YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

come with me, my love, to the sea -- the sea of love. dr. sebastian "seba" castillo. forty. doctor.

[sebcastillo]

⸻⸻ ✦ OSCAR ISAAC, CISMALE, HE/HIM ✦ SEBASTIAN “SEBA” CASTILLO the FORTY year old has been in the QZ for FIVE YEARS. The DOCTOR is/are said to be WELL-MANNERED and BURDENED but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves. ( mel / 23 / est / they/them )

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: child neglect, death, murder, parental death, medical procedures

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

Name: Sebastian Leonardo Castillo Nicknames/Alias: Seba (most common), Seb

Faceclaim: Oscar Isaac

Age: Forty Gender: Cismale Sexuality: Queer/unlabled Date/Place of Birth: July 6th / Miami, FL Currently: Dallas QZ

Positive Traits: Well-mannered, gentle, compassionate Negative Traits: Burdened, cynical, gullible Astrological Sign: Cancer Archetype: The Quiet Intellectual

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘.

There is always a sense of paternal nature that comes with being the eldest son, the expectation to care -- no matter what befalls. It can certainly be said when one things of Sebastian Leonardo Castillo, born to Marjorie and Mateo Castillo in an overflowing Miami hospital. While the words were never distinctly uttered, they showed as the Castillo family expanded in his early years. What started as a family of three became four, then five, then six. His parents soon found themselves being stretched thinner and thinner, bills piling up on the kitchen table until they were swimming in them.

From the very moment Sebastian held his drivers license between his fingers, he became the present parent. A typical teenage social life was soon consumed by a part time job, and education soon no longer became a vessel to improve his own future, but his siblings in turn.

Not a child, but a parental figure.

At the age of twenty, Sebastian was on track to attend medical school -- the top of his class. Escape from his home came in the form of a full-ride to Harvard, where he soon found himself loosing touch with his three siblings one by one.

And then, the outbreak came. What was once a false utopia he had found had shattered to pieces, replaced by a dystopian hellscape. While he knew some of the basic skills to keep himself afloat, the privilege he had been given stripped the rest from him. He knew one thing for certain, however -- he had to find his family. Even from thousands of miles away.

He stumbled across a recruiter soon after -- looking for those seeking shelter somewhere on the outskirts of Chicago. While he never had intended to end up there, anywhere for that matter -- it seemed like that was the safest thing to do, to go where the road takes you. He spent the next few years in safety there, assisting medically however he could. Alongside his mentor, another doctor, he found a way to adapt and help in this strange new world.

That is -- until a raid five years back took his home from him, as well as his mentor, who he will never forget cry out for him to take him, before the virus takes me. Then the gunshot. And then -- nothing.

In Dallas, family came in the form of his little sister, the second eldest in their brood. She had lived safely there since the outbreak, where he would then learn the fate of his family. His parents, in the one selfless act they had ever done, sacrificed themselves so their other children could run. His sister had watched as her mother was bitten, and their father couldn't bare to leave her, the one sign of devotion she had ever seen that hadn't been to his job. She had been searching for the other two siblings, but as the days pass -- she becomes less optimistic.

He has since become a respected doctor in the Dallas quarantine zone, even if his mild-mannered nature seems far too demure for some. When it all comes down to it, he will do anything to protect the people he loves, as well as the people in his care.

Call that a parental nature.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.

One thing that has never died since the outbreak is Seba's love for retaining knowledge. He reads absolutely anything he can get his hands on.

Very soft spoken and reserved when he's not with a patient. However, he appears to be much more analytical and direct when he is. He feels confident in very few things -- but his knowledge of this new world medicine is one of them.

One thing he both prides himself on a despises himself before at the same time, is the humanity that he still clings to. That he has a certain amount of faith in the world and the people around him. And yet, this leaves him the potential to be sucked in by the wrong people.

Spends a decent amount of time at the bar, but not always to drink. Mainly because his solitude as a soft-spoken academic can occasionally get lonely and he finds comfort in the company.

MORE TO COME.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

Best Friends - these people are the pieces of him Sebastian never knew he was missing. Without these two, he doesn't know how he would stay standing. ( 0/2 ): OPEN

Friends - Seba cares deeply for these people, and they always have a home with him. No matter what. ( 1/any ): Emmeline Hall, Orla Martin, OPEN

Drinking Buddies - Sometime's he'll drink, sometimes he won't. However, Seba has been known to stop by the bar to spend time with these select people - even if it's just to chat or listen ( 1/3 ): Orla Martin, OPEN

Exes - Seba doesn't open himself up to many people, simply because he's a bit on the shyer side and wonders if it's even worth it. However, these two people managed to capture his heart. Even if it didn't work out, no matter how they feel about each other now, Seba holds a special place in his heart for them. ( 0/2 ): OPEN

Crush - If there's one thing about Seba, he's always going to have stars in his eyes. Even if there's the slightest chance it will cause him pain. ( 1/1 ): Axel Ulrich

Like Children - If there's anything many of the people I write with know about me - I'm gonna write a protective dad character. Seba is 110% on the lengthy list. He has a tendency to take people under his wing, no matter if they like it or not. Doesn't hurt to have a doctor on your side, now does it? ( 1/any ): Dylan Monroe, OPEN

I am more than happy for this list to keep growing, but these are the ideas that did come to mind!

[axulrich]

Axel is no stranger to strong emotions: anger, frustration, fear. He feels it and it lingers, sometimes even consumes him. He isn't the best at processing them in real time, but he's learned to stow them away and manage them in a more appropriate setting, in a better way. He's learned to adapt like everyone else.

But, there's a strong desire aching in his chest that dares to be ignored. It's not one simple thing—not lust or attraction, or a simple desire for companionship in an unlikely stranger, but rather all of it. And he feels vulnerable under Seba's gaze, but not small. In fact, he feels like he could do anything, the power of intensity in Seba's eyes giving him the courage to feel, so openly. He can't remind the last time he's wanted something so selfishly.

"Oh, really?" He quirks an intrigued eyebrow the other man's way, feeling inexplicably bold when offers up the idea that he enjoys being around Axel, that he wanted him there—and how blissfully unaware he was before this, the innocent glances that would have them meeting here, all the built up tension seeping through the cracks.

"Well, Seba," He speaks softly, attention brought to the soft cupid's bow on his and the plushness of his top lip before he's meeting Seba's eyes again, those deviant blue eyes that have charmed the masses suddenly softening for the man across from him and he blinks, like it might manage to restart his rational thinking, that he wouldn't make a rash choice and act of feelings, "I think I'm pretty terrible at surprises."

And the implications are there, their breath mingling with the close proximity they shared and Axel had an idea—a horrible, possibly devastating idea, but he knows if he doesn't take the chance now he would scare himself out of it later.

"But...there might be one thing I can do," He speaks softer now, and he's almost worried Seba can't hear him over the deafening rush of his pounding heart in his ears, like all sense are null and muffled, "if you'll let me?"

