seellove

JJK Enthusiast | 30s | Worshipping at the shrine of Sukuna

[seellove]

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[sukunahs]

a bouquet of brambles | ryomen sukuna

pairing: god!sukuna x priestess!reader (+ a hint of god!gojo x reader)

summary: greek myth au. being sukuna's priestess is all you've known, and you've spent a lifetime alone in his temple, devoting yourself solely to him and his needs.

when a different god appears at your door one day with promises of more than a life in the darkness, both you and sukuna find yourselves in uncharted territory

word count: 10.7k

content: 18+ mdni, greek myth au, smut, dubcon/noncon elements due to power imbalance, loneliness, rejection, devotion, abuse, worship, violence, mean!sukuna, piv, attempted cucking, fingering, biting, rough sex, hurt/comfort, sukuna is bad with feelings and satoru is a little shit

a/n: in honour of this blog's one year anniversary I wanted to pay homage to one of the first fics I wrote on here: this blindness I'm condemned to! so here's another god!sukuna fic with a florence and the machine title hehe

also i want to give a big shoutout to @liahcharms for reigniting my passion for myth fics with all her brilliant works! please go and read everything she's written asap

Sukuna always smelt of blood, drenched in that metallic scent that would infest your nostrils, sticking around long after he’d departed your side. He’d always appear in the dead of night, whenever the temple would fall silent, looking more like a beast than a god. He’d take up the whole doorway with his mighty stature, four arms hanging loose at his side, his twisted face laden with mania. 

It was you that he’d come to see - his sweet, devoted priestess. He’d waste no time with niceties, for you both knew what it was that he wanted, appearing before you to ensure that you honored your oath of service in whichever manner he deemed appropriate. 

Things always played out the same way, with his crimson soaked hands wrapped firmly around your slender neck, sharp fingernails drawing blood while his fingers left pretty little bruises against your skin. He’d grunt as he bent you over his altar, guttural sounds of pleasure leaving his lips as he pressed his mouth against your ear. 

You’d sob and shake beneath him, hands raking desperately against the marble beneath you, tears dripping down your cheeks as you let him sink deeper into you than you’d ever allowed any man to go. 

He’d give you a taste of divinity, of real purpose. He was your god and you served him well, offering yourself fully for his own pleasure and entertainment, and he ate it up every time, filling you up with his seed and leaving you there once he was satisfied, with no regard for your own gratification. 

And there you’d remain in the oppressive silence, shivering at the foot of your shrine to him, awaiting his next visit with rapt enthusiasm. That was your role in this world, your only genuine purpose - you were to give yourself to him and in the times between you were to yearn for his return. 

You were to tend to his temple, greet his worshippers, and provide him with offerings. You were to sleep on the cold marble every night just in case he required your services, you were to have no family, lay with no man, for you were his in every sense of the word. 

Even if he would never be yours. 

Maintaining your oath had never caused you much trouble, for it was the only life you’d grown to know. You had been raised to be a priestess, had tended to the temple since you were eighteen - Sukuna, and your devotion to him, was the only thing that existed in your narrow worldview. 

That was how it was supposed to always be. 

Until one morning a different deity appeared at your door. 

It was a pleasant spring day, and the forest beyond the temple’s walls was brushed with rays of gold, so filled with life in stark contrast to the confines of your shrine. It was always cold in there, tainted with the vague scent of blood and death that followed Sukuna wherever he went. 

Even though you had never seen another of his temples, nor met another of his priestesses, you were certain that the uneasy darkness lingered in any place where he was worshipped. 

And yet, that darkness, which usually extended to your patch of woodland, seemed woefully absent on that temperate morning. On the contrary, the forest seemed more alive than you’d ever seen it, teeming with colour and life - a beauty that felt utterly foreign to your eyes. 

The cause of the change appeared without warning, manifesting between the trees, blue eyes alight with mischief as he strolled towards your humble temple. He had an otherworldly glow about him, a power akin to that of your own god, but rather different in nature. The air around him felt light and airy, like his mere presence could strip away any sense of despair. 

You didn’t know him. You didn’t know any god but your own. You weren’t supposed to. 

Nervously, you’d flinched back, stepping over the threshold back into your temple, peering past the open doors at the figure who came to a halt on your doorstep, a pleasant smile lighting up his handsome face. 

“Good morning,” he hummed, his tone chipper. “I hadn’t expected to find any humans out here - especially not a beautiful woman.” 

“Are- are you here to make an offering?” You asked, struggling to find your voice. You’d found yourself captivated by his ethereal beauty, your eyes skimming over his toned body and the beautiful white toga that adorned it. There was nothing monstrous about him like your own master, he was gorgeous in the most conventional of ways. 

“An offering? To him?” The god snorted as he gestured to the carvings littering the outer walls of the temple. “Absoultely not.” 

Fear fluttered in your heart as you took yet another step back into the comfortable darkness of your home. It felt like Sukuna was draping himself over you, keeping you safe from the stranger before you. For him to so casually put down your god was the gravest insult in this setting, and you wondered if Sukuna might strike him down where he stood. 

Perhaps he’d strike you down too, for even allowing yourself to bear witness to such heresy. 

“I don’t think you should be here.” You tried to sound as confident as you could, to turn this god away before he could cause any issue. You didn’t want any trouble, didn’t want to find yourself breaking any of Sukuna’s rules. 

“You don’t need to sound so afraid, I mean you no harm.” He took another step forward, his toes brushing against the threshold, peering into the darkness at you. “Come and step into the light, so that we can talk properly.” 

Even though you knew it was wrong, you found your legs obeying his command. There was something about the way that he spoke which commanded the same authority that Sukuna did, filling you with a terrifying desire to do as you were told no matter what your brain truly wanted. This god didn’t wield his authority with the darkness that your own master did, but the underlying implication was still there. 

He would have what he wished, and would employ any method to get it. 

Your legs carried you back outside, eyes wide as you observed the man before you. His blue eyes dragged over your form and you caught the way that they seemed to light up with glee. “You’re a gorgeous creature, aren’t you? Typical of Sukuna to keep such secrets to himself. What do you call yourself?” 

You told him meekly, averting your gaze down to the floor. Now that you were standing before him you found your heart racing unfathomably quick, oddly taken by his immense beauty. You’d allowed your mind to wander, to wonder what it would be like to have his delicate hands hold you. 

It was a thought that you were quick to chase away, for fear that Sukuna could hear every one of your deepest desires and punish you for the slightest deviation away from him. 

“How lovely. You can call me Satoru.” The name meant nothing to you. You’d been raised largely in isolation, taught by your parents your role at the temple and abandoned to silence at eighteen. If Satoru was some well-known god, it meant nothing to you. 

He didn’t seem offended by your lack of knowledge. Perhaps he’d expected it. 

“Are you out here all alone?” 

You were, the people in the closest town would bring supplies to you once a fortnight, and beyond that you were left purely to your own devices. It probably wasn’t wise to tell a strange man such a thing, but you got the sense that he’d know if you were lying. 

“I am.” 

“Oh, how I abhor the cruelty of your master, always keeping his poor worshippers in the worst of conditions. If you were my priestess you’d get to live in the most lavish quarters in some lovely city, surrounded by like-minded folk. No woman should have to linger alone in some dark forest.” 

“It suits me here,” you whispered. “I’ve always been here.” 

Satoru scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Then you simply don’t know any better than what your master has taught you.” 

You were certain that you didn’t need to know. With Sukuna the rules for your life were clear, what more could there be? It was an honor to serve him in the way that you did, it was what you were made for. You didn't need pity from some stranger. 

“Look at you, all confused by my words.” A hand reached out for you, your body shaking as a finger tapped the centre of your furrowed brow before withdrawing. “You can’t even begin to comprehend the unfairness of your life.” 

“It's not unfair,” you bit back, quietly. You mostly believed your words, but you’d be lying if you were wholly satisfied. You had no qualms about living in this place, or about serving your lord, but in the times between Sukuna’s visits you were hollow, desperate for him, caught up in wondering what he was doing, wondering how many other priestesses he treated just like you. 

You wanted him to be yours just as you were his, wanted his devotion to you. 

An impossible ask. 

“It is, but you can’t allow yourself to see it,” he said with a sigh, fingers dragging through his soft white hair. “You’re a great prize of his, you know. One of his favourites. He always likes to brag about your beauty but never wishes to share - he isn’t a man who likes others playing with what belongs to him, even when he has so much.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, not sure what to make of that. You wanted to be flattered but your joy was unraveled by the use of the phrase ‘one of his favourites’. For now he treasured you, saw you as something valuable amongst all he had. One day you’d slide down that list, once your looks started to fail you. 

“I’m here because I had to gaze upon the one that even a monster would desire so deeply.” Your eyes widened in surprise, studying the look on his face. You could sense no trace of dishonesty, his expression open and welcoming, his thoughts written across his face. 

The complete opposite to Sukuna’s perpetually guarded frown. 

“You were certainly worth the journey,” he continued, when you offered him nothing but silence. You should’ve told him to stop when he reached for you once more, but you remained frozen, completely dumbfounded as his hand traced along your soft cheek. It was a caress gentler than any that Sukuna had given you. 

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” you murmured, terrified of what the consequences for his actions would be. You were surprised to find that you didn’t want him to stop, your heart battering against your ribcage at being shown such careful attention for once in your lonely life. 

It was a dangerous feeling.

“I would provide you so much more than he ever could,” he whispered, leaning forward. “I’d give you a place in the light, a place at my side. Beauty like yours doesn’t deserve to be hidden away, it should be celebrated.” 

Your breath hitched as he closed the gap between you. His nose brushed against yours, lips inching closer, and for a second you almost gave in, almost allowed temptation to win out over the oath that you’d bound yourself to. But you had lived a life of discipline, and when you pushed him back with all of your strength, it was your body acting on instinct. 

Kissing him wasn’t right. It would be a betrayal of everything that you lived for. Besides, your parents had warned you about schemes of other gods, warning that if you were to ever encounter one, you would find that they took great enjoyment in playing with humans. 

That was what this was. This man didn’t know you, didn’t care for you. You could feel the dislike for your master rolling off him in waves. He was here to humiliate his opponent, to claim something of his. 

You would be no pawn in his game. 

“I wish for you to leave,” you said as firmly as you could, your heart still fluttering in your chest. “My master would not want you here." 

There was a flicker of hurt in Satoru’s eyes, but he dropped his hands to his sides all the same, stepping back with a somber nod. “He wouldn’t, you’re right. But you should not wish to be here either, for you deserve more than the darkness he shrouds you in.” 

“It- it is what I have chosen.” 

“It is what has been forced upon you,” he countered, offering you a sad smile. “But when you one day choose to free yourself of it, I will be waiting.” 

And just like that, Satoru disappeared, taking the brilliant light of the morning away with him. For some reason you felt cold, an empty emotion not unlike that which would plague you whenever Sukuna would leave you broken and naked on the temple floor. It had been nice to talk to someone, nice to feel the sun on your skin. 

Even if it was all just trickery from some malicious man hellbent on separating you from your duty. 

It was a week after that encounter that Sukuna darkened your door again, in the manner he always would.

Your encounter went much as usual, speaking no words of greeting as he approached, his hands tearing at your clothes, fingers holding you with a bruising grip as he took you beneath him. He was as rough as ever and you enjoyed it all the same, soft whimpers echoing around the temple as you chanted his name like a prayer. 

But when he was done, he didn’t leave in silence as he usually would. Instead, he drew himself up to his full height, towering over your frail body which he’d discarded so carelessly on the cold floor. His red eyes were fixed on you with an unusual intensity, two of his hands resting on his hips while the other two crossed firmly over his chest. 

“You had a visitor this week. Didn’t you?” The question came out as a deep rumble, sending fear coursing through your vulnerable form. 

“Yes.” You kept your eyes down. You weren’t supposed to look up at him without his permission, he was too divine for your eyes to gaze upon openly. 

“And what did you think of him, this visitor?” 

You weren’t quite sure what to say. If you were to tell him the truth, to suggest that you found Satoru captivating in any way, you feared the punishment that may follow. On the other hand, if you tried lying only for him to realise that you were attempting to deceive him, that could land you in even deeper trouble. 

The last thing you wanted was to disappoint him. 

“He was…strange. He was like you but not.” You chose your words carefully, omitting your feelings on the matter. 

Sukuna let out an amused huff. “There is no one like me, little priestess. But to your untrained eye I can understand what you’re trying to say - he held a power beyond your comprehension, and by extension you find us to be similar.” 

Disagreeing with him would be foolish so you simply nodded in agreement, your gaze still trained upon the ground, even as you heard him shifting before you. He crouched, one of his lower hands pressing against your chin and raising your face to look at him.

“What of your opinion on him? Did you enjoy his visit? Do you yearn for him to return with all his foolish light and greenery?”

“No.” The lie slipped out before you could stop it, before you had the chance to truly consider your answer. 

He blinked, a slow grin spreading across his tanned face, his canines pointed and sharp, still dripping with blood he’d withdrawn from your neck minutes prior. “No? Such a well trained little thing,” he hummed, a hand coming down to your hair and stroking it with something akin to affection, like an owner praising their pet. “Though, I thought you’d know better than to lie to me.” 

The grip in your hair tightened, strands pulling at your scalp. A soft yelp left your lips, eyes welling with tears, your gaze still fixed on him as he’d commanded.

“I can hear your heart fluttering, your blood rushing through those delicate veins of yours. I think you wish to see him again, perhaps you yearn for him to visit you in the way I do.” 

You shook your head as best as you could while still confined within his firm grip. Even if you were curious about your visitor, infatuated by the light which he seemed to bathe himself in, you had no desire for his visits to be even remotely similar to Sukuna’s. The humiliation of being taken and abandoned by one god was enough, your heart would not cope with a second. 

“I’m loyal to you, master. Only to you.” 

There was a soft tremble to your voice, your skin prickling with fear. The look on Sukuna’s face was manic, like it always was when he’d fuck you, or when he’d dump a corpse on the temple’s doorstep. There was an electricity to him that told you he had little tolerance where Satoru was concerned, and as his hand twisted in your hair, you felt certain he’d tear your head from your shoulders. 

“Is that so?” He asked, his booming voice echoing around the temple. For a moment, a look which seemed almost conflicted flickered in his red eyes, but it was gone before you could truly verify its existence, replaced by his usual hardened gaze. 

“Yes. I take joy in nothing but serving you.” 

You were starting to grow cold, the chill of the temple’s marble seeping into your exposed skin. He’d seen you in this state time and time again, but to kneel naked before him and talk was different to being fucked by him, it felt too vulnerable, building an urge within you to cover yourself from his gaze. 

Fortunately, your mind stopped you from attempting to draw your arms across your breasts. You were his property and he could gaze upon you as he pleased, you had no right to obscure what had always been his. 

Releasing his grip on your hair, he let you crumple down before him. He then brushed the strands tenderly over your bare shoulders, gentle enough for you to mistake it for the touch of a lover. The coolness of his tone dispelled any such illusion as he whispered in your ear. 

“Make sure to remember it. Lie to me again or find comfort in that fool, and I’ll make sure you regret it for the rest of your pathetic little life.”  

And just like that, he was gone, the warmth of his breath still hot against your ear, your stomach churning with guilt beneath the weight of his bitter disappointment.

Satoru visited again the following day.

He was already waiting for you outside as you threw open the doors to the temple at dawn, leaning against a tree, skin glistening beneath the sun’s gorgeous rays. Doves were flittering around him, whistling away with some merry tune that seemed so out of place within the shadow of your temple. 

Once more, you found yourself faltering, glancing back towards the safety of your temple and wondering if you should barricade yourself inside, your master’s threat hanging heavy in your mind. 

But the warmth and comfort that the god before you exuded was attractive, pulling your feet towards him just like the first time, a moth to his brightly burning flame. He seemed overjoyed at the sight of your nervous figure before him, shuffling about and avoiding his gaze, jumping at every shadow in the forest behind him, as if Sukuna would emerge from the trees. 

“So nervous.” Satoru commented, blue eyes skimming over your form. “You have nothing to fear from me, lovely priestess.” 

“It is not you who I fear.” 

“Ah, of course not.” Pushing the subject no further, the god offered you a soft smile before lowering himself down onto the grass before you, sitting cross-legged on the ground. A flicker of confusion registered within you, for service to Sukuna had taught you that he was never to be beneath you, it would always be him towering over you. 

Satoru seemed to hold no such views, looking up at you easily. 

“Sit with me.” 

Glancing around once more, you shook your head. “I cannot. I told you before, you should not be here.” 

Satoru scoffed, a playful glint in his cerulean eyes. “He doesn’t know I’m here. We’re not all-knowing, and he’s off dealing with some war right about now, his attention couldn’t be further from you.” 

“He knew you were here before.” You pointed out, shuffling your bare feet awkwardly in the grass, pretending to find interest in the way your toes wrapped around the blades to avoid meeting the gaze of the being before you. 

“That was my error. I had been callous in my approach here the first time, unbothered by the idea of him knowing that I’d gone to look at what was his. For that I apologise. I had not realised the way in which it would impact you.” Satoru seemed genuinely sorry for his actions, worry creasing on his otherwise perfect face. 

Part of you wondered if it was an act, but you didn’t linger on the thought for too long. You hadn’t experienced kindness in a very long time, and that alone had your resolve wavering. 

“Please sit. I brought you an offering.” He patted the grass beside him, and you hesitated for just a moment before doing as he asked, intrigued at the thought of a god bringing you an offering. Sukuna had never given you anything, why should he? And yet, Satoru snapped his fingers and a whole spread of food appeared on the ground before you. 

It was a feast for Kings, an exorbitant amount, the likes of which you’d never witnessed in your lifetime. 

Stale bread and the odd bit of cheese had become the staple of your diet over the years, that was all the people from the nearby village were willing to spare for a priestess of a war god, especially when your region had been experiencing peaceful times for as long as you’d lived. 

“This is too much for you to offer me,” you said politely, trying to decline. You were concerned that indulging in wines and meats would be apparent to Sukuna on your breath, perhaps even on your body, for it might stop your skin from stretching uncomfortably over your bones like it did currently. 

Satoru shook his head, beaming at you. “This is nothing. Eat. You’re such a frail little thing, he clearly doesn't feed you enough, so let me help you.” 

You knew it was wrong, knew that you should turn down his offering just like Sukuna would want you to. After all, if your master believed your diet should be so limited, you were in no position to question his judgement. But your piety did little to override the desires of your body, and humiliatingly you could feel yourself starting to salivate. 

He didn’t have to know. You’d eat just enough to sate your hunger and that would be that. You didn’t need to overindulge. 

Hastily stuffing some grapes into your mouth, the pleased look on Satoru’s face emboldened you to continue. Even if he wasn’t the god you were supposed to serve, there was something about him that led you to desire his approval in the same way you desired Sukuna’s. Perhaps it was the knowledge that he could kill you just as easily as your own master could, if he so wished. 

“That’s it,” he chirped. “Enjoy it.” You grew so preoccupied with your feast, luxuriating in a range of flavours that you’d never known, that it came as a surprise to you when a warm hand brushed your neck, long fingers trailing delicately down your nape. 

You withdrew quickly, jumping like some frightened stray cat, eyes wide and worried, unsure of the god’s intentions. He remained unfettered, dropping his hand and studying you like you were a matter of greater interest than some common priestess. 

“Are you sure you’re no nymph? Perhaps some forgotten daughter of another god, cast out into the fringes of our minds?” The honeyed words had your pulse racing, unsure what to make of the compliment. It felt pleasant to be praised, but he was not the man you should be seeking praise from. “You’re so fair, it makes me want to hide you away from Sukuna.” 

He spat out your master’s name like a curse, something dark and unbefitting of his light and lovely voice. You said nothing, peering back at him as you remained crouched in silence. There wasn’t a chance that you’d even acknowledge such a statement, for you knew acknowledgement tended to count as consent amongst gods. 

Satoru shuffled closer once more, “this mark on the back of your neck, he left it on you?” His fingers were back on your skin now, pressing down on what you assumed must be a bruise. You hadn’t kept track of the marks on your body in a long time, aware that Sukuna would often leave them in his wake. They had never really bothered you. 

And yet, Satoru looked concerned.

“I suppose so,” you mumbled. 

Scoffing, he shook his head. “What a barbarian.” 

Again, you found yourself glancing into the darkness of the trees, despising the idea that Sukuna might potentially be listening in on the exchange, waiting for you to slip up. If he was, you wanted him to be certain that you weren’t going along with Satoru’s complaints towards him. 

“He’s not…a barbarian,” you whispered. Despite Sukuna’s treatment of you, it wasn’t so easy for you to cast aside your master. You loved him, you’d always loved him, it was practically built into your body. If he wanted to use you, he was free to do so, if he wanted to kill you, that was up to him. 

Satoru looked sad, carefully withdrawing his hand and dropping it into his lap. It was evident that he’d thought this conversation would go a different way. “Do you enjoy my company?” He asked. 

“I do.” There was no point in being dishonest. The green, airy atmosphere that he brought along with his presence was pleasant, and the opportunity to speak aloud to someone for once in your lonely life felt freeing, even if you knew it to be wrong. But that was where your rule-breaking would stop. You could dip your toes in the pools of possibility, but there were lines you would never cross. 

“I was here last night, you know.” He spoke. 

A chill ran through you at his words. 

“Is that how your visits from him always play out? Letting him have his way with you without so much as a hello? Receiving everything he could possibly want and then leaving you cold and shivering on the floor, praying for a sliver of his affection?” 

You wondered if Sukuna had known that Satoru was watching, if he’d revelled in the idea of an audience. Perhaps he simply didn’t care at all, why should it bother him if there was someone watching him lay claim to what was his? 

“That’s my role,” you said mechanically, upon the realisation that Satoru was waiting for an answer. 

“And again I must ask, you’re happy with that role?” 

“Yes.” 

“Happy for him to leave you in solitude? To take you with such violence and then berate you for talking to another, all while he’s free to do as he pleases?” 

“Yes.” You lied, more than happy to pretend that you didn’t spend your nights dreaming of more, fantasising about a life in which you could stay in Sukuna’s embrace, rather than wrapped in the cool emptiness of his temple. 

“And when you grow older? When your looks start to fail you and he ceases his visits, how do you think you'll feel about your role then?” 

The anxiety gripped your heart like a vice. The thought of Sukuna discarding you entirely was something you’d often considered, seeping into the cracks of your mind on your loneliest nights. There was nothing you could do to stop it, for time would march on and you would age, and he would find some new beautiful priestess to have as his favourite. 

“You’ll miss him.” Satoru said, answering the question for you. “You’ll lament and suffer and wish that he’d given you something to keep. You’ll realise that all your faith and devotion meant nothing to him, while he meant everything to you.” 

Tears began to stream down your cheeks before you could stop them, and you found yourself recoiling away from Satoru, feeling suddenly cold. 

“There will be no worth to your life, no honor given to you for your devotion and service. He’ll discard you, just as he discards everything that no longer qualifies as interesting to him. If your loneliness is strong now, it is nothing to what it will be when he’s gone for good, fascinated wholly with another while you wither into obscurity.”

A whimper escaped you, tears dripping onto the grass below as the god before you laid out the future that you’d never wished to consider. Perhaps he was the god of prophecy, witnessing your fate even before it could play out, but he didn’t need to be for your path to stand clear - it had always been obvious to you that things could only end one way. 

Sukuna would cast you out, and that would be that. 

“I don’t- I can’t-” 

“Shhh.” Satoru moved closer, curling around you in a gentle embrace. “Not all is lost.”

Shoulders shaking, you let him hold you, overwhelmed by such a lovely show of warmth and affection that you’d lacked your whole life. He was cooing quietly, stroking your hair with one hand and wiping your tears with the other. It was like he’d ripped your broken heart from your chest just so he could prove to you that it was in pieces, and you weren’t quite sure what to do with that. 

You shouldn’t have huddled up against him, shouldn’t have allowed his comfort, but what was a mere human supposed to do? Whether you obeyed Sukuna or not, the outcome of him casting you aside one day wouldn’t change. 

At least for now, if you disobeyed him, you could experience comfort for once. 

The two of you stayed there for a long time, long enough that by the time Satoru was pulling away, you felt like you’d almost melded into his slender form. “I can make you my priestess, I can make you my world. Beauty like yours is rare, and would never cast it aside like he does, not in old age. I would leave you not in solitude, but keep you in the warmth of my arms for eternity if you’d allow me.” 

“I can’t, I’m his, I want to be his, I-” 

“He’ll never be yours.” His blue eyes were sparkling as he regarded you with a serious look, one filled with desire. “But I can be. I have gazed upon you for longer than I should admit, have stalked about in these woods and watched Sukuna mishandle beauty that deserves more. Let me give you more.” 

Your stomach was churning with anxiety, not sure what to do. Your mind and heart were screaming away about your loyalty to the only master you’d ever known, to the god that you loved, reminding you of the consequences for even hearing Satoru’s offer to completion. 

But there was no denying the desire in your body. 

You felt warm for the first time in eternity, and you didn’t want the softness of Satoru’s touch to leave you. If you couldn’t be held by the one you loved, then it was better to be held by another than abandoned to loneliness when Sukuna grew tired of you.

Satoru’s fingers were grazing your cheeks with the utmost care, so gentle compared to your master’s rough hands. You mewled softly under his touch, pathetic in the way you leaned up against him, letting him pet you affectionately like you were some treasured cat. 

You’d never had much of your own autonomy, always reliant on gods to tell you what you needed to be. You supposed whether that god was Sukuna or Satoru made no real difference. But if one’s light would stay, allowing you to bask in its warmth for a time, that was preferable to one who would leave you to starve in the dark. 

As Satoru pulled you up from the floor, you allowed yourself to be cradled within his strong arms, too distraught over the matter of your master to register the peril involved as the god crossed the threshold into the temple, a domain where he was surely not welcome. 

Seemingly unphased, he took a seat on one of the marble benches just before the altar, holding you carefully in his lap and drying away the last of your tears. “There, there,” he soothed. “Let me look after you.” 

Allowing yourself to melt into his arms, you did nothing to prevent the slow brush of his pink lips against yours, mouth parting for his tongue as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You supposed that in a way, it was, Sukuna had taught you nothing but obedience, so with Satoru’s grip so firm and welcoming, what were you supposed to do if not obey? 

Satoru’s lips tasted surprisingly sweet, the faintest taste of cherry lingering upon them. One of hands moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth in a manner that was more curious than domineering. Your fingers gripped at the fabric of his clothes, anchoring yourself to him, like you might lose yourself in his kiss. 

There was no attempt made to prevent his other hand from wandering to the shoulders of your dress, slipping the loose fabric down your arms and allowing it to pool at your waist. Your nipples were perked, whether from arousal or the cool air of the temple, you weren’t quite sure; any thoughts on the matter fled your mind as Satoru broke the kiss and hoisted you up a little, letting his lips find one of your nipples, his tongue flicking against it before taking that sensitive bud into his mouth. 

It pulled a pathetic little whine from you as you clung desperately to his shoulders. This wasn’t something that Sukuna had ever done. His focus had never been on your pleasure, but on meeting his own needs - to experience such devoted touch felt strange, but not unpleasant by any means. 

One of Satoru’s hands moved up your leg, pushing beneath the remaining fabric of your dress and finding itself in the space between your thighs. His long fingers navigated carefully over your pussy, with a gentleness that your master had never possessed, moving slick through your folds and circling a spot which had you whimpering. 

For a few minutes, you were lost in it all. You were off somewhere else in your mind, in some lovely field that befitted Satoru’s pleasant atmosphere, where the two of you could lay beneath the sun and make love amongst the flowers for all eternity. 

It was an illusion that shattered quickly. 

Satoru was just in the process of repositioning you. He’d discarded your white dress entirely, carrying you over to the altar and lifting you to sit atop something that you’d previously only ever been bent over. He’d spread your legs and knelt down before you, peering up from his place beneath you with an expression laden with desire. 

His breath had fanned over your exposed core, your body trembling at his proximity, in desperate anticipation of what it might feel like to have his tongue pressed up against you. 

But the moment he leaned in to give you what you’d been awaiting with bated breath, a large hand found its way into your hair and dragged you violently to the ground. You yelped desperately, struggling beneath an unwavering grip, your shoulder aching where it had bashed against the marble. 

“Stay still.” The voice was cold and bone-chillingly familiar. 

Sukuna wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were fixed evenly on Satoru, who was carefully picking himself up off the floor. His neck and chest was stained with a gold liquid, flowing from a cut which was swiftly closing itself up on his pale neck. 

Blinking, panic began to rise up in your chest. You wanted to fidget, to beg Sukuna for mercy and forgiveness, but such an action would be foolish, so you stayed deathly still in his grip, a rabbit accepting its fate within the jaws of a wolf. 

“I suppose you find this amusing, an attempt to defile what’s mine within my own temple. Did you think I wouldn’t know?” Sukuna’s voice was calm, with a dangerous edge to it. He was addressing Satoru alone, still not bothering to spare a glance at you. 

Satoru shrugged, an impish grin spreading across his face. “I thought you were busy.” 

Sukuna scoffed. “If I broke into one of your frivolous brothels that you refer to as temples, you’d know the second I took a step over the threshold. So what was this? An attempt to upset me?” 

“Why would you be upset?” Satoru asked, pleasantly. 

“You know I don’t like to share,” he said, his grip on you tightening. 

“You have any number of lovely priestesses, where’s the harm in letting me have one?” Sukuna’s red eyes flickered with annoyance, and for the first time he looked at you, a mix of fury and disappointment present on his terrifyingly beautiful face. 

“And you. How dare you?” He asked, dismissing Satoru’s question entirely, his full attention fixed on your quivering form. “Speak.” He barked when you failed to answer swiftly. 

“He- I- I’m sorry-” 

There was no explanation for your lack of loyalty, nothing beyond admitting that you were afraid to be alone, that you loved Sukuna so deeply that you could no longer bear the nature of your relationship. But telling him that would make him just as angry as telling him nothing. 

You weren’t supposed to want anything. You were nothing more than a servant to him with no will of her own. 

You yelped as he slapped you hard across the face, ears ringing at the force of the blow. “I should kill you for this, rip you apart for offering yourself to another. To receive what I give you is an honour, and you’re too much of a whore to be thankful.” He spat.

“I am, I am thankful.” You were mumbling as you tried to sit up, stumbling over your words as one of Sukuna’s hands came to press down on your delicate neck. “I’m sorry, it was a mistake, I didn’t mean to- I was scared-” 

“Scared?” Sukuna’s tone was mocking, his eyes alight with fury. “Scared of him?” He asked, jerking his thumb in the direction of Satoru, who was watching on with detached curiosity. The sight made your stomach churn, because that man’s honeyed words had moved and confused you and now he seemed unbothered by the whole matter. 

Such was the way of gods, as your parents used to say. Mortals were little more than ants to them. 

“Not scared of h-him.” Your answer was honest, because you didn’t truly believe Satoru to be a threat to you. Had you turned him down outside you were certain that he would’ve left you be, the issue was that he’d understood exactly what to say to get you to give in.

You were a fool, falling for nothing more than a silver tongue.

“Then what? Because there is nothing you should fear more than my wrath, little priestess, I thought you were smart enough to understand at least that.” 

His grip was tightening as he leant more of his weight atop you, keeping you helplessly still. Your lungs started to burn, fingers reaching up to grapple at his wrist to no avail.

You could hardly fend off a human man, let alone the god of war himself. 

“I fear- I fear your absence.” You confessed honestly, humiliation filling you at the sheer patheticness of your words. It was an insult to voice such things, to expect that you’d be worthy of his time or attention in any capacity. 

Sukuna’s red eyes flew wide at your words and his grip faltered ever so slightly. “My…absence?” 

“Yes,” you whispered. “One day you’ll leave me alone in the dark for good and I’ll h-have nothing.” 

For a moment he was silent, brow furrowed as if in thought, before seemingly regaining his composure, his expression hardening.

“So you thought to whore yourself out to this fool instead?” He spat. “Forsake everything I’ve taught you, the very vow that you should live by, because you’re afraid of being lonely?”

