Strength in a Smile

An IC side-blog for my Overwatch OC, Zhu Yun-Shi. As penned by Cat! Main blog is redheadreptile.

[reversedbeat]

“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.”

© // More Here

[mykcnos]

serenedimensions:

Why was Jesse McCree always so nice to him? He really didn’t deserve it, not in this case. He was being selfish, and he very well knew that. But he was just so tired of being lonely….and yet, here McCree was, comforting him and calling him pet names.

“….I think that is a little…impossible. I am just a person, and I am so, so sorry to have bothered you like this.” Yun leaned against the other, relishing in his warmth. “Why are you so kind to me? You ….I think you would call such a thing ‘darling’.”

“I’m kinda ta’ you because you deserve it!! You’ve worked super hard ta’ get this far– you’ve got just as much right fer’ kindness n’ love here ‘cause you deserve ta’ be here just as much as the rest’a these motherfuckers!”

You use your real hand to pet his hair, using gentle motions as you stroke his silky hair.

“Yer’ just fine, baby boy–”

[serenedimensions]

This was nice....it was really nice. He released a weak sigh, finally happy that at the very least he didn’t feel like he was going to completely fall apart at any moment. It would seem that crying really had been more than helpful, even though it was so embarrassing that someone else had seen them. And someone he considered a friend, no less. But he didn’t have much energy to fuss about it anymore. Instead he felt like a saggy, deflated balloon.

“...I just wish I knew how to fix this. I wish I could control how I feel.....” He pressed his face to McCree’s neck, feeling almost like he could fall asleep here. “....and...e-earlier...you do not have to flatter me. Heh, I mean...perhaps the problem is that most people do not want a man as...soft as me. You do not have to try to make me feel better, it is fine.”

[rpmememaker]

Send ♡ if you'd be interested in discussing a ship between our muses

[serenedimensions]

Why was Jesse McCree always so nice to him? He really didn’t deserve it, not in this case. He was being selfish, and he very well knew that. But he was just so tired of being lonely....and yet, here McCree was, comforting him and calling him pet names.

“....I think that is a little...impossible. I am just a person, and I am so, so sorry to have bothered you like this.” Yun leaned against the other, relishing in his warmth. “Why are you so kind to me? You ....I think you would call such a thing ‘darling’.”

[pocketsystem-deactivated2019060]

@serenedimensions wants a starter!

     This place was really hopping. Word must have gotten around to the rest of the food-lovers in this area. New restaurant, new owners, new menu. It was said to be a complete renovation. This place used to be notorious and now it was slowly becoming famous. If only he could find a way to bump himself up the list a bit quicker…       Stash knew how the restaurant business went. Larger parties were harder to seat– but so were singles. A single person meant less income. Parties of four or something were much easier to get in the book and moved along. But it seemed he wasn’t the only person flying solo today. Even if it was just two, maybe they would be seated quicker. Everyone would win.      … How to pitch it to this stranger without sounding like a weirdo. Stash stepped past another moving body to speak up, “Hey. ‘S’cuse me… yer waitin’ on a table fer one, yeah?… I already put in a table. If you wanna get added to my party, you might get a seat sooner.” And in turn, Stash as well.

[serenedimensions]

Yun sighed quietly to himself, looking around. Perhaps this wasn’t a good idea, afterall. Cramped and crowded, and it seemed he would never get seated. Oh well, at the very least, he could cook for himself, right? Still, he had been really looking forward to this....

It was much to his surprise when a stranger came up to him, making a very smart suggestion. It was very surprising, though! That someone would extend that to someone they’d never met! He smiled gratefully, giving a light bow of his head.

“Are you certain?” He responded softly, blue eyes taking in the details of this person. Curious, indeed. “If it is no trouble on your part, I can at the very least pay for my own meal....a-and the tip, perhaps?” In truth, he didn’t have all that much money, but he couldn’t NOT repay this act of kindness. At least, what he saw as kindness.

[serenedimensions]

—Muse Info Sheet

tagged by @mykcnos​

Name of your muse  Zhu Yun-Shi

Aliases: None

One picture you like best of your muse’s FC

NO FC, it’s just Yun

Two headcanons you have for your muse that you never told anyone

Yun is very prone to overworking himself, especially in situations where he perceives that more than one person needs his help.

Yun actually has depression, but feels he cannot talk to anyone about it because other people have it so much worse than he does.

Three things your muse likes doing in their free time

Cooking! It’s actually his passion. Yoga/working out. He feels like staying fit is VERY important. Fishing.

Seven people that your muse loves/likes

Roadhog (manoranxmal)

Jesse McCree (mykcnos)

Soldier 76 (epiiilogue)

Junkrat (jamisontheratjohnson)

Not enough interaction with people to finish

Two things your muse regrets

Not standing up for himself more. Not being able to save his older sister’s life.

Two phobias your muse has

Not being good enough. Being abandoned.

Tag ten people to do the same

@pocketsystem @starstiarnas @the-rad-doctor @gnoll-king @si-lenzio @well-lush-rocketpunch @jamisontheratjohnson @anyone else that would like to do this!

[loftiicriies]

serenedimensions:

Yun was used to this. He shouldn’t be, but he was. People always seemed to target those who were different, and it seemed that his race and attitude made him quite the target. He had tried to just grin and bear it, or at the very least keep his head down and bear it…

But he found himself surprised when another person not only stood up for him, but also willing to physically defend him.

“I…! S-sir, it…I…it is okay, do not…you do not have to put yourself in harm’s way…!”

