See you tomorrow, Mom

A blog to help combat a working mama's guilt and keep cool after procreation.

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As their love for one another swells, so, too, does my heart. 💓 #everleighandash (at Dundas, Ontario)

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Everleigh Rose. She's almost seven. She has a loving, empathetic heart. She works hard. She plays hard. She sleeps hard. When she speaks French with her beautifully authentic accent, my heart breaks a little. She loves to "trick" us by cracking a hard boiled egg on her head. It never gets old. After school, while Asher takes his afternoon nap, she draws and I cook. She tells me wonderful stories. Some are true, some are made up. It's my favourite time of the day. #everleighrose #everleighissix (at Dundas, Ontario)

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Asher Elias. 15 months today. He is stubborn and tenacious and hilarious and so incredibly loving. He walks now, and he's fast. He doesn't want a hand to hold because that will only hold him back. His latest obsession: sticks. Be them hockey or golf. Whenever he chooses to hug me or kiss me, I'm sure I'm the luckiest lady in the world. He starts daycare on Friday. 😳😭#asherelias #ae15months (at Dundas, Ontario)

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I've always been a believer that New Years resolutions are just barometers for failure. And yet, I also believe a new beginning (eg. A new year) is a great opportunity to assess how far you've come and where you intend to go. So with full understanding of my own yin and yang, polar pulls, hypocrisy, etc., on this last day of the winter break, I resolve to: be a little easier on myself by accepting and learning from my own failures more readily, especially when it comes to parenting, be present (no iPhone from 3 pm until 8 pm in the presence of my children), go on a date once a month, be on time, and continue getting back in shape and eating less meat. That's it. Cheers! 🍾

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One year ago today, this sweet soul entered our world and rocked it inexplicably. Asher, you have brought us so much joy, and so much laughter. You squeak when you sleep, and you pause for a reaction, or to deliver the punchline. Your sense of humour and lust for life is magnificent. You simply adore food, and, with the exception of broccoli, you'll eat it all (and then some). Particularly: bananas, avocado, bagels. You bask in the attention you receive wherever we go. You're a little comedian, just like your dad, and his dad. You dance when you hear music. Your favourite game? Run-crawling to hide in the playroom tent, peeking out, then run-crawling to the piano to play a little tune. Repeat. Oh, and Godzilla. We build up; you tear down. You enjoy nothing more than a great crash. You're a strong one, my boy. In both body and spirit. We are so excited to see where the next year takes you. Happy birthday, sweet son. You are loved. Immeasurably. Photo cred: @kimon

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Me, after another epic battle with E: Friends again? (I couldn’t help it. It just slipped out.)

Everleigh: You can’t be my friend… because we live together. But you can be my Mommy. I don’t want you to be my friend. I want you to be my Mommy. Always.

She’s right, of course. Friendship is a luxury not reserved for me. And these wise words from the six year old serves as a gentle reminder to be the person who builds stability, structure, warmth, rules, and rewards into her busy little world. I am her safe haven. And for that reason, I cannot, nor do I want to, be her friend.

Sure, I will miss out on some secrets and giggles meant only for her closest friends. But friends can falter, friends can fleet, friends can fail to meet expectations (something she is already discovering on the playground). And that is why it is so important that I am not her friend.

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by that truth and the responsibility that goes with it. Sometimes it feels like it’s all too much. How can I fearlessly guide this little human when I’m just fumbling through life myself? But I do, and I must. And when I falter, I pick myself up and dust myself off again. (I am human, after all.)

My six year old daughter is my greatest teacher. And for her I promise to never be her friend. I promise only to be her Mommy. That she can rely on. Always.

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Nine months means he's been living outside of me as long he lived inside of me. He's got the eyes of an old man. He wants to grow up fast so that he can do all the things he sees his sister doing. He's frustrated with mobility and its current limitations. In his little world, there is way too much to see and do to waste time on trivial things like cuddles. So, when moments like these happen, even if only for a split second, I'm holding on. Because each day represents another day he's more determined; more independent; another step farther from being just mine. 💗 #asherelias #ae9months

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This tiny person killed her first week of grade one French Immersion, and came out of it a little more confident to boot. She's my hero. #gradeoneherewecome #gradeschoolainteasy

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Grade one, here she comes! #everleighrose #everleighissix

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You are an active one, clawing at my neck, grabbing fistfuls of my hair so that you can twist around and not miss a beat, always wanting to join in the whirlwind of activity. Moments like these are already scarce. I know I could use this time for writing, for cleaning, for bathing, for something and anything productive. But I'm paralyzed under your weight, incapable of moving as our two breaths become one. And I'm cherishing every minute of it. #asherelias #ae7months

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Oh, she's just waving the keys to our NEW HOUSE 😳! We have learned to embrace change with laughter, love and a spirit of adventure. But now we can settle into something that feels a lot like stability and security. We've worked hard for this. And we're so ready for it. Dundas, here we come! #dundasforever

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Montessori has been the best thing ever. E goes into grade one armed with the ability to speak French, add, subtract, multiply and divide numbers, and read chapter books. More importantly, she has learned how to forge her own way on the battlefield (er, playground), and wears a newfound confidence that makes my heart burst with pride. Big changes are ahead, little one. But I have no doubt you will plough through the bumps of elementary school as you have everything else in your little life. #Montessori #endofanera #everleighissix

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The first thing she said to me this morning was, "Look, Mom! My legs grew!" She's been my marker of time. And today she's just so incredibly six. 😳 #everleighrose #everleighissix

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This girl is spirited and strong-willed. She knows just what buttons to push to bring me to my breaking point. She knows exactly how to ground me, too. With her big spirit and strong will she teaches me how to be a better parent -- human. And I wouldn't have it any other way. #meandmyeverleigh #everleighrose (at Hamilton Farmers Market)

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I spent much of my pregnancy worrying. How will I split my time when I'm in the throes of life with a newborn? How do I go from mom of one to mom of two? After almost six years as my only child, will she love him? Or will she resent him, seeing him only as an interruption to a life that has already seen too much change? Turns out none of these worries are really relevant. She has, once again, schooled me on the malleability of children. Not only is she able to roll with the punches, she often takes pleasure in doing so. Have there been growing pains? Without a doubt. Do I miss the time I used to have with her and the things we used to do? Absolutely. But then this happens, and I am humbled. She loves her brother. He's clearly a gift in her eyes, and not a burden. And this relationship -- one that is gaining strength by the week -- actually has nothing to do with me. ❤️#everleighandash #siblinglove

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My most magical Everleigh Rose; star of every one of her shows; age 5 and three quarters on the nose; Miss Everleigh, Everleigh Rose. 👸🌟👊#everleighrose #iheartwestenzweig

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My children smell like fresh air and cookies. I could breathe them in all day. #mykindofheaven #everleighandash #asherelias #everleighrose