L'Héautontimorouménos @sephirothsplaything - Tumblr Blog

Hiii could I request a fic where Taniel and reader are best friends since they're kids and like its kind of an 'idiots in love' trope so he only confess now (when they're both grown) if possible could it be written in Taniel's PoV please ???

I love ur work smmm btw

a/n: hiiii! thank you for the request. a few people had similar requests, so i combined a few of them together. more requests are coming soon! fun fact, this fic is longer than one of my finals i just turned in! not proofread in the slightest (for now), but i will go back and do it when it’s not seven in the morning

summary: you and taniel have always been close. you thought that the feelings you had for your best friend weren’t reciprocating in the slightest. little did you know, he’s been feeling the same way for years. or the 5 times taniel wanted to be more than friends and the 1 time it finally happened.

pairing: taniel x fem!reader [best friends to lovers] [mutual pining] [idiots in love]

word count: 6.8k

warnings: major spoilers, changing the ending bc i said so (as mj said, heaven can wait), tooth-rotting fluff, depictions of wounds/injuries, slight mentions of bullying/name calling, strong language, taniel being a yearner, me being a hopeless romantic

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

1. Meeting for the first time

Taniel dragged his little feet against the sidewalk as you held his aunt’s hand. Being a little kid shopping is hard enough, but looking at boring buildings for his aunt’s store was a new kind of torture. He loved his aunt, of course, but being in town always made him uneasy. After all the stories his Auntie and other elders told him, he didn’t want anything to do with Derry.

The pair was greeted by an old man standing outside of a rundown shop. The floor had mysterious dark stains and the ceiling had some sort of water damage. A few bare shelves were stationed at odd angles around the space. Taniel let go of his Auntie’s hand to explore the space further, or at least use it as an excuse to not hear another boring conversation about money. Every counter, shelf, and corner was covered in thick layers of dust and cobwebs. The little boy shuddered, he never did enjoy seeing spiders.

His aunt continued talking to the owner of the store, negotiating prices, ownership, and move-in dates. “I plan on passing this to my boy over there.”

The man’s white mustache and beard moved animatedly as he spoke, “That your son? Respectful kid, glad to see those schools did their job. Paid good money for those.”

Rose chose to ignore the ‘boarding school’ comment to correct the ignorant man in front of him. “He’s actually my nephew. After his parents passed away, I started to care for him. I really want to give him something that he can pass on to his kids one day. It’s an awful thing, not growing up with parents, their stories, or wisdom.”

The man took off his hat as he ran a hand over his facial hair, “Sorry for your loss ma’am.” He didn’t even realize the grief trap she had set up for him, and he was falling right into it.

Taniel kept meandering around the vacant store. He ran a finger over the countertop, accumulating grey dust on his finger. “Gross.”

“Taniel, honey! We’re leaving,” Rose turned her attention back to the man, “Thank you so much for this opportunity. I’ll see you Monday to discuss paperwork.”

His deep voice and mustache garbled his ‘thank you’ into something incomprehensible. He led all three of them out of the store, locking it behind him. The adults exchanged goodbyes as Taniel shyly waved to the man.

Taniel’s Auntie squealed with excitement, lifting the boy up into her arms. “We did it, Taniel! We found a place!”

The boy was only able to share his aunt’s excitement for a moment before he locked eyes with a young girl—a young you. Rose’s smile faded to a confused look as she followed the boy’s line of sight. You sat on the sidewalk, hot tears rolling down your face. You wept as your palms and knees bled, staining the hem of your dress.

“Oh, poor girl,” Rose sympathized. She didn’t hesitate to join you, sitting on the sidewalk at your level. “Oh, honey. What happened?”

Taniel joined his aunt, standing awkwardly above the pair. His dirty shoes suddenly seemed more interesting than anything else in the world. At least they protected him from the judgemental stares of passerbyers.

You spewed out some story of picking flowers, your mother at the corner store, your broken sandal, and other insignificant details. His aunt, who was also good with kids, sat and listened attentively. Rose used a handkerchief she found in her purse to stop your poor knee from bleeding while using her other hand to wipe your tears away.

