ew - Sakusa 2k20 @secretpeachtea - Tumblr Blog

Aug 30, 2022

i never went to oovoo javer

title: i never went to oovoo javer

pairing: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku (BKDK)

genre: fluff, humor, crack, quirkless!au

word count: 3.1k

summary: Katsuki regrets agreeing to have a night out with Shitty Hair and Dunce Face. What he doesn’t regret is calling up an Uber after dropping off his idiot friends and meeting one of the most attractive bachelors the small town of Musutafu has to offer.

Katsuki panics after realizing that his Uber driver, Izuku, was the hottest piece of ass he’s ever laid eyes on.

A/N: whoops i forgot to post this on tumblr too. it’s just brainrot i promise. this is what i vomit out when i get surgery c:

read on ao3

“Soooooo, Bakubabe!” Denki slurs his words as the flush in his cheeks glow a bright red. He takes another swig of his drink before turning his attention back to his explosive friend. “I met a girl at the gas station near my apartment yesterday, and I think you’d totally match well with her!”

“I’m not fuckin’ looking for someone to hook up with right now, Dunce Face.” Katsuki scowls at the other blonde’s words. “Especially, not with some chick that you met at a shitty gas station.”

“But, you’ve been so grumpy and being a meanie,” Denki complains. “I’m pretty sure you just gotta get laid. You know? Live your life a little!”

Eijirou, who’s equally as drunk as Denki, brings a fist down onto the table loudly earning him a few glares from other customers around the bar. “Yeah, man! You’re starting graduate school in a few weeks, but you haven’t hooked up with anyone for the past four years since all you’ve done is study. This is the first time you even agreed to go out with us in months!”

Denki nods his head vigorously in agreement.

“First of all, we literally saw each other last week. I made you food in my own kitchen because your sorry asses can barely even touch a microwave without burning something,” Katsuki bites back. He hears Eijirou whine about how ‘hanging out at home is different than going out’, but Katsuki chooses to ignore him and continue with his spiel. “Second, I’ve got better shit to do than have flings with people that I can’t stand or don’t mean anything to me. I’m all or nothing.”

Denki flails his arms out dramatically. “You’re not even giving anyone a chance though! I get that you’d prefer a more long term relationship, but you’ve been single since forever, and you never agree to meet with anyone we try to set you up with.”

“Because none of them are ever fucking good enough!”

“Then, why don’t you tell us what is good enough? Everyone’s got things they look for. Tell us what your ideal type is for a partner and maybe we could help you out.” Eijirou suggests.

Huh. The question makes Katsuki pause for a moment. He may not be actively searching to date, but he has thought about this very topic every once in a while. Typically on particularly lonely nights when he’s home alone shoving spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth while rewatching the romantic comedy films he hides in the corner of his closet.

Eijirou and Denki both notice the sudden hesitance. They look at each other before sporting matching cheshire grins.

“So you do have an ideal type!” Eijirou snaps his fingers like he’s discovered all the wonders of the world. “What are they like? Are they hot? Do you like people with tattoos? Piercings?”

“I’m not telling you shit, Shitty Hair!”

Denki grabs some of his hair in frustration. “Come on, dude! You’ve gotta give us something to work with! Does your ideal type have funky hair? Maybe you secretly love dad bods? I know a guy that’s really into knees一”

Katsuki spends the next couple of minutes groaning to himself as his friends continue to pester him with annoying questions one after the other. His patience starts to run thin, and he doesn’t think he can take any more of this.

“Alright! Fuck off!”

Denki and Eijirou immediately shut up at the angry blonde’s outburst and wait with anticipation.

“I-I don’t know. I guess guys that are fit? Not too much muscle, but just enough to look healthy. Freckles are fine and whatever.”

The two friends continue to listen intently as Katsuki begins to ramble on.

“And, they’ve gotta have more than two brain cells; smart. They gotta be able to keep up with me.”

“I can’t stand assholes that go out and party a lot. I prefer someone who has a good balance between wanting to have a night in and going out to try something new.”

“They also can’t be smelling like shit that just walked out after taking a shower in heavy cologne. None of that flowery stuff either. Woodsy is fine.”

