Secretsoftheunwanted

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

How are you all doing? Monday is over so thats definitely a plus!! I don’t think Ive ever been so tired in my life, my eyes were so heavy today, I was struggling to keep them open. Although considering, I feel like I had a very productive day at work.

So I had a different post idea for tonight but I feel like that needs a little more planning so Im going to give you my next 5 alternatives to self harm. Again, I know these may not work for everyone, but if I can help one person learn to control their self harm urges I will be happy.

~~~

Visit a Friend 

I know it may seem self explanatory but it is honestly one of the best remedies. Even if you don’t want to talk about why you’re upset your friends will want to be there for you. I have a few people who I wouldn’t think twice about calling if I really needed someone.

This may not be an option as you may not have many friends or or you may not want to be around people when you’re in that mindset, I understand this, trust me. Just don’t forget its an option.

~~~

Go on a Run 

EXERCISE!! As much as you want to shout at me right now exercise is amazing for keeping you busy & it is also so therapeutic. I am a couch potato, but I’m currently working on getting a somewhat ready ‘beach body’ for my holiday to Portugal.

Theres definitely something about smelling like an old gym sock & sweating buckets that just makes you forget about everything you were worrying about. This is probably one of the alternatives that work for me the most. 

TOP TIP – The only thing I struggle with is getting the motivation to get up of my ARSE and actually work out. I always get my motivation from Pinterest whether its looking at before & after photos, toned bodies or just clothes you want to look good in, this helps me loads; if you want to give it a go, check out my Motivation Board. 

~~~

Reminisce

Can you think of anything better than defeating your negative thoughts with happy ones? 

Why don’t you go on your Facebook & look at all those photos you were tagged in from Prom or a family wedding? Or Look in your Mums old photo album of you as a kid. Just think about it for a minute, would you want to hurt that innocent child? …. No?Then why on earth would you think about doing it to yourself now? 

~~~

Ice Cube Method 

Most the time its hard not to harm because you want to have that physical release. This is something I struggle with the most, that pain is a release from the anger, pain and emptiness you’re feeling. 

This method is something that my mentor in high school told me about, quick shout out to her, if she’s reading it she’ll know who I’m talking about. So will most people who went to my school but hey!! 

This is the method where you put an ice cube in your hand and hold it as tight as you can, this acts as the pain. I then added a little extra bit which is smashing the ice cube on the floor (obviously I would recommend outside, I can’t say my mum would be too impressed by a pile of water on the kitchen floor). 

~~~

Scream into a Pillow 

This one sounds so childish. I get that but it can help! If you’re in one of ‘those’ moods. Get a pillow and scream as loud as you can into it, this way no one will hear you screaming but you will get a sense of normality. 

~~~

Don’t forget to let me know if you have tried any of these methods & if you have, did they work for you? I’d love to know. 

Don’t forget this isn’t all of my alternatives, keep your eyes peeled there will be a new post soon. 

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

……..

Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

  MHM: Alternatives to Self Harm #2 Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? Monday is over so thats definitely a plus!! I don't think Ive ever been so tired in my life, my eyes were so heavy today, I was struggling to keep them open.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Urban Decay - Naked Heat

Urban Decay – Naked Heat

Hello My Lovelies,

I am a very excited girly. I got my hands on the Naked Heat Palette in Urban Decay’s flash sale. Thanks to my friend Harriet who originally told me about the limited stock available on the 12th June.

It is by far one of the most beautiful palettes I have seen and the colour scheme is incredible especially for red heads like myself and Harriet.

The colours remind me of a sunset…

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[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

I hope you’re all well.

I’ve gone and done it again … My bank balance is currently giving me those ‘I’m disappointed in you eyes’ because I’ve spent quite a bit of money over the past couple of months, so of course I wanted to show you all what I’ve brought.

A lot of the stuff I purchased was in my Primark Haul last month, so it may not seem like too much.

It’s going to be a collective haul as there are multiple different places I have brought from recently, which I will try to link if the item is still available. If anything is not linked it will most probably be from Primark.

I’ll start with the clothing side of things; I mainly got pyjamas. Although in my defence, I wear PJ’s all the time, so I had to get some for the hotter weather we’ve been hit with recently.

(Unfortunately, It looks like Sainburys is out of the cactus Pyjamas)

Black Wonderfit Jeans

Skinny Jeans

Khaki Shift Dress

California Vest

Heels

The Makeup/skincare products are my favourites, I brought a few high-end products as well which I don’t often do but I’m so excited about them.