Axel raises a careful hand to rest in the curve of the Seba's shoulder, the first real touch he's allowed himself to initiate all night, a gentle thumb rubbing tenderly against pulse of his neck—he doesn't want to scare Seba away too quickly, knowing the strength it took to care or love vulnerable in this world, and he wouldn't consider it that yet, but he can see the spark behind Seba's eyes that have him locked in.

Axel pushes in gently, close enough that he can see the warm specs of brown buried in the deep darkness of Seba's eyes and waits, allowing Seba to claim what connection he rightfully deserved, on his own terms.

[sebcastillo]

THEY'RE SO CLOSE. THEY'RE so close, that he see every crevice in axel's face, the divots in his cheeks, the creases along the outskirts of his eyelids. he doesn't know how he's still breathing and yet, he can't help but wonder if he's breathing at all. it would explain the faint lightheadedness, the way his stomach is turning. and yet, the way his chest was rising and falling told him that he was.

knowing himself, the way he is -- he must take heed to the voices in his head. they are all screaming different things at him, calling for him to be sane, to let himself go and lose himself in the other, to come back to his senses and realize that his feet needed to hit the ground running -- straight for the hills. and yet he stays grounded, fingers grazing his in a moment of subconscious intimacy. he thinks back to their conversations in the time that they have known each other -- pleasentries in the mess hall, stitching axel's wounds back together, someone to count on down the hall if all hope was lost. then comes the reminders of how axel had left in every single time, red in the face and questioning himself.

he had known he felt something for the man -- but he didn't know what. well, perhaps he had known, he just hadn't been able to bring himself to admit it. until now.

" yeah.. " he nods, the familiar color returning to his face as his lips curl into a calm, content smile. curse his inability to hide the way he felt, as he wore it directly on his sleeve. it takes longer than he cares to admit, but he soon finds the words. " keeps life exciting. "

you're certainly surprising me right now. the sentence threatens to spill over, but seba suprisingly manages to keep it to himself. perhaps the first battle of his thoughts he has managed to win throughout this conversation -- but axel doesn't appear to mind. in fact.. he's getting closer. so close, that seba can feel the warmth of his breath along his upper lip. that, combined with the touch on his shoulder somehow manages to be enough to sustain him for a lifetime.

one has no time for affection living in a world like this one, where everyone and everything could be easily lost -- even when it wasn't deserved. however, was it a life worth living if one did not have something or someone to care for, dare he say, live for? axel is exciting, axel is the kind of man he used to watch the same films for in a state of confusion at the age of sixteen wondering why his heart was beating just a bit faster, and no matter if he tried to ignore it -- the way he's looking at him is something he's both unable to resist and wondering it's too good to be true.

if you'll let me. please. someone pinch me, because i must be dreaming.

his fingernails dig into the flesh of his palm, an action that is intended to remind him of his reality but is only known to him. he's here. he's really here, and he's perfect, and this man might be about to kiss me. he can already feel the eventual embarrassment he's expecting rearing its ugly head in anticipation of his inevitable rejection -- but he will continue to hold onto hope. it's all he has left.

" axel.. " he breaths, a dazed expression now being replaced by a nervous, giddy smile. he's here. he's really here, and he's perfect. he finds himself inching just a bit closer with a sudden overwhelm of confidence -- the voices in his mind fading away into silence. " of course i'll let you. " in fact, i thought you'd never ask. the feeling of axel's hand on his neck is everything, already addicted after just a matter of seconds. at this point he's teasing -- wondering just how far he can push. he can't remember the last time he's felt so much, felt so alive.

" what are you waiting for? "

[alisonxmorgan]

Open: @dallasstart Where: somewhere outdoors One word you could use to describe Alison was flighty. Throughout her journeys she had picked up a multitude of interests, although all ended in much the same way; discarded and forgotten about. This week her interest seemed to lie in drawing, and although she wasn't particularly good at it, it passed the time alright. Her pencil scratched the paper roughly, making shapes that vaguely resembled the landscape around her. She eyed her work before flipping it over to show the nearest person, needing a second opinion. "What do you think?" She asked expectantly.

[sebcastillo]

EVEN IN THE WINTER, SEBA managed to find some beauty in the world. it kept him grounded, moving through the day -- even when he wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by silence. it seemed that he was in good company with the young woman, who seemed engrossed in her drawing as much as he was engrossed in his book. his collection was his prized possession -- a mere fraction of what it once was, but something that reminded him of his life before. eyes follow her voice with a gentle smile, eyes turning to hers with a nod and a friendly smile.

" you've got quite the talent, goodness. " seba nods, folding down the well-loved page of his novel to keep his place. " have you been drawing for long? "

[axulrich]

Axel is mesmerized by the way Sebastian carries himself, like there's a reason behind every word, every thought that he has, that when he says something he means it. And Axel knows he's being forward, at least, more than he usually would be. He liked to create a foundation with people, a solid friendship to rely on. Anything tangible to hold onto, but things like this, so fleeting and easy to slip out from under him, he's almost more eager. The possibilities, the chances he could take that may lead to more—of what, he couldn't be certain. But, he knows that the stolen glances from across the room, both now and before, aren't just all in his head. Axel also knows that life is delicate now and that when something is presented to him, an opportunity to connect, he isn't going to let it go very easy.

He tries not to let the endearment throw him off, despite the way it kickstarts his heart, and he follows Sebastian like there's an invisible string holding them together, leaning in when he leans back. But, then Sebastian is matching his stance with a look that sends Axel's mind racing and he doesn't pull away.

Whatever diving intervention told him to sit beside Sebastian rather than across was his saving grace, because the moment their knees knock together in a silent touch and Axel can't be bothered to pull away, he's done. He knows that whatever he tells him will make or break whatever Axel thinks is going on here.

Because, while he is serious about cooking a nice, genuine meal for Sebastian, there's also the implication that they would be spending more time together, alone, and Axel craved that more than he wanted to admit. He smiles at the way the words fall from Sebastian's lips, resting his chin against a closed fist as he stares him down in a silent challenge.

"Depends," Axel replies, "what does Sebastian like?"

And really, he's just trying to see what he might say, if he was over-reading the situation, but he was also curious, wanting to curate a meal around something he enjoys. He isn't sure when his eyes drift away either, landing somewhere between the lack of space between them and his lips, awaiting a response that Axel was nearly about to jump off a ledge for, spreading out a sweaty palm against his jeans to hide his sudden nerves, fingers curling around his knee and brushing against Sebastian's in the process.