You nodded as best as you could beneath his grip. “I’m sorry-“

“Pathetic. I’d thought of you as one of my best. I suppose I misjudged you.”

The disappointment in his tone had tears prickling at your eyes, filled to the brim with guilt. In the heat of the moment, Satoru’s points had made sense, had tugged at all your deepest fears. But now, with Sukuna’s weight pressing down upon you, all you could think about was how much of a fraud you were.

How spectacularly you’d failed at the one thing that gave your life meaning. 

“Are- are you going to kill me?” Your voice was tiny, for beneath the judgement of your cherished master you were nothing more than a scared girl who understood little of gods and their whims. 

Again, there was a flicker of something uncertain on Sukuna’s face, like he hadn’t anticipated those words to fall from your lips. You barely tensed as his fingers tightened around your throat once more, leaving you certain that he was moments from squeezing the life from your fragile body.

Part of you hoped Satoru would step in, but it was clear that he wouldn’t, simply lounging on one of the marble benches, watching the exchange with rapt attention. It was becoming apparent that he hadn’t had your best intentions in mind, no more of a friend to you than Sukuna was.

Perhaps all he’d wanted was to have some fun with some poor, hapless mortal.

Letting your eyes flutter closed, you sank back against the marble, accepting the fate Sukuna had deemed befitting of your crime. But before the sweet release of death could find you, the grip on your neck disappeared along with the weight of his body above you.

“You’re not even worth that,” Sukuna hissed, leaving you crumpled and gasping for breath, utterly confused and broken by his decision. “Drown in your sorrow, for I’ll give you nothing.” 

It was the perfect humiliation, a suggestion that you weren’t even worth attention in the form of death, and before you could stop yourself you were sobbing openly, your cries bouncing around the marble walls.

Sukuna paid you no mind, heavy feet slamming across the floor in the direction of the doorway, only to freeze at the sound of Satoru’s calm voice from behind him. 

“Like you’ve ever given her anything.”

“What?” Sukuna hissed, peering over his shoulder. 

“You heard me. She told you what she feared, why she did this, and you still don’t understand. You’ve always been a fool,” Satoru chirped. 

Sukuna remained frozen to the spot as the white-haired god approached you, crouching down behind you and pulling you carefully into his grip. 

“How many times have you visited this temple, Sukuna?” Satoru’s fingers were toying with your body, running across your soft skin. His fingers brushed over your nipples and you flinched ever so slightly, your breathing picking up as his hand moved between your legs. Despite the situation you could feel your arousal growing, the sensation only heightened by the crimson eyes fixed fiercely onto your figure. 

“What does it matter?” 

“Do you remember?” Satoru purred against your ears. 

You nodded, struggling to find your voice. “Eighty-three times.” You whispered, meekly. You could remember each visit with staggering clarity, no matter how similar each one may have been. 

Satoru whistled. “That’s a lot. How often do you visit your other temples, Sukuna? Once? Twice? Never?” 

The fingers dancing over your skin didn’t stop, and you felt that familiar pleasure building beneath Satoru’s touch, a pleasant comfort buzzing through your veins and chasing away the desperate fear which had plagued you moments ago. You saw Sukuna’s throat bob, a flicker of something deeply unhappy in his eyes as Satoru slipped a finger into you once more, all for him to see. 

“I don’t see why it's any of your concern,” he said, finally.

“No? I suppose you don’t mind then, that I’m doing this to your favourite priestess. I suppose you wouldn’t mind if I made her one of mine, fucked her over my altar just like you used to.” 

“I suppose not. She’s nothing. Just some pretty mortal who can’t even follow rules.” Sukuna’s tone was even, but still he didn’t move. His eyes were watching Satoru carefully, as if assessing his next steps. 

“Great.” Satoru picked you up, and sat you down on the altar once more, back in the position that he’d put you in so carefully before Sukuna’s arrival. “I won’t waste any time then.” Discarding his own clothes, he dropped them down onto the marble. Your eyes scanned his form nervously - you were accustomed to being with Sukuna, familiar with his size, and found yourself glad to see that Satoru was smaller. 

Not that you meant that in any sort of disparaging way. 

He had a pretty cock, still thick and girthy, but the type that would bring you pleasure rather than stretch you out to the point of pain. Satoru smiled as he gazed down at you, a reassuring look that had your heart fluttering. Carefully he cupped your face, running his thumb over the purple bruise blossoming over your cheek. 

Fingers clinging to his shoulders, you sucked in a breath as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds. And yet, you couldn’t keep your attention fixed on the man before you, your gaze instinctively drifting to the hulking god standing in the doorway. His red gaze met yours, and there was a moment of terror in which you wondered if he’d kill you for looking at him without permission. 

Instead, he held your stare, your heart beating harder as Satoru started to push into you, imagining that it was Sukuna holding you so tenderly, pushing into you with care and desire beyond animalistic need. 

“Stop.” Sukuna uttered the word in such a low tone that you weren’t quite sure you’d caught it, figuring it was a hallucination born from your own need for the god. When he repeated it a second time, there was no mistaking its reality, for it came out as a bellow, a new deep cut appearing across Satoru’s back. 

And then another.

And another. 

Until the white-haired god was covered in a litany of slashes, pulling back from you swiftly, leaving you cold in your propped up position upon the altar. Your body began to tremble, hardly noticing the way Satoru was cursing off to the side of you, desperately trying to heal the damage Sukuna had caused to him. 

You were too transfixed by your master storming towards you, wondering if Satoru’s slight had led Sukuna to change his mind about killing you. 

With your breath picking up desperately, you were sure that you looked utterly terrified as he came to a stop before you, towering over you just as he always did. His shadow completely eclipsed you, and the hairs on your arm were standing on end, the desire to run overcoming you. But you’d seen what had happened to Satoru, a being who couldn’t be killed - one singular slash would spell your end. 

“Tell me,” Sukuna said calmly. “What is it that you want? Do you despise me? Do you long for him and his temples of light?” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

You shook your head again. 

“Then what?” 

“I told you already.” Your voice was soft and small. “I love you, and I want- I want you to love me.” It felt pathetic to say out loud, to give voice to a request so selfish and impossible. What were you to your master? 

Nothing more than a mortal priestess. 

And yet, after a moment of thought, he answered your question seriously. “I am no god of love. It is not something I could give to you even if I wanted to.” 

Before he could say anything further, he was interrupted by the sound of Satoru’s laughter. The sound came out a little odd, making a gargling noise like he was choking on his own blood as he desperately tried to heal his wounds. “You’re such a fool, Sukuna.” 

Glaring at him, Sukuna’s brows furrowed and another slash appeared across Satoru’s chest. It didn’t seem to phase him - in the time that you’d spent with him, you’d come to realise that few things did. 

“Why do you visit her so frequently? Why indulge in her flesh when you have countless others? What reason can you give?” Satoru pushed. “I have seen you murder for matters most frivolous, but when you find her, your most devoted little thing, in the arms of another you let her go free? Cause her no more injury than a mere strike?”

“I do as I please, I need to offer you no explanation for my actions.” Sukuna hissed, still pinning you beneath his gaze as he dismissed his peer. 

“No, but maybe you should try offering yourself one.” 

Sukuna was frozen, his expression unchanging as he stared down at you. You weren’t sure what to make of the glimmer in your eye, feeling completely exposed beneath his gaze. You wanted to sink into the floor, didn’t want to endure any further humiliation or dismissal. You understood your place with great clarity, you needed no further confirmation. 

“I’m sorry, please, there’s nothing wrong with our arrangement. I’m wrong to be upset. It's my role to serve whatever you desire. I’m sorry.” You chanted out apologies like a prayer, unsure as to what was going through Sukuna’s mind. You were shifting about awkwardly on the altar, feeling too vulnerable beneath his gaze. 

“Oh stop, you. That’s not what you really think.” Satoru cut in. “I’ve been watching you long enough to know your mind, and I’ve always known his. I’d appreciate it if you both stop wasting my time.” 

“Stop wasting…?” You faltered, falling silent, struggling to understand Satoru’s words. He ran a hand carefully through his hair, gaze flickering between you and Sukuna. 

Sukuna's brow furrowed further, finally pulling his gaze from you to look at his fellow god. “I knew you were playing some kind of game.” 

“Oh please, you constantly go off to some poxy little temple on an island forgotten by all of us and expect me not to notice something odd? I had to take a look at what had captured your attention, and to see how you were handling it made me feel embarrassed. I figured I’d give you a push in the right direction. Now go on. Stop lying to yourself.” 

For a moment, it seemed like Sukuna might make a move to attack Satoru, clear rage smouldering in the crimson of his eyes. But by some miracle, his attention turned back to you, and that anger dissipated, giving way to an expression which you were unfamiliar with. 

Shaking, your breath hitched as his fingers trailed beneath your chin. You couldn’t follow what was happening, struggling to piece together the role that Satoru had played here, unclear on whether Sukuna had forgiven you, half convinced that he’d behead you for the annoyance that Satoru had caused him. 

Instead, he leant forward, breath fanning against your face. 

“Do you even know how to kiss?” Satoru interrupted. “She likes that, you know, seemed desperate for it when I-”

“Silence.” 

Sukuna’s thumb stroked along your jaw, and you blinked nervously, eyes darting anywhere but his face. This was uncharted territory, unaccustomed to facing him like this at all, let alone being treated with such tenderness. Anxiety swirled in your stomach, conscious that this act of warmth might be something final.

“Look at me,” he commanded, and you did, staring directly into the deep crimson of his eyes. 

The kiss that followed was slow, stealing the breath from your lungs as his lips pressed against yours, almost tentatively. It was in stark contrast to his usual vigor and aggression, the contact careful in nature.

His tongue pressed into your mouth, dominating you as was always his way, but not devouring you completely as he usually would. The exploration was more like a dance, his tongue flicking curiously against yours as one of his hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him. 

The warmth of his body was new to you, accustomed solely to the weight of him taking you from behind, completely detached from heat and affection. To feel his chest against yours, radiating heat against your smaller form, had your heart racing. 

“Not so hard, is it?” Satoru quipped, only for Sukuna to pull away for a moment and fix him with a glare.

“I will chop you into pieces.” 

“Pretend I’m not here.” Satoru raised his hands defensively, and that seemed to be good enough for Sukuna, his attention turned back to you. Your lashes were fluttering, legs pressing against his waist, the sweat forcing your skin to stick against his. 

“What-”

“You should stay quiet too.” He spoke, albeit more softly than the sharp tone directed to Satoru. “Lest I change my mind.” 

You took his order as gospel, clamping your mouth shut and deciding that you didn’t need an explanation at that moment, despite your confusion. If he was going to treat you with reverence, you’d rather experience such a thing firsthand than force an explanation out of him.

There was no way you’d take the risk of disrupting whatever was currently taking place. 

Leaning in once more, you instinctively closed your eyes at his approach, a little surprised as he stalled just before contact, the skin of his lips ghosting against yours. A hand went to your cheek, brushing over the flowering purple bruise. Wincing, you found yourself watching him carefully, like a deer assessing a new being in the forest, one whose level of threat remained unclear. 

Caressing the bruise, he let out a heavy sigh before a lovely sense of warmth spread through your face, emitting from his hand. Moments later it was gone, along with the throbbing pain in your cheek, like he’d undone the damage he’d caused.

Before you could question it or thank him, his lips were on yours once again, soft and enticing, pulling you against him in an embrace that felt reserved for lovers, rather than one of a god getting his fill of a servant. 

His four hands started to roam over your body, brushing your breasts, squeezing your thighs, feeling you as if it were the first time his hands had touched your flesh. One of his hands moved between your legs, experimentally moving the slick through your folds, a thick finger dipping into you. 

Such attention had you whining against him, a sound that was swiftly swallowed by his lips. His finger was thicker than Satoru’s had been, working you open carefully, an action he had never thought to take in the past. You couldn’t understand the effect that Satoru had created within him, unsure as to how he’d gone from hitting and rejecting you, to offering you affection he’d never allowed before. 

He slid another finger into you, stretching you out until he was satisfied, his lips locked against yours until he was pulling his fingers back. “Suck.” He ordered gruffly, a trace of his old self present in the way his fingers pressed against your lips, forcing their way into your mouth. 

Satoru made a sound of disapproval in the background, reminding you of his presence, but if Sukuna heard, he paid the man no mind. He seemed too focused on your body spread out before him, your wide eyes looking up at him nervously. 

He shed his clothes in a single action, letting the fabric pool on the floor beside yours. Your eyes instinctively moved down to where his cock hung heavy between his legs, the monstrous size never failing to steal your breath away. You could hardly believe the number of times he’d sheathed the thing within you without any effort of preparation, your body adapting because it was what he required. 

This time was different. 

Mirroring the treatment that Satoru had given you earlier, Sukuna carefully ran the tip of his cock through your folds, red eyes fixed on your face. You felt shy, eager to turn your face away. It was easier to do this in the manner he usually would, with you bent over while he took you from behind. Gazing upon him so openly felt too vulnerable for your liking, even if the lust in his eyes had your heart racing. 

“You are my favoured one.” Sukuna’s voice was deep, “understand that, because I do not wish to speak more on the matter.” 

Lips parting, the question of what that meant dangled on your tongue. To you it suggested the situation was the same as before - for now he favoured you, in a few years time the matter would be different. 

He seemed to understand your concern before you could voice it. 

“I will not toss you aside for something as trivial as old age. To attract my attention is something significant, not a matter of simple youthful looks.” A yelp fell from your throat as he pushed himself into you, easily filling you to the brim, just like he always would. 

You had a million questions running through your mind, wondering where his true feelings towards you lay. It was clear that Satoru understood him better than you did, pushing him to some sort of conclusion that he wouldn’t have stumbled upon on his own. 

“Do not betray me again.” He huffed in your ear, breath warm against your skin. “Do so and I will not forgive you, you’ll receive no more mercy than my enemies would. But cling to your loyalty and I will give you what you seek. You’ll have my attention, my affection, for as long as you deserve it.” 

“I’ll offer you everything.” The words came out breathy, your body twitching as he withdrew himself from you only to fill you up once more, rewarding you with long deep strokes that held far more affection than the frenzied fucking that you’d usually receive from him. 

You found your nails digging into the skin of his shoulders, drawing blood and marring his perfect form with each brutal thrust, simply trying to cling onto him. Your cries were loud, echoing within the marble just as they always had, but the nature this time was different, for your cries were ones of pleasure rather than desire for more. 

Sukuna’s breaths were heavy, rasping hard against your ear with each smooth movement of his hips. The passion had your eyes rolling back in your skull, babbling out his name pathetically, demonstrating your loyalty to him in your ecstatic reaction to his actions. 

This was all you’d ever wanted. 

An opportunity that had once seemed impossible. 

His fingers were bruising your thighs, pulling you closer with each stroke, and as your thighs tightened around his hips, one of his hands slipped down between the two of you, rubbing that sensitive nub that he’d never deigned to touch before, always too focussed on chasing his own gratification. 

Lights danced in your eyes at the contact, a desperate cry of his name ripping from your throat as you squeezed around him, cumming on his cock. It felt almost humiliating to find pleasure before him like that, something that he’d never been interested in witnessing in past visits. 

If you ever came with him inside of you before, it was an accident rather than intention. 

This time, he seemed to have driven you to it, nipping at your neck and circling your clit carefully, even after you’d gushed all over him. 

Of course, his hips still didn’t let up, fucking you fast and deep until he reached his own release, his arms wrapped tight around your smaller form, pulling you as close as humanely possible as he poured his own seed into you, finding satisfaction in the way that it dripped down your sweaty thighs and onto the altar below. 

Past experience led you to believe that he’d pull away immediately, dropping you down unceremoniously onto the ground, with little regard to the damage it might cause your fragile body. 

But this time he did no such thing. 

He lifted you carefully, cradling you within his muscular arms and sitting down upon the cool floor, keeping you warm within the confines of his lap. Your heart was speeding at one hundred miles a minute, your fingers pressing against his chest, clinging to him as if he’d disappear if you let go for even a moment. 

A hand was brushing your hair, another stroking your thigh, while two were wrapped firmly around your midsection. All four of his eyes were fixed on you too, no distractions in the manner you’d come to expect from him, his focus was on you alone. 

You were his, and at least to some extent, he was yours. 

“How sweet.” Satoru’s saccharine voice sounded from across the room. The god was leaning his face on his hand, blue eyes sparkling as he watched the exchange. Sukuna straightened up ever so slightly, fixing him with a glare. 

“Leave,” he commanded. 

“Aw, not even a thank you? You’re so ungrateful.” The white-haired god stood up, a pout fixed on his pink lips. 

“A thank you for doing your job? No one thanks me for starting wars, so why would I thank you for orchestrating a union? Love is nothing special.” 

“I could’ve sabotaged your love. Kept that pretty little thing all to myself.” He pointed in your direction, offering Sukuna a toothy grin. “In fact, if you cross me I still might. I can make people fall out of love too if I so wish, irritate me and I’ll put a curse on your favoured mortal.” 

Sukuna’s face was stormy, his grip tightening on you in a manner that felt almost protective. “Meddle in matters of my heart ever again and I’ll cut you to pieces and spread them across the corners of the globe. I’m sure no one would miss a few centuries without you.” 

“So prickly.” Satoru rolled his eyes. “I hope you’re kinder to her. How she could ever fall for you is beyond my reckoning.” 

Sukuna peered down at you, and through the centuries of malice lining his ancient, war-scarred face, you could see it - the soft twinkle in his eyes as he met your gaze. The sharp edges of a god of massacre, tempered only for you. 

He would keep his promise. 

His affection would not be altered by lines of age on your face. Despite all his shortcomings, he was loyal to his word, and he had offered you a piece of his heart no matter how shrivelled and blackened it may be. 

And you would cherish that gift for as long as you drew breath. 

a/n: NEED HIM BAD <3

anyway to any crazy in love readers I'm currently working on the next chapter and am planning to have it up in the next week or so

thanks for reading! reblogs and comments are appreciated as always <3

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© sukunahs

[bambismoon]

apocalypse - one undergroundboxer!kuna x reader [soulmate au]

warnings [mdni] - angst | implied trauma | mean sukuna

wc - 7.3k

series masterlist

∞

ryomen sukuna knew three things about his soulmate. 

she drank too much caffeine, she slept curled on her side whenever anxiety crawled beneath her skin and whenever she read for hours on end or colored, the noise in his head quieted enough to let him breathe. 

it was fucking irritating. 

the first time she got under his skin, it was in the middle of his first match. 

he’d nearly put his fist through the guy, rage sitting ugly beneath his ribs as blood pooled in his mouth and sweat dripped down his spine. 

then suddenly, he was overcome with serenity he’d never experienced before. 

a calmness that wasn’t his own, never his own. 

something soft slipped beneath his skin then, warm and quiet in a way he wasn’t used to. like somebody had pressed cold hands against the back of his neck after years of burning where he stood. 

he’d won that match. 

“again?” toji muttered from across the gym, cigarette balanced lazily between scarred fingers. 

sukuna rolled his jaw once before slamming another punch into the heavy bag hard enough for the chains overhead to rattle violently. 

“fuck off.” 

toji smirked, tongue peaking out to lick at the scar against his lip. 

the gym smelled like rust, sweat and the metallic ting of blood that both men were used to. it was a shitty set up buried beneath the city in the lower levels of an abandoned parking structure. it barely looked legal from the outside and the inside wasn't much better. 

the concrete floors, flickering lights and men all too violent to exist comfortably above ground. 

and it was the place ryomen sukuna felt alive. 

sukuna had been fighting since he was fifteen and filled with a rage even he couldn’t understand. 

toji found him bloody outside a convenience store after some older guys tried jumping him for gambling money. 

it was clear they didn’t get the money but sukuna took that fire in his gaze out on them. 

sukuna still recalled the way toji looked down at him, droplets cascading down his sharp features and dark hair, damp cigarette hanging from his mouth while blood dripped steadily from sukuna’s split brow. 

“you fight like an animal,” toji began, taking a drag of his fading cig before tilting his head at the salmon haired boy, “what if i told you that you could beat the shit out of guys every day and get paid for it?” 

a fucking dream is what that was. he gets to utilize his anger and he could finally get out of his father’s house. 

how could sukuna even say no? 

somehow, it turned into this. 

years later, ryomen sukuna had become the name whispered through underground rings across the city. not because he was the biggest or the strongest, but because he was cruel. 

there was something deeply unsettling about the way sukuna fought. 

controlled, almost lazy sometimes. like violence came so naturally to him that he didn’t even need to think about it. 

people feared men who fought emotionally. 

they feared ryomen sukuna more because he never did. 

most nights, he fought beneath screaming neon lights while crowds chanted his name loud enough to shake the walls. 

they bet on him like he was a sure thing and fuck, did he get a shitload of money from it. 

he’d leave each night, beaten and bruised with a duffel of cash hanging off his shoulder.

he was living the dream.

that was until he arrived home, in his apartment downtown, and sat in silence while somebody else’s emotions bled quietly into his chest. 

a girl he’d never met yet somehow knew like the back of his hand, all too intimately. 

he knew she liked coffee because of the bursts of energy he’d feel during mornings where he usually slept in because his fights usually carried into the night. 

he knew she did yoga often because his muscles weren’t as sore as they would get when he was younger and god knows it wasn’t his doing. he didn’t stretch nearly as much as toji nagged at him to. 

he also knew that she despised him. 

that one was obvious. 

their bond always sharpened after his fights. her irritation sat bright and hot beneath his ribs every time he came home bruised and bloody. 

sometimes he couldn’t differentiate between his own rage and hers. 

maybe they were more alike than he thought. 

truthfully, sukuna didn’t know how to do things any differently and frankly, he didn’t care enough to. 

he hated this whole soulmates shit. why would the universe ever pair two people together with the utmost certainty that they were perfect for each other?

and what fucking masacre did this girl commit to be bonded with him of all people? 

violence was the only thing sukuna had ever been good at and he wouldn’t change that for anyone, especially some girl who was almost a mere figment of his imagination. 

he did that sometimes. pretended that he was a non-existent and that he was merely hallucinating her. 

non-existents made up a very small part of the population and they were essentially humans who didn’t have soulmates. like toji was. 

lucky bastard. 

sometimes sukuna believed toji was lying because he’d get this distant look on his face some days, kind of like himself when he felt his own soulmate torment him. 

so maybe he was a late bloomer? 

either way, he was in a better situation than sukuna was. 

“your girl’s pissed again?” toji commented dryly from where he leaned against the boxing ring ropes, head tilted with a knowingness sukuna hated. 

toji was the one sukuna had to confide in because who else did he have? 

when he was overwhelmed as a young teenager about his soulmate, toji would be the one he would reluctantly go to. the older man had taken him under his wing, so yes, he did trust him more than anyone. 

he also knew that toji cared about him in his own fucked up way. 

sukuna’s knuckles ached tonight, phantom annoyance curling beneath his skin that didn’t belong to him. it was her. 

probably studying somewhere in the city while silently wishing death upon him. 

the thought almost made him grin. 

throughout the years, pissing her off became a hobby of some sort, though he knew she didn’t find it nearly as amusing as he did. 

“at least you know she’s got personality.” toji stated once more as sukuna finally stopped punching and turned to shoot the man a glare. 

“shut the fuck up.”

toji huffed out a laugh, “god help you both when you finally meet.”

the thought made sukuna freeze momentarily. 

it was almost sad. 

usually, at least from what sukuna knew, people usually couldn’t wait to meet their soulmates. 

then there was sukuna, filled with dread at the mere idea. 

sukuna hated even talking about the bond. 

he hated how aware he was of her. 

because despite everything, the distance and never seeing her to begin with, she felt woven into him already, like a haunting. 

some nights, when his insomnia clawed violently at his nerves after fights, he’d feel her wrap her arms around herself beneath warm blankets god knows where. 

and sleep came easier those nights. 

he couldn’t explain it and truthfully, he didn’t like to think about it. 

he hated talking about her because the truth was ugly. 

that he didn’t particularly hate her. which is exactly why he knew meeting her would ruin everything. 

naturally, his solution was to sabotage everything which is why he started to sleep around with non-existents whenever he got the chance. 

and he knew what it did to her. 

good. he hoped it made her despise him enough to never want anything to do with him, whether they meet now or twenty years down the line. 

sukuna didn’t want anything to do with her. 

∞

you hated downtown on friday nights. 

it was always too loud and all too crowded. 

neon signs bled into rain-slick streets while bass-heavy music spilled from every open doorway along the block. 

girls stumbled across sidewalks in tiny dresses and tall heels, drunken laughter cutting through the humid summer night air while taxis lined the streets endlessly. 

the city looked beautiful after dark, but you still wanted to be everywhere but here. 

“stop looking at people with that judgy look of yours.” shoko muttered beside you, nudging your shoulder lightly as the three of you crossed the street.

“i’m not judging, i’m just looking around…” you defended with a huff as you hugged yourself protectively, little kitten heels clicking against the pavement. 

“you are judging,” utahime confirmed, “it’s your classic disgusted and glare-ey look.” 

“well excuse me, you’re the ones who brought me to crackhead-ville.” you glared at the two girls as shoko rolled her eeys before hooking her arm through yours anyway. 

she pulled you towards the entrance of yet another overcrowded building downtown.

apparently, tonight’s party was being held somewhere above an abandoned old bar. or beneath it. 

either way, something you found entirely too ominous but you were too distracted when shoko was explaining to actually disagree. 

your soulmate had spent the entire evening restless beneath your skin. not angry but worse. 

aware. 

you felt him constantly tonight. 

a steady pulse of adrenaline humming through your bloodstream that didn’t belong to you. 

your chest had felt tight since leaving the penthouse, some strange tension settling low in your stomach like your body was anticipating something before your mind could catch up.

it was unsettling. 

you blamed the lack of sleep, or rather, you blamed him. you blamed him for it all. 

“ew, ew…” you muttered as shoko pulled you through the door into what you could only describe as chaos. 

warmth and noise hit you instantly. 

bodies crowded wall to wall beneath flashing lights while music shook violently through the floorboards. 

cigarette smoke lingered in the air despite the open windows somewhere deeper inside the space. 

you physically recoiled. 

“oh my god,” utahime muttered beside you, laughing softly at the expression painting your features, “you look horrified.” 

“i am horrified!” 

shoko snorted, “rich kids.” 

you threw her a glare before the three of you squeezed through the crowd until you reached a quieter section tucked near the back of the room. 

a curved leather couch sat half-empty beneath dim red lights, thankfully far enough from the speakers that your skull stopped vibrating the second you sat down. 

you exhaled deeply, chest deflating as you blinked up at your friends who were looking at you with amusement. 

“drinks?” utahime questioned as shoko nodded eagerly while you merely hummed, shoulders tense as you gazed around the sea of bodies. 

utahime disappeared toward the bar while shoko took a seat beside you, the leather beneath you sticky in a way that had you shuddering, sitting at the very edge of the couch. 

fuck, you hated this and you couldn’t explain why. 

yes, you hated parties in general but you just felt wrong. 

“you’re being weird tonight.” shoko observed, eyes narrowed on your tense figure. 

you frowned faintly, “i know…i feel weird.”

your skin felt like it was buzzing, chest vibrating in a way it usually wasn’t. 

it wasn’t necessarily bad, but simply off. 

you felt your soulmate more than ever tonight, you were almost hyperaware. 

he felt electric. 

every emotion coming from him felt sharper somehow, close enough that you could almost mistake them for your own. 

your pulse kept jumping for no reason. 

fuck, you hated this. 

“is it devils dick?” shoko casually asked as your eyes closed momentarily. 

how would you explain that it was both yes and no. 

yes, the bond felt different tonight. 

but no, it wasn’t muscle aches or phantom pain you were feeling on his end, though you didn't want to speak too soon. 

it was a friday after all. friday nights usually meant bruised ribs by saturday morning. 

“oh my god, guys!” hime stood before you, handing shoko her drink before placing a water bottle in your hand, “everyone’s saying gojo and his crew are gonna be here!” 

your eyes rolled gently, very much aware of utahime’s obsession with those random illegitimate fighters. 

underground fights happened constantly throughout the city. 

illegal betting rings buried beneath clubs and abandoned buildings, violent enough that respectable people pretended they didn’t exist despite everyone secretly knowing otherwise. 

your father even told you how known politicians and well known figures even placed bets they hid from the public.  

and lately, there was one name that everyone kept talking about-

“do you think sukuna would show up?” shoko questioned, eyes wide with excitement, taking a sip of her cherry vodka as you looked between the two girls. 

ryomen sukuna. 

you’d heard it constantly from utahime the past few months. 

uathime, shoko, sora and percy often went on double dates to these underground fights you had zero interest in. 

you were very much used to fifth wheeling alongside your friends, that wasn’t the issue. the issue was rooted in the prospect of spending the night in a filthy underground boxing ring riddled with people and violence alike. yuck. 

still, amongst all the fighters utahime gushed about, ryomen sukuna seemed to be the most known. 

the undefeated underground fighter with pink hair and a snake tattoo across his shoulders and collarbones. 

people were terrified of him just as equally as they were obsessed with him. 

“percy says sukuna knocked his opponent unconscious in under thirty seconds last week!” shoko stated, taking another sip as utahime nodded frantically. 

“he’s insane!” utahime gushed, “like, gojo is obviously a show off and just cares about the clout he gets but sukuna? he’s terrifying…”

utahime continued, you were sure. you could see her mouth moving but you didn’t-couldn’t register the words she'd uttered. 

the world around you turned hazy, just enough to feel like everything slowed in a way that definitely wasn’t normal. 

your heartbeat stopped, not metaphorically, but physically. 

a sharp wave of adrenaline crashed violently into your chest hard enough to steal the breath straight from your lungs. 

you went still, every muscle in your body tightening instinctively. 

you could see both of the girls leaning towards you, brows furrowed in concern, mouths moving and uttering words you knew were dipped in concern. you couldn’t hear any of it. 

you swallowed hard, eyes darting up and around you, as if a siren was luring you towards the crowd, come to me, come, come. 

fuck, were you drugged or something?

your heartbeat stuttered painfully beneath your ribs, once, twice then again. 

you felt like you’d been dropped underwater while everyone else remained above the surface. 

the bond felt raw and entirely too overwhelming.

it felt like standing at the edge of something life-altering, like your soul had recognized something before your mind could catch up to it. 

for the first time since you’d first felt your soulmate, he didn’t feel far away. 

you had grown used to the idea of him, something intangible and not truly real. 

merely a ghost haunting the edges of your nervous system, phantom bruises in the middle of lectures and an adrenaline rush at three in the morning. 

he was the deep-seated exhaustion that riddled your body but didn’t belong to you. 

but this felt real. close enough to touch. 

the sensation crawled slowly beneath your skin, winding around your ribs like invisible string being pulled tighter and tighter and tighter until you thought you might choke on it. 

the realization hit your bloodstream like a drug. 

he was here, you knew it. you could feel it in your bones. 

your eyes darted towards the door that had swung open, summer air rushing inside alongside four figures dressed almost entirely in black. 

the first thing you noticed was height. 

they all carried themselves with the same dangerous sort of confidence, the kind that came from men who had never truly feared consequences before. 

one of them had snowy white locks, the tallest of the bunch, bright enough to catch beneath the flashing lights, sunglasses balanced lazily across his nose despite the fact that it was nearly midnight. 

another stood beside him, quieter with shoulder length black locks with stretched gauges in his ears and sharp eyes that swept across the room once before settling into bored indifference.

the third one was shorter than the rest but still tall, black locks in two spiked buns with a joint resting between plump pink lips, eyes hooded in a way that exposed that joint not being his first of the night.

they were all attractive in a way that felt almost unfair and dangerous. 

people moved out of their path without being asked. 

your eyes turned to the one trailing just a step behind them and your breath caught so violently, it hurt. 

the salmon colored locks gave him away. 

ryomen sukuna. 

tattoos curled dark against tan skin disappearing beneath the collar of a black shirt that stretched across broad shoulders. 

even from where you stood, you could see the dried blood and bruises across his knuckles. 

he looked nothing like what you’d imagined from shoko’s descriptions. 

and simultaneously, exactly like it too. 

something deep inside you snapped taut, your stomach dropping. 

you could tell he was dazed too, jaw locked and eyes blinking at a slow pace, eyes looking around the sea of bodies. 

the soulmate bond surged so hard beneath your ribs, you physically recoiled, fingers gripping the edge of the leather couch. 

oh god. no, no, no.

oh my god…

“oh my god,” utahime whispered beside you, though unlike you, she sounded impressed rather than horrified. 

shoko looked moments away from passing out entirely. 