Eye Patches

Garnier Toner

Nip+Fab

Moisture Bomb

Elizabeth Arden

Hand Maid

L’Oreal lip paint

MUA Tranquility

MUA Dash

Urban Decay Afterglow Highlighter

Skin Frost Peach Goddess

I also have some random little bits;

Car Air Freshener

(This was a cute little present from my mum for my new car, I just have to pass my test now)

Eyelashes

So I think that’s everything!

I have now finished Sons of Anarchy and I’m now about half way through Orange is the New Black. I still need some more suggestions.

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

……..

Discount Codes;

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

Collective Haul Hello My Lovelies, I hope you’re all well. I’ve gone and done it again … My bank balance is currently giving me those ‘I’m disappointed in you eyes’ because I’ve spent quite a bit of money over the past couple of months, so of course I wanted to show you all what I’ve brought.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

MHM: Life Update Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? I know … it’s a Monday, so it probably wasn’t great but at least you were able to look forward to Mental Health Monday!!!

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

How are you all doing?

First off, I know I haven’t posted for a while, but I’ve just kind of had a bit of a block. I knew what I wanted to write but it was just stuck and didn’t want to come out.

A couple of week’s back I got talking to a friend at work Lauren, we were talking about how she did beauty in college and offers treatments after work & at weekends.

So she went into telling me the selection of treatments that she offered and I was spoilt for choice.

One of the treatments really stood out for me.

As you will all know by now, I am a really lazy …

I would much rather get up with 10 minutes to get ready before work, than waking up early to do my makeup. Although, I have become a lot more confident not wearing makeup and my skin hardly ever has breakouts, which is definitely a bonus.

However, there is a fine line between no makeup & looking ill. The one thing that normally helps me look somewhat presentable when I go without no makeup has definitely got to be mascara. I know, technically it’s not no makeup, but it’s pretty close to it.

So when she mentioned semi-permanent makeup, which included a line of eyeliner and tinted eyelashes, I jumped at the chance.

So she agreed to come round to sort me out, which I am very grateful for, because it’s made such a huge difference. I am in love with the result. The difference is uncanny.

So let’s just get straight into the experience itself. You can either go to Lauren or she will come to you, because I’m still learning to drive I asked Lauren to come to mine, which she was more than happy to do.

So because we were doing it at my house I was laid on my bed with my head in her lap, Trust me I could have quite easily have taken a nap. She had to use some little stickers around my lashes so I didn’t end up looking like a panda. This wasn’t the most comfortable of things as my eyes just would not stop watering, after a lot of perseverance Lauren finally got them on.

So she put the tint on my eyelashes & also did the liner, this took about 5-10 minutes. I then had to lay there with the tint soaking in for about 10 – 15 minutes, we had Gavin & Stacey on in the background as well so we were well amused.

The tint lasts for about 4 weeks & I can definitely vouch for this! More so for the lashes though. I’m still loving the tinted lashes and I will be having them done again.

So if anyone lives in and around the Luton area I will list Laurens treatments below as well as the details on her business card.

Individual Eyelashes – £10.00

Eyebrow Tint & Pluck – £15.00

Eyelashes (Tint with liner) – £15.00

Facial – £30.00

Back Massage (Half) – £15.00

Back Massage (full) – £30.00

Manicure (Massage & Polish) – £15.00

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

……..

Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

  Semi – Permanent Makeup Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? First off, I know I haven’t posted for a while, but I’ve just kind of had a bit of a block.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Alternatives to Self Harm

Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? So obviously as you know, today is mental health Monday. Ever since I started self harming, I have tried multiple different methods to help myself stop. So…

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

How are you all doing?

So obviously as you know, today is mental health Monday.

Ever since I started self harming, I have tried multiple different methods to help myself stop. Some of these were given to me by my mentor in high school and some were just through a little research I did on my own.

Everyone is different so I don’t expect these to work for everyone. Most of them haven’t worked for me but some did help in different ways.

