𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑.

you   are   going   down   a   path 𝚒   𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝   𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠  .

[senatuse]

I’M OFFICIALLY MOVING PADME TO MY MULTI   -   SHE’LL BE FOUND HERE.

[senatuse]

   i’m considering moving padme to my multi again,   just bc i’m not really here these days  <3   and i’m not having too much muse.

[senatuse]

commandsvictory​   )     ahsoka.

          part  of  her  always  wondered  what  might  have  happened  if  she’d  asked  him  to  come  with  her,    to  abandon  all  that  they  had  stood  for  and  believed  in  exchange  for…      something.      a  new  purpose,    the  chance  to  live  by  their  own  worldview  and  beliefs.      but  she  was  not  selfish  to  ask  such  a  thing  of  him,    and  she  could  not  bare  the  sting  of  his  rejection  when  he’d  be  the  one  to  walk  away.      a  good  man;    A  KIND,    LOVING  MAN.      one  who  would  not  abandon  the  war  or  his  men  or  anyone  who  he  could  stand  to  help.      and  it  had  chipped  away  the  piece  of  her  that  would  always  see  him  as  her  master,    that  would  always  think  of  family  and  see  only  his  face.

          if  she  had  not  failed  him,    then  she  had  forgotten  him.      in  her  quest  to  find  herself,    in  forging  a  new  life  where  he  was  of  that  she  had  lost  her  faith  in.      but  those  words  do  not  leave  her,    and  the  torment  she  feels  within  is  kept  silent,    only  revealed  in  the  uncertainty  of  her  gaze.      but  she  smothers  it  behind  another  sort  of  confusion,    brows  drawn  together.      “of  course,    padme.    but  who…”      secrets.    one  of  which  she  had  gazed  at  with  her  own  eyes,    witnessing  the  very  love  her  master  had  for  the  senator.      was  there  more?      something  she’d  missed  in  the  months  of  her  absence?      “forgive  me,    i’m  not  sure  i  follow.”

     anakin was a good man,   the man that was now lost.   anakin skywalker was no more,   and it was a tough one to swallow.   it hurt every day,   and the pain hadn’t lessened with time,   anyone who said so had been lying.   she still felt the wound every day,   aching and bleeding inside of her chest.   but there was still some good,   still something left of anakin.   his children.   she knew he would’ve wanted them to know his padawan,   the girl who had become almost like a child to them.   even if she wasn’t,   even if she was now older,   more mature and filled with the same pain and heartache as herself.   left with the gaping wound and question:   why  ?    and the never ending:   could i have done more  ?

       but it hadn’t been ahsoka’s job to see what was going on.   not as much as it had been the job of his very own wife.   she should’ve known,   should’ve protected him.   padme had failed him,   more than anyone else could say they had.   and she now had to live with that,   had to look at the twins,   knowing their father was never coming back.       “   anakin   -   ”      she wasn’t sure how to do this.   it wasn’t many people whom she had introduced the two toddlers to.   but this was the right thing to do,   it was what anakin would’ve wanted.      “   i was pregnant when he died.   ”

[senatuse]

machinevxid​   )     anakin.

He should be shocked, shouldn’t he? Right? All the lies his master told him begin to unravel with nothing but a poke of an admission, so thin and delicate- like a needle. His son, alive and well- trained in the force. His wife, broken and grieving- but alive. (IT SEEMS, IN YOUR ANGER- YOU KILLED HER.) Lies. All of them. They must be, right? 

The walls begin to creak and bend, frustratingly succumbing to the supernatural rage of Darth Vader. However, he remains as well composed and calm as he had before, as if he has mastered his rage and focused his temper into a weapon worth fighting with. Only the hollow breathing of his mechanical lungs echo over the creaking of the walls and of the grates on the floor. 

He watches Padme. The realization all to clearly begins to set in. Palpatine did not lie; What he told Vader was true- from a certain point of view. Such a weak way of thinking- much like a jedi. A half truth. Vader had killed Padme with his anger, but in the end- it was her grief that dealt the final blow.

(JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER WE CAN END THIS DESTRUCTIVE CONFLICT AND BRING ORDER TO THE GALAXY!) “Padme,” He finally speaks. “Our Son, Luke.” That’s right, Luke Skywalker is not Anakin Skywalker’s son… he is Darth Vader’s, through and through. That is the hill the machine abomination will die on, be buried on- even. “I must find… Luke…” Vader looks down at her, but cannot fall to a knee and join her. “He is the sword that will strike down the Emperor, Padme.” 

     but she snaps out of it at the mention of their son.   so he knew.   he knew that their children had survived the birth.    that he had nothing to worry about back then,   that they were all okay.    wiping the tears off her cheeks,   standing up once more.   taking a look at what her husband had become.   what he had been turned into,   and she wonders if any of the sweet loving man is left behind all of the metal.   if he really thinks luke can save them.   but they hadn’t wanted this,   they had never wanted their children to be the chosen ones for anything.

     “   and is that what you want  ?   ”      somehow she has issues believing that,   after hearing so many tales of everything  darth vader  had done in the name of the empire,    a small shiver runs down her spine at how many had lost their lives in this battle.   so many lives and she couldn’t stop it.       “   why does it have to be him,  anakin  ?   ”       (   being the chosen one never helped you   )     it hadn’t brought him any peace,   and it ended up turning him into a weapon.    not a fate she wanted for her son.

     standing up,   taking in a deep breath.       “   i won’t let him get hurt,   and i won’t let him join the dark side.   ”       the words of a mother,   more than a wife.   because padmé was both.   even when she had thought that she would never get to be either.      “   our son deserves more than that life.   ”       watching him,   hating that she couldn’t see his face.   that she wasn’t able to see if he agreed,   or if he was lying straight to her face.

[senatuse]

machinevxid​   )     anakin.

Something in him snaps. Either from the frustration of having his requests dismissed, or because he grows eager to find his son. Perhaps the face of his dead wife is an equal parts motivator for the Machine Man. He breathes, long and slow… filling the soft void. The words he echoes out sound, for the first time in a long time, like his voice. He doesn’t hear the robotic voice… he hears his own voice- Anakin Skywalker’s voice. The Voice of a dead man.

“Is it not obvious already?” The Dark Lord spoke. Although they were in a bunker amid a relatively wet and lush climate, Vader suddenly smelt the ash and cinder of Mustafar. Perhaps it was because his soul knew what he was saying and wanted him to stop. Perhaps it was because the tiny flicker of light representing Anakin Skywalker- inside of him was suddenly being snuffed out by the technical abomination of shadow and hatred that was Darth Vader.

“Because she was my wife.” Vader spoke. Suddenly, the harsh fires of Mustafar turned into the cold air shafts of Bespin, and across from him was Padme Amidala’s phantom, and the presence of Luke Skywalker emanated off of the Shadow’s aura. “…I was Anakin Skywalker.”

     it is the sound of a grieving widow that leaves the former queen and senator.   a sob that breaks her before she can stop it.   knees shaking as her hand grabs out for anything to support her,   coming up short and falling to her knees.   looking up at the masked man   -   her husband.   anakin had died,   hadn’t he  ?   obi wan had left him at mustafar,   left him to die,   and now this man was telling her that  he  was anakin skywalker.   with the proof that he knows,   he knows she was a wife.   hands shake as she presses them against her thighs.

     the desperation is her eyes isn’t something pretty,   it is not the strong hold of a leader,   it isn’t the loving gaze of a wife and mother.    it is the desperate look of a grieving woman,   who had been lost for years.   home so close,   yet so far away.     “   that can’t be.   ”       are the words she mutters.   except she knows it now,   knows it in her heart.   no one knew anakin had a wife.   no one but anakin and obi wan.

