& THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS - CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTERS: last, two, next.
synopsis： 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞. 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬?
recap .ᐟ： months prior you had went to hang out at billie’s place with some of her new friends, and her boyfriend. but when he was being weird she didn’t defend you.
boarder creds.ᐟ：@cafekitsune @honeyluvsw
"𝑩𝑼𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑫 𝑰𝑻 𝑶𝑵𝑪𝑬, 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝑰𝑻 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲"
it had been a few weeks since i last spoke to avaniy, but since then i have been working on a lot of stuff. me and finneas' music has been blowing up a lot.
i had recently released ilomilo, it was always our favorite game to play when she came over to my house.
she hadn't replied on it, i don't even know if she even listened to it.
i didn't mean for all the time lost, she tried to reach out to me but i was usually in the studio. after that she just stopped texting.
laying on my bed i scrolled through instagram, with pepper by my side trying to get to the chips i was eating.
after awhile i got bored, so i decided to call quen. she was usually free during this time and i needed some energy.
the phone rang a couple times until she eventually picked up. i couldn't tell what she was doing but she was upside down.
"hey." quen said, trying to hold in her laughter.
"literally what the hell are you doing." i said, trying to get a better look at what she's doing.
"i'm just hanging from my couch damn." she said, falling on her side then getting up.
"what've you been up to?" she asked me, as of today nothing. the album was finished but me and finneas usually plays around with stuff.
"nothing as of now." i replied, rolling the bag of chips up and now sitting up properly.
"our girl is in a new movie." quen said
"odessa?" i asked, i was just speaking to the curly haired girl earlier and she didn't mention anything of it.
"no your girlfriend avaniy" she replied, making my face immediately turn red.
"dude no, we haven't even spoken in weeks. or called in months." i corrected her, shaking the thought out of my head. "plus i had just broken up with Q"
"thank GOD." she replied, which i chuckled too. none of my friends cared for him, especially avaniy.
"what movie is avaniy in?" i asked.
"she couldn't tell me what but whatever it is she's gonna do well."
"yeah we called this morning, they were on break from filming this week."
i would've expected a call at least.
"hm, maybe i'll call her later." i muttered, mainly to myself than quen.
"are y'all like.. good?" she asked me.
it might've been a lack of communication, or me not talking a lot when me and Q got together. but i wouldn't be lying if i said i missed her.
"yeah, i mean i guess." i replied honestly, the last part came off a bit quieter than usual.
"just talk it out, you guys've known each other for so long it doesn't take much time for you guys to miss each other." she spoke.
she was right about that.
"yeah, like i said maybe i'll call her later." i said, one half of me said it just to get quen to drop it and one half of me did want to call her, but what would we speak about.
the day dragged on with basically nothing for me to do, i would've made music with finneas but he was busy. so i just watched netflix for the majority of the day.
eventually i got on iMessage, scrolling through my contacts i got to avaniys text thread. our messages had been dry, and i didn't know what she had been up to.
so i did something that i didn't realize in that moment.
the first ring had already passed when i really processed what i did, but it was too late now to pull back. after a few rings i almost hung up until the timer on the phone started.
"hi." i say first. i hear a shuffling through the screen, she must've been sitting down.
"hey billie." she says on the other end softly. her voice sounded different, or i had forgotten it. my chest dropped at that feeling. she sounded really tired.
"i.. is this a wrong time?" i ask, sensing the uncertainty. it was like she already regretted picking up my call.
"no just kind of jet lagged." she replied.
"oh okay." i replied, not knowing really what to say after that.
"how've you been?" she speaks again, that sort of eases the tightness in my chest, knowing that deep down she cared even if just a little bit.
"i've been good, just releasing some music now and then.. and finished the album." i said, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.
"thats great!" she says with a positive tone, which made me smile a bit.
"have you heard any of it?" i ask her, i wondered if she heard ilomilo.
"no not yet, i haven't been able to be on my phone recently. just a lot of work and stuff." she replied softly.
"yeah i understand.." i replied, the feeling felt sucky. it was like i was holding onto something that had already been gone, and wasn't trying to come back.
"i broke up with Q a few weeks ago." i replied, knowing they didn't have a good feeling about each other, i didn't really listen.
"oh, i'm sorry." She replied, going even more silent.
"don't, it's not your fault." i replied, it really wasn't.
we fall into a silence for awhile, then i speak up again.
"can we facetime? i haven't seen your face in months." i ask.
i could basically hear her hesitation, then some shuffling again.
"yeah, sure." she replied, making me relieved.
i hit the video button then my face pops up, the phone starts ringing again until she answers.
i felt thrown back at her appearance. she looked so much different. her usual curls were put into braids, and was still dark, but her roots were galaxy. mixes of blue, purple and pink. she looked smaller now, which wasn't something i could really feel on because i didn't know anything.
me on the other hand, my hair was dyed inky black. which still was different from the last time we had seen each other.
"your hair looks sick." i say with a smile, she was never the one who tested with many colors like i did. but it was cool to see she did now.
i think back to a few years ago, we talked about all the colors i wanted to dye my hair. she said she would never do it in that moment. but if she ever wanted to i would be her hair dyer.
but yet that didn't happen.
"thanks i did it a few days ago, yours looks good too." she says, taking a sip of a bowl that looked like it was shaped as hello kitty.
i focussed more on her background, it looked like the same room but completely redone. she had LED lights which she had talked about for awhile. she had a new bedding, and more decorations.
she usually had a headboard full of pictures over her bed, which we usually filled up. but it was gone now, replaced with a frank ocean poster.
i felt my heart sting a bit, it was as if she learned how to live without me. i didn't expect her to depend on me, that was a toxic mentality to have. but it did hurt.
"what have you been up to recently?" i ask her, tracing the lines of my walls with the tip of my finger.
"uh just work.. and trying stuff." she said dryly, i could tell she was trying to keep some wall between us still.
i hummed in acknowledgement.
"that's good, you seem different." i said, being a bit bolder.
"yeah? how so.." she asked.
the fact that it seemed like you didn't miss me, or that we didn't grow up together.
but i did run from that first, i made the distance. so the only thing i could do was go along with it.
after what seemed like forever in a short time, we got off the phone. it was muttered goodbyes and it felt like i left something.
i laid across my bed, staring at the ceiling, it was crazy how so much could drift us so far. and it happened in so little time, to a very long bond we had.
my phone rang to see that quen was calling me again, i hesitate before picking up and bringing the phone to my face.
"billie? you okay?" she said, looking at my tired expression.
"i messed up. really bad."
taglist: @meiyokstarr @ohokaydawg @injuryanxious @reyreyzyyy (ask 2 be added)
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