”Hello? Such a weird thing to say on his first official day with Pandora – but there was not a living soul around. If anything, there was merely what he assumed to be the backlash of some scuffle going around, but no people. “Where is everyone?” Eyes looked around. Almost as if he was trying to assess the damage he was seeing, trying to put together pieces of a puzzle he didn’t really understand. Were they under attack just before he was released? Why weren’t they warned that they were under attack? Walter frowned at the thought, but he would not presume others’ actions nor judge them. He didn’t know how things worked around there. What he wanted to know was how to get to the residential area in order to find his room and maybe, after that, try to assist in any way he could…? Not that he had any idea how to help or what he could even do but… it was better than nothing?
”Hello…?” Again, no answer. As he walked past the debris of what he assumed to be a fight and the lights flickered over his head – he had to wonder – how safe were they? Did one of the other agents lost control and raged against things? Were they under attack? How safe were they… really? His jaw clenched at the concept of being unsafe. Something about that made his entire body tense for a moment – almost like he wasn’t really keen on the idea of being pushed into a corner. If needed be, he could fight. He knew how to fight, how to shoot a gun and how to…
The stench of decay…
A silent plea before becoming nothing…
He shook his head. What the hell were those flashes? And that smell? He didn’t remember anything like that from his time before. Weird – maybe that was just stress and anxiety from not being able to find anyone or even learn where he was. “Hello?”
Elixir had spent most of the day playing support in the rebuilding of Atlantis, but only after healing all the injured en masse bringing all their bodies back to perfect condition. He was advised to not overdo it, to not heal in large quantities as using that much life energy, tapping into the biology of other living organism and healing them to their perfect state in an instant, it took a lot out of him. But he was getting better at it, a few years back doing this much would've had him pass out for hours, now all he needed to do was rest, and enjoy a few meals himself to be ready to engage once more.
As he sauntered down the halls of the once great headquarters, he felt himself hear a familiar voice. But it couldn't be. And there it was again, perfectly clear, so much so that Elixir believed someone must've been playing a trick on him or his mind had finally shattered under the weight of all they had just been through. Following the sound, he found himself at a loss for words, frozen in so many memories that flooded his mind and filled his heart.
He remembered the projects he had assisted on and how this...was not the man he knew. A boy with the power of decay, the boy who always wore gloves afraid to touch another living being, and the boy who deny that power with his own touch, the boy who held his hand and wished he still could.
"Hi, you must be...Walter, right? I had your file on my desk recently because I'm one of the resident doctors here on top of being an agent. Call me, Ducky...I mean Elixir."
Pixie smirks and nods his head. "Honestly, bro, those are such a bore. I just aim and shoot." PIxie says with a laugh and a shake of his head. Which is probably why he seems to be winging just about half of his missions. He grins and playfully winks when the other said that he knows the perfect way of waking him up. "I do...And it's a two-in-one situation bro. You get woken up, and I get my breakfast protein." Pixie says with a grin as he teasingly kisses down Cinder's neck.
"They keep telling me to keep my powers in check because I'm not just fire guy, apparently because I control microwaves I could potentially hurt people on my team and all that," Cinder shrugged as he cuddled up closer to Pixie. "You get your breakfast protein, and somehow I still end up carrying your load inside me because someone here prefers to make me a twinkie and not a toaster strudel." he teased, moaning slightly as Pixie kissed his neck. "Careful, otherwise you'll be too spent to be going on any mission because you'll be too tired from fucking me so much."
Asura flung another fallen support beam like it was nothing, his immense strength usually used to pummeling enemies, but now it was turned to construction rather than destruction, the six armed agent was almost casual in the way that crumpled up metal in his bare hands.
As hard as the labor was he was barely starting to sweat. "Hey when we are done with all of this you wanna hot the sauna? I could use a meditation session and to sweat out some of the negative energy from this invasion thing."
lark whistled as he witnessed Asura at work, finding it rather impressive how the man's strength coupled with the extra appendages just made this much easier. "Sure, hopefully they'll have me stop phasing and placing small explosives on things, because it's getting tiring already."