“I want my Mommy,” you said squeaked out softly, large tears still rolling down your chubby cheeks. Taniel turned to look at you. Your lip was curled into a frown and your brows were knitted together. One of your pigtail braids must’ve also taken a hit during the fall, for there were large chunks of hair falling out of the braid.

“Taniel, honey, can you sit here with her while I go get her mother?”

He wanted to say no. He wasn’t always the best at making friends, even with the other kids on the rez. It didn’t help that she was using your puppy dog eyes on him either. He felt sorry for you, really, but he didn’t think he would be much help. “Auntie–”

Rose interrupted him, “Taniel, please? It will just be a moment.” She stood up already walking towards the store that your mother was in. “Sit with her. I’ll be right back.”

You sniffled as you spoke, “You can sit down…you know, if you want.”

He noticed you playing with the loose thread on his aunt’s handkerchief as you pressed it to your knee.

Taniel took a seat. He hesitantly spoke as he tried his best to cheer you up, “You know it’s not that bad. I had a splinter once, in my foot. When my Auntie took it out, it was as long as my whole finger!”

“Really,” you perked up.

“Yeah. It hurt more to take it out ‘cause I was scared.”

“I’m scared. It hurts.” More tears fell from your doe eyes.

Trying to correct his mistake, Taniel tried to get you to stop crying. “You know what helped me?”

You hummed in response, wiping your nose on your sleeve.

“My Auntie held my other hand when she took out the splinter. It still hurt, but not as much. She told me that I almost broke her hand from how hard I was squeezing it,” he laughed at the memory.

You looked at the sidewalk as you asked, “Can…can you hold my hand?”

Taniel’s eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. A girl his age wanted to hold hands with him. When he didn’t answer, you looked into his dark eyes, tears still brimming. All you could muster out was a small ‘please’ before the waterworks started up again.

He scooted closer to you as he scooped up your free hand and interlocked their fingers.

“Sweetheart,” a tall woman came running towards the two, heels clacking against the concrete. The unfamiliar woman knelt down to the girl, cupping her daughter's face with her ringed hands.

“My what do we have here?” His Auntie commented, referring to the two children holding hands. Taniel, getting embarrassed, immediately dropped your small hand.

The doting mother continued, fishing band aids out of her purse, “My poor baby. I bet that hurts. Oh, and your poor hair.”

Taniel looked back at you. He debated offering his assistance again. His helpful and caring self already led to his aunt teasing him once. But what was one more time?

“I can help. I can fix your hair.”

Your mother kissed the top of your head, silently asking for your permission. “Go ahead, sweetie. What a sweet boy,” the woman said, though the last comment was mainly to herself.

His Auntie lovingly watched as Taniel gently gathered your hair, twisting the three different sections as he muttered to himself. He was reminding himself what each strand represented—the higher power, the earth, and his spirit. Though these teachings were to solidify his understanding, you soaked up this new information like a sponge.

“Let’s go, Taniel. We need to get home.”

He stood up, taking a step towards his aunt before he stopped. He turned his head to meet those sweet, puppy dog eyes. “I’m Taniel, by the way.”

You smiled as you told him your name.

“I hope your knee feels better.”

“Thanks,” your smile grew wider.

“Bye,” Taniel awkwardly blurted out before catching up with his aunt.

“Bye, Taniel!”

He took his Auntie’s hand again, turning around to look at you one last time before getting in her truck.

“Well, she seemed like a pretty nice girl,” Rose told the boy who was fully turned around in the backseat. She smiled as she started the car.

“Yeah, pretty,” he whispered to himself sitting down in his seat. Suddenly downtown Derry didn’t seem too bad.

・・・・・・・・・・・

2. Changing perspectives

“Taniel, can you hand me another nail, please?”