[sebcastillo]

TO ACT GENUINELY IS a gift around these parts, one that very few are even proud of. it's something that comes as a suprise to sebastian, even as he enters his forties in a world where survival ruled over all. weren't they tired of living only for themselves? didn't it get lonely, wandering through the world alone? he asked himself that question time and time again and yet -- as the world kept spinning and he turned another year older, not only was he privvy to the signs of age, but realizing just how often he had ended up alone. and now, it had been his default way of life. it no longer mattered what he wanted, it hadn't mattered for twenty years. and yet, in this moment, he has realized that his ability to want had simply been laying dormant. in seba's line of work, the irreparable could rarely ever be rejuvenated. it seemed, much to his suprise, that axel had done the near impossible.

the way their sitting tells seba all he needs to know, and yet, denial revenges every part of his mind. the term of endearment had been meant to catch his attention, but certainly enough room to leave him an out. just in case he needed one, in case the stars on his eyes were nothing more than the glint behind a pair of rose colored glasses. and yet, the closeness is something he finds impossible to ignore -- in fact, it's enough to make him dizzy.

how has he possibly gone without this feeling? better yet, has he ever felt so strongly? the touch sends a shock coiling up his spine in a manner that mimics that of a snake, and while he makes a certain amount of effort to ignore it -- the nature of his erratic heartbeat makes him aware of just how much he'll have to fight to keep his composure.

" ah, sebastian. makes it sounds like i'm still at the hospital. " he hums, eyes breaking from the other's for a moment to gather his words. if he spoke right then, well.. he wasn't even sure if he'd speak with his words. " most people... well, those who's company i enjoy call me seb. or seba. "

who's company i enjoy. fuck. that was the understatement of the year.

the feeling of his fingers brushing against the other's soon sends him back into orbit but this time -- he doesn't know if he'll ever come down. all he knows is that he must take this moment in, commit this delicious feeling to memory so he never has to go without it again. even just the memory will be enough. it's not just axel's words, but the way he says them. they could have been standing directly within a sea of people and without fail, he would know that he was speaking to him. the intimacy of them transcended anything he had ever known before.

" well.. " he begins, finding the strength within himself to lock his eyes with axel's once more. " what would you do if i told you.. i want you to suprise me? " his notices rather quickly when his eyes gravitate towards the other's lips, causing him to move his gaze back upward just as quickly. he can brush it off as meaning nothing, but even then he knows that he'll be lying to himself. after so many years of self-protection of both his heart and humanity, he knows better than to ignore it now.

[axulrich]

Axel has learned to stumble his way through this life off of niceness and necessity, being kind didn't always get you kindness in return, but it was a damn sure good start. He didn't have the passion to help, more so to provide. He's learned that, even despite that world being stricken by tragedy, people still needed something or someone to hold onto. He didn't have a someone, but cooking was his something. He came to Dallas with no intention of anything other than trying to blend in, maybe take a job as lookout or something low-profile, but never a cook. Fortunately, he had the personality to make everyone feel welcomed, invited, and somehow lucked out. He had a natural knack for it and he's been at it for five years with no end in sight. He's picked up a few things along the way, too.

But, more glaringly, that not everyone liked to eat in large groups, help themselves to seconds when allowed, and the few that nearly avoided the dining hall as a whole. Sebastian was somewhere in the middle, always held up at hospital with another injury, another problem. And he's made food for people before, feed them after hours, sent them off with extra. But, this is the first time he's ever really gone out of his way to do just a little more. It also didn't come with a side of flirting, but Axel couldn't help himself. He couldn't nail what made Sebastian so intriguing, but it felt like a collection of things. There was a softness that he carried around himself, an aura of light that drew people in, made them feel welcome despite how mysterious he seemed. And Axel couldn't stop staring at his eyes, the intensity of them locking him in, only flitting away briefly to catch the smile creeping onto his face—and the way he spoke, so eloquently and solid, like there was a purpose and meaning behind every word.

Axel was in deep, deep shit. Because he didn't want to spend a night with Sebastian, he wanted to know him. He's never felt that before and it terrifies him.

"Comparing food to saving lives feels unfair," Axel replies indifferently, "but I can cook the hell out of venison and a few vegetables when we get a good stock," He often pays the farmers in favors when it came to keeping a small stock aside for himself, it was a treat for his days off, a way to unwind and relax and enjoying something for himself, "may not save any lives, but it'll be a damn good meal."

And even though Axel had swore he's mastered a level of flirting and keeping things on a miraculous level of subtle, teetering the edge of teasing and being way too nice, he feels the urge to throw himself full force into whatever game Sebastian is tossing back at him. The subtle tug that pulls at Axel's lips as the words leave Sebastian's mouth have Axel in his grip, feeling the proximity between them lessen, too intimate to be just friendly. "A gift?" Axel repeats, "That's mighty gracious of you."

And there's a long pause of silence, not that type that would make you want to flee, but the building of tension that could snap at any moment. "I'll have to treat you to an Axel special, my treat." Axel doesn't want to other-think things, letting his heart do the talking instead of his brain.

[sebcastillo]

WHILE SEBA MAY HAVE been the kind to have some amount of good faith when it came to the world, despite living amongst the fragments that were left, he had come to notice that there were many who denied the good left within themselves. perhaps they found it selfish, or perhaps they simply just didn't believe in it at all. seba had come to learn that axel was the latter. thick skin had certainly given way to kindness somewhere down the line, and the two personalities were certainly competing with each other. however, the light in axel's eyes when seba spoke about his gesture was not something that could be simply brushed off, explained away.

while some had the chance to experience, gain from rejection in their teenage years, sebastian had been far from able to. not because he didn't want to, fall head over heels in love for the very first time amidst the perils of adolescence, he had spent his early years making dinners, followed by school lunches, helping with homework. never had someone subconsciously dreaded getting their drivers license, for then would come an onslaught of further responsibility -- piling on top of what he was already carrying, both at home and his education. and while he had found himself here before, even if he may have been far beyond pining -- he had been burned before. perhaps this was why he lived the life he did, in quiet isolation. never to be hurt again.

but god, would it be so bad to be hurt by axel?

the question causes his heart to momentarily stop beating, previously having pounded at a sporadic rhythm from his ears. when it does return, he's certainly not the same he was before -- and he wonders if he ever will be again.

