Just a boy

Joss Martin, claimed submissive, arrived May 2014 to Orenda Estates

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

[begforxit]

Cade smiled a sort of sad smile as he looked at Joss, shaking and gripping him, his own orbs stained with tears looking back at Joss. He reached up, hand brushing Joss’s cheek, just pushing the wet from under his eyes, he stared at him. “Edward made it clear I wasn’t to hurt you.” His words came gently, “I love you, Joss. But, this is goodbye. Even if you see me again, it’s not as my pup. It’s not the same, don’t lie to yourself, don’t give yourself false hope. It’s just going to hurt more. You called me, Master once, so listen to me, Joss. This is an order, you will love Avery and Edward with everything you’ve got, from now until the end of time. You will keep me in your heart, but you will leave me behind, you have to let me go or you’re never going to be happy. We can’t be sitting here pining for each other, wishing things were different, it’ll kill us both. I have to let you go or I’m always going to hate myself for everything I fucked up. So I order you, to live your claim and someday…when I’m older and I turn around and see you there, I’ll know you’re happy because you followed this order and it will make me feel like maybe I did one thing right. That I fucking did right by you.” 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Again, he didn't know what to say. Tears welled up in his eyes again, shining bright, gathering against the bottom lids. initially, he wanted to rebel. He wanted to insist he couldn't. The idea not only broke his heart, but it scared him. To have a life where he wasn't in love with Cade... it had barely been a year since they met, since they fell hard and fast into this addicting kind of love, and he'd changed him forever. They had both been through a lot - Cade more than Joss - but the one thing he had always held on to, even when he was falling in love again or hitting rock bottom was that he loved Cade, and Cade loved him. To not have that was terrifying. And yet, he knew he had to obey. They both had to move on. His jaw trembled, and he nodded. "Yes, Sir," he whispered, closing his eyes, more tears dripping down his cheeks. Joss wrapped his arms around the Dom again, clinging tightly, not quite willing to let him go yet. If this was really goodbye, he wasn't letting go until he absolutely was forced to.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

[begforxit]

He didn’t speak, just let Joss go on, his arms tight around those shoulders. He could feel the way he kissed, the desperate way he clang to him, he nuzzled his nose against Joss softly, “Silly Pup. I left. You had to have someone to care for you. I just wish…” He paused, not wanting the next words to come out, but they did, “I just wish it was someone who actually…I’m sorry Joss, I’m sorry I ever left. I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t kill those bastards who hurt Cassidy and I’m sorry I didn’t take you with me when I left.” His words came out in a flow, just dumping from his lips, “I’m sorry I ever hurt you and I will never ever let you out of my heart, but this is…this might be kind of like forev…Joss, you have your master now, your dom, I can’t come between that…I will never let you go, not really…” He was struggling to find the right words as he kissed Joss’s lips passionately, needy, “We have to…” 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Everything Cade said, Joss didn't know how to respond to. He couldn't say it was okay, because it wasn't. Both of them hurt, so badly, despite the other good they had in their lives. They had men who loved them, and yet, losing this love was tearing them both apart. His head shook, even as he returned the kiss, and he put his hands on Cade's shoulders to shake him a bit. "No. It's not forever, don't you dare fucking say this will be forever." He looked him, eyes wet and still dripping with tears, the green sparkling with emotion. "It's not. You won't come between us, you... Edward knows, okay? He knows I'll always love you, and he accepts it. You won't come between us."

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

[begforxit]