"Last time I went into the sauna my towel got caught on the door, and I ended up flashing everybody, and I don't know if that's how I wished to introduce myself to fellow agents at that time."
rorschach had never been someone who liked complaining. nor, ironically, was he someone who could just vent out his emotions. but after czernobog's attempted invasion, todd hickey was having a fucking crisis. on the fucking precipice of a catastrophic crash out. he was tired. sad. angry. in pain. a storm of emotions he didn't know how to deal with. and with his current lack of concentration, rorschach's empathy made him taste everyone else's current emotions, too, like a psychic barometer. or a mood - sponge.
he could feel someone feeling blue and grieving through inebriation. he could feel someone burning red with anger. and holy shit, he could even feel that sudden burst of white - hot pleasure, from someone probably jerking off to cope. and rorschach wished he could just turn all his emotions off, like he could someone else⸻ so he did what any emotionally compromised, psychically sensitive twenty - something would do. he asked porter to make him sour cream crickets and hoped that disgust would overwhelm all the other emotions. well, maybe not all emotionally compromised, psychically sensitive twenty - somethings.
and so here he was, munching on insect legs, grimacing in absolute disgust, when someone else finally walked into the common room. " want some ? " rorschach asked with his mouth full, almost throwing up in the process as he offered his bowl of crickets. " it's really, um ... " couldn't even finish the sentence before he needed to chug some water to swallow it down. but then, he popped another into his mouth⸻ and god, the crickets sounded fucking crispy. " it's really good ! if you're trying to forget something ! " @seraphiivms
Elixir was swamped with people coming into the med bay, his powers being put to use in ways that required more than just simple healing. He'd boost or suppress things inside others to make them work as needed, he'd give them exactly what they needed and wanted, all that was asked of him. Sometimes it was too much, all that intricate control of the biology and biochemistry of living organism, a simple mistake could tip the scales far too easily. Elixir could feel the strain people put on their bodies, the pain, the elation, the patterns in which the human body operates. He felt it all.
Elixir always carried with him the pair of inhibitors that suppressed powers, when he didn't need to know how another's body was feeling. Right now all he could feel was a sense of disgust as he stared back at Rorschach who was offering him probably the worst dish imaginable, and wondered why they even had something like that as an option. "I'm good, your body is telling me you will most likely puke all of that in the next...20 minutes or so, and it's making me nauseous as well."
"What's going on, because I don't think snacking on bugs is something you're known for." he hummed crossing his arms as he sat adjacent to the other agent. "You do know I can sadly feel everything going on within your body, maybe not emotionally but...the physical aspect of a living organism is my domain. So I can feel the disgust and how your taste buds are begging you to stop."
" fixed the pool already. it's all good as new ... " theseus says, as he swam to their side of the pool with a big smile. it's not like it's a big task, really. psynaut and mercy didn't really make a big mess of the place, with the only damage being a misplaced chunk of the poolside, some cracked tiles, and a ruined sections of the pool floor. and with his improved connection to pandora, the repair was almost instant. didn't even take him five minutes. now, he knows that he is still needed on the other parts of atlantis, but he's been fixing things the entire day. he deserves a little break! and what better way to do that than skinny dipping on a newly repaired pool.
" are you here to check on me, handsome? you can go back to them and tell them the pool's back in order, and agent theseus is just taking a break. " he says with that giddy and playful smile he wears so well. " or ... you can join me here? enjoy this new pool for a little bit? "
lark knew he needed some R&R after the grueling battle that cost the lives of far too many agents. But this was the life was it not, great powers but at a tremendously high cost. Using his powers to help out with reconstruction just meant that he'd tell them how to stabilize something and what exactly was in the way.
The pool being back was definitely not something he expected to happen so quickly, but seeing Theseus skinny dipping and so relaxed made him chuckle. "Actually I was hiding from the people who were trying to get me to walk through walls and set somethings up," he mused. "Being naked in water with you seems a lot more fun," lark added as he began to strip, letting his foot feel the water first before letting his lower half fully in. "I needed this,"
the sound of ziggy's voice forces perry up and off of the floor. where he had been in a crumpled heap seconds before, he was now up and on his feet. "--ziggy! you're alive!" perry rushes into ziggy's space, throwing his arms around him in a tight hug. sure, ziggy looked rough, but he was still in one piece. "what happened to your eye?" he reaches up and touches it tentatively, frowning at the sight of the injury. ziggy saving whatever he had left in his room was the last of the spider's concerns. he only cared about the other and his safety. perry could always go out and get stuff to replace what he had lost. "--and don't worry about me. you should see the other guy." perry smiles, having always wanted to say that. dragunov was left rotting in the morgue with his throat torn out. gossamer definitely looked better than the man at the moment. "seriously. I'm fine. tell me what happened with you and all that." perry says, gesturing to the rubble behind them in what used to be ziggy's room.