" sure, maybe it's a different ball game.. " seba begins quietly, never thinking he would ever find himself making a reference to sports. however, the words have left his lips and there's no use overthinking them now. " but food does keep us going. " he's shocked at how easy it is for him to keep eye contact with the other man -- despite the sweaty palms and nervous twinge to his smile. something about the other makes him feel safe enough to. he's oblivious to just how close he's sitting, and he finds himself taking this moment in as much as he can. not just because he's enjoying it, but he worries that once the other learns how he feels, it may never happen again. " to take what we have, no matter how limited, and make something for others to enjoy.. that takes creativity. " he pauses, taking another bite of one of said meals. " ...and kindness. " even if axel hadn't bore those intentions when initially arriving in dallas — there was a reason why people grew overtime, either a something or a someone.

maybe it meant something — that axel brought out such confidence in him. such a debonair feeling of strength raced through every fiber of his skin, even if at times the words didn’t reflect it. “ it’s simply just the truth, cariño. “ he nods, leaning a bit backwards into his chair. when making reference to the other, he thinks carefully about his word choice. his habit for calling others love threatened to rear its head at he sat there and for some reason, it felt like too much.

at the mention of the axel special, he leans forward in curiosity.. maybe also because he enjoys the thought of being closer to the other. “ axel special, hmm? and what does that entail? “

[emmelinefm]

like any coin, being slightly out of touch with reality had its two sides - it both protected and put her in danger, almost simultaneously. emmeline was a survivor like a cat with 'nine lives' - she was simply 'lucky'. however, that luck came at a price of her deterioration and inability to trust like she had done so many times before. when everything had changed, she thought it would get solved. she was doing well in life for once, she was stable and thriving and everyone's structures quickly fell - she was no exception.

there had been people around her, ones that were too close and then... it would be a long running pattern and trauma only exacerbated her illness. guilt was no uncommon thing with people. the woman could think of a lot more deserving people to be here, people who she had admired and loved throughout her life, that had helped her so much but it didn't play out that way. her sister cared a lot about her, even when she had her own children and she'd always fought to be a support - the other had made it clear very early on that she wanted to remain close to her, to make sure she wasn't alone.

it always felt so real and sometimes, she could recognise it and keep it to herself, other times, not so much. it had lead emmeline to sebastian because he seemed genuine. the woman couldn't be so sure but he had helped her, somewhat filling the role of her late sister without realising it. her chest hurt. she was about to start her dialogue when she heard that - 'you did good, coming to get me.' she'd sworn her family had said something similar to her when she was unknowingly at the worst points of her life, however, now there just seemed to be a lot more of them. it had somewhat broken her out of what she'd initially thought but that didn't mean the idea wasn't still pressurised within her. "you're not safe with me." emmeline was gentle in nature, she wasn't going to hurt anyone and that should have told her everything she needed to know.

[sebcastillo]

THE WORLD THAT THEY had once known, a living, breathing organism for them to call home had been decimated within a matter of days -- they were never meant to live like this. while complete security wasn't guaranteed in this world, it was at least supposed to be an option. instead, what the citizens he had interacted had been left with was loss, visceral anger and guttural pain. he had never pushed his sister to talk about her experience before dallas, and he had certainly not expected the same of emmeline. instead, he had wanted this friendship to be on her own time -- after all, he had the gift of the quarantine zone's safety for the past five years. she had not.

sebastian never felt like he had to take care of people, it was never a requirement -- but a simple choice. perhaps as a child, due to his parents absence the more their family grew. however, he made an intentional choice to trust his gut and keep those people safe. emmeline was most certainly not a burden, and he found himself becoming protective of her in such a short time not out of guilt, or whatever some may have thought. this protective nature was why he had gone to medical school in the first place.

while seba stood from a distance that he hoped would make emmeline feel heard, listened to. it brought him some amount of peace to know that emmeline trusted him enough to come to him, and he wanted to nurse that trust instead of destroy it. " emmeline... the fact that you know you don't want to hurt anyone.. " seba says, still standing stationary as he holds out his arm to help her into the hospital. " it's a good sign. " he pauses for a moment, eyes softening. " we can stay out here as long as you need to.. okay? "

[peepawjoels-deactivated20240719]

Dylan managed around here long enough to see exactly what lying gets you—however blatant. Secrets were natural, everyone had them and Dylan is lucky that she is good at hiding her own away. Depending on the severity of things, it could mean a simple (metaphorical) slap on the hand, being scolded like a child. Or...things could be much more grim. She's seen people lose privileges, be kicked out completely on their own with nothing to help them fend off whatever threats remain on the outside of these walls, or something that Dylan could only describe as gruesome. The council for the QZ would never outright admit it, but for the higher crimes, punishment was increasingly worse. Life was more of a gamble now then anything. It was why Dylan kept personal information to herself, some which belonged to her and some of others. She knew how to deal things out to her advantage and with hardly anyone in her corner, it was needed.

"Falling off a bartop is absolutely ridiculous," Dylan surmises, having seen it plenty of times—it's avoidable, completely, "especially when they're not even drunk. Do you know how many grown men I've had to pull of this thing?" Dylan presses an accusatory finger into the wood-stained counter, "Grown men." She believed that some people just lacked the common sense or acquired that fuck all attitude somewhere between the infection nearly wiping out humanity and now. "I guess I do well to keep you busy then." Dylan jokes lightly.

There's an air of levity with Sebastian that Dylan didn't feel with others often. Given how early she lost her parents to this world, she didn't mesh well with authority in the QZ, having handled herself for many years on her own, bouncing from place to place. She's lucky that Dallas has become like a home to her, but it was still hard to find anything homely about this place. She can see the kindness in his eyes, something that wasn't familiar anymore.

[sebcastillo]

WHILE SOME DOCTORS TAKE heed to attempt and know all of their patients, he knows that isn't always possible -- considering the amount of people that once needed help. there are very few things that seba prides himself on in this world anymore, and remembering faces is one of them. he remembers dylan, the way she clearly kept things close to her chest. how her eyes scanned his office for the sense of danger -- despite it being a sterile as he could make it. while his protective nature often kicked in with some, and while it still did when it came to the other woman -- he knew it wasn't always needed. she had a quiet strength about her that not everyone had within themselves.

" oh trust me, i know. " seba laughs, shaking his head before he takes another sip of his tonic-less g & t. while he would never get used to the burn, it was enough that she could do. " i don't like to discount my patient's experiences.. but it's most certainly something that could have easily been prevented. " at the mention of what the young woman had seen, seba's brows furrow as he genuinely begins to think of how he can answer the question -- when in reality, he knows better than to actually begin listing off numbers. he most certainly isn't surprised, considering the youths of today. sometimes, they became so used to their own saftey -- that they weren't aware of just how good they had it. " god... i would love to give you a single number, but i can assume that you could count them on both hands multiple times. maybe not... what's the worst of 'em? "

while sebastian knew he held a position of power -- a presence there to heal, the doctor knew that at the end of the day, the people of the quarantine zone were simply that, people. and in a way, everyone was searching to be treated like another human being. it was why he carried himself in the manner which he did. and why he always offered a shoulder to either lean or cry on.

[axulrich]

Axel feels a responsibility to some of the people around him, not nearly as many as he should. But with people like Sebastian, there's a burgeoning need to make up for his own mistakes, those more than constant trips to the infirmary with a finger to stitch up or gash to be cleaned. It's easily one of his biggest downfalls in the kitchen, his mind sometimes taking over and offering up to big of a distraction. He becomes lost, lost in a thought that overtakes him and the next thing he knows he's spewing out a fuck with his finger held tightly by the towel tucked in his apron. Sebastian always seems busy, dealing with bigger injuries, bigger problems, and maybe this is Axel's way of saying sorry for using up supplies that could definitely go to people who need it more, there were already slim enough pickings. But, on the other hand, Axel also felt an attraction, however big or small it may be. "I think it's...fine to be selfish, more so at a time like now, but I try," He shrugs, "—I mean, look at you. A job like that, literally dedicating yourself to helping others. I think you deserve to be a little selfish too."