“And, fuck, I like it when people are super passionate about something they love?”

The sound of glass clinking together on the other side of the bar snaps Katsuki out of his trance and he finally notices the disgusting googly eyes his friends are giving him.

Denki smirks. “Who knew Bakugou could be so romantic?”

Katsuki flips him off.

Who the fuck gets this drunk at 10pm on a Wednesday night?

Katsuki is fuming in his seat as he watches Eijirou almost faceplant into his half eaten plate of nachos. Denki isn’t doing any better since he’s now cradling a spoon in his hands and murmuring a lullaby out of tune. It was time to go.

Katsuki throws down a wad of cash onto the check and takes one last sip of his glass of water before dragging his friends out the bar and into the parking lot.

Yes, his fucking glass of water because the two idiots decided to drive here together when they knew they were going to get drunk and now he has to drive them home in Denki’s car. As much as he knows he’s an asshole, Katsuki was not going to leave his friend’s car in some sketchy part of the neighborhood.

Katsuki digs through Denki’s pockets and locates his car keys before shoving both men into the back seat. He sits in the driver’s seat and immediately starts driving towards his friends’ shared apartment. Luckily, it’s not too far of a drive from the bar and he reaches his destination without any other disturbances other than the spontaneous hiccups from the drunk men behind him.

Once Denki and Eijirou are both hauled into the apartment and into their respective rooms, Katsuki shoots their other roommate a brief text.

Soy Sauce Face. Check up on idiot #1 and idiot #2 when you get home from work later. They’re drunk af

Katsuki receives a thumbs up from the other male a few seconds later and he lets out a sigh. Now all that’s left to do was figure out how the hell he was gonna get home. There was no way he was staying at this pigsty of an apartment, especially if there was a chance that his friends would end up whining about their hangover the next morning when he’s trying to get his beauty sleep.

His apartment was about half an hour away, so taking an Uber might cost a bit, but he’ll just make Denki and Eijirou pay him back for all the suffering they’ve caused. It wasn’t even 11pm yet either, so an Uber might not be too bad.

As long as his driver wasn’t a total ass.

Katsuki orders the Uber off his phone and locks up the apartment with his spare key. He walks down to the front of the complex and jots down a couple groceries that he needs to pick up tomorrow as he waits.

A few minutes later, a car pulls up next to the blonde with the passenger side closer to him and Katsuki recognizes that it’s a green Mini Cooper. The window in front of him slides down and he hears a chill Lo-Fi song playing in the background as the driver comes into view. Katsuki almost chokes on his spit because holy shit.

Sitting at the driver’s seat was a young adult male with fluffy, dark green curls and a body built like a literal god. His toned arms were languidly placed around the steering wheel while firm thighs were pressed against the cushioned seats. To Katsuki, it was an absolute sin that such a fit person also had the biggest innocent looking eyes he’s ever seen with a button nose on an absolutely adorable face and oh, fuck, are those freckles??

“Hi! Are you Bakugou Katsuki?”

He also sounds like a fucking angel!

With all this storming through Katsuki’s mind, he still sported his usual resting bitch face and leaned down while glancing at his Uber app. “You, Deku?”

The Uber driver raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Deku?”

“Yeah. My Uber driver.” Katsuki turns his phone so that it’s facing the other man.

“Oh, that says Izuku. You probably read the kanji wrong.”

“Whatever, Deku.” Katsuki opened the car door and desperately willed his ears to stop reddening. It definitely didn’t help that he had a full view of how thick Izuku’s ass was now that Katsuki was sitting right beside him. Like, damn. Katsuki prayed for his driver not to be a total ass, but he definitely was not complaining about that ass.

Izuku blinks owlishly at Katsuki blatantly ignoring the correction before shrugging his shoulders and gesturing at the backseat. “Sorry about the clutter in the back!”

When Katsuki looks back, he sees a few cardboard boxes and empty suitcases littering the seats. The clutter was somewhat unusual, but the front seats were pretty clean and spacious, so it didn’t really bother him. “S’fine.”

“I was helping someone move and didn’t have enough time to get rid of some things before starting my shift,” Izuku explains as he inputs Katsuki’s address into his car’s GPS.

