Selective Mutism

Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder that affects 7 in 1000 children in which a person who is perfectly capable of speech fails to speak in certain social situations. Many people have never heard of this disorder and do not understand how it affects children and adults. Most of the time selective mutism is dismissed as just shyness, when in reality if it is not treated properly it can prevent someone from speaking for their entire life. There is currently very little research being done on this disorder. Together we can end the silence.

[selectivemutismawareness]

Me: I have selective mutism, a psychiatric disorder where I can’t speak in certain situations or to certain people.

Some asshole: Wow, everything is a disorder nowadays! What is this Tumblr bullshit?!

Me, diagnosed with SM in 1998: Anyways...

[selectivemutismawareness]

This is the diagnostic criteria for selective mutism in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. You must meet all of the criteria to be diagnosed with SM. I’ve been seeing many people in the tag wondering if they have it. I hope this helps. Remember, If you have a serious concern about your mental health please see a professional.

I also have the rest of the passage if anyone is interested in seeing it.

[selectivemutismawareness]

Bringing it back for selective mutism awareness Month 2k16.

[selectivemutismawareness]

When I get upset I often find my jaw seems to lock up and I can't speak at all. I was wondering if this is at all related to selective mutism?

It could be. Depends on what you mean by upset. I notice in myself when I get anxious/uncomfortable I freeze and clench my jaw really hard and it makes it sort of difficult to speak. It could also just be a normal response to emotions because some people clench their jaw when angry or when they are about to cry.

[selectivemutismawareness]

PSA

Forcing people with social anxiety into social situations against their will to “cure” their anxiety DOES. NOT. WORK.

[selectivemutismawareness]

me: *reads about the symptoms of my own mental illness*

also me: yep that's certainly me, wow same, #relatable, @ me next time though, it's literally me, wow, look it's my brand, wow I

[fakepxnk-deactivated20210507]

selectively mute/ nonverbal asks

when did you find out/ realise you were selectively mute/ nonverbal?

do you speak to your closest friend?

do you speak to the last 3 people you texted?

thoughts on tumblr’s nonverbal community?

which characters do you headcanon as nonverbal and/or selectively mute?

preferred method/s of nonverbal communication?

what do most people you know think of your nonverbal-ness?

in what situation do you find speaking easiest?

what % of the time are you nonverbal?

do you find it difficult to explain why you don’t speak?

(by the way feel free to add on to this with more questions)

[selectivelycute]

when people get mad at you for ignoring them when you’re unable to speak is the worst. they’ll be like “you need to take responsibility for what you did because you made me feel bad by ignoring me.” i’m sorry that my disability bothers you so much??

someone i know said: “if you don’t want your mental ill or disabled friends to be mentally ill or disabled around you then you don’t want friends, you just want convenient people.”

[translatingableism-archive]

i'll explain to people several times that selective mutism means i'm unable to speak to most people and they'll still be like "but if you can speak to her why not me! or the teacher!" and "i've heard you speak before so it makes no difference" smh

“I refuse to listen to disabled people’s expressions of needs or their descriptions of their own struggles. I actively attempt to force interactions on people who can’t perform to my satisfaction and then grow angry at their inevitable continued difficulties.”

Selective mutism is for some reason really hard for people to understand - it doesn’t make sense why it would be! It’s tricky to advocate for yourself when you struggle with communication, too - I hope you’re understood better in the future.

-mod Eliza

[selectivemutismawareness]

People: “Mental illness shouldn’t be stigmatized. It’s ok to talk about things like depression and anxiety. :)”

*People with selective mutism exist.*

People: “Honestly, it’s so rude that you don’t talk. Like why don’t you just get over it and force yourself to talk? Good luck doing anything with your life. :/”

[selectivemutismawareness]

I'm still in secondary school (England) and I can't talk. I'm the smartest person in my year by far but I just can't talk to people. I have my friendship group and when I'm with them I speak freely and even bubbly, but my speech is limited to them and my family. I loathe group work and drama lessons. I know that this is run-of-the-mill selective mutism, but I just really want to speak freely. My family are completely unaware and I don't want them to be. Apart from telling them, what do I do?

