Self care is writing self-indulgent fanfic

Hello friends this is the blog formerly known as agentmasswriteroftrash. Once a rvbxreader blog and now a general reader insert blog.

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Oreos and Mario Cart Grif x Reader

So this has been sitting in my drafts since...2017? It was mostly finished, except for the last paragraph or so. I’m still not satisfied with the ending, but whatever. This blog still gets attention and I feel guilty for being on indefinite hiatus so here you go. I’m like 90% sure this was for a prompt or an ask or something but I can’t find it. Enjoy~

Admittedly accepting any kind of challenge from the single laziest member of the Red Army was a pretty bad idea. Grif wasn’t one to make a bet unless he was absolutely sure he was going to win, especially when it involved food. However you were also a force to be reckoned with and after being deprived for six months you were damn well winning those oreos. How he managed to get them way out in this godforsaken canyon was beyond you but that wasn’t important. What was important was that they weren’t going to be his for much longer, not if you had anything to say about it.

Plopping down on the beat up couch – the only one in red base – you watched as your adversary fiddled with the television. You were so ready for this. In fact, you were born ready. Once Grif finished up he joined you on the couch, handing you a controller with a smug look on his face.

“Ready to lose?” He drawled, clearly not taking you or your very intimidating game face into proper consideration.

“Ready to hand over those oreos?” You shot back, getting nothing but a snort in response. The game was finally up and running and the familiar music brought your attention back to the task at hand and away from your lazy friend turned enemy. As mature adults there was really only one way to settle this: Mario Cart. How you got it is just another unsolved mystery – though your personal theory is that HQ just wants to keep you happy enough so that you’ll leave them alone until you all eventually die either at the hands of the blue team or, more likely, in some horrific yet comical accident. While you were contemplating the vast mysteries of Blood Gulch, Grif had made it to the course selection screen.

“So, you wanna do Coconut Mall?” He asked, lazily glancing your way.

“Are you kidding?” You scoffed. “Rainbow Road obviously, we settle this like men.” That of course earned an eye roll, though you could tell he was trying not to smile. The man was surprisingly good at keeping a straight face but you were a pro at seeing through it. For a second your thoughts began to drift but the instant that count down appeared you were all business. Those oreos were yours.

It was a hard race, as expected. Despite your comments and bravado you weren’t particularly good at Mario Cart and Rainbow Road was pretty universally the bane of every racer’s existence. Grif fell off almost immediately while you shockingly managed to stay on the track for a good bit, only to fall off yourself as you laughed at his misfortune. That was how things went until the last lap. Then things got serious. Grif had somehow managed to pull into the lead even though he had spent just as much time getting airlifted back onto the track as you did. It was getting towards the end and you could see his icon creeping closer to the finish line on the mini map. As things stood the only thing that could keep you from losing was some sudden cataclysmic event, like an earthquake, or a power outage or…or a blue shell. As you were considering your options (with controller theft being at the top of your list) you had driven through an item box and had been blessed by fate with the most devious and dreaded of items.

Glancing to your right you quickly checked to see if Grif had noticed your good fortune. There was an intense look of concentration on his face and you almost laughed, it being so unusual and all. The idiot hardly ever put any effort into anything. Still, it looked like he hadn’t noticed what you had just picked up. Grinning, you focused your attention back on the screen while periodically glancing at Grif, waiting for the opportune moment to use your secret weapon. Just as he started looking particularly smug you jumped into action, sending your spikey blue denizen of hell hurtling towards the unsuspecting racer. Your grin got even wider as you saw his eyes widen in horror and his character get sent spinning, recover, and then immediately drive off the edge, allowing you to pass him and cross the finish line. A string of curses left your now very disgruntled compatriot’s mouth as you proceeded to get up and strike the most melodramatic pose you could think of.

“You know,” you choked out, “they used to tell me I wouldn’t amount to anything, but look at me now.” Wiping away imaginary tears you dramatically gestured towards the TV, maintaining your composure for a few more seconds before breaking into hysterical laughter. A disgruntled Grif reluctantly presented you with your prize. You were tempted to keep this pristine package of glorious cookies to yourself, but you knew he’d spend the rest of the day sulking over this if you did. And in the end, you liked him far too much (and found sulky-Grif far too annoying) to deprive him.