Katsuki tried not to look too interested by casually resting his elbow on the center console as he asked nervously, “Boyfriend?”

Since when did the Bakugou Katsuki care about other people’s love lives? Especially about some stranger? He literally just got in the car.

Izuku shook his head. “No, just a friend. I’m actually not seeing anyone right now.”

HELL YEAH.

Katsuki takes in a deep breath and immediately gets a whiff of a subtle, earthy fragrance permeating the inside of the car. It smells like pine wood with a hint of mint, and he actually quite liked the scent. Not wanting to give away the internal whooping and cheering going on in his mind, Katsuki redirects the conversation to the scent, “I like your air freshener. Smells good.”

Real smooth. I’m sure that’ll get his attention.

Izuku takes his foot off the brake to start driving and looks around the street to make sure he didn’t hit anything, leaving Katsuki to have a nice view of his side profile. “Oh, my air freshener actually ran out last week and I keep forgetting to replace it. You might be smelling my cologne. I hope it’s not too strong!”

FUCK. He just indirectly told Izuku that he smelled good. Way to go, Katsuki. You’re making a complete fool out of yourself in front of possibly one of the hottest people you’ve ever met.

The car exits the neighborhood and only the sound of soft music fills the air which leaves Katsuki sweating.

“So,” Izuku starts, “how was your day, Mr. Bakugou?”

Izuku is one of those Uber drivers. Katsuki absolutely detests small talk and would rather slam his head against the front of the car multiple times than take part in it.

“Katsuki.”

So, why the fuck did he answer, and why the fuck did he just respond with his first name?

Izuku gives a quick glance at the blonde from the side of his eyes before turning back to the road. “Hm? Would you prefer I call you that? I don’t mind! Then, how was your day, Kachik一Katshu一Kach一”

Katsuki has a smug grin on his face and leans closer to the now flustered male. “Having trouble there, Deku?”

“I told you it’s Izuku!”

Katsuki just hums uncaringly and continues to grin.

Izuku huffs and pouts. “Fine! Then, I’ll just call you, um…Kacchan!”

Shit. That’s cute. Katsuki thinks as he crosses his arm and pinches the skin on the corner of his elbow to keep himself from reacting. “Do whatever you want, nerd.”

The car approaches a red light before coming to a stop and the two are immersed in another moment of awkward silence. Katsuki’s ears redden once again as he turns his head to look out his window and focuses his eyes on the blinking walking symbol, trying to build up the courage to say something. Here goes nothing, “My day was fine.”

He sees Izuku smile widely out of the corners of his eyes. Definitely worth it.

The two talk about a few other topics during the drive, including Katsuki’s all time favorite comic book hero, All Might, who just happens to be the same hero Izuku’s been obsessed with since he was a child as well. The Uber driver had sheepishly told him that he took down all of his All Might merch from his car so that he doesn’t scare off the people he’s been giving rides for. Katsuki had taken out a small All Might Plush keychain from the glove compartment and hung it on the rearview mirror rightfully where it belonged. He earned himself another blinding smile from Izuku.

Katsuki also learned that Izuku loved to work out everyday, which explains why the freckled male had calloused hands and killer thighs. The blonde smirked when he caught Izuku blushing after a compliment was sent his way.

At some point, Katsuki mentions that he’s about to head off to graduate school in a couple weeks to start studying for his PhD in chemical engineering and Izuku almost swerves the car in excitement.

“That’s so cool!” Izuku is practically vibrating in his seat. “We’re both in the engineering crew then! I’m getting my PhD in biomedical engineering!”

He’s smart too?? How the hell is this guy so perfect?

Katsuki’s eyebrows raise with curiosity. “What school are you going to?”

“UA!”

“Shit, me too.”

That means this might not be the last time Katsuki sees Izuku around. He wants to kiss the universe for giving him such a lucky break. Not as much as he wants to kiss the man next to him but whatever.

The car is only about a minute or two away from Katsuki’s apartment when Izuku suddenly brakes hard. Katsuki is startled by the abrupt jerking motion and is about to question what’s wrong when he notices a deranged looking man standing in front of the car. The stranger starts yelling curses and accusing Izuku of running him over even though that clearly didn’t happen.

