The Sellout

[sellout-shaw]

gabrieljudd:

the bus is big enough for plenty of supplies as well as passengers, so he’s trying to make a little more space.  there are already two seat benches on the ground outside of the back door, though the third one he’s attempting to remove is being stubborn.  basic bolts just screwed down into the floor bed - and from this angle he can see that there’s some kind of historical archive of gum stuck to the bottom.  but the bolt is old and has sheered - and the wrench he’s using is just spinning the thing where it sits.

there’s a muttered curse - half tempted to shoot the damn thing out ( won’t work, the bolt was too thick and he’s more likely to punch a hole in the gas tank.  which would be a spectacular, if idiotic way to go ).

hopping down from the rear door ( knees making a discernable click followed by a grimace as his body momentarily disagrees after laying still for so long ), he sets of in search of something that might be more useful – flagging down the first person he comes across -

“hey, don’t suppose you have a hacksaw?  or know who might –  the bus needs a renovation and it’s being rather stubborn about it.” 

Christian had been off on his own, enjoying the cooler summer day by sitting out in a lawn chair in the parking lot. It wasn’t the best idea, to sit out and be an obvious target, but there were plenty of people out in the parking lot taking care of the cars and other equipment that sat out here, he didn’t feel bad for just mulling around, reading a book he’d found inside. There wasn’t anything pressing he needed to be doing. 

When the man approached, Christian looked up with an arched eyebrow. “A hacksaw, huh?” he asked, rubbing at the scruff on his chin before he shook his head. “I don’t happen to have one.” 

It was a strange ask and he wondered what the man wanted with it. He hadn’t seen where he’d been coming from, wasn’t paying attention to what other people had been doing out here, so long as there were just other people. 

“But that guy in the Mustang might have one,” he suggested, having heard of the man with the cherry colored mustang who was selling goods out of his trunk. 

[sellout-shaw]

photo-prophet:

Christian wasn’t who she expected to turn around and see, but she lowered the gun once she realized it was him.  “Sorry,” she said, with a laugh matching his own, “ I didn’t realize it was you.”  Her eyes moved to the flashlight in his hand, and she smiled lightly,” I wasn’t going to be gone that long.”

She returned the strap on her gun to over her shoulder, and turned to keep walking the way she was originally going, motioning with her head for him to join her.   Things with Christian were a little more complicated than the rest of them, and it had been a long time since they had talked.  Most of their interactions, understandably, focused on their past, but that also seemed to just make things a bit more awkward whenever they did talk.

“I figured there was no harm in scoping the perimeter,” she said, although that wasn’t initially her full intent, it made sense.  Kill two birds with one stone, getting the ache of travel out of her bones and help them secure their area.  She glanced over at him with a smile and added jokingly,” I’m glad the only thing I’ve encountered so far is someone I like.”

They walked a little further before she continued,” I’m genuinely enjoying my time in this group, and it’s nice that we’re on the move again.  I get a little anxious staying around in one spot too long.”  She glanced over at him, figuring she would steer the conversation from their past to the present, something far more important at this point.

Christian grins at her as she explains what she was doing out here. Scouting the perimeter and he falls in step with her as she goes. She tells him that she’s glad the only thing she’s come across is someone she likes and that’s enough to keep the grin on his face as well. They’d had their history and while it may complicate things in the present, right now it doesn’t seem to be getting in the way between them. 

When she tells him that she’s enjoying her time with the group, he’s glad to hear that as well. When he’d first invited to her to come join them, he’d thought she’d fit in. He thought she’d find the group to be pleasant and something she could rely on. Just as he’d come to rely on it as well. 

“Glad you’re liking it,” he tells her as he falls into step beside her. Ready to thwart anything that should come their way. “Are you making any friends along the way, or...?” he trails off, because he couldn’t rightfully say that he was any better off. There was no real confidante that he felt he could talk to. That was his fault, mostly. Not knowing how to do anything but keep people at an arm’s length. 

[sellout-shaw]

photo-prophet:

Kathryn hopped down the steps of the bus and onto the gravel outside.  The drive had been rather uneventful for her, but a bus was far from comfortable when it came to travel.  Grateful for a chance to stretch her legs on solid ground, she stretched as soon as the fresh air hit her, letting her sore muscles relax.

She paused, scanning the area they had stopped, part of her just taking it in and part of her looking for something that could indicate danger.  The area wasn’t much to look at, but not much was these days.  A few of the group were busy going through supplies in one of the other vehicles, but there wasn’t much going on outside of that.

She made her way over to what looked like a worn path, and figured she’d take a short walk.  She had her gun, and no plans to go far, so dragging someone along with her didn’t seem too important.  She started on her way, her attention on the path in front of her, looking for movement that could warn her of danger in front of her, but also admiring the landscape of the area.

She only stopped when she realized she could hear the sounds of something behind her.  It was unnerving to think that perhaps she was being followed by something other than another of her group, and she tried to turn her head only slightly and lengthen her peripheral vision enough to see if there was someone out of sight behind her.  Her hand instinctively on her gun at her hip. 