“that’s him!” she breathed out quietly. 

you couldn’t answer, breath stilling and hands trembling. 

because sukuna had stopped walking.

fuck, the realization came slowly enough to feel cruel. 

maroon eyes met your own and the room around you dissolved entirely. the music became muffled noise, lights blurring and the crowd disappeared.

all you could see was him. him. him. him. 

he was all you could see, feel and you knew all he could see was you. 

sukuna felt it the second he stepped through the doorway. 

you. 

the bond snapped violently alive beneath his skin hard enough that his entire body locked for half a second mid-step. 

he almost thought someone had drugged him until he remembered he hadn’t even drank anything yet. 

then what was this feeling? 

his eyes locked on yours and he felt the most alive he’d felt in his life.

something even the ring and the violence couldn't offer. 

there you were, all too pretty and wide eyed. 

he barely heard gojo speak beside him anymore, the lanky man rambling on about some idiot from last week’s fight who apparently called him out on twitter after. 

sukuna ignored him completely because across the room sat a girl staring at him like she’d seen a ghost. 

and in some ways, he was your ghost. 

he haunted you and lived under your skin in ways he was sure you didn’t appreciate in the slightest. 

his soulmate. 

years of phantom feelings crashed together all at once so violently, it almost made him sick. 

because the realization hit him harder than he’d anticipated and yes, he had anticipated this. 

the moment he’d meet his soulmate. 

well, he dreaded more than anticipated it. 

it hit him hard because he realized that he knew this girl. 

sukuna had never met you, yet, he bet he knew you more than the two girls hovering over you. more than fucking anyone. 

you were the girl whose stress bled into his bones during finals week, the girl who wrapped her arms around herself at night and somehow lulled him to sleep from miles away. 

you were real. 

and you looked soft. 

that was the first thing he took note of. 

soft skin, soft wide eyes, soft pink shimmery gloss coating your plush lips he recognized only through phantom warmth he’d felt against his own skin before. 

his soulmate was a pretty little thing, so pretty it almost made his chest ache. in your tiny skirt and halter top.

far too fucking pretty to belong anywhere near him. 

“sukuna?” 

choso’s voice cut through the haze faintly and sukuna snapped out of it, gaze finally leaving hers to glance at his friend who tilted his head towards the other side of the room. 

sukuna resisted the urge to glance at you as he made his way across the room.

fuck, fuck, fuck! 

this couldn’t be happening, this was a fucking nightmare. 

just as he made it across the room, he felt it. 

warm fingertips brushing his own skin despite his hands at his sides. 

his pulse stuttered once. 

his gaze snapped to yours once more and your eyes widened instantly when you noticed his hand drift to his neck where your own hand was resting. 

slowly and carefully, sukuna lifted his own hand. 

his fingers brushed lightly against the side of his jaw, a barely there touch. 

yet, across the room, your breath hitched sharply as warmth bloomed against your own jawline seconds later. 

not imagined or coincidence. it was all real, so so real. 

your stomach twisted violently. 

oh no. no no no no. 

shoko was gazing at you, “what’s wrong?!” 

you couldn’t answer, eyes stuck on a pair of crimson that held you hostage.

her eyes narrowed as both her and utahime followed your gaze before catching sukuna’s eyes on you. 

then they both looked between you both a total of five times before realization hit. 

“wait,” shoko whispered harshly, hand shooting out to grip your arm, “WAIT.”

utahime’s jaw physically fell open, “holy shit…”

your heartbeat pounded so violently, you thought you might faint right then and there beneath the flashing red lights.

what you despised most is that it made sense. 

of course it was him. a violent and dangerous underground fighter, fuck, that explained everything so perfectly.

if fate was a person, you’d have her by the neck right now. 

because sukuna was still staring at you, as if he knew you already and perhaps, he did. 

then horrifyingly, he smirked. 

and suddenly, you understood exactly why the entire city feared ryomen sukuna. 

sukuna moved before he could really think about it, jaw clenched but determined.

one second he stood on the other side of the room and the next, his body was already weaving through the crowd toward you like the bond itself had wrapped invisible fingers around his spine and dragged him to you. you. his soulmate. 

people moved instantly to let him pass. 

you took note of that immediately. 

you noticed the way conversations died around him, the way bodies shifted out of his path and nobody dared touch him, even accidentally. 

it was fear, you realized. people feared him. 

the recognition made your stomach twist. 

“oh my god,” shoko whispered harshly beside you, nails digging into your arm, “he’s coming over here!” 

“i can see that.” you hissed back faintly, though your voice barely sounded like your own. 

fuck, you should leave. you should absolutely leave. 

except, you couldn’t move, body drilled to where you sat, frozen in place while ryomen fucking sukuna rossed the room toward you like some predator chasing prey. 

closer and closer and closer. 

until suddenly, all his 6’4 glory was towering above you. 

your breath caught embarrassingly hard. 

up close, he was worse. 

taller than you’d imagined and broader too. 

there were faint bruises scattered along his jawline beneath the dim lights, on the very spot that you woke up feeling sore. fresh cuts healed across his knuckles. 

and his eyes, god, they looked at you with the same recognition burning through your own chest. 

sukuna looked down at you for a moment too long. 

fuck, you were even more ethereal up close. 

that thought hit him first and annoyingly hardest. 

his pretty little soulmate sitting curled into the edge of a leather couch looking at him with wide doe eyes, almost expectantly with a mix of fear and restraint. 

“hey.” 

his voice slid down your spine like smoke. 

low, dangerous and rough in a way even your mind couldn’t conjure up.

fuck, was this really happening?

your throat tightened instantly, “hi.”

the word left you horrifyingly softer than you’d intended and sukuna’s lips twitched at the sound. 

your voice was his favorite sound, instantly. 

“um,” shoko hummed, eyes wide as she shared a glance with utahime, “we’ll give you two a second.”

you almost wanted to yell in protest, but the two girls were already shuffling away, shooting you encouraging looks. 

as you glanced up at the dangerous man once more, you felt your heart still in a way you hadn’t ever felt before. 

not in fear or apprehension but calm. 

he made you feel calm, your body stilling and quieting in a way you hadn’t expected. 

regretfully, fuck, you despised it, but when that gentleness overcame you and you looked up at him…

his disheveled pink locks, his handsome rugged features and his dark eyes, all of it was him. 

and you felt stupid for trying to deny that this man was your soulmate. 

who else would it be? 

“i’m sukuna,” he stated lowly, moving to take a seat beside you, leaving an appreciative distance between you, “ryomen sukuna.” 

your name left you softly with a nod. 

as you gazed at each other, the same realization overcame you both. 

even with barely an introduction, you knew each other. 

while sukuna had only fond memories of what you’d done for him, your mind was riddled with poisonous ones. 

this was the man who often trained in the middle of the night, filling you with soreness and a rush of adrenaline that left you sleepless most nights. 

he was the one who fucked other girls knowing what that put you through. 

your heart clenched. 

beyond all those things, he was the one who hugged himself to sleep after that one night of utter hell. 

he was the one who held a hot water bottle to his stomach when your cramps left you nauseated and pained in bed. 

as much as you wanted to forget those things, to snap yourself out of the sad patheticness that riddled you, how could you?

how could you when those were the only memories that kept your hope that he wasn’t a total monster alive?

your eyes travelled along his bloodied knuckles, “you get those a lot.” 

sukuna’s fists instinctively clenched at the attention.

“and you burn yourself with whatever you do your hair with at least twice a week.”

your eyes widened instantly. 

“and you get punched like every other day!” 

sukuna’s mouth twitched and you hated how your eyes drifted towards the movement and your heart stuttered. 

“barely.” sukuna stated cooly, a small smirk painting his features. 

your eyes drifted toward him again before you could stop yourself. 

and then you remembered. 

every phantom feeling, every sleepless night and every ache.

all attached to him. 

the violence, the pain, the girls. 

your jaw tightened, "you’re not exactly the best person to be connected to, you know.” 

sukuna’s expression didn’t shift much, still cool, but you felt it. 

the hollow drop in your stomach that wasn’t yours. guilt. 

real and immediate, it almost made you laugh in disbelief. 

of course he felt guilty, he had to know he was a fucking nightmare. 

sukuna leaned back slightly, jaw working once as his gaze flickered away from yours for half a second, “yeah, i bet.” 

your brows lifted, “that’s it?” 

his eyes returned to yours, low and indifferent. 

you scoffed, anger bubbling up so quickly, it nearly startled you, “that’s all you have to say?” 

sukuna let out a breath through his nose, “what do you want me to say?”

“oh, i don’t know,” you let out a sharp little laugh that held not an ounce of humor, “maybe sorry would be a good place to start?!” 

sukuna’s head tilted, “sorry.” 

you stared at him in utter disbelief before a laugh left you once more, this time softer and dripped in something worse than anger, “wow…” 

sukuna’s eyes borrowed, “what?” 

“you’re unbelievable is what!” 

“you asked for sorry.” 

“not like that!” you nsapped, voice rising just enough to have your cheeks flushing, “not like you’re apologizing for stepping on my shoe!”

his expression hardened slightly and you felt it immediately, the irritation beginning to curl beneath his skin. 

ugh, you hated how the closeness made both your emotions so heightened. 

though, you hoped he could feel your rage. 

"an apology isn't gonna change shit. won't make y'feel better either."

his words enraged you even more.

“you have no idea what you put me through,” you continued, voice trembling despite you rbest efforts, “none.” 

sukuna’s gaze darkened, “don’t do that.”

“do what?” 

“act like i wasn’t there too.” 

you blinked at him, something hot and ugly twisting in your chest. 

was he for real? 

“you were there?” you repeated quietly, “you were there?” 

his jaw clenched, “don’t-”

“no, please,” you leaned forward slightly, anger sharpening every word, “explain it to me. because to my knowledge, you were the one making my life miserable while i was the one trying to keep us both sane!”

sukuna looked at you for a long moment, jaw clenching and unclenching. 

the lights washed over his face in flashes of red, making him look even more unreal than he already did. 

“you think i wanted this?” he stated more than asked and your heart clenched. 

hurt shot through you, your eyes growing glassy against your will because you knew he wasn’t referring to the pain he’d put you through. 

he meant the soulmate thing in general, fate as a whole. 

he didn’t want you.

you bit the inside of your cheek, willing your tears to stay in your eyes before breathing out, “no. but neither did i.” 

silence settled between you then, not peaceful but loaded. 

sukuna could physically feel your hurt and his eyes dropped briefly to your hands where they trembled in your lap. 

your fingers curled instantly, too proud as you hid the movement. 

it was too late. he’d seen it. 

even worse, he’d felt it.

“i didn’t know.” he stated lowly and you froze. 

your eyes flickered up, “what?” 

his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, expression unreadable. 

“at first,” he clarified, “i didn’t know what it did to you.” 

your chest tightening, knowing what he was referring to and his words didn’t soothe you in the slightest. 

“and after?” 

in fact, it made it all worse. 

especially as he said nothing. 

your face fell slightly, all the anger in you cooling into something quieter and melancholic. 

“after, you knew.” 

his gaze remained on you as his fingers flexed once against his thigh, “yeah, i knew.” 

your eyes burned and you hated yourself for it. 

you hated that it still hurt despite knowing already, you hated that hearing him say it aloud made it real in a way the bond never had. 

“why?” you asked, the one word absolutely humiliating as much as it was devastating. 

sukuna looked away first and somehow, that hurt too, “because it was easier.” 

your lips parted faintly, “easier?” 

he lout out a grunt, “if you hated me, you wouldn’t look for me.” 

the words settled between you like something deadly. 

for a second, you genuinely couldn’t speak. 

then you did, “that is the stupidest, shittiest thing i’ve ever heard.” 

hsi eyes snapped back to yours, scowling, “careful.” 

“oh, fuck you!” you hissed lowly, “you don’t get to do that! you don’t get to hurt me on purpose and then act like it was some noble sacrifice.” 

his jaw tightened, “it wasn’t noble.” 

“yeah, no shit.” 

“it was necessary.” 

you laughed once, incredulous, “necessary? well, congrats, you got what you wanted, i absolutely fucking despise you.” 

sukuna’s jaw clenched, eyes glaring at you, “good. because you don’t know shit about me, this saves us both the hassle.”

“i don’t know you?” you shot back, “i know you more than anyone, probably. i know your body hurts more often than they don’t. i know you clench your jaw when you’re mad. i know you can’t sleep because of your nightmares and unless somebody practcially forces your nervous system to shut down, you could go days without it. i know you’re so angry at the fucking world, it makes you so hateful.”

sukuna went still, too still. 

you swallowed hard, eyes burning once more, “and i know that for years, i was the one cleaning up the damage you left behind.” 

his eyes darkened, “cleaning up?” 

“yes,” your voice cracked despite yourself, “me. i was the one hugging myself to sleep because you wouldn’t. i was the one stretching every morning because your body always felt like fucking concrete. i was the one coloring like a goddamn toddler at three in the morning because it was the only thing that made your anger stop choking me!” 

sukuna said nothing and you hated that even more. 

you wanted him to argue back, to answer, to fucking care. 

“do you know how pathetic that feels?” you whispered, “taking care of someone who kept hurting me?” 

his expression shifted, barely, but you felt it again. 

the guilt, even deeper this time. 

sukuna looked at you like he wanted to say something cruel and couldn’t quite manage it, settling with, “you didn’t have to do all that.” 

your laugh came out watery, tears now trickling down your heated cheeks. 

fuck, you felt nauseous, you felt so fucking sick. 

“yeah, i know that now.” 

something passed across his face then, a flicker of pain so quick, you almost missed it. 

but the bond didn’t allow you to miss anything. you felt it bloom in your own chest, sharp and unwanted. his. 

for one terrible second, you almost let it soften you. 

almost. 

because there it was again. 

that tiny, stupid sliver of hope you’d spend years nurturing because it was the only thing that kept you mildly sane. 

the one that whispered that maybe he wasn't all cruelty. maybe there was something beneath all that violence and pain. 

maybe the boy who held a hot water bottle to his stomach when your cramps got bad had to exist somewhere inside the man sitting in front of you. 

you looked at him then, through your blurry vision, really and truly looked. 

the hard line of his jaw, the coldness in his eyes and the casual arrogance sitting across his shoulders like armor. 

and that hope crumbled quietly inside your chest. 

not dramatically or all at once, but piece by piece, like something old finally accepting it had been dead for a long time. 

utter disappointment filled you then. you should have known better. 

this shouldn't be surprising. 

sukuna had spent years telling you exactly who he was, painting you the worst image of himself and you had hoped it was just that. 

the worst of himself. 

except the worst was all of him. 

sukuna was cruel. not because he didn’t know better but because he did. 

because he’d known what hurt you and decided hurting you was easier than wanting you. 

you swallowed around the ache in your throat, suddenly exhausted in a way a thousand years of sleep couldn’t fix. 

all you wanted was to be home now, cuddled up with ani in your room alone. 

“right,” you whispered, nodding once to yourself. 

sukuna’s brows pulled together slightly, “right what?” 

you pushed yourself to your feet, smoothing trembling hands over the front of your skirt because you needed something to do. anything that didn’t involve looking at him. 

“this was enlightening.” 

his eyes narrowed, “sit down.” 

the command sparked something sharp beneath your ribs, the thorn twisting in your heart. 

you let out a hollow laugh, “fuck you.” 

his jaw flexed, “don’t make a scene.” 

your name left him then and you hated the way your stomach fluttered at the melody of it in his voice. 

fuck, your heart hurt. 

because he was your soulmate. yours.

because some sick, twisted part of you had expected the universe to redeem itself when you finally found him. 

you expected the first moment to feel like every story you’d grown up hearing, witnessed amongst your friends. 

warmth, recognition and relief. 

instead, you were standing in front of the man who had turned your body into a battlefield and your heart into collateral damage. 

“i hope i never see you again.” 

something flickered across his face then and you didn’t stay long enough to decipher it. 

you turned around, the crowd swallowing you almost immediately as you walked away. 

music slammed back into your skull, bodies pressing close as you pushed through them with shaking hands and blurred vision. 

your chest felt too tight, lungs too small for the oxygen your body ached for. 

behind you, you felt sukuna rise before you saw it. the immediate pull.

his presence growing closer and your heart stuttered stupidly. 

some miserable, pathetic part of you sparked alive at the thought before you could kill it. 

maybe he did care. 

maybe he was going to take back all the words he regretted, that he would stop you and apologize properly this time. 

he would say what you’ve been waiting years to feel. 

the thought was so humiliating, it almost made you sick. 

“fuck are you lookin’ at?!” 

you heard his voice aimed at the crowd of people that were watching you both, probably since your conversation on the couch. 

you shoved through the door and stepped into the narrow hallway outside the main room, the music muffling instantly behind you. 

the air was cooler here, damp with rain and cigarette smoke, blue neon bleeding through the cracked windows at the end of the corridor.

you took in a breath like you hadn’t breathed in days, eyes shutting as your heart hammered against your chest, trying to simply process everything that had taken place. 

“hey.” his voice followed you out and you froze, heart stilling. 

stupid, traitorous thing. 

you turned slowly, eyes fluttering open. 

sukuna stood a few feet away, tall and shadowed beneath the hallway light. 

away from the party, he seemed even more dangerous. less like a person and more like a warning your body had spent seven years failing to understand. 

he was an enigma. 

for one breath, neither of you spoke. 

your hope stood there too, fragile and shaking, fucking pitiful. 

waiting. 

sukuna’s gaze dragged over your face once, catching on the wetness beneath your eyes and his expression tightened faintly. 

say it, you thought bitterly. 

say sorry! say you didn’t mean it! 

say something!

his jaw worked once, “no one can know.” 

your brows furrowed, the hope dying cleanly. 

“excuse me?” 

sukuna stepped closer, voice lower now. 

his mouth opened to clarify when his gaze met your own once more. 

your wide glassy eyes. your pretty face that was streaked with tears, your plump bitten lips. 

the little sniffles that left you, making his ribs ache. 

and suddenly, he froze, the words stuck in his throat. 

fuck, he had to get it together. 

“about this.” 

your lips parted faintly, “about us?”

the word us felt absolutely pathetic in your mouth. 

all too soft and hopeful. undeserved, even. 

something in his eyes shifted at the sound of it but it was gone before you could hold onto it. 

“there is no us.” 

oh. you actually felt that one. 

not through the bond, nor as some phantom ache borrowed from him. 

the pain was yours, all yours. 

you laughed once, quiet and disbelieving as you took a small step back, “wow…”

sukuna followed you, taking one step forward as his jaw clenched, “listen to me-” 

“no,” you shook your head slowly, voice trembling, “no, i think i understand perfectly.” 

sukuna’s eyes darkened, “you really don’t.” 

“oh my god,” you shook your head, “i can’t believe i thought-” 

you stopped, humiliation burning up your throat. 

sukuna stared, taking a step closer, his chest now brushing your chin, “thought what?” 

his voice was almost desperate and you swallowed, blinking hard, “nothing.” 

his face tightened and he felt it anyway, of course he did. 

the hope and hurt. 

the fact that some tiny, unbearable part of you had wanted him to come after you because he simply couldn’t let you leave. 

sukuna looked away first as you took a step back. fucking coward. 

“it’s dangerous.” he stated as you stared at the side of his face.

“dangerous?” 

“yes.” 

“for who?” 

his gaze cut back to yours, “for you.” 

you almost laugh but he continued before you could. 

“people know me and if they know about you, they’ll use you. you make me weak.” 

the words landed colder than you'd expected. 

sukuna watched you closely, as if waiting for the fear to register and maybe it did. 

somewhere deep, deep down, but anger got there first. 

“so that’s what this is?” you whispered, tears leaving you without you noticing, “damage control?” 

his silence was answer enough and you nodded faintly, tears burning hot once more. 

“right.” 

“you need to keep your mouth shut about it.” 

you flinched before you could stop yourself and sukuna paused, regret flashing through instantly. 

“don’t talk to me like that.” you stated lowly and his jaw clenched. 

“i’m trying to keep you safe.” 

“oh, how big of you.” 

the hallway seemed to shrink around you both. 

outside, rain tapped gently against the glass. 

inside, bass thudded like a second heartbeat through the walls. 

you looked at him then, this man that fate had tied to you with an invisible string and cruelty dressed up as destiny. and for the first time since you’d felt him at sixteen, you stopped wondering what it would be like to find him. 

because now you knew and god, you wish you didn’t. 

it felt like losing something you’d never even had. 

“is that all?” you questioned lowly, clearing your throat once.

sukuna stared at you, nose flaring and throat bobbing once, “yeah.” 

another piece of you gave out as you nodded, “okay.” 

the word was so calm, it made his eyes sharpen. 

you turned away, walking past him but his hand caught your wirst before you could take  full step. 

skin met skin and the bond went silent, completely and utterly silent. 

no buzzing or aching or distance. 

just him, all warm and real. terribly real. 

your breath hitched at his touch. it was the first time he’d ever touched you. 

sukuna froze too, fingers wrapped around your wrist like he’d touched fire and couldn’t make himself pull away. 

for one second, just one, all the cruelty fell quiet. 

and you felt him beneath it, scared and lonely, wanting and waiting. 

you felt it and you hated him for letting you feel it now. 

slowly, you looked down at his hand then back up at him, “let go.” 

his grip tightened by a fraction, “this is the best thing for the both of us.” 

your face crumpled before you could stop it. 

you pulled your wrist free and this time, he let you. 

“oh, trust me, not having to be stuck with you? i couldn’t agree more.” venom laced your words as sukuna’s expression changed, tightened and you felt the hurt then. 

sharp and immediate and you were glad for it. 

you turned and walked away then, tears streaming down your cheeks and a sob left you as soon as you were out of his vicinity. 

for the first time, the bond didn't feel like a thread pulling you closer…

it felt like noose.

∞

an | was so late with this but had the worst past few days so SORRY! anyways PLSSS lmk what u think cuz i'm iffy abt the direction of this BUT this is lowk my fav thing i've written omg! this is kinda like a prologue pt2, next chapters will deffo be longer! i cannot wait to write more of these two and sukuna's a dick but bear w him ! also each chapter in the masterlist will be titled a song and i recommend listening to it while reading for the vibes 🫡

also lowk need toji BAD i wanna give him some lore so lmk if u want a one-shot of him in this au!

[fireladylisa]

A Pledge To Keep, ch. 1

summary: getting knocked up by your older brother’s fratbro wasn't exactly apart of your five year plan. least of all with notorious fuck boy ryomen sukuna.

pairing: frat!kuna x reader

content: everything in this series is considered 18+ so not minor friendly! contains mature content such as rough sex, breeding, spanking, spit play, lactation kink, descriptive child birth, postpartum depression, probably more

wc: 3.2k (next chapters will be much longer. I just wanted to set up the dynamic!)

dividers by: @petalpxl | series masterlist | art by lorinmower

Ryomen Sukuna doesn't do relationships. He fucks who he wants and then acts as if he never knew the person. That was one of his two rules: always wear a condom and never fuck the same girl twice.

Until he met you. Nanami's adopted sister who came into his life and upended every standard he lived by.

It started the last week of his junior year of uni, his deep gutted interest in his frat brother's younger sister who was tossing back shots at their end of year party. You were just some random girl who caught his eye, hot as fuck in that tight short dress your boobs kept spilling out of. 

You danced with random men that Sukuna had the sudden urge to punch, their slimy hands running along your thighs before lightly squeezing your ass. You look unfazed though slightly amused, relishing in the attention you were getting from those cuck losers.

"Who is that?" Sukuna all but growled at Gojo, snatching the drunk frat president by his collar and nodding his head toward you. After yelling what the fuck dude!, he followed Sukuna's line of sight and smirked knowingly. You were throwing your head back with a laugh, moving your hips in circular motions as some guy pulled you closer. 

"Nanami's sister and she's off limits unless you have a death wish. Hot as fuck though right?" Since when did Nanami have a sister? Gojo chuckled at his friend's glare before he was being whisked away by the girl that was holding his hand, alcohol spilling from his red solo cup.

Sukuna could just go up to you, snatch you away from the man who looked like he couldn't possibly handle everything you were throwing his way and fuck you until the sun rose. Did he really want to involve himself with his friend's sister though? You were hot, sure, but it was nearly his last year of college and he'd rather not ruin that by losing a friend he basically considered his brother. 

He had a terrible reputation of one night stands and ghosting. Gojo was drunk but he was right: Nanami would kill Sukuna if he treated you like a common whore. So he wouldn't. He'd woo you, tell you what you wanted to hear, make you feel like no other woman existed. He might even fuck you two times, which is more than he'd ever give any other woman.

Mind made up, Sukuna tosses back the rest of his drink before throwing it at the head of a random pledge and starts moving toward you. Only before he can actually reach you, some guy walked up to you and pulled you away. 

Fuck. Sukuna can feel his anger flaring, always too quick to ‘crash out’ as Gojo puts it. But the night was still young so he would just have to try again later. 

Later came at almost two in the morning and didn't pan out quite like he imagined. The party was dying down, men and women alike were passed out in the lawn with their faces covered in sharpie drawings, red cups were everywhere and Sukuna’s head felt like it was splitting in half. Needless to say, he was in a shit mood.

Even Satoru “never take life too serious” Gojo, looked like his patience had ran out as he kicked at people on the ground, yelling at them to ‘get the fuck up and get the fuck out’. Sukuna however, was past words, simply glaring at people with his hat backwards and arms crossed at his chest until they got the hint and scattered away. 

He was pulling a new pledge up and away from the woman he was attempting to fuck on the living room couch and shoving him by his neck toward the back door. The sophomore understood immediately, grabbing a garbage bag and picking up cups and empty beer cans, mumbling about how he wasn’t a fucking new recruit but not too loud unless Sukuna heard him. 

Sukuna only remembered he was supposed to be finding you when he bumped into a pissy drunk Nanami, knocked out by the pool with his legs hanging in the water and vomit next to his head. The blonde was hardly a drinker, so whenever he decided to indulge a bit, it was like keeping a toddler from offing themselves. Sukuna thought to just leave him there, maybe teach him a lesson about drinking more than he could handle.

 But you would more than likely hate him if your brother accidentally drowned on his watch, and then he wouldn't be able to sleep with you. So begrudgingly, he hooked his arms under Nanami’s and pulled him until he was far enough from the pool, dropping him in the grass. 

His patience was beyond worn thin once the house was cleared of non frat members and when he went back inside in hopes of finally laying down, he was fuming at the sight of some random bitch chugging water from his personal hydro flask, fridge wide open while they basically stood inside of it. 

“Oi! The fuck are you doing touching my shit?” He was seeing red, not even realizing the person he was talking to was you until he was roughly turning you by the shoulder. 

Your eyes were wide and apologetic, hands scrambling to put the top back on it while you mumbled apologies, water dripping down the side of your mouth. “Sorry! I didn't know-”

He glared and crossed his arms, attempting to swallow his rage when he realized this night could end on a good note..

 “Hmm, you just drink from random water bottles? Shit could be laced y’know. Be more careful.” He relished in how you squirmed under his intense gaze but never took your eyes off of his, even if it annoyed him that you clearly lacked survival instincts. He wanted to lick the frown off your mouth.

“Calm down dude, it’s just water! Who are you anyways?” You pushed his leaning body away, disgust twisting in your features. Sukuna was beyond amused though, caging you against the fridge as he put both hands on the side of your head and leaned over you. 

“Ryomen-”

“Sukuna?” You finished, eyes wide in surprise that you hadn't noticed him before. The uncommon pink hair, face tattoos, lip piercing, the looming height. 

Sukuna raised a brow, smug grin on his face. “In the flesh. I know you from somewhere, beautiful? Don’t think I'd forget a face like yours.”

You chuckled, the confidence he saw in you earlier finally crawling to the surface as you stood a little taller, lifting your head to look at him better. You put your hand against his lower stomach and attempted to push him away but Sukuna didn’t budge, though the attempt was cute.

“Hmm, is that why you spent half the night staring at me from across the room like you were working up the nerve to say something to me?” 

Sukuna actually laughed at that, throwing his head back before looking back at you with a small smile. He hadn't realized that you’d been watching him as closely as he was watching you and that made him want you even more.

“I don’t work up nerve for shit.” 

You bit back a smile, a small giggle escaping and Sukuna’s chest clenched. Your eyes were hooded, your dress rising just a little and he was only a man. “Sure.”

“And if I was looking?”

“Then your game sucks since you never actually came over.” 

A low laugh rumbled from his chest. The fucking he was going to give you would be biblical. He would make sure you found difficulty in walking, convince you to stay the night and then fuck you again when you woke.

“You got a habit of insulting strangers in their own homes?”

He shouldn't have been surprised when you responded immediately, your mouth almost as reckless as his. Sukuna thinks he’s met his match when your hand moves from his naval to his chest, manicured nails scratching lightly. 

“Only the ones that yell at me over water.”

He squinted his eyes, moving one hand to squeeze your waist and pull you closer. “My water.”

“Your water.”

Neither of you moved or said anything. Just stared at each other as if in a silent battle. Sukuna’s thumb rubbing circles on your waist while your fingers were sprawled against his chest, biting your lips from the motion and doing a terrible fucking job at hiding the moan that instantly had him leaking precum. 

“Maybe I should leave before you charge me for the water.” You whisper with a shaky breath as he starts lowering his head. He could see the goosebumps on your exposed shoulders, his entire body buzzing with pure lust. 

“Or.. you could stay and make it up to me.” His lips were inches away from yours, breathing in the same air as you as he pulled your body flush against his. The pounding in his head was simmering, replaced by the pounding of his heart and the electric sparks flying between you two. The gravitational force pulling him closer and closer..

His lips were just above yours, hand moving from your waist to your chin, titling your head back. His lips nearly brushing against yours. 

“Is that a pickup line?” 

He hummed, letting his lips lightly touch yours. “Nah, just an invitation.” 

“And if I said no?” You asked as you snaked your hand behind his head, lightly scratching his nape and Sukuna was gone, patience snapped. 

He crashed his lips against yours, groaning and grinding against your body as you returned the kiss, arms tightening around his neck. His tongue danced with yours and he grabbed your hips and lifted you in the air, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist. You both traded spit, his teeth biting into your lower lip and cock pushing desperately into your clothed cunt. 

“Upstairs.” You panted when a random person whistled, pulling back for air but Sukuna was ravenous and captured your lips again before letting you down and pulling you toward the stairs, ignoring the many people staring and the warning headshake Gojo gave him. 

When you made it to his room, he slammed the door shut with his foot and pulled you into his embrace again. Kissing and licking at your neck, sucking hard to leave a reminder of tonight. Pride and possessiveness were terrible things and the way you were moaning in his ear only served to strengthen those emotions. 

Sukuna was completely feral, squeezing your breasts and rubbing his thumb over your nipples as he walked you backwards. He only pulled back when the back of your legs hit the mattress, gripping your chin and pulling you impossibly closer. 

“You sure about this? I’m not gentle.” His left hand moved to your ass, sliding under the dress and cupping and squeezing. Sukuna was far from a touchy person but your body was singing to him, begging to be touched and who was he to deny that?

“Mhmm, I’m a big girl. I’m sure I can handle it.” You batted your eyes at him, fingers toying with the waistband of his pants and brushing against the happy trail that disappeared into his boxers. Sukuna felt his entire face heat up but before you could notice, he was ripping your dress over your head and pushing you back on the bed. 