How dare this man try to ruin Katsuki’s non-date Uber drive with Izuku?! The blonde is about to unbuckle his seatbelt and give this dude a piece of his mind when Izuku quickly pulls down his window and sticks his head outside.

“Try that on the next bitch! I have a dash cam, motherfucker!”

Oh. Katsuki didn’t think he could become even more whipped for this man, but he was just deliciously proven wrong. He doesn’t even try to calm down his racing heart this time.

The crazy stranger has a terrified expression on his face and promptly runs away to disappear into the night. Izuku grumbles for a bit at the inconvenience and then suddenly freezes in place, remembering that there was someone else in the car with him.

“Shi一Um…” Izuku rubs the back of his neck nervously and avoids Katsuki’s gaze. “That doesn’t happen very often…”

Katsuki is still too enamored to form any coherent words so he simply nods his head in acknowledgement. “Hm…”

“C-could you just forget that ever happened?”

As much as Katsuki wants to tease the nerd, he decides to save it for another day. Their time together is almost over and he wants to make the most of it, which is also why Katsuki can’t stop the next words from leaving his lips, “Nah, you’re good. That was kinda hot.”

Izuku lets out a strangled squeak and he turns red all the way from the bottom of his neck to the top of his head. The blush doesn’t die down even as they slowly approach Katsuki’s apartment complex.

Katsuki doesn’t move even as the car stops and Izuku parks. The blonde starts shaking a leg anxiously since he’s not entirely sure how to go about saying bye to Izuku. Hey, cut him some slack. He hasn’t been interested in anyone like this for the past four years. The only thing he can think of doing is pulling out one of the napkins he pocketed from the bar and borrowing one of the pens Izuku kept in his cup holder to write something down.

Izuku breaks the silence first, “I一it was nice meeting you, Kacchan! Maybe we’ll run into each other at school! W-we could study together or grab some lunch or something…only if you want to, of course! I don’t want to force you to hang out with me or anything.”

Now that won’t do.

Katsuki interrupts Izuku’s rambling as he roughly grabs onto the front of the freckled man’s jacket and pulls him in his direction. Katsuki hears Izuku let out a yelp as he stops the man’s face a mere few centimeters from his own to give the other time to pull away if he wanted to.

Katsuki holds his breath when Izuku doesn’t pull away. Instead, the nerd shuts his eyes closed and fills in the remaining distance between their lips. The two share a deep kiss for a few seconds before pulling away slightly and resting their foreheads against one another.

Despite the moment of peace, Katsuki suddenly feels overwhelmed by the situation and draws back quickly.

Izuku is startled when Katsuki shoves a napkin in his face and leaves the car with a resounding slam. When he looks down at the fallen napkin, he sees a phone number and the name ‘Kacchan’ signed underneath. If Katsuki had looked back at all he would’ve witnessed the absolute flustered, yet giddy mess he had left Izuku in.

Katsuki hastily makes his way up the stairs to his apartment and loudly shuts his front door behind him, uncaring if he just woke up his neighbors. He leans against the door and slides down.

I fucked up. Why couldn’t he do anything right? It was going so well! And, then he just had to go and get all worked up like a fucking weak ass一

Katsuki’s phone vibrates.

The blonde fumbles with his phone and turns on the screen without blinking.

Hi Kacchan! This is Deku! Maybe we could go see that new All Might movie together next week?

Did Katsuki gently put his phone down momentarily and kick his feet into the air while squealing like some stereotypical teenage girl getting a confession from her long term crush?

No. No, the fuck he did not.

…it’s not like anyone would ever know.

After having his moment of bliss, Katsuki responds to the text with a nonchalant ‘Sure, nerd. I’ll pick you up this time.’ before switching to the Uber app.

Katsuki gives Izuku a five star rating.

A/N: hehehehehehhehehehehhehehehheheheh

#bkdk #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #fluff #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bakudeku #uber #bnha #mha #strangers to lovers #bakugou katsuki is whipped #secretpeachtea

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

ew - Sakusa 2k20