The steps continued, and not willing to be surprised from behind, she spins around with the gun up,” Stop!”

The drive had been uneventful. A simple drive and one of the many stops along the way. The sun was setting and Christian was looking forward to getting a good night’s rest, sore and a little tired from sitting while driving. 

What he didn’t expect was to see Kathryn heading off on her own. For a moment, he thought about letting her go off, what she did was her own business. But there was a regret there because at one time they had been close. At one time he thought they would patch up whatever rift he’d opened up between them when he’d gotten chased off by the hunters they’d been traveling with. Maybe there was still hope for it. 

So he followed after her, grabbing a flashlight in case it got too dark and heading down the worn path she’d started down. It wasn’t smart to go off on your own in a place like this. Wasn’t smart because they didn’t know what was around here. Didn’t know what monsters were lurking and where. But he followed after her anyway because at least two people walking off on their own was better than one. 

It took him by surprise when she whirled before he could call out to her. He jumped a little, hands instantly coming up before he let out an awkward laugh, covering his heart for a moment as he smiled at her. “Don’t shoot,” he asked of her. “You like me, remember?” 

[sellout-shaw]

rachelxvanallen:

“Rachel,” she offers in turn, thinking over his words for a second before rolling her shoulders. She scoffs at his words, somewhat amused, “At least you’re honest about it,” Rachel observes, holding out the medical bag to him and grabbing a small notebook from her back pocket. “Think you can help with inventory? Need counts of everything– down the pill.” Some may have called it neurotic but in this day and age where nothing was certain and everything was a commodity, especially medicine, Rachel didn’t mess around. 

“We need to know what we have and what we’re finding. Need consistent updates on what we use to.” And not a pill can go missing but she doesn’t think she has to say that. 

Christian nods when she gives her name in turn and gives a small chuckle when she calls him on his brutal honesty. Though, then she’s giving him a task that has him a little surprised. It’s a long term thing, and a very important thing. It’s the kind of task that required a certain of level or trust and Christian can’t help the beaming smile he gives her in return because it’s exactly the kind of task he was looking for. Something that he could make himself useful by doing. 

“That sounds like something I could help with, sure,” he nods his head, taking the medical bag she holds out for him. “Just tell me where to start.” 

[sellout-shaw]

katexhamilton:

She’s glad it’s dark and harder to make out expressions than if this were the middle of the day. Because she’s certain her face has confusion written all over it, confusion and conflict and then she’s glad for the light jacket she’s got on– concealing the marks on her arm. They’re still foreign things but she’s gotten used to their presence on her body even if they make others….flinch. Not her kids, though– they were always so fascinated by the black running up and down porcelain skin; stains that wouldn’t be erased. 

Kate blinks at his reassurance? Could it be called that? Neither seems to know what to do and she doesn’t really exactly expect the following words from him. She doesn’t think he’d wish for her to be anything but okay but…she’s under no illusion that he’s thought about it much either. Maybe they’re both glad that another person isn’t dead, and it doesn’t matter who they are anymore. 

The invitation is met with incredulity as she looks down again because a whole group meant people and people meant questions and Kate didn’t want to share her answers. What’re you doing on your own? You’ve been on your own this entire time? Just traveling by yourself? She doesn’t even want to think about her answers. Kate clears her throat, looking back Christian uncertainly, this time letting her eyes draw over his face. She’s still in disbelief that he’s there. And she’s surprised that he still can make her stomach knot with uncertainty, even after all this time. 

She knows who she is but he always made her uncertain and now more than ever because he’s supposed to be dead and he’s not and she’d have otherwise wrapped him in a hug but she doesn’t think that’s allowed anymore, even after the world ended some things didn’t change…..some things couldn’t change. “I….uh….maybe that’s not a great idea…” she’s a stranger and she knows how people react to strangers these days and despite everything, she doesn’t want him to get in trouble because she knows how strict groups can be, having encountered a few herself the past year. 

“I can just–” Kate falters, gesturing back to where she’d come from. Head back. She’d grab her things and the car she’d commandeered months ago– enough to fit several small children too. It was running low on gas but she could make it a few miles to the next stop, she thinks, refill there and then continue her aimless wandering. It’s not really a plan but it’s all she has.

She starts to tell him that it’s not a great idea and his stomach drops at that. Now that she’s here and alive and one of the only links he has to a past life, he can’t stomach the idea of not doing everything he can to make sure she stays okay. To make sure she stays alive and the best way he knows to do that is to have her stay with the group. A group that has kept someone like him alive this long, at least. 

“No, hey,” he starts, shaking his head. “This is a really good group. They’re good people.” He means the words and he wishes he had better for them. But he’s still caught off guard by even her being here. By her being alive and he’d like to blame some of it on being tossed around like a rag doll just moments before. “I mean, they took me in, they’ve got to be okay, right?” he makes a self-depreciating joke. 