My list of alternatives is pretty big though, so I am going to stretch them over a few blog posts instead of just putting them into one. I hope you guys are okay with that!

~~~

The Butterfly Project 

So for those of you who don’t know the butterfly project, it is an alternative of self harm, where you draw a butterfly on your wrist and you name it after a loved one who wants you to get better, they can draw it for you as well if thats the way you wish to do it, however you must wait for the butterfly to fade away. No Scrubbing.

The aim is that when you wish to harm yourself, you see that butterfly and you think of that loved one who wants to help you get better & this can be that little something to make you stop and change your mind. 

~~~

Write in a Diary

This one is something that I did for quite a while. I still have the diary to this day. There is no right and wrong answer of what to write in the diary. I know in mine I wrote about certain events that made me want to harm and also where & how I would like to do it. 

I felt like this helped as by the time I’d finished writing about how I was feeling, there were times when the feeling would pass.  

This is probably one of the techniques which helped me the most. 

~~~

Go for a Walk 

Okay, so if you’re anything like me and you’re really lazy then this will not appeal to you. Going for a walk, especially with buster, has become one of my favourite ways to avoid hurting myself. Its just so peaceful and when I’m in moods like that I often see things differently, which can be really eye opening. 

~~~

Make a Cheesy Playlist

Okay so following on from going for a walk, my next idea would be to make a cheesy playlist for your walk. Whether they’re really cheesy songs i.e. mysterious girl or just a genuine playlist that will make you happy. Music is one of the best releases for me when Im in a mood like this, especially Of Mice and Men, there music has helped me through so much. 

~~~

Cry 

So this one needs no explaining, sometimes all you need when you want to harm yourself is a good cry. At my worst times I’ve sometimes cried so much that Ive tired myself out and didn’t have the energy to do anything. Obviously theres no saying that this will happen overtime, but I have found that it can be very helpful. 

~~~

Don’t forget to let me know if you have tried any of these methods & if you have, did they work for you? I’d love to know. 

Don’t forget this isn’t all of my alternatives, keep your eyes peeled there will be a new post soon. 

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

……..

Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

Alternatives to Self Harm Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? So obviously as you know, today is mental health Monday.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

How are you all doing?

So if you follow me on twitter, you would have seen a bit of a sneak peak of me planning a Primark haul, as I went shopping with my mum a couple of weeks back & of course we had to take a trip to Primark. I didn’t come out with as much as I normally would but overall I’m happy with my purchases.

So these bralettes have been everywhere lately and I have built up a bit of a collection of these because they’re absolutely gorgeous.

I also brought some Guns N Roses Pyjamas, a gorgeous light blue summer top and a cutout playsuit.

Im in love with these slippers, they’re the most gorgeous colour and they are so comfortable, although I have been told that they’re ‘granny’ slippers, but I don’t care because I love them!!

Im a big Harry Potter Fan, so when I saw these I had to buy them.

Jay & I have just booked our tickets to finally go to Harry Potter World & I am so bloody excited!!

Tanning, isn’t necessarily something Ive ever done but I do like using a tinted moisturiser here & there, but somehow I still end up with orange hands, so I thought a tanning mit would be a perfect little purchase.

If you haven’t already seen my blog post about Primarks – PS range of gorgeous fake nails, then go check it out. They’re a new favourite of mine & I am so glad I picked them up.

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

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Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

Primark Haul #1 Hello My Lovelies, How are you all doing? So if you follow me on twitter, you would have seen a bit of a sneak peak of me planning a Primark haul, as I went shopping with my mum a couple of weeks back & of course we had to take a trip to Primark. 

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Professional Looking Nails for Less

Professional Looking Nails for Less

Hello My Lovelies,

How are you all doing?!

So I recently went to Primark and discovered some cheap alternatives to something that I know a lot of you guys spend over the odds on. I do as well so I can’t really talk. I mainly pay to get my nails done, because my real ones are so short, as I have been biting my nails for as long as I can remember. Its a horrible habit, I know.

I love getting my…

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[secretsoftheunwanted]

How to ‘Be There’ for a loved one suffering with a Mental Illness

Hello My Lovelies, How are we all doing? I must admit for a Monday … I have had a pretty good day and I have managed to get a lot of work done. So as I said, I wanted to do a Mental Health se…

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

How are we all doing? I must admit for a Monday … I have had a pretty good day and I have managed to get a lot of work done.

So as I said, I wanted to do a Mental Health series on my blog. Im calling it Mental Health Monday #MHM. Im not 100% sure if I will be doing a post every Monday or every other Monday but I will keep you all updated. Normal posts will go up Friday as usual.

