Sunny Days I Thought Would Never End

Hiiiii!!!! :) this blog is me in a nutshell; a work in progress. (This took me forever to write up, and that’s the best I could come up with. Sad.)

[nhlh-95]

[azertyrobaz]

Not anymore. They ruined it.

[voguefashion]

Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy in Tribeca, New York City, December 11, 1997.

[wuntrum]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

[animentality]

[holycalf]

when fiona apple asked “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”. well i have not found an answer but if anyone else has lmk

[alwaysbeenjessica]

ray bradbury

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

things you deserve:

to be treasured

hand-picked flowers

cat nuzzles

a big, long hug (if you like those)

fresh fruit

a big, cool glass of water

an “i’m proud of you”

[zzzilan]

i’m so glad i slipped through the fingers of people who had no idea how to hold me

[rederiswrites]

It's incredible, really, how wanting to know what happened in the past can be an even stronger hook in a story than wanting to know what happens next. The urge to understand why things are the way they are, even knowing that it can't be changed, is so powerful

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

no one in your life will ever judge you as much as you judge yourself. go easy on yourself. you don’t deserve to have a critic looking over your shoulder every second of your existence. you deserve a constant supporter, and that supporter should be you.

[vnusplanetoflove]

I hate being asked what my goal in life is…. like.. idk…?? I want to have my own kitchen… and I want to know every poem by heart… and uhh.. I want to be kissed in the rain … etc etc .. my heart is very little and I dont want it to break

[random-brushstrokes]

Jack Noel Kilgour - The attic window (ca. 1934)

[velartis]

Franz Kafka, 1912

[pairs-studio]

[inkskinned]

everyone says you can always restart. that your future isn't forgotten, just sort of misplaced. they name actors and singers and authors who started at 46, 59. they cite chappell roan's 10 years. they tell you to push and push, that some day you'll open a door and the truth will be behind it.

but what if you aren't a celebrity in sheep's clothing. what if you're just a normal person. most people aren't exceptionally talented or else talent wouldn't be exceptional - right? what if you're just another median person; not ever startlingly bad nor terrifyingly good.

you put the shopping carts back and you walk your dog and you write poems on the internet. you have grown a plant or two; killed a few others. you did okay, overall, and you've been okay most of your life. not valedictorian, but you were a smart kid. you had some hard knocks, but you got up again. your life is just - average. you probably will never sing onstage at coachella. most of the time you are at peace with that - someone needs to drive the speed limit. life isn't about extraordinary circumstances, it's just about building a life you love and figuring out how to live in it.

but you would like to feel as if you'd found "the answer." everyone else seems to have some kind of talent they are born nesting in - and meanwhile you just exist. is that why you cycle through crafts and hobbies and activities like a roulette wheel? are you waiting for the moment where it turns out - all this time, you've been a visionary. a genius. all this time, you were special. even you: someone who has-never-been.

crawling up your throat: something bitter and savage. not quite a feeling of wasted potential. after all, you need to first have potential in order to waste it.

[bookocreativity]

Girls who love their nose buried in a book