Secondhand Mongoose

Random. Tumblr Random.

[theoneandonly772]

The people I deal with on a weekly basis (I sell iPhones)

[secondhand-mongoose]

Language Arts and Masturbation (not as weird as it sounds)

So I was in writing and my classmate whom I sit next to. He found a poster that he had left in class so he grabbed it and brought it too his desk. The dude then started rolling it up under his desk. So I guess the teacher thought it looked like he was jacking off (she also hated this classmate of mine with a burning passion). So she stands up and yells," [Insert Classmate], is that..(10 second pause)...MASTURBATION?!?!?!?!" And the whole class could clearly see that he was just rolling his poster up so we laughed. But the teacher makes him stand up  and says," If the class thinks its so funny, then show us what you were doing." Of course the dude started unrolling and rerolling his poster and my language arts teacher just straight up fucking looses it yelling "DO NOT MOCK ME I AM GOD!!!!". Ok she didnt say that but she said "DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME SASSSSSSS!" . But yeah, this was constantly spoken about at school afterwards.

[secondhand-mongoose]

Anyone else have a mom who abuses the use of emojis? Like, she mixes them in with every other word.

[ruinedchildhood]

[secondhand-mongoose]

If you like my work, share it. Please.

[armeniaball]

We support France and freedom of expression Remove ISIS scum

[secondhand-mongoose]

[babybenji]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

[teenagerposts]

[smokii11224]

Punk rats are awesome

[secondhand-mongoose]

There can only be punk rats. All other rats are fake.

[secondhand-mongoose]

My Encounter with a SuperJew

>Jewish friend and I are on our way to History class

Friend: Hey do you have any German blood?

Me: Yeah. Why?

Friend: YOU'RE A NAZI!

Me: WHAT THE HELL! I'M NOT!

(Keep in mind, I have "perfect" blonde hair and blue eyes)

Friend: You look like one!

Me: I don't.

>We get to class. The subject is WWII.

Teacher: As some of you may know, the main political party involved in WWII was the Nazi Party. They were extremely prejudice and you had to meet certain criteria to be "perfect" in their eyes.

>Teacher points at me

Teacher: You could pass off as a Nazi

(I'm getting really fed up at this point).

Friend: STOP SAYING THE WORD NAZI SO MUCH! ITS OFFENSIVE TO ME, I'M JEWISH!!!

> Whole class just stares at him.

Friend: It's not right.

>Teacher explains to him that the word "Nazi" isn't offensive.

>Fast forward the entire year, my jewish friend calls me "Nazi". It really pisses me off.

Anyone else have this problem?

[gif-guy]

Other Funny Gifs http://gif-guy.tumblr.com/

[secondhand-mongoose]

I was forced to be a lone survivor

[smokin-giyen-tavuk-deactivated2]

[secondhand-mongoose]

I can't have a normal day with google... Not even when looking for a nintendo character....

[noahsegans]

so i’m watching the first Silent Hill and noticed my cat was too

here he is digging it

and here he is not digging it anymore

[meladoodle]

I was working at a kids birthday party and one of the little 5 year old girls noticed my necklace and said “I love your necklace!!” and another girl said “I love love love love your necklace!” and all the other girls started competing for who loved my necklace more by adding more “love” to their sentences and then one girl just said “its not that great”

[teenagerposts]