      “   it’s  me.   ”      voice cracks as she looks up at him once more,   still fallen to her knees.   as if the air is being sucked from her lungs once more.   as if she was back on mustafar,   begging him to come home with her.      “   i  am padmé amidala.   ”      a reveal she had done very few times for the past years,    only to grow fewer and fewer.       “   ani  ?   ”

[senatuse]

skysith​   )     anakin.

what happened to him?     the question is a loaded blaster against his temple.   he doesn’t feel the ripple of shock run through her,     at least not the kind of shock that would follow his return from the dead.    she knew he lived,    but for how long?       did kenobi tell her of the master’s sin on mustafar?    of allowing him to burn on the banks of hell instead of running a saber through his heart?     has kenobi twisted her so far from him with the awful truth that she now feels nothing but disgust running through her?   and what of their child?            so many questions race through his mind,       threatening a migraine should he continue to wallow in his own head.        he doesn’t answer his wife.       instead the snap hiss of his respirator is the only sound between them.        vader just stares at her,    entranced by her ethereal beauty as he always had been.        skywalker’s memories were hazy in their return,     but she is crystal clear.

vader knows he needs to shut this down immediately,      he thought all vestiges of anakin skywalker had been ripped from him but at padme’s sudden reappearance,      he can feel the jedi beating against his cage.          [    just a few moments longer,     then i’ll leave.   ]      a shuddering breath translates as a gurgled wheeze through the voice modulator,    &   with a flick of his fingers the shackles around her wrists   &   ankles fall the floor with an audible clank.           he reaches out to her hesitantly,         the tips of his cybernetic fingers grazing lightly across her cheek.        his damaged nerve endings have been crudely sown into his mechanics,       but their responses were dulled.        “   you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you.   ”

     her heart is in her throat as she watches what’s left of her husband.   her husband.   darth vader really  was  her husband.   her husband,   a part of the empire’s rise,   now on his knees.   everything inside her screams,   as if  she  was the one set on fire.   but she moves closer to him.   leaning into the touch of his fingers,   even if they are not of flesh and bone anymore.       “   i missed you.   ”       it’s a hoarse whisper as tears starts to roll down the rebel’s cheeks.    hands and ankles now free of the chains.      maybe it’s stupid,   maybe it’s reckless,   but those thoughts doesn’t stop her from throwing her arms around his neck,   nestling her face against the metal of his suit.

     for six years she had been a shell,   even around the twins.    the twins.   did he know about them  ?   did he know that they existed and were healthy and happy  ?     would she tell him about luke begging her to be allowed to race  ?    or leia’s love for her mouse droid   ?      a small choked sob as she pulls back.   she wasn’t sure she would make it off this ship alive,   but she got to see him one last time,    even if it kills her.      “   oh,  anakin.   ”      a small sigh as she sits on the floor of the cell,   taking his hand with both of hers.   holding it tightly.

[senatuse]

broughtbalance​   )     anakin.

“ don’t look so worried,” hand reaching out, thumb smoothing the furrow between her brow. “ I’m alright , “ just for the hell of it, just because he could — he trailed his fingers along the side of her face in a comforting gesture . even if it hurt like it, it didn’t mean he had to worry her or more importantly - worry her enough others would get suspicious about them. especially since the odds were how it would only get worse for her when he left again.

“ my lady i promise you, if there was something to worry about, i’d tell you. “ lest it interfere with the mission at hand. pushing himself up with a little grunt, carefully leaning his forehead against hers for a few mere seconds of risk, to whisper the words between them, “ I’ll handle it .”

     there was always something for her to worry about.   especially when he said otherwise.   he was hurt,   overworked.   she’d beg him to take a day off,   if they hadn’t been in the middle of a war.   a war that needed jedi anakin skywalker.   lips press together when he trails those skilled fingers down her skin,   drawing a sigh from her lips.       “   how would you have me look then,  anakin  ?   ”      a soft smile as she opens her eyes to look back at his face.   a grown man looking back at her,   not the padawan boy who had stolen her heart.

     leaning her head against his,   nose bumping his cheek as she sighs.      “   and i assume you wish for me to pretend i didn’t hear that grunt too  ?   where are you hurt  ?    did you let a med droid look at you  ?   ”      she knew the answer to that already,   she didn’t even need to ask.   he never did,   unless death was staring him directly into his beautiful eyes.       “   come with me,   let me take a look.   ”

[senatuse]

craveschallenges​   )      mara.

