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@sebkyle-blog
You’re bad.
[He lifts a brow.] You just want to get me embarrassed.
Mmhm. Naughty Sebastian.
You shouldn’t be embarrassed to flex for me. It’s just me. Cm’on. [He leans down, pecking a kiss to Caleb’s lip.] Pretty please. For your cute boyfriend.
[Caleb pulls a face.] Shh. Stop.
[He lets Sebastian bring his hands up, curling his fingers happily around the narrow curve of Sebastian’s hips, feeling the warmth of his skin.]
Oh, you think so?
Shan’t.
[Seb’s own hands glide back down Caleb’s arms to his biceps, giving them a squeeze.] I know so. Mm. Flex for me.
[He settles comfortably on his back when Seb pushes him down, smiling a bit at Seb’s words.] Of course I do.
[His voice is soft to match his eyes, all gooey and stupid. It was true - as much as he teased Seb he didn’t really have eyes for anyone else. Not even the Queen herself.
Caleb hums as Seb’s hips roll, his hands coming up to rest on Seb’s thighs.]
I think we’ve got time for the full lesson.
[Seb smiles at his boyfriend’s sweet face.] You’re so cute when you get all honest and sweet. Drives me crazy.
[Seb laughs a little, setting his own hands on top of Caleb’s for a moment before wrapping around the man’s rusts and pulling his hands up further, beneath his pajama shirt to rest on his hips.]
I dunno, puppy. You might be begging for the quick one later.
[Caleb laughs a little, shrugging his shoulders a bit.] You are biased - I’m your boooyfriend. [He drags the word out childishly, still tickled pink at the thought.] And you have to think I’m the hottest. It’s the rules.
[He cocks a brow.] Yeah? You’d have to explain it to me - I’m not sure if I’ve heard of it.
[Seb pushes Caleb’s shoulders, straddling his waist.] If that’s how it is, you have to think I’m the hottest too. Hotter than Beyonce. [Seb raised his eyebrow, as if challenging Caleb.]
[He breaks into a grin again though, at Caleb’s words, and slowly starts to gyrate his hips.] You want the quick lesson or the full lesson?
[Caleb laughs.] Thanks for bein’ biased.
[He shrugs a little, pecking a little kiss to Seb’s lower lip.] I like making you come, though. You look so good when you do.
Biased? You want me to run a poll on which Yankee’s the most hot? Because based on your player portraits alone, you look like a fucking model compared to the rest of the guys.
[Seb kisses Caleb right back.] Well maybe we could work out a deal where we both come. I think people call it “having sex,” or something.
I don’t think they’re intimidated. They’re just a little no homo, y’know?
[He squirms, grabbing Seb’s hands to stop him from tickling him more.] Yeah. Then I’m gonna make you come.
[Seb snorts.] Fair enough. You’re still the most handsome out of all of ‘em, anyway.
[Seb shakes his head.] Nu-uh. I’ve gotta make you come. It’s your birthday.
[She just stares at him for a moment, fingers dragging through her chestnut locks.] I didn’t do it on purpose, you know. I didn’t…I didn’t just wake up one day and think to myself, ‘Hey, I’m going to fuck up Zach’s life and decline the proposal, and while I’m at it maybe I’ll drop a few of my friends.’ That’s not who I am, and you know it. Yes, I know I hurt him and I know I dragged you guys down in the process. That wasn’t my intention.
[Sydney takes half a step back, clenching her fist so that her nails dug into her palm.] I was…It felt like I had those days, you know? The days where, even if I looked intensely into a mirror, I still didn’t see myself. And that was scary. That, and–I’m just so tired of carrying this anxiety with me, Sebastian. It’s like a constant weight on my shoulders. And you know I’ve struggled with it–why do you think I’d been flightier than usual on days when I should’ve been taking care of my business?
It had nothing to do with you, or with your brother. It had to do with me accepting that there is something wrong with me. And there’s–there are people who look at me like I’m the most precious stone in the world and I kind of just want to scream at them because they don’t know the half of it. Yes, I know that had I just opened up to you, to Holden, to Zach–hell, to Caleb, I wouldn’t have run. But humans….We’re not meant to solve everything so precisely. And I’m really, truly sorry that I just left you in the dust but I didn’t know what else to do.
[She exhales shakily, willing herself to stay collected in front of Sebastian.It works, for about a minute. And as a tear falls, she manages to get out more words.]
I didn’t expect everything to be all hunky dory, nor did I ever expect to use that phrase ever in my life, but–again, I’m sorry I left you with the brunt of the impact. And that’s really all I can say, because it’s pointless to make up excuses and this and that. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if both of you were done with me. I struggled with that on the train ride over here, but it’s–it’s one of the things my therapist said I had to be prepared for. So…I am.
[Seb frowns a little as he listens to Sydney--he doesn’t quite get it but for her sake, he’s trying. Because he really wants to believe that Sydney isn’t a bad person--some part of him knows she isn’t, but the more stubborn part of him isn’t so easily convinced. He listens and listens, and shakes his head, looking at the ground a little. He’s angry, because Seb of all people knows the feeling of being flighty. The thing is, this is the only time he’s had to deal with someone else being flighty, and it wasn’t pleasant.]
It’s just not fair. Even if you’re struggling, you’re... you’re supposed to let the people who care about you, help you. Not just run off. Maybe I’m not the best example but at least... at least when I run off, it’s not for months. It’s not fair.
[He swallows when he sees Syd tear up, and he nods at her apology. It’s not enough, but it’s something, and Seb still has a soft enough spot for her to be able to understand, or at least try.]