He can understand the hesitancy. Especially if she’s been on her own for all this time. Or worse, if she hadn’t been on her own. She doesn’t give that as a reason not to join up, so he can only assume if there was someone she’d been traveling with, they’re not longer in the picture. It strikes him just how much emotion that brings up in him. Just how much empathy for her situation, how much he wants to make sure she’s okay and that means he wants her to stay somewhere safe, with a boat load of people who could keep her that way. This group. 

Another thought occurs to him. That maybe it’s him. Maybe she doesn’t want to stay because despite the world being different, despite everything that had happened since them, they’d still had a bad break up from her perspective and he doesn’t want to seem too selfish in thinking it, but it had to be a little bit difficult for her now. If he was struck with so much regret just at the sight of her, he couldn’t imagine what kind of emotions were running through her. 

“At least come in for a little while? See what they’re like?” he tries instead, because that seemed like the sound thing. No need to make any commitments right now, no need to say one way or another. Just come in and see what it was like and she could make a decision later. “We could get you some supplies if you need it.” 

[sellout-shaw]

A year ago, before the world ended, what did you imagine your life would've looked like right now?

“Well I would have made that trip to Aruba. Would probably still be working that case or would have just gotten done with it. I’d probably be on to the next big, high profile case and around this time specifically? We’re probably looking at a nice vacation. Maybe a European one.” 

[sellout-shaw]

katexhamilton:

She’s glad he’s okay beyond this instance–– glad he’s alive. It leaves a strange feeling in her chest because if he’s alive maybe others were too. It’s a foolish thought and she knows this but seeing Christian right in front of her is jarring. It’s cold water waking her up again to the world she’s become numb to the past weeks. 

Kate isn’t sure what to do now. The ringing in her ears has subsided and she’s searching for words because they seem to evade her. Of all the things she expected to happen when she came running, this wasn’t one of them. She rubs an arm now, not sure if she’s cold or not or if it’s just everything hitting her at once. Christian’s alive. How many times has she thought of him? How many times has she told herself that it’s good things ended when they had or it would’ve been so much harder. “You’re welcome.” 

He is. She’ll help anyone who needs it and he just happened to be in need when she was around. She’d have done the same for anyone else. She had done too. “I just…” she clears her throat, “I’ve been traveling….” Kate doesn’t know what else to call aimlessly making her way to California–– not too concerned with actually getting there so much as she was concerned with keeping herself moving.

Christian keeps talking and Kate’s taking in what he’s saying but she’s unable to think of any appropriate response. She doesn’t even know what she’s feeling in that moment so the would-be-teacher brushes hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear and gestures slightly between them. “I’m sorry…I don’t….” she dips her head for a beat and then looks back at him, “I don’t really know what to say right now.” There’s a nervous laugh that follows, barely there for a beat before it dissipates and her eyes dance anywhere but Christian, unable to latch onto him fully; perhaps doubting he’s there at all. Maybe she’s really snapped this time and that rage inside her has corrupted her mind so fully. But maybe not.

Again, she is glad he’s okay–– there’s a weight lifted at the sight of him she never knew was even there–– relief that someone from before, someone who’d meant something to her wasn’t gone for good. But beyond that? Kate doesn’t know. This isn’t ever something she expected to happen. 

I’ve been traveling. That’s the answer he gets and he’s not sure what else he expected. Maybe for her to tell him something different, for her to have some golden key to all of this and to come from a place that was untainted by the hell gate and the hell minions that had come to earth. It was an unfair expectation to put on her, he knew it. But it was hard not to when she was one thing from his old life that had cropped up and looked like she was in mint condition. Still beautiful as ever. 

“That’s okay,” he says with a small exhale of breath. She says she doesn’t know what to say and he doesn’t blame her because for once, neither does he. Doesn’t know how to fake his way through this because it’s a situation he never thought he’d find himself in. Looking at a woman he’d had a relationship once, one that he hadn’t been fully committed in and just wishing things had been different. 

He’s not the same man he was back then and there’s an apology on the tip of his tongue, but it seems out of place and too random to be said now. So soon after they’d found each other and she’d saved his ass. It leaves him speechless because he doubts she’ll believe him when he says he’s not the same person. None of them are, but the person Christian was could have easily sustained themselves in an environment like this. Taking advantage of others, gaining their trust, proving his worth so they’d keep him around and it occurs to him that’s exactly what he’s been doing the past few weeks. 

But he was a different person. 

“On the risk of making this more awkward, I’ve got to say that I’m really glad you’re okay,” he tells her genuinely, meaning the words. No matter how they’d ended things or what he thought of her, he wasn’t going to, for a second, wish an untimely death or worse on her or anyone from his previous life. 

Pushing himself back to his feet finally, he brushed himself off, looking over at her with another sort of awkward look before he nodding towards the building. “You want to come inside for a while? I’ve got a big whole group with me. Food, shelter, security. I’ll introduce you around.” He starts talking more normally, more like himself. Something casual in the way he says it that falls back onto something he’s more used to. 