He towered over you, hand palming his hard cock over his pants, watching you wither on the bed beneath him. Your eyes were bright, glassy and full of need as you started running your hands over your body. Sukuna had no plans on making you wait, pulling his pants down and laying his body between your legs, grinding his covered cock into you. His lips attacked your neck before traveling down to your boobs, biting on the soft skin and licking over the spots to soothe the sting. He was sure to give each breast equally attention, leaving individual marks that were sure to bruise.

“No need for foreplay, my panties are thoroughly soaked.” You cried out as his fingers made contact with your clothed pussy. He smirked when he noticed you were being truthful. What a needy little slut Nanami’s sister was. He had been set on woo’ing you, not wanting to make you feel used and here you were, as big of a freak as he was. 

“All for me?” He huffed out a laugh against your neck before sucking hard enough to leave another reminder of tonight, fingers pushing your panties to the side and sinking into you. You were so warm and wet, gummy walls contracting around his fingers as he pushed them deep and curled. 

You were moaning and crying his name, singing beautiful lyrics of “ngghh sukuna, need you inside of me.” and, “oh fuck, how are your fingers so long?” and his favorite, “I love the way you touch me.” It made his head swell with smugness, and the sounds you were making? Sukuna thought it might ruin him, the heavy breathing and crude words coming from such sweet lips.

“Gonna fuck you real good, ya hear me? Need you to cum on my fingers first, don’t be shy baby.” His fingers pumped faster. Sukuna pressed his forehead against yours, watching your every expression to make sure he was hitting the right spots. 

“Oh! Oh god yes, Sukuna- fuck that feels- uuhhh, so good.” Your hands were gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin and the pain had his dick growing impossibly harder. 

“Come on sweetheart. You want me to make your little pussy cum, yeah? Fuck you’re so tight, gripping my fucking fingers like a virgin.”

He started rubbing his thumb against your clit, moving in circles and grinding his dick into the bed. Your body tensed, head thrown back as you squirted on his fingers, juices spraying his shirt and Sukuna was so gone. 

He placed a few kisses on your mouth, calling you a good girl before sitting back on his legs and pulling your panties down, lifting your body to unclasp your bra and pushing you back down. He quickly stood to pull his boxers down, his cock springing free and hitting his stomach. Pre cum was leaking from the red tip and the way you were eyeing him with blown pupils and literal drool falling from the corners of your mouth, made him want to shove his dick down your throat but he had to feel you around his cock or he just might die. 

“Wow. That’s- I don’t think-” 

Sukuna laughed at the uncertainty in your voice, yanking your legs open and sliding his body over yours, his cock pushing at your entrance. “What? Where’s that confidence from earlier, hmm? Don’t act shy now. I'll take good care of you, baby.” 

“You’re such a di- OH!” You cried as he slammed forward, almost bottoming out in one thrust and making your back arch off the bed, breasts pushing against his chest and Sukuna was going crazy. 

You were so fucking tight, gripping his cock like you were afraid it would slip out and he was instantly addicted. You were so warm, so wet and he knew he would fuck you again. He would fuck you until he satiated this need that consumed him whole. 

“Fuck, you’re taking my cock so well. Such a good little cock drunk slut.” He groaned embarrassingly loud but he was too dizzy with euphoria to reflect on it, too drunk on your pussy himself to have any kind of rational thoughts. He lifted your legs on his shoulders and his cock sank deeper, hitting that soft wall and pounding like a sex starved man. 

The room was filled with the sounds of your mixed moans, skin slapping together and your wet pussy sloshing and squelching as Sukuna slammed into you without mercy. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue fighting with yours before he pulled back and spit into your parted lips as you moaned his name.

You didn’t miss a beat, swallowing his spit and moving your hips to fuck yourself against him. Sukuna thought he might be in love. “Harder! M’gonna cum again, please-”

You yelped as he flipped you, placing you on all fours before slamming back in. Only then did he realize he never put a fucking condom on but it was too late, he was already sliding back into you, head thrown back at the sensation of your raw pussy. He fucking hated condoms anyways.

“Yeah? Be careful what you ask for.” He gripped your hips with a brute force and started slamming into you with no warning. You yelled out and fell forward but he didn’t stop. He was pounding into you like you were nothing more than his own personal fleshlight, cock hitting all the right spots and stars were exploding behind your eyes. 

“Ooohh Ryo- haaa, gonna cum again. Don’t- ngghhh- don’t stop!” 

Sukuna couldn’t breathe, chest overwhelmingly tight with desire but he didn’t stop either. You felt too fucking good for that, so he ignored it and focused on the way his stomach was tightening everytime he dragged you back against his cock. His veins dragging against your squishy walls so good, he was reaching forward and pulling you up against his chest. 

“Get over here, pretty.” He pulled your face to his and smashed his lips against yours, one hand holding onto your hip to keep you upright while the other worked against your dripping pussy. Pinching and rubbing at your clit with a speed that had tears leaking from your eyes as you started clenching around him. 

Sukuna didn’t stop, moving his head to your neck and he fucked you faster, each thrust taking him deeper as his balls started tightening. 

“Are you on birth control?” He asked even though he had decided long ago that he was gonna stuff you full of his cum and deal with the consequences later. He had never been this irresponsible but this is the man you had reduced him to. 

“Yes! I’m so close, Ryo-” You were moaning like a pornstar and he almost came at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. A name he typically only allowed family to call him but he wasn’t about to correct you while he was balls deep inside of you. 

“Give it to me baby. Fuck I’m gonna fill you, yeah? You want that?” 

Sweat covered his body and pink strands stuck to his forehead, his red eyes blazing from the feeling of his impending orgasm.

He rubbed at your clit faster and bit down on your neck, a few seconds away from cumming when you squeezed his cock in beats, orgasm taking you under and pulling him with you. 

You were shaking and crying out his name and Sukuna was shooting a massive load into you, pushing deep to make sure not one drop escaped. The groan he gave was guttural, his balls pulsing as he pumped you full, white cum painting your walls so fucking good. 

“Fuck. That’s it, t-take my fucking cum like a good girl. Filling you so much baby-” 

Sukuna didn’t know what was happening to his body but before he could catch his breath, his hips were snapping into you as you both fell forward, his hands holding your hips as he grinded deep into you, shooting an even bigger load into you as you writhed beneath him and he groaned loud and long. 

He fucked you into the mattress as he rode out his second orgasm, mouth dropped open, hips twitching until he was left a panting mess above you. He pushed into you a few times, riding out his high and making certain his cum stayed where it belonged before kissing your shoulder and rolling onto the bed beside you. 

He was so blissed out he didn’t even question it as he pulled your body into his, hardly giving himself time to breathe before he was wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck. 

Sukuna had never slept as well as he did that night and to say he was disappointed to find you gone in the morning, would be an understatement.

He had no idea that he would be seeing a whole lot more of you in the very near future.

ch. 2

note: guys I promise the next chapters will be longer! but lemme know what you think, comments are always appreciated! <3

series tags: @httpswilloww @rhaewinsdaughter @kingjuliancypher @itoldyouimanalien @4ngelc0ded @natsolox @planetnico @junipersdiary @unlimited-impressions @radiantlyviolentskull @jae-n0 @cupidsblonde @nova-rush @choochoocho @Lunarcrystallize @ttyl0lxyx @cheacheasstuff @nanamistieonfridays @sukunash0e @bathingape00 @prettygalleria @hyeon3y @yorukana @raeyelora @tsnataly @dollyplayhouse @kidd3ath @catkuna @areyna @nyaaaaa3 @euphwriwjk-blog @ejk31 @milliemoo114 @underratedmage @xadenpoop @lovebuglissas @voidst4r @Emeraldpurple @shittypunkbarbeque @urmomswitch @maidofking123 @shazzer29 @princssjellyfishs @alebrasil0101 @hoppitysstuff @meanielotus @Thraxpatty @733164 @ambrosiarosesworld @kiikiigojo @prettygirllkk000 @addictedtotvshows1 @angel-ishere @animez96 @k1yomee @retiredpieceofshits @barcus-protection-squad @Itsmeeelol @Mintedmis @Icebearcucumber @sxlarhwa @shittypunkbarbecue @man1cslut {closed!}

sukuna tags: @rhaewinsdaughter @kingjuliancypher @itoldyouimanalien @4ngelc0ded @kvsqkiiii @nicosplanet

[starmapz]

for your entertainment ch1: untouched

౨ৎ experienced!sukuna x virgin f!reader [adult boutique au] - ongoing series

❝ chasing your dreams isn't all it's cracked up to be. your apartment shakes when the train passes and eating a scoop of peanut butter and calling it girl dinner is getting depressing. when you finally manage to land a job at a store that sells sex toys, it's possibly the biggest relief of your life. there's just one issue: you're a virgin. you don't know the first thing about toys and you don't want your cute and flirty white-haired co-worker to know. against your better judgement, you find yourself turning to your other co-worker for lessons and learn the hard way he's just as much of an asshole in bed as he is at work. ❞

౨ৎ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. fwb but you aren't friends. slow burn romance/fast burn smut. sukuna is 23ish, reader is 24/25ish. reader is sexually reserved but confident, nerdy, and a band geek. arrogant!sukuna. mild love triangle with gojo. dom!sukuna. mild corruption. size difference. sex toys & explorations of safety in kinks. smut & piv. virginity loss. see masterlist for full cw.

౨ৎ wc ; 9.4k.

౨ৎ art ; ackshuallyvalerie

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There comes a point where you have to wonder if you just aren’t meant to be applying for jobs. The amount of rejection emails and calls you’ve gotten is staggering, and that doesn’t even begin to touch on the amount of applications that simply haven’t gotten a reply.

‘We regret to inform you’ feels like a personal attack at this point.

Sitting outside this particular store, however, has you questioning if maybe you just aren’t cut out for work at all.

It’s not like you expected a paying gig right out the gate when you moved to the big city to chase your dream of becoming a musician, but you at least figured you would be able to get something that pays in the meantime.

At this point, every rejection is a shot straight to the heart.

You applied to every store you could find with a hiring ad. Both online and in-person, skipping over the occasional store that you felt you weren’t cut out for. Now, it’s come to the point where you don’t have the luxury to be picky.

Still, the shoe store that wouldn’t hire you? At least you have shoes, even if they’re worn-in Vans and Converse for the most part.

The reception job at the law firm? It’s not like you have a degree or can cite any, but you know general laws.

This? You sigh as your gaze traces the letters across the failing light box, deep red letters spelling out Adult Boutique.

It’s not that you have anything against it.

It’s that you’ve never used a sex toy.

Hell, you don’t know the first thing about them.

You’ve never even had sex before.

Sighing, you throw your head back against the headrest of your old rusting sedan and take a moment to breathe in the harsh disappointment of chasing your dreams. Your hands settle in your lap as you set aside any reservations you have, snatching your resumé from the passenger’s seat and shutting the door behind you. You walk with as much confidence as you can muster into the shop, but it’s almost humiliating how far out of your wheelhouse you are when you’re met with the interior. For as confident as you are, it drains from you in an instant.

Humiliation is a kink though, right?

“ID?” You pause in the doorway before you can get much of a look at the store, staring at a man with piercing blue eyes and white hair. He’s handsome, maybe a year younger than you, and his friendly smile is horribly infectious.

You stand like a deer in the headlights, your lips caught in an embarrassing ‘o’ before your mind catches up. ID. You’re in an age-restricted store. Right.

“Shoot–” Your hands fly down to your pockets, reaching for the wallet…

… That you left in the car.

Your jaw hangs ajar at the realization, warmth climbing from the back of your neck to the tips of your ears as the handsome clerk’s startlingly blue eyes pin you in place.

You shut your eyes, biting down on your lower lip. “I’ll be right back.”

In the midst of your walk of shame back to your car across the street, every thought reminds you that you could just leave. You could forget this ever happened and simply accept you aren’t getting the job. The fact that your wallet is so empty that you left it in your unlocked car in a shady part of town serves as a reminder that, again, you don’t exactly have the luxury of being picky.

With a forlorn sigh and a drag of your hands down your face, you put on your best confident smile and make your way back inside. The clerk grins as you hand over your ID, leaning over the counter on forearms that you swear you’re not staring at.

They’re just veiny.

And incredibly hot.

“Sorry,” you sigh as you pocket your ID again.

“Don’t worry about it,” there’s a small wave of his hand to brush you off, and when you look up to meet his eyes, there’s a particularly sultry look to his gaze. It’s enough to warm your cheeks again, and you can only pray he doesn’t notice how much you’ve been staring. “Looking for anything in particular?” He bears a lopsided tilt to his grin that sets your nerves further alight as your stomach ties in knots under the handsome stranger’s gaze.

It’s gotta be a bad combination to be clueless on everything around you and thinking about the hot man in front of you rather than the job you’re applying for.

Shaking your head to center yourself, you put on your best smile. “Yeah, actually.” The man’s expression changes to intrigue as you hand over your resumé. His eyes skim it, brows raising.

He gives you a once-over, setting the paper down with a more genuine grin. “We could use the help,” he admits. “The owner’ll be in tomorrow morning, I’ll have her give you a call.”

That’s the most positive response you’ve received to an application thus far. Although you find yourself nervously eyeing a bottle of G-Spot Stimulating Gel on the counter that you don’t know the first thing about, you’re honestly relieved that things could be looking up. You can handle this job with a bit of research, surely.

“That would be great,” you offer a smile. “Thank you.”

–

So, the good news is that you have a job. The bad news is that you still don’t know the first thing about what you’re selling. Admittedly, you probably should have done some research or looked over the product offerings on the store’s site, but somewhere between preparation for a new job and trying to sleep through the train shaking your apartment every few minutes, you forgot.

The kind woman who interviewed you over the phone and the store’s owner– Jillian– greets you at the door as you push into the store. Her graying hair is curled tightly at her roots, her eyes wrinkled at the corner and kind. She wears a pale pink wool sweater that compliments her lip gloss, standing at about the same height as you. She’s old enough to retire and still gorgeous all-the-same.

“Welcome, dear,” she smiles brilliantly at the sight of you, ushering you towards the front counter with a hand on your shoulder. “I appreciate the help, it’ll be nice to step back from the counter and keep my job behind-the-scenes.”

“I’m happy to help,” you reply with a kind grin, keeping up your best customer service attitude. As she leads you behind the counter, your eyes flick to the two tall men standing behind the counter. You recognize the first as the hot white-haired man who accepted your resumé. Cheery, charming, and strikingly handsome with toned muscles visible from under his white t-shirt.

The man beside doesn’t bear the same welcoming nature. In fact, they’re the definition of polar opposites.

Standing a couple of inches taller than the one you recognize, he has black hair that must be dyed, pink roots standing out like a rose among thorns. His ears are pierced in a multitude of ways with matching brow and lip piercings and tattoos that travel up the back of his neck, reaching his jaw. He’s in far darker and more casual clothes, arms crossed over his broad and built chest with his hip leaned on the counter, and a look of mild disinterest that does no favors for your nerves.

Where the white-haired man bears a friendly smile and a button-up that makes him look ready for a job in a cubicle, his black-haired colleague is very clearly assessing your every move, and looks like he could be on-stage at a dingy bar.

She introduces you to the men, earning a grin from the one you recognize and… nothing from the man with black-dyed hair.

“I’ll be in every couple of days to do the cash deposit,” she explains. “I’ll also drop by to check on the office and put together paperwork, but Satoru–” she points to the white-haired man who casually salutes in greeting, “and Ryomen–” her hand waves towards the frowning man who doesn’t react save for a glance at the older woman, “will train you. Satoru usually does the opening shift and Ryomen does the closing shift. We’re closed Mondays and Tuesdays, but you’ll work the rest of the week.” You’re grateful for the consistency, if nothing else. “You’ll take the midday Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, you’ll be alone for a bit while the boys are in classes, and you’ll take the closing shifts on weekends to help Ryomen during busy hours.”

His gaze, a crimson so striking you have half a mind to wonder if they’re contacts, flicks to you, indiscernible, then back to Jillian.

“You won’t be alone while you train of course though, the boys and I will cover until you’re comfortable being alone.” She pats you once on the shoulder. “Does that work for you, dear?”

“Not a problem at all,” you nod. You clasp your hands together politely.

“Perfect!” She claps once in glee, clearly happy to step away from serving customers. You can understand that sentiment. “I’ll grab your paperwork.”

Satoru’s gaze follows her as she heads for the back room, then turns cheerily to you. “Hey, newbie!” He steps forward from the counter, outstretching his hand. “Nice to meet you.” Shaking his hand, you match his grin. “Well, by name anyway.”

You turn your expectations to Ryomen, who doesn’t move from the spot he’s standing in. His weight shifts to the other hip, still leaning against the counter when he juts his chin out in less of a greeting and more of an acknowledgement. “Hey.”

“Nice to meet you, Ryomen.” You give him a little wave.

“Sukuna,” he corrects you. His words aren’t sharp per se, but they carry a blunt edge. “Only the old lady can call me Ryomen.” His voice is as gruff as his style and stature, fitting of the brutish impression he gives off. His slightly narrowed eyes give off the notion that he’s evaluating you. Reading you.

With a tight-lipped smile, Satoru scratches at the back of his head. He shoots you an apologetic glance as you uncomfortably gather that this isn’t unusual for Sukuna.

“Got it, sorry.” You offer an apologetic smile, which he accepts with a nod.

Satoru steps forward to save you from the interaction, motioning with his head out to the store’s floor. “Why don’t I show you around?”

You nod gratefully, letting him lead you away from the counter. Sukuna’s gaze is quick to drop to the counter as he leans over a book of some sort, his chin resting atop his hand. You turn your attention back to Satoru as he leads you through the long back area of the store

A colorful assortment of dildos and vibrators line the walls of the first aisle, anything from glass to silicone in different shapes and size varieties. The light in the far corner flickers when you step into the aisle, faux wood creaking under-foot. The store has that sort of old strip mall feel where, although well-maintained, its age is evident in the old fixtures and failing lights.

“Sorry about him,” Satoru’s voice is a near-whisper as he shakes his head. His hair falls in front of those striking blue eyes as he leads the way down each aisle. You’re not sure you’d really call it showing you around, but you’re certainly walking the floor. “He’s uhhh–” he waves his hand through the air as he searches for the right term. “Moody, or something.” He chuckles. “I don’t know, you get used to it. Don’t take it personally.”

“He doesn’t seem like a customer service person,” you admit sheepishly, keeping your voice down.

Satoru does no favors keeping his own down as he barks a laugh. “No, not really, hey? He’s Jillian’s friend’s son, so–” he shrugs as you mentally connect the dots that landed him this job. “It’s an easy enough gig and honestly business is slow.”

“That’s a shame,” you offer, mostly for Jillian’s sake, although you don’t mind it being slow.

“I said it was slow, not bad,” he grins, eyes narrowing to that sultry gaze he shot you when you dropped off your resumé last week. “We have a lot of regulars. People who spend a lot. You’ll recognize them in time.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’ll be nice to have some company for the end of my shifts,” he adds, tilting his head to eye you. He crosses his arms over his chest, catching your attention as you glance at his muscles just long enough to consider yourself caught. He takes the opportunity and swings with it. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you.” His voice drops a tone, the flirty lilt warming the tips of your ears.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to get to know you too.”

Jillian returns with paperwork before Satoru can take the opportunity to flirt any further– but you get the feeling he will. It seems to go hand-in-hand with his personality. Once everything is signed and Satoru has headed off for class, Jillian leaves training in Sukuna’s hands as she retreats to the back to file your paperwork.

Sukuna’s gaze is a slow drag down your form as he evaluates the dark blouse and nice jeans you chose to wear. Admittedly, you now feel a little overdressed given his relative comfort and ripped jeans, but in spite of the judgement clear as day in his eyes, he keeps it to himself. At least, as long as you don’t count the frown he bears. You can’t really tell if that’s meant for you or if that’s his neutral expression.

With a sigh, he shuts whatever book is on the counter behind him and gives you a rundown in short, clipped sentences. “Floor work first, cash after. You worked cash before?”

You nod, though the register looks fairly old here.

He gives a hum of approval. “Good. The floor's pretty self-explanatory. Everything is ordered by brand, then color. Shipments Mondays and Thursdays. Back room for any overstock.” He points over his shoulder to where Jillian disappeared as he lays out instructions like facts. “No clock system. Just work when you work. Pay is every second Friday. You’ll get a check.”

Again, you nod.

His gaze travels the length of your figure, but it doesn’t feel as though he’s checking you out. It’s an evaluation. And you’re pretty sure you’re failing before you’ve had the chance to start. “I don’t care what you do when customers aren’t around. Study, read, go on your phone. I don’t give a shit.”

“Oh, okay. That’s kinda nice.”

His tone is apathetic as he hums in agreement. “I didn’t have time last night and I know Satoru’s lazy ass didn’t clean this morning, so I’ll get you to organize the shibari while I put some shit away.”

You nod, slipping away from the counter onto the floor. His gaze tracks you as you very unconfidently thread through the rows in search of shibari. To your horror, nothing is well-labeled, which means there isn’t a distinct section with some big flashy sign to point you in the direction of a kink you don’t know the name of.

“It’s at the back,” Sukuna’s low voice calls out. Biting down on your lip, you move towards the back of the store, your gaze trailing along the wall. There are a number of bondage devices you can’t name, ropes that you assume go with bondage, and chains and whips that all feel bondage-adjacent.

So, more or less, you’re still at a loss.

Really failing that evaluation now.

Behind you, Sukuna is replacing products that were atop the counter at the front, but his movements stop when he fixes you with his narrowed gaze. “The ropes,” he points them out on the wall with displeasure prickling around the edge of his sandpaper-scraped voice. Now that you look at them, it feels obvious given how out of order they are.

“I know!” Heat flares beneath your skin in all the wrong places. Still, you won’t let him get to you. “I was just looking.”

He doesn’t reply, his crimson gaze boring into your expression so hard that you’re pretty sure he can see right through you.

At least you can’t fuck up the organization of the ropes.

Quietly sucking in a breath, you turn to the wall, pulling down the plastic-covered rope bundles that are out of place.

“So,” you turn your gaze over your shoulder. “You’re in school?”

“Mhm.”

“What are you taking?”

“Business.”

He’s difficult, too. Great.

Once the ropes are in a more sound order, you spin on your heel to face him. He’s already turning away, moving to a different area to put away a vibrator.

“Can I–”

“Here.” He tosses a bottle of lube at you, caught clumsily in unexpecting fingers. “Put that away, too.”

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you nod, more to yourself than him. At least you know what lube is.

You search the store for the spot where it belongs, twisting it on the shelf so the label faces out, then make your way to the counter where Sukuna’s already standing over his book again. Before you have the opportunity to speak, the bell over the door rings as a customer walks through the door. She’s around your age, and quickly flashes ID towards Sukuna, who nods.

A regular, you suppose.

The tattooed clerk’s eyes trail to you, jutting his chin out expectantly towards the customer.

Making your way up to the woman with cute blonde hair cut short, you fall into your customer service voice. “Can I help you find anything?”

“Hi!” She beams at you, her smile putting your first day nerves at ease. “Thank you, but I know where most things are,” she waves you off politely. “I appreciate it, though!” She moves past you towards the back of the store, whirling around suddenly as her gaze shifts between you and Sukuna. “Oh, actually, did you get any more of the cherry stimulants in?”

You turn your attention to Sukuna, who fixes you with a lazy unsure expression. “She can check for you.” He leans his hip on the counter again, arms crossed over his chest as he faces you. “It’ll be in the back. They come in a box with a cherry logo on them.”

Worrying your lip between your teeth, you nod as you make your way to the back.

Truthfully, the cramped room is a bit of a relief from the uncomfortable tension Sukuna just seems to naturally exude. Him and Satoru are big personalities in the most opposite way you can possibly imagine, but at least Satoru is willing to chat.

Jillian glances over her shoulder from an old computer at the back of the room. “Everything going well, dear?”

“Yeah,” you grin, though truthfully this already feels like a disaster where you’re being scornfully judged by your colleague and accidentally making enemies on day one. With one of the only people you work with. So that’s great. “There’s just someone looking for stimulants.”

She shifts in her chair, doing a once-over of the boxes. “Not back here. There’s an inventory list on this computer that you can usually use, but I don’t want to lose progress on your files. Can you ask Ryomen to check the holds drawer? Satoru might have put some on hold if he knew they were looking.”

“Sure, thank you!”

With a grateful smile, you head back to the front and relay the information to Sukuna.

“Holds drawer’s there.” He points to a handle on the lower inside of the counter. Within are a number of boxes and small sachet packs. “Mm, there they are.”

Clearly one of the sachet packs is what she’s looking for. Unfortunately, they all fail to say exactly what they are on the front with bright and bold brands rather than descriptors or even a damn cherry logo, which means you haven’t the faintest clue what you’re looking at.

“The orange one,” Sukuna adds when you’re still paused staring at the drawer. There’s an unimpressed lilt to his tone that has you wincing before you pull the sachet pack from the drawer. You do what you can to keep your expression neutral and feign confidence when you stand upright again.

The whole situation is tense and embarrassing. It might at least be tolerable with Satoru, but Sukuna either enjoys your suffering or he’s an asshole.

The unfortunate third possible option is both.

His grimace as you set the pack in his hand isn’t lost on you, although you choose to head towards the register in hopes that he can at least teach you how it works and you can get on with this day. He chooses not to say a word to you as the customer finishes looking around, returning to the front with a rose-shaped vibrator.

“Ooh, thank you!” She grins as she spots the packet at the register.

Sukuna nods, glancing over his shoulder to make sure you’re paying attention. “Just type the amounts into the register,” he explains, putting both prices from the stickers into the old machine. Once he hits the equals button, the cash drawer pops open as he gets the total and it calculates tax for him. The customer flashes a card, so Sukuna shuts the drawer and types the amount into the machine to his right. “While she pays, get the serials on each tag and write them here,” he explains, pulling the number from each barcode and writing them on a pad of paper left of the register. Once her payment is processed, a receipt prints, which he hands to her, keeping the second copy under the till. Finally, he bags the items.

She thanks him, giving you a polite little wave and retreating out the door.

You let out a breath, nodding. “The register seems easy enough,” you try more friendly commentary in spite of his half-assed teaching, but you suppose by now you shouldn’t expect Sukuna to be receptive. He hums, a judgemental flash in his eyes as he pins you in place with a narrowed gaze like he can see something you can’t.

He works his jaw in a slow grind of teeth like he wants to say something but thinks better of it, dropping your gaze. “I’ve got to study. There’s not much else to the job besides that, so keep yourself busy.”

Thankfully the rest of the day passes without much of a hitch and you’re able to leave as evening hits, with Sukuna staying to close the store.

He doesn’t give you another word for the remainder of the day. He doesn’t expect you to handle customers. He handles the till. He doesn’t even look at you as you let him know your shift is over. You aren’t sure whether to be grateful or dread the rest of your shifts with him, but thankfully you’re able to spend more time with Satoru tomorrow.

Given that you’re off a couple of hours before close, you use the opportunity to stake out local bars with stages and take note of a small pub tucked away in a little corner. The outside has a sign that doesn’t light up in the night’s cover, but within it’s rather warm, with string lights hung over a stage in the back. While you work on your online presence, it’s the perfect spot to get your stage skills up.

The thick metal of the door is cool on your hand, creaking on its hinge as you press through to the interior warmth. There’s a small two-man group on-stage performing low-energy grunge that seem to be garnering decent attention from onlookers and groups you would be willing to bet are regulars based on the way they move around the small scene.

Adjusting your jacket over your shoulder, you make your way to the bar. The bartender looks to be a couple of years senior to you, with short brown hair kept neat aside from a couple of stray strands that fall over his forehead. He has a prominent nose and sunken eyes that give him an overall air of tiredness.

The apron he wears over a clean-cut button-up pulls taut across his chest as he reaches overhead to set a bottle of whiskey along the back wall before turning his attention to you with a polite smile. “What can I get for you?”

“Oh, um, actually,” you begin with a polite smile, “I was wondering who I need to impress to be up there.” You point to the grunge band at the back as his gaze follows you.

He hums, his calm demeanor shifting from the routine of bartending to something more friendly. “I can give you the owner’s email. If you fit in with the crowd, he’ll work with your schedule.”

Casting another glance at the two men on-stage, you nod, chewing on your lip in an effort to hide your giddy smile. “That’d be great. So… what– a little moody, kind of chill? Maybe some minor chords in there?”

The bartender chuckles, picking up a glass like routine simply fills his subconscious. “Sounds to me like you’ve already got the gig.”

Leaving behind the smell of drowned sorrows and shared laughter, you can hold onto the fact that while your day took a turn for the worst, it’s just a job. Once you leave the building, you don’t have to think about it and can focus on music. Sukuna isn’t the end of the world and if you can manage to stay out of his hair, surely you can find some sort of common ground with him.

–

Wind whips too fast across the street when you lock your car behind you. Your unzipped coat flails in the wind, leaving you with a flustered expression as the shop door slams shut behind you.

“Hey newbie,” Satoru greets you with an amused grin. You flash him a smile as you smooth down your outfit, far more casual than the previous one with jeans and a band shirt. “How was yesterday?” He asks, wiping down the counter and tossing the wipe in a garbage as he claps his hands together to brush them off.

The chuckle that parts your lips is half-hearted as you drop your laptop bag atop the front counter. “Kind of a disaster?” You wince, shaking your head. “Is he seriously always like that?”

Satoru stands upright, running a hand through white locks. “He gets better when you get to know him, but yeah he’s kind of an asshole,” he laughs brightly, unbothered. “I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips.”

“Sure, if the chips are sour,” you mutter.

Satoru snickers, nodding. “What happened anyway?”

“I didn’t immediately know where everything is without being shown,” you wave a hand through the air, letting it hang there for a moment in disbelief.

Satoru, unphased, grins. “Oh, yeah. Sounds like a classic case of not running on Sukuna’s schedule. You should really get on that.”

You throw your head back with a sigh, giving a dismissive wave of your hands. “Whatever, it’s a new day, right? Maybe it won’t be so bad today.”

Satoru teasingly sucks in a breath through his teeth. “Sorry newbie, but my sources are telling me today’s weather is looking cloudy in Sukuna-land.”

Satoru’s unseriousness helps settle a modicum of your nerves as you find yourself laughing at his charm.

“But hey, you’ve got me for a couple of hours first.” He grins, settling the balls of his palms atop the counter as he leans his weight back. One of his sleeves, rolled to the elbow, slides down his forearm to his wrist. “What did he go over with you, anyway?”

You laugh loosely. “Like, nothing. He gave me a thirty second run-down of the till and told me I don’t need to clock in or out.”

“That’s gold,” Satoru shakes his head in an effort to get hair from falling into his line of sight. “I thought he’d be nicer to a pretty girl like you.” His face lights up as you avert your eyes, smiling at the scuffed floor underfoot. He keeps the conversation flowing like it’s second nature. “Tell you what, I’ll actually try to show you around before he gets here, and you can tell me what brought you to the city.”

Recovering quickly, you fix him with a humbled expression at the callout. “Is it that obvious that I’m not from here?”

Satoru barks a laugh. “Yeah. You’ve got small town energy.”

“Small town energy? What does that even mean?” You follow him out from behind the counter as he leads the way to the back room first.

“Just vibes,” he shrugs. “It’s good. Cute,” he grins. You get the feeling he’s a bit of a flirt through and through, but truthfully you enjoy the attention.

Plus, he’s hot.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a bashful smile, chewing on your lip. “I uh– I wanted to give my dream a shot before tying myself down in a career I hate.”

His eyes light up as he turns to you with a palm on the door handle for the back room. “Oh yeah? What’s your dream?”

“Singing. Music,” you admit, feeling just shy enough that you avert your gaze in spite of your giddiness.

“No way.” He’s grinning widely now, his hand leaving the door handle as he chooses to lean against it instead, arms crossed tantalizingly over his chest. “I feel like I’m obligated to be the annoying guy who asks you to sing for me now.”

You laugh heartily. “At least you know it would make you that guy.”

With a chuckle, he finally turns around to lead the way into the back room. He peppers actual explanations of the job’s inner workings between personal questions.

After explaining the inventory system on the back computer and how boxes are organized, he leads the way back through the aisles, pointing out different sections as you walk. “So, do you take gigs between shifts?”