I know you don’t want to tell them but it could be helpful. You shouldn’t have to hide your problems from friends and family. Other than that, SM can sometimes be managed by reducing anxiety. Usually professional therapy helps but I don’t think your sessions could be kept completely confidential from your parents assuming you’re underage. You could try some self-help techniques like deep-breathing when faced with stressful social situations. This  article has some pretty useful techniques. I wish I could be of more assistance. Message me if you ever need more help and good luck.

[selectivemutismawareness]

I'm a writer who is very stumped, my father straight up told me SM is false and that a person with it would never have healthy relationships or have jobs in the science world. Which was shocking since my cousin is... But it really was weird because I know that SM can damage opprutunity (I mean no offense I swear! :O ) But that kinda shook me and made me question why I even created the character... I will have to do more research but that made me wonder if I have to rewrite her entire backstory.

Your dad is mostly wrong. People with SM can have healthy relationships as long as they have a supportive group of people who understand what SM is. The damage caused to relationships is rarely the fault of the person with SM the fault lies within people who reject someone simply because “they don’t talk.” As for jobs in a STEM field it is definitely possible having selective mutism can actually make you exceptionally smart so they could definitely go into a science field. Although, I do see where some careers could be difficult as they would require speech (i.e. doctor). It can be difficult but not impossible. And if jobs in the science field don’t want to hire people who have SM then that’s their loss. Continue writing your character as you see fit because we definitely need more positive representation of people with SM.

[selectivemutismawareness]

Ok so when I speak, most of the time, even around people I love and trust, my throat constricts and I physically cannot open my mouth. But with sm is it possible that with most of the time this happens would you still have sm if you can speak after literally prying your mouth open and FORCING yourself to. Even if it's most of the time. But sometimes and sometimes is a lot. I cannot speak, or I force myself to or mutter a few words in response. do you still think I have it?

Probably, speaking shouldn’t feel forced for most people. Personally, when I was trying to force myself not to have SM anymore I would be on the verge of an anxiety attack and my throat would feel like it was closing when I tried to speak. Like it literally hurt. And I could only get like one or two words out most of the time. However, I did consider myself to have SM even then. So yeah if speaking is uncomfortable to the point where you have to force words out it could be SM. Also don’t try to force yourself to speak if you are really anxious about it. Challenging yourself is fine in small doses but constantly doing something that is extremely difficult can be harmful. If you are looking to manage your SM/anxiety a mental health professional in your area may be able to help.

[selectivemutismawareness]

I literally cried during my first speech of the semester and spoke so fast that i went under the 2 minute minimum requirement. I mean the class was supportive but i just felt like I didn’t do as well as I could have. Like I've given speeches before in classes but there’s something about having a class dedicated to giving them that makes me anxious.

[fakepxnk-deactivated20210507]

hi this is a friendly reminder that all my fellow nonverbal girls are beautiful and amazing and i love you and i hope you have a great day

[selectivemutismawareness]

“So you could speak you just chose not to?”

Yep. I just chose not to speak for 16 years. It was torture and ruined a lot of relationships and almost destroyed my life. But yeah, I totally just chose not to speak because I didn't like to. You got me. 

[selectivemutismawareness]

hey um i was wondering. do you think its selective mutism when you cant speak when youre trying to talk about things about yourself that you could get judged for? like i dont rly have problems when i go anywhere or when i talk to ppl, but when someone asks me about an opinion i think ill be judged for having, my throat kinda closes up and i just get rly anxious and its very hard to talk about it.. idk

From what I know selective mutism is something that happens pretty consistently (not talking to the same people or in certain places.) Fear of speaking due to perceived judgement is a pretty common occurrence and if it interferes with speaking confidentially its usually associated with general or social anxiety. Some types of therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help with this.

[lucyelizabeth]

this is a PSA

depression does not vanish just because your life is technically ‘going well’

depression does not vanish just because good things are happening to/around you

depression does not vanish just because you’re surrounded by people who love you

depression is an unconditional illness that comes and goes as it pleases, regardless of what might be happening in your life