He was no stranger to crushes and he's had quite a few, but this one feels...different? It feels like a terrible way to describe it in his head, but Sebastian is easily more soft-spoken and balanced than most people, at least from an outsider's perspective. Axel watches with a faint smile as the doctor takes his first bite, bottom lip pulling between his teeth as he chews nervously. He feels like he's losing the unspoken battle of harmless flirting, the wink thrown his way knocking him off kilter for a millisecond and fighting back the shaky chuckle by cause of Sebastian's response. And as much as he finds the other side of the doctor interesting, this is intimate.

Still harmless, Axel leans back in his chair now, fiddling idly with his fingers against the tabletop, easing back into the rhythm of conversation, eyes flitting up to glance at Sebastian, a more than obvious flush to his cheeks that he'd like to admit, "Careful, now you're just inflating my ego."

[sebcastillo]

SEBA KNOWS THAT AFFECTION is a luxury in this place that very few can afford, leading those to keep their cards clutched so tightly to their chest that little action it taken to keep them from crumbling under a titanium grip. perhaps it's why seba makes every attempt he can to lead with kindness, genuinely so at that. living in this world, as he believed, may be just a bit easier if he is reminded what it means to be human. if it helps someone along the way, he is reminded what it feels like to be reminded that he has a heart beating beneath the fragments of his ribcage, the tell-tale bray that screams out i'm here, i'm right here. but there's something about axel that makes such reminders all to common, instead -- leaving him fumbling for instructions on how to move air through his lungs, how to simply breathe. while seba is usually riddled with an anxious air around those who've captured his attention, he can't seem to rip his eyes from axel's. it's a whole new world, something that he can't deny -- scares the shit out of him. and he can't help but adore every second that he can get.

" people keep telling me that, you know.. " he pauses, swallowing for a moment as he ponders what to say next. he's never really admitted it aloud, that he's heard it all before. healing people's wounds, sending them out the door of the infirmary put back together -- on the outside, that is. " that i'm the selfless one. doing what i do. but axel.. you're more selfless than you think, you know. you take what we have here, as little as it is, and turn it into sustenance not just for you -- or for me, but for all of us. "

and he means it, he does. if one is going to live amongst this society, they must all become cogs in the wheel. and while some people have other motives, living here for the sole purpose of staying alive -- axel doesn't have to tell him that there's some amount of goodness in him. he's already shown that to him. and who is he not to be enamored with what he's shown him?

the glint of mischief in axel's eyes causes seba's heart to skip a beat, but then comes the flush to his cheeks -- and seba can't help but wonder the last time he saw something so genuinely fucking adorable. and while he too has been telling himself that there's no harm in getting to know each other, relishing in the other's company -- the familiar, nagging voice in the back of his mind tells him otherwise, and only becomes louder when ignored. and yet, he can't run now -- nor does he want to.

" how is it inflating your ego when i'm simply speaking the truth, hmmm? " seba responds, the words gliding over his tongue with a smoothness that he certainly doesn't expect from himself. after taking another bite and swallowing, he leans against the makeshift table they sit at with his signature grin. is he sitting closer than he was before? he doesn't notice. " you've got a gift, you know. "

[sebcastillo]

@emmelinefm

LOCATION: outside the infirmary

SEBASTIAN KNEW THAT SOME questioned his sympathy for the woman. and yet, those that were closest to him knew better than to ask questions. he just wanted to help. he remembered when he had first arrived in the quarantine zone, alone and scared and with blood on his hands he couldn't wash away, no matter how hard he tried. and yet, he had been lucky enough to find people who took him in, helped him through the ebb and flow of his adjustment. he aimed to do just that for emmeline. there were moments of good in their blossoming friendship, moments of growth that sebastian had seen and he would always be proud of her, even with the bad.

he had thankfully been unoccupied when he heard the call for his presence, exiting the doors with his jacket thrown loosely over his shoulders. he could feel the oncoming cold nipping at his exposed wrists, the pads of his fingertips, the flesh of his cheeks. and yet, he was focused on none of that -- only the woman in front of him.

" emmeline? " he calls out to her, not making a movement closer. she needs space in this moment, and he knows to give it to her. " you did good, coming to get me. okay? can i come closer, or would you like me to stay where i am? "

[lexiegarcias]

@dallasstart outside the hospital

Lexie did the most that she could to help out the people in the QZ with her, but that didn't mean that anyone was safe from the attitude she also had to give. It had been an easy day at the hospital, though she still found herself eager to get out of there and back to the small corridors she called home. That's why the sudden drop in mood hit when her eyes landed on a possible patient approaching her just as she was exiting the building. Looking them over with her arms crossed over her chest, she sighed. "You know you look like absolute shit, right?"

[sebcastillo]

WHILE IT MAY HAVE been a quiet morning in the infirmary, seba's mind had certainly been busy enough to feel like otherwise. he has a lot to think about and he knows it -- despite his tendency to put on a brave face and lead with kindness. his newfound closeness with a certain someone has allowed his positivity to feel a bit more natural, but he still does have a job to do.

he realizes he hasn't given himself time for fresh air in a couple hours, soon to head back to his own apartment. however, he needs a moments peace before his work comes to a close. while the darkness has engulfed their society, seba is able to make out lexie in the dim light -- as well as identify her by the sound of her voice. his befuddled expression certainly allows for some notice that he disapproves of her words towards the patient -- even if he sure as hell wants to get the fuck out of here just as much as the next person.

" if you're looking for services, go ahead inside. someone will be with you shortly. " he turns to the other, trying to diffuse the tension that the unsuspecting individual doesn't even seem to know that they started. once they make their way inside, seba turns to lexie the moment that they're out of earshot. " jeez, lex... really going for the kill there, huh? "

[peepawjoels-deactivated20240719]

Unlike Sebastian, Dylan was well-versed in the world of drowning down her thoughts and worries with a bit of liquid courage. People coped in different ways—through violence, serial relationships, healthier ways with hobbies that were justifiable, but for her alcohol was a matter of convenience. She didn't seek it out from the start but when shooting and hunting wasn't your forte and you didn't know a thing or two about medicine, herbs, and everything else—you land at a job that doesn't require much skill at all. Other than a tolerance for the occasional asshole.

"The truth is always way more visceral anyways," Dylan admits, leaning over the bar with a boot propped against the ledge underneath it, "people are terrified of it though, maybe that's why people lie so often." And be it Dylan to tell someone straight up, no easing into it, exactly how things were.

