amabillis

dwellings of my mind at the most vulnerable times of the night

[secretiveforests]

do you ever love so much that it turns into the dread of a grief to come?

like a love that transcends far into inevitable loss, and there's nothing you can do about it, so you love anyway.

[maxximatics]

and the universe said you are not alone.

[secretiveforests]

What does it take to be like the stars twinkling amusedly among its own?

What does it take to be like the leaves upon a tree whispering secrets between the wind?

And with the wind, to drift into its senseless flow; to be breathed in with ease, fleetingly embraced around ones heart, and come out with warmth.

What does it take? For I am not with the wind, or leaves, or stars that share the reckless dance of connection.

My dance is my own, carried with the stringed limbs of a rigid stranger and a dissonant tune—crafted, conscious, foreign to that of nature.

[secretiveforests]

Distances away but in the same orbit nonetheless, bordered by a belt of asteroids of your own influence. We dance around with the other planets among us, only bothering a small acknowledgment of each other—the debris of asteroids giving way mere glimpses.

The image of you is scattered, rebuilt into a new identity that doesn't claim mine. Your being becomes something I can no longer put a grasp on, as I look through the looking glass of a telescope from far away.

Oh, jovial Jupiter, how much of you is left for me to recognise?

I find myself looking for the mark of your storm that I knew you for. I find it slowly fading away because you knew something else.

Oh, Jupiter of the skies, how much is left until you become the stranger you sought to be?

[secretiveforests]

When the curtains close and the audience leave their seats, what is left of the stage?

It stays—empty and waiting, with no purpose to serve. The once constant center has overstayed its welcome, no longer a place of pleasant dwelling.

There is laughter in the other room. A promise of more than the cold, stagnant stage. But one could only steal a slight glimpse of such warmth through the barricade of curtains.

[secretiveforests]

Call me by the name that your voice claimed; carry a part of me with the weight of your own and wrap them between your lips.

I hear the age of love in the way you beckon me—a melody of familiarity that echoes of passing time.

In that fleeting moment, the overlap of history become a witness to an enduring bond, capturing our young souls that remain unchanged.

[dogrotpdf]

how’s that house that raised you?

[ptimepoet]

[holdingcaulfields]

on identity

ojibwe / noah kahan / richard siken / unknown / elliott smith / oamisoa / cameron awkward-rich

[secretiveforests]

The only familiarity I've ever known feels so foreign

[star-girlfriend]

Did u get my vibes man?

[anditslove]

Andrea Gibson, Birthday

[nightjar-jack]

Something something "eat your heart out" or however that phrase goes...

Had one hell of a visceral dream the other night, and knew I had to makes something about it.

A paper collage of an anatomical heart made from pomegranate flesh. Made a few small digital alterations to fix the colour balance and not have them bleed into each other :)

[mournfulroses]

Nikita Gill, from Fierce Fairytales Poems & Stories to Stir Your Soul; "Gretel After Hansel," (edited)

[secretiveforests]

I am misplaced even within my own self.

[secretiveforests]

I want to tear myself apart and consume whatever is left of me

Cavity (2013) Ashley Blanton // Sip (1999) Graham Dean // Love Slowly Kills (2017) Adrian Borda // Ana Teresa Barboza

[toomuchtimelost]

[missmisanthrope]

I'm getting too comfortable with sadness; it scares me. Grief lives inside me like my childhood self. I give her the love she never had until it overflows into a flood of tears but she's still afraid and I don't know what to do anymore. she gets further away in moments of happiness and I'm scared of letting her go. so i cling on to sadness like a child in a crowd afraid to get lost; afraid of the unknown.

— 𝓜𝓼. 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