"Takes a lot more than to..." Before he could even finish Ziggy felt Perry's embrace, how tightly his arms wound around his frame, and how for one instance Ziggy realized there was someone in this world that actually did care about him. For a moment he just stood there shocked, not really used to the feeling of a warm hug. His parents had never once showed him affection, so for Ziggy this might've been the first time he's felt something like this. Slowly he hugged Perry back, resting his features in the crook of his neck. "My eye? Oh yeah, like I was saying, I couldn't really use my power cause it would melt your stuff so I let them beat on me a little till I found a safe place for them." Ziggy chuckled at the one liner his friend threw out, patting his arm. "I was sleeping and then heard the alarm go off, got raided and my room got destroyed. Also...you're stepping on one of the guys, he's just a bit dusty now." he said as he pointed to a small pile of ash.
Max laughed as he wrapped arms around Elixir and rested his cheek on the top of the other's head as he held onto him. "You need to raise the bar on what to be grateful for, you deserve more. I just make sure you have enough resources to stay alive. Make you drink water, eat food, sleep in a bed." Max really thought Elixir should care for himself more, it was hard to be his normal snarky shitty self when the other seemed so vulnerable all the time. It was like kicking a dog. He couldn't bring himself to do it.
Max didn't think he was being a hero or anything of the sort he just- said what was on his mind. "You shouldn't work yourself to the bone like you do, it's not like we get paid. Just...do the bare minimum some days. Not every day is a war effort."
Elixir laughed at the way Max sounded, younger than him yet somehow wise beyond his years. "You remind me so much of someone I used to know. They would also take care of me, and berate me when I wasn't taking care of myself, and in that same breath downplay what they did for me," Being in Max's arms felt like the most natural thing in the world to him right now, letting the man's warmth wrap around him, seep into every worrisome nook in his being and help him relax.
"I know, it's just...you know before this I was in hospice right?" He had always wondered if there were those who knew of his past, of the author he once was and of the origin of how all his stories came to be. "Max, I was very sick a long time ago, and it was during this time that I met some of the best people in my life. They were kids like me, all sick in some way shape or form, but none of us were expected to make it past the year."
"We all grew close together, and they...they're all gone now, and I somehow survived. Me, the boy who lived, the boy who was recruited into this whole ordeal and now has the power that was needed to save my friends..."
"That's why I can't ever take a break, part of me still believes if I look away for one second then those who I love will disappear again. So I tire myself, day in and day out, because I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared that I might lose you." Elixir looked up at Max, and didn't even think anymore, he didn't hesitate when he leaned in and kissed him. "I'm...sorry for dumping all of this on you, I just thought since you took it upon yourself to protect me, then you should know, I'm just a mess who is trying his best."
Truthfully, Knockout felt like he was on cloud nine. Not only did he manage to win the trial of balance, but he had successfully helped to protect the alien that had granted them the powers that coursed through their veins... And getting the killing blow on one of the big Czernobog guy's definitely inflated his ego. Not that he needed it, of course, but it was still gratifying to know that he had it in him - that he was just as good as he said he was.
Of course, just because he may have won, it didn't mean he could slack off. His powers required him to stay in tip-top shape, to keep practicing and keep his body limber so he could execute his martial arts moves with expertise when the time comes, and that's how he found himself in the training room. Shirt off, as usual, with his chiseled physique on display, he sparred against one of the wooden dummies for a lengthy period of time before his thirst got the better of him...
And as he turned to where his bottle of waters were? He saw that someone else was in there. "Enjoying the show?"
Ducky was at a stand still, his own skills outside of his powers were lackluster, and for an agent, if he could even call himself that, was pretty pathetic. Project Pandora brought about so many souls who became warriors in their own ways, and there were even other healers out in the field with powers similar to his own, so why couldn't he do it, why did he have to be a coward?
His friends leaped into battle, throwing themselves in the face of dangers, and all he could do was hope they make it back alive so they could be healed.
