What Are You Thinking About?
Yesterday someone was unkind to me. In the past I might’ve blown up up at him, cried, felt like a victim. I really was an expert at that. I had a lot of practice during my childhood! But yesterday (and actully in the last few years) I was really chill. (pat on the back) Instead of getting angry at him, (because he definitely was a jerk!) I just breathed, relaxed, felt the feeling. (I’m not going to say there was no pain) then I let the thought pass by, because I knew it was not really about me. I felt really good.
But, then….I thought about it, I re-read his texts. My thoughts went to, “wow, he is so mean ”….“why would be someone be so mean to me, when I was being kind??!!” A thought I have thunk many times. I thought and thought for a few minutes. I got angry and then angrier. This was an hour after our conversation.
Even though in my logical mind I knew that if I ruminated in the negative thoughts, complained or thought over and over about my frustrations, it would evoke old anger, I did it anyway. I can’t show you the texts :/
Although this is something that I thought I mastered I slipped back into an old pattern.
*I have since forgiven myself :)
Our thoughts, especially the ones we think over and over carve deep pathways or neural patterns in our brain. In order to create new patterns, we must find new more positive ways of thinking. It takes lots of practice. As a society we have been socialized very differently and tend towards the negative so be gentle with yourself if you backslide.
This morning I woke with the phrase “think about it, think about it, think about it” playing over and over in my head.
Today I will purposefully cultivate beautiful thoughtsđź’—
What beautiful memory do you have that makes you smile? How deeply can you think about it? Can you make that memory part of your every day? What is it that always evokes beauty for you? The ocean, a baby, a field of multicolored wild flowers?
Please share your beautiful memories and thoughts of self kindness below and keep thinking about them! 💗🌸 Lots of Love, M.