Pepsiman was a swole and lonely ghost, running through the mall on his way to do errands. He was trying to decide what clothes to buy and wear. He went into Hot Topic, and he found that they had Pepsi brand graphic trees and let out a huge smile. "Yes! I've always wanted Pepsi brand graphic tees!" He was happy. Just as he he tried to buy one, the other customers screamed! That's right, he remembered, he was a ghost with the Pepsi logo stretched over him like a poorly fitting texture. Realizing he would never be able to buy Pepsi brand graphic tees without people screaming at him, he began to break down in tears right there in the middle of the store. "Do you need some help?" He looked up, vision blurry from his salty salty pepsi tears. There was another man, shredded beyond belief almost as swole as he was... maybe more.
It was Cocaine Colander! Cocaine Colander tenderly takes Pepsiman's hand and pulls him to his feet. "You look upset. What's wrong?" He inquired, attentively. "It- i-it;s jsut that- I" Pepsiman sniffled so hard. He was so sad and lonely that his hands being held even by someone he hated so much as Cocaine Colander made him cry harder. His pecs rippled with every sniffle. "I'll never be able to buy this Pepsi brand graphic tee from Got Topic because I am a ghost." He said it, croaking like a frog from his despair. Cocain Colander chuckles, shaking his head patronizingly. "Pepsiman, you have always been a fool. Just steal it. You are a ghost, what are they going to do? Send the ghost cops after you?" Pepsimand realizes that Cocaine Colander is right! He is a ghost, and he can do whatever he wants. There is no such thing as ghost cops!
Cocaine Colander punches him in the face. "I have always hated you so much, you stupid idiot rival of mine. Die in a ditch with your terrible Pepsi brand graphic tees." This turned Pepsiman's despair into rage. He had only pretended to comfort him just to turn on him?! No, they certainl y would never ever be able to work out the conflict between them and become friends! Never in a thousand - no, million - years! "Cocaine you are the most disgusting person I have ever known in my life. You have no soul and no heart" "No shit sherlock" Said Cocaine Calender, a ghoul, as he uppercut Pepsiman' jaw making a loud clicking noise as his teeth toothed together. "Alright, That's it! I have had enough!" Just then Pepsiman uses his ghost pwoers to go super Sayian. "I'M GOING GHOST" But he was already a ghost so now he was just a ghost ghost, also know as Ghost 2, the evolution and successor of the ghost. "I'm mroe powerful than you could ever imagine!" He shouted loudly, and he flexes his huge huge muscles.
They were so big that he had knocked over two racks of graphic tees even while being a ghost. At this sight, Cocaine Colander's lower intestine vacates his body post-haste, before he too goes super sayian. "Psh... pathetic that you thought you the only one with soda abilities, my miserable copy" Pepsiman Picks up a shelf of trinkets and throws it as Cocaine. "I'll make you eat thos words!" He screams, angrily. Cocaine Colander just chuckles as the shelf soars through the wall. "Idiot. I can'teat words. They're not corporeal" Pepsiman screamed with rage, tearing his vocal chords and makig the cashier cry as he was so godanm loud. "Shut up can't you freaks take this outsise!?" He yells as he covers his ears. "Oh sorry." They both say as they leave the store, having to duck and crouch to fit through the door in their super super mega shredded forms. The cashier cried harder at the sight of their beautiful beautiful monster glutes. Such amazingly gorgeous toned buttcheeks, that you could surely crack a walnut between them. The power of their glutes must have been enough to bend steel, even. It was amazing and the Hot Topic cashier was certain he could hear a heavenly chorus as he gazed at the soda mascots' amaginly beefy rumps, all of his blood exiting his body through his nosebleed as he dies from the sheer power of glorious divine heavenly supreme delicious shredded swole amazing lovely buttocks. It was a quick and painless death full of joy. He was so glad to witness their butts. Now that they were outside the hottopic, Pepsiman grabs Cocaine Colander's face and suplexes him into the road, making a huge crater that will certainly cause problems largely for the lower class as their tax money is siphoned into repairing the mall they couldn't afford.
"I hate gentrification" Coacain Colander said, his face covered in blood. Flexing every muscle in his body, he shits himself, but more importantly he sucks the blood backinto his faces and mends the damages with the sheer power of his muscles. "Hah, you thought you couold hurt me? You'd need much more powerful abs to even begin to deal even just a teensy weensy itty bitty tiniest miniscule microscopic molecular amount of damage. Idiot. Fool. Buffoon. Utter imbecile clown" He said as he punched Pepsiman's face again. "Psh try again loser" Pepsiman says as he turns incorporeal, sending Cocaine Colander plummeting into the broken road with the power of his own muscles. "This is the only road I've ever known. I don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone. NOW GET OUT!!!" he says, picking up Cocaine's limp floppy body and spinning him around a bunch of times before flinging him into another building, atomizing it on impact. It was so much dust and so many particles. The people inside of it looked horrified and began to pray immediately because it was such a scary near-death experience. "You're not involved. Do not worry I will spare you." Pepsi says to the bystanders in the building. They thank him so much and scurry away before being brought to tears by his luscious cheeks. "Hnnnrgh, Don't think I'm done with you!" Cocaine gets out of the rubble very strongly his pecs flapping in the wind very boobily. The only reason Pepsiman could survive this sight was that he had pecs just as big and he admired them in the mirror for a minimum of ten hours a day. He loved his titties but more importantly he needed to be immune to his hated despised cruel evil beloved hated rival's tricks. Screaming in rage he beats Cocaine to a pulp right there in the middle of the road and rubble.
Cocaine only smirks. "Heh... nothing personnel kid" He reveals that the Cocaine Colander that Pepsiman the Ghost was beating up was only a shadow clone! He was standing behind him silently this whole time... or had he teleported? He socks Pepsiman right in the ear with all his might. "What the hell dude you just punched me in the ear?!?!" Pepsiman whirls around wrathfully and confusedly only to be pulled into a kiss. "This was a fun warm up, Pepsiman, let's get your Pepsi brand graphic tees and go home now." What? What could he possibly mean? Pepsiman blushed, his repressed feelings bubbling to the surface. Was it really meant to be? Pepsi and Coca Cola...... Could they be friends? Maybe more? "Take me Cocaine I need you" He swooned into Cocaine Colander's embrace holding him and Cocaine picked him up gracefully and gently and carried himoff back to his Coca Cola mansion headquarters. "I'll make you feel like nothing's ever made you feel before." His pecs pulsated. THE END