The young boy dragged himself away from his comic book on the front counter to help his Auntie. He tried to distract himself from summer vacation ending, starting jr. high, and the mysterious girl he met last year. One of the boys on the rez introduced him to comics recently, and he loved them. If it wasn’t the story taking him out of his reality, it was the colorful illustrations.

Rose interrupted his thoughts, “Taniel, can you put some pep in your step? My arm is falling asleep.”

“Sorry, Auntie,” he muttered, as he handed a nail off to her.

Once the last picture was up, his aunt took a step back to admire the painting. She sighed contently as she turned her attention to the rest of the store. There were several baskets, chairs, mirrors, dressers, and other furniture arranged on the newly finished floor. It looked unrecognizable from the building the first time they saw it.

He was happy his aunt was finally able to carry out her dreams, but he dreaded it simultaneously. What 12 year old boy wanted to spend his summer vacation lugging around old lamps and rocking chairs for his Auntie’s shop? The only plus side seemed to be the short walk from the school to the shop. This way he didn’t have to walk or take the bus with kids who hated him.

The next few days blurred together. It didn’t matter if it was Sunday or Thursday, Taniel was stuck at the shop. If he wasn’t loading furniture into his aunt’s van, he was up at the register, checking out customers. Most were nice old ladies or housewives looking to fill their days with something they enjoy.

He hated how boring and repetitive it was, but liked the idea of having money for new shoes and comics.

The Saturday before school started was a day that was engraved into his hippocampus. He was sitting at the register, eyes following the bubbles and boxes of text in his latest comic book, when the bell above the front door rang. He huffed as he rolled up the comic and shoved it in his back pocket.

Taniel watched a lady meander around the stores, drawn to the porcelain knicknacks and trinket boxes. She would pick one up, show the person next to her, and make a few comments before putting it back on the shelf.

“Why don’t you go ask if they need anything? You can practice meeting new people, yeah?” Rose cheerfully suggested, though it sounded more like a polite demand.

Taniel plotted a potential escape as he walked over to the lady. He cleared his throat, “Hi, ma’am. Do you…do you need help finding anything? We have more pieces in the back if you—”

“Taniel?” A soft, familiar voice interrupted him. A pair of warm, friendly eyes met his.

He breathed out your name in response, the air escaping his lungs at the shock of seeing you again.

Your mother broke the silent staring contest the two of you were having, “Is your aunt here, by chance?”

Rose, with a close lipped smile painting her face, rounded the corner of the counter to whisk away your mother. The pair caught up exchanging details about the past few months and school starting up again.

Taking after the conversation the women were having, you asked, “Jr. high, huh? I can’t imagine being in the same hallways as the older kids.”

Taniel shoved his hands into his pockets, staring at his crossed feet. “Tell me about it.”

“I’m nervous, you know?” You turned to continue looking at the trinkets in front of you, “New school, new teachers…it’s just a lot at one time.”

His gaze lifted from the floor to your soft features. It felt like you just told him all his dreams were about to come true. No way you understood how he felt about going to school. You understood him. His heart raced at the realization.

“Yeah, but it won’t be all bad.”

“Why not?” Your brows knitted together the same way they did nearly a year ago.

A newfound confidence washed over him as he continued, “You’ll have one friend there that feels the same way.”

“Really?”

His eyes lit up. “Yeah, we might even have the same homeroom together.”

“Yeah, and we could sit together at lunch,” you said, matching his enthusiasm.

Your mother emerged from the back of the store giggling at a story Rose was wrapping up. “Let’s go, sweetie.”

You took one last look at the hand-painted porcelain kitten you were holding before putting it down. He took note of it before you started towards the door.

“See you at school.”

“Yeah, see you at school.” Maybe jr. high would be enjoyable.

・・・・・・・・・・・

3. First kisses

“How was Helly Howard’s class today,” you asked, taking one of Taniel’s strawberries and popping it into your mouth.

He rolled his eyes, “Hell, or course.”

“Is Don still giving you a hard time?”

He gave you an unamused look, “What do you think?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why I bother asking anymore. He’s always been a jerk, you know? He used to pull on my hair last year. He’s the one who started the whole ‘crybaby butterfly’ thing.”