Often times he found himself in the training room, just staring off into space because he didn't know where to begin with. He knew the basics of combat, but after so long he'd grown rusty, almost accustomed to not being utilized at all.
he found himself staring back at someone, his muscular body glistening with sweat, his aroma all too inviting. Ducky swallowed. "Sorry, I was just watching your technique and I was hoping I'd be alone so I could maybe practice some fighting just...just in case I ever need it. Which sounds silly I know, why would I ever need to fight."
[ andre lamoglia , homosexual, cis man + he/him, biokinesis ] declan ducky carvalho is a lawful neutral agent of pandora selected for their exceptional knowledge of the human body and their medical expertise, and underwent the top-secret mutation process. to the rest of the world, the twenty eight year old originally from wellington, new zealand is deceased or missing. however, in atlantis, they are now known as elixir of acedia divison after developing the ability to control the biological structure of his own and other people's bodies down to a genetic level. the agent has been with pandora for ten years and is trusted for being charming, resourceful, but once reprimanded for being soft & hesitant. |
tw: cancer, death
Life can be pretty fucking shitty, and that all rings especially true when you’re young and think of nothing but the future, of growing up, never truly appreciating the time of your youth. Ducky had learned this lesson early on, a child of the system, the byproduct of high school sweetheart love, two so enamored yet unprepared for the harsh reality of the world, so that baby that came out of spurious love would never know his parents, or at the very least those he shared DNA with. Not that it mattered as he never really lived in the system for long as some hopeful couple had wanted a baby for so long, but they just didn’t have any luck, so in some ways Ducky was their miracle child. Besides the somewhat cautionary tale that was his birth, life was pretty normal for him, he was good in school, was an honor roll student all the way up until senior year when he was ready to venture out into the world and become a professional. At least, that was the plan, that’s what most young adults did once their high school career was over, go into higher education, get a degree, and make a career out of it. But on a night out with friends, one of the many that he’d come to know a night that was supposed to be like any other, his world turned upside down. Ducky had passed out during one of the school’s football games, walking into the parking lot with his friends as they all celebrated the victory, he collapsed as he fell to catch up to them, and that was all he could recall as the darkness that was trying to invade from his peripheral took over.
The diagnosis was adenocarcinoma, and the fainting spell was brought on due to dehydration probably from the upchucking that he had done at home prior, thinking it must’ve been the corn dog he had ate that just didn’t sit with right him. They told him and his family about the available procedures and all that they could offer, and Ducky couldn’t think, he couldn’t say a single word, all he could do was sit there and listen as the fear hit him like a truck. It dashed all his hopes and dreams of the future, as it looked grim, but he was up for the fight, as they call it. As if this thing was just another type of battlefield that he was wholly unprepared for, but he wanted to live, so what other choices were there? After a year in treatment, things started to take a turn for the worse, the doctors were giving up hope, and the look on his parents face as they tried to assuage the news didn’t help. Ducky was left in that hospital bed looking at all the stories from his friends, moving on with their lives, going off into college, and he was just stagnant, deteriorating, as if his own body was waging a war with itself. After being told he only had maybe less than a year, he decided to spend his few remaining days in a place he had found online. A place that housed kids like him, kids who were terminal and wanted a better way to spend the rest of their remaining days. So as his bags were packed, he ventured off to what might be the best time in his life.
It felt like Hospice, except all the inhabitants were young, about his age, just young adults that for better or worse, lived their life as best as they could within this abode. He settled in quickly, made friends with the other kids and found in them a second family. They would all do everything together, they’d all tell the wildest stories that they could come up with, say what they would do if they ever got out that place. They’d steal alcohol, drink together, find themselves in the woods making a little bonfire, and Ducky figured that it might not be so bad to go if you were surrounded by people who truly loved and cherished you, and knew exactly what you were going through. Ducky met a boy, and their feelings for each other sparked quickly, it was beautiful and wild and real, and all the things’ people wish for, so he thought of himself as lucky in that aspect. That he got to experience what felt like love, real love, at least if only even for a little while. They promised they’d marry if they ever got out, but as the story goes, the good times can’t last. It should’ve been obvious given all their circumstances, but it still hurt, hurt like hell to know that seat at the table would never be filled by that person ever again. Here, he began to write, began to immortalize the people he loved in his stories, gave them all the grandeur and fantasy that they deserved. In his stories they got to live, carry out their lives, he gave them adventures, romance, every other amazing thing he could think of that he knew they’d enjoy. Little by little all these stories became a book, the first of many that he would never publish, at least, he didn’t think about it at first, didn’t think he’d ever get to see his work out there in the world. These were just stories he made for his friends, of his friends, and ones that he would keep for life…or at least until his time. Ducky experience heartache many other times, as a lot of the faces he knew and loved had vanished, and their big group had dwindled, but even so they never truly left, not while there were pages and lips that said their names.