“When I can,” you nod. “I’m trying to put together the money to get some studio time soon. I have some self-recorded stuff, but I don’t think I’m much of a producer.”

“Will you at least tell me what genre?”

“Um,” you shrug thoughtfully, “I guess like punk or indie rock?”

“Oooh, so you’re a moody guitar girl. I like it, I like it.” He nods his approval with a wide grin. The faintest of dimples forms at the corners of his lips, giving him a charmingly boyish smile.

Your genuine shared laughter sends flutters to the pit of your stomach, warm and welcome, as you finish threading through aisles and head back to the front counter. Satoru pushes up on forearms that flex under his weight as he settles atop the counter. You follow suit on the opposite counter, head tilting as you inquire about him.

“Jillian mentioned you’re in school, what are you taking?”

“Business,” he replies with a lopsided smile.

“Oh, like Sukuna?”

“Damn, you got an answer out of him?” Satoru chuckles. “Yeah, he’s a year ahead of me but we’re in the same program. I think he wants to do the whole company startup thing though, I’m looking to kinda take over for Jillian and eventually buy this place if things work out. She’s holding out until I finish.”

Your brow raises as you fix him with an inquisitive look. “You wanna take over here?”

“Don’t sound so shocked,” he chides, gaze lidded with an almost-cocky attitude. “Don’t get me wrong, I know it doesn’t seem busy even with online orders, but I actually think there’s a huge untapped market here.” He straightens and you can see the passion and drive gleaming in his eager gaze. “I think the way sex toys are sold both online and in-stores is outdated and makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable and I want to try to do something new to help people feel more comfortable and open in terms of sex.”

You blink, nodding at the insightful way that he goes on to explain the ins and outs of his opinion on the industry and how, although he loves Jillian, he can see a lot of ways to use his knowledge to improve the business and hopes to change the way kinks are viewed.

It’s not like it hasn’t occurred to you just how inexperienced you are, but as you nod along to his passionate explanation, it occurs to you just how experienced he is. He doesn’t say it outright, but he talks about the way condoms are made and how bad they can be for some people, how he hopes to bring in products for people who struggle with medication killing their sex drive, and even the intricacies of what products work well and which don’t and how he would love to stop stocking them altogether.

It shouldn’t come as a shock– it doesn’t– after all, he’s hot and flirty, but it certainly gives the butterflies in your stomach an edge that you aren’t sure what to make of. It’s not uncomfortable– Satoru’s still kind and has a welcoming personality– it’s closer to inadequacy. Like you should know more, and not just for job purposes. It doesn’t sit well.

But you shouldn’t be thinking about your coworker like that anyway, right?

Thankfully, before you can think too hard about the subject, Sukuna walks through the door with a heavy step to his boots.

Maybe ‘thankfully’ doesn’t suit his arrival, though. His gaze flits briefly between each of you before he heads straight to the back, giving you both a noncommittal wave as you greet him.

When the door shuts behind the brute, Satoru turns to you. He grimaces, faux empathy shining in cerulean seas. “The weather report was right.”

The day passes so quickly with Satoru even without a single customer entering the store that the rest of the day feels like a slog without him. Or maybe it just feels like a slog because Sukuna makes it clear he wants nothing to do with you. He even stayed in the back until Satoru had to leave in spite of the changes in their regular schedules just to train you.

He’s not even that unfriendly with Satoru either from what the kinder of the two told you. He tried to reason that your tattooed co-worker simply isn’t fond of new people, but you’re pretty sure your inexperience grates on his nerves.

And unfortunately, every little slip up seems to tack on. Your shifts with Satoru are a breeze that leaves you grinning bashfully over your new crush while your shifts with Sukuna have you questioning every life choice you’ve ever made.

Your first weekend closing shift with Sukuna, you’re pretty sure you confirm your suspicions that he simply doesn’t like you.

The bell rings overhead as a tall man with dark hair walks through the door. You greet him and offer a hand, but his gait is purposeful as he heads into the back after flashing ID. Passing the time by fiddling with a pen as Sukuna stares blankly at the door with a hand lazily strewn over his textbook page, your gaze lifts when the man returns.

“Excuse me. Do you know the difference between this–” he shows you a bullet vibrator, “and this?” He holds up a hitachi wand next, “aside from size?”

Your jaw hangs open stupidly as you try to formulate a response but find yourself at a loss when size seems like the reasonable answer. Feeling your face flush, you glance sidelong at the business major.

If looks could kill.

The worst part? It’s not even glare.

It’s the most unfiltered and raw disappointment you’ve ever seen.

He huffs, pushing up from the counter. “The bullet is discreet but weak. It takes batteries and they usually only last for five hours overall. It’s still a good amount of use, but they might be watch batteries, which can be a pain.” He shoots you a pointed stare that makes you wonder if you would rather have just embarrassed yourself in front of Satoru in spite of your crush. “The wand is rechargeable, way stronger, lasts about fifteen hours, and has a lot more vibration modes,” he explains confidently.

The man nods, setting the bullet aside as he brings the wand to the counter. Over the course of the past few days, Sukuna’s taken most of the floor-related duties away from you in spite of the fact that you have tried to do some research and are getting to know the sections and general genres of toys. That question simply didn’t come up. Yet for all of the times he’s made a motion for you to take over cash, he doesn’t even offer it this time.

You get the feeling this goes beyond his usual irritation.

You can practically feel it radiating off of him in waves of negative energy.

The moment the customer walks out the door, Sukuna’s palm splays across the counter as he turns with frustrating evenness to face you. Somehow his ability to keep his actions level while being visibly affronted is worse than if he would have just yelled.

“Do you think you’re cute for making my job harder or did you just apply for the wrong fucking job?”

Okay. Fuck this guy.

“You can’t be serious right now.”

He lifts his hands in a loose shrug. “Do I look like I’m kidding?” He replies, dry and even with venomous fangs.

You scoff, but relent nonetheless given that he is close to the store’s owner and you can not afford to lose this job.

Literally.

You can’t call a scoop of peanut butter dinner again.

“Look, I’m sorry, this is just–” you hesitate, your mind muddled as you search for an explanation. Sighing in exasperation, you throw your hands up, letting them fall to your sides with a plop against your jeans. You settle on the truth before you take too long to reply. “Sex toys are new to me.”

His jaw ticks as he leans his hip back against the counter, arms crossing over his chest. Somehow, he makes Satoru look small– not thin or short, but small– given how much bulkier he is. He’s hot too, but his personality stands as a bit of a wall between you. His jaw works, eyes narrowed as he takes in your words.

At last, he chuckles. Dry and devoid of any amusement. “Why the fuck did you apply here if you don’t know anything about the shit we sell?”

“Because I need a job?” You reply incredulously.

He huffs a sigh. “Just my fucking luck.” He turns back to the register, haphazardly tossing the receipt into a small bin under the counter before he grabs the bullet vibrator and heads out onto the floor. “Figure that shit out,” he calls sourly without looking back at you. “Watch porn or buy something, I don’t give a shit. Just don’t make my job harder.”

Leaning back against the counter where it meets the wall, you let your head fall back in disbelief.

Asshole.

–

You wish you could say your first month passes seamlessly, but Sukuna makes the seams painfully obvious.

With Satoru, they’re subtle but you still feel them.

They both present separate problems.

Sukuna is an outright asshole and you want to get things right if only to not hear his virulent voice. The silence is somehow better.

Satoru is kind, open, and caring, but leagues ahead of you in experience and you have a massive crush. There aren’t enough customers in the morning to embarrass yourself in front of him, but you do find yourself wanting to impress him and against your better judgement, you’re pretty sure you’ve given him the impression you know what you’re doing from what little research you’ve done and what you’ve picked up over the month.

At least you’re trained enough that you get a couple of hours to yourself between Satoru’s departure and Sukuna’s arrival now that their hours aren’t extended in order to train you.

“You gonna be okay on your own?” Satoru asks, shrugging his jacket over his shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” you brush him off with a smile.

He nudges your arm, unknowingly sending goosebumps in a trail up your skin. “Good. Text me if you need something. Or, I dunno. If you’re bored.”

Your heart does a little flip. “Yeah. Okay, thanks.”

You watch bashfully as he leaves, offering a little wave. Once he’s out of sight, you lean on your forearms over the counter. With a forlorn sigh, you drop your chin to the vinyl below, staring blankly out the window. Truthfully, it’s nice to have a breather between each man. You need the time to prepare yourself to handle Sukuna.

Your mind’s distraction comes in the form of your phone buzzing a few minutes later.

1:36 PM Satoru || not bored yet? ;)

A distraction to be sure. Whether it’s fortunate or not– yet to be determined.

The door seems to be opening more and more with him these days and as giddy as that makes you, nerves are beginning to show more and more at the seams. It’s foolish really, and you know that, but you find yourself constantly coming back to your lack of experience.

1:37 PM You || Give me like 5 more minutes and then I will be

You can practically hear the laugh he barks, having grown fond of his company.

You’re still casually texting back and forth when Sukuna’s shoulder presses on the door. He moves confidently through the shop, casting a single glance at you before dropping his bag off in the back room.

He’s still a pain in the ass, but Satoru was right that you do get used to it. You’re not sure that you’d call that a win, but at least you’ve come to some sort of silent agreement with him out of sheer necessity.

He didn’t leave you with many options after realizing just how little you know about the industry. When he got in the following day and returned your greeting with a painfully mild ‘don’t bother’, you had to figure out some sort of system that would prevent him from interacting with you altogether if it means his attitude is milder.

That’s how you landed here. He handles the floor and questions, you handle cash. You can tell he hates the arrangement given that he’s not a chatty guy, but at least you aren’t pinned in place by his vile appraisal every time you interact.

He’s civil.

Civil enough.

Most of the time.

For him, anyway.

He’s less judgemental, at least, and when you are able to help on the floor, he tends to leave you be more often than not. It’s like the loosest form of appreciation you can think of.

You’re pretty sure ‘tolerates’ is a fitting word for how he sees you. Like some sort of intrusive insect that sits just out of reach.

When he re-emerges from the back with his coat shrugged off, you’re surprised to see him in a black button-up and slacks, carrying his usual aloof expression as he makes his way to the counter. Admittedly, it’s a good look for him.

It’s unfair that he gets to be hot and an asshole.

“Is there a reason you’re staring?”

Thank god you don’t find him intimidating anymore. He’s a dick. Even to customers from time to time, but you don’t find yourself feeling small under his judgement. Maybe you should, but your ability to quickly bounce back could easily be placed at fault.

Blinking, you avert your gaze. “Sorry. I’m just not used to seeing you so dressed up.”

He examines your expression as though he suspects a lie in your words. “I had a presentation,” he explains, surprisingly open as he offers the explanation willingly.

Holy shit. It’s the first sunny day in the Sukuna forecast.

“What sort of presentation?”

“A marketing pitch.”

“Oh, nice.” You nod, trying to keep the peace. “How’d it go?”

He nods, turning to the counter to open his laptop. “Good. We’re gonna workshop it a bit, but I’m hoping to pitch to investors soon.” There’s pride within the evenness of his voice that has you tilting your head, intrigued to get something genuine from him.

Leaning in, you push to see how much you can get from him. “Like, a startup idea?” You recall Satoru mentioning something of the sort.

His gaze fixes you from over his shoulder. You get the feeling with him that he’s always trying to read you. “Yeah. A platform where people can pitch their businesses to customers within a certain distance without needing social media.”

“Oh,” you blink, mildly surprised. “That’s a really good idea.”

He hums, turning back to his laptop.

“You don’t really strike me as the CEO type, if I’m being honest.”

“I’m not,” he agrees, surprisingly unbothered by the observation. You consider yourself lucky he doesn’t take it as an insult. “I’d be looking for a co-founder to handle the personal, financial, and sales bullshit. I’d run strategy and go-to-market.”

Admittedly, yeah. That suits him. He’s sharp and straightforward, he seems like the type to be more inclined to work on strategy and run everything without the constant need for approval and help from others.

“That sounds more your style. What made you think of the platform idea?”

He doesn’t look back as he replies. “Just seemed like something that would make money.”

You recognize that as Sukuna being polite. He’s shutting you down without a look that makes your skin crawl for once. You suppose it’s as good of a time as any to return to your texts. Your friend from back home has been religiously sending memes during your shifts to get you through the Sukuna days and today is no exception. You laugh at a few of them under your breath.

The day is as uneventful as usual. Sukuna even casts an approving glance in your direction when you correctly answer a customer’s question. He’s not so bad when he isn’t glaring every couple of minutes.

You pray the weather stays sunny in Sukunaland.

Shutting the register as a customer leaves, you turn back inside the store to find Sukuna back to work, hunched over his textbook and regurgitating the information into notes. You opt not to bother him, turning your attention instead to a flickering bulb in the back of the floor. Much like both men have chosen not to mention or fix it, you have too.

Turning your attention back to your phone, you cast a smile at your latest text from Satoru.

5:49 PM Satoru || how’s the pretty newbie handling our favorite co-worker??

5:53 PM You || The weather's looking surprisingly sunny today!!

5:54 PM Satoru || be on the lookout for rain. the weather can change on a dime

5:54 PM You || I can handle a bit of rain

5:55 PM Satoru || i’ll bet you can ;)

There your stomach goes doing flips again. Your thumbs fiddle with the edges of your phone case, pulling at the plastic as you stare at the message with that horrible mix of nerves and your stomach tying in knots. You get so caught up in your own self-doubt, you don’t realize you’re staring at Sukuna, busy with his own phone.

“What?” He gruffs, retaining that hint of annoyance.

“Hm?” You blink, brought back to the present. Before you, Sukuna is leaning against the counter, phone in-hand as his jaw shifts left and right. His lip ring noticeably catches like he’s fiddling with it. “Oh. Sorry.” With a shake of your head, you stare back down at your screen. Your gaze catches on the winky face. The underlying meaning behind it and his text. The impression you’ve probably given off working at a sex toy boutique.

The goddamn butterflies, though. The same ones causing the wave of self-consciousness that you know is foolish. But fuck is it hard not to feel that way when Satoru is undeniably the kind of guy that has people hanging off his shoulder with little to no effort. Your experience shouldn’t matter, but society has taught you to think otherwise.

“Hey,” you speak up on impulse before your mind can catch up to the move your mouth is already making. You can’t be certain whether it’s bravery or stupidity. “You know a lot about what we sell, right?”

His eyes narrow, minute. Just enough to catch your attention. “Yeah. I’m good at my job.”

The dig at your knowledge has you pressing your lips together. God, he’s frustrating. “Asshole.” His brow raises slightly, like something he once deemed uninteresting or unuseful has caught his attention and he’s appraising the situation to find if you’re deserving of it. “Is there, like… a way to improve without watching porn?” You query, worrying your lip between your teeth.

No longer engrossed in his laptop upon noticing your stare, Sukuna’s gaze bores into you. He doesn’t particularly make you uneasy now like he did when you first started, but it is sharp in spite of the evenness behind it. “I told you. Buy toys.”

You suppose you could have been a bit more specific. “No, I know that. A lot of them need a partner, though.”

He waves his hand in disinterest through the air like you’ve already answered your own question and he’s done entertaining any more. “Find one, then.” He’s already looking away as he replies.

You suck in a breath. “I’m from a small town. I just moved here, I don’t really know anyone.”

Sukuna just stares at you again like he expects you to figure it out yourself. His arms cross over his chest, his hip leaned against the counter. It’s not until the air turns stifling, your words hanging a hair too long as you meet his gaze that he cuts the tension with a disbelieving laugh.

“You’re asking me?” You can’t make heads or tails of his expression when it sits somewhere between disbelief and intrigue. It’s akin to the look you got upon calling him an asshole.

“No! Or– maybe? I don’t know.” The wince you shoot him is humiliating as you try to navigate the stormy seas you’ve set yourself sailing through.

“Why don’t you go ask Satoru?” He queries, pushing a hand back through his black-dyed locks like this question was never meant for him. Still, his tone doesn’t give off the impression that he’s irritated by you, so much as something more curious in nature.

Your gaze averts as your jaw hangs open in a frustrating moment of hesitation. Briefly glancing at the texts sitting in your hand is the only tell Sukuna needs, unfortunately able to read you like a book for some god forsaken reason.

“You’ve got to be fucking with me,” he chuckles, airy and amused. He pushes up off the counter, taking a step towards you like he’s laying out a challenge. “You don’t give a shit about the job. You’re trying to impress that fucker.” He rakes his tongue over his teeth, standing over you like he owns this damn conversation.

You cross your arms over your chest, fixing him with your own judgement. “You don’t have to make a big deal out of it.”

He pushes a condescending breath through his nose, smiling with nothing but mockery. “I don’t, but I’m gonna. You two would hit it off.”

Frowning, you opt to not give him the reaction he wants. Your nails dig into the skin of your arm. “I think I liked you better when you didn’t talk as much.”

“Most people do,” he smirks. He steps forward, hands in his pockets as he leans over you. “You still want me to teach you a thing or two, sweetheart?” His tone drips with condescension now that the person he once saw as little more than a pain in his ass has become something he can toy with.

You roll your eyes. You hadn’t expected your quiet co-worker to be this kind of an asshole. Why couldn’t he just say no and move on? Where did all the theatrics come from? “Why are you such a dick?”

“Answer the question,” he deflects, unbothered and painfully egotistical.

You huff, staring at the lemon-shaped vibrator sitting atop the counter that you’ve been contemplating buying for the last hour. “Fine. Yeah, I do.”

He blows a breath through his nose, standing upright again once he’s gotten your admission in his hands. “What’s in it for me?” The way he stands over you, chin tilted, and eyes narrowed, makes you huff.

You hadn’t exactly thought that far ahead. Hell, you didn’t expect to even voice your thoughts out loud. You barely even know enough about him to offer him anything. “I took business as a minor,” you suggest. “I could tutor you.”

“Nah, I’m set.”

You shrug, exasperated. Your hands wave uselessly through the air before plopping back down at your sides. “What do you want, then?”

He regards you with a thoughtful expression. “I’ll train you to close. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing, if I ask you to take my shift, you drop whatever you’re doing and take it.”

You shift your jaw to the left, chewing on the inside of your cheek. You expected worse.

“And you don’t tell Jillian or Satoru you took my shift. I keep the money.”

Ah. There’s the ‘worse’ you expected.

Frowning, you give the nerves in the pit of your stomach a moment to settle over making a deal with the devil. You want to say figuratively but you aren’t so sure. “Fine.” You extend your hand, but the man shakes his head, frowning.

“Rules first, then we shake.” He holds up his pointer. “Don’t tell a soul. Not even your friends back home.” Another finger. “No kissing. No making out. No sex.” He holds up a third finger. “This isn’t a little romantic fantasy thing. This isn’t a relationship. Don’t call this shit friends with benefits or fuck buddies, either. We’re not friends. Don’t expect anything cute from me. Got that?”

You don’t bother holding back a scoff. “I wasn’t going to, trust me.”

He smirks, unbothered. “Good.” His hand extends first this time.

For a long moment, you stare. You contemplate your life choices. You debate just ignoring your fears with Satoru and praying you can play the role of having experience. You equally contemplate just telling him you have no experience and that you’re nervous.

But somehow, the way nerves churn your stomach makes the butterflies worse. You want to squash them. You want to impress Satoru.

And you know. You know it’s stupid. You know you shouldn’t have to impress him, but the heart and mind don’t always connect, do they?

Against your better judgement, you clasp hands with him. You go to do the actual motion of a handshake but he keeps your hand in place. When your gaze raises to meet his in a silent question, he’s scrutinizing every little movement in your features.

His expression doesn’t hold the condescension you expect. His gaze is devoid of amusement, fixated on the frown you bear. “You really sure about this?”

You don’t hesitate to nod.

His eyes narrow a sliver. “Well, aren't you full of surprises?” There’s that hint of assholery. “One more rule.” His hand remains unmoving, still clasped with yours as he holds your gaze. “Either of us can shut this down at any time. It still never gets mentioned.”

You nod. “Agreed.”

Finally, he goes through with shaking your hand. “When are you looking to start?”

Your nose wrinkles at the way he makes it sound. “Do you have to say it like it’s a– I don’t know, job or something?”

“Oh, my bad,” he sneers, his grin too proud. “When do you wanna get fucked?”

You shouldn’t have asked.

Pulling your hand away from him, you rub your temples. You’re definitely not about to prod any further, lest he get more vulgar. “I’m free ton–”

“Not tonight,” he interrupts. “I got someone coming over to study.”

Scheduling ahead doesn’t sit right with you either. “Can we just decide during shifts? See how we’re feeling?”

“Whatever suits you,” he shrugs. The mild arrogance to his tone is… another can of worms to unpack, but as your colleague turns back to his studies, you only have one question for yourself.

What the hell have you gotten yourself into?

main masterlist || series masterlist || next ⪢

౨ৎ a/n ; i hope you enjoyed the first chapter of what will be a VERY kinky series LOLOL. i'm having a lot of fun with these two so far and i hope you are too <3

as a note, i'm trying moving tags to another blog which some of you may have seen due to changes in how tumblr's bot detection system is working, so please bear with me while i figure out how to not get my account flagged while doing taglists 🙃 edit; it's not working. if you weren't tagged, bear with me while i try to figure it out :')

౨ৎ taglist ; OPEN. age must be visible in bio. 18+ only. @gojosoups @yenayaps @m3owr3ow @tohru-tales @crimzie129 @lostgxrlblog @sterzin @scaraamo @sunyomz @norahlolzz @whateverineedsblog @buttclencher28 @blueemochii @pequnopastel @cupidxml @saintdilucc @officiallydrunk @yvannaille @brazzigy @ilovebeansyay @deewrites01 @martianzmars @volleyballgirl2022 @mtchamnsta @astrokenny @ge3ked @ri-sa20 @heichouaack @iluvgetosuguru @winkii @dishs0pe @renoamio @slutty-chronicles @elixoq @bam-boozledx @serinabean @schnunny @yoniknows @k1yomee @14pxa @imrandomstuffsblog @sixeyes0607 @tokyolhtl @ellybell2 @lalilou21 @weiiraru @torusangelface @hastletea @naomikozura @crunchycathy

writing, format & dividers © starmapz. art © ackshuallyvalerie. do not repost, translate, or copy.

[starmapz]

for your entertainment - r. sukuna

౨ৎ experienced!sukuna x virgin f!reader [adult boutique au] - ongoing series

❝ chasing your dreams isn't all it's cracked up to be. your apartment shakes when the train passes and eating a scoop of peanut butter and calling it girl dinner is getting depressing. when you finally manage to land a job at a store that sells sex toys, it's possibly the biggest relief of your life. there's just one issue: you're a virgin. you don't know the first thing about toys and you don't want your cute and flirty white-haired co-worker to know. against your better judgement, you find yourself turning to your other co-worker for lessons and learn the hard way he's just as much of an asshole in bed as he is at work. ❞

౨ৎ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. smut. fwb but you aren't friends. slow burn romance/fast burn smut. sukuna is 23ish, reader is24/25ish. reader is sexually reserved but confident, nerdy, and a band geek. arrogant!sukuna. dom!sukuna. mild corruption. size difference. piv (protected & unprotected). sex toys. dildos. vibrators. sybians. shibari & bondage. restraint. gags. butt plugs. fingering. cock rings. clit stimulants. g-spot stimulants. nipple clamps. remote controlled vibrator. lubes. sex games. blindfolds. aphrodisiacs. biting. marking. possession. dick piercings & tattoos. established safe word. used safe word. loss of virginity. oral (f! and m!). handjob. dacryphilia. mating press. overstimulation. cum play. manhandling. edging. sensory deprivation. (mutual) masturbation (f! and m!). choking. mild love triangle with gojo.

i aim to spread sex positivity, explore the effects of the stigma around virginity, and educate on safety in exploring kinks :)

౨ৎ wc ; estimated 100k.

౨ৎ a/n ; art by ackshuallyvalerie <3 shoutout to @/yenayaps for sukuna dick piercing brain worms <33

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1 ⊹ ࣪ untouched - coming soon! 2 ⊹ ࣪ coming soon

౨ৎ taglist ; OPEN. age must be visible in bio. 18+ only. permatags will be tagged in chapters. @yenayaps @gojosoups

writing, format & dividers © starmapz. art © ackshuallyvalerie. do not repost, translate, or copy.

[satomiu]

꒰ 𓈒 ׁ ︎ ︎ ✿　GOOD @ GOODBYES ! ㅅ `͈ 𓏼 )ა first kiss 𝑤. ͏͏ sukuna　　ac. su2kuna ಎ ⎯⎯ 　✉️　awky ⨍ reader　　2.2k

the only shocking thing about ryomen sukuna was that he was a surprisingly good boyfriend. like, embarrassingly good to you.

he was still the occasional dickhead, obviously. but at least he nice about it. he always went at your pace, never pushed when you got shy or overwhelmed, never made you feel stupid for needing reassurance. hell, he even showed up with a bouquet of lilies for your first “official” date with him.

and the date itself wasn’t anything extravagant either. no fancy rooftop reservation, no over the top attempt to sweep you off your feet. just a quiet little restaurant tucked between buildings, warm lighting spilling across wooden tables while soft music played somewhere overhead.

simple. intimate. perfect for you.

a secluded booth in the corner, sukuna sitting across from you with an unfairly soft look in his eyes whenever you got shy and toyed with your food.

and you were doing fairly well. right up until the date ended that is.

because now here you were, heart hammering violently against your ribs, butterflies wrecking your stomach as you hurried, nearly ran, toward your apartment door, leaving behind one very confused sukuna standing a few steps away.

which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the smoothest way to end a date with your boyfriend.

“oi.”

you froze with your hand on your purse, about to reach for your keys, head snapping up at his voice as he made his way toward you, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

you turned your head slowly, eyes trailing up his tall frame, though looking at him only made things worse; his pink, coral strands faintly glowing under the streetlight, tan skin catching the light, black markings accentuating the sharpness of his features.

yeah. you didn’t stand a chance.

“. . . what?”

he scoffed. “what?” he mimicked under his breath, head tilting slightly, eyes sharp and fixed on you. “you forgetting something?”

your brain only buffered, eyes darting between his face and everything else: left, right, anywhere but him. “no..?” — humming under your breath as you dug through your purse.

lip gloss.

receipt.

wires.

a sonny angel, for some reason . . ?

everything but your keys.

normally, you weren’t this awkward. you just weren’t used to this. dates with people you actually found attractive. emotionally. intellectually. physically. romantically. sexually—

“you regret comin’ out with me?”

oh . . . 

for a second you almost forgot he was there. well not really. sure, you tuned him out but you could definitely feel him. you could never really ignore ryomen sukuna; the sound of his breathing, the shift of his weight, his presence pressing against your senses, it was all there.

“what?” you blurted, finally looking at him in the eye.

sukuna leaned against the wall beside your door, pink hair shifting against his forehead, his expression unreadable, save for the faint amusement in his eyes.

“you heard me.”

your brows knitted together, mouth opening, then closing, before finally speaking: “no…”, your voice coming out a soft whisper.

his slitted eyebrow only cocked up at you, a faint laugh escaping his throat. “no?” the single word rolled off his tongue slowly, thick with amusement as he watched you, heat crawling higher up your neck under his stare, your movements growing clumsier the longer he looked at you.

“you’ve been diggin’ through that bag for, what, five minutes now. plus you nearly jumped outta a moving vehicle.” he continued lazily, pushing himself off the wall beside your door. “it makes a man wonder.”

“i’m not doing anything,” you said, quieter now, finally meeting his eyes for half a second before looking away again. “you’re the one who keeps staring me down.”

“mm,” he hummed, “so, lookin’ at you’s the issue.” his eyes flickering over your face once more, slow and unhurried. “that right?”

well, yes, that was part of the problem. but it wasn’t thee problem. because the actual problem was much worse. the actual problem was that you liked sukuna. like. like-liked. and he liked you too.

“well, no! i just—”　　 what an insufferable man. 　　“i really liked going out with you,” voice going a mile a minute before taking a deep breath, lacing your fingers together in front of you, fidgeting under his gaze. “i loved it.. actually.. i’m not trying to run from you or anything.”

“just nervous.”

“nervous?” he repeats after you, the word foreign on his tongue, “that’s what we’re callin’ it? you’re just embarrassed ‘cause you’ve got it bad for your boyfriend.”

your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, heat flooding your face all at once. “what?! no! don’t put words in my mouth.” you blurt, your hand flying up to shove his chest with a dull thud.

sukuna only lets out a low laugh before his hand comes up quickly to close around your wrist mid motion; his grip gentle but firm, holding you there as his other hand stays buried in his pocket. barely trying.

“so… you gonna say bye properly now?”

you gulp, your hand relaxing in his soft grip. “well… how do you want me to say bye?”

sukuna doesn’t answer, instead, he gently lowers your hand between you, scarlet eyes locking onto your softer, pliant eyes.

“your call.”

and the space between you two seems to freeze, soft silence of the night stretching between the two of you. easy on his end, unbearable on yours.

“w—well…” your eyes flick between his for a second before betraying you entirely, dipping down to his lips without meaning to. “i—” you huff. your throat feels dry, yet it feels unreasonable. sukuna wouldn’t judge you, you hope.

“i wanna kiss you… goodbye...”

“platonically,” you added after a moment.

. . .

his brows lifted slowly.

“you wanna kiss me. platonically?”

“um.” your voice came out smaller than intended. “yes.”

“yeah? and i’m sure those pretty little eyes of yours are lookin’ at me real platonically too.”

“that too.”

silence.

then sukuna hummed low in his throat, all amusement, already taking a step back.

“ah. got it.” he turned slightly, gesturing vaguely over his shoulder. “well, in that case— have a nice night.”

your eyes widened immediately. “wait—”

he kept walking.

not far. just enough to be annoying.

“sukunaaa,” you whined, hurrying after him before your fingers caught around his forearm, dragging him back to your doorstep. “not like that.”

a soft huff escapes him, his mouth quirking upwards, canines softly refracting the dim light — not quite a smile, but rather satisfaction. “hm?” he glanced down at your hand on his arm. “so now it’s not like that?”

your grip tightens for a second before you realize it and quickly loosen your hand, heat rushing straight to your face. “i—no, i mean—just—don’t pretend you don’t know what i mean…”

his gaze flicks over your face for a second, slow and unreadable, before he scoffs “you’re the one makin’ it complicated.”

“shut up,” you mutter instantly, but there’s no real bite to it, just embarrassment as you finally tug him a little closer.

his hand comes up, settling near your jaw, thumb resting against your warm cheek. your fingers catch lightly at the front of his shirt as you rise onto your toes.

before you could overthink, your lips meet his.

it’s quick. chaste. shy even.

his eyes flutter shut a moment after, his free hand coming out of his pocket to steady you by the waist, warm and heavy, yet restrained, seeping through your clothes.

he doesn’t kiss you back immediately, letting you mold against him. he tilted his head, lips pressing gently against yours; warm, and embarrassingly sweet.

you pull off his lips slowly, a hesitant look in your eyes, your breath catching lightly as you settle back down flat on your feet, hands still gripping the fabric of his shirt.

your heart was beating so hard you were sure he could hear it. did he like it? did he think you were a bad kisser? to be fair, you didn’t kiss many people. or often. but what if—

“hell,” he mutters, like he didn’t expect that, “you even kiss cute. kinda sweet.”

you pant, “what does that even mean?”

his gaze flicks back to your mouth and the slight furrow of your eyebrows.

the way your fingers still cling lightly to his shirt, the shy warmth clinging to your skin, even that stupid little clip tucked into your hair.

a quiet exhale leaves him through his nose, almost a laugh.

yeah. annoyingly cute.

“why’re you always askin’ obvious questions?”