Ive been struggling with Mental Health since the age of about 14. So as I’m now 20 thats 6 years and let me tell you it hasn’t been easy.

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety & depression. I have also had a problem with self harming.

Mental Health can be a real struggle when it comes to relationships. Ive had my fair share of issues with them, so I thought I would let you know my ideas for how to be there for someone who is struggling with a metal health illness, whether its a member of your family, your friend or partner.

‘Educate Yourself’ 

My first piece of advise is to educate yourself, sometimes you may not understand your loved ones behaviour. So I think it’s important that you educate yourself on there illness, just take some time to read up on it. This can also show them that you are working extra hard to try and understand. 

‘Stay Calm’ 

I know this can be hard because you don’t want to see your loved one on a path of self destruction. But I have to admit there is nothing that upsets me more, than when someone gets angry & frustrated with me for something I have little to no control over. 

‘Listen’ 

Now that I know I can talk about things, I probably start to sound like a broken record. I normally moan about the same things over and over. Theres nothing wrong with that but I know it must get really annoying. 

‘Encourage them to get Professional Help’

Not all things can be solved by talking. Talking is just one (granted very helpful) step on a long road to recovery. Sometimes it can be a lot more serious and your loved one will need professional help, whether thats counselling or medication. 

‘Address their Achievements’

We all know that feeling when you’ve been dieting and someone comments saying how good you look. I definitely think its the same for someone suffering with a mental illness. I love when someone notices how active I’ve been or how I’ve come out of my shell a little, because it shows me that I am slowly improving. 

‘How are you feeling?’

This is a real simple step. Ask your loved one how there day was, it really can lighten the mood. If we’ve had a bad day, revert back to number 3 & just listen. Let them rant about it, because a release after a bad day can be a lot more helpful than you may think. 

‘Relapse is Normal’

One of the worst things I would say about suffering with a mental illness is that horrible word ‘RELAPSE’. This is something that we all dread, but it happens and there is nothing to be ashamed off. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU WEAK, IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER. 

‘If you don’t understand, just ask’

If there is something that you don’t understand when your loved one is talking to you, ask them. Jay often has questions and lots of them and there is nothing wrong with that. I love it when he asks questions because he’s trying to understand, it shows his willingness to help. 

He has asked why I am able to walk into a building first on somedays and why I make him walk in first, the next day. I don’t find it too easy to explain these things but I try & I know he appreciates me explaining it, as good as I can. 

‘Don’t feel ashamed if  YOU need help’

You may not be the one suffering with a metal illness, but we know it must be hard for you. I don’t think ‘burden’ is the right way to explain it, but you must feel snowed under feeling like you have to look after us all the time. Its ok to get some help of your own, we will understand.

‘Be Patient’

All we ask is that you’re patient with us. Recovery will take time and we are doing our best. Just please stand by us during the good & bad times, it means the world to us.

I hope this goes some way towards helping you to support your loved ones in there time of need.

I would like to finish this post by thanking

My family, friends and my other half Jay for being my rock & supporting me through my journey.

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

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Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

How to ‘Be There’ for a loved one suffering with a Mental Illness Hello My Lovelies, How are we all doing? I must admit for a Monday ... I have had a pretty good day and I have managed to get a lot of work done.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hey There Soldier!

You’re at the age now where you’re growing up and you’re experiencing some real battles in your life. You don’t know what you want to do with your life and I hate to say it but you won’t at the age of 20 either … I can’t say I know about the future, but you’ll soon work it out, I know you will, I have faith in you!

I know you’re still struggling with the grief of losing your dad, but let me tell you, It will get better. Don’t be scared that you’ll forget him! You were young when it happened and you may not have as many memories & years spent with him, but you are able to fight on and continue to make him proud.

He will continue to look over you. Trust Me.

You have the most supporting, loving and caring family. Do not shut them out. They love you!!!

I know you will have some real lows … but you will have some real highs as well, you will meet some incredible people along the way and have the most amazing adventures. Especially with the scouts. You will become so much more confident and you will make some of the most amazing friends.

You may not think it now but those thoughts your having are not as sinister as you think, when you realise its okay to talk about how you’re feeling you can get a diagnosis and some help. Talk to your family they can help you along the way!!!

Depression, self harm and anxiety are what you will be diagnosed with, I know it sounds scary but they are all controllable. It may take some time to come to grips with it but you are not your diagnosis, that does not change you.