Taniel gritted his teeth as you bit the inside of your cheek. He hated that the kids were so mean to such a sweet girl. At some times, it seemed like it bothered him more than you. But that’s just how Taniel was. Always observant and protective.

“Hey,” you snapped him out of his internal tantrum, “speaking of asking, can I ask you a question?”

He smiled at your politeness. “You know you can ask me anything. You don’t have to ask before asking me a question.”

You sighed, lowering your gaze. The chipped tray your lunch sat on was suddenly intriguing to your racing mind. Taniel bumped your hand with his, urging you to continue on with your question.

“What if it’s stupid? Or mean? I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

The boy crossed his pinky in an ‘x’ shape over his heart and kissed it before holding it across the table, urging you to do the same.

You copied his actions as he swore, “I won’t get mad at you, I promise. I don’t even think I can get mad at you.”

You retracted your pinkie, folding your hands in your lap. He wished you had taken more time getting your thoughts together. He was always trying to find subtle ways to touch you. All he could ever think about was holding your hand when you were scared and hurt. Sure, he was nervous, but he remembered the fuzzy feeling that surrounded his heart at the moment.

“I know the kids make fun of you because of your hair.”

He smirked, pointing out the obvious, “That’s not a question.”

“Why do you keep your hair so long?” You blurted out. Trying to correct yourself you continued, “Not like in a bad way. Like in a curious, I-want-to-know-more way. I think it’s great, you know? Really tough. And it always looks so shiny and nice and—”

He cut you off by grabbing one of your soft hands that was waving wildly as you spoke. He lightly rubbed his thumb against your fingers to ground you.

“Hey, hey! It’s not a dumb or mean question. I’ll tell you.” He hesitated for a second. He didn’t want to let go of your hand, but didn’t want to start any more rumors or give you any more mean nicknames.

He reluctantly let go of your hand, scratching the back of his head. “Well, uh, I grow my hair out for a lot of reasons. The women in our tribe are leaders and warriors. They are able to create and nurture life. Because us men cannot,” you interrupt him with a soft giggle. You meant to stay serious, but the boy in front of you was not yet ready for the title of ‘man’.

He resumed, “Because the men cannot do that, we dedicate part of ourselves to them. Also, having long hair makes it easier to braid and strengthens the connections we have to everything around us. One strand represents the higher powers we cannot see. The second represents the earth or ourself. The third represents our spirit. All three are twisted and intertwined together to show the relationship between all three. We cannot exist without spirits guiding us, being one with the earth, and acknowledging the high power. Our hair acts as an anchor that connects us to these things.”

You stared at him with your dazzling eyes, hand propped beneath your chin. He would answer every one of your questions if you always looked at him like that.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you for braving the storm that is asking a question.” You gave the boy a death glare. “But one cannot make the journey alone.”

He fumbled with the paper-wrapped bundle in his jacket pocket. His hand shook as he gently placed the mystery present in your palm. You unraveled the sheets of thick paper to reveal a tiny ceramic cat, painted like the tomcat that hung around your neighborhood.

“Taniel, you didn’t have to—”

“Open it.”

When you first saw the cat, you didn’t have time to take in all the details. You completely missed that, below its collar on its back, was a small hinge. You opened it up to reveal a small ring. It was a simple gold band with a tiny mauve stone in the middle. Two even smaller diamonds sat on either side of the square stone. You placed it on your pointer finger admiring the way the diamonds shimmered in the school cafeteria lighting.

“Taniel, this is really too much.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved you off, “my Auntie told me that it’s just gold-plated. Oh, and the diamonds aren’t real. It’s too small for most of the women that come through the store, so she said I could have it. Well, give it to you, so…” he trailed off, worried that he upset you.

The bell rang as he gathered up your tray, along with his. You walked beside him looking between the kitty and ring you were just gifted.

“Thank you. You kissed him on the cheek, nearly making him drop the lunch trays, “See you after school!”