[sellout-shaw]

rachelxvanallen:

She gives him a once over the way she usually does: clinically– as if she can see everything she needs to before making a judgement. It’s not exactly true but works well enough that the surgeon doesn’t stop doing it. Not even this long into the “end times”. Rachel clears her throat, nodding at him, “What can you do?” 

A blunt question because it’s something that will have a black and white answer. If he’s got useful skills then he can help and if he doesn’t, then Rachel’s not going to train him. If she wants to help people and earn her keep, she won’t have time to train others in the same way. Still, she’s actually willing to hear him out because they’ve been light on help and with supplies ever in flux and new sicknesses and injuries creeping up every week, another set of hands won’t hurt them. “Christian, right?” They’ve met before, barely long enough for him to make an impression but his name is better than nothing. 

“Christian,” he confirms with her. He’s not quite sure what he’s expecting to get out of this. Just that he’d come in here wanting to offer his help where he could. Whether or not she accepted it was up to her and he didn’t really feel like grovelling at her feet to get what he wanted. He’d been so intent on trying to fit in and prove himself to people, he felt like he’d done enough of that in other instances. 

“Well, I’m a good listener,” he starts out with, giving a smile and he feels like this is more of a job interview than what he’d intended it to be when he came in here. There are other things he’s good at, just nothing when it comes to helping with injuries or anything along those lines. He doesn’t know if she even wants the help, so he doesn’t go in to much more. “Look, I don’t have a lot of skills that you’d probably find useful. I know that, I’m not going to try to sell something I’m not.” 

[sellout-shaw]

katexhamilton:

Kate’s glad he’s okay in the sense that he was the person she was trying to help in the first place and even if it wasn’t him, she’d still be glad. But she’s also a bit in shock– staring at him with those eyes as she tries to process the fact that he’s here…he’s alive. 

What’s she supposed to do with that? How is anyone supposed to react to this turn of events? But despite everything that’s happened since the world ended, despite the shock she’s stil processing, Kate’s still Kate. She may have black marks and a fire in her chest but she’s not gone yet and that’s what has her grabbing his arm gently to help him up. The creature threw him far and hard and she imagines he’ll be bruised at the very least. You’re alive. 

“Takes more than the world ending to keep me down,” it’s true but it’s also easier to say– to joke than fall down the rabbit hole of questions that were starting to brim. She’s thought of him since everything happened–– the way things had ended were more painful for her than for him but that doesn’t mean she stopped caring. Sure–– by the time things had changed, she’d already moved past them (barely) but that didn’t mean she stopped caring about someone she genuinely loved, even if that love was no longer there. Just because someone wasn’t in your life didn’t mean you forgot about them so easily.

Eventually with her new responsibilities as a surrogate mother to several children, those thoughts faded and she accepted that Christian, along with her mother and father and close friends were gone. She’d had to let go of them all to keep moving forward-– to carry the weight of the children’s fear and pain in her chest to the point there was no longer room for her own. No longer room for anyone but the living. 

And now she’s helping him and it’s surreal–– like helping a ghost and she wants to ask questions but she feels silly doing so. Like she shouldn’t bother. Like she doesn’t have a right to anymore. Because she doesn’t. His story was and is his own, and while she can still feel that concern–– that hope that he’s okay and will remain that way, she doesn’t say anything to indicate that. In fact, she’s not sure this isn’t a dream. 

“Are you okay?” She finally asks, letting go of his arm once she’s helped him, pulling back rather swiftly and wrapping marked arms across her torso, for protection or support she couldn’t say–– maybe both. “It threw you pretty hard.” It’s what she’d have asked anyone but hates how it sounds because it’s him. “I…I have some stuff in my pack,” left a handful of yards back from where she’d come run. 

It’s surreal, looking at Kate standing over him. Surreal, because like everyone in his old life, he’d thought they were all gone, dead. Thought that the end of the world had brought about the end of everyone he knew and loved, including her. But here she was, standing over him and asking him if he was okay. The pains and aches were forgotten as she helped him to his feet and for a long moment, he could only stare back at her. It felt so surreal. 

“No, yeah -- I’m...- I’m good,” he stumbles over his words, something unaccustomed for him to do. She’s wrapping her arms around her middle and he has to resist the urge to hug her. Out of a sheer gratefulness that she was alive and that she’d had his back just now. That in itself brings him to a stop, not moving to do as his instincts tell him to because he’d been working on being better. He’d been working on knowing his surroundings and being prepared for anything. 

God, if she hadn’t been there...

There’s an awkwardness to the reunion now, because Christian can’t tell if she’s simply being nice or if she truly cared. He’d never questioned it before. Never questioned that she had been wholly devoted to their relationship, because she had been. She’d made that abundantly clear when they’d been together. That it was love on her end. Again, he feels guilt because it never had been on his. At least, he doesn’t think it had been. 