Don’t take any notice about what people say about you. This is an important one. Sadly I have to revert back to that saying that everyone knows ‘sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me’ please try your best to believe that.

Just remember that some people come into your life and they may not be in it for the long run, but treasure their company whilst you can and once it starts getting bad, leave, don’t let anyone blame your mental health, because you will hold onto that and it will ruin other relationships. They weren’t strong enough to stick by you, so they’re not real friends and you really don’t need them in your life. Although let me tell you, don’t hold a grudge as it will make you bitter in the long run.

School gets a little harder for you in the last couple of years. Your anxiety gets a little harder to deal with especially when it comes to your exams. You can do it and you will! Your results weren’t too bad either… Although you can do better, spend a little more time revising but don’t forget to have fun, thats the most important thing, balance everything out as well as you can. You will also have one of the best mentors in high school and she will make your time in high school so much easier.

The most amazing boy somehow makes his way in to your life. You will believe that you are the luckiest girl in the world, even now I think that. He will show you what you deserve and you will create the most amazing memories with him. Although his smile, will become your weakness.

One last thing, please don’t start harming yourself. If there is one thing that you take from this, take that nugget of advise. Sometimes when you feel so numb from being depressed, you just want to feel, I know that but there are other ways of coping. Talk to someone! Because an addiction is an addiction, and you’re going to deal with it for the rest of your life and you’re going to have days where your going to struggle but you will get through.

Be you!! Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Yeah, you’re a little weird and you’ll have a slight obsession with sharks, but thats okay. JUST BE YOU! Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.

You’re a fighter and there is nothing that can or will change that.

Stay Weird … Thats what makes you so unique X

Love your older, (could say more wiser) self.

Stay Strong ♥

……..

Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

A letter to my 14 year old self Hey There Soldier! You're at the age now where you're growing up and you're experiencing some real battles in your life.

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Mental Health & The Perfect Companion

Hello My Lovelies, Todays post is going to be a little different to normal, Im going to talk a little about mental health. I have decided to start a little series, where I talk about some of the th…

[secretsoftheunwanted]

Hello My Lovelies,

Todays post is going to be a little different to normal, Im going to talk a little about mental health. I have decided to start a little series, where I talk about some of the things Ive learnt & want people to know about mental health issues.

If you have any subjects that you want me to talk about or any issues you would like me to address, either leave a comment below of contact me via any of my social media.

~~~~~

When you suffer with mental health it is so important to have someone that you can speak to and let everything out.

My perfect companion may be a little different from yours he doesn’t talk, he’s smaller than me and his breath smells a little … well a lot. My companion is a dog, Buster.

He is my shadow, literally. He follows me everywhere and I have to admit its not quite the same when I’m not at home and I can’t hear his paws pit-pattering behind me.

His paw may not be a hand to hold and his barks may not be a response but his silence is always comforting.

During my struggle with depression, anxiety and self harm I have been so lucky to have the support from my family and of course Jay. I am able to talk to them about how I’m feeling … most the time, sometimes I find it that little bit harder. Thats often when I like to speak to my little fella.

Some of you may be reading this thinking that I’ve lost my marbles and Im not disagreeing. Its an ongoing joke in my house at times. I mean … I’m only 20 so if thats the case god help jay and my family.

Everything Buster does brings a smile to my face.

Coming home from a bad day & being welcomed by my gorgeous little pooch, who has been waiting for me all day, with the biggest smile on his face when my feet hit the welcome mat.

When I was a little bit younger, I would most probably say before I met Jay. Buster was my main way to not keep my emotions bottled up. There were often times where I didn’t want reassurance or sympathy. I would just want Busters company.

I could sit there quietly or I could sit there and tell him everything that was wrong with me … he wouldn’t ask questions, he would just comfort me.

~~~~~

Have you got a perfect companion like me? Send me a picture of you & yours!!

It doesn’t have to be a dog … it can be absolutely any pet.

Stay Weird … X

Jamie

……..

Discount Codes 

Coconut Lane – driscoll20

Boutique of Molly – jamielee20

Mental Health & The Perfect Companion Hello My Lovelies, Todays post is going to be a little different to normal, Im going to talk a little about mental health.

[depressionhope]

If you suffer from depression, there’s always hope!

[frequents]

[emmyrussum]

Grease (1978) dir. Randal Kleiser