“ it depends, ” she started, “ are you still going to be able to pay?” business was lucrative, and for members of talon karrde’s organization, being paid was rule number one. EVEN IF IT MEANT HELPING HER TRACK DOWN LUKE. leia organa solo was easiest, due to her connections with the new republic, that was going to be the quickest part. “ if so, no. i can’t say it does, ” though she had to wonder if the twins themselves knew their mother was alive. alive and attempting to help protect them against looming remnants of the empire. “ no thought to the official channels?”

    “   i’ll pay,   if you find lyke skywalker.   ”      skywalker.    the name still tugs at her heart.   what could have been,   what should have been,   what would have been if they had seen what was coming,   if they had played their cards differently.   if she hadn’t been so blind,   maybe she could’ve saved anakin.   maybe darth vader would’ve never been born,   and she would’ve never been split up from the twins.     “   the officials can’t know about this mission.   i’m paying extra for your discretion.   ”

[senatuse]

broughtbalance​   )     anakin.

and just like that, his resolve falters , gaze jerking a little too sharply back at her. you can’t save everyone, anakin. and in that tone he sees another face; sympathy commingled with the resignation anakin would never truly listen. he huffs out a laugh, more exhaustion then anything — pointedly avoiding his wife’s eyes. eyeing the wall beside her instead, and shoulders tighten from where he sits, with effort his eyes soften into a look more recognizable- one to cause less concern, and meet hers, “ you know how many times I’ve heard that ? “ he tries for lightness, yet the shadows in the back of his mind whisper words he’d tried forget, in a voice he knows . palpatine’s. you can save everyone, anakin.

and didn’t he owe it to her, to the republic they both served and honored to try?

“ i owe it to them. whatever lives I’ve saved don’t outweigh the ones I’ve lost,” and he cannot forget them. whatever burden it presented to his weary soul and durasteel bones — he owed it to them. and he would not let that guilt be lessened even by her, the one who held his heart with her- even when she left him. even when he left her. and not for the first time, the idea of losing her is enough to strike him silent .

“ i should be enough, what’s the point of being the chosen one — if i cannot save everyone ? i should be able to. i know i can. if I’d planned better, been better i would do it,” murmurings that would get him admonished in the temple no doubt , as if he were still obi wan’s troublesome padawan, still a learner — but here, he’d laid down everything. he shakes his head again, and lets out a sigh , “ I won’t be late again.”

     words that were meant to be comforting,   a reality check he needed so desperately,   ended up wounding more than anything else.   she sees it in the way his blue eyes avoid hers.   the urge to reach out,   touch his cheek.   look into his eyes and show him,   that she simply wishes to help lift some of the weight he has placed on his shoulders.     “   maybe it’s because it’s the truth.   ”     she whispers,   taking a step closer to him.    it was war,   impossible to save everyone.   and she knows this already:    he will die trying.    it will eat him up,   take out the last bits of joy that’s left inside of anakin skywalker.

      taking another step closer,   resting her hand on his chest,   right above his heart,    and her own seems to sing:    how much pain do you carry,  lover  ?      instead she offers him a tiny curve of her lips.    he would fight till his last breath,   it was something she admired about him.   but it didn’t come without a price.    she could see it in the dark under his eyes.    the sleep that never caught up with him,   the way he’d fidget.   and now  ?   now he takes on the responsibility of everyone   -   because of a fate the jedi have bestowed on him.   the chosen one.   it was more a curse than a blessing.    padme knows that it has never brought him anything good,   never brought along a good night of sleep or a heartfelt laughter.   both things she had noticed become fewer and fewer over the last weeks,   months.      “   you don’t  owe  anyone anything.   you do your best,   but everyone in war knows this,  anakin.   war comes with sacrifices and loss.   some we can’t save.   chosen one or not.   ”

     a soft hand moves from his heart to his jaw,   the gentle touch of a lover.    of someone who cared.   not about the prophecy or the title,   but about the man behind it.   the man who was suffering.    her husband,   her heart.       “    you always do your best,  anakin.   no one is meant to save everyone.   not even you.   ”

[senatuse]

skysith​   )     darth vader.