“C’mon, we’ll share them” you said, giving him a little peck on the cheek as you walked past him and towards the kitchen area. For a second you worried that he was going to sulk anyway, until you heard him begin to follow you. And order you to get the milk, “or else”. The man took his cookies seriously, and you seriously loved him for it and all his other ridiculous quirks. And not even Mario Cart could come between that.

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Hey Friends

This blog keeps getting followers and views so I figured I might as well update any of you who actually visit it. I started this when I was majorly into rvb and kind of fell off after the Chorus Triology ended, but that wasn’t the only reason. The main reason was some undiagnosed depression that was repeatedly sending me into a tail spin (so fun, I know). Since then I’ve gotten that under control (mostly?), graduated college, and got my first full time job. All in less than two years.

So yeah, it’s been real busy. And I’m not necessarily super into the newest seasons of rvb. I haven’t quite decided what to do with this side blog yet so for now it’s on indefinite hiatus. I won’t take it down ever so if you ever want to read or reread the stuff on here you’ll be able to, but whether I put anything new on here is a bit up in the air.

Current possibilities are:

a) leaving this as a sort of archive and never really coming back to it

b) make a concerted effort to resume where I left off and ignore everything post chorus because I eithef don’t remember it or didn’t see it

c) turn this into a more general fanfic blog where I’ll still do reader inserts but with more than just rvb characters

I can make no promises either way, but I thought it was only fair to update anyone coming to this blog on its status. I would’ve edited the description but doing that on mobile is unwieldy.

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Drabble Challenge #2: “We’re Going to Freeze to Death” Agent Maine x Freelancer!Reader

This has been sitting in my drafts for so long, the ending nearly killed me, but it is a New Year and I will be “Productive”. Probably. Anywho enjoy the second really mega late drabble of the day.

“We are going to freeze to death,” you muttered through chattering teeth. This was not what you had signed up for. You were here on this godforsaken planet for a simple recon mission – that was it. It was supposed to be 24 hours, mostly spent inside the large enemy base that was supposed to be there. Instead you were set down on this lovely frozen hell and within 2 hours discovered that you had faulty information; information that also specified that it would be too risky to bring radios. So now you were stranded for oh, another 18 hours or so. Or until you succumbed to the sweet embrace of death and became a human popsicle. Beside you sat your hulking partner who miraculously didn’t seem to be at all affected by the cold, although the fact that he hadn’t even bothered with the customary grunt in response was worrying.

The two of you had built a makeshift igloo once you realized that rescue wasn’t coming any time soon so you were at least partially shielded from the bitter cold, but when it was already this far below zero a few extra degrees didn’t change much. Maine had patiently listened to your complaints as you had constructed the shelter and you were pretty sure you even caught him chuckling a couple times as your complaints grew progressively more animated. Now however he was just sitting against the snow wall a few feet away from you, completely still.

“Maine? You alright?” You knew a little about cold – mostly pertaining to how not to be killed by it – and your partner’s stillness was being to worry you. “Maine!”

At that the white armored soldier stirred a bit and you let out a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t dead but you had a feeling you weren’t out of the woods yet.

“Are you okay?” You asked again, scooting closer to the man. When he didn’t respond you quickly closed the remaining gap between you and laid a hand on his arm. It was hard to tell if he was colder than normal through all that armor but you weren’t taking any chances either way. Not with Maine.

“Alright then, take off your armor.” At this Maine responded much more quickly, turning his head to stare down at you through his visor. You rolled your eyes. “Relax big guy, I’m not asking you to strip naked. Keep the body suit on, take the armor off.”

Maine continued to stare.

“Look, we need to conserve body heat or we’re both going to freeze.” You said, slightly annoyed by his lack of response. Sure Maine had never been a man of many words but you two had impeccable communication nonetheless. That’s part of the reason the two of you were paired on so many missions.

“Not going to freeze.” Maine grunted, finally turning his head away from you to continue staring at the blindingly white wall opposite you.