His feet became firmly planted on the ground as he stood by the trashcan. He didn’t care about the glares or shoulders that intentionally bumped him, all that was on his mind was that a pretty girl kissed him.

・・・・・・・・・・・

4. Growing up and moving on

Taniel strung together multiple curses while loading up his aunt’s van. It was a great investment, but it wasn’t the most interesting thing to drive. He would never outwardly complain. Afterall, it allowed him to spend more time with you. Taniel would drive you to school, take you out on ‘dates’ (as friends of course), and be at your every beck and call if it meant being able to see you again. Plus, it was a bonus if you let him open your door and give you a hand into the van.

“Need a hand?” You questioned. You stood behind him, one hand on your hip and the other shielding your eyes from the spring sun. Working on the weekends was a grueling task, but you always made it more enjoyable.

“You’re late, again.” He didn’t really mean it. It was just one of those things that went from teasing to an everyday occurrence.

“Save it, handsome. I’m here now, so you can quit grumbling.” You opened up the driver side door, plopping yourself down sideways on the seat. Even if you wanted to help, he wouldn’t let you lift a finger. He always chalked it up to ‘not wanting any more scraped knees’.

He lifted another nightstand into the van, resting against his forearm against the van. You reached your hand up to his face, tucking his hair behind his ear and out of his face. His eyes softened and jaw unclenched as he melted into your touch. You always had a way of turning him into putty from the slightest touch.

His heart ached wanting nothing more than to ditch the furniture and kiss you until you became dizzy. “You’re beautiful. You know that?”

You looked out the windshield, hiding your quickening breaths. “Yeah,” you let out a breathy laugh, “you only tell me that like all the time.”

You met his eyes again and scrunched up your face. He couldn’t help but feel utterly helpless. Why did he have to be in love with you? Then again, who wouldn’t fall in love with you?

He finished loading up the van and shut the side door with a thud. The space between you was noticeably small, but the tension was even more noticeable. It felt like he was gazing straight through your eyes and into your soul.

He tapped the side of your knee a few times, signaling you to move to the passenger seat, “Let’s get going, sweet thing.”

His eyes never left you as you crawled over to the next seat, making fun of his ever growing collection of pet-names for you.

The two of you made the deliveries as usual. You picked the music and he acted like he was annoyed at your favorites. It was the same as it had been since he got his license. Just the two of you in your own little world for hours.

“Hey are you, okay?” He had broken you out of whatever trance you happened upon.

You turned to look at him with a hum.

He pointed to the stereo in the car. “You hate this song. I was surprised you didn’t change it.”

Your ears began to recognize the crashing cymbals and high-pitched voice blaring in the van. “Thought I would give it another try.”

He knew you better than that though. He turned down a side street and parked near the curb. Taniel turned his full body toward you with a questioning look. God, you looked absolutely breathtaking without trying. He just wished he could know every thought that zipped through your brain. He hated when you got quiet. He’d rather hear you retell stories, hear you laugh at his dumb pet-names, or even hear you snore when you accidentally fall asleep while studying in his room. He didn’t want to push, but he also wanted to help you. It was something that naturally came to him.

You sighed. “I’m just scared.”

Taniel looked around the van before pointing at himself, “Of me?”

“Ha ha. Very funny. Lucille Ball must love you.”

“Jsut trying to lighten the mood. Keep going,” he urged as he laced his fingers with yours.

“I’m scared of graduating. I’m good at school but I can’t imagine doing it for another four years. It feels like I’m not good at anything. I feel like I have nothing beyond this boring town. I wouldn’t mind staying here, but…what is there for me? You have the reservation and your Auntie’s business, and I have…a stupid scar on my knee that the sidewalk outside your aunt’s place gave me.”

“It’s not stupid, and you just have to try things out. I don’t like hauling around heavy pieces of wood, but I like other parts of the job.” You began to play with his hand, drawing shapes and tracing lines across his palm and fingertips. He continued, trying to push down the blooming warmth that came from beneath his ribcage, “I like restoring and staining some of the old wood dressers. It’s kinda nice just sitting in silence, just focusing on one simple thing.”

