The Seattlish Guide to Your Ballot, August Primary 2017 Edition
GUESS WHO’S BACK, BABES? Well, not really. But we did want to take some time to help out with yet another massively massive ballot.
**real-time footage of Seattlish creating this document**
With conservatively a zillion candidates in a couple of these races, we knew there was no way all three of us could come to a consensus. Instead, we’ve decided to show you how we’re voting, what we think, and what we think you should know. So for each race (Seattle only! We’re humans!), we’re going to tell you a little bit about who we like and why, as well as who we don’t like.
Each of us has been involved with these races in some way or another and has a lot of information to share—which means you may not agree! And that’s fine! To be honest, that’s your right and honestly we don’t care so please don’t bother chiming in to tell us why we’re wrong because it will change exactly nothing. If you want to make your own guide, go for it! Tumblr is free!
So anyway, here’s what we think about each of these races. Below you’ll find a scorecard (which show who we strongly like and who we strongly dislike) and some notes that we left on our Official Google Document™:
Mayor:
Hasegawa:
“I struggle with Bob’s car-centric approach to city-building and believe we need a mayor with an economic AND planning vision that prioritizes innovation.”
“I think his critiques of transit planning and their impacts on communities of color are valid but his tactics are shitty (cosigning with transit-killing republican bills, etc). Also, vapelord.”
“I agree on the validity if his critiques. If ST built light rail through my community knowing FULL WELL based on their own projections that it would result in dozens of people I’d be furious too.”
“Bob is an extremely good long-time civic leader with lots of reasons to respect him and I’m actually just really pissed he isn’t running against Bruce Harrell because I would love to have Bob on the Council. I have not yet been convinced that he would necessarily be right for Mayor, though.”
Moon:
“Cary Moon as mayor would set Seattle apart on an international level as a City dedicated to smart, equity-driven policies that charge a bold vision for our serious urban and economic issues. She inspires the heck out of me.”
“TBH Moon is my dream pick for mayor and I think she has the smartest, most detailed policy plans and would have the most impactful first 100 days out of any of the candidates.”
“I really like her ideas, but one hesitation I have with Moon is that I’m not 100% sure of her ability to work with existing stakeholders on Day 1. She’s released a lot of statements that are vague and not particularly inspiring (to me) and that sound very unilateral. We already know how that kind of leadership works (it doesn’t).”
Durkan:
“Look, we have a lot of amazing people in this race and none of them are Jenny Durkan so just not Jenny Durkan is really what I think.”
“I will never forgive her for the way she targeted occupy protesters in 2012.”
Jessyn Farrell:
“Jessyn is smart, savvy, and affable. She’d make a great mayor.”
“My only concern with Jessyn is she tends to compromise too much.”
“^^^I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THAT.”
Mike McGinn:
“Mike is fine.”
“I think Mike has spent a ton of time in the last four years listening and learning from people. His tax plan is not only smart, it’s also extremely actionable. I love an income tax as much as the next gal but I also know the single most pressing issue we have is out lack of revenue and all the new ideas in the world won’t mean a damn thing without more money.”
“We like Mike!”
Nikkita Oliver:
“I really wish she was better on density, but I also think that many of her issues that rub folks the wrong way—neighborhood councils, SFZ—come from an intention of rebuilding from the bottom-up instead of the top-down. (Although it hasn’t hurt her in terms of garnering NIMBY support.) Regardless I like her a lot and I think she listens well and listens honestly. I’ll absolutely give her a checkmark. I also think she’s very crucial to holding other electeds accountable on equitable HALA implementation, police reform, etc. She’s also cutting through a ton of political cynicism and making people give a fuck, which I will always support.”
“First and foremost, I give her huge applause for challenging Ed back when that wasn’t the popular thing to do. That takes courage. I’m impressed with her ability to get folks behind her; her supporters are passionate in a way that is really exciting. Unfortunately, the Mayor’s job is kind of a paper-pusher and I don’t know that that is where that passionate is best utilized. I’ve also seen a lot of her messaging as very much targeted toward convincing people that her platform is right, rather than making her platform appealing and relevant to a large number of people. I would actually disagree that she listens—I don’t see a lot of shift in her messaging, and instead, see a lot of defensiveness when it’s challenged. And like, again, we know how that goes.”
Seattle City Council Position 8:
Strong:
“I’ve seen her speak now several times and she is really a lot more centrist than she’d like you to think. Anti-density, anti-homeless, “pro-business.” She also doesn’t seem super-firm on a lot of the policies her opponents have proposed; she mentioned in one forum that “a head tax would absolutely kill small business,” though the only head tax I’ve heard proposed would be applied to companies over 500. She strikes me as very much of the same that we’ve had on Council for a bazillion years and I’m not into it.”
Goueli:
“Hisam brings a unique perspective and experience informing policy proposals around public health, equity, and community firmly grounded in empathy and compassion. I want to see SO MUCH MORE of him in the future. Also he is very handsome.”
Grant:
“TBH I don’t see what JG is bringing to the table that we don’t already have.”
“And also is discriminatory in the workplace!”
“Yeah we don’t have to settle for a false ally—JG’s views are mainstream enough in this race that we ESPECIALLY don’t have to settle for a false ally.”
Pantoja:
“This dude is a dangerous and sanctimonious asshole.”
Nelson:
“It is my strongly held opinion that Sara Nelson is temperamentally unfit for office.”
“I haven’t heard any original ideas from Sara. The Seattle Times’s “balanced” is anyone else’s “will do exactly what the Chamber tells her to do.” In addition to just fundamentally disagreeing with most of her positions, I think she’s incredibly uncreative.”