“What do you mean we’re not going to freeze? It is freezing! We are freezing!” You replied, throwing your hands in the air and gesturing towards your clearly frozen surroundings. In response all you got was a grunt, the one you often got in response to your more risky battle plans. In short, it was a combination of “no” and “you’re ridiculous” and while you usually found it amusing you were not having today.

“Explain,” you hissed. Rather than say anything Maine simply tapped his helmet and you grudgingly followed his instructions and checked the readout in your own helmet. It was twenty degrees out. Not negative twenty, just plain old twenty. Once that registered (and you did a few quick calculations) you let out a soft “oh”. There was no way you two would freeze to death in those temperatures, not when you had shelter and high tech insulted suits. “Well I’m cold.”

For a while you just sat there, pouting underneath your helmet and trying to ignore how silly you felt for immediately jumping to the worst case scenario. You were a highly trained agent, checking the temp on your visor should have been the first thing you did. It was such a rookie mistake. Suddenly movement beside you snapped you out of your pity-fest and you felt an arm wrapping around your shoulders and tugging you towards your large companion. At first you resisted, still not down stewing in your own embarrassment, but eventually you gave in and snuggled up Maine. After all, how many chances do you get to cuddle with Project Freelancer’s resident juggernaut? Besides, you were still pretty cold and even with armor on it was still warmer next to him than it was off in your little corner of shame and brooding. Smiling, you rested you head against his chest plate. Maybe being stranded on a desolate ball of ice wasn’t so bad after all.

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Hello there! I'm super glad to see you're active again! May I request a North x reader with the prompt 109. Shut up and dance?

Hey there poor lovely anon who didn’t deserve the long, long wait for your request to be fulfilled. The fic is up and I am very sorry about the wait. Hope you like it (even if it’s like 5 months late).

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Drabble Challenge #109: Shut Up and Dance North x Freelancer!Reader

Hey, remember when I was alive and writing and had ambitions? Neither do I, but the several mostly finished drabbles hidden away in my word files seem to indicate that that was in fact a thing. So here’s a very late thing for some poor person who requested it months ago. 

Moments of levity on MOI were few and far between, which was understandable given the circumstances. You however made a point of creating these moments, regardless of how serious your mission and training were. Which is why you were currently in the ship’s mess hall with a portable speaker serenading whoever was unfortunate enough to be grabbing a meal at the time. To be quite honest your singing voice wasn’t exactly anything to write home about but really, you did not deserve some of the reactions you were getting from the crew. You weren’t great but you weren’t that bad. Not that they were your target audience anyways.

Usually you broke out the comic relief after a particular tense set of missions – all in the name of keeping up morale of course – which basically amounted to every other week. Typically this sort of thing wouldn’t fly on such a strict military vessel but no one bothered to report you. Well, you had been reported to the Director after the first set of shenanigans you had pulled but after giving a thirty minute speech on the detrimental effects of stress and how you were rendering a public service he decided to just drop the issue. So despite the disapproving and straight up judgmental looks you would get they all knew there wasn’t any point in reporting you anymore.

Today you were joined in mission “make everyone not want to eject themselves into space” by none other than York who was in all honesty just using it as an excuse to sing some truly terrible love songs to a certain red-headed agent. In fact he was currently all but sprawled across the table where she had been eating doing just that. Normally you might be a bit miffed at being used in such a way but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have some ulterior motives yourself.

“What’s going on in here?” And speak of the devil. Just as you had been waffling over what song to choose next (you had been heavily leaning towards a particular terrible one hit wonder that would plague the minds of the crew for days) Mr. ulterior motive himself walked in. North looked perplexed but not especially surprised as he examined the disgruntled crew and aimed a look of playful disapproval at you. You simply responded with an innocent grin before fiddling with your speaker. Shaking his head in that annoyingly brotherly way that South so often complained about, North made his way over to you. “So, this is your newest plan to ‘boost morale’?”

“That sounded condescending. Are you patronizing me?” You shot him a playful glare, noticing just in time that he was trying to get a look at the songs you were queuing up. This of course necessitated the completely mature response of sticking out your tongue at the man as he feigned sheepishness.