“You must love me then,” you replied sarcastically.

His features softened. “Yeah. Yeah, I do,” he chuckled, covering up the true intentions of his words. “Hey, what about…you know…marriage and all that…stuff?”

You turned his hand over, tracing hearts over his knuckles. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m too much sometimes. Like it’s a chore to love me.”

“Hey, where did that come from?”

You shrugged in response, avoiding his gaze. You knew if you looked up at his tender eyes, they wouldn’t be able to stop crying. “Dating just hasn’t been my thing, you know that. I cry over dumb things. Remember ‘crybaby butterfly’? I mean who the hell cries over a butterfly missing a wing?”

“Someone that obviously cares about others.”

“I feel like if I met someone, someone who really cared about me, then yeah. Maybe one day I’ll get married. Maybe even have kids, too.”

Taniel tried to hide the obvious hurt that flashed across his face. For once, he was thankful that you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“You’ll find someone, I know it. And if, for some reason, you get stuck in this town, you’ll always have a job at my Auntie’s place.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course! But you’ll have to do a lot more than make fun of me and distract me from making deliveries. "You peeped out a sheepish ‘sorry’ before he brushed the hair out of your face. He took a few more moments to bask in your beauty before putting the car back into drive. His hands tightened on the steering wheel as you fumbled with the radio. Why did he have to chicken out? He meant what he said, but it came out as a joke. Why didn’t he just double down? Why did you talk about meeting your future husband? This back and forth was destroying everything in him, but seeing you sitting next to him singing songs aloud, he couldn't help but keep his feelings to himself.

・・・・・・・・・・・

5. Making mistakes and making up for them

Taniel didn’t mean to. In fact, he raced back to his van once he realized what time it was. He was too occupied with the meeting about the evil entity that lived in Derry. After years of hearing stories and reciting them back to his elders, the day finally came where he was able to keep track of this thing. He had been so hyper focused on the conversation to remember your shift at this Auntie’s place. Of course, he told you about a super-top-secret meeting he was having, but he pinky promised he would drop you off and pick you up for your shift.

“Shit, shit, shit.” The movement the engine started up, he took off speeding to town. He silently prayed that you would still be there. That you wouldn’t be mad at him for being over 30 minutes late. It’s not like everyone should know about this entity anyway.

Taniel pulled up to the shop, seeing the large ‘closed’ sign in front of the glass door. The lights were off, the door was locked, and you were nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck,” he ran his hands over his face before getting back into the van. He raced around town, checking all your favorite places before making his way to your house.

His heart fell as he pulled in your driveway. Your parents’ car was gone and your curtains were closed. You only closed your curtains during thunderstorms or when you were sad, and it wasn’t raining. Taniel barged through the front door, making a mental note to scold you about the unlocked door at a later date. He just needed to apologize and make sure you were okay.

He knocked softly on your door, waiting for some sign of life on the other side. “Honey, can you open the door? Look, I’m sorry. The meeting ran over and I…I’m sorry. This was completely my fault, but I’ll make it up to you. You just gotta let me in please.”

His pleas did little to rouse you from your bed. It wasn’t just about him forgetting you at work. It was the fact that he ditched you last-minute for some mysterious meeting he ‘can’t talk about’. If he wanted to get rid of you, he could’ve just said so.

“Fuck giving you space,” he pushed the door open revealing your backed turned to the door. Your shoulders shook as your hand muffled the sobs that racked your body. How were you supposed to be mad at the one person you could go to for comfort?

He slowly made his way over to you, calling out your names and every other pet-name in the books. Taniel sat on the edge of your bed, trying his best to comfort you without overstepping more than he already was. He hated seeing you cry. It was even worse now because he was the reason you were crying.

You took in a sharp breath as you turned to look at him over your shoulder. Even through tears, you could tell he was really sorry. He looked like a hurt puppy that’s been kicked too many times.