Then another miracle happened, the miracle baby of his parents got one for himself, new results that said he wasn’t terminal, and that while not fully recovered it meant he could put his life back on track. He was happy, sad, guilty, angry, confused, so many things all at once because…why him? Survivor’s guilt is common, and he knew that, be he didn’t know how visceral it would truly be until he was one himself, a survivor. After he left, he promised to himself to keep them all alive, and he did, his book got published and a bestselling author he became. That one book spawned an entire series, and he had made his friends ever living in those pages that millions of others now read, they fell in love with the same people he did, but they would never truly know how amazing each of them were, not like he did. Now he lives comfortably, playing the same video games one of his friends would’ve raved about, as if he had had kept something each of them loved and carried it with him forever, or as long as that could be. All his stories were written under a pseudonym, one that would carry one, as no one would ever know his true identity, and nobody ever would because to the world, Declan was dead.
Survivor's guilt, that was the driving factor that made him learn about the human body, about medicine, learning all that he could because his mind was still restless. It might've been happenstance, or even chance luck, but due to his extensive knowledge he was found by a certain program, one that he'd find himself never leaving once it started. Somehow not even the stories he crafted could've compared to what was his new reality. Rigorous training, and a procedure that would reshape his entire being, now someone with powers that could've saved the friends he had, life is just funny that way.
It's been a few years since that all began, and he's acclimated to living like this, to the new faces in his life that have now become a staple, to the world of powers and shadows, to secrecy. His job is simple, save the lives of the people he now calls home, and with his powers, Elixir now finds himself a perfect fit.
[ mason gooding, homosexual, cis male + he/him, plasma generation ] zagreus “ziggy” smith is a chaotic neutral agent of pandora selected for their willingness to join the program and the fact that nobody outside would miss him and underwent the top-secret mutation process. to the rest of the world, the twenty-eight year old originally from new jersey is deceased or missing. however, in atlantis, they are now known as cinder of wrath after developing the ability to control ambient heat to generate plasma from his body, igniting himself, and absorb microwave energy to generate intense heat. the agent has been with pandora for five years and is trusted for being passionate & honey-tongued but once reprimanded for being bratty & reckless.
A smack, mountains of empty beer bottles, and smoke that did not seem to ever dissipate. That's all you can remember from your childhood. From the moment you could produce a thought you've been working, involved in every brainless scheme your parents cooked up. It's how you guys got by, pretending, lying, stealing, doing everything in your power to stay afloat except the moral thing. You had never questioned your status quo, you just knew that you would never stay in one place long enough to make any friends, put down roots, and every memory you did have was either in the back of car, or something you'd rather just forget.
When you were little it was easy to fool people, to trick them into lowering their guard so your parents could swoop in and reap the benefits. You'd think that would mean a nice meal, and a warm bed, but their vices were far stronger than any urge to be a decent parent. When you asked questions or spoke out of turn all you remember were hands flying, and a sudden sharp pain somewhere on your body. It was never the same spot, was it? You quickly learned to not question the motives, to simply bury the feelings with whatever thing was near.
You broke into places, got into fights, learned every trick of the trade, and sometimes it worked. Your parents plans would end up being fruitful, but those were rare times as most times you'd always have to be their scapegoat, the one to take the fall for their actions, and as you grew older it became increasingly difficult to be let off the hook just cause you were a kid. Then one time you were too old for that treatment, and you were sent to Juvi, and your parents never came, they never once showed up or even tried to get you out. The day came when you were released back into the world and you thought they might try something different, get jobs, live a normal life.
