It'd been a year since Dan and Phil met, six months since they'd moved in together. Both boys were average, young youtubers, living in London in hopes of achieving their dream; what was their dream, you may ask? Happiness. All they wanted really was happiness. True happiness; a feeling that comes deep from within - not as a result of anyone or anything, rather just a desperate need to smile or laugh at absolutely nothing. Their relationship was something people would refer to as 'perfect', so idealistic that some even thought that it was merely platonic in hopes of getting more views and subscribers. Alas, this was not true. The two boys loved each other from the bottom of their hearts which was proven by their primal need to make the other feel safe and happy. Though complete opposites, Dan and Phil seemed to attract each other in a way that neither biology nor chemistry could encounter, a mutual bond that lead to some sort of synchronised mind-set which allowed them to be interconnected in all sorts of ways. It was a paradox. Dan was dark; an enigma within himself. A dangerous aura surrounded him at all times. He wasn't lethal, but his thoughts were. His mind constantly travelled to deep places where no human would be brave enough to go and maybe this is what attracted him to Phil. Phil, in comparison, was a light like no other. His positivity shone through at every occasion and he wasn't one to be a victim of his circumstance. Phil was a child at heart and knew exactly how to cheer someone up making him the perfect companion for Dan. ------ Both boys stood at the door as the taxi pulled up to their driveway. "Goodbye Dan, I'll miss you." Phil hugged his best friend as tightly as he could. "Take care of yourself Phil, I'll see you in a week." Dan strained a smile earning a confused look from Phil who rushed away to satisfy the taxi driver who had began beeping. With a final wave, Dan closed the door and slid down against it, picking up his mobile phone. He went through his list of contacts, not finding anyone who he could actually talk to until he landed on someone. "Hello?" A voice rang out from the other side of the phone. "Louise! Hey I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today." "Dan you sound a bit strange, you feeling okay?" Dan panicked and looked around, not wanting to reveal the burden he had been carrying on his shoulders. In a moment of anger, he hung up the phone. In the time that he was alone, Dan contemplated. He had lived with Phil for only half a year and yet had let himself get attached so quickly and strongly. It was wrong, the whole situation was wrong. He didnt deserve a kind soul like Phil, he didn't deserve anyone just like his father said. (Flashback) "Dad, I have something to tell you." Dan hesitated. "Go on, Dan. Tell your old man will you?" His dad slapped him on the back in a playful manner. "I'm dropping out of college." That was the last time Dan saw light in his father's eyes. They lost their depth and had become hollow and emotionless. He felt a sting not only in his chest, but also on his face. "YOU'RE DROPPING OUT? LIKE HELL YOU ARE, THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT YOU ARE YOUR GRADES AND YOUR FUCKING THOSE UP TOO." Dan cringed at his profanity. "Dad, I want to be a youtuber like Phil and-" A fist collided with Dan's nose and he fell to the floor. His dad towered over him like his worst nightmare and picked him up by the collar, raising him so that his head was touching the lightbulb. "FOR PHIL YEAH? ALL YOU DO NOWADAYS IS FOR PHIL AM I RIGHT YOU FAGGOT." Spit was flying all over Dan's face as the same fist collided with his mouth again only harder. He fell to the ground with tears pouring out of his eyes. Before he knew it, he was being kicked; in the ribs, head, legs everywhere. "DAD PLEASE STOP. PLEASE STOP. IT HURTS SO MUCH." Dan screamed out and his mother ran into the room restraining his father. An evil chuckle came out of the mouth of the abuser. "Do you know what's going to hurt even more, son?" The sarcasm was evident in his father's voice. "When you're living in a fucking box because I'm embarrassed to call you my son. You are nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't deserve any love." His dad tried reaching for him again but his mother stopped him. "Go Dan, before this man kills you. Go and know that I will always love you and I wish you the best." His mother leaned down for a second and cupped her son's face. "Follow your dreams, love. You're going to be so successful." She kissed his forehead and signalled him to leave with her eyes. Dan dragged himself across the floor and left the house as fast as possible - his lip bleeding, bruises everywhere and his heart torn apart. He ran down a couple of streets and into a dark alleyway where he sat and cried. Cried like ten of his family members died simultaneously. The tears just kept coming and the pain in his chest grew and grew. He could feel his insides being torn apart piece by piece, nerve by nerve until everything stopped. It all just stopped. The tears, the pain, the sadness. He was drained both physically and mentally. So he fell asleep there, on the pavement where he belonged; just a lonely, teenage boy who tried following his dreams. ----- Reliving this memory was something he had done often, it was almost like a reminder everyday that he was worthless. He looked in the mirror to see faint scars of where 'he' had hit. His ribs still ached when he moved and his heart hurt. The one man, the one person who Dan had knew for his whole life had betrayed him. The only person he looked up to had left him, abused him, when he was most in need of support. This man had taken Dan away from his mother, the woman who fed him and clothed him for the first eighteen years of his life; all because he was different - because he didn't talk to girls or didn't follow the conventional route of education. Dan felt the desperate urge to release the emotional pain, all the pent up emotion. He retired to the bathroom and picked up the blade which was laying in the cupboard. He held it longingly, wanting to feel the deep slashes of physical pain in his wrist. He didn't consider it self harm - he considered it therapy. It drowned out everything and everyone. It helped in a weird, twisted way. The pleasure and happiness he felt as he watched the blood pour out of his wrist was like a drug but he stopped. "I can't do this." He whispered to himself, putting the razor back. He looked at himself in the mirror seeing a pale, lifeless boy staring back at him. "I promised." ---- Sorry for the darkness. Idk if this is a full story or just this
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