that's what she said.

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

[sellbel]

My only hope and dream in life is that I hope every one out there finds a partner who understand them sexually. It can turn you into a whole new human being, and we all deserve to be our best sexual selves 👅

[sellbel]

last night me n beto talked a good bit about “when we get our place” and it makes me feel like 🦋🦋. on the one hand i don’t want to move out of my cutie blue house but on the other i can’t wait to live w my manz in the city ugh 🤩

edit: my manz is moving into my cutie blue house with me. i get everything i ever wanted 😭🥰

[sellbel]

wah im sad

it's hard not to get caught up in saying "this is what I would be doing right now" I know it makes me more sad though.

but it's hard to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays and things that should be so fun. quarantine sucks. I like to get what I want and being locked inside is making it very hard for me to do so.

[sellbel]

y’all. 2020 was supposed to be so good!!!

except now we’re quarantined. i’ve cancelled all my fun plans. and i’ve become really aware of my poor communication skills. in the past i’ve been really bad at keeping up with friendships and talking to people regularly. i get so sucked into life and distracted by everything. let me just say i love my friends. i think about them all the time. everyday. even before all of this stuff. but to other people that isn’t really acceptable, you have to put forth initiative all the time. my nice thoughts weren’t enough to keep a lot of people in my life consistently. even my close friends now that i’ve had for years, i feel like i’m just playing catching up. trying hard now but it feels like it’s too late. they got tired of waiting around for me.

and i’m so thankful to be quarantined w tito but i’m so FUCKING LONELY. he works all day from home and i sit around. then he gets off and plays video games or is texting his friends and i just sit there and wait for him to tell me something to make me laugh. we hang and cook and do stuff together but i can’t and dont expect him to give up all his time to make sure i’m okay. nobody is really okay rn. he knows i’m sad and lonely rn but i guess there really isn’t anything he can do for me. we’re stuck here and that’s that. im just really tired of feeling so alone. i need people to talk to everyday. thankfully my sister is lonely and bored too but there’s something really sad/pathetic feeling about your only best friends being your siblings.

when i stopped working during all of this i was still pretty new at my job. so i didn’t really have any close friendships yet. i haven’t spoken to anyone from there since the day we all had to leave. i don’t really talk to anyone from my old job except two people. just like ugh how does a bitch make friends it’s so hard. like am i just unapproachable or unlikeable? tito is out here with like 5 group chats and his phone is always going off and i’ll leave my phone on the side table for 4 hours and come back to it and maybe i have one spam email and a notification about moe monday or some shit. it’s honestly so depressing. depression and anxiety are simultaneously eating me alive and loneliness is just weighing me down into this bed and idk how long i can deal truthfully. i’m so tired of this already and i’m scared about what’s going on in the world and i just need some comradery. i’ve never felt like such a loser lol.

[sellbel]

how can someone (namely me) have sooooo many fucking feelings

[sellbel]

im back like a half a year later.

just to say it's so cool being welcomed into another family. my ex didn't have a family life like that. and it’s something i’ve always craved.

now I have this amazing man and his sweet fam who just feed me amazing food and dessert and tell me they're so glad I'm around. I love it. I love my life.

[sellbel]

I only post on here so I can look back on random points of my life.

im about to be 24.

I love my life. im gonna move downtown with one of my besties end of this summer. I'm in love with a man and he's the sweetest funniest most caring person and I literally ask myself every day how did I get so lucky? idk but I'm rolling with it! 10/10 recommend being with someone who makes you smile and laugh all the time.

im kinda stuck as far as school and work. I'm not doing anything rn but I'll get there.

and finally I miss my fuuuuucking friends. like my life does not feel right without Megan Taylor and Lauren in it all the time. I miss them so much some days it actually hurts. and it suuuucks. I just want them back. I was living selfishly for a while and I'm ready to go back to normal but like you also can't be MIA for months and just expect everything to be normal when you try and come back ugh.

overall though I'm really happy okay probably won't even be back here for another few months. if I even come back at ALL.

[dreamv-lle2]

*rolls my third eye*

[sellbel]

fuuuuuck i haven't fallen for someone in a really really long time

its kind of scary

[lemonlavander]

[sellbel]

you know how to treat it, you know how to eat it

[compulsive]

[sellbel]

been a minute.

i just spent a week in new orleans. it was insane. going to a concert on sunday. going to another one in less than two weeks. fam is coming for Thanksgiving. then going to chicago at the end of the month. November has a lot going on and i'm stoked.

being home is lame though. where are the snuggles when you need them?

[errrrkkk]

Visit Original Link

Say it louder, say it louder, who’s gunna fuck you like me?

[sellbel]

I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU BUT YOU LIVE FOR THE PAIN

[sellbel]

sweet horchata kisses

[syntacked]

[sellbel]

surrounded yourself with people who warm your heart and want to see you glow with happiness.