You were sorely mistaken as they went back to the same old thing, and they didn't care or even ask if you were okay, let alone hungry. They just did as they always did, they used you for their gain and when something went awry, you were there to be the throwaway piece. So you learned to not trust, to never let anybody get to close, and you got angrier, angry at the world, at your parents, at the very fact that your existence was tied to...this.
So you plotted your revenge, a scheme that went south for them, and you handed over your parents to the authorities, so you could be free of them. They spat and cursed at your name once they had realized, and suddenly you were all alone again. Animals had been a form of comfort and succor for you, they were never ill intentioned they just were, and you loved to take care of these creatures in the world.
Due to your past actions life didn't get any better even with your parents behind bars. You'd grown a reputation, and with no education or any kind of support you were left on the street. Hunger forced you back into the lifestyle you swore to not return to, but desperate times as they say. Ziggy, why didn't you fight back when the fists came hurling towards you, you were just a hungry kid, but you took every beating that came your way as if you thought you deserved it.
Life seemed bleak, and it was for you. Until the day you were approached in an alley, brought in to take part in some experiment, and you agreed. The promise of food and a warm bed were enough to convince you, but the first problem was that you had to die, but you didn't care. No one would ever miss Zagreus Smith. Congratulations you survived, and now you became something more than human Ziggy, with a power set fitting that fiery attitude. What you hadn't expected was the ones who joined at the same time as you, would become so important in your world.
As he kicked the door open, Ducky sauntered in with a dark look on his features. Crossing his arms as he spotted the man. "Hmph, now tell me why you haven't gone to the med bay to see me after this attack?" Ducky began as he wagged his finger in front of Nero's face. "How many times have I told you that it doesn't matter what kind of agent you are, you need to be treated and looked at no matter what!"
"Especially because...I'd be devasted if I'd know you were hurt and you didn't come to me," he said his gaze softening. "So...you better let me check on you, or I'll drag you around by your boner all across base."
"Wait...you might like that...I'll just change your biochemistry so all food tastes like sand to you. Better? I'm really new at this whole threatening thing, how am I doing so far? @thrallttleme
"Hey...so, one of the guys that attacked me dropped this...well more like it was attacked to their arm and didn't turn into ash like the rest of them," Cinder said scratching the back of his head as he brought Goblin was appeared to be a rail gun. "Figured it's best suited in your hands, and I also wanted to make sure you weren't hurt. I'm happy you're in one piece, Goblin." he said clearing his throat. @psivn
Ziggy was for the lack of a better word, fucking annoyed. Annoyed that his room had been destroyed and now he was forced to meander and find a better place to sleep. No matter what corner he found there was always some idle chatter or clean up happening. "I'm going to blow up," he said after not being able to find a place to sleep that was private as he wished it to be. "All I managed to salvage of my own was this shit," he said as he held up his pillow. "I also have a fucking headache from lack of sleep, so if I can use your room or something for the meantime I'd appreciate, and don't ask about my eye being swollen shut or all my bruises, the guys who did this are being vacuumed up now."
ziggy had been off during the attack, never one to be on high alert until czernobog attacked, destroying everything in their wake. during the attack on his own quarters, ziggy had been caught off guard as he haphazardly gathered items in his room, valuables that any other person in their right mind would've told him to drop and fight. he didn't, he couldn't. blow after blow he clung onto the items, dashing towards the first person he could spot and handing them off before sending them off with a warning to not damage any of the contents inside. it didn't take long to ignite that fit of rage that was always peeking from the inside. and as the dust settled over their battle, he walked around knowing his room was no more as it had all collapsed behind him as he ran.
as he sauntered back to what was once his room, the sight of perry made his breath catch in his throat. "perry, you okay?" he asked coming up next to the man's side with a pillow case full of every game and every other little thing perry had once given ziggy or left behind in his room. "I got all your stuff out safely, here," he mumbled, before noticing the blood on his friend's costume and his eye widened, the one that wasn't swollen shut. his hands raced to see where his friend could be injured, but he was no doctor. "perry, shit, fuck! are you okay, are you bleeding i have to get you to the med bay, come on?" he said, ignoring his own body now covered in cuts and bruises, his face stained with blood. @leschevalier
Through his ten years at Atlantis, Ducky had seen many faces come and go, so many powers, so many people who had walked through his doors seeking treatment only to go back out into the field, and never come back. The first time it had made the healer spiral, finding his powers useless if he couldn't bring him back, if there were wounds that he just couldn't heal. Why be given the gift of life and death if only the latter prevailed?