You instinctively jumped into his arms, dampening the shoulder of his button up with your tears. He wept with you as he pulled you onto his lap. His strong hands rubbed up and down your back, trying his best to soothe your aching heart.

He knew you were going to beat yourself up about crying over a ‘small, dumb thing’ later, so he tried to do damage control now. “Let it out, sweet girl. I’m sorry. I don’t care about the meeting or keeping some secret if it means you feel like this. Please, please believe me. I’ll tell you everything, all of it, if it means you’re not mad at me anymore.”

You lifted your head up, eyes red and puffy. The pads of his thumbs swiped across your cheekbones. You closed your eyes, basking in the warmth his hands provided. He held you as he explained all of it. Some of it came out in jumbled strings of adjectives and words that didn’t quite make sense together. He talked as fast as he could, trying to make you understand why he kept all of this from you. You silently listened as you clung to his wrists that caged your head.

This was the closest the two of you had ever been, physically and emotionally. He contemplated telling you all of his secrets. The one where he would hide his jackets whenever you came over to his house to prevent you from stealing his favorite ones. The one time he lied about going on a date just to ‘practice’ kissing with you. The one where he lied about his favorite color because seeing you excited about guessing it on the first try mattered more than the truth. Or the one time he told you holding hands took away the pain. The one about being completely in love with you.

・・・・・・・・・・・

1. A debt repaid

Taniel isn’t thinking as he rushes with everyone else to Rose’s van. You’re just as confused, caught up in a chaotic mess you were thrown into less than a day earlier. Something about the military, kids, the clown, a dagger, it all ran together in your mind. You didn’t need to fully understand it to feel included.

He practically dragged you into the front seat, still a bit skeptical of the military officer that was now lying on the floor of the van. It was the only place where he could guarantee your safety from whatever that man could do with his mind.

He sped in the direction of the river. Stop signs and speed limits were less important than the state of the world.

You looked out the window, noticing the sudden change in temperature and the thick fog. Taniel did his best to navigate, given the limited visibility. Afterall, he had precious cargo sitting right next to him. He drifted around trees before the van was driving on a solid layer of ice. How was any of this possible?

After almost running over the children, you wanted to make sure they were truly safe. You reached for the door handle before a voice rang out.

“No, you stay put.”

“Taniel, I came here for a reason. Let me help!”

He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots in hopes it would cure his fast-approaching headache. “Fine, but don’t leave my sight. I mean it.”

You hurriedly nodded, checking on the girls in front of you before everything started spinning. They were trying to explain that the kids were floating in the air, the dagger, the principal, everything. You tried to focus, but it seemed like everyone was contributing something different to the cause, expect you. You couldn’t even listen to the girls without shutting down.

Taniel and the tall military officer joined the group to retrieve the dagger. “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

You shook your head, grabbing the dagger before he could take it. “I’m going with you.”

He shut the idea down immediately, “No, you don’t know what this thing is capable of. Give me the dagger. You’re safer here.”

“I’ll be safer with you. What happened to not letting me out of your sight?”

He took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders. “You can come, but I hold the dagger, got it?” You handed him the dagger, putting your arms through the sleeves of his warm jacket.

Taniel continued, “One more thing, I’m so sorry about this, really I am.”

Before you could even knit your brows in confusion, he swung his leg behind yours and pushed you with enough force to knock the wind out of you. You hit the ice hard, the wind rippling the snow and your hair in a way that obstructed your vision. The two men had taken off in the direction of the pine.

With your diaphragm still catching up from the push and fall, you rolled yourself onto your side, using your arm to prop you up. You tried your best to take deep breaths, but only shallow ones escaped your cold lips.

You saw it before the clicks popped your eardrums. Several shots rang out from the other side of the lake. The military got there sooner than anyone thought. They were shooting at you…at Taniel.