Dylan shrugs, palms slipped into the back pockets of her jeans as she leans back, considering his words, "Okay...change of pace," Dylan tilts her head off to the side, sifting through the many avenues of interesting conversation, lending out a means to keep him around if he was hoping for a break from his mundane routine, "let's see—oh, what's the most ridiculous thing someone's came to you with at the infirmary?"

[sebcastillo]

THERE WAS A LOT in this world that it may be best for him to forget -- considering the current climate. the very fabric of the universe had managed to become frayed in his eyes over the course of the past twenty years, one of the unlucky few who was able to remember a time before. while many of the younger ones walking through the quarantine zone were seven, eight when they were first brought to safety, sebastian was thirty-five. and while those years were becoming more and more like a distant memory every single day.. there were times when he contemplated the possibility and probability of mind erasure. perhaps his heart would be just a little bit lighter.

" and most people are horrible liars. maybe they were good once, but what is the point of being dishonest behind these walls? what does that get you? " hiding behind a false reality. no matter how much they wanted to. he nodded at the mention of terror, for there had been a time where he too had once been terrified of the truth. what he had done to his mentor, his closest friend.

at the mention of his own position, the question causes him to fall deep into thought. he has seen countless faces in the five years since he entered the qz, more so than he realized until in that very moment. " well.. i'm not the type to call anyone's reasons for asking to see me ridiculous. they've got to have some amount of genuine concern or reason to stop by. however.. i've heard some very silly reasons for being there. many of them, ironically, stemming from alcohol. falling off the bartop they were dancing on, tripping over a rock on their way home.. you get the jist? "

[axulrich]

Axel is only slightly intimidated by the cleanliness and organization of Sebastian's apartment, a stark and heavy contrast to his usual tornado of a home. He tries to keep it clean, but after a hefty day of work and wanting to cook for himself in the comfort of his home, well, things get pushed to the back-burner—literally and figuratively. It's nowhere near unlivable and he wouldn't be ashamed in bringing anyone back, but there's definitely a moment when he crosses the threshold of Sebastian's apartment that makes him second guess just how clean his apartment could be. The door clicks behind him and he watches as Sebastian returns to a comfortable state, relaxing in the confines of his own home, despite his presence.

"Well, I like what you've done with the place," Axel starts playfully, a light undertone to ease into conversation, he takes a quick once-over, not wanting to seem overly prying, but he's always found Sebastian interesting, the shroud of mystery, lack of knowing, that effervescent charm that he carried around and bestowed on Axel like a spell, even if he didn't realize it, "I don't know why I assumed it would look that different from mine."

Not that...not that he had thought about it before.

Axel takes a seat with no argument, the ache in his feet creeping up on him, the soreness in his calf muscles as he wills his body to relax a little—he wasn't as young and spry as used to be and he felt it now more than ever, damn near every day. He watches quietly as the other moves around the apartment with purpose, "Now, don't feel obligated to lie to me since I'm here, I can take the constructive criticism. I swear."

[sebcastillo]

A TENDENCY TO ADMIRE from afar left one barren when it came to confidence, swagger, as the kids would say. then again, he had never truly been a child. perhaps this was why the warmth in his chest as he admired the blossoming smile on axel's face felt unexplainably foreign to him. he had certainly been smitten before -- but it felt like something new had been unearthed inside of him. something both beautiful and startling, but contrary to his past actions -- seba couldn't help but ask himself a simple question: what was the harm in leaning into it?

" oh, this old thing? " he finds himself teasing in response, surprising even himself. a hand extends to gesture to the space -- that had barely changed since the keys had been placed between his fingers that very first day. five years ago. " we do what we can with what we have -- right? in this life... i've come to be happy with what i've got. " it was like him to downplay the effort that he put into putting the place together and yet, he was lucky to simply have a roof over his head in times like these. and now? company to share it with. even when that company made stringing words together a hare more difficult than usual.

stop it. seba wanted to say. stop looking at me like that. the playful glint in his eye, it somehow managed to raise his heart rate without axel having even intended it... unless, he did. if so, it was most certainly working. in order to keep his composure, seba's eyes dart to the packaged meal. hands soon make quick work until the meal is revealed. his face softens once more, still mystified that the other had managed to think of him, with the amount of people must have served throughout the day.

" it really does mean a lot... that you stopped to think of me. " the doctor's face flushes a gentle shade of pink, betraying him in a single bound. for someone who tended to wear his heart on his sleeve, he was sure pretending to keep his cards close to his chest. it was either working, or making him look like a fool. " sometimes.. i wonder if anyone thinks about anything but themselves. even if at times in the society that we live in.. " it isn't always a bad thing. he silences himself by taking the first bite of the pasta, eyes returning to axel's as he does so.

" like i said... my compliments to the chef. " he winks, adjusting his glasses as he takes another bite. after the day he's had, this was exactly what he needed. axel had seen him in the depths of the infirmary and still wanted his company. it felt good to be seen, understood by someone -- when he worked so hard to give everyone else that same luxury. " ...perfecta, darling. "

[glehnn]

i’m not.

seba’s honesty draws a quirked smile to his lips, rafael flickering his eyes across the doctor’s familiar features. finds a bleeding heart and determination to keep him alive in the crinkle of his eyes. there are scars in his skin that were once open wounds for seba’s fingers to stitch back together, reminders of his endurance. the low light seems to flicker as he turns to allow nimble touch better access, rafael’s wound stinging with the attention.

he could take a knife to his side or a sheet of metal to his skin deep enough to unwound him, but experience never healed him of his personal ailments. woozy sensations make his eyes blink—he has never told anyone of his discomfort with blood. his own, at least; how it conjured images of being torn apart, ravaged by monstrous-fingers. nightmares given bones and skin to become reality. 

rafael wonders if sebastian can sense his blood aversion. 

“damn bounty…” he starts, contemplating how much information is too much. what is he compared to a doctor? their paths diverged significantly—rafael killed and captured and wounded. sebastian healed and soothed and stitched people back together. underlying curiosity wonders if there is hidden judgment there; beneath that is his personal discomfort of its possible existence. he has come to appreciate this other man. he owes his life to him a dozen times over.

“followed ‘em into a worn down store. just my luck it’s one of the only buildings not cleared.” 

rafael recalls the screech that met his taunting call, the sudden weight of aging slime and sprouted fungus dismantling from the walls. tendrils tickled the very cheek seba meets with soft hands now and rafael suppresses a shiver. “clicker jumped outta nowhere. took him down. but you know… they don’t stop. not after one gun shot. not even two. just barreled after me and took me through glass.” 