When she’d left him, he’d told himself he hadn’t cared. Told himself that it didn’t matter, he could find someone else just as easily or that he didn’t need someone. His career had been taking off, had sky-rocketed, in fact, and the only reason to have anyone close by, or anyone near him, had been for the public eye. He wondered how much of that was a lie to himself. How much of it he had to convince himself to feel instead of the loneliness he’d initially felt when she’d walked out that door. 

“Thanks,” he says, because that seems relevant right now, in the moment. That she’d killed the vampire like it was nothing while Christian had been sprawled out on his back on the ground. He doesn’t know where she learned how to do that, but it probably comes from a similar place as his new found talents. Out of sheer necessity. The world was changed, different now, and people had to change along with it or get left behind. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “I mean, not that it’s a bad thing you’re here. I’m really, really grateful you showed up when you did,” he nods his head towards the corpse behind them. 

[sellout-shaw]

katexhamilton:

She hadn’t really thought that far in advanced to actually facing the vampire, all she could see was the figure she’d been trying to warn tossed like a rag doll in the night. Kate ran faster, eyes catching a shadow of face in the moonlight before she spun to face the vampire, just in time for it to lung at her.

It was instinct that took over next– just like it always did as she threw her hand up, both defensively and offensively as the creature convulsed with the pain of a broken back and while there may have been a point in time when Kate wouldn’t have come within ten feet of a vampire–– things had changed and so had she. The red-head grabbed the hunting knife from her hip, one hand still trained on the creature as it tried to fight the pain she was causing it. 

The pain was enough to keep it distracted as she moved closer and this time she was the one who lunged at it, practically tackling the monster the way she wished she had when it’s kind took Avery from her. She dragged the knife across it’s throat, ignoring the blood spurting before she rammed the blade into it’s chest, it’s scream filling her ear as the blade made contact with the heart. But it wasn’t enough. 

The moment she sunk the blade into it’s chest, she didn’t want to stop. She rammed it in again and again and again, seeing only red until minutes had passed by and she was covered in blood that was neither properly the vampire’s nor hers and she blinked. Hands were shaking as they always did and she could only stare at the corpse she was on, bloodied knife still in her hand as her heart seemed to slow down though the rushing in her ear never subsided. 

Kate might’ve stayed there for who knows how long when she heard a rustling from behind and she remembered the man. The thought alone was enough to jerk her into action again, standing swiftly and spinning to locate him in the darkness again. She didn’t think twice before leaving the corpse now that someone needed help and she was by his side in a beat. Except that, despite her sincere intention to help him, the sight of the man’s face had her frozen and she stared before she could even form words…or….just a name. “Christian?” 

It happened so fast, Christian had trouble paying attention to what was going on. One minute he’d been by his truck, the next he was on the ground. Laying there for a moment, all he could do was make sure nothing was broken, make sure nothing more than bruises and a lumpy ego were left over. Nothing felt like it was broken, nothing felt like it was too bad and he found himself sitting up afterwards, looking up at the vampire that had thrown him around. 

It isn’t until he actually takes a look who is fighting the vampire that he realizes he knows her. He watches with wide eyes as she stabs the vampire because it’s nothing she would have done before all of this. It’s nothing he’d ever thought he’d see her do and it’s not someone he’d ever thought he’d see again in his life. Even before all of this, before the apocalypse, he’d thought he’d seen the last of her and that had been her choice. 

“Kate,” he says when she turns, leaning down to help him up. It’s a gesture that gets frozen as soon as she sees him, as soon as she recognizes him and he doesn’t blame her. They hadn’t separated amicably. It wasn’t a good break up. She’d called it off and he’d agreed to it because at the time, he’d been dating her simply for her status. The kind of thing lawyers did, find a trophy wife that would look good on their arm when they went to parties and galas and other outings where the image was everything. 

He couldn’t deny there’d been attraction there. He wasn’t a complete scum bag, or so he likes to tell himself. He’d cared about her, just not the same way she’d cared about him. Yes, he’d been after the power of her father. Yes, he’d allowed her to think it was love. But Christian hadn’t known how to do anything else. Hadn’t known how to be in a relationship and especially not one like the one he’d had with Kate. 

There was instant remorse there when he saw her, because he wasn’t the same person he used to be and he knew that she was one of those parts of himself that he was trying to overcome. One of those parts of himself that he was trying to make better, to be a better man. 

“You’re alive,” he breathed when he saw her. 

[sellout-shaw]

rachelxvanallen:

Rachel glances over at the man–– she recognizes him from before–– the group that had come to the air force base. She doesn’t remember his name but nods anyway as she loops the medical bag over a shoulder and walks over to the nearest flat surface. “Needed help?” She arches a brow at him and sets the rather weighty bag down, “As in offering yours?” 

She doesn’t know what he did before or what he’s been doing since but she’s not all that ready and willing to accept help from just anyone. It’s easy with Masha now because the blonde knew what she was doing and had experience before all this shit went down. Anyone else has to be useful immediately for Rachel to consider them. It’s still that same pride in her that she had during her residency, except now it’s impractical. If help’s offered, it’s always best to accept it but, a year in and that still doesn’t come easily to the surgeon.

