul."

you wanted to say something that would justify you again, even though this was only your first — and now definitely your only — experience with smoking, but the door behind you opened, immediately revealing to you all the loud sounds you had managed to hide from until then, only now a voice calling for rafe was added to them.

the two of you turned around at the same time to look at the one who had interrupted you. barry, holding a beer in his hand and chattering on and on, looked from you to him, as if he didnt understand what you were doing there together.

after listening to his entire speech, which you had successfully missed, being in some incomprehensible bubble of disappointment that you had been interrupted and the desire to quickly run to your friend, pretending that everything that had happened here was the most ordinary stupidity, rafe kicked the guest out, after which he nevertheless began to pack his things.

he put the empty pack in his pocket, first taking out a lighter from it, and went to the door, never turning around in your direction.

well, that was even better.

"do you know what just happened?" you didnt expect at all that he, apparently overwhelmed by barrys words, would want to talk to you again. "i kissed you through a cigarette. its called an indirect kiss, right?"

you stopped, staring straight at him, because you didnt understand what he said at all.

"what?"

it was like some kind of game, the rules of which he forgot to tell you, so he was the only one having fun.

"consider it just a prelude. nothing serious yet…" the smile on his face shone brightly until he almost completely disappeared into the room. "dont sit here for too long, its getting too cold."

you were left completely alone, nevertheless deciding to return to those miserable fences, where literally just now you had just smoked one cigarette with rafe cameron for two.

you stopped looking at one unknown point when the time on your watch was already approaching morning. but the last thing you wanted at that moment was for what had happened between you and rafe that night to cease to matter.

[scverna]

⊹pictures⊹

⛤wc: 0.3k

— one day female!reader began to notice pictures of herself placed in different places around bf!rafe.

ever since you started dating rafe, youd started finding pictures of yourself all over the place. one with a note youd once left for your boyfriend wishing him a good day, youd noticed pinned to the visor of his car as hed driven you to your parents house in the morning. another one of you dancing carefree with your friends at a party, oblivious to the camera, had once appeared in a frame that was just like your style on desk in his office. another one, one of the hundreds youd taken in photo booths, youd caught a glimpse of when hed pulled out his wallet to pay at a shop.

it was obvious that rafe had them there on purpose.

when you asked him why he did it, hed said that sometimes, when he had a hard time tolerating someone, hed look at you, even when you wasnt there, and remember who he wanted to be better for, which made the whole impossible situation that much easier.

you found this confession charming and warm - even his attempts to control himself, especially because he was thinking about you, warmed your soul very much.

so you were only too happy to do something to help your beloved, sometimes leaving new pictures for him, where it could be you alone, kissing the camera lens, or the both of you, photographed by your friends hugging at the most imperceptible moment, in the pockets of his shirts or on the kitchen table for him to see.

and rafe, not always used to open displays of affection, said nothing to you about it. but every now and then you noticed that those pictures would appear in other places: on the fridge, lost between some funny magnets from breakfast cereal and the next days grocery list, on the mirror in your bathroom, right above a small artificial plant, and under his phone case, along with a pressed flower you had given him on one of your walks.

and you never stopped taking more pictures of each other in completely different locations and circumstances, so that later they could appear in more and more routine places in your lives, simplifying everything with the distance, if only from the knowledge that you would meet again in the evening and love as much as ever.

[scverna]

⊹rafes ring⊹

⛤wc: 0.3k

— female!reader had always been especially fond of the large gold ring on bf!rafes fingers.

you didnt like gold in any form. something about it never pleased you enough to admire it even a little. but even with such an attitude towards this precious metal and jewelry made of it, you couldnt help but notice that beautifully iridescent ring with the letter 'с' on rafes left hand.

you could easily get used to your strange addiction on it. especially since rafe didnt mind it, allowing you from time to time — after your silent attempts to remove the ring from his finger — to hold it. of course, it didnt suit you even half as well as your boyfriend.

no one could wear this pretentious, very large and noticeable ring the way he did.

there was something magical and mesmerizing about the way he did it. the way he twirled it on the table, which you found especially beautiful, the way he moved it around on his fingers when he was nervous, the way he washed with it hidden in the foam, the way he slept with it out from under his pillow. it was literally a part of him.

it was their family ring, the one ward had given him on his fifteenth birthday, when he was just about to become an adult and start getting ready to take over their business. but it had been the wrong time for it, and the right time had only recently arrived.

and rafe always said that after everything he had been through, it mattered to him.

and you were also very important to him. maybe now even more than the ring.

thats why he once ordered an exact copy of his ring for you, the one you loved to touch so much throughout your relationship. only your version was made of silver that you loved more and a couple of sizes smaller.

when rafe gave it to you, he convinced you that it definitely wasnt an engagement ring. because otherwise you wouldnt have accepted it, thinking that it was still too early for 'you'. of course, it wasnt that kind of ring because it wasnt enough to ask for the hand, heart and the whole endless life ahead of such an incredible girl like you. but it certainly meant a lot. it showed his intentions, which were more serious than anything else for you.

and the silver ring with the initial of your future last name engraved on it, shining on the yours middle finger, reminded you both of this every time.

________________________________________________

⛤lately im kinda obsessed with all this jewelry theme...