Connor Murphy

Connor Murphy. 17. Senior at Stagedoor High.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Realizing he was crying, Grantaire desperately wiped at his face, only for blood from him nails to smear across his face. He sighed, “Connor… I am sorry… I went too far, and I overreacted without hearing you out.” The world held its breath as Grantaire held out his hand to Connor, “from one fuck up to a slightly better fuck up, I’m sorry. Wanna actually talk this out?” Did he believe what he was saying? Only some of it. He didn’t believe he overreacted, but he did believe that this was the right thing to do, and he knew that he should start doing that sometimes. Maybe it would bite him in the ass, Connor had already proven that was highly likely, but at least then he’d have an excuse to not like Connor other than, “he’s scarier than the thought of my future.”

He sniffled. Great. Now his damn empathy was making him cry in front of Grantaire. He sighed. “Fine. Fine...let’s talk.” It couldn’t hurt. Actually it could. It could hurt him in a million different ways. But right now Grantaire was offering and it would be rude to not accept it. He sighed again. “Do you want to go back inside the school, or do you want to walk and talk? Or something.” He carefully folded the paper and put it into his pocket. He would finish it later.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

We need to talk. Now.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-enjolras‌:

For so long, Enjolras had always been willing to put himself at risk for the sake of others. Had he been completely honest with himself, he’d have had to admit that for a while, he had no intention of making it to the age of twenty. He had to go somehow, he figured, and with all the hurt in the world, there had to be sacrifices. But reality hit him hard at that protest. Recovery had been annoying at best, and hellish at worst. And that was just a concussion. What was going to come next? How much was he really willing to sacrifice?

Enjolras went quiet, his eyes darting to the floor and his arms wrapping around himself. 

Connor felt his entire body tense up. It still felt bad. All of it. But he couldn’t see insisting that to Enjolras doing any good. At all. So he sighed. “Hey...hey. I won’t get in the way of anything. I promise.” He fidgeted with the ends of his sleeves. “Do you...do you want to hang out or something soon? You can just come over to my house and we don’t have to talk about this at all.”

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire followed the sounds of cursing echoing through the halls, when he found Connor he looked worse than normal. His hair was sticking out, his chest was heaving, and he was frozen in place. “Connor?” Grantaire called softly, “Can…. can we talk? I’m real sorry about yelling at you..” He wished Apollo had just picked anyone else to befriend, he was going to hug Enjolras so much later, out of anger, obviously. He started subconsciously picking at his nails, ripping them off, along with some skin.

He hadn’t realized that he had begun talking to himself. He swore that he had only been thinking those curse words, not saying them out loud. But apparently he had been. “No. I don’t want to talk to you. You’re not fucking sorry. No one in this damn school, in this damn town, is fucking sorry for anything they do. Ever.” He snatched the drawing out of Grantaire’s hand. That was for Evan. No one else should be touching it, ruining it, because that’s for his friend. 

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire stood there for a second, he’d defended JD because Enjolras loves him, but he’d hurt Connor. His heart raced for a second, ignoring his better judgement, he grabbed the tree and ran after Connor.

Where the fuck was Zoe. Where the fuck was Zoe? He needed to go home, now. When was fucking band practice done? He could feel his entire body locking up. Soon he wouldn’t be able to hold his ground against the waves of anxiety and anger. Fuck. Fuck!

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire took a step back, tears pricking his eyes. “Connor?” His voice sounded as small as he felt.

In a flash, Connor bolted from the room. He needed to get out. He needed to go home. He needed to be up in his room, where he was safe, where people would leave him alone. He felt like he was about to explode. Or die. Or both.

Alone on the table, the sketched tree sat, forgotten.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

We need to talk. Now.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-enjolras‌:

It wasn’t the way he felt. Not really. He was terrified of JD. But, if he told Connor that, it would make everything so much more complicated. He’d made his bed, and he had to lay in it.

“JD’s been struggling a lot, at home. His dad is…well, he hasn’t given me any specifics, but I think he’s really fucking abusive. He needs help…”

Connor felt his stomach begin to turn. “Then he needs to get help from an adult. The police. A teacher. Anyone. Not you. All you need to do is tell a teacher, fuck, or something. You need to keep yourself safe...do you understand?” he asked, his voice falling to a barely-audible whisper.

[sdhs-jared]

[Text from Connor] ...who's that guy with Enj?

[text] some new kid, apparently

[text] Jason something-or-other

[text] I think I heard someone call him JD

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-jared‌:

[text] will do. see ya then

[text] bitch ;)

[text] : *

[sdhs-davey-blog]

The Locker - Open Starter

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-davey‌:

“Pfft why’d you think that I thought you were gonna hurt me I totally wasn’t thinking that.” Davey joked, ignoring how his voice was shaking. “Anyways, uh sure. Talk away.” Hopefully Connor was one of those people who didn’t like JD, otherwise Davey was about to get beat up for talking bad about JD. God he was nervous.

He sighed. “I don’t think Enjolras should be anywhere near JD. I don’t think JD should be anywhere near anyone in the school, to be honest.” He sighed again. “I’m scared that he’s going to hurt someone. Maybe himself. He’s too...close, to Enjolras. And I don’t like it.”