there’s no doubt about it,     its her face.             her beautiful,       angelic if not slightly weary face staring at him from the cold glow of the holo.       unseeing,    but knowing    &    wise in a way only she seemed to posses.          his wife,     his padme.        alive    &    well only a level below him in his own brig.           vader’s breath hitches as a static roar fills his ears,          drowning out the explanations from his general on how she came to be captured in the first place.        ‘   …  rebel scum …  took out five of our men  …  identified as former queen of naboo and senator padme amidala  … ’        the sound of her name,     spoken with such disgust   &   venom has him striding off the bridge,    a harshly barked,      “ don’t follow me.    ”     left in his wake.          he can idly feel the confusion and trepidation of the men witness to such an uncharacteristic display,           but its tuned out as vader reaches out with the force.

he feels her almost instantly,       her presence in the force a tidal wave of nostalgia and agony it causes him to stumble slightly.     gently,     so as not to startle her,    he pokes her through the connection they once shared.      anakin used to do this during the clone wars as a way to let her know he’s safe    &    thinking about her.        the memories choke him harder than the smoke of mustafar ever could.

vader almost the rips the door of her cell apart in his desperation to see her,    &   the moment her startled eyes meet his masked ones,        his knees fail him and he falls before her,    like zealot at the altar of an ancient goddess.       “   padme —”     he manages to choke out,          flinching at the mechanic sounding drone that fills the room.             the door behind them falls closed   &   they’re alone     ;    husband   &   wife,        for the first time in 6 years.       “   how   ——-   how are you alive?    ”               ​

     caught.   caught and now locked in one of the empire’s ships.   not just any of the ships,   but darth vader’s ship.   wrong,   wrong,   wrong.    anakin’s.   she had heard it from obi wan.   anakin was alive.   and he was working for the wrong side of history.   it tugs at her heart.   even if she now has something more important to return to.   the twins.   her mind keeps circling back to them,   if they’re safe or worried about her.   if they’d notice she didn’t come on time,   or they’d just assume she was out saving the world.   if she’d ever make it home again.   arms cross in her cell,   chained up by the scum troopers that work for  him.   wrong.   it felt wrong,   all of it.   maybe she’d get to see him.   ask him what went wrong,   how he could’ve become so lost.   so far from home.

      and then he enters,   and her heart stops.   she felt the poke.   something anakin would do before.   something reserved for her and her husband.    eyes look up,   she’d heard about the suit.   the thing that kept him alive now.   but she had never seen it herself.   once he’s on his knees,   she almost drops to his side,   knees against the metal floor.   hand touching his arm.     “   i  -   ”      she wasn’t sure how to explain it.   she knows about his hunt of obi wan,   isn’t sure he’ll take it lightly that he was a part of her saving.     “   i could ask you the same,  ani.   ”     the nickname she had loved so much,    had whispered countless nights beneath the stars when it had just been the two of them together.      “   what happened to you  ?    ”        even if a more pressing quotes should be the one on her tongue:     are you here to end me,  lord vader  ?

[senatuse]

jediburden​   )     anakin.

while he knew this would happen, he wasn’t sure when … the timeline all a mess, but he also knew that the end was also near, and that he would have to take down the sith lord before it was too late so that, this time around, anakin remained. his blue eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked at the woman who owned his heart, who has been the owner of it ever since that faithful day on tatooine, thinking that she looked even prettier. was it the pregnancy glow? he was unsure, but this was a sight he would never forget.

he didn’t have much time to say anything to reassure her as she was already jumping in his open arms which were quick to wrap themselves around her middle, making her twirl around him before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “ you’re going to be the best mother there is, my angel. “ and him? well, he’d worry about how to tell the jedi order later. for now, nothing else mattered than his little family that was finally growing and taking form before his eyes.

     if she was going to be the best mother,   it would only be because she was doing it with him.   with the man she loved and adored.   someone who had swept her off her feet and let her know that it was okay to want something for herself too.   even if she hadn’t expected this.   not so soon,   not right now.   maybe one day when the war was over,   once there was peace within their galaxy.   now they had a war and a baby on the way.   shaking her head,   trying to push the thoughts away,   as she twirls in his arms.   nestling her face against his neck after their kiss.

