Anyone else feel like their anxiety is the only thing keeping them alive?
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@semisurreptitious
Anyone else feel like their anxiety is the only thing keeping them alive?
Surviving for the sake of surviving
My battle with depression is fucking exhausting. And I don't know why I bother fighting it. I win some battles but can I actually win the war?
Now I'm going through the days only so I can survive them. What's the point? Am I going to be fighting for the rest of my life? Why? What good can come of it? Nothing can really make my depression go away - things can bring me happiness but it's often temporary. And all I'm doing is wearing myself thin. I take days to recharge but then they turn into nights like this one - where I feel completely deplete of a reason for staying alive. I don't know what I'm doing here. And no one understands and or can really empathise with this. It seems like everyone finds a reason to live eventually - maybe I just haven't found mine yet. But what if I never find it? I can search the moon and stars and Netflix and people and therapy and drugs and myself but I don't see hope. I see struggle, constant and unshakeable. And I'm tired of struggling. I'm so tired. The more I read about depression and mental health, the more hopeless I feel.
I just want to die. Is that so bad?
*sees a feather on the ground* *small gasp* a gift
*slam dunks a pumpkin* fall is life
Pro-lifer: Would you have wanted to be aborted
Me: Yes
my two moods
me, interacting with another 20+ year old on tumblr:
via weheartit
@maverick-ornithography i felt like i needed to try my hand at the most convincing sales pitch i’ve ever heard
Maybe I’m alone in feeling this way but for me the real sign you’ve made it as a Writer On Tumblr is when somebody loves one of your posts enough to perform and record it. Thank you for this, it has really brightened my day :) (image source [X] , since it got lost in translation so to speak)
This runs through my mind so often I’m fairly certain I’m going to come out from anaesthesia muttering this
how exactly do you get into the feet pic selling business
put your best foot forward
A good first step is selling your sole
None of you are funny I just want foot money
A dose of realities (TW)
I'm depressed as hell
I've been cutting and hurting
My brain tells me several times a day to kill myself
I'm ashamed of my illness
Depression is real
My emotions are volatile
I'm resigning from work
I'm broke
I'm going to the UK in a few weeks
I'm anxious about what my colleagues will think
I'm ashamed
My scars burn and I regret them, even though I know I can't stop myself
Roslan cares about me
My friends care about me
I find it hard to care right now
I'm afraid the medication isn't working
I feel alone even though I'm not
I'm trying my best (which my brain always tells me is not enough)
Seeking help is hard
I wish I was dead because suffering with BPD and depression has made life an endless torture
I will continue trying
I scare myself and hate what I'm becoming
When did barely functioning become so hard?
I really don't know if I believe in love anymore
Anything from the heart.
Happy Together(1997)
The Como Park Zoo and Marjorie McNeely Conservatory