JUST MONIKA.

dash only / follows from comebackquartz.

[selfawared-m-blog]

okay yikes!!! i know i just started this blog, but i recently moved my main blog to a different account so i moved this sideblog along with it. if you still want to interact, catch me over on @selfawared

[strawberry-dreamin]

I can’t stop daydreaming about you. It’s distracting me from my work but I don’t even care because I just want to be there with you so much.

[loviely-deactivated20150630]

[selfawared-m-blog]

❛ i try to suffocate feelings before they suffocate me. ❜

soft.     /     accepting.

            suffocate...    oh,    now that’s a heavy word.    to suffocate is to push away,    to smother,    to burden to the point of not breathing.    to suffocate is to kill    --    but,   she’s afraid,    to suffocate is not to destroy.    after all,    WHEN YOU KILL,    THE BODY DOES NOT DISAPPEAR.

            and,    likewise,    suffocating emotions will not make them go away.

                        ❝   yuri...   ❞    she begins,    and although she knows dearly that she has no place to be telling others what to do,    it’s as if it’s in her code to be an advisor of sorts.    after all,    what breed of president will she be if she doesn’t ?    ❝   maybe you shouldn’t do that.    things will only build up that way.    you know you’re free to talk to me if you want,    right ?    i’m always listening.   ❞

[selfawared-m-blog]

“hold me, please. i’m not ready to face the world”

soft.     /     accepting.

            concern breaches the surface of her typical facade,    tugging the corners of her lips into a small, gently gasping frown.    she eyes natsuki with genuine care and then extends her arms towards her as if she’s a package marked fragile.    a second passes,    then two,    then three,    before she finally pulls the smaller girl in for a firm but tender embrace.    ❝   natsuki...    it’ll be okay,    alright ?   ❞    the president says softly.    it’s not often they’re this close,    not often she finds natsuki being this vulnerable around her    --    she worries for a beat that something bigger is troubling her than usual.    ❝   i’m here for you,    i promise.   ❞

[goobermation]

Cover for an awesome game!

[selfawared-m-blog]

natsuki.

“  oh  ,  very funny  ,  ” she snorts  ,  shaking her head  .  “  that’s why i suggested it  .  and y’know  ,  maybe they do  .  i think that’s something i need to research  .  uh  -  well  -  ”  at her question  ,  natsuki almost considers completely ignoring it  .  “  basically  ,  it’s about these three all  -  girls schools on this hill  ,  right  ?  and there’s this star student called etoile  ,  and she’s really beautiful and looks after everyone  .  so there’s this new girl that shows up and she’s kinda…like  ,  she flirts with her a lot and it gets really corny but really deep  ,  too  .  and there’s a bunch of other couples and stuff  .  it gets really dramatic  ,  but it’s a good story  .  ”

            it’s an interesting plotline,    she can’t lie    --    for someone who has been so indifferent towards manga,    she’s finding herself quite impressed already.    just as well,    drama happens to be a favorite genre of hers.    maybe she shouldn’t have been so apprehensive about reading manga at first.

                        ❝   ooh,    i like the sound of that,   ❞    says she,    tittering a finger on the surface of a desk as she mutters the words  ‘ strawberry panic ‘  again    --    a note to self,    of sorts.    ❝   you know,    i think it’s sort of funny how people in real life tend to prefer to keep away from drama,    yet seem so engulfed in it when it’s put into words.    it’s kind of ironic,    really.   ❞

[shittyrpmemes]

* ∘ ∙ — soft sentence starters

tw for toxic relationships & self hatred  /  change pronouns as necessary

“the rain washes not just the earth, but our souls as well”

“tell me i’m cute, tell me i’m worthy”

“you imagine what you desire”

“i know i screw up a lot but please don’t leave”

“forget the entire world with me”

“i try to suffocate the feelings before they can suffocate me”

“you have a right to be here”

“the story is yet to come”

“the universe created you for a reason”

“there is an ache in my heart that never goes away”

“be gentle with yourself”

“i am a fish in a net, still living”

“for you i’d bleed myself dry”

“don’t burn yourself up to give others light”

“i love you, i love you, i love you”

“i want to kiss you until the world completely stops”

“i want to lay in a lot of tall grass where no one can see me and i can stare at the sky in peace”

“is it just me or does the whole world suck”

“i wish i could love myself”

“hold me, please. i’m not ready to face the world”

“my thoughts drip out of my skull, into my eyes & down my cheeks”

“a breathtaking epiphany surrounded by tragedy”

“i spend my nights overthinking & imagining scenarios that will never happen”

“the dark is comforting”

“keep those you love inside of you with memories”

“i’m in love with everything connecting me to this existence”

“he doesn’t consume me—i consume myself”

“i can’t bare the thought of my reality”

“are you happy with the life you’re living?”

“you are a child of the universe”

“i will ask nobody’s forgiveness again”

[massacregf]

only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me only me

[selfawared-m-blog]

/watch?v=dzR3gQSnEuE

                        ❝   oh    --    wow !    someone actually liked my song enough to do something with it !    i have to admit,    that’s really sweet.    it sounds really nice,    too !   ❞

[leafsea]

adrift // 8.20.2017

[leafsea]

a waste // 5.28.2017

[keettu]

I’m kiss deprived

[selfawared-m-blog]

exalibi.

    well, she doesn’t know much about literature, per se, but she’s impressed by the title ofpresident irregardless.

   “ really? what do you do there? ” it’s tone shows that it’s an honest question, not some sort of snobby condescending one.

            an innocent smile splits pale features,    framed by lively brown locks.    oh,    how she loves it when people take interest in the literature club !    it really makes her happy !

                        ❝   oh,    we do all sorts of stuff !   ❞    she says,    grin still plastered across her face.    ❝   well    --    maybe not that much yet.    but we do create poems to share with each other.    as for me,    i just arrange and watch over the club meetings,    make sure everything’s in order and all.    i gotta keep an eye on the others to make sure they don’t rip each other’s throats out or anything,    y’know~?   ❞

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]

[selfawared-m-blog]

                        ❝   i shouldn’t be here.   ❞

@astralbond     /     call.

[selfawared-m-blog]

                       ❝   you know,    it isn’t healthy to think so badly of yourself,    yuri.   ❞

@obsessedchr     /     call.