Ever think about how Lando has met a bunch of his favorite DJs and then they're like "oh let me buy you a necklace, Lando" "oh let me teach you how to DJ, Lando" "Lando is my best friend" "oh you want to take over my set? sure thing, Lando" "oh let me hug you like my survival depends on it, Lando" "my vacation villa is your vacation villa, Lando" "oh do you want to meet my parents? come meet my parents, Lando" "oh do you want to ride on my private jet, Lando? I'll take you anywhere, Lando" "do you want to join my family vacation, Lando?" "oh let me say I love you in a video being posted to your employer's social channels, Lando" "oh Lando? we had an instant connection"
pre arrakis paul atreides is such a freak, he spends his days in that stone cold castle, his mother teaches him the weird ways of ultimate body control and observation owl-witch style, his hot swordmaster shows him how to play with knives, his war-worn troubadour shows him the ways of life through songs and proverbs, his fathers master assassin is teaching him to become a human computer, he has mildly premonitory feverdreams that haunt his every night. he is obsessed with dune. he is a poorly socialized little freak.
Forgot to post the fanart of Dune from last year. I like these books so much, and I like new movies' esthetics and Dune Awakening is no less than addicting
Do you think it’s likely that Lando will demand changes to the papaya rules in his contract negotiations that I assume will be coming up in the near future? He has all the leverage and is clearly sick and tired of some of this shit, I was pleasantly surprised by how vocal he was about it on Sunday I have never seen him be like that before. I cannot believe they treat a WDC the same way someone who finished P3 and is unable to adapt to the new regs 💀💀💀
I'd assume so.
Between the salary rumours, him saying being World Champion means he can finally say "no" and how much bolder he's become publicly, I'd be shocked if he wasn't negotiating from a position of strength. And honestly...why shouldn't he? Even before the title, his years at McLaren and the amount of development work he's done should've put him in a different category.
I don't think he's marching into upper management's office demanding they scrap the "papaya family" gimmick. That's about 80% of McLaren's marketing strategy.
But I'd be surprised if he wasn't quietly baking things in for himself.
Because what's the point of becoming World Drivers' Champion if you're still expected to behave (and treated) like Orange Employee #47?
He'll always be Lando. He'll always share the credit.
But at some point the team has to acknowledge that he's the World Champion. He earned the right to be treated better, by being better.
Actually dying laughing at all of the F1 gossip accounts being like BREAKING NEWS LANDO HUGGED BLONDE WOMEN only to find out that it's David Guetta's daughter and ex-wife (who is older than Lando's mother).
His automatic reaction was to burry his head into Martin's chest, tugging the blankets higher. He hoped to disappear, to hide the way his blush stained his cheeks and neck and chest.
But Martin didn't let him.
He was right there with warm, soft hands. Holding Lando close, pressing a kiss to his curls as Lando tried to hide.
This was the third time that Lando had woken up in Martin's bed and the first time that he had stayed long enough to wake up with Martin.
For once, Lando hadn't woken up before Martin and crept out the door. He wasn't carefully picking his way through the other's apartment, careful of anything that could make noise of wake him.
This time, Lando had stayed just like he had promised Martin that he would.
"Don't hide", Martin laughed, voice deep from sleep and fond in a way Lando didn't think he deserved.
" 'm not", Lando muttered against the pale skin of his collarbone, lips brushing skin that he had kissed the night before, " 'm sleeping"
Hands soothed down his back, making him shiver when fingers brushed that one sensitive spot.
"Mhm, you're fast asleep", Martin teased softly.
"Yep, I'm sleep talking", Lando played along, waiting for the flush to leave his cheeks but he knew it wouldn't. Not when Martin was right here, being sweet and caring.
"Well, if you're sleeping, maybe now is the perfect time to list all the way I find you incredibly endearing and sweet and gorgeous and -"
Lando's hand moved on it's own.
It clamped over Martin's mouth, muffling his words and laughter as Lando's ears burned.
"I hate you", Lando groaned, "I should have snuck out while you were sleeping. Continued the pattern"
Martin said something but Lando couldn't piece it together.
Stillm, he didn't lift his hand from Martin's mouth.
Instead he lifted his head enough to make eye contact and got lost in just how express Martin's eyes were.
His fingers itched for a pencil or pen. He wanted to draw his eyes so badly, to commit the look in them to paper for fear he ever forgot just how much Martin could say while saying nothing at all.
No one had ever looked at Lando like this.
It made him tingle all over and want to melt into the mattres.
Slowly, his hand fell from Martin's mouth and Martin, ever surprising, leaned forward to kiss his palm so sweetly it hurt.
"I'm glad you stayed", Martin's eyes shone with the honesty of his words.
And Lando felt his breath catch in his chest because he was glad too.
He just didn't know how to say it yet.
So he leaned in, not caring about morning breath or chapped lips, and kissed Martin in a way that was so soft and pure that it had his own toes curling.
Yeah, he thought as a hand shifted up his back until it tangled in his curls so Martin could keep kissing him soft and sweet and unrushed, he was glad he didn't leave too.
thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3
I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales.
But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.
Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:
And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans!
But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators.
We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free.
In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)
There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:
And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:
There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered.
The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:
Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!
I absolutely adore Humboldt squid. I saw a doc once where a scientist was cage diving to study them, and one of the squid squeezed it's entire massive body through the cage bars, bit the guy and squeezed right back out.
Why isnt this an animal that's already long gone viral like honey badgers once did. This is the animal that actually gives no fucks. People really are just that obsessed with bigger squids I guess? But the bigger ones frankly come across as big softies in comparison. One big sea monster can never be as intimidating as a thousand coordinated man sized sea monsters.
This is why I thought that if mermaids had a cultural equivalent to lycanthropy it'd be weresquids. Fun fact nocturnal marine life increases activity on the brightest nights ie the full moon.
I know we talk a a lot about Lando being in men’s arms and what a likely place it is for him to be but I think we don’t talk enough about the amount of men who want to have Lando in their arms