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire yelled, “Connor stop! Stop it!” He ran at the taller boy and grabbed his hands, noticing how sweaty his own were, “stop it!” He had to ignore his own terror, if Enjolras liked Connor he had to at least try, right? “Connor! Please!”

And then someone--Grantaire?-- was holding his hands. Cold sweat. Oh my god. Oh my god no. Oh my god no. Yelling, and he couldn’t make it out. It was Grantaire but...was it really? Tears streamed down his cheeks. “No! No! Let me go!”

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire looked at Connor desperately, “I know. And and… I don’t think he is… Connor, Connor JD…. I think…. I think… Apollo… I’m sorry,” his breaths were short and shallow, he looked like a cornered animal.

Connor’s eyes filled with tears. Grantaire looked like he was having a panic attack and it was all his fault. Because of course it was. It always was. His hands shot up to his hair and he began pulling at it. Go away. Go away...

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌: 

Grantaire started to sweat, he felt bad, should he feel bad? “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just, I’m sorry,” his voice was high and cracking. “I just… JD doesn’t seem like a bad guy, and… Apollo loves him so, I care about him too. I’m sorry.”

Connor wanted to break his gaze with Grantaire. He wanted to but if he didn’t who knew what would happen? “...I think...I think Enjolras is in danger, with him...,” he whispered, voice barely audible. He felt his throat tighten. No, no, he wasn’t going to fucking cry at school. Do not fucking cry, useless shit.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

“At least my judgment has evidence!” Grantaire yelled, unsure where his anger was really coming from. Sure, he was pissed at Connor, but normally he’d just ignore it and drink, Connor scared him too much for him to do anything. “For once in your fucking life Connor, look at yourself before you give the rest of us hell. The rest of us are people too.” Grantaire stood, grabbing all his things, he needed to leave and fast. What if Connor hurt him? He knew the kid was prone to violence when angry.

Connor tensed up immediately. What the fuck. What the fuck had he done wrong?! He must have done something. But whatever it was it wasn’t good. He mentally did a quick run through of the conversation. He hadn’t insulted Grantaire. Or Enjolras. The closest thing was JD. He wanted to bolt. But his body stayed rooted to the spot. His voice died in his throat. 

[sdhs-connormurphy]

The Art Room

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-grantaire‌:

Grantaire didn’t know why but, he wanted to defend JD. That was the love of his life’s boyfriend, only he could make fun of him dammit! He coughed, still not meeting Connor’s eyes, “You know- for a person who cares about representing the mentally ill community well, you do a piss poor job. And yeah, JD is an edgelord, but you’ve made a snap judgment about what his life looks like without knowing anything about him. People deal with trauma in different ways,” Grantaire would not admit he knew what happened with the knife, it wouldn’t help him, but he did mostly believe what he was saying. Connor wasn’t great representation either, and he should stop pretending he was.

“I’m not trying to represent the mentally ill community. I’m just trying to make it long enough to get the fuck out of here.” Besides, he didn’t even know if he was mentally ill. He hadn’t been diagnosed with anything. But he felt like there was something there. “At least I’m going to therapy, actively. And anyway, don’t give me the snap judgement speech. People make snap judgments about me all the time, and they always have. You’re doing it right now.” He paused, brushing some eraser flakes off of his drawing. “I know.”

[sdhs-jared]

[Text from Connor] ...who's that guy with Enj?

[text] some new kid, apparently

[text] Jason something-or-other

[text] I think I heard someone call him JD

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-jared‌:

[text] never tried it but i’m down

[text] cool. get soda to mix in. see you friday, thot ;)

[sdhs-connormurphy]

We need to talk. Now.

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-enjolras‌:

“He…he does seem different now than he did at first. Really different.” Slowly, Enjolras pulled out of the hug and looked up at him. “It’s like he flipped a switch and became another person. And…the knife thing was kind of terrifying, but…I don’t think I’m in danger with him, really.”

Connor looked down at Enjolras, and for a moment the thought flashed through his mind that he was small as hell. If anyone wanted to fuck with him it would be too easy. He sighed. “I...well, I don’t believe you. At all. But if that’s the way you feel I can’t make you feel differently. But please be careful.”

[sdhs-jared]

[Text from Connor] ...who's that guy with Enj?

[text] some new kid, apparently

[text] Jason something-or-other

[text] I think I heard someone call him JD

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-jared‌:

[text] anything you want

[text] as long as it’s not super illegal

[text] all I’ve got is rum and weed

[text] as long as you aren’t afraid of the devil’s lettuce.

[sdhs-davey-blog]

The Locker - Open Starter

[sdhs-connormurphy]

sdhs-davey‌:

Davey was, without a doubt, terrified of Connor. “Yeah sure, whatever you wanna talk about sounds great sounds good.” He hated how his voice shook clearly giving off the fact that he was intimidated. He took a deep breathe. “Sorry, just stressed. What’s uh, up?”

“Shit. Sorry about that. Do you need anything?” He heard the shaking in Davey’s voice. It was obvious. He sighed. “Look...I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to talk to you about Enjolras.” He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought of what to say. “And JD.”