He remembered them all, all their faces, their call signs, their names, all the shared moments, laughter, and in between, and all he could do was push down that pain and smile at the new set of faces who needed him. All he could be was the healer always at the ready, the doctor too weak to be out in the field, useless. That was the word that replayed over and over in his head. Useless.
To face the fact that he'd never amount to more as agent was a hard pill to swallow. Knowing that maybe if he wouldn't freeze up in the field, if he'd be more proactive, and a less emotional person, maybe some of his friends would still be here this day. Ducky secretly mulled over these thoughts, day in and day out, and little by little these insecurities were beginning to leak from the fragile damn that kept it all at bay.
Luckily there were many ways to distract the mind through actions of the body. So as he sauntered the depths of Atlantis, and stumbled upon Shep, he was met with the perfect way to calm his mind and soothe his heart. Through the nature of his power he could every bit of what he did to the other man, the blood rushing to his ears, the way his face turned that unmistakable shade of pink, it all brought a smile to his lips.
This ritual laid before him, that systematic taking apart, cleaning, putting back together. Ducky knew this was what Shep needed to keep himself in check to not let urges break loose and run amok. A tight leash. But as soon as that spring was set down he giggled, knowing he now had his full attention, and by the look of it, they both needed this. "Me? Absolutely, and you do know I do make sure all of my threats are backed up, but I could be swayed." he mused, putting an index finger on his chin, tapping almost methodically as he feigned to think.
"Touch you like what?" He said playing dumb as he leaned in, his hand now gingerly placed on Shep's thigh, slowly inching forward. "On purpose? Now that's just you being very accusatory, we both know I'm nothing but a little innocent doctor, Shep," Ducky grinned before retracting his hand. "But..." he stopped looking down at the man before leaning over once more and pressing their lips together. "You are mine to clean, thought that much was obvious by now," he said with a low hum.
Eyes could tell so many things if one truly looked, more than a thousand words could be conveyed through a single glance, and right now as Shep held Ducky's gaze, the doctor found himself at his mercy. The restless and churning ocean of words, now turned into nothing more than still waters. A hitch in breaths, all of Shep's body signaled a yearning so sweet, it was too intoxicating to ignore, too inviting and warm.
As he was pulled, Ducky giggled, rolling his eyes as he found himself nestled in Shep's lap. Taking in the muscle and sinew of man, his scent, the way he was warm to the touch. Ducky felt safe in this little bubble the man had created, where all worries and fears were nothing more than shallow whispers drowned out by that wave of elation. "I can finish watching you work on your rifle, and maybe you could even teach me how to shoot. Don't know if you know this, but I kind of suck at combat. I'm one of those agents who was successful in attaining power, but outside of being a healer, I don't really carry much weight in any team."
"Still," he said as his lips trailed up on Shep's neck, peppering kisses here and there until his ear was just in reach. "There are other things that are always on my mind when I'm with you." he hummed as he rested his head against Shep's frame. "Now I think my threats hold no power since you're clearly holding me captive now, so I'll have to find a way to stash every peanut butter snack in my room. Maybe you'll just have to make an appearance in my quarters more often,"
"You know I can feel it right? What I do to you, the way you're holding back the urge to pin me down and do things to me that would make even the most experienced person here blush." he stated. "Guess that's just part of the package deal with my powers, how connected I am to the biochemistry of others, and how I can just reach out and almost amplify those responses." Ducky mused. "But I won't...call me selfish but I like knowing that when you want me it's because I had nothing else to do with it except just be present." @shepchasingtail
Ducky knew that Max's bratty attitude was one of the many things people loved about him. Demon twink was something that was thrown around whenever Max was in the vicinity, but all Ducky could do was laugh at his antics. He brought a sense of something to Atlantis, and it made him ache for a type of succor he could rarely get anywhere else.
As he laid in Max's bed, the sheets barely resting on his frame, he looked up and smiled, rolling his eyes at the man. "I do, you sort of have a habit of making me feel special, Max. Don't know if you've noticed yet or not," he said as he inched closer, his fingers softly tracing back and forth on his chest.
"Thanks for always taking care of me," he mumbled as he rested his cheek on Max's chest. @myriadpandora
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