The kiss came as a surprise, he hadn’t expected it. Joss wasn’t his, not now, not ever again. He belonged to another, he wore another man’s collar from here  on out. His pup. He melted a bit at the kiss, tears had stained his face. He grabbed him and just held on, “I…stay close to Avery. Be his, he deserves you.” He let the unspoken words that Edward didn’t deserve him linger in the air, he wouldn’t poison Joss against his new master, he refused to do something of that sort. His head turned, kissing Joss again now, slow and easy, “You’re not mine now Pup. I will always love you, but you have to go now and it hurts and I’ll miss you. But, it’s the way life has to be…” He was doing his best to be rational, to be how he had been taught to be, “You’ll never not be family, you hear me? You are a Riviera. Even if it’s not in name. You’re my family.” 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Joss swallowed hard and nodded. "I will." He knew how Cade felt about his relationship with Edward. He hadn't made a secret of it. But despite what it appeared to be, the relationship was strong, and Edward had his heart, and his loyalty. He always would, even though Joss knew he would never stop loving Cade. His hands raked through the Dom's hair, the kiss tasting of tears. "I know, but it's not... forever. It's not," he said firmly. Joss couldn't fathom the idea of never seeing Cade again. He just couldn't. It wasn't... something that could fit in his head. "You're mine too. I love you so fucking much, Cade..." He let out a shaking sigh. "Sometimes I wished... I could have been stronger, and waited for you," he admitted in a soft whisper.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

[begforxit]

He just held onto him, those words hit him through Joss’s tears, the three words he longed to hear from Joss. He just gripped him, kissing at his cheek as he pulled back, his neck wet with Joss’s tears, just feeling his back muscles, his arms, his shoulders, anything he could grab. He looked at him, “I hate this…I tried…I just… I love you.” He was trying to say so much, but no words came, he was overwhelmed with emotion. 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Joss lifted his head and curled his hands around Cade's jaw, pulling him into a desperate, passionate kiss. He might get in trouble for it, but he couldn't help it. He needed to say goodbye to his Cade. "Talk to me... I hate this too, Cade, I hate it so much. But like I said... it won't be forever. It can't be forever. I'll get on a fucking plane by myself if I have to, I will see you again, and Michael."

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

[begforxit]

Cade had made his way down, Joss had beaten him easily, it being so much closer to his villa. He was nearly to the beach, when he saw Joss and he couldn’t stop himself from running, full on sprinting until he was at Joss’s side, nearly tackling him as he wrapped him in his arms, just hugging him as tight as possible. Cade had no words, he just held on to Joss like a lifeline. 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

He wasn't surprised that he was nearly tackled by the Dom he was meeting. Joss turned and curled himself into the man's arms, face pressing against his neck. His crying only intensified once he was clinging to Cade. Hands frantically stroked over the familiar body, like Joss was trying to memorize the feeling of his hair, his neck, his shoulders... anything he could reach. "I love you," he managed to whisper wetly, voice shaking with emotion.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: I promise to cuddle you so hard when you get back. I know this is hard for you Joss. Te amo.

PM: Te quiero. I can't let Master see me like this.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: Okay. Say bye to Cade for me.

PM: I will. I'm sorry if I'm completely useless when I come back.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Goodbye || Joss/Cade, 11/23

He'd been crying since he left the villa. He couldn't let go in front of Avery, not when his lover was already so stressed out. But it felt like his heart was breaking already. Leaving with Avery and Edward was like something out of a dream. Leaving Cade and Michael... was like his own personal hell. Sitting on the sand, Joss bowed his head, burying his face in his arms as he cried softly. Losing his first love, his first true Dom had killed him the first time. Leaving him now was even worse. 

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: I can't. I have to find everything. I still need to pack up the kitchen stuff and there's the rest of Maestro's things too. He'll do his work stuff but I need to get everything else ready.

PM: Avery... please just... try to relax, okay? I'm going out for a little while. I need to say goodbye to someone.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: I just have to find everything. We aren't coming back this time. That sweater looks good on you. I can't find Maestro's grey suit. I think maybe it was dry-cleaned. I'm going to the main building to check.

PM: Baby. I think I might know where it is. Just... calm down for a little bit, okay? Take a bath and relax.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: I thought I made sure all the cases were empty before I started packing again. I have all your books and your music packed. I just can't find a few items of clothing. I'm going to check your carry-on.

PM: Ave. Baby. Calm down.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: I can't find your grey sweater. It isn't in the laundry. I thought you wanted to wear it tomorrow for the plane.

PM: I did... hm. Did it get unpacked in the first place?