“Of course not.” North replied, keeping up his sheepish act and doing his best to sound affronted at your insinuation.

“Mhmm, sure. Keep telling yourself that Mr. Smiley, I’m sure someone will believe you.” You teased, poking his cheek as he broke out into a grin. This was fairly commonplace for you two; light teasing, a few jokes, nothing serious. Sometimes though you swore you could see something a little beyond a friendly fondness in those pale blue eyes of his. Of course this was just a theory. A theory that was basically confirmed by a certain half-blind agent’s terrible ability to keep secrets. Hence the ulterior motives behind this little plan.

“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to singing then. It would be wrong of me to interrupt such an important mission.” North said and began to walk away just as you found the exact song you needed.

“Ah, ah, ah, not so fast.” You reached out and grabbed him just as the first notes came through the speaker. “Who said I was just singing?” North looked at you for a moment, confused, before the realization dawn on him. A look of apprehension appeared on his face and you laughed, letting go of his arm before holding out your hand to him.

“Look, I’m not so sure this is the best idea.” Oh, how you owed South for that little tidbit of information about North being a terrible dancer. Ignoring the blonde’s words you grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the tables to a more open area. A bright red blush had begun to spread across his pale face and you were absolutely loving it, grinning the whole way over to your impromptu dance floor. “R-really (s/n), I don’t-”

“North,” you interrupted him, bringing his attention back to you and away from the staring crew members, “Shut up and dance with me.”

[cili-ai]

RvB12 - Episode 5 - “Highlight reel”

I laughed so hard the first time i watched this scene and needed it on my blog

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Are you red team or blue team?

*sweats nervously* Well I mean… See the thing is… I mean I’m totally on *loud traffic noises* team. 

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Dude, that Wash x freelancer!Reader was awesome!!

Thanks, I’m really glad you liked it! Expect more soon (and please feel free to continue fueling my ego).

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Maybe, "I haven't seen you in ages!" with Washington and former freelancer!Reader? (Thank you, I really enjoy your writing!)

Thanks for the request (and the compliments)! The fic is up and hopefully to your liking. 

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Drabble Challenge #62. “I haven’t seen you in ages!” Agent Washington x Freelancer!Reader

(aka what are titles. I’m assuming most of you know this but you know what happens when you assume things so s/n stands for state name. Enjoy!)

Living after Project Freelancer was hard, made even harder by the uncertain fate of your fellow soldiers. You had never made it to the top of the leader boards, always ending up just shy of it, so you fortunately were never up for AI implantation. That made things easier when everything fell apart. Then again, maybe if you had received an AI the higher-ups may have considered letting you in on exactly what happened to everyone else. As it was you were taken in by the officials along with the other surviving members of the project and held in a cell until they could decide what was to be done with you. No explanations, no clarification, no information on just what kind of fucked up shit the Director had been doing to land you in this mess, and most importantly no indication of just who had survived the MOI crash. You didn’t even know how bad it had been, having been off on a recon mission at the time. Eventually you just accepted that they were all more than likely gone and did the only thing you could do: try to move on.

After a couple of mind-numbing months it was decided that your crimes were minimal and there was enough deniability on your part that there was no point in wasting your considerable skills by letting you rot in a cell for the rest of your life. In another couple weeks you were assigned to a sort of Project Freelancer clean-up crew intended to try and clear up the mess the Director had left. Essentially it was Command trying to cover their asses but it was better than jail. You at least had some chance of redeeming yourself this way, not to mention learning what had happened to the other agents – though you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to know.

Over the course of your time serving on this clean-up crew you did learn quite a lot about the weaponry that was being designed by your old boss and a little about what happened to your friends. Most of them were dead, many by the hand of one of your own. That little piece of information made it hurt all the more. You almost shut down when you came across a log describing what Maine had become and some of the things he had done. The one thing that gave you hope was that some of the other agents were still out there and, though you would never admit it, it was the idea that one agent in particular survived that kept you going. Agent Washington had been your favorite person to train with back on MOI, that much you’d admit to.