“You sure they can’t use you on patrol?” There’s a schedule now– one she’s part of, but she doesn’t think people would argue if someone volunteered for an extra shift. Maybe he’s already asked and that’s why he’s here now. “Not much to do here…just finding supplies really,” she pats the bag, not opening in front of him because she’s had enough experiences with people trying to snag medication to be wary, even of someone who seems well-meaning. Especially with someone who seems well-meaning. 

“Yeah, as in offering mine,” he nods his head in confirmation. There’s a smile that follows because he knows how it sounds when she says the words. That she doesn’t want the help, or doesn’t need it, but he’s here offering it anyway. Anything he can do, he’d been trying to go that extra mile for people. He had someone, Kane, who was teaching him how to shoot now so he could be more useful on patrols. But he wanted to do more. 

He wanted to help out wherever he could. It didn’t have to be anything medical related, if she didn’t need help there. But maybe she needed him to run errands for her while she focused on something more suited for her time? Maybe she needed someone to watch her back while she was climbing on chairs to make sure that nothing or no one came along and accidentally bumped her down? Anything, he was looking for anything. 

“I could,” he agreed. “I’ve already picked up a shift or two,” he tells her. “Was looking for something else to keep my occupied.” And maybe that was it. Maybe that was the reason he wanted something to better himself, to give himself something to do. A goal to achieve because being a hot shot lawyer wasn’t an option anymore. He needed something new to aim towards, a new venture on the horizon to start his trek towards. “Feel free to turn me away if you don’t have anything. I was just checking.” 

[sellout-shaw]

Are you taking Bryce's side over Daniel's?

“In the case of who took it too far, yes. I think pulling a gun was a little excessive. In the long term -- I’m not taking sides. Bryce said it was over, I’m willing for it to be over. Meaning there’s not a side to take.” 

[sellout-shaw]

kane-e:

There’s an obvious shift in Kane’s attention at the mention he was a lawyer. It was so normal. In a startling way. He’d barely focused on what anyone did before because unless they were military or in the medical field it had little use now. In fact, all it does is spark a childish pang of envy.

‘Lawyer’ was the sort of job you could hear a smart kid pull out as a dream job.  Kane never truly had one of those. Ever since he was taken away on his thirteenth birthday working hard and success were all defined by Jed. It’s a stupid, pointless exercise to feel jealous. But he is.

“Interesting takeaway,” he jokes. Of all the things to take from that job, he’s sure not pointing a gun you don’t intend to shoot was low on the list. “Can’t say my job’s come in handy at all,” he flashes a smile. Kane hadn’t kept any of the tact he learned from years of handling petty office disputes. In fact, he thinks it made him even less patient with people.

Christian’s quick to grow somber and it’s easy for Kane to follow suit. It’s admirable, that want to be better and the clear will he possesses to go through with the work to get there.

“Takes all sorts to be a functional group,” he says, even if it’s an old sort of longing for a normal life making him say it. The sentimentality stops there, even if it has to be an intentional thing on his part.

“You ever want help with things just find me, man,,” he pauses, thinking of what could be useful. Beyond knowing how to shoot the gun, it’ll be helpful to get him shooting at moving targets. “We can work on getting your aim right on those bottles. Later, find a couple Revs for you to practice on. Maybe figure out if there’s anything else I can help you with beyond shooting.”

“Of all the things, right?” he jokes, grinning over at the man. He knew being a lawyer meant very little in this new world. Where law and order no longer existed, where people made up their own rules and a group could establish, at any time, a new world order. He was lucky to have come into this group, he thinks. Because things were running like the laws still existed. No murder, no theft, nothing that went against common courtesy and survival. 

Glancing over at the man’s comment, he’s quick to ask, “What was your job, if you don’t mind me asking.” It’s a strange thing to hear, because from the way he knew how to shoot a gun, he’d have thought him to be in law enforcement or military. 

There’s an offer there of more help and Christian is sure that he’ll take the man up on it at some point. He’ll not be one to pass it up, especially with what the man says they’ll be practicing on. Something more than stationary targets and bottles. Something that required a little bit more finesse and Christian is all for the live target practice. 

He’d killed things before. A boo hag in a police station. A skeletal horror in the monolith. Those were his two successful kills and he hadn’t used a gun on either one of them. It had been a mirror to kill the boo hag and a knife to kill the horror. His gun had just never come into play, but he thinks it’s because he’s just never been really good at it. Lucky to have even gotten a gun from someone at some point. 

Now he was lucky to have someone willing to invest in him. Willing to see that he knew how to use it, could defend himself and possibly others. There were people in the group that he didn’t want to see hurt and anything he could to to help prevent that would be appreciated. 

“Hey, thanks, man,” he says, sincerely. “I really appreciate any help you can give. I won’t let you down.” 

[sellout-shaw]

rachelxvanallen:

“Hey…” Rachel didn’t look up in greeting as she felt someone enter the room, “if you need help–– just…give me a sec,” she was currently balancing on a step stool on top of a rolling chair she’d locked, reaching for a bag she’d spotted in one of the backrooms of the travel center. 

