Secret time traveller Cloud is kidnapped by terrorists who plan to use him to threaten AGSZ since he is clearly close with them (or at least three of them)
Cloud is debating between escaping (since they just have him tied to a chair, it would be pretty easy to break free) or just giving the terrorists advice.
Terrorist: Excellent. Now we wait until your friends come to rescue you.
Cloud: Yeah, no, they're not coming. They've seen me outrun explosions, fight an angry summon, and walk away unscathed. They know I'll figure this out.
Terrorist: Fine. Then we'll kidnap them too. Starting with Angeal. We'll take him down with sheer force.
Cloud: Angeal is literally a tank in human form. The man's a walking fortress. You'd probably sprain your wrists trying to hit him, and then he'd feel bad and offer you a health potion.
Terrorist: Alright, then. We'll kidnap Genesis.
Cloud: He's been kidnapped twice already. Both times they sent him back. Couldn't handle him sitting there reciting Loveless at the top of his lungs. One guy quit terrorism altogether and became a librarian.
Cloud: He'll start critiquing your hideout. 'Oh, the lighting is so uninspired, the energy of this room lacks pathos!' You'll be begging him to leave by the end of the day.
Terrorist: Fine. Zack. He seems like the easiest target.
Terrorist: Then we'll just kill Sephiroth. One hit and we'll be rid of him for good.
Cloud: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Cloud: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA
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