You two had entered the program at the same time and had hit it off immediately, often joking about how you rookies had to stick together. Even when he passed you up in the leader boards he still made time to train with you. It had always been your favorite part of the day, training with him and listening to all his stories about the other top agents. You crossed paths with them yourself on occasion but you never knew them quite like Wash did, although you did get to be pretty friendly with Connie. Wash had been such a dork back in those days and you couldn’t help but wonder if he changed since then, or if he even still remembered you. You were lost in that exact train of thought when you got the distress signal. All ships in the area were immediately ordered to respond, yours happening to be among them, and before you could even fully register the fact that Wash had been on that list of soldiers the course had been set and the ship was hurtling off towards a little war-torn planet in the middle of nowhere.

By the time you got to Chorus the fighting had ended. All that was really left to do was roundup the mercenaries and send them off to the nearest prison. So as the inhabitants of Chorus sorted out their wounded you sorted out the jackasses who were morally corrupt enough to commit genocide for some cash, all while keeping an eye out for an old friend of yours. You had already bumped into Carolina, what ensued being a rather awkward exchange that ended in her clapping you on the shoulder and telling you that she was “glad you made it out of there” to which you responded to with a surprisingly sincere “you too”. It was probably the most heartfelt conversation you two had ever had, and honestly it made you kind of wish you had known the red-head better back in the good old days when you had still thought you were the good guys.

Unfortunately a certain gray and yellow soldier still evaded you. By the time you had finished up with the mercs it was already dark – though that could really mean anything on an alien planet. Still, it felt like evening to you and after you shoved the last asshole into his holding cell you made a beeline for the little makeshift mess hall that the Chorus soldiers had set up. There were some beat-up tables that they had found in the wreckage around the temple, as well as a few that your fellow soldiers had brought out from your ship, and someone was cooking up what looked to be most of your rations over a large fire. Not that you could really blame them, these people deserved a little celebration more than anyone and you certainly weren’t against joining in. As you stood watching the revelry you heard someone approach and stop beside you. Not bothering to check who it was you continued to watch the laughing soldiers, smiling under your helmet. Suddenly, your companion broke the silence.

“They deserve this.” You almost jumped out of your skin at the sound of that voice. It was a little rougher than it had been - a little more worn down, more tired – but it was unmistakably his. Turning your head, you were greeted with the somewhat familiar view of a soldier clad in gray and yellow armor; different model, same color scheme. Same old Wash. For a while you just stared at your seemingly oblivious friend. He didn’t say anything after that, just continued staring at the merriment before you as you continued to watch him. After a while he let out a sigh and you half-expected him to finally say something to you but instead he reached up and yanked off his helmet. Back in your Freelancer days Wash had hardly ever taken that thing off, something about regulation and all that nonsense (you had ditched yours within the first week). Still you had seen enough of him without it to remember every detail. He looked almost the same at first, but as you studied him you began to notice the obvious signs of stress and exhaustion the poor lighting had masked. There were noticeable bags under his eyes, eyes that while momentarily filled with a quite kind of joy had clearly seen more than their fair share of pain and hardship. You had missed those eyes. Rather than speak you continued to take in the face you had missed so much: eyes tracing over every freckle, pausing to examine every new scar.  You smiled as he unconsciously ran a hand through his mess of blond hair, a habit of his that often was more than just an attempt to fix that ever present helmet hair.

“You really don’t know who I am, do you?” You almost hadn’t wanted to break the silence between you but you couldn’t help it. You knew there was no way he could have known it was you, not in your generic standard-issue armor, but you still couldn’t keep the teasing tone out of your voice. Wash turned to you quickly, confusion evident in his eyes and face as well as exhaustion. God, did this man ever sleep? When he didn’t respond to your question you reached up and tugged on your own helmet, pulling it loose and revealing your own face. You supposed you probably looked pretty different now too, time had a way of getting to everybody, but you had a feeling that the giant grin you were wearing was pretty familiar.

“(s/n)?” Wash’s voice came out as a disbelieving whisper and he stared at you with wide eyes, drinking in your face almost as hungrily as you had his. Finally his face cracked into a smile, a little smaller than the ones you remembered but still familiar. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Well,” you said, smile softening a bit, “something tells me we’re going to be seeing a lot more of each other.”