“because youre always saying weird things,” you huff, “and you’re annoying.”

he lets out a soft laugh, leaning down slightly to your height. “i’m annoying?”

you only nod, biting down on the plush of your lip before looking away again, suddenly very interested in anything but him.

except before you could give an actual rebuttal, his lips meet yours deeper this time, no longer testing the waters. still gentle, but an unspoken certainty lingering in the way he kissed you. his mouth warm against yours, moving slow and unhurried, giving you all the time in the world to keep up, hell, even backout if you wanted to, the space between you disappearing.

his hand shifts from your waist up to your jaw, cradling your face and simply holding you in place for the moment. his other arm staying firm at your side, keeping you close without pulling too hard, steadying your wobbly steps against him.

you swallow down a gasp before your eyes slip shut, your nose bumping lightly against his, the angle a little awkward, a little clumsy, yet perfectly you.

it only makes him breathe out something softer against your mouth, amused, as if it’s exactly what he expected from you.

the kiss deepens for a few more seconds — slow, and warm — until it didn’t feel like teasing anymore. just a need held taut beneath careful restraint.

then he pulls back just slightly, just enough for air, his thumb still lingering at your cheek, in no rush to let you go.

“okay . . . was that . . a good goodbye?” you murmur, breathless, still a little dazed as you finally force yourself to step back.

he lets out a low “hm” under his breath, his thumb dragging lightly against your cheek. “yeah. it was good.”

“s’pose i can let you go now.” removing his hands from your sides, drawing a small, inward pout from you.

your hands went back to your purse, fingers already digging through it again—until sukuna stopped you.

“here.”

you pause.

and there they were.

your keys, dangling right in front of your face from his fingers with a soft jingle, cute, colorful keychains swinging in the quiet night air. you gasp before snatching them immediately.

“you bastard! you saw me looking for them!”

he lets out a soft huff of laughter, not even trying to defend himself. “you dropped them while you were busy runnin’ from me,” he hums, shifting his weight back against the brick wall beside him, a faint, sly smirk settling in on that stupidly handsome face of his, “when i asked if you forgot somethin’, you said no.”

you scoff before rolling your eyes, “well! i thought you were talking about saying bye?!”

his gaze flicks over you, steady and thoroughly amused. “two things can be true at once.”

you make a small sound of frustration and snatch the keys tighter in your hand, glaring up at him through your lashes anyway.

“…thanks,” you mutter.

“…go on,” he murmurs, voice low. “before i change my mind and keep you right here.”

and you knew he wasn’t joking. that man was about one breath from devouring you right then and there.

you turn quickly, fumbling with the lock, the soft jingle of your keys echoing in the stillness, his presence still radiating from behind you. his gaze dropped briefly to your hands . . .

“you alright?”

“yes.”

“you’ve missed your keyhole three times now.”

“i know!” you shoot back immediately.

the door unlocked with a soft click, warm light spilling out into the hallway.

“ okay . . . ” you hummed.

“okay,” he repeated, looking down at you expectantly, waiting for you to head inside.

but instead, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms tightly around his waist.

a low, rough laugh rumbled out of him before his arms circled around you instantly, strong biceps trapping your head against his chest. his scent, a deep, clean mix of cologne, so distinctly him, filling up your senses and making your head feel all dizzy.

despite his rough exterior, sukuna was soft, surprisingly so. maybe it was the steady weight of his chest against your body, or maybe it was the quiet way he held you that made it hard to think. either way.

you liked it.

you pulled away first with a small cough and an awkward straightening of your clothes, cheeks warm enough to burn through metal.

“okay! um— bye, sukuna,” you blurted awkwardly, already backing toward your apartment door.

except your shoulder clipped the doorframe on the way in.

“fuck—”

you fumbled with the handle in a panic before practically stumbling inside. “bye! goodnight!”

and then, you’re gone.

the door shutting a little too hard behind you, a muffled “ow!” coming from behind the door.

outside, sukuna exhales through his nose, shaking his head as the corner of his mouth curled upward.

“…yeah,” he murmurs to himself. “that tracks.”

self indulgent, reader is just me 🤣

[seellove]

I'm not on tumblr much at all (hence my empty acc lol) but I literally always come back to your fics they are so so comforting to me, so thank you for writing!! I appreciate you <3

AWW this is so sweet my goodness! 🥹 I’m so glad you enjoy and find comfort in my writing, that seriously means the world to me. Appreciate you SO SO much, thank you for taking the time to come leave such a nice message ❤️❤️

[bambismoon]

everything we didn't say - eight frat!kuna x childhoodbsf!reader

warnings | suggestive conent | jealousy (on both ends) | down bad sukuna but that's it rly

wc | 7k

series masterlist | previous chapter

☾

weeks passed and you and sukuna fell into a rhythm of sorts. 

something all too soft, almost domestic. 

your apartment and it’s warmth and pink hues slowly started to get overtaken by all things ryomen sukuna. which makes sense, as he barely stays at the frat anymore. 

his dark duffel bag sat abandoned beside your door, one of his hoodies was draped over the armrest of your couch and his blue toothbrush rested beside your own pink one. 

it was too easy, the way he’d forced your heart open and made a home inside. 

how he basically programmed butterflies to erupt in your stomach whenever the word baby left his mouth. how your toes instinctively curled whenever his hand playfully slapped your ass because he’d gotten you used to the sting in bed. 

sukuna was simply all consuming in a way that was so different than you were used to all those years. 

and you much preferred boyfriend sukuna over kinda-best-friend-kinda-something-more sukuna. 

“fuck are you doin’?” the familiar voice of your boyfriend permeated the expanse of your apartment as you balanced atop your counter, trying to reach a mug that you were sure he purposefully placed outside your vicinity.

it was your favorite striped mug and he loved when you asked him for help, better yet when he watched you struggle to reach your tip-toes, his shirt lifting to show the curve of your ass. 

except, he didn’t expect you to put yourself at risk for this stupid mug.

you huffed gently, hairline damp with your efforts as you glanced back at him. 

warmth spread upon your cheeks at the sight of his broad and sculpted body, still damp from the shower as his salmon locks released beads of water down his tan skin. a towel was wrapped low on his hips, tattoos peaking from his lower abdomen. 

he looked entirely too comfortable for a man who technically did not live here. 

you cleared your throat gently, flustered as you gazed back up at the mug, “i’m getting my mug which you always put on the top shelf!” 

you felt him before you heard him, his strong grip encompassing your hips as he held you effortlessly, pulling you up and off the counter as if you weighed nothing. 

“proof?” he rasped in your ear, still holding your smaller frame against his damp chest. 

you huffed, trying to pry his grip away, “the fact that i can’t even reach it, asshole!” 

sukuna merely nibbled on your earlobe, making you squeal gently, giggling as you shifted away from him. he didn’t let you get far, simply turning you around to cage you against the counter. 

you looked up at him, the man towering over you, his face so painfully handsome. 

a smirk painted his lips as he leaned down to murmur against your lips, “maybe if y’asked nicely, i’d help you.” 

you rolled your eyes despite the warmth crawling up your neck at his proximity, palms pressed against his damp chest in a weak attempt to create distance, “hate you.”

“yeah?” sukuna mused lowly, maroon eyes glancing over the expanse of your pretty face slowly, “that why your given’ me your fuck me eyes?” 

you gasped gently, face growing even warmer as you glared up at him, “i do not have fuck me eyes!” 

sukuna chuckled lowly, “yeah y’do, baby. trust me, i’d know.” 

you huffed, arms crossing as your gaze softened on him, “don’t be cocky, ryo.” 

his hand slid from your hip to the curve of your thigh, fingers squeezing once before he effortlessly lifted you back onto the counter properly this time. 

your breath hitched automatically as he stepped between your knees. 

you still weren’t used to just how big he was, how easily he handled you or how he always seemed to consume every inch of space around you without even trying. 

sukuna’s fingers brushed the hem of your-his-shirt absentmindedly, fingers grazing the soft skin of your thighs, warm against you as his gaze fixed on your plush mouth. 

“can i come to practice with you?” you questioned softly, arms locking around his neck as your nose grazed his. 

“absolutely not.” sukuna murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips which he tried to deepen before you pulled back with a huff. 

“and why is that?!”

you liked to show up to practice whenever your classes or labs finished early, stopping by to merely say hi or to drop off some food for sukuna. you were always met with the biggest scowl on his face, despite his apparent gratefulness. 

he’d always snake his arms around you, practically shielding you from the other boys as he mumbled empty threats of punishment in your ear. 

you always simply grinned up at him, gave him a kiss and walked away with an extra sway in your hips. he was very easy to piss off. 

“cause, baby, if i catch the guys lookin’ at ya, i’ll knock em out.” his voice was soft against you despite his harsh words, causing your eyes to roll gently. 

“psycho.” you muttered as sukuna smirked against you, hands squeezing the flesh of your hips once. 

“only for you, angel.”

with that, he finally reached above your head with ease, grabbing the striped mug from the shelf you’d been struggling with for the past five minutes. 

show off. 

he placed it in your hands carefully before his gaze drifted downward again, lingering over your face in a way that made your chest feel too full and all too warm.

weeks ago, that look would’ve scared you shitless. 

now, it just made you feel soft in places you didn’t know existed before him. 

you were convinced you’d never grow used to the way he looked at you. 

sukuna wasn’t soft in the obvious ways. he wasn’t poetic or overly affectionate or contantly trying to peel your emotions apart. he simply saw you. 

and somehow that felt infinitely more terrifying. 

you looked away from him first, huffing softly as you pushed at his chest again. 

“stop staring at me, ryo.” 

“nah,” he murmured instantly, nosing at your cheek, “my pretty girl.” 

“stop!” 

“cute.” he smirked gently, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose, then your cheek all the way to your jaw. 

you blushed softly, “shut up.”

his chuckle rumbled low in his chest then, warm and rough and unfairly attractive as he finally stepped back enough for you to breathe properly. 

you watched him move around your kitchen with familiarity that still startled you sometimes. 

your chest fluttered annoyingly at the sight. 

he looked like he belonged here, with you. 

“who’s starin’ now?” sukuna asked without even sparing you a glance as he prepared his protein shake. 

you blinked once “you have eyes at the back of your head or something?” 

“nah,” you could hear the smirk in his words, “just know when my girl’s lookin’. it’s like a sixth sense.”

your heart physically stuttered. 

“like spidey senses?” 

sukuna turned around, leaning back on the counter as he sipped his shake, still shirtless and damp. 

“sure.” 

you rolled your eyes. “well, spiderman, i have an hour till i have to leave for class.” you hopped off the counter and walked towards him, hips swaying gently as his eyes followed your movements, darkening significantly, “want you to fuck me, please.” 

you leaned up, lips brushing against his as he groaned lowly, shake abandoned on the counter as he immediately gripped your thighs and pulled you up and against him. 

you giggled against his neck as he walked towards the bedroom, gripping the towel around his waist and letting it fall against the carpeted floor.

yes, you much preferred boyfriend sukuna. 

☾

the frat house pulsed with noise, music bleeding through the walls violently enough to shake the floorboards while bodies crowded every inch of the living room. 

sweat and alcohol clung to the air. 

you could see gojo berating a pledge that had spilled jungle juice all over the kitchen tiles, white hair all disheveled and hands flying everywhere. 

you stood beside the kitchen counter nursing your drink while shoko rambled on about a boy from her lab who’d asked her out. 

you were only half listening, your mind mainly flooded with thoughts of your boyfriend who was still at the gym. the boyfriend who you told you wouldn’t attend the party. 

you wanted to surprise him and you hoped your tiny black dress would give him a semi-heart attack. affectionately, of course.

“he couldn’t even use the scale, it was such an ick!” shoko complained, taking a sip of her drink as you hummed at her words.

“are you even listening, lovergirl?” shoko waved her hand in front of your face, causing your gaze to meet hers, a small smile painting your lips. 

“yes, i am! that is such an ick!” you agreed as she merely hummed, eyes narrowed but all too amused. 

“right.” shoko grinned, “you are so on cloud 9 these past few weeks! ugh, i miss being in the honeymoon phase.” 

you giggled softly, heart warming as you swirled your drink around the cup in hand, “you have to actually give the guy a chance then, sho.” 

shoko grimaced, “no thanks.”

you shook your head softly, a small absentminded smile on your pretty face. 

shoko’s eyes immediately narrowed, “there it is again!”

your brows furrowed, “what?”’ 

“that stupid soft smile!” she pointed accusingly with her cup, cigarette balanced between her fingers, “you’ve been smiling at absolutely nothing for a while, it’s concerning!”

a scoff left you instantly, “i do not smile at nothing.”

“i literally catch you smiling to yourself, you weirdo.” 

“do not!”

“do too!” 

you rolled your eyes with a gentle huff despite the warmth creeping along your cheeks, taking another sip of your drink as shoko watched you with the smugness of someone who knew she was right. 

“god,” she muttered dramatically, “you two are so painfully gone for each other.” 

your stomach flipped annoyingly, that space behind your ribs clenching in appreciation. 

“i’m not gone for anyone, he’s obsessed with me.” 

shoko barked out a laugh loud enough to have a few heads turning. 

she was definitely tipsy by now. 

“that he is,” she giggled, “but you’re so in love with him, it’s sickening.” 

you shook your head immediately, trying to ignore the uncomfortable heat crawling beneath your skin. 

yes, you obviously loved sukuna, but truthfully, you two hadn’t said the words since the night of the confession. 

you tried not to overthink it, knowing sukuna gets uncomfortable with the mere concept, but you hoped he’d gotten over that with you. why couldn’t he say the words? 

to be fair, you hadn’t said them again either. it just felt…unnatural. 

you weren’t used to telling him you loved him, years of pure friendship ingrained in your very being. yes, you had gotten somewhat used to your new dynamic but not enough to just freely say the words whenever. 

but you found yourself longing to. when you ended a phone call, when you said goodnight, when he was so achingly thoughtful with you.

you wanted to tell him you loved him, but the fear of rejection, even now, ran deep.

before you could formulate a reply, you felt your skin prickle with awareness. 

you felt him before you saw him, that strange magnetic pull sukuna seemed to carry into every room he entered. 

shoko noticed your attention drift instantly and groaned dramatically, “here we go.”

your eyes lifted toward the front entrance automatically and there he was, fresh from the gym and looking unfair enough to make your heart physically stutter. 

a black compression shirt clung to every inch of his broad chest and arms, slightly damp around the collar from his shower while grey sweats hung low on his hips. 

his gym bag rested over one shoulder, salmon locks disheveled and still a bit damp.

he seemed out of place amongst the party goers, yet effortlessly blended in because it was him.

not to mention the scowl painting his tattooed face at the sea of people in his home. 

you almost grimaced when his eyes immediately landed on you. damn spidey senses. 

except the irritation faded from his face instantly, never fully but enough. always for you.

you watched it happen in real time, the subtle unraveling of ryomen sukuna the second his gaze settled on you. 

his shoulders loosened beneath the tight black fabric, jaw unclenching just slightly as his eyes dragged over your figure slowly, too slowly. 

your skin prickled beneath the attention, heat blooming under your little dress as his gaze traced every exposed inch of skin like the was committing it to memory. 

your thighs clenched as you waited for that spark of irritation and anger to paint his gaze, head tilting as his eyes met yours once more. 

and there it was. 

his gym bag slipped from his shoulder onto the floor near the entrance without a second thought, entirely forgotten as he made his way toward you through the sea of bodies. 

and people parted, of course they did, things always shifting on his command. 

it was almost fascinating, the way the room bent around him instinctively, like everyone understood on a subconscious level that he was not someone you stood in the way of, towering over everybody with his 6’4 stature. 

your breath caught softly as he got closer, finally reaching you. 

sukuna didn’t say anything at first, simply towering over you, broad and warm and devestatingly handsome as his eyes dipped over your form once more. 

the tiny straps over your shoulders, the expanse of your thighs, the curve of your body that fit that black fabric like it was carved specifically for you. 

his jaw ticked once. uh oh. 

“are you tryna piss me off?” he finally muttered lowly. there he is. 

you bit back a smile instantly, shoulders straightening as your head tilted innocently, “hello to you too, ryo.” 

his nostrils flared just slightly at your voice, eyes narrowing on your face, “answer my question, baby.” 

your brows furrowed mockingly, “course not. you seem upset.”

shoko snorted beside you into her drink as sukuna’s glare flicked towards her briefly, “oh stop with the caveman shit! she looks hot as fuck!” 

sukuna ignored her completely, gaze dropping back to your bare legs, the shadow of your collarbone with visible irritation simmering beneath his skin. 

you bit back another laugh. the irony of sukuna acting scandalized over a dress when he walked in like an actual slut wasn’t lost on you in the slightest. 

you scoffed once, arms crossing, “tell me i look pretty, ryo.”

sukuna’s expression darkened somehow but fuck, he couldn’t resist you. he was a strong man but not that strong.  

“prettiest girl in the room, baby.” 

your stomach flipped violently but your glare remained, “just the room? do you hate me or what?” 

sukuna began softening then, groaning gently as he took a step forward, caging you into the table, “fuckin’ brat. prettiest girl in the world, ever, baby.” 

your eyes brightened, grinning gently as your arms snaked around his neck, standing on your tip toes till your breasts pressed against his chest. 

the thing about sukuna is that he never sounded like he was joking when it came to you, not really. you were sure that he wholeheartedly believed his words. 

he looked at you like something precious despite the roughness around every edge of him, despite the dark history surrounding you both. like he genuinely couldn’t comprehend how other people were allowed to look at you too. 

his hand finally landed on your hip then, large and warm and possessive as always, fingers spreading against the small of your back before dragging you even closer to him, your feet dangling just a bit as a result of his desperation to get you close. 

the smell of his body wash and laundry detergent instantly enveloped you whole. 

he smelled like home. the realization struck you so suddenly, it almost hurt. 

sukuna felt like home, he always did. 

god, that was terrifying.

“miss me?” you questioned quietly, fingers curling against the front of his compression shirt. 

his eyes dropped to your mouth instantly, “like hell."

the answer came so naturally, so immediately, like he didn’t even have to think about it. 

your chest tightened embarrassingly fast, grinning softly at the man. 

shoko looked between you both before gagging loudly, “you guys are actually revolting.”

sukuna finally looked away from you long enough to glare at the girl, “leave then.” 

“gladly,” she scoffed before pointing at you accusingly, “you’re obsessed too, by the way.” 

heat crawled up your neck as shoko disappeared into the crowd with a grin. 

you turned back to sukuna only to find him already staring at you again. 

it was ridiculous really, the way such an intimidating man looked at you with so much undiguised want. 

his thumb brushed slowly against your waist beneath the fabric of your dress, “you lied.”

your brows furrowed instantly, “about?” 

“said you weren’t comin’.”

“surprise?” 

his eyes narrowed slightly before something softer flickered beneath the irritation. he was somewhat pleased. 

sukuna leaned down then, close enough that his lips brushed the shell of your ear as he muttered lowly, “almost gave me a fuckin’ heart attack walkin’ in lookin’ like this.” 

you grinned. you knew it. 

it was around two hours and a couple more drinks later that you began getting irritated. 

the girl was pretty, annoyingly so. 

all glossy lips and long legs and a familiarity you despised. 

that last part bothered you the most. 

the way she leaned against the couch on the other side of him like she’d done it before. the way she smiled at him without hesitation, the way her hand brushed his shoulder so naturally. 

like she knew what it felt like to touch him. 

fuck, it almost made you sick. 

your stomach twisted before you could stop it. you weren’t stupid enough to believe sukuna had spent the last ten years celibate and yearning for you while you both danced around your feelings like fools. you knew about the girls, hell, everyone did. 

still. he was your boyfriend now, your sukuna. 

and suddenly your chest felt too tight watching another girl look at him like she remembered having him first. 

“you’ve been ignoring me, kuna!” the girl pouted gently as sukuna barely looked at her, arm still heavy around your shoulders. 

“been busy.”

the girl teased, “too busy to answer a text?” 

your jaw clenched around the rim of your cup. 

utahime instantly noticed your annoyance from beside you, “you good?” 

you huffed gently, “m'great.” 

utahime grimanced at your slur, taking a sip of her own drink, as if in preparation for whatever the hell was going to happen. 

the girl giggled at something sukuna muttered then touched his arm again, something ugly flaring hot beneath your ribs. 

she looked comfortable touching him like she’d done it a hundred times before. and maybe she had. 

the thought made your stomach churn. 

you’d spent years pretending you didn’t want him while other girls got pieces of him you were all too afraid to ask for. and now that you finally had him, your brain genuinely did not know how to act normal about it all. 

why hadn’t he said he loved you again? 

sukuna’s gaze shifting straight to you, as if physically sensing your turmoil. 

his brows furrowed almost instantly at your little pout, as well as the evident irritation coming off you in waves. 

your gaze met his for a mere second before you looked away. bad move. 

suddenly, his hand was gripping yoru jaw gently, ignoring the girl beside him as she yapped about god knows what, forcing your attention back toward him while the party around you dimmed into background noise. 

“don’t look away from me.” 

you huffed, trying to move your face from his grip with no avail, “what?” 

his crimson eeys narrowed slightly, “why are you poutin’?” 

“i’m not.” 

“baby.” his tone was all low and knowing and you hated how easily he read you.

the girl beside him looked between you both awkwardly now, clearly beginning to realize that sukuna’s childhood best friend was not merely that, but clearly something more.

her chest flared with annoyance, whatever she hoped she had with him clearly didn’t compare to whatever this was. 

sukuna was looking at you with eyes so soft, she almost wondered if that wasn’t even him but some sick clone. 

“she’s annoying.” you admitted finally, huffing gently. 

sukuna blinked once, then once more. and suddenly, the corner of his mouth twitched upward. 

the asshole looked satisfied. 

“jealous?” he asked quietly. 

your face immediately heated, “shut up! no i’m not!”

his grin widened slowly, dangerously because after years of tension and bad timing and stolen glances, ryomen sukuna was finally seeing you jealous over him. 

and he looked like he wanted fucking frame the moment. 

“c’mere…” he muttered and before you could complain, he tugged you fully into his lap in front of all the prying eyes that were feasting on the vice president of alpha phi being absolutely gone for his girlfriend. 

a soft gasp escaped you, hands bracing against his shoulders as his eyes watched you with such gentleness, it made you ache. 

“why don’t you love me?” 

the words slipped out before you could stop them. soft, small and all too earnest. 

sukuna froze beneath you, hands tightening on your hips. 

the lazy amusement vanished from his face so quickly, the darkness almost startled you. 

suddenly, the room felt all too loud and the lights way too bright. 

regret filled you almost instantly. 

fuck, you’re gonna ruin everything!

your stomach twisted as realization crashed over you all at once because fuck, that sounded pathetic and fucking desperate. 

you tried pulling away, heat crawling violently up your neck, “forget i said that, m’just tipsy.”

sukuna’s grip tightened before you could run, “hey.” 

you refused to look at him now, gaze fixed somewhere over his shoulder as embarassement clawed beneath your skin. 

“baby, look at me.” 

you refused, huffing gently, “no.” 

his brows furrowed slightly at the genuine hurt dripping from the word. 

a moment passed in which neither of you spoke. the party blurred around you while sukuna stared at you like he was trying to peel apart your thoughts one by one. 

“where the fuck did that come from?” he finally questioned, thumbs digging into the flesh of your hips as you huffed once. 

“nothing-”

“don’t piss me off, baby.”

you looked at him then, eyes all wide and swimming with emotions, amongst them being an insecurity that stabbed him straight in the heart. 

“you only said it once.” the words left you softer than you intended, doe eyes still glassy and hazy from the multitude of drinks. 

sukuna blinked. 

“when we confessed that night,” you continued quietly, fingers twisting against the fabric of his shirt, “you haven’t said you loved me since then.”

understanding washed over his face instantly, followed by something heavier. 

you hated that expression. 

“forget it,” you muttered, “m’being stupid.” 

“no.” sukuna stated firmly, placing a large hand against the nape of yoru neck to pull your eyes back up to meet his own, “don’t do that, don’t push me away.” 

his other hand slid from your hip up your spine slowly, ever the grounding and steady hand you’ve fallen back on since you were younger. 

“and don’t say you’re stupid, baby…” 

your throat tightened just a bit. fuck. 

you really wished he’d stop looking at you like that, like you were something precious and worth it. 

you kind of longed for asshole sukuna in these moments because you knew how to deal with that version of him, but this soft and utterly yours version was still foreign to you. 

with a short grunt, he pulled you impossibly closer against his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head, so protective and all too possessive. 

“listen to me,” he began lowly, against your hair as you sighed softly, your heartbeat thumping unevenly, “i don’t say shit like that often.” 

your body instinctively attempted to pull back then, hurt flaring instantly but his grip only tightened.

 “let me finish,” your lips tightened, “you know me, i’m not good at all that emotional shit, but the one thing i’ve known since i was a fuckin’ kid is that i love you.”

guilt filled you instantly because you knew he did. 

he showed his love for you every day by knowing you so well, memorizing your eating habits, carrying you to bed when you slept while watching a show, the way he always murmured sweet nothings into your ear when he thought you were sleeping. 

he loved you in every language except verbally, you guessed. 

still, you wanted the words. you wanted to hear it. 

sukuna’s thumb brushed beneath your eye gently, “loved you for a long fuckin’ time.” your breath caught, the party noise dissipating entirely as he gazed up at you, “so don’t sit here askin’ me stupid fuckin’ questions like you’re not the reason m’even here.” 

your chest physically ached because you could tell every word was being dragged out of him raw, honest and utterly terrifying. 

“you’re it for me, told you that.” he muttered finally as you leaned into him and all that rooted insecurity sitting ugly and jagged beneath your ribs softened into something warm. 

“tell me again.” you whispered against his lips as the man’s lips twitched upwards with a small scoff.

“brat,” his hands gripped the plush of your ass then, pulling you into him even more, “i love you, baby.”

you grinned gently, leaning down to peck his lips once, “love you, ryo.” 

sukuna’s eyes darkened then, pulling you up as you squealed when he came to a stand. 

he was quick in carrying you up the stairs towards his room, “lemme hear you scream that, angel.” 

☾

the late afternoon sun bled gold across campus, warming the concrete beneath your shoes as students flooded out of lecture halls in exhausted waves. 

it was a rare sunny day and you lived for days like these. 

your own lecture had ended ten minutes ago but you were waiting for sukuna to finish up his practice so he could take you out. 

“it’s sunny today, ryo!” 

sukuna groaned beneath you, tattooed hands settling heavily against your thighs where you sat atop his chest, your apartment still warm with sleep and tangled sheets. 

sunlight spilled through the curtains in soft golden streaks, illuminating your face in a way that made his chest ache. 

you looked all too happy for it being six thirty in the morning, not that he’d complain because you looked so pretty, he felt it in his chest. 

“happy for ya, angel…” he muttered, eyes slipping shut again, attempting to go back to sleep despite you practically buzzing with glee atop him. 

you huffed softly, “don’t be miserable! look how pretty it is outside!”

sukuna’s eyes fluttered open just a bit, “m’lookin’ at somethin’ pretty already.”

your face heated instantly though your bratty expression remained intact, “cheesy.”

sukuna merely smirked lazily beneath you, fingers sneaking beneath the hem of his shirt that adorned your figure to press against the warm skin of your thighs. 

“go back to sleep.”

“no.”

“baby-”

“ryo!” you stated dramatically, collapsing fully against him now while he grunted, “take me out today.” 

one crimson eye cracked open slowly, almost dangerously, “told you i got practice.”

“and?” you questioned instantly. lifting your head to stare down at him with a pout, “practice ends.” 

sukuna stared at you blankly for a long moment, “where d’ya wanna go, baby?” 

you beamed down at him, “surprise me. that’s your job to plan our date.”

sukuan groaned lowly, hands cupping your ass with a gentle squeeze, “yeah?”

you nodded once, “mhmm. boyfriend duties.” 

“boyfriend duties.” sukuna repeated flatly, though his hands remained firmly on your ass beneath the fabric of his shirt. 

you nodded seriously, strands of hair framing your face as you looked down at him with entirely too much confidence for someone pinning a six foot four man to the mattress. 

sukuna’s eyes dragged over your pretty features, “y’r lucky you’re cute.”

“i’m lucky you’re whipped.”

a scoff left him once, “don’t start.” 

your grin widened knowingly because he absolutely was and he knew it himself. you had fundamentally altered this man. 

hell, he had a pink slip hair tie permanently around his wrist just in case you needed it because your hair overstimulated you sometimes. 

“pick me up after class?” you asked softer this time, tracing one of the tattoos along his neck and chest absentmindedly, “please?”

fuck. sukuna absolutely melted. he hated how weak he was for you. 

“yeah, baby,” he muttered lowly, hand sliding up your spine lazily, “i’ll pick you up.” 

you giggled at how soft his words left him. he was absolutely gone. 

which was exactly why sukuna was currently extremely tempted to keep his truck going and run the stupid basketball player speaking to you over.

sukuna sat behind the wheel of his truck now, jaw clenched hard enough to ache as he watched through the window. 

there you were, his girl, smiling softly up at the asshole who couldn’t take the fucking hint. 

fucking jean. again. 

the sunlight wrapped around you beautifully, you were so pretty, it genuinely made his ribs ache. 

you stood beside the steps of your lecture hall listening to whatever bullshit jean was spewing with that pretty smile on your plush lips that sukuna usually reserved for himself. 

his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. 

god, he despised jean. not casually either, but genuinely. 

mostly due to what happened at the game. he had taken you on a date, a real one. 

and he was openly practically obsessed with you. 

the worst part is that you actually gave the fucker a chance. sukuna remembered that vividly. 

he remembered your harsh words, your tears, the feeling of his knuckles splitting skin as they came in contact with jean’s face. 

the memory made something dark twist beneath his ribs every single time he recalled the ache in your face. 

and there jean was again, looking at you with those awful lovesick eyes once more. 

too interested and all too fucking comfortable. 

sukuna exhaled slowly through his nose before climbing out of the truck, frighteningly calm.

his shoes hit the pavement heavily as he made his way toward you both, broad shoulders cutting through the sea of students effortlessly while conversations dimmed around him instinctively. people moved for sukuna without even realizing they were doing it. 

like always, you felt him before you saw him, your eyes lifting first and immediately softening. 

fuck. that look alone soothed something violent inside of him. 

“ryo,” you brightened instantly, pretty face warming in a way that made his chest tighten painfully. 

jean noticed him a second later and visibly stiffened. 

good. 

sukuna stopped directly in front of you before one large hand settled low against your waist possessively, fingers spreading wide enough to nearly wrap around you entirely. 

ever the least subtle person ever, at least when it came to you. 

his thumb slide beneath the hem of your top just enough to brush warm skin and he physically felt himself calm down at the contact alone. his fucking girl. 

“hey, baby.” 

your cheeks warmed at the low rasp of his voice, “you’re late.” 

“my bad, angel,” he murmured against your hair as he kissed your head softly, “practice ran over.” 

his eyes flickered toward jean then, cold and disinterested. as if he was something unpleasant stuck beneath his shoe. 

jean held his stare this time though, jaw clenching slightly. 

“sukuna.” jean stated flatly as you glanced up at him, borderline nervously. 

“jean.” sukuna replieed just as flatly. 

the tension instantly thickened around you three. 

you sighed softly, hand on sukuna’s arm as you looked between them, “um, well, we should go.”

sukuna ignored you completely, his gaze remaining locked on jean’s face as memories flickered ugly beneath his skin. 

your tears, your shaky voice as you told him you were done. 

he remembered jean touching you that night, the way the rage physically blinded him. 

it was all irrational and violent, possessive in the ugliest way possible. 

and he’d do it all again. 

especially with the way jean was currently still looking at you.

sukuna’s jaw ticked once before his hand slid from your waist to your nape gently, fingers curling there possessively. 

“we were just talking about our lab.” you stated pointedly, hand squeezing his arm gently, already recognizing the dangerous look settling into your boyfriend’s eyes. 

“mhm.” sukuna barely heard you, arm pulling you impossibly closer. 

god, you could practically taste the testosterone surrounding you, causing a huff to leave your glossy lips. 

jean scoffed softly then, “you don’t have to explain to him.” 

your stomach dropped as sukuna’s eyes slowly shifted dangerously. 

“got somethin’ to say?” 

jean laughed humorlessly, “yeah, i got a lot to say. starting with the fact that she’s not your property.” 

silence hung between you, heavy. you immediately reached for sukuna’s wrist instinctively because you knew that tone in jean’s voice and you knew that look in sukuna’s eyes even better. 