Thanks for apologizing. And... Zach... [Seb goes quiet for a few moments.] It hasn’t been easy for him. He’s not in great shape. He’s really, really not.
[Seb looks down.] I mean, you guys were talking about like, marriage and shit.
[Caleb shakes his head.] I really doubt they’d invite me if there was a locker room orgy.
[Caleb squirms as Seb tickles him, letting out a noise of complaint.] Hey! We’re supposed to be kissing, not tickling!
Why do you say that? You’re the first person I’d invite. You’re also the hottest on the team. Maybe they’re intimidated by you.
[Seb tickles him more.] Oh, are we? That’s what we’re supposed to be doing?
[Caleb has to break away from the kiss ‘cause he gets all giggly at Sebastian’s words - childish as hell but he can’t really help it. He’s still a little goofy from not enough sleep and he’s in such a good mood that they just fall from his lips despite himself.]
Oh you know how it is, huh? Life isn’t porn.
[Seb giggles too as Caleb pulls away.] See? Giggly. Anyway I hope not, because if you’re having locker room orgies and I’m at least not invited I would be upset.
[Seb tickles Caleb’s sides, laughing.]
What, you think I go around goosin’ other people like some weird serial ass grabber?
[He lifts his chin willingly, returning the kiss as their lips meet. He hums a little noise as Seb speaks, hand flexing around the little handful of ass once more.]
Mmm. Missed grabbin’ you.
I hear things about locker rooms, Caleb. Always smacking eachoher’s asses, I know how it is.
[Seb lifts a leg to lock around Caleb’s waist, humming against his mouth.]
Good.
Nah, that’s you.
[He grins as Seb pulls him in closer, keeping his palm planted firmly on Sebastian’s little butt.] Only for you, baby.
Mm. Better be only for me, jerk.
[Seb pulls away and tilts Caleb’s face up to face him, leaning down to kiss him.] Missed how grabby you are. Want more.
[Caleb snorts, pulling a face.]
I’m not giggly. Shuddup.
[Caleb grins as Seb mentions his ass, hand scooting under him to give it a gentle grab.]
Giggliest--ah.
[Seb giggles himself as Caleb gooses him rolling onto his side and snuggling Caleb into his chest, burying his face in his hair.] Grabby, too.
[Sydney just snort of recoils, chewing harshly on her lower lip. Of course he’s right, and she feels a hell of a lot younger than she really is in that moment. She nods slowly, letting a soft breath fall from her lips.]
I don’t expect you to.
[Her words are soft, and despite being inside a building, she’s abnormally chilly. She debates asking about Zach–but again, it’s not really her place to.And she won’t give him any explanations–partly because they’ll sound like excuses and it’s abundantly clear that they won’t be worth a thing. Sydney can’t help but think that if this had happened a year ago, she would’ve been a little bit stronger. But now, she’s not so sure. She squares her jaw, clearing her throat and willing the stinging in the corners of her eyes to go away.]
I–I should, um, get on that.
[Seb raises his eyebrows.]
Funny you asked, then.
[Seb looks her over for a moment crossing his arms. It’s apparent that Sydney’s shaken by Seb’s words--but dammit, she should be. Sydney of all people should understand that it just wasn’t okay to up and leave like that.]
Yeah, probably.
[He shifts his arms a little bit, looking down at the ground.] So where’d you go, anyway? Or why, might be a better question.
[Caleb laughs - giggles is probably the more appropriate term - and kisses his boyfriend’s neck a little.]
Oh yeah. Being outside and playing a sport is so nerdy.
I’m not talking shit. It’s banter.
It is nerdy, just a different kind of nerdy, you big, giggly baby.
Banter my ass.
[And there’s that sting–the one that’s really only ever present in true Sebastian form. It hurts, but considering all the preparations she’s made, Sydney can actually take it.]
No, I’m done running.
[She shoves her hands in her pockets, biting her lip] I fucked up, Sebastian. I did…what I saw so many other people do–you know, the kind of people in the movies you hate for running from their shit at the worst possible second. I didn’t come back here for forgiveness. I’m not going to grovel or ask you to understand even a fraction of–well, any of it. I’m not going to fish out any excuses, because there are none. And I know that.
[She pauses, forcing herself to swallow] I don’t even deserve to know how Zach’s doing, either. I don’t…I don’t know what to do, really.
[Seb purses his lips as he listens, nodding slowly and crossing his arms.]
You’re right. You did fuck up. And you probably don’t deserve to know, either. I mean, a fucking phone call, or a text, or anything might’ve helped. The way you were gone, you might as well have been dead.
[He waves his hand dismissively.] But that’s all just hindsight. Right now it might be important to either give my brother a call or go to the apartment yourself and see, because there’s no way I’m relaying anything to you.
Philosophy Now? I didn’t realize you nerds had a magazine.
[He smiles, fingers creeping up over Sebastian’s ribs, tracing the lines of them as he listens to his boyfriend speak.]
Good. Means you won’t be ditchin’ me any time soon.
Fuck off. You are so rude. You sportos are the nerds, knowing the names of everybody on every team and what way to throw the ball is best. Get lost.
[Seb hums a little ticklishly as he feels Caleb’s fingers bump across his ribs.]
Unless you keep talkin’ shit.
Oooh. I’m so impressed. [His tone is soft, teasing as he mumbles, fingers still touching Seb’s skin.] Mmm. Sometimes.
We’re allowed to be - no one else will have to know. I wouldn’t wanna be gross with anyone else.
Excuse you. Rude. When I get published in Philosophy Now you’ll eat your words.
Mmm. Mhmm. Me neither. M’pretty ruined by you. I can’t ever see myself feeling this way about someone else. Maybe those are heady words but god, it’s true.