“You know (s/n), I think you may be right.”

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Just a little update to prove that I am totally serious about this drabble challenge: as of now I have already have one written up! I’d post it now but it probably needs some editing and as hype as I am to continue writing through the night I do have plans tomorrow so I’ll probably post it tomorrow evening.

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Drabble Challenge:

Rules: Followers send a number to your Inbox (Ask), and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

Don’t you dare say another word.

We’re going to freeze to death

I don’t mind if I do

I’ve never seen you dance before

What do you mean you’re leaving?

You drank a gallon of milk over night

Please, I’m begging you.

You don’t know how to tie your shoes?

Is a chicken really a bird if they can’t fly?

You it be a grown up, but you’re still my baby

I got fired.

We’re out of money?!?

Have you seen my stamp collection?

Fire! Fire! Fire!

You watched 4 seasons today?

Stop questioning my life choices.

You didn’t have to marry me, you know

It’s my turn to pick

It’s a hundred degrees out

When’s the last time you smiled?

Stop being such a brat

If I wanted one, I would have gotten it myself

Wanna see something cool?

I think it’s broken

This is a once in a lifetime thing and you want me to blow it off

Friends don’t last, they never last

Sometimes I just don’t want to exist

I should’ve written it down

Go eat an exotic food or something

Way to not like my Instagram post

Remember Walkmans?

He would have really loved that…

It’s a shame when things, when people, go so soon

They used to tell me I’d never amount to anything

I almost didn’t graduate

I should’ve stayed in bed

I woke up knowing this would happen

I had a dream last night about _____

She sat next to me on the bus

Just promise to never lie to me, okay?

I thought you said you were a doctor

This cost a thousand dollars?!

Foreigners…pffft

He used to be my best friend.

Look at them, their perfect tans and cold margaritas…assholes

I’m not the jealous type, I swear

I didn’t cheat!

Let me smell your breath

Did you let the dog out?

We’re taking you downtown

If you don’t like it, leave.

She’s got a way with words

I didn’t know it when I met her

It sure as hell does change things!

I remember when you were a baby!

Give me my beer, or else

You asked me if unicorns were real

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen

Why so glum?

Cotton candy is for adults too, leave me alone.

Yeah, okay, when pigs fly.

I haven’t seen you in ages!

Picnics are for losers

If I could go back, I wouldn’t change anything

Somethings are just better as memories

She was hot, admit it

When the hell did you break the vacuum?

We’re rich.

Bed. Now.

Call me that one more time, see what happens

Don’t ever call here again

Your brother told me all about it

I’m pregnant.

Happy birthday!

Apples, oranges, same thing

Don’t let it go to your head

Is it gone?

Where’s the first aid kit?

What do you mean you’re in jail?

Fight me.

Will you marry me?

stop worrying so much

Come on! Hurry!

Put your hands where I can see them

Strike 3

You’re cute with glasses

Are you five?

You have enough

Are you drunk?

Road trip!

You’ve been listening to the same song on repeat all week….

She’s your sister. You have to help her.

I owe you what?

Let’s bet.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

I could’ve gone pro

All I need is you, and Cheerios

You don’t need another dog

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth

Nobody needs fake friends

I just want somebody who’ll text first

Buy me chocolates and tell me everything’s going to be okay

Are you asking me out?

Remember that really embarrassing memory you told me to never speak of again?

I’m soaked.

He’s been like that all day

This house isn’t even haunted

Isn’t that bad luck?

Shut up and dance

*Make your own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

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Im reblogging this for the tenmillionth time because a lot of you have been requesting these again and i feel bad that you have to keep digging through my page to find this list

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I have neglected this blog for many months now but it’s about time I get off my ass and start writing again so let’s give this a shot. Request as many as you want with any characters you want (within reason). 

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Wash x reader?

That Wash x reader is finally up. Sorry about the 3+ month long hiatus. I have no work ethic or motivation to speak of. But hey, I did the thing. It’s a pretty good thing. I hope you like the thing.

