Another Friday night, which means another night of a difficult blog post. I remember when I had a friend who would write every day with me. Where did she go? @wurduvthadai, where are you? I guess the well only runs so deep. She can’t motivate herself. Not by herself. She needs help. I try to help her. I got her to start this blog, but she doesn’t like having the commitment. She’s too carefree. She is running around with a new boy too. That’s something I’ve learned. Don’t fall for someone because they will distract you from your work. Really, I’m just holding off until I find the girl who will inspire me to continue my work. When Robin Williams won an Oscar for Good Will Hunting, he thanked his wife for lighting his soul on fire. Something to that extent. I want to marry the girl who will do that for me.
I dated a girl in high school. She made me forget my work. I dated another girl in high school. She also made me forget my work. In total, I dated 4ish girls in high school who all made me forget my work. That’s not what I want. I want a girl who will help my work. I want her to love what I do as much as I do. My grandma told me not to fall in love.
I have the personality to live a bucolic life. There are so many sheep, and I need to protect all of them. How could I focus on one sheep? How could they deserve that amount of devotion? Well, shit. They must be pretty damn special.
What if I never see you again? Will you hate me for not coming back? I have dreams, and I’m willing to do what it takes to make them a reality. How could you hate me for that? I’m not going to run home to be in your comfort. Is that okay?
When I left home for my second semester, I couldn’t stop crying. Ed Sheeran was playing. I couldn’t see the road. I was driving alone. If I can deal with leaving my dad, I can deal with leaving you.
I don’t have a problem with detaching myself. I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Don’t get me wrong, for I plant roots. I value everyone I meet. But I don’t require that consistent communication to keep moving forward. I’m an extrovert. I’m an optimist. I have friends. I keep making them and moving forward. That’s the business I’m a part of…. Whoa, I’m actually going to get paid to act. How many actors can say that? That’s the actual definition of a professional.
Okay, like I said before, It’s Friday, so you can probably guess my mental state. I’m a college student. I’m doing the things. I’m playing the part. I’m surprised with how well my control of the keyboard is. Also, there is this Off-Broadway show called Drunk Shakespeare. I think I could fuck with that shit.
But that could fuck with my liver. My ap bio teacher had a joke about that. Something along the lines liver not deader. Or if you didn’t have a liver, you would be deader. He was a goofy guy. I like goofy people.
Back to the word of the day. BAAA BAAA BLACK SHEEP.