All the things she said 🧡

Em. 31. CustardCreamies on ao3. 18+ you have been warned.

[seboobsupremacy]

MANY FACES OF SIMI STARTS TOMORROW!

Hey guys! I am so excited to say that tomorrow is the 5th January, which means it's the first day of the Many Faces Of Simi!

Day 5 is of course Seb centric around the theme of "New Beginnings" and on the 7th it's Kimi's turn with the same theme!

The fic should be added to the collection which is here Once you upload it will be approved by the mods which is myself and @raikkonenvettels if you cannot see your fic in the collection please dm either of us so we can approve and upload it!

You can also upload your art to AO3 too! But if you're struggling to upload it please post it to tumblr with the #manyfacesofsimi hash tag.

Everything posted to tumblr (fic or art) should be tagged with my tumblr and with the #manyfacesofsimi hashtag!

Please also post it to the Simi Tumblr community which is here:

Simi nation • Community on Tumblr

119 members, 67 posts about #Sebastian Vettel #Kimi Raikkonen #Formula one • A community for Simi F1 fans!

We have also got a rather lovely bingo card made by the amazing @theflyingfinn7 please use this to keep track of your posting!

Reminder: this is just for fun! The event is low stress and not every day needs to be done! Fics are also a minimum of 300 words and art can be any medium!

One last thing: we also have a Simi Discord. I would LOVE to see you guys there, providing you are over 18! Please dm me.

On Discord you can chat to the mods and meet all the other cool peeps involved in our wonderful ship!

I hope you have fun! 🧡 I cannot wait to see your creations! 🥰

[kimttaejji]

[seboobsupremacy]

AU where Shane gets injured and he can´t play hockey profesionally again, it´s really depressing for him because his whole life he was supposed to be the best hockey player and now after a injury its all lost... STILL he gets a job offer to be the coach of the Centaurs, he would be the youngest best paid coach in the world at 25 and he gets to be close to hockey, which he loves.

He goes out with Rose and his friends to a bar to celebrate the new job and meets this Russian super hot guy, they hook up, one night stand, he doesn´t even speak english really well but well they didn´t even talked a lot right? He thinks he would never see him again.

For Shane´s bad luck, he gets fucking pregnant. At his first day of his new job, guess who is the new Rookie? This Russian guy.

Oh my god YES.

This is delicious. Shane having to coach the man who got him pregnant. Even worse if Ilya was drunk when they had sex so he doesn't even remember Shane 👀

[seboobsupremacy]

shane being very worried about becoming super sensory averse while pregnant, only to turn out the complete opposite. he is so sensory seeking that it almost becomes annoying.

his food cravings are based on texture rather than taste. he has the urge to chew on everything. sometimes, it feels like he will be sick if he doesn't have something to fidget with. he has very specific blankets and sweaters that he rotates between depending on the fabric feel he wants at that moment. he is just constantly and viscerally aware of everything around him and needs to know how it feels.

So this for me made me think of Shane developing pica during pregnancy. He needs to chew the most inedible things he can find. Ilya has to make sure he doesn't actively swallow whatever item he is chewing. It's weird. Shane has never had pica before, but the pregnancy makes him crave the weirdest things to emotionally regulate his body.

Somehow the pica disappears once the baby is born, but they now know this can happen during pregnancy.

[seboobsupremacy]

Full term Shane inists on going out with Ilya for groceries/walk in the park/errands and Ilya is s t r e s s e d. He looks at Shane as he’s a tickling bomb and he’s sure their baby is going to drop on the sidewalk.

Shane on the other hand wants!!! to show!!! he’s still!!! a capable and adult man who can Get Things Done (and also maybe he’s extra clingy and doesn’t want to stay away from his husband)

Omg Shane in my head HATES being micromanaged. He gets that Ilya is anxious, this is their first baby and of course they're both nervous. But Shane wants to do things like he usually does. Especially when he's banned from the hockey rink now that he is too big to skate safely anymore.

So Shane goes with Ilya everywhere and this becomes his new routine, just walking around town with Ilya running errands. It gives him the stability he needs, plus he spends time with Ilya, who he now wants to stay close to.

Ilya hates it, but he has to admit Shane seems more relaxed when he allows him to just be Shane? Maybe he is too anxious, but this is out of love.

[flamingplay]

[jeonjam-deactivated20180304]

GO ON ANON AND ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT

[penandinkprincess]

On chonky baby Shane:

I think Ilya "cuteness aggression" Rozanov will not sufficiently think through what it would be like for their kid to have Shane's DNA until the kid's like 6 months old and Ilya walks through the door one day and finds a kid who looks EXACTLY like Shane's baby pictures in their living room.

I feel like seeing pictures of fat baby shane is at least A LITTLE BIT a primary motivation behind wanting to use his sperm for their kids. ilya will get to squish Fat Baby Hollander cheeks so help him GOD.

[penandinkprincess]

alternatively: if they end up not having kids or not having biological kids, the genes for Giant Fat Baby came from the hollander side, and now ilya gets to go to hollander family events and hold MULTIPLE giant babies.

which also works out well as a nice break for especially the moms of these absolute Specimens of roly poly baby because giant baby is a different burden for 6 foot hockey player than it is for 5'4 mom about to get tennis elbow hauling this chonker around all the time.

just a perfect symbiosis of parent who needs a muscle break 🤝 giant hockey player THRILLED to be holding this pudgy little dumpling of a baby because it scratches the itch of needing to squish baby shane's cheeks every single time he looks at a photo

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

not everyone deserves the amount of kindness and forgiveness you’re willing to give

[prescription-cactus]

what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog to throw tomatoes at people who harass/shame others over fiction.

also reblog to give fanfic writers the love and courage to write whatever they want—however they want—forever.

[pineappical]

cuteness aggression

[markovchaingang]

in academia. straight up "winging it". and by "it", haha, well. lets justr say. My theasits

[zer0caffeine]

Original post by @morallygrayautisticscientist here, this post was so funny I decided to draw it lol.

For those of you who joked about Stratt projecting her period cramps on Grace, I drew that too here.

Panel by panel below:

[fuuuckwhoknows]

I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

[squimpch]

I'M CRYING

[kittenkeke]

Mika Häkkinen pushes his daughter in her pram whilst rollerblading | Monaco | 2011