[sencha29]

@the-devil-wears-zara <3

[theambitiouswoman]

"If I wouldn't do it to them, why are they doing it to me?"

Because they're watching you do it to yourself

The way we allow ourselves to be treated becomes the standard we teach other people to follow. Every time you ignore your own needs, excuse disrespect, abandon your boundaries, or accept less than you deserve, you're showing others what you'll tolerate

People don't always treat us the way we'd treat them. They often treat us the way we consistently treat ourselves

Now, why you're in that position is a different story. Maybe it's what love looked like growing up. Maybe it's fear of being abandoned, people pleasing, low self worth, or patterns you've never had the chance to question. There's always a reason, but there's also a way forward

The relationship you're willing to have with yourself is the relationship you'll often invite from others

[theambitiouswoman]

I’ve actually crossed an arc where I no longer want to be understood by someone. I realized it stemmed from a lot of other things. Like one for example is being accepted and that came from being told to be watered down my whole life and the ripple effects of that

You start explaining yourself before anyone even asks. You overthink how you’re perceived. You apologize for your excitement, your opinions, your ambition, your emotions. You become hyperaware of taking up too much space

You begin believing that love and acceptance are something you have to earn by becoming easier to digest

You crave the intimacy of being understood because, for so long, understanding felt like permission to exist as you are

Until one day you realize that freedom isn’t finding someone who finally “gets” you. It’s giving yourself permission to stop shrinking, even if they never do

For a long time, I thought being understood was one of the highest forms of love. But I've realized my attachment to it came from somewhere else. If someone finally understood me, it felt like proof that I was acceptable as I was. But that's a heavy thing to ask another person to carry. Now I don't need someone to perfectly understand me in order to feel close to them. They don't have to see every layer of me, interpret every thought correctly, or validate every part of my experience. I've realized that peace doesn't come from finally finding the person who understands you. It comes from no longer needing your existence translated to feel worthy of being loved

Being accepted even in the places where I'm misunderstood matters more

[theambitiouswoman]

Become the version of yourself who is aligned with the life you want

[theambitiouswoman]

What isn’t right for you will always feel hard to hold onto. You’ll watch it slip through your fingers no matter how hard you try and your instinct may be to chase harder, prove yourself more, or become someone you’re not just to keep it. But sometimes what keeps leaving isn’t meant to stay. The things that are truly aligned with you won’t require you to abandon yourself, betray your values, or break yourself just to hold onto them. Understand that this desire stems from something internal in YOU that you’re missing or desiring and the other person in this case is a personification of that. It’s not about them! What is meant for you may still require effort, patience, and growth, but not self abandonment. Not self betrayal. If keeping something costs your peace, your identity, or your self respect, it isn’t the right fit. What is meant for you shouldn’t require you to lose yourself in order to keep it, ever!!

[theambitiouswoman]

Unfortunately, it’s true that when you become “self obsessed” the world starts paying more attention to you

By self obsessed, I don’t mean thinking you’re better than everyone else or making everything about you

I mean becoming deeply invested in your own life. Prioritizing your growth, your health, your goals, your peace, and your happiness. Building a life that excites you instead of constantly wondering what everyone else thinks

Ironically, the less you chase attention, the more magnetic you become. People are naturally drawn to someone who knows who they are, has purpose, and isn’t looking for validation from everyone around them

So maybe “self obsessed” isn’t the right word. Self connected is

[theambitiouswoman]

Become the version of yourself who is aligned with the life you want

[polish-lolita]

[kosmogrl]

[bxbs]

​

[theambitiouswoman]

[haverst]

source / Haverst

[sacred-portal]

[soundcarvings]

Put yourself at eye level with animals often

Let the body speak

Refuse Mediocrity

Tell all of your past friends and lovers that they saved your life

Always embrace solitude

[drunkwhenimadethis]

Found this lovely table in an astrology book

Through the Looking Glass: A Search for the Self in the Mirror of Relationships by Richard Idemon

[sencha29]

[wetheurban]

For the sake of your mental health, let people think what they want. Their fiction is not your truth.

[theambitiouswoman]

If leveling up bothers you, it’s probably because you’re imagining that next version of yourself in an environment you outgrew a long time ago. Ofcourse it feels uncomfortable. Ofcourse it feels irritating. Ofcourse it feels unfair. You’re trying to expand while mentally staying in a space that can’t hold you anymore. Growth doesn’t feel natural when you’re still attached to places, people, and patterns that were built for your old identity. You’re not afraid of leveling up. You’re afraid of what it will require you to leave behind