It might’ve been easier to knock the entire unit over and have the bag fall at her feet but given she didn’t know what was inside, she didn’t want to risk breaking any bottles or losing any potential medication. The bag itself looked pretty official, like maybe someone before them had been here with medical experience or access to medical supplies. Real ones and not just what could be found on a scouting mission. 

She wasn’t too optimistic about it’s contents because unless something had happened to whomever the bag belonged to (which was possible), she didn’t think someone would leave something like this behind. But….leave no stone unturned so there she was, catching the strap between two fingers and tugging it toward her before the weight of it fell forward fully. Thankfully, her balance wasn’t at risk, in part due to the mark on her hand and in part due to the fact she hopped off the step stool-rolling chair just in time to catch the bag in her arms without it banging against the wall or falling to the ground completely. It felt heavy enough to be promising and while she wanted to rummage through it right then, she glanced over at her company, somewhat expectant look on her face, “….you alright?” Usually people only sought her out if they weren’t or if someone they knew wasn’t but maybe that wasn’t the case here. 

Now that the group had stopped again, Christian was looking for another way that he could help out. There was always the patrols he could take part in, there was scouting he could do or supply runs and those were all good options, but he wanted more. He wanted to help out any way he could. 

Stepping into the room, he thought an opportunity had arisen when he saw the woman trying to get a bag down from somewhere. He moved to help, or at least spot her because the way she was balancing wasn’t at all safe. The last thing they needed was for their doctor to fall and break an arm or a leg. Or god forbid break her neck trying to get something down from there. He stayed just behind her, in case she fell, up until she got down and caught the bag. 

“Nice catch,” he tells her and at her question, he gives a shrug. “Was just coming around to see if anyone needed help.” This time, he didn’t need anything. Didn’t need a bandaid or anything for his own self. He was getting better at protecting himself, better at taking care of things and so far, the ride had been smooth without any snags. He didn’t know how long they were going to be at this center, but he was going to make the most of it while they were here. Especially now that he didn’t have to drive all day long. 

[sellout-shaw]

katexhamilton:

Kate had been on her own for nearly a week and a half. That was the only reason she lingered on the outskirts of the travel center’s perimeter when she saw people and cars closer to the building itself. Conversely, it was also the exact reason she stayed away: there was an uncertainty that had settled in her since the death of her last child and the rawness she’d felt holding onto that little girl’s body still clung to her like claws digging into her back. To the point that she could only see red in the days following Avery’s death. She was adrift. There was nothing to anchor her to before…to anything. They were gone. Seven young lives stolen from her one after the other, each a single nail in Kate’s would-be coffin if she could ever find a place to lay herself to rest. 

Each day she opened her eyes felt like another day the universe was taunting her. Reminding her that she was alive and they weren’t. Sometimes she woke with such a rage in her chest she could hardly breathe, lungs fighting for air against the angry fist encircling them. But it was this very rage that kept her alive….somehow. It was a type of anger that was both holy and sinful at once. She couldn’t explain it, she couldn’t control it but it was justified. She had to believe it was each time it rose up in her. The longer she was alone, the stronger it became and even a week and a half into this solitary death march, Kate felt different. It wasn’t just the marks anymore– black patterns dancing up and down ivory skin– it wasn’t just a feeling. She was different. And she didn’t know what to do with that.

But some things didn’t change so easily. Like how she couldn’t not warn someone when she saw something about to happen–– when she saw something that could hurt them. She’d been laying low all evening since coming upon the travel center, making sure not to be seen or heard and maintaining a solid distance from where anyone might be. It was night now and that’s when she saw someone draw nearer than she’d have liked…..probably scouting or, who knows, just taking a piss.

Whatever they were doing….they weren’t alone for long. Kate’s vantage point allowed her to see a figure in the distance and she was paralyzed for all but a moment when she saw the figure’s head turn toward the unsuspecting individual. In a matter of mere seconds, it was moving faster than anything good should’ve been and the teacher couldn’t just stand back and watch someone die. Because that’s what death looked like now: fast moving and unexpected. And so, those seconds between processing what she was doing and actually doing it were nonexistent as Kate jumped up, long legs propelling her forward as she called out to them, “behind you!”  

Christian didn’t mind the travel center. It was a far cry from the comforts of the base. In the end, he’d decided to go with the group, instead of stay at the base with the people who wanted to make it their permanent home. He’d started with this group, he was going to see it through to the end. There were people here that he wanted to make sure made it through this world alright and while the sentiment may not be reciprocated by a whole lot, he didn’t mind. The sentiment on his part was there. 

Though, it would have been nice to stay there and help them set up their own law and order. Help with trials and laws and just something that resembled normality a little bit more than this endless road trip. 

It was night time and he was heading out to the truck to make sure everything was still in check. He’d been assigned to drive one of them and he took his role seriously, making sure that everything was in order, making sure that his supplies were still snugly inside somewhere. 