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

F2F || Foss

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

Edward listened to Joss speak, taking in his words and trying to navigate through them without speaking to hastily. “I think that it’s great you’re honest with me. I have to say that Cade messaged me and told me that the only reason you were choosing to be with me was because of Avery. Is that true?” He was calm as always as he waited for Joss’ reply. “I just want you to know that I love you. So so much. I know that there will be hard times, but I know we’ll work through them. I do trust you and if you do want to spend time with Cade or Cass in the future, I won’t stop you, but I’ll hope you’ll make a wise decision on how that time is spent.”

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

His lips pursed slightly. "There was... a period of time where I thought that. You were so busy with work and Cade was back and he... he was so attentive and loving and adoring, I thought... I had a moment of weakness. But we're better now. We've worked through that. I know I love you, Edward, separately from our relationship with Avery." Joss swallowed hard, thinking about that. "I... I will. I will never lie to you and say I won't be tempted, or that I don't love them. But I will honor our commitment to each other, to Avery... I would never betray that."

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

F2F || Foss

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

Edward wasn’t a fool. There were aspects to Joss that they hadn’t fully worked through. He didn’t want to kid himself that Joss only loved him and Avery, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up without it turning into resentment for the ones that still had a hold on Joss. “Is everything okay?” He asked, trying to rouse something out of his submissive. He wrapped his arms low on his waist and met the kiss with pleasure. “I just want you to be truly happy.”

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

He licked his lips, wrapping his arms around Edward's neck to hug him closer. The sub rested his head on his Dom's shoulder, taking a moment before speaking. "I am happy. Being with you and Avery, our trip... it was amazing, Master," Joss murmured, kissing the side of Edward's neck warmly. "It's just hard. Cade was... I loved him hard, and I never fully stopped. And knowing I won't really see him again is just difficult to deal with. Not to mention, Cass - Michael, it's just... difficult," he said quietly.

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

F2F || Foss

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

"You. It’s always you, babe." Edward said as he knelt down next to Joss. He just watched him as he moved. He knew that there wasn’t a real place yet for him to do his yoga poses, but he had a surprise waiting for his pup once they were officially back in Ireland and in their permanent home. "I’m having a yoga room made for you. There are plenty of rooms in the new house, but this one overlooks the estate. It has french doors that open up to a balcony, so you can let fresh air in when it isn’t too chilly. I researched the right type of flooring and everything. All it will need is your input on colors to paint. But all the equipment you’ll need will be there too. I just want you to have your special space to do this." He smiled at Joss, hoping he would like the idea. He wanted him to feel excited about moving to Ireland for good.  

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

Joss was happy about everything. How could he not be? He was officially, permanently claimed by the man he loved, along with the other man he loved. They were moving overseas, where he'd be the consort of a Duke. But the shadow on his heart, the shadow cast by past love he'd never truly gotten over, was something he had to deal with. His smile though, as Edward described his new yoga studio, was genuine. "That sounds... incredible, Master. You're so good to me, and Avery. I can't believe you thought of something like that for me," he murmured, tenderness in his tone. Coming out of his pose, he knelt in front of Edward, leaning up to kiss his cheek, then his lips.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

PM: Thank you Joss. I can't believe it. I can't believe I got in!

PM: I can, because you're amazing and they would have been stupid to say no.

[sir-edwardfitzgerald]

F2F || Foss

Edward left the villa quickly. He was reminded of those other workouts of Joss’ he’d interrupted and he wanted to do the same again. He searched the beach for his lover before finding him in his usual spot. There he was in his yoga attire and his lean, perfect body in entrancing positions. “Hey there.” Edward called out as he moved over to where his pup was. “You look gorgeous as always.” He said with a grin, watching him.

[secondcoolestjoss-blog]

He'd missed doing yoga while he was in Ireland. The trouble was, there was no place for him to do it, at least without one or both of his lovers interrupting in their own special way. So Joss seized the opportunity and strolled out to the beach, going through a lengthy set of poses, slowly stretching his muscles and enjoying the heat of the Puerto Rican sun. Edward's voice was a welcome distraction, and he grinned over at the man as he approached. "Mm, so do you, Master," he purred as he pressed his hips up, body parallel to the ground with his abs and chest glistening in the sun. "What brings you out here?"