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Agent Washington x Reader

Hey look, two fics in one night. I have like three different requests for Wash so expect more. This particular one takes place on Chorus pre-rescue mission while Wash and the others are with the Feds. Never fear, the much requested Wash x freelancer!reader is to come. Probably.

There were a lot of rules in the Federation Army. Not really surprising given the bureaucratic system that lead it but it’s still very important. It’s also important to note that one of the rules is that pets are by no means allowed to be kept in the barracks under any circumstances. Generally this was a pretty easy rule to follow; it was a civil war after all. Keeping another creature alive and well is a bit difficult when you’re fighting for your own life on a day to day basis. Unfortunately for you, you have quite the soft spot for the small and the fluffy. So when you were stationed in Armonia for a brief period and came across a stray cat you just couldn’t help yourself. The poor thing was starving. Like most of the cats in Chorus’ capitol it was most likely brought there to keep the rodent population down but now that the city was practically a ghost town there was no one left to look after it. Until now.

Turns out hiding a cat in the barracks wasn’t so hard, especially when most of your bunkmates were stressed out soldiers who gladly welcomed the cheering presence of the kitten. In fact, on a regular basis you found yourself having to having to track down soldiers who stole your little bundle of fluff for their own nefarious purposes, most of which involved cuddling. It wasn’t until you were transferred pack to the snowy military base that you faced any real problems. The little orange tabby, affectionately named Cat, had been easy enough to smuggle to  the base thanks to his excellent training but after that it wasn’t exactly what you would call smooth sailing. Things were much stricter there, mostly because of Locus’ presence. Rations were tighter, and sneaking food from the mess hall was significantly more challenging. Still, as a fully trained Federation soldier you were more than prepared for this daring mission.

The biggest problem actually came in the form of one man. One very important man who technically wasn’t your superior officer anyways and really didn’t need to nag you about eating properly and paying attention during training because he really wasn’t supposed to be on this planet to begin with. This man was, of course, Agent Washington. Though not technically a Fed Agent Washington, or “Wash” as he was called by the interesting group of soldiers that accompanied him, was skilled in combat. So much so that General Doyle, in his infinite wisdom, put him in charge of training. Oh how you hated it. On the other hand, you got a pretty good view on those days that high-strung blond allowed you to practice without armor. A pretty good view indeed.

Still, that did not make up for the constant lectures. Sure he actually did seem to be concerned for your general well-being but you had taken perfectly good care of yourself before he crash landed here and you could continue doing pretty damn well without him. You even went so far as to tell him so after one particularly tedious lecture on health and wellness. He did not appreciate that. It took weeks for the soreness to leave your legs after all the laps he made you run. So much for concern over your well-being. After that you kept your complaints between you and Cat who would listen patiently as you lectured him on how much trouble he caused you.

You had just gotten back from one very, very exhausting training session -which fortunately ended in you effectively evading the gray and yellow menace- and were in the middle of ranting to an admittedly disinterested Cat when there came a knock at your door. Sighing, you walked over and opened it, assuming that it was one of the other members of your squad looking to squeeze in some one-on-one cat time. Instead, you found a very concerned Wash outside your door.

“Private, I’m sorry to bother you but this is the third training session in a row where you failed to-” the blond paused, catching site of something over your shoulder. “Private, is that a cat?”

Mentally you steeled yourself for the inevitably rise octave and the shrill lecture to follow about the absurdity of keeping a pet in the middle of a bloody war and following protocol.

“Sir, I can explain-”, before you could even finish your sentence you were pushed to the side. In shock, you watched as the freelancer who had spent the last few weeks lecturing you and making your life a living hell proceeded to get down on his knees and start playing with Cat. He was practically cooing for Christ’s sake! For several minutes you just stood there dumbly, watching this bizarre scene unfold. Who would have guessed that Wash was such a cat person? After a while a thought crossed your mind.

“Sooo, what are the chances of me getting out of training in exchange for letting you play with my cat?” Wash turned, pausing momentarily in his attentions towards your feline friend, and raised a brow. For a while he just stared at you. (somewhere far away a cyan soldier felt a strange urge to shout out his signature catchphrase)

“Private, we are in the middle of a war and your training is crucial in ensuring that you live to see the end of it.” Frowning, you let out a sign of resignation.