“ryo,” you warned softly. 

sukuna barely acknowledged you, eyes still fixed on jean. 

“careful.” 

the word left him low and quiet, far scarier than him yelling. 

jean folded his arms across his chest stubbornly, “i’m just saying, man. she can talk to whoever she wants.” 

“she can.” sukuna agreed instantly, voice low and teetering on dangerous. 

jean looked off guard then as you sighed softly, still tugging on sukuna’s arm slightly. 

sukuna’s hand remained against the back of your neck while the other slid into the pocket of his sweats casually.

“problem is,” sukuna continued quietly, eyes unwavering now, “you don't get the fact that she’ll choose me.”

your breath caught as jean’s jaw clenched. 

“every single time.” sukuna twisted the knife, tilting his head almost mockingly. 

there it was, that awful confidence. 

because sukuna knew how you felt for him, that you looked for him first in every room, knew your body instinctively gravitated towards him like a magnet. 

he knew you’d chosen him after years of almosts and fears and what ifs. 

and now that he finally had you, he was never letting anyone question where you belonged again. 

especially not fucking jean. 

you felt heat crawl violently beneath your skin as sukuna leaned down slightly, mouth brushing near your temple, “ready t’go, angel?” 

his voice softened instantly for you and you alone, as it always did. 

you swallowed softly before nodding once. 

jean looked genuinely sick watching the switch in sukuna. 

how he went from something brutal and territorial to soft devotion the second his gaze landed on you. 

sukuna didn’t glance at him again after that because as far as he was concerned, he was done. 

you were his and he’d be damned if jean, of all people, questioned that. 

☾

today was the worst day you'd had in a while.

your presentation had lasted nearly forty minutes, your professors interrupting every two seconds to ask questions while your group members stood there like fucking decoration. 

by the end of it, your feet hurt, your throat was dry and your brain physically felt like mush. 

which is exactly why you ended up dragging yourself towards the alpha phi house instead of your apartment. you wanted sukuna.

you barely even texted him beforehand. 

brat: presentation done. alive unfortunately. 5:02pm

his response came immediately despite the fact that he was supposedly at the gym. 

ryo: proud of you angel. i’ll leave now then just wait in my room. 5:02pm

your chest warmed stupidly. 

god, you’d become pathetic over this man. 

the frat house was unusually calm when you entered, music low somewhere upstairs while the living room glowed softly beneath the late evening light filtering through the windows. 

and there they were, gojo and geto sprawled across opposite couches with abhorrent postures. 

“absolutely not.” suguru stated flatly as gojo groaned dramatically. 

“you’re no fun!” satoru groaned, snowy hair messy as the controller rested on his shirtless abdomen. 

your tired laugh escaped before you could stop it and immediately, two heads turned tward you. 

satoru’s face lit up first, “look who it is! the reason why our vice president has been unusually calm and tolerable the past few weeks!” 

“shut up.” you murmured, kicking your shoes off near the door before collapsing onto the couch beside suguru. 

geto snorted softly as your eyes shut in exhaustion, “dead?” 

“yes.” 

“dramatic ass.” gojo scoffed as he sat upright finally, sock-covered feet landing against the floor before his bright eyes narrowed at you thoughtfully. 

“says you!” you retorted with a scowl as satoru rolled his eyes, huffing as he gazed at the brightness of the tv once more. 

“ignore him,” suguru began, “he’s sulking.” 

“am not!” gojo glard at his friend as your brows furrowed gently. 

“why are you sulking?” you questioned, sitting up slightly as gojo groaned causing suguru to laugh. 

“the girl he likes genuinely hates him.”

gojo grunted with a sharp glare, “she does not hate me!” 

suguru gave you a look as you laughed softly, “oh my god, i didn’t know you could even have feelings for a girl!”

“shut the fuck up!” gojo demanded as you and suguru laughed like children. 

a moment of silence passed, the sounds of the boys’ fingers against their controllers halfway lulling you to sleep. 

“so, how is dating the mighty ryomen sukuna?” 

your half lidded eyes narrowed on suguru at his words as his attention remained on the game before him. 

“why do you wanna know?” 

“because he’s insane.”

your eyes rolled immediately, letting your head drop behind you as exhaustion pulled at your bones even deeper, “breaking news.” 

“but,” suguru began, adjusting his posture, “like clinically.”

you scoffed softly though warmth crept beneath your skin anyway, “he’s normal.” 

both men stared at you blankly before simultaneously bursting into laughter.

you frowned instantly, lifting your head again, “he is!” 

“princess,” satoru wheezed dramatically, “that man almost broke a pledge’s wrist yesterday when he touched your laptop.”

your stomach flipped annoyingly, “it has important stuff on it.” 

“like nudes?” satoru’s eyes brightened as you gasped gently. 

“no, pervert!” 

“it’s actually disturbing watching him these days," suguru continued calmly, ignoring his friend, “you know he leaves practice early now?” 

you blinked, “no he doesn’t.”

“he does,” satoru grinned wickedly, "he’ll show up earlier to finish the drills cuz m’not gonna leave my girl alone. direct quote, by the way.” 

your face heated instantly, “he did not say that.”

“word for word.” suguru confirmed with a nod as you huffed. 

you physically hid your face back into the couch while both men laughed at you, “you’re both liars.”

satoru laughed even harder at your blush. 

there was something oddly fond about your friends nowadays whenever they looked at you, like they’d witnessed a long slow burn finally reach it’s inevitable conclusion.

which honestly made sense because no one had suffered through your mutual pining more than your friends. 

before you could reply, footsteps echoed towards the living room where you were. 

“the fuck is that smell, satoru?!” 

your lips curved immediately before you even saw him. 

sukuna appeared moments, black sleeveless shirt clinging damply to his broad chest while his gym bag rested on his shoulder.

his crimson eyes found you instantly, always. 

and just like that, his scowl softened.

fuck, it did something violent to your chest every single time. 

“brat.” 

you smiled sleepily at him, “hi, ryo.” 

 he dropped his gym bag to the floor and crossed the room in seconds and on the way, he smacked the back of satoru’s head hard enough to echo. 

“OW! what was that for, you psychopath!” 

“whatever stupid shit you told her.” sukuna answered flatly before crouching beside the couch in front of you. 

saturo rolled his eyes but shrugged, "fair."

his large hand slid beneath your jaw gently, tilting your face toward him while his eyes scanned you carefully. 

the exhaustion clinging to your lids, the slightly smudged makeup and his expression softened even further somehow, your adorable sleepiness tugging on his heartstrings. 

“presentation done?” 

you nodded once against his palm, “mhmm.” 

“how’d it go?” 

“think i blacked out halfway through.” 

a low amused huff left him, “bet y’still did good.” 

your eyes fluttered slightly at the praise alone. 

god, you were exhausted enough that even his mere affection felt overwhelming. 

sukuna noticed instantly, “c’mere.” 

before you could even process it, one arm slid beneath your knees while the other wrapped around your back, lifting your effortlessly from the couch. 

you gasped softly out of instinct before immediately melting against him anyway as sukuna adjusted you against his chest like you weighed absolutely nothing. 

“spoiled ass.” satoru muttered fondly from the couch, almost longingly. 

not longing for you, but for that. for what you and sukuna had. 

god, who was the girl who had him this messed up?

“don’t talk to these losers again.” sukuna grunted as you smiled sleepily, your tired face buried into the warmth of his neck while he carried you toward the stairs. 

behind you, satoru watched with a soft look in his bright eyes while suguru snorted quietly beside him. 

“he’s pathetic.” suguru claimed as satoru sighed once. 

“yeah.” 

meanwhile, sukuna had rested you softly against his bed before leaning over you, “you’re gonna hate me, baby, but y’need to take your makeup off or you’ll kill me in the mornin’.”

you groaned instantly but allowed him to carry you into the bathroom. 

then you allowed him to do everything else, taking care of you like he’s already been doing since you were teenagers. 

“love you, ryo…” you muttered as he prepared the bath how you liked, leaning over the tub. 

just as he heard your words, his face tilted up, a panty-dropping smile painting his lips, “i love you, angel.”

yes, you decided, you could get used to this.

☾

an | more of a fluff filler chapter before the heavy plot next chapter yall r not readyyy !! anyways FINALLY i almost died when i realized the last update was in feb omg ewds girls im sorry 😔

as always lmk what u thinkkkk and lowk lmk if u like more angst or fluff cuz ewds was v angst heavy in the beginning so im tryna balance it out

[indiewritesxoxo]

no. one party anthem

track twenty-four: i want you | prev track< | setlist

three rockstars! one you!

synopsis: your best friend has always been an asshole - whether it's in his band or in his bed. him ditching you? nothing new. but when one bedroom door closes, another one opens

pairings: rockstar!Suguru Geto x f!Reader x childhood fwb!Sukuna (+ rockstar!gojo!!)

content: mdni, angst and fluff, rockstar au!, complicated relationships and messy emotions, avoidant attachment, HEAVY PINING AND YEARNING, denying feelings, reader is a mess, sukuna is desperately trying to win her back lmfao, protective men, emotional hurt, not much comfort to be found in this one, therapy

a/n: art by @winterrbluess !! div by @/anitalenia

"It's always good to see you, Sukuna."

Yeah, you were pretty sure his therapist was the first person to ever say that to him.

But you kept your mouth shut, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, one leg folded on top of the other as your stare shifted from your best friend to the man he'd brought you to see.

"How's Muffin doing?" He followed it up, leaning forward with a notepad in his lap, as if he wasn't being paid to inquire about his life.

"She's fine," Sukuna gruffly responded, pulling out his phone - and opening up his photos, proudly pulling up a photo of a fluffy gray cat mid-yawn.

Sukuna. The cat dad.

It didn't make any sense.

Nothing did.

"What are you going to do with Muffin when you're on tour?" You spoke up, fiddling with your painted nails as you looked down at your lap.

It came out kind of snappy. More than you meant it to.

"I'm not going on tour."

Your head snapped up. The shield you shined just for today cracking not even two minutes in as your throat threatened to shut.

"You're going on tour," you said, clinging to it like an idiot. Because deep down, despite how much he was trying to change, it was hard not to see Sukuna as a rockstar first. Everything else second.

He went on tour after every album.

Once this one was out, he'd be gone again.

"I'm telling the label no next week," he shrugged. "I don't give a shit if they don't sign us again."

Us.

Of course he was only acknowledging the band as more than just him when he was being what? Stupidly stubborn? Selfish?

“Why the fuck would you do that?” You blanched.

“I’m not leaving you,” the stubborn asshole insisted.

No.

This wasn’t what you wanted at all. It never was.

You felt like you were going to puke, a lump forming in your throat as you blinked at him in disbelief.

"Do not put this on me," you shook your head, ignoring the way his therapist tried to speak up, to prevent your bickering before it really got started. “What about Choso? Yuki and Uruame? They’ll be-”

“You can’t seriously think I care more about them than I do about you,” Sukuna scoffed, his jaw set in a tight line as his dark stare seared into your side.

“Like you were even willing to admit you cared about me at all six months ago,” you muttered under your breath, that bitter pill still lodged in your airway no matter how many times you tried to swallow it.

“Okay, I think we should take a step back here,” the therapist managed to interrupt, loudly clearing his throat as you turned your attention out the window. Rain was falling, droplets racing down the pane as you picked at a stray thread of the couch someone else’s anxious hands had already worked undone.

You knew you should be trying harder for this.

That therapy only worked if you were willing to try.

But you’d been so stuck in all this muck, sucked down deeper the more you tried to squirm your way out of it, you couldn’t even tell which way was up anymore. Searching for any sign of familiarity when everything had already changed without you.

What if all there was for you to figure out here was that they’d left you behind?

Suguru would learn his lesson and treat his next girl better. Satoru would find someone who could return all his love.

And Sukuna would fix himself just to find out he never needed you at all.

“Do you want Sukuna to go on tour?” His therapist softly prodded you, snapping you out of your spiraling.

“I don’t know,” you defensively answered, too on edge to match his polite tone.

“How does him staying make you feel?” He questioned, and you could only shrug your shoulders.

“Don’t be like that,” Sukuna grumbled, and you shot him an annoyed glare.

You were only here because of him.

Was that not enough to see you were at least trying?

“It makes me feel irritated, I guess,” you begrudgingly admitted. “Like he’s throwing away everything he's ever given a shit about when I never asked him to.”

You wanted to be included. To be a part of his life and not a piece of furniture in it. To be there by his side when he succeeded.

Not have him give it all up just so the two of you could make each other miserable just for the slim chance you managed to work out.

"I'm not-"

"He always makes these dumbass decisions without me and just expects me to go along with whatever it is," you added, ignoring him next to you as you finally met his therapist's gaze.

He had introduced himself when you first walked in and you hadn't really paid any attention to it, a twinge of guilt seeping through at the amount of understanding behind his eyes.

"So you feel left out," he concluded, and you immediately revoked your remorse.

"No," you lied, a traitorous little huff escaping your lips.

"That's not what I'm trying to do," Sukuna argued, seeing through your shit. "I, fuck, I just want to be here for you, okay?"

You wanted to accept that.

So so so badly.

That piece of your heart that had belonged to him from the start was already trying to tug you towards him, begging you to just stop being a brat and go back to being his.

But you weren't the girl you'd been before.

Not the one who warmed his bed or waited for him after his shows or wished for a happy ending.

And you no longer knew if you'd ever be able to be the partner he needed.

Shouldn't he be with someone he wouldn't have to cancel tours for? Someone it didn't hurt him to want? Someone who wouldn't wreck the world he worked for?

"What happens when you wake up a few years from now and realize that you shouldn't have stayed? Or when we break up?" You argued, getting the awful sense it would be the last time you'd be asking either question. "You're going to resent me."

"For fucks sake, I'm not," he flat-out denied it, annoyance creeping into his harsh features at the fact he had to say it.

But it didn't make you feel better.

What were you supposed to say to make him see what you meant?

"All we've done lately is make each other's lives worse," you muttered.

Your sex tape was leaked. He assaulted your ex-boyfriend. You slept with your ex's best friend. He was cancelling his tour.

This wasn't sustainable.

God, he'd even gone and bought you a fucking apartment like the guilt of fucking Satoru was still burned into your skin.

"You have been the only light in my entire life," Sukuna half-growled, reaching across the couch to grab your hand, his calloused fingers gripping you like he needed you to believe him too.

You hated yourself for not being able to.

For thinking of all the times you'd seen him smile at someone else, or smirk up on an illuminated stage, hearing his voice calling out to an adoring crowd. Knowing that you only got the pieces of him he chose to gave you and being okay with it for so fucking long.

And because you had a habit of making every situation infinitely more terrible, you directed your attention back to the therapist who felt a lot more like a referee as you stiffly rolled your shoulders back.

"Did he tell you about my sex tape?"

The next four seconds could probably get an award for the most awkward silence imaginable, you staring at the therapist, who was looking over at Sukuna, who was surely scowling at you.

"Do you think that's seriously relevant right-

"I mean, I just wanted to know how much he already knew," you bickered back, trying to sneak your hand away from his only for him to hold on tighter.

"I would prefer if we stopped interrupting each other so we can have a more, ah, productive conversation," his therapist piped up.

Your skin was itchy.

Invisible bugs crawling over it that you were desperate to scratch and peel off, every word exchanged and sentence that sunk in just making all of it more unbearable.

Familiar indecision crippling you, twisted and contorted as you tried to resist falling into the trap of falling for Sukuna again and refusing to let yourself get hurt by him.

Were you just going to lose in the end either way?

"Do you think this, uh, sex tape is going to be an issue if you resume a relationship with Sukuna?" The therapist continued, and you at least knew the answer to that one.

"Yeah," you muttered, loathing the defeat in your voice.

"Why is that?"

Because it'll be over the day he watches what's on it?

That was it, wasn't it? What everything boiled down to?

Your own fear that if you accepted his love, he'd take it back the second he saw another side of you.

"Are you scared to say it?" His therapist unhelpfully prodded, and you had the distinct feeling of your heart being dissected. Layers of you peeled back and pried open until they were watching it beat and bleed.

"Whatever's on it, I-"

"You'll hate me," you murmured.

Oops. You guessed you interrupted him again.

"I'm not going to hate you," he insisted, and without even looking to your right, you could picture his expression. The gritted teeth, the grim stare. Eye twitching as he restrained himself from rolling them.

"I told Suguru I loved him in it," you confessed, as if that was the worst of your crimes.

Sucking on the inside of your cheek as you stared down at your bare wrist. Aware of the bracelet that had been stolen from you.

Torn away like your chance of a happily ever after.

"Sukuna," the man across from you evenly spoke, maybe sensing the tension crackling between you as your words sank in for him as he scribbled something down on the paper in his lap. "Does that change how you feel? Or-"

"It just makes me hate him more," he grumbled, and you shrunk closer to the edge of the couch. But what he said next just left you wishing you'd never shown up at all, "Makes me hate myself more too."

"Why do you think that is?"

You shouldn't be here.

You shouldn't hear this.

"Because she never would've fallen in love with him for the first place if I hadn't been such a dickhead in denial when I had her," Sukuna snapped, his raw voice threatening to crack. "It's my fault she even met him."

"You can't blame yourself for everything," his therapist tried to reassure him, but you were casting a cautious glance over to see Sukuna scratching the back of his hair with an emotion that looked a lot like shame on his face.

So distracted by how foreign it felt to see him like this, your brain didn't even realize the man across from you was speaking to you until he repeated his question.

"Is there anything you feel that you might be culpable for here too?"

A lot?

It would be a pretty long list if you started just naming off every messy thing you'd done since you decided you were done sleeping with Sukuna.

"This is a safe place where you can be honest and we'll work through it," he added, offering you a smile that actually seemed sincere.

Your lips slowly began to part, ready to just ruin it all. Put it all on the table and lose if you had to.

At least you wouldn't be in this limbo anymore.

"I had sex with Satoru," you admitted, hot tears you hadn't been expecting starting to well up before you blinked them back. "He was there in the tape too, but uh, we didn't really do anything until he showed up on vacation."

"You slept with Gojo?"

And there it was.

The rage.

You'd spent years trying to tame him, dousing him in water before his flames could turn into wildfires.

But maybe you were just fueling it.

"We were both drunk and just having fun, and I don't know, I asked him to come inside my room," you offered an explanation, not sure if it was even owed or if you were throwing gasoline on him once again.

"What the fuck?" He hissed.

You waited for him to say he was going to murder or maim Satoru, to make threats or ask what the hell were you thinking.

To ask why.

"I'm sorry," you swallowed your pride, offering a pitiful bob of your shoulders. "I know we're not together but it was still shitty of me to do."

Sukuna wasn't your boyfriend.

He'd never been your boyfriend.

But you weren't stupid enough to think that it made what happened totally fine.

Completely forgivable.

And maybe, some part of you didn't want him to forgive you.

Craved to not have to make the hard choice at all and force him to do it for you. To abandon you the way you had always suspected he would.

"Why would you-"

"It seems to me that you're trying to sabotage your relationship with Sukuna by sleeping with someone you know would upset him," the therapist hummed, and you faltered.

Physically flinched as you reflexively itched to reject it.

Yet you couldn't.

Just sitting there like an idiot and blinking back.

"You're scared of being with him."

You were.

But did he have to actually say it out loud?

You were bending over to snatch your bag from the floor rather than deal with it, ignoring both of them saying your name as you started towards the door, shoving it open and leaving rather than hear them break down all your inner thoughts.

If your head was clearer, not so clouded and stuffed full with him, you might've figured you wouldn't have made it out of the building without Sukuna catching up to you.

He grabbed your hand right as you reached the door, trying to stop you from going, but you just shook him off, stepping out into the rain as he followed suit.

“Can you please stop for a second?” Sukuna groaned, and you were once again reminded of another night you’d been shoving down.

One where you asked him if he loved you and he couldn’t answer.

“I don’t want to talk right now,” you childishly mumbled, convinced that if you do, you’d start crying, and if you crumbled, you’d let him console you.

“Then I will,” he stubbornly insisted.

The immature urge to cover your ears and pretend you couldn’t hear him was incredibly tempting, but you just paused in place, limbs threatening to tremble as the rain soaked through both of you.

"Just forget about the fucking past," he scoffed, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around practically straight into his chest. “Can't this be enough? Can't I be enough?"

"How am I supposed to forget?" You retorted, poking a finger against his annoyingly firm muscles as you tried to pull back. "You don't get it. I literally lost everything, I-"

"I lost you," he snarled. "The albums, the money, the fame, they’re nothing to me.”

Now.

Why couldn’t he have realized that a year ago and saved you both the heartbreak?

“You’re my everything, okay? What the hell do I have to do? Get on my knees for you? Carve out my fucking heart and hand it over on a silver platter?” He was rambling, raindrops clinging to his lashes as he grabbed your finger and pulled it down.

“You’re supposed to be mad at me. I fucked Satoru while you were out buying me a beautiful apartment. Shouldn’t you be like, shouting or screaming, or something?” You argued, a fresh stab of hurt joining the rest seeing the way he recoiled from you when you pointed it out.

“So what?” He tried to sound tough.

Like he didn’t care when he so clearly did.

“Maybe you should watch the sex tape,” you shrugged, struggling not to shake, to be strong enough to say everything you needed to say. “See if you still think you love me then.”

“Stop saying shit like that,” he snapped, and it just made you more sure of your suspicions. “You are sabotaging us.”

“I think I need some more space,” you mumbled, knowing he was right and still refusing to admit it.

“You’re just running away from me. And I’ll be back at home tonight wondering whose fucking arms you’re in and why they’re so much better than mine,” he accused, finally letting a hint of that anger out. You felt a tiny hint of pride, knowing that he was finally getting the full experience of what he put you through for years.

But the truth was you were running away.

Avoiding him to avoid hurting yourself any more.

You only seemed to hurt him more when you were with him anyway.

Without you, Sukuna was doing great. He’d always been perfectly fine to fend for himself.

You didn’t want to stick around for when the sentiment wore off and it struck him you were the source of all his woes.

“Don’t be an idiot. Go on tour. Be there for the band,” you added, resignation replacing your regret as you sold yourself another half-truth that you were doing what was the best for both of you.

“Come back inside so we can actually talk about it,” he said, teeth gritted.

“I can’t,” you swallowed, shaking your head.

The idea of turning around and walking back into the building was too much. Sniffling as you wiped a wet streak from your face.

“I miss being your friend, but I really don’t know how to be anything with you right now,” you confessed, pulling yourself away from him even if it felt like you were cutting some heavy invisible cord connecting your soul to his.

It was selfish.

Impulsive.

Acting like a scared child ducking under a table just from a thunderstorm, before any lightning had even struck.

But it was the truth.

You loved Sukuna.

You just didn’t want him to destroy himself by trying to love you back.

He had been enough for you.

But now you weren’t good for each other.

He didn’t follow you this time.

Didn’t trail after you when you stormed off.

Sukuna let you go.

You didn’t stop until you were several blocks away, the drizzle from earlier turned into a torrential downpour, hair soaked and sticking to your face as you struggled to contain your tears.

How the fuck were you supposed to go back to the apartment he bought you?

Go sleep in that bed or curl up under the covers when you’d be seeing that haunted hurt look on his face every time you closed your eyes?

They were right about you.

You wished you were different.

Wished you could just be okay with all of it and pretend to be totally fine moving forward instead of standing on the sidewalk completely soaked as you stifled sobs.

Someone passed by under an umbrella, their shoulder nearly knocking into you as you looked up just in time to see them snickering and snapping a photo.

Disgust coiling bright and hot and unbearable at the realization this stranger had seen you naked - and now had the audacity to laugh at you for it.

Rather than panic, you reacted on impulse, taking the phone out of the dickhead’s hand and throwing it onto the concrete before stomping on it for good measure. Glaring right back at him as you dug the base of your foot into the shattered glass as you forced the lump back down your throat.

“I think you dropped that.”

“You fucking whore-”

Yeah, you were sure people were saying worse online.

But nothing could really compare to leaving someone you loved behind because you were too fucking terrified to let them love you too.

You shut him out the way you just shut Sukuna out.

Walking without really thinking until your teeth were chattering and it hit you that you weren’t sure where you were anymore.

Déjà vu washing over you as you looked up at the stormy sky, bottom lip quivering as you pulled out your phone to call the same person you had last time.

Suguru.

a/n: not gonna be online much in the next couple days but hope you guys enjoyed this

taglist: @universal-s1ut @lavenderdaydream97 @nylve @cashshiii-blog @inthedarkshadows000 @adiantumvenustum @chsuguru @pnkblueberry @byerno6 @favvkiki @sugurusfavemonkey @kindadolly @sillymortalblob @starmapz @apchmon @chaoticgood-munson @nymphsdomain @fire-pirhana-plant @msheds0519 @aldebrana @xixflower @mitsuyq @moncher-ire @ssetsuka @beepbeepyddgjj @d3ad-ins1de @lauuriiiz @levislug @nonamevenus @vertigoswan @mortallyshadysoul @dazaisfavgf @sugucultfollower @seellove @thelightknight21 @insomniakookies @surgeonsofazeroy @sugusmonkeyy @ratedrrrr @elukewarm @madisonmonroexx @alt--er--love @swtbckyboo @dear-fifi @gojosfiance @skyxxx17 @theogborjie @evilari111 @disappointedpeaches @beautiful--macabre

[seellove]

husband!Sukuna x reader

Insecurity strikes after becoming a new mom when your normally horny as fuck husband hasn't tried to lay a finger on you since having a baby.

WC: 1.6k. TW: pregnancy and babies, suggestive at the end

“Okay, she’s down,” your husband sighs, shutting your bedroom door behind him. He briefly glances your way as he tugs his faded t-shirt off and tosses it on the floor. 

All these years later and the sight of the black ink winding across his toned body still takes your breath away. He’s always been hot with his shredded physique and tattoos that seem to accentuate every dip and valley of those muscles.

But nothing could have prepared you for how you’d feel seeing him be a dad. 

His unwavering confidence and arrogant demeanor was what he was known for, and a part of you loved that about him. He’d never back down from a challenge, always willing to put in the work to learn and succeed at anything. 

Even parenting.

The first time he went to hold his newborn daughter was one of the few times you’d ever seen him hesitate.  However, since that moment, he took every chance he could to secure her in his arms, determined to rid himself of whatever trepidation plagued him that day. Holding her in different ways and angles, loosely, tightly, trying anything and everything to learn what this little brat preferred.

He’d be damned if he ended up like one of those men who expected their woman to do everything just because he was “uncomfortable” or “not maternal.”

“I’m not some weak-minded man,” he’d spat at one point when you’d said you could take over if he felt unfit to do a task. “I’ll figure it out and get over it. No weaponized incompetence here.”  

Attraction to him that you thought has plateaued only swelled during the last four months.

But, lately you’d wondered if his attraction for you had tapered off. Historically, he’d never been able to keep his hands off of you…even while pregnant he’d happily obliged when your sex drive was insatiable.

It didn’t help that you felt like a stranger in your own body. You couldn’t miss the stretch marks that stared back at you every time you got changed and the extra weight that hadn’t seemed to budge still kept you in clothes that were larger than the pre-baby days. 

The doctors had cleared you to be intimate months ago and you were fully expecting him to jump you that night. All you’d heard about was women complaining that their husbands were badgering them for sex, but yet, yours never initiated. Your husband seemed perfectly content to abstain. In fact, you have never once detected a hint of resentment from him.

Hell if anything your boobs were bigger than ever considering you were breastfeeding. He’d still snuggle and hold you, but his hands never wandered and his kisses never pushed the limits.

Even if you weren’t feeling up to it, it would still be nice to feel wanted. Desired.

Sukuna sets up the baby monitor on his nightstand before flopping down next to you.

“Did she go down okay?” you ask.

“Kinda. We’ll see, she seemed a little restless but after a few laps around the house she fell asleep in my arms,” his deep voice answers, turning to look at the monitor as if to reassure himself of his answer. 

Sleeping peacefully, just like he expected.

Sukuna picks up his book from the nightstand, scooting closer to you and propping himself up against the headboard. The heat of his muscular arm against yours made your skin prickle, but other than that, you go back to reading your own book.

You try to keep your mind from spiraling back to that dark place of insecurity, but after reading the same page three times, you realize it's hopeless. Closing your book, you lay it back on your nightstand.

Laying in silence, you feel your mood start to deteriorate.

“Are you still attracted to me?” you blurt out after a few moments.

You’re met with silence at first and you begin to panic, regretting speaking such a thing out loud!

But then the fabric of his pillow rustles as he turns his head. You’re met with a pair of narrowed, crimson eyes and a furrowed brow that you can’t interpret as annoyance or confusion.

“What?” he mutters. 

You just stare back at him, trembling at the intensity in his stare. He can be an intimidating and scary man, normally not to you, but you’ve seen others cower in his presence.

“Answer me, what did you say?” he presses, closing his book and tossing it aside.

“I said, are you still attracted to me?” your voice wavers just a little.

“Of course I am, you’re my wife-”

“That makes it sound like an obligation,” you interrupt him.

Sukuna scoffs, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on one arm. The tattoos on his torso are tight against his pecs, looking hotter than ever as the sheets pool around his waist.

“What is this nonsense you’re spouting at me?” He sounds irritated now. “Out with it, stop these cryptic messages because even though I’m an elite sorcerer, I can’t read your mind woman and you know this.”

Swallowing hard, you start fidgeting with the blanket, pulling it even tighter over you like it’ll somehow protect you from your husband's directness.

“You haven’t tried to have sex with me once since the baby was born. It’s weird and very unlike you. Including the difficult end of my pregnancy, it’s been over five months now. When have you ever gone five months without anything sexual since knowing you?” 

He just stares at you, jaw clenching as his mouth forms a tight line.

“I mean, I get it, I look so different now compared to before, and I realize I haven’t exactly been keeping up with my appearance. I understand if it’s not what you prefer for a woman, you’re such an attractive man and you deserve better and-”

He’s on top of you so fast that you feel his weight on you before you even see him move. Fucking sorcerer speed of his.

“You think I’m not attracted to you? Think I haven’t been wanting to fuck your brains out this whole time?” he growls, barely moving his lips as he speaks through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry! You look mad now,” you squeak in surprise before he cuts you off again.

“Yeah, not at you though. Fuck, never you,” his voice softens, brushing the back of his hand against your cheek with utmost tenderness.

“At myself,” he mutters, lowering his gaze for a brief moment before looking at you again.

Your throat feels dry as you swallow hard. You didn’t expect this to be his reaction.

“You’re mad at…yourself?” 

Sukuna lets out a heavy sigh, pink locks falling onto his forehead as he hangs his head.

“Yeah. I am. Mad that I didn’t realize you were feeling this way. Disappointed in myself for letting it get to this point,” his voice cracks as he looks at you with a shimmer in his eyes.

“I’ve never found anyone more attractive in my life than you are to me right now. Watching you fight so hard to carry and give birth to our daughter made me want you more than I thought possible. But now? Seeing you care for her, feed her with your own body, and the way you support and encourage me? It only amplifies every damn day. 

“Fuck, I feel guilty with how turned on I get seeing you be a mom every fucking day,” he drags his fingers through his hair, revealing his flushed skin, likely embarrassed at such a heartfelt confession coming out of his mouth.

You feel tears start to prick at the corners of your eyes so you throw your arms around him and bury your face in his neck to try and delay the inevitable waterworks that are threatening to start.

“Then why don’t you ever do anything,” you force out.

His arms wrap around your back, rolling you both over so now you are sprawled out across his chest, causing you to squeal in surprise.

“I-I didn’t want to bother you or put pressure on you. I know the birth wasn’t easy and you had to heal. And the strain you’re under literally using your body to feed her. I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt you. Thought you’d come to me when you were ready,” he holds you tighter as he rambles on, moving one hand to catch the tears that are now cascading down your cheek.