Secrest
“I’ve seen Secrest speak in Chambers many times and she is extremely passionate and smart. I’ve always liked her energy, and her supporters have been pretty great when I’ve run into them at LD things, etc. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s running a campaign that can keep up with this race.”
Mosqueda
“Teresa is amazing for this role and I want her for it. She has actionable ideas and her background in labor and public health would be a refreshing change on the Council. She also is surrounding herself with some of my favorite people, so I trust that the right folks have her ear.”
“Teresa is going to make an incredible City Council member and I think that all of us will be made better by her leadership on affordability, wealth, and equity. Also FFS can we PLEASE get a renter on the Council?”
Seattle City Council Position 9:
González: Just swear her in already.
City Attorney:
Holmes:
“He’s fine, although I hope he has some regrets about the tunnel. He was cool during marijuana reform (opting not to prosecute pending misdemeanors, etc).”
“I wanna see more from our Community Courts, Mental Health Courts,a nd LEAD programs though and expect PH to be pushing HARDER for funding and prioritization of those programs. I also want Pete to come clean and finally admit that he and Rick Steves are the same person.”
“His Facebook photo was of him and a beagle making the same face for a long time so that is kiiiiiiiind of enough to get my vote. JK also he is a p good City Attorney.”
Lindsay:
“Fuck this guy. Scott Lindsay is callous af.”
“Fuck him all the way.”
“SKIN SUIT.”
Port of Seattle Position 1:
Querido-Rico:
“Bea really impressed me when I met with her. A lot of cool ideas, including some really innovative ones about how the Port could be instrumental when the ~Big One~ hits.”
Creighton:
“A fucking dirtbag. On the dole in a big way, rich dad, no work ethic. Ew.”
“Also an alleged stalker.”
Calkins:
“Love this dude.”
“He might come off as mild-mannered but he’s feisty and informed. Also, so yoked.”
Port of Seattle Position 3:
Abdi:
“Dude is amazing and would represent a huge shift on the port.”
“Totally agree. We need Ahmed’s voice and representation.”
“Have met him multiple times IRL and he is great. Can’t wait to vote for him.”
Port of Seattle Position 4:
Persak: “I remember when Persak ran for City Council! Longshoremen do not fuck around. I liked him then and I like him now.”
“I like either of these two; Persak is a former longshoreman and a pretty good candidate. Preeti is also awesome.”
“I’d be fine with John again.”
Steinbrueck:
“Oh my god, Pete, just retire already!”
“Remember when Steinbrueck wore that magician’s outfit for candidate survivor”
“There is a part of me that will always be seduced by the Steinbrueck charm and general wonkiness but I’m still going to vote for Preeti.”
Shridhar:
“Preeti is smart, experienced, and has a dope quity lens for Port issues. She’s done her research and is ready to go.”
School Board Position 4:
“Eden is very intense but I think she’ll be awesome. She’s been doing the work in Oly for years and she knows what needs to happen here.”
“Yeah, she’s got it.”
School Board Position 5:
Helmstetter:
“Andre is quite dope. Have seen him talk at the LDs and he’s very on-the-ball. Definitely a champion for equity and also just a real nice-seeming dude.”
Vasquez:
“NOT OMAR. The KCYD endorsed him because he lied to them about his charter school shit. He sucks. Not him.”
Pullin DeWolf:
“Can we talk about the fact that the School Board has never had an out LGBTQIA member? ZPD will bring a REALLY important perspective and set of experiences with his know-how of low-income and renter communities and the ways in which schools can/should be supporting their youth. I’m all in on Zach.”
“ZPD is one of my absolute favorite people in the entire state. His empathy floors me every time.”
“Folks are skeptical about the idea of having someone on the school board who doesn’t have kids, but I think that’s kind of ridiculous because it basically says that only people WITH kids should care about schools. Literally no. Schools are part of the economic pipeline that impact all of us, and people from all walks should have buy-in, especially when they have a perspective (queer, Native) that’s so different from the traditional school board membership.”
School Board Position 7:
Byers:
“Chelsea is the only one who’s even really bothered to mount a campaign so I’m going with her. She’s fine.”
“A lot of folks are #teambetty but frankly I think Chelsea is the only one showing up to talk about her platform and I think she’ll be great.”
KC Sheriff:
Urquhart:
“Boy, bye.”
“What if we threw all alleged rapists and part-of-the-problem dudes out of office in 2017 #matriarchy”
“GTFO, John, I’m over you.”
Johanknecht:
“Mitzi has dope plans for how we can change the police force through training, recruiting, and how they interact with neighborhoods and we NEED to see significant changes in the culture of all law enforcement entities. I’m ALL IN for Mitzi.”
KC Exec:
Hirt:
“Literally the only reason this dude is running is to find a larger audience for his tears about the East Link and how >_< he is about what’ll do for people trying to drive from Mercer Island. Next.”
“Yeah Mercer Island already managed to get $10 million from ST from East Link tears, let’s not make it any easier for that to happen.”
Constantine:
“Natch.”
“**hearts for eyes emoji**”
“Even if yr not a Dow fan (which to be clear, I am!) he is also literally the only decent candidate in this race.”
Nelson:
“FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS JOKE-VOTE FOR GOODSPACEGUY, AKA BADABOLISHTHEMINIMUMWAGEGUY.”
Lipman:
“lol this guy sucks.”
Ballots should be arriving around July 12; Election Day is August 1st, which means you need to postmark it before that or drop it in a ballot box.
Go vote! Make sure you put a stamp on it! We love you!