“Understood.”

“How about we grab dinner instead?” For the second time this evening you were left dumbstruck by this man. Fortunately he wasn’t too perturbed by your silence, or by the fact that you seemingly had lost control of your jaw. Still, you were almost certain that his ears were several shades redder than usual despite the calm smile on his face.

“Sure, why not.”

[self-indulgentnonsense]

Palomo x Reader

(A little disclaimer, as much as I love Palomo I have pretty limited experience with his character. Also this fic was requested like 3 months ago. Sorry?)

Palomo certainly wasn’t the smoothest guy out there. You never had any delusions that he was, even from your very first encounter with the young soldier. As one of the more experienced, and consequently higher ranking, members of the rebel army your paths rarely crossed but when they did it tended to be an…interesting experience. Given who his idol was it really shouldn’t have caught you so off guard at first but with your reputation you rarely dealt with, well, this.

           Currently you were standing on the edge of the training area, watching as Palomo attempted to, well you weren’t quite sure what he was trying to do.

“Hey babe, did you fall from heaven cause you look hurt. I mean- no that’s not right. Is that a mirror in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Wait no, that’s not it-”      

This conversation had started out well enough, the sole survivor of green team had approached you after another failed attempt to take down Felix under the pretext of asking for tips. Given the turn the discussion had taken you were fairly sure you weren’t the only one he had been getting tips from. After another minute of watching the poor guy dig himself deeper into the hole he had created you finally decided to lend him a hand.

“Palomo. Palomo. Palooomo.” No response. Frustrated you let out a sigh. “Lt. Palomo!”

“Huh? What?” The soldier started a little, finally abandoning his painfully awkward but oddly endearing attempts at wooing you. Deciding the just opt for the straight-forward route, and hopefully avoid any other plans his Captain helped him create, you asked him the question that had been circling in your head since this whole mess started.

“Are you flirting with me?” This seemed to take Palomo by surprise, possibly because he thought it was quite clear what he was doing; and it was-to some extent. However, given that Tucker had most likely suggested this course of action, you had every reason to believe that this was just another attempt by the Captain to rid himself of his least-favorite team member and not a serious attempt to win you over.

“Well, y-yeah I guess. I-I mean, yeah baby of course it is.” Trying to play off his nervousness, Palomo attempted to lean against the nearby wall in what he clearly assumed to be a suave and possibly seductive manner. Unfortunately for him he misjudged the distance a bit. Or a lot. Any other time you may have laughed along with the other soldiers as he tried and failed to regain his footing, ultimately ending up on the floor at your feet. However at the moment you were a bit preoccupied with your own attempts to maintain your composure. Thank god for helmets, there was no way you would live down the fact that you were turned into a blushing mess by Palomo of all people. The fact remained though that you had had a small, or rather large to be honest, crush on your goofball of a comrade. Clearing your throat, you quickly brought an end to the laughter and snide comments as well as Palomo’s creative-and physically impossible- suggestions on just what they should do with themselves. With everyone’s attention back on you, you suddenly felt a lot less confident about what you had planned to do.

“Lt. Palomo, I um, well, you…” curious whisperings could be heard from the small audience that had accumulated during this whole ordeal. Gathering up what was left of your dignity and composure, you spat out “Meet me at the dining hall at 2000 hours,” before all but running back to base. For a moment all you could hear behind you was stunned silence, but that was soon broken by Palomo’s excited cheers. A small smile spread across your face as you listened to the faint sound of him bragging to his fellow soldiers about his “mad flirting skills”. Well, they did somehow work on you, so he might just have a point. Maybe.

[self-indulgentnonsense]

Can u do a RvB palomo x reader

Sure! I love that little dweeb. It might take a little bit though, college is a little rough at the moment.

[self-indulgentnonsense]

Alright,

so I’ve hit 5 followers which is lovely. I have a few things in the works, namely a caboose x reader fic, another tucker x reader fic, and a chex one. The first one will be another short one but the other two are going to be a bit longer. Hopefully I’ll have something posted this weekend but in the meantime if anyone has any requests, I’m down to write whomever and whatever you want (within reason).