Leroy fell to the ice as Taniel tried his best to duck and run back to the safety of the van. The ice beneath his feet and bullets ringing in his ears, he shuffles back towards you. His face contorted in a look of shock and pain as a bullet struck him. You tried crawling to him, wanting to help him in any possible way, but Rose held you back. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t breathe. You still screamed out for your Taniel with the little air your lungs held.

He felt a warm liquid gathering around the collar of his shirt. It took a while for the realization to hit him, but when it did, it felt worse than the bullet hole in his shoulder. Leroy did his best to stop Taniel from bleeding, but the cold numbed his hands and the fog made it hard for his eyes to focus.

In that moment, Taniel selfishly wished for a lot of things. He wished for a nice car to parade around in with you at his side. He wanted a kiss from you, not some bullshit practice kiss that was more giggles and teeth than passion. And he wanted his jacket back because he cold had seeped through his skin and leached onto his bones.

You didn’t care if there were still bullets flying past the van, you needed to get to Taniel. When Will ran to his dad, you took the opportunity to break free from Rose’s grasp, shuffling over to the boy who’s loved you for more than a decade.

You could only muster out a weak ‘Taniel’ as you reached him. You swept his wet hair out of his eyes as you took over for Leroy. Who knew you would have to repay the favor of taking away his pain in this seriously fucked up way?

You took off the jacket he gave you, laying it over his chest. You scooted his head to lay in your lap, trying your best to remember everything that you need to do in a situation like this. Taniel tried his best to reach up to wipe your tears away. You caught his hand before it could reach you, returning it to his chest. He lightly squeezed your hand, wanting you to let him at least hold it.

“I lied,” he choked out.

“Hey, none of that, anything but that,” your face screwed up as you tried to stop crying.

“I’m not really sorry. I’m glad I pushed you.” Your laugh turned into a sob as he coughed and cringed from the pain. You tried pressing harder on his shoulder, releasing a mantra of ‘sorry’s’ to make up for the boy’s pain.

“You know how I told you the story about that splinter my Auntie had to pull out? I made it up. All of it.”

You sniffled, “What?”

“I made it up to get you to hold my hand. I was too shy to make the first move. I’ve loved you since that day, you know? You’ve been on my mind ever since. I always worry about you, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling. I lied about liking the color orange, or at least I did in jr. high. It’s grown on me since then. I lied about going on dates. I lied about liking your haircut a few years ago. I lied about how I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

Suddenly the dagger and clown didn’t matter. They weren’t worth thinking about. Not when the boy you loved for half your life lays dying in your lap.

“I love you, Taniel.”

His eyes began to flutter closed, his hand going limp in yours. “Taniel? Taniel, you gotta stay awake, honey. Please.”

His eyes closed as violent sobs shook your ribcage. You bent over, kissing his forehead and digging your nails into his bleeding shoulder.

“Please don’t do this to me. Taniel!”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The bright lights made it hard for him to open his eyes. The rhythmic patterns being drawn on his arm tickled his skin, earning a wincing smile from the boy. Taniel’s body ached, but this simple touch seemed to be working better than the morphine.

“What did I miss?”

You leapt back before diving into his neck, forgetting that the other side was still healing. He let out a painful groan as you backed away immediately, whispering apologies as you sat back in your chair.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, pretty girl. Come back.”

You held his hand, careful not to mess with the IV you definitely bumped into just a moment ago. You pressed your lips to his forehead, basking in the feelings that soothed your worrying heart.

“Do I get a real one now, or what?” Taniel looked up at you, blinking slowly.

You chuckled, leaning down once more, this time to meet his lips. Your mouths moved in sync as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He wanted your lips, your love, your kind soul. He wanted more and didn’t care about breathing.

The monitor next to him beeped as his Auntie rushed through the door. You locked onto his brown eyes before laughing against his chest.

The next few days were filled with visits from strangers turned allies and members of his tribe. You sat with him in his small bed, listening to Rose recount the events of a few days ago. It seemed strange that you were too worried about the future to focus on the present unfolding in front of you. And Taniel thanked all his lucky stars that he is able to enjoy his future with you, his first and only love.

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