It wasn’t until he heard a shout that he knew anything was wrong at all. He turned first towards the shout, seeing a flash of red hair and something that looked familiar, before he turned towards where she was shouting to. It took him by surprise, completely. Something moving fast and too quickly for Christian to even realize he should probably pull his gun. It hit him in the back, slamming him up against the truck with brutal force. The wind knocked from his lungs, he tried to reach for the gun that was at his side. 

He was slammed into the truck one more time and then tossed to the side like a ragdoll. He hit the pavement with a thud and laid there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. 

[sellout-shaw]

If you could, would you prevent the apocalypse from happening if it meant you would go back to being the person you used to be?

“I hate who I was. But...we’re talking billions of people suddenly displaced and fighting for their lives or worse. I think that’s an easy decision to make. I would do that for people.” 

[sellout-shaw]

kane-e:

Christian listens to him. As he watches the other man, Kane can see the gears in his brain working to take it all in and follow through. Follow through is exactly what he does.

It takes a second, but in the face of that grin of pure delight, Kane’s happy to return it with something nearly as genuine. “I’ll refrain from ruining the moment by saying it’s beginner’s luck,” Kane says with even humor to the words he won’t be ruining this moment for the man. He does realize that Christian has the good sense to point his gun at the ground. Already a step ahead compared to others.

The next one goes down only he’s hitting the fence as opposed to the bottle itself. Close enough, though, to where he had aimed in comparison to before. “You’ll be shooting at bigger targets than bottles, so that still would’ve been hit,” Kane says. It’s a more optimistic sentiment than he truly holds – accuracy was better, anything else could lead to complacency, getting sloppy with shots – but, he can pretend to be a little more easy-going.  It’s almost relaxing.

That seems to have been enough for Christian, and for being a brief impromptu bit of help from Kane he thinks it went better than he could’ve planned. He’s thanking Kane and his instinct is to wave off the thanks. There isn’t a pause for Kane to say as much, only a shrug and a hand loosed to literally wave it off, while Christian continues.

At first, he’s nodding. With a large group, it was probably easy for people to slip up. Not so much need for learning how to protect yourself if there are others willing to do it for you. It’s a childish way of thinking, something he’s glad to hear Christian’s realized he’s better off knowing how to look out for himself.

Still. He doesn’t like where that sentiment finishes. He’s exaggerating, probably, even if it’s a very real possibility. This group didn’t seem to have that attitude, though. It’s not one Kane would be able to live with personally.

“If this group were the sort to kick people out, you wouldn’t be the first to go,” Kane jokes, there’s more genuine humor to him now he’s not focused on Christian and his shooting practice but purely on the conversation, “One of your people accidentally set off her gun and nearly shot me in the foot. ‘least you already know to keep a gun you’re not planning to shoot pointed at the ground.”

“I’m happy to help. Might as well share what I know.”

Christian lets out a chuckle when Kane says he refrain from calling it beginner’s luck. At least the man had a sense of humor and Christian was so glad he’d decided to walk up and start to teach him. Maybe he should ask him for more? Ask him if he wouldn’t mind helping out again some time, though maybe it was a waste of bullets to try and spend too much time on it? He wasn’t really sure what the protocol was. Eventually the bullets would run dry and they’d have to restock. But fresh from the base, they had everything in stock that they needed. Now they just needed to make it last. 

There’s an optimistic sentence coming from the man, that he’ll be shooting at things bigger than a bottle so it would still be a hit. Christian’s not sure if he should be happy for that or not. He didn’t want a hit, he wanted accuracy. He wanted to make sure he hit the target he was shooting because it may be the difference between a shot in the shoulder and a shot in the heart. Though he wondered if it did really matter, when they were just going to be shooting at monsters. 

At least he hoped that’s all he would be shooting at. The idea that he might have to pull the gun on another human being didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t think he’d be able to do it. So far, for as long as Christian was with the group, their encounters with other people seemed to be harmonious. He’d heard tell of an encounter before he showed up that hadn’t been too pleasant, but nothing since Christian had gotten here. Most of their fights had been with monsters. 

Most of them demons.

Kane’s quick to assure him that he wouldn’t be the first to get kicked out and when he says why, Christian lifts a brow, trying to think of who might have made a mistake like that. “Eh, I was a lawyer. I spent enough time around cops and armed individuals to know you don’t point the gun some place you don’t want to shoot,” he claims, though he’s not sure if he can attest that knowledge to being a lawyer or just being around criminals and criminal cases like that. 

“I’m glad you kept your foot,” he jokes with him. 

The moment grows a little somber after that and not because of anything that was said between them. Mostly it was Christian thinking about the group that did kick him out. The group, or the pair, of hunters that had put their guns to the back of his head. He still didn’t know what to fully make out of it and he wasn’t in a rush to experience something like that again. 

“I just want to be better. Not even to...not get kicked out, just...” he shakes his head. “Just to be better at this.” He waves his hand around the world. “I just want to be worth the effort.”