[sebcastillo]

IT HAS BECOME A pattern that seba has become far too used to -- both one he took comfort in, but also with some amount of heartache. while seba tried his hardest to separate his work from the rest of his life, the inevitable emotional onslaught would soon rear it's head. especially when it came to rafael, who put his very being on the line with every waking breath to keep them, him, safe. he had killed -- only once. but it still had a profound effect on him, both in his waking hours and in his sleep. how the other even managed to stay standing, he could do nothing but commend.

a heavy heart was certainly a restless one -- but seba was certainly good at faking it. he had to be, if he was to remain alert and prepared for his patients. no matter how much this game of pretend bore into the deepest crevices of his soul.

damn bounty..

the other's hesitation is certainly palpable, but the doctor makes no effort to push. he never does, not out of wanting to know, but wanting the room they were in to exude even the slightest semblance of comfort. he was safe now. that is, if sebastian could help it. and so, he does what he does best. he listens, as hands go to work pouring the antiseptic across the cloth.

just barreled after me, and took me through glass.

that certainly explained the shards. yet another pang hits him as his face contorts not with fear of the other or judgement, but relief. relieved that he's in one piece. wondering how someone could be so strong, so hardened by the world around him.

seba pauses for a moment, moving closer -- rag in a gloved hand. " this may hurt a bit, okay? " he finally says, waiting for a handful of beats, so the other can process what is it about to happen, the sting that will soon wash over him. " and you can stay as long as you need to. after i examine you.. and give my clearance, of course.. there's no rush. just.. take your time. you understand me? "

does anywhere truly feel like home, when you're constantly seeking out the worst that the world has to offer? perhaps it's why seba admires him as much as he does. even if such an occupation came to him out of necessity, he continues to put everyone else before himself. put his own life at risk, to eliminate a threat that even he was not aware of.

it was undeniably and wholeheartedly selfless, in a world where everyone had been forced to be out for themselves.

seba couldn't think of a single thing more human than that. such selflessness. while sebastian believed his own profession was a noble one, he could never do what rafael did. he didn't have the strength.

" 1... 2... " three. the glove makes contact with rafael's cheek while the other rests on his shoulder. he has experienced this pain before, and he know's it's enough to make someone dizzy. but after hearing what he heard, he doesn't know if it's to keep himself or the other upright. perhaps, just maybe, a little bit of both.

[axulrich]

Axel doesn't try to force his advances where they're not wanted or needed, he's got enough sense in that department. He's flirted and slept his way through more than he can count on his own two hands, but that was about the same for a lot of other residents. The impending doom, lingering over like a dark cloud—the end of the world...well, it made people's decisions increasingly rash. He was just as guilty as the rest. He also wasn't a stranger to Sebastian's charm. His smile is enough to catch anyone's attention, but this feels...more.

As for his too cool demeanor he forces on, Axel follows with a shrug. "Food's slim enough as it is, can't have the best doctor in the QZ skipping meals." A simple you're welcome would have been fine, but Axel doesn't settle and invitation to join is enough to seal the deal, he needed to know Sebastian, even if this was a complete fluke, "I'm—I'm not at all. Sounds a hell of a lot better than what I had planned, so yeah, I'll join you."

Axel chuckles at the added quip as he reverses his steps into the hall and locks his apartment door, pointing an accusatory finger at the bag of food in Sebastian's grip, "Well, I hope that's the best fucking pasta I've ever made." Otherwise, Axel might die of embarrassment.

[sebcastillo]

SEBA HAS CERTAINLY BEEN burned before, as much as he doesn't care to admit it. the idea that there could still be some good in the world had been one of the only things keeping him upright since the outbreak had hit, its aftershocks taking hold even now. he saw them every time rafael stumbled through his door, every patient, even the stranger who passed him in the square. something tells him axel has too -- in a way, they all had been. however, seba actively chose to face the world with kindness. and while seba had once thought axel was impenetrable -- swarthy charm a symptom of skin thicker than fine leather, there was something in the way he looked at him, as if he was taking this moment in.

eyebrows raise at such a high honor -- wondering if he even deserves it. he simply tries to get by, keep the people in his care as safe as he can. he's not looking to be the best, just enough. enough for all of them to get by. " now you're just inflating my ego, axel. " he laughs, stepping aside so axel can enter his apartment. thankfully seba manages to keep things rather clean, especially considering the circumstances. especially considering he hadn't been initially expecting company but then again, he never really does anymore. " you've seen me walk in and out of here dozens of times... welcome to the other side of the door. "

removing his jacket, he places it gently over one of the nearby chairs in a manner that somehow manages to seem organized. seba's home is the closest thing he can get to solace. it's up to him to keep things clean and organized in his own way, his space that he allows very few to enter and disrupt. and while axel is a hurricane in his own right, or at least, with the amount sebastian knows about him -- he disrupts nothing in this moment. except for maybe unearthing a feeling he had tried to protect himself from for so long -- he had stopped keeping track of when he had begun.

" well... don't just stand there. " he teases, picking up the parcel he had place on the table. he soon sits himself, gesturing to a nearby chair. " come, sit. both of us rarely ever get the chance to do that, i assume. "

[glehnn]

the outside was as cruel as it had proved to be two decades prior—crueler, even, to witness the way the world decays. powerless to stop it, rafael walked paths overgrown with greenery, any semblance of normalcy forgotten under mother nature’s dominating ire. the infected, to him at least, were victims to her rage. left to base instincts and shorn apart. 

his bounty, a prevalent thief, had fought unfairly nearing his demise. he would never claim to fight by the rules either, but unlike most hunters, he does extend to his bounties ample opportunity to give themselves over. it works on the young, but the older they get the more careless they become. devoid of a will to live, perhaps, as they fade into age and grow restless to fight.

rafael understands, sometimes, but there are more things to fight for than his own life.

his sister, missing for three years, crosses his thoughts.

but even his impatience runs dry when the cold weather brittles his skin and his temper. unfortunately for this thief, it isn’t a merciful bullet that takes him, but a clicker breaching a wall it's grown into. rafael barely survives it’s insatiable need himself, his shivs down to one, as he made his way to the only place he knows to retreat. 

“don’t look so surprised, doc,” he manages, hoisting his pack along his shoulder. bruises smatter across his face, a cut slicing his cheek in half, and a wound he doesn’t even recall the cause of at his shoulder. he is alive—that’s enough. 

rafael follows after sebastian, thinks to himself how there is humor in this pattern, as he dumps himself in a chair without even needing the direction. it’s his chair, at this point. 

“tried to stitch this up myself, but the damn needle dropped and,” rafael makes a vague gesture, “the bleedin’ stopped at least.” 

[sebcastillo]

SOME HAD CALLED HIM foolish, to protect his humanity. to nurture it, even if the circumstances did nothing but rally against him. the world had beaten him down -- time and time again. mercilessly, as some might say. and yet, the way his heart hurt every single time he watched rafael enter his workspace, battered and bruised, told him otherwise.

if he could move mountains, change the way their fates as a society were written -- even at the expense of his own life, seba would do it ten times over. he had seen the way the infection had festered across the nation, and even closer to home. it has turned normal people into contract killers, forced people to adapt in ways they never thought they could.

he knew very little about the world outside of the quarantine zone, but he certainly knew what could come for them. they were living on borrowed time. and while his heart felt heavy examining rafael's battered body -- it was the people like him that kept them alive. protected. able to extend what once had been much less.

he never pushed his sister to speak about life before dallas, life when he was at the mercy of the world around them. however, he remembered their reunion like it was yesterday. not just the memory itself, but the vow he had made. he would never let her go again.