“Your body has never been more perfect to me. How could I ever find disgust in the evidence of you bringing our child into the world? It’s fucking hot baby is what it is, you successfully carrying my child. Knowing your body is what’s nourishing her and helping her grow? I didn’t do any of that, I’m in fucking awe of you every damn day,” he peppers your face with kisses between each word.

Your chest feels like it's swelled to twice its size as the weight of his words settle in.

“I-I had no idea, and now I feel so stupid,” you look up at him through blurry vision.

Sukuna just smirks, a deep blush dusting his cheeks.

“Join the fucking club baby, I feel like a massive idiot right now too,” his voice deepens as he squeezes your ass. 

“I mean I’ll fucking ruin you right now if you want,” he groans into your neck as he presses himself against you, making you gasp at the feeling of him hard against your groin.

The moment is quickly interrupted though as a wail breaks out over the monitor. 

You both tense up, but then start to laugh, shaking your heads with a smile.

“Your daughter seems to feel otherwise,” you giggle, planting a soft kiss on his lips before rolling off to his side.

“Little cockblocking brat,” Sukuna snickers, sitting up to reveal the damn tent in his boxers.

“I’ll go, you seem…predisposed,” you gesture at his lower half, not missing how he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not going anywhere anytime soon, it’ll be here when you get back,” he drags his hands across his face before falling back into his pillow again.

You lean down to give him a deep kiss before finally pulling away.

“I love you,” you cup his cheek as you stare down at him.

“I love you too, don’t ever question it,” he answers, never taking his eyes off of you as he watches you go.

I have no desire for kids currently but for some reason him being a dad makes me question everything. Thank you for reading!!

[sukunahs]

iris's favourite fics

a collection of my absolute favourite jjk one shots, drabbles and series! most of these are sukuna-centric but there are a couple for other characters too

this list includes a mix of ao3 and tumblr fics, for even more recommendations take a look at my #fic recs tag!

series

hesitance, defiance and controller by @yenayaps

what you know and hold me like a grudge by @starmapz

vault boy, slim pickins and broken hearts by @indiewritesxoxo

feathers and lace by @feyrinnn

tamed by @bluukive

spiracle by @5yzygy

i wanna be your endgame and to the end by @yuujispinkhair

forgotten souls, accidental sins and chained by killerpoultry

blackmail by vinus

remember the time by pasteleclectic

pride. by kettlescorn

the butcher by bunnythot

one shots

love and company by @/starmapz

friday night lights and dark but just a game by @epicderpface

she's my collar by @liahcharms

pretty please and sleep tight by @madamechrissy

the one that got away and it's not me it's you by @/indiewritesxoxo

help, the angel and devil on my shoulder keep watching me goon! by @/bluukive

rocking around the christmas tree, blood vow and baby, come back to me by @/feyrinnn

not so secret admirer by @spideyyeet

ponyboy by @shokocide

dungeons & dragons & d*ck?! by @iamsoclone

heaven knows and veni, vidi, vici by emphistic

drabbles/headcanons

history, facesitting 101 with athlete!sukuna and nerd!reader by @macbethinchains

group project with athletekuna by @cupidstrace

sukuna jerking off while watching his fav cam girl and arguing with sukuna during sex by @gojodickbig

pornstar!sukuna by @ryoride

trueform!sukuna making his maid bathe him and full nelson babytrapping w sukuna by @gradeonefreak

sweet obsessions by @/epicderpface

bsf satoru gojo helps get you off by @yailuxe

hate sex w sukuna by @sukurena

69ing with sukuna on top by @/5yzygy

husband!sukuna x reader by @seellove

[seellove]

Never felt more paranoid than me right now taking a break from writing Head Over Boots (aka Rodeo Cowboy Sukuna) to get on TikTok and getting pro rodeo edits labeled “hungwalk” / “he walks like it’s heavy” etc like BRO my Chinese spy is working OVERTIME RN he must read this story. Like I’m over here flustered and blushing it’s insane.

I feel like I need to incorporate this somehow, it’s a sign from above.

In other news Chapter 9 is coming along well 🙂‍↕️

[seellove]

Do we want a Head Over Boots preview? I think yes!

TW: cyber bullying, mentions of sex, panic attack

Looking to pass the time on the drive, you open your phone to Tiktok and what you find makes your heart drop.

Staring back at you is a photo of you from high school, an unattractive one at that, sitting next to one of Sukuna and his supermodel ex-girlfriend.

You knew this moment was coming. Sukuna had put out a video earlier this morning announcing his hiatus from the rodeo world for the foreseeable future. Rodeo fans and participants alike had been waiting with baited breath for word on the star’s condition and next steps.

Sukuna also, with your permission, had announced his relationship with you and urged people to respect his and your privacy during this time while he continued to heal and recover.

Wishful thinking, but his PR team needed him to cover his bases with his blanket statement.

The video you came across was some pop culture influencer who must do deep dives on stuff like this because this was clearly a comparison video on the new woman in Sukuna’s life versus the one of old.

Shutting the volume off, you read the subtitles as best you can.

Clearly he was going a different direction.

Not the model type.

Very bland and ordinary.

Gold digger?

Some fans of the previous couple are furious, truly believing they would come back together after time apart.

Then piles of photos of you from college in very risque outfits with your friends’s faces blurred out thankfully.

Critiquing everything.

Your style, career, makeup, body, face…everything!

How the hell did she even have all this?

Your face heats up with embarrassment, eyes stinging with humiliation washing over you. It hadn’t seemed all that bad when Sukuna and his PR team had talked to you earlier, but seeing it in real time, your entire persona being ridiculed in front of millions, was so hurtful.

And the comments, while there were plenty of kind and supportive ones, you couldn’t help but focus on the negative.

He had to have gotten her pregnant to be with someone like this.

Is he purposely trying to tarnish his reputation?

The downgrade needs to be studied.

Must’ve been a helluva head injury.

8 billion people on this earth and he chose this.

Imagine being gifted a Bentley and choosing to take the Honda instead.

She’s so chopped.

She’s the one on his dick every night so…

The last one made you laugh, although you haven’t been on his dick since before the accident. They don’t need to know that though!

One swipe didn’t help at all, instead some montage of Sukuna and Olivia on some tropical vacation with very intimate poses assaults your eyes. Then you see it’s from her account. She posted these. On purpose…with a one word caption.

Reminiscing.

You dry heave out of nowhere, loudly dropping your phone between the seat and the door. Your hand catches something wet before what you assume is your lunch spurts out in chunks onto his floor mats.

“Woah!” Sukuna barks, slamming on the brakes and pulling into an empty parking lot that just happened to grace your presence.

AN: chapter is about 1/3 of the way done at 4k words, I’d love to publish it this weekend! We take a trip to Sukuna’s homeland for most of the chapter and meet the fam! (Yuuji appearance!)

[seellove]

Never felt more paranoid than me right now taking a break from writing Head Over Boots (aka Rodeo Cowboy Sukuna) to get on TikTok and getting pro rodeo edits labeled “hungwalk” / “he walks like it’s heavy” etc like BRO my Chinese spy is working OVERTIME RN he must read this story. Like I’m over here flustered and blushing it’s insane.

I feel like I need to incorporate this somehow, it’s a sign from above.

In other news Chapter 9 is coming along well 🙂‍↕️

[sweetlandspos]

Backstudy closeup

Instagram X

[macbethinchains]

THIN LINE BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HERE

pairing club promoter!sukuna x actress!fem!reader

about your first big movie just so happens to be in the streets of nyc. in a city that often does not offer solace, you try to find yourself in the loudness it lives in — between rainy taxi drives down the west side highway, late night train rides where you're the only one on the train, and the ‘celebrity life’ with your cast mates. in the middle of it all sits, sukuna; drenched in special access to the top clubs, crimson lights, powdery white lines, and secrets he’d never tell you — offering you a version of the city that feels more like a fever dream than reality. what starts as fascination quickly spirals to a skyscraper of addiction. addiction to the drugs, the toxicity, the chaos, and to each other. you’re not sure you can act your way out of his grip. you’re not entirely sure that you want to.

warnings modern/non canon au, nsfw, power dynamics, toxic relationship, jealousy, drug use, alcohol intake, violence (not towards reader), smut, nightlife/club scene, celebrity life, religious imagery, city life, death, angst/no comfort, each chapter will have its own list of warnings.

note he is here and he is yours, @eraserbread! i hope you find yourself in the rain streaked taxi windows and the trains that rumble under their feet. thank you for loving them just as much as i do. their story is a pretty hard one, it’s painful and unforgiving at times — but it’s raw and real. and i want to use this time to put out a serious disclaimer; nothing here is meant to be romanticized. i am not romanticizing addiction, drug use, toxic relationships, anything. so, please step into their world with an open mind. i hope you treat them, and yourself, with care!

welcome to the #phellymultiverse sukuna. we’ve been waiting <3

one silver girl

two tba

three tba

four tba

five tba

six tba

seven tba

eight tba

nine tba

ten tba

behind the scenes (drabbles/one shots/series where you'd see more of the characters from here) club classic, passion play, charm, promoter!sukuna and his mouth kink

want vip? → comment to be added to the taglist!

art cred: @to00fu for kuna fanart/@saradika-graphics for dividers

[iheartyuyu]

5 times sukuna was heavily yearning + 1 time you finally noticed.

oblivious, lonely reader who’s used to doing things alone x downbad!sukuna. jealous!sukuna. gn!reader. reader wears glasses. uncle!sukuna. sukuna calls reader angel. he’s so down bad bro. ooc sukuna as usual. mentions of nsfw contents.

— ☆ —

1. movie nights.

you had a specific, detailed, high maintenance routine for watching movies. you had slowly perfected the process— a mental to do list popping up every time a new movie dropped that you needed to watch.

first, you needed to be in your designated ‘movie night pajamas’, the most comfortable you owned. your favorite blanket had to be there, along with your favorite pillow for support. you liked watching in your home more than cinemas, because you disliked the idea of not being able to pause the movie for whatever reason. who decided to make bathroom breaks that short, anyways?

for snacks, chips poured into your favorite bowl, your favorite niche flavor. a chocolate bar sat beside it just incase the movie got intense enough for you to crave it. your favorite drink was set beside them in a thermal cup, allowing you to drink it as slow as possible without it melting too quickly.

your phone had to be on dnd, blocking out every notification. the room had to be cold, and you avoided any distractions because pausing the movie on piracy websites meant three minutes of closing ads to turn it back on.

tonight, everything was perfect.

you were perfectly wrapped in your blanket, eyes wide as it watched the screen perfectly, chips tasting perfect, drink perfected, everything absolutely perfect—

bzzz.

you immediately groaned. who could possibly be showing up? you hadn’t ordered food. no one was invited over. it was late. what could possibly be urgent enough to prompt someone to ruin your little routine?

you paused the movie (which took three minutes of pressing ‘x’ on ads urging you to ‘text hot, single ladies in your area’, and ‘ai bots who can make you cum in three minutes!’), pushed the blanket off, and pulled the door open with a soft pout you didn’t even register, just to pause when you saw sukuna standing there, eyebrows furrowed, frowning.

you and sukuna weren’t that close, really. you were in the same friend group, but you always felt nervous around him. he was intimidating, scary, too cool for you. he always stared at you blankly, and you decided he was judging you for… everything. you were awkward, nervous, a little odd.

so, him showing up to your home at midnight was a little… nerve-wracking. his red eyes slowly scanned your comfortable, worn out pajamas, messy hair, tiny pout that faded as your eyes widened, before he blinked blankly. “sorry for showing up unannounced.”

he didn’t sound apologetic. at all. his tone was monotonous, almost unamused.

“can i come in?”

you slowly blinked, before realizing how dumb you must look. you grimaced internally, stepping aside, letting him in. immediately, his eyes landed on your little set up, and he arched an eyebrow. “movie night, huh? watching part two of your little movie series?”

“how did you know?” you mumbled, genuinely confused. much to your surprise, his lips twitched up in something that looked like admiration, amused, and it was the closest you ever got to see him smile.

holy fuck, he was so gorgeous it felt unfair. now that you were actually focusing on the man towering over you, dressed in a black shirt and gray sweatpants, tanned skin peaking from under his clothes, muscles on view—

“it’s your favorite series, and it just dropped. i can recognize the sketchy ass website because you hate netflix. you have your little movie night routine, pajamas, chips, and drink.” he murmured casually, nonchalantly, as if it was normal that the guy you thought disliked you knew this much about you. “i listen, you know.”

your jaw was slack, eyes wide. he only snorted, arching an eyebrow. “don’t tell me fucking gojo was right and you really think i hate you.”

you paused. “well…”

“are you serious?” sukuna scoffed. “you’re my fucking favorite in the group, dumbass.”

“what?” you mumbled back, more confused. “you always glare at me. you never talk to me. i was starting to think you didn’t even know my last name.”

he stared at you, almost as if you were insane, then sighed. “you really are oblivious, huh?”

“hey—“

he shook his head, still looking mildly amused. “here’s the notes suguru said he would drop by to give you and forgot. i know you like studying early.”

“oh. you didn’t have to—“

“i wanted to.” he immediately stated, face serious. “‘ll leave you to it, can’t have someone ruining your perfect night. goodnight.”

with that, he was out, leaving you even more flabbergasted.

what. the. fuck.

2. hangouts.

you were still getting used to the idea that sukuna told you that not only did he not hate you, but that you were his favorite in the group. to you, the idea was unbelievable. flabbergasting. maybe even a little more scarier than being hated by him for some reason, but you managed pretty well.

at least you were more comfortable hanging out with your group now.

however, you had a tiny little habit. you hated the coffee at the place your friends loved, so often, you just walked away to the place next to it to buy your own coffee. it provided you a break, making the little pit of your stomach that grows when having to be around people, even your best friends, for too long reset, and you just get a chance to catch your breath.

today wasn’t different. in the middle of the hangout, you grabbed your wallet and slipped out, enjoying the tiny walk in fresh air before you stepped into your favorite cafe.

the familiar barista immediately lit up at the sight of you, boredom fading from his face. he was your age, friendly with a cute grin that grew whenever you two chatted— something that made you feel at ease when ordering.

“my favorite customer,” he immediately greeted, grinning. the bell at the door chimed, and you both didn’t pay any mind to it. “i wonder what you will order this time.”

you snorted. you both knew you ordered the exact same thing every single time. “yeah, i wonder too.”

he chuckled, eyes flickering to the screen. you could feel a figure stopping behind you. “well, you know your total.”

you hummed, about to pay, when the familiar scent of sukuna’s signature perfume finally registered in your mind as he moved to step beside you, eyes narrowed, jaw slowly twitching. “make it two.”

you slowly glanced up. the barista looked up in surprise, before he nodded calmly. “of course.”

before you could register it, sukuna’s card was pressing against the machine, paying for you both. your jaw went slack for the second time this week, flabbergasted once more, but sukuna was already pulling you out of line so that the people behind you could pay.

and, more unfazed that he should be by his own actions, he casually held out the receipt. “here. you take the code and collect points on their app, right?”

“…how the fuck do you even know that?” you mumbled, utterly confused. “why are you here? how did you find me— did you even know what you ordered—“

“easy there, angel.” he murmured, calm. “you always carry the receipt and i see you type something from it on your phone often. ‘m here because the coffee in the other shop is ass. you always come here, so i figured i would try my coffee with you. i know what i ordered because i know your order.”

you openly gaped at him. he only reached over, grabbing both drinks, arching an eyebrow. “are you gonna gape at me forever or drink this sweet shit?”

“…did you just call me angel?”

his amusement immediately faded, ears turning red as he shoved your drink your way, looking away. “absolutely not. hallucinations. let’s go.”

that was what he chooses to deny? not that he knew your movie night in details? that he knew your exact drink? that he knew you secretly collected points from your favorite coffee shop?

you let out a tiny chuckle, amused, following behind him. that somehow managed to make his ears even more red, a scowl pulling on his pretty lips.

fuck. he was gorgeous, and adorable.

how horrible for you.

3. aquarium.

you laid face-down on shoko’s bed, face showed between the pillows, eyes shut in pure horror. “‘m so screwed.”

she sighed for the nth time from where she sat on the ground, studying. “you quite literally could not be more not screwed.”

“i have a crush on him, shoko. i never have crushes. and now i have one, on fucking sukuna. the guy once punched a guy for breathing ‘his’ air. he fucking hates people. i am so utterly fucked. he will kill me.”

she glanced up, as if she knew something you didn’t. “he won’t kill you. kiss you? maybe.”

“stop being delusional.” you mumbled, voice muffled as you buried your face into the sand further. “‘m so fucked.”

she sighed. “you’re delusional too if you don’t realize what’s happening. anyways, isn’t it the twenty seventh? your monthly aquarium night?”

you jumped up, gasping. “it is! fuck!” you quickly grabbed your phone to check the time, before opening the aquarium’s instagram page just in case there were any updates.

and, unfortunately, right there on their instagram story, posted twelve hours ago, was a simple statement.

‘couples only day!’

“oh, fuck my fucking life.” you mumbled, eyes on the story, shoulders drooping. “shoko, be my aquarium date.”

“couples only, huh? if only these weren’t the conditions,” she mused, almost flirty, before tilting her head.

“yes.”

“ask sukuna to go with you.”

you blinked once, twice, before pulling up your phone, nodding, serious. “good idea. ‘m asking gojo or geto.”

“that is quite literally not what i said.”

“you’re a genius.”

you sent off a quick text to geto and gojo, jumping off her bed to head to your own apartment to get ready. after dressing up all cute for the sake of your loved marine animals, you glanced down at your phone, where a vague text from gojo said he couldn’t, followed by maybe three million crying emojis (which was maybe because he had begged before to accompany you said no. aquariums were a single, you-only trip), and geto sent back a simple ‘he’s almost there’, and a thumbs up.

what kind of reply was that? you frowned, sending five questions marks, about to ask who the fuck ‘he’ was, when your doorbell rings.

you pulled the door open, and freeze when your eyes landed on the one and only sukuna. he glanced at you, eyes blank, and nodded once. “let’s go.”

“…where?”

he raised an eyebrow. “the aquarium. date night. let’s go.”

“…are you sure?” you immediately mumbled, voice uncharacteristically low. “‘m, uh, kind of enthusiastic about this. nerdy. geeky. um, annoying.”

his lips twitched up into an endeared smile that he immediately pushed back. “i know what ‘m getting into. let’s go.”

you grabbed your jacket, eyebrows furrowing. “suguru could have just said he couldn’t come. i’m sorry he sent you instead.”

“oh, he could come.” sukuna stated blankly, stepping into the elevator behind you. you glanced up at him, confused, and he stared back blankly, as if waiting for you to collect dots you didn’t even see. he only sighed after a few minutes, shaking his head. “this is both cute and infuriating. so, which stupid creature is your favorite?”

you expected a night with sukuna to be awkward. tense. uncomfortable. a night where you had to hold back so you don’t become labeled as talkative, or annoying, or too much.

you didn’t expect for him to be a good listener. nodding at whatever you said, asking questions at first to keep you talking until you were comfortable rambling. you didn’t expect him to hold your things so you could comfortably get closer to the glass, or stay longer at your favorite animals, or ask you about ones that seemed interesting, his eyes soft and lips twitching upwards just the slightest. you didn’t expect him to disappear at one point and come back with a few limited-edition items from the small gift shop either, dumping them in your arms wordlessly as you two were walking out.

“thank you for being my fake date for the night, kuna.” you mumbled as he was dropping you off, sleepy, eyes soft and voice slurred. he paused at your words, lips twitching into a frown before he eyed how sleepy you were and only sighed.

“of course, angel.” he muttered, reaching over and nonchalantly pressing a kiss to your forehead before he turned around, walking away. “…sleep well, goodnight.”

gaping at him seeming like a new routine, except this time, your sleepy eyes were set on his back as he left, almost getting distracted by his muscles showing through the fabric. oh, you were so, utterly fucked.

4. the beach.

you sat quietly on the sand, wrapped tightly in a towel, eyes ahead as you watched gojo, geto and shoko shoving each other in the water. choso was on a towel beside you, deeply asleep and snoring. toji was playing around with megumi and nobara and yuji, who was yapping about how his uncle dropped him off and disappeared. everyone was enjoying themselves.

you were freezing.

you had gotten there earlier, having known they would all show up too late. you liked swimming alone with no eyes on you, so with too much sunscreen, you stayed in the water under the sun in what you knew was the perfect time for you. by the time everyone else arrived, you were already drying in the shade.

oh, how you wished you had a dry towel—

a dry towel dropped into your lap before the thought even finished. you froze, glancing up at the sky, before immediately closing your eyes again and wishing for a million dollars just in case.

“don’t stare at the fucking sun.”

ah. your genie.

you peaked through your lashes at sukuna, who glared at you, a hand going to shade your eyes from the sun. he was dry, holding a small bag which you assumed was for his wallet and phone and car keys and towel, the sun kissing every spot on his perfect body, as if purposely teasing you.

fuck. how could someone be so pretty?

he sighed, pulling a cap out of the bag. he pushed it on top of your damp hair, shading your face, and slumped beside you. “switch towels. mine is dry.”

“hi.” you mumbled dumbly, blinking a few times to snap yourself from the daze seeing his beautiful red eyes in the sun put you through. his lips twitched, face softening, and he only pulled the cap down further. you finally remembered how to think. “don’t you need your towel dry?”

“‘m not going into the water this late.” he stated. his eyes flickered to choso asleep, and he rolled his eyes, standing back up. you watched shamelessly as he effortlessly pulled the heavy umbrella so it was covering the sun kissed stoner, sighing, voice lower. “that dumbass.”

“i spray him with sunscreen every two hours. flipped him once.” you mused, taking the chance of sukuna being distracted to switch towels, sighing in relief once the warm, dry, soft towel wrapped around you. “thank you, kuna.”

“don’t mention it.” he grunted, then frowned once he registered your words, “you rub sunscreen on him?”

“oh, no, it’s a spray.” you hummed, pulling it out. “isn’t it cool?”

he glanced at the spray bottle, shoulders slowly relaxing. “mhm. it is. can you spray me?”

you nodded, moving to stand up, immediately stumbling in the towel. firm fingers immediately steadied you, and you deeply hoped he couldn’t feel the warmth radiating off you from being flustered as he slowly let go.

you slowly sprayed him, the sunscreen leaving a shiny coat that made him look even more beautiful. after making sure every part of him was covered, you slowly sat back down. “try to rub it to make sure it’s even.”

he hummed, eyes shut, slowly spreading it out, spreading it out on his tan skin.

what a fucking sight, really. he was so, unbelievably gorgeous. you were so fucked.

“…you went early, huh?”

“…yeah.” you mumbled, eyes still on him, hoping he keeps his eyes closed.

“tell me next time. ‘ll go with you.” he sighed. “these idiots always come when it’s already too cold.”

you nodded slowly as he finally finished, slumping next to you on the little beach mat gojo had gotten, so close that his thigh was pretty to your covered figure. he frowned. “your lips are pale. still cold?”

you grimaced. “‘ll be okay. thank you for the towel—“

he sighed, an arm wrapping around your shoulder before he was pulling you towards him. you missed the way his body relaxed, lips twitching into a repressed grin, the face of a man finally achieving one of his long lost goals.

holy fuck. you were pressed to his side, his body oozing warmth. he smelled great, and you could feel his muscles every time he shifted. as you stared ahead, trying to pretend like you weren’t malfunctioning, your eyes landed on shoko, gojo and geto staring back at you guys from the water, jaws slack.

well. at least it wasn’t you this time.

5. studying.

as much as it seemed otherwise, studying with gojo actually helped you. you both kept each other in check— you stopped him whenever he started yapping, and he distracted you whenever you were spiraling. you both were a team when studying— having been one since the first semester, when you both met.

during breaks, however, was when you really liked studying with gojo. you both sat with thirteen expensive pastries in front of you, gojo’s treat, and he grinned excitedly. “oh, this will be so good. you go first.”

“you don’t have to tell me twice.” you mumbled, picking one up. you immediately moaned in delight, holding the rest to gojo, who reached over and took the rest from between your fingers. “fuck. this is so good.”

gojo let out an even louder moan. you both ignored the disgusted glares from the people around you, happily chewing. “oh, these are fucking godsent. thank you for being my taste buddy.”

“thank you,” you mumbled, grabbing another one. “you’re the one spoiling me with these. you’re, like, my dream man right now.”

gojo let out a loud laugh, before pausing, shivering in horror at whatever he imagined. “do not let sukuna hear you saying that. he’ll have my head.”

“why would he have your head for that?” you mumbled, mouthful, and distracted by the heavenly taste of these. you weren’t even a fan of pasteries, but these were on another level. you tried another, and immediately groaned. “fuck. try this one.”

you immediately extended your hand out to gojo. he, as usual, ate half of it off your fingers instead, and dramatically melted in his seat. “ten out of ten. perfect. stunning. i will marry whoever made these.” he swallowed, and quickly ate the rest off your fingers to. “and he will because he’s, like, in love with you.”

“you flipping liar.” you mumbled, unamused with the obvious fake news. “he doesn’t. he’s just a good friend.”

“he’s not a good friend,” gojo snorted. “he almost shoved my head into the toilet bowl yesterday because he was bored. he likes you.”

you did not believe him the slightest. “uh-huh. wanna try the red one?”

“yes, please.”

later that night, you were curled up in bed— going over everything you had studied earlier to lock the information into your mind. the groupchat was blowing up after choso was caught kissing someone (you already knew the news. choso blurted about his ‘secret’ crush to you before when he was high, and forgot.) and you just shot back a sticker laughing, said you were studying and you needed more caffeine to deal with this, and shut your phone off completely.

you really needed caffeine.

everytime you shut your eyes, all you can see is a cold, cup of your favorite coffee from your favorite shop. the condensation running down, the inviting taste, everything—

fuck. you needed one so bad. you frowned, turning your phone on to glance at the time, and paused when a notification stood out from between the ones on the groupchat.

sukuna: pick u up for coffee in five?

you stared at the message, then slowly glanced down at the sweatpants and oversized hoodie you were in, your hair messy, broken glasses on because you were too lazy to get these specific ones fixed and you lost the other, before sighing. you needed caffeine too bad to worry about how you looked in front of him right now.

you: please :c

a car honked downstairs a few minutes. you quickly grabbed your wallet and your half-dead phone, rushing downstairs, grabbing an oversized jacket on the way so you could tug it on top of your thick hoodie, grimacing at how much of a mess you looked. you slid into the passenger seat, and sukuna only stared at you, eyes slowly taking in your appearance, lips softly pulling up.

“don’t say anything.” you immediately mumbled. his smirk widened, but he didn’t speak, immediately resuming to drive, eyes ahead. “‘m so sleepy.”

“uh-huh. let’s get some caffeine in you.” he murmured, turning more serious. “don’t overwork yourself tonight. did you have dinner?”

you nodded, ignoring how your heart felt like it was twirling in your chest. “i did. ate and drank and slept well.”

he hummed. “good.”

in the coffee shop, he got the same as you, paying despite your complaints. once the drinks were out, he grabbed both, wrapping yours in tissues to keep your fingers from being cold before handing it over, humming.

you were looking over notes in your phone, too tired to register his actions. you only quietly took the cup, immediately sipping, shoulders slowly rolling down, tense muscles relaxing. “thank you, kuna.”

he clicked his tongue. “don’t mention it.”

in the car, you focused on sipping the coffee, and he cleared his throat. “gojo said you two were on a study date this morning. pastries and shit. said you called him your dream man.”

you snorted. sukuna glanced over, utterly unamused, almost pouting. “i love gojo.”

his lips immediately formed a scowl. “you love him?”

“not like that,” you snorted. “he’s just… he was the first person who was nice to me in university, you know. the first person who made sure i never felt like a burden. he means a lot to me, platonically.”

he was silent for a while, then nodded, pulling up in front of your building. “good. you deserve to never feel like a burden. you… mean a lot to me.”

was he trying to kill you? you immediately shuffled out, heart beating like it was trying to escape your chest, cheeks burning. “you mean a lot to me too, kuna. um, goodnight. thank you for picking me up.”

“don’t mention it, angel.”

+1.

against your will, you were dragged to a party.

you would have been enthusiastic, really, if finals hadn’t just ended— leaving you too sleep deprived that you couldn’t even walk straight. gojo had came over to force you out and picked your outfit out for you, keeping in mind your pleads for it to be something warm, and you ended up in the passenger seat of his car, asleep soundly, vaguely aware of his whining about you needing to be awake as he drove you there.

you could only remember little snippets between your tiny naps, really.

gojo having his arm around you as he dragged you in.

you slumping down beside choso, immediately falling asleep on his shoulder.

sukuna crouching down in front of you, concerned, eyes worried.

sukuna covering you with a blanket.

sukuna sitting beside you, pulling your head into his shoulder instead.

geto replacing choso. you shifting, head falling into his shoulder because he was warmer.

sukuna immediately pulling you back towards him, an arm falling around your waist to keep you close, bickering with geto.

after that, you drifted into deep sleep— the kind that only came after a week straight of pulling all nighters. and, when you woke up again, you were wrapped in a blanket, on the roof, on a tiny couch with your head on sukuna’s lap and a cigarette between his lips.

the second he registered you awake, he pushed the cigarette into the ashtray, eyes soft, fingers on your shoulders to help you sit up. “you okay, angel?”

“mhm. sleepy.” you mumbled, blinking slowly, still half asleep. you yawned, rubbing your eyes. “thank you for watching over me, kuna. you’re, like, my angel.”

“…don’t mention it.” he whispered— although, it sounded more like a pained whimper. “i… yeah. don’t mention it.”

it was silent for a few minutes. you both stared up at the sky, lost in thought, before sukuna cleared his throat.

“…the stars are pretty.”

“mhm.”

he paused, before speaking again. his voice was low, soft, but it was laced with quiet frustration that you could tell wasn’t pointed at you. “we’re, uh, done with the semester.”

“…mhm.”

he clicked his tongue, and sat up, like he’s restarting. “…we’re good friends.”

“we are.” you mumbled, still dazed from your delicious, needed nap. he let out a small groan, face buried into his palm.

“fuck.”

“…kuna?” you murmured, voice soft, sleepy. his eyes finally flickered up, frustrated and almost disappointed in himself, and you only gave him a small, sleepy smile. “i like you too.”

and finally, it was his turn for his jaw to go slack, eyes widening, before he turned to you quickly. “you’re not fucking with me, right? you like me?”

you nodded, sleepy, but focused. “i like you.”

he didn’t hesitate before dropping to his knees in front of you, eyes soft and almost pathetic. “say that again. please.”

“i like you, kuna.” you repeated, quieter, softer, more serious.

he let his head drop, face pressed against the blanket covering your thighs briefly, voice muffled when he spoke. “…you have no idea how many years i have been dying to hear this, angel. fuck.” when he lifted his head back up, his red eyes were almost glossy. “‘m marrying the fuck out of you one day.”

that managed a sleepy laugh out of you. “take me on a date first, at least. we haven’t even kissed yet.”

his eyes lit up at the mere thought— before you watched him visibly holding himself back, trying to appear more relaxed, probably to not scare you off, despite his reddening ears at the idea. “right. dates. i will date you so fucking good, i promise, you will never think of anyone but me again. not even that stupid barista who clearly wants you so bad. only me.” he nodded, serious, scowling, before his eyes softened again. “best dates of your life. where do you want to go? dinner? coffee? aquarium? your little movie night routine at my place? do you want me to make it a surprise? i will be the best boyfriend— wait, fuck, not that yet—“

you reached over, softly pressing your lips to his,

he froze, eyes probably wide, then immediately melted the second your fingers gently cupped his face to pull him closer, letting out a soft, little sound into the kiss that had his face flushing further.

once you pulled away, your eyes met his dazed ones, and he slowly sucked in a deep breath. “….fuck.”

“dinner sounds good.” you whispered back, thumb brushing over his bottom lip, and he shut his eyes, as if it took visible effort not to groan. “next week?”

“you think ‘ll make it to next week?” he let out a sharp laugh. “you have me fucking kneeling for you, angel. tomorrow. 8. please.”

“okay.” you murmured, voice soft. “now, come back up, i will want to continue napping on you.”

“…anything you fucking want, forever.”