     for home would always be with him.   wherever he was,   her heart was at peace.   and she knew that this baby would be loved,   so loved.   by both of them.     “   and you will be the most loving father to exist.   ”      she whispers,   kissing his cheek before pulling back to look into his eyes,   smiling as she watches him.      “   are you happy  ?   ”

[senatuse]

commandsvictory​   )     ahsoka.

          the  sense  of  not  having  done  enough  would  never  leave  her,    no  matter  how  much  she  knew  it  to  be  true.    a  breath  slips  through  parted  lips,    eyes  burning  with  the  feeling  of  tears  she  has  not  allowed  to  shed  since  this  all  began    (as  if  it  would  help  anything  to  cry  for  the  already  dead).    sadness  has  carved  itself  into  her  heart,    bearing  the  name  of  everyone  who  had  been  taken  from  them,    but  none  was  more  prominent  than  his.    her  touch  reminds  ahsoka  of  him,    every  part  of  her  does,    and  she  looks  to  the  other  with  a  sorrowful  gaze  because  of  it.

          “but  i  failed  him,    padme.    when  i  should  have  been  at  his  side,    i—”      she’d  run  from  a  life  that  no  longer  fit  within  her  worldview,    expelled  from  the  jedi  order  and  betrayed,    and  when  all  was  right…    i’m  asking  you  back.    but  ahsoka  turned  her  back  on  him.    him,    who  mattered  most  to  her.    she  shuts  her  eyes,    head  bowed.      “i  kept  thinking  that  maybe  there’d  be  a  day  when  the  war  was  over,    and  things  would  be  different.    that  he  could  be  happy.”      away  from  the  duty  that  ate  away  at  him,    a  place  where  neither  of  them  had  fully  belonged.    now  there  was  nothing,    only  them  and  the  legacy  he’d  left  behind.

     the jedi order hadn’t been good for anakin,   and she had been too blind to do anything about it in time.   before he had been manipulated and twisted by the world,   into someone who wasn’t her husband anymore.   a small sigh,   and a pat on the former padawan’s back,   before padme wraps her arms around her.   bringing her close to herself.   ahsoka reminds her of anakin,   of the good man he was.   trying to do the best for the both of them always.   the least she could do now was to make sure ahsoka didn’t blame herself.   that there’d be a world where she’d smile when she remembered anakin skywalker.

     “   you didn’t fail him,   ”     not anymore than padme had done herself.   not anymore than the jedi council who were supposed to protect him.    her body leans closer to the younger one’s when she speaks.   a day when the war was over and things would be different.   hadn’t that been what they all had been dreaming about  ?   hoping for  ?     “   there’s someone i’d like you to meet,  ahsoka.   if you want to.   ”      voice is soft.   anakin’s children.   the twins,   they should know ahsoka.   and she should know the happy piece that was left of him in the world.      “   anakin and i,   we had a secret.   a lot of secrets,  actually.   ”

[asgrony]

bonding

[nowadayz]

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 2005, dir. George Lucas

[senatuse]

glorytragedy​,   anakin skywalker.

         he kisses her, soft and gentle, caressing the back of her palms with his thumbs. her hands were always so soft, smooth, and fit into his perfectly, if they only ever held hands, he would be well-satisfied.    “ i’ll keep it safe and warm for you, senator padmé amidala. you have my word. ”     

     lips press against his own.   fingers slowly sliding into his lighter hair,   letting them give a small tug on the strands.      “   i wish you would not call me senator when you kiss me.   ”      a small whisper as she presses her lips back to his before pulling back,    with a small gasp for air. 

[senatuse]

queensdecoy​,   sabé.

"Next time you plan on risking your life like that, warn me!" Sabé snapped, she had one job and that was keeping her senator and best friend alive.

"At the risk of sounding like Captain Panaka. You're going to be the death of me, Padmé!"

     “   i did what i had to do,  sabé.   ”       her voice is soft,   but still firm.   her job as a senator included taking risks.   how was she supposed to do anything less when even her husband was out and risking his life  ?      “   i am sorry if i frightened you,  friend.   but i knew what i was doing.   ”

[gaabrielrules]

This is how it should have been 😭💔

⭐️ Art by Twitter: dn_stardust ⭐️