" i'm not.. " he admits honestly, outstretching an arm to lead the other down a familiar path. there are times when seba can't help his honesty. and while he's not surprised he will once again be examining rafael for injuries -- he's more so worried than anything else. at the mention of trying to take care of the wound himself, seba is once again taken aback -- even if it's only for a moment. as the other sits, seba's hand reaches out with a familiar gentleness as he turns rafael's injured cheek to face him. " i'm going to begin by cleaning out your cheek, alright? just to prevent infection. " a hand reaches towards his supplies before turning to face the other once more. " can you tell me what happened? "

[peepawjoels-deactivated20240719]

Dylan watches him take the shot quick, one swift motion as the alcohol burns down his throat and pulls his face into a hard grimace. Yeah, she's seen that expression before. She feels the bubbling sensation of a laugh as it rises in her chest, hiding it as she leans down under the bar to return the bottle home, rising with a shake of her head and her lips pursed indifferently, "If it helps, I can say no." She shrugs, tongue poking against her inner check as she prods him further, "What's tonight's reason? You know, no one I've know likes to come drink here unless there's some type of reason. It's bad wine and even worse liquor so—"

Maybe it was a little too forward, but Dylan didn't get where she was without being a little impersonal and tricking people into talking as the night went on—it's how she retained the juiciest of gossip. Not that that was what she was attempting on him, but he seemed a little burdened and Dylan would be lying if she said she wasn't interested in exploring that. The bar was the only place she felt there was an even playing field with people, having felt the instant judge of naivety toward her being younger than most of the residents of the QZ. She wasn't terribly young, but she didn't grow up here either, so she constantly felt like she was playing catch-up.

[sebcastillo]

ALCOHOL HAS NEVER BEEN his friend, more of a distant acquaintance. one that gives him the confidence to spin threds of words together that he never thought he would before. it makes him feel that he could stand atop a mountain when in reality -- he remains stagnant. it is a contradiction that has caused him to mostly avoid stepping closer towards another drunken evening, but something in the air told him he could handle it. what he had seemed to forget, was that time comes with a tarnished tolerance. even still, he knew what he was here for. the company.

sebastian castillo had always been a recluse, but one born out of circumstance. he enjoyed talking with others, but feared above all else, being a burden. everyone else was drowning in shit to deal with -- simply being alive when the world feels like it's out to get you. why should he add his own problems to the mix? the woman in front of him seemed to wear a demeanor very similar to many of the people he had met -- both within his examination room as well as amongst the general public, but there was something else. a biting whit, a light that he had missed quite deeply.

his laughter comes naturally, so much so that it surprises even him. " it would actually be worse if you lied to me. being a doctor -- i've come to learn when people aren't telling the truth. " he chuckles, fingers toying with the rim of the glass. speaking about his profession was something he wasn't quite sure how to handle. he didn't want to feel like he was gloating, making himself seem better than others. in reality, everyone was just trying their hardest to do their part. " would it be weird if i simply just... didn't have one? " he pauses after spending a couple beats deep in thought. he truly didn't have a reason.. except for getting out of his own head. " okay well... how about a change of pace? usually i'd be asleep or drowning out the world with a book. "

[axulrich]

Sebastian wasn't the first person to be bestowed the gifts of Axel's labor, but he's definitely getting the extra effort that a lot of other people don't receive. He's kind enough to pack away extra meals for the soldiers and bounty hunters of the QZ, keep the dining hall open a couple hours later for the people just trickling in from their shifts, who are looking for a hot meal to end their night, and maybe that's because he can be a little too generous. But, it isn't without purpose.

Axel hears the faint click as he's mere seconds away from locking his own door, glancing over his shoulder briefly at the voice to see the man on the other side. There's no reason for Axel to beam as brightly and as happily as he does, but he knows his smile is a charmer in itself. He opens his door a little further, leaning himself against the door frame as he fumbles with his keys in his left hand, right palm settled against his hip.

"Little birdie told me you were busy up at the infirmary," He's lying—so, so fucking lying. He's visited enough times to see Sebastian wrapped up in his own work. He didn't need a nudge or a reason to do what he did, because not everyone had ulterior motives (most of them did, yeah—and axel isn't the best guy, but he's not a total dickhead), "it's mostly leftover pasta, but I threw in some fresh sourdough and some jerky—they try to stash it away for the patrol people, but uh—" Axel feels a little fumble-y with his words, the intense eyes of his neighbor as he listens intently. Axel might a been a charmer of his own, but he wasn't immune to others', "—anyways, I won't keep you." Yet, for some reason, neither of them find any reason to move.

[sebcastillo]

WHEN ONE LIVES IN the apartments -- they become used to the hum of life, the brooding sound as they pass each other by. even still, axel and sebastian seem to cross paths more frequently than others -- causing the tendency to feel. when he felt he felt boundlessly, and there was no means to an end. that is -- until the world had fallen into a state of inevitable decay. the probability of universe's waiting game coming to an end was more and more likely in this new world ( even if twenty years had come and gone, this was not the world he had been promised as a young boy ). and while he pay not have wanted it to end, he inevitably had no choice. no agency. he clung to his humanity like a badge of honor, but seba knew that he had to be cautious, afraid.

and god, he can't deny that axel is handsome. pleasing to the eye in a way that one felt at first as a child, when they were told not to play with fire. the world they lived in left little room for such tenderness, especially the kind that he had noticed begin to drip from the other's smile. it was a luxury he wouldn't dare ignore, no matter who from. in a world of everyone for themselves, company was rare.

an apartment building on a rickety foundation meant that the walls were thinner than a single sheet of paper. and while seba leads a very isolated life -- he's no stranger to the sound of axel's... friends. he's not even sure what the right word is. and yet, to think that he would be so kind to think of him made seba realize just how wrong he was about him.

" well.. the birdie was correct. " he says, face flushing for a moment as his eyes commit the patterns of dirt along his shoes to memory. when he finally meets the other's gaze once more, he notices the other's missteps. " that's really sweet of you to think of me, axel. thank you. " anyways, i won't keep you. seba fights to outstretch a hand as if to say don't, no wait.. but the seconds between then and the familiar sound of axel's door shutting are disappearing before his very eyes. the words don't come to him initially, but axel seems to have him surprising himself.

" axel -- "

he pauses, inhaling before speaking once more. " you could join me.. if you're not busy. " that's better. " after all.. i have a feeling i'll need to give my compliments to the chef. "