A wary glance is exchanged with Yun as the guy gets up, your blood running cold. Okay, maybe… Maybe this wasn’t one of your better ideas, but… You had to help that guy! 

You put on an air of confidence, eyes narrowing as you stuff a hand in your pocket to make sure you have access to your switchblade. The man rises, turning his attention to you– he’s at least twice your size, and he looks like he could snap you in half. He looks over to his companion, then Yun, before he turns back to you. 

Oh yeah. You’re going to get your ass beat.

Steadying yourself, your knife is retrieved and the blade flits out with a satisfying click.

[serenedimensions]

This was going a bit....far. At least, as far as Yun could see. It was true, bullies like that shouldn’t be tolerated but he never wanted to resort to physical violence. That’d just give them an excuse to behave WORSE. And now this stranger was standing up for him...and was likely going to get his own ass beat!

“Wait...!” Yun cried out, taking a step towards this brave stranger. “No, you....do not have to do this, please....I would hate to see this come to blows, and I would hate for anything to happen to you because of me. S-so just....it is fine, really.”

[serenedimensions]

‘ everyone i touch gets hurt, but i can’t stop. i touch & i touch & i touch & people get hurt. why can’t i ever stop? ’

“No, no no....” Yun sighed, reaching up slowly to place a hand on 76′s cheek, but giving him enough time to indicate he didn’t want to be touched if such was the case. “It is....mn...it is not your fault. You are not hurting people....and you deserve to have people in your life. Hurt....hurt is inevitable in life, but that does not mean that you caused it.”

[spctlessminds]

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

[percjyackson]

Who do you ship my muse with and WHY?

[headlesssamurai]

“Do not fight with the strength. Absorb it, and it flows. Use it.”  ― Yip Man

[praying]

[mykcnos]

@ryu-no-hakai @serenedimensions

[serenedimensions]

“But...it is....I should not....” He sniffle, silenced temporary by squished cheeks.His eyes lowered, feeling completely embarrassed. Now, his tears were rolling down flushed cheeks. What could he possibly say to this man, who was older than him and likely thought less of him for this little fit.

“Th-that...sounds fine. I....but why I am crying IS selfish. I have been...wandering since I was eighteen, you know.” It seemed like at least his sobbing had stopped, though the tears didn’t. “I....have been to so many places and met so many people. It has been....heh, amazing. But....” His face fell again, eyes shutting. “....yet here I am, having experienced more than many adults my age, mourning what I do not have. I....people are not obligated to love me...just because I have helped them. I know this...” He reached up rather quickly to cover his mouth, trying to muffle another lone sob and hold back any others that were coming. 

“....but...I just....want to know what is wrong with me that...people overlook me. Why...? I...do people not see me as a potential romantic interest? ....and if that is the case, what do they see me as? A silly child? And...why do I FEEL this way...it is selfish. I know it is, but it just....boiled over.”

[listentothestories]

Winter Tea and Summer Memories by Sophie Fehrenbach

[mykcnos]

serenedimensions:

Yun didn’t even hear McCree approaching, and wanted to kick himself for that. He had hoped the training room would at least remain unoccupied long enough to get himself together. No such luck. Slowly, he lowered the hand over his mouth and nose, at the same time turning his head up just enough to look at the other.

“J-Jesse, I…” He choked out, swallowing back his sobs to at least try to talk a little. “H-heh, I…do not know….what I need…I am sorry, this….this is stupid, I….sorry…”

“Oh, oh, oh…” You murmur, shifting to sit down and pull this sad heap of a man into your lap, resting his head against your shoulder. “There, there. What’s wrong, honeybee?” You rub his back with your gloved hand, your cybernetic cradling the back of his head.

“It’s okay ta’ cry, sweetheart. I just wanna know why yer’ drainin’ them big, blue eyes…”

[serenedimensions]

But I don’t cry, not where anyone can see me.

Yet, sitting here with the warmth of another pressed against him, and a comforting shoulder against his face...he found himself frozen on the spot. It wasn’t as though hiding would do any good. Or perhaps a part of him remembered another time when he’d gotten this same treatment, and those memories encouraged him to press his face against McCree’s shoulder.

What could he say? What WAS wrong? He let himself think on the answer while he just cried, shoulders shaking with his sobs.

“What...should I do...” He finally managed, not sure if he should move away from the other. “I am so....so selfish....I....h-here I am, having achieved m-my dream. A-and all I can do is cry....for what I do...do not have. I...get to help people all over the world s-so much easier now. ...wh-what is WRONG with me?” A double-edged question, really. What was wrong with him, to want to cry like that? And what was wrong with him that people could dismiss him so easily?

[mykcnos]

serenedimensions:

Yun sat on his knees, staring at the ground and despairing. Years of discipline, only to fall to this. His hand remained over his mouth and nose, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. This was absolutely absurd. He shouldn’t FEEL this way! He had nothing to complain about! He was healthy, eating well, was capable of taking care of himself. Yet, here he was, crying and unable to stop, his other arm wrapped around his stomach.

But if that was the case, why did it hurt so bad?

“C-come on,” He whimpered to himself, shutting his eyes tight. “Stop it….stop it, you know better….”

You’re still stumbling from your latest mission. Angela made sure your legs worked, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt still. It isn’t until you come into the training room do you see Yun. You’re about to greet him until you hear him… Pleading with himself? Then there’s the glint of tears. 

Is he okay? Obviously not, dummy!

“Hey, you okay, man?” You greet as you teeter over to him, kneeling down to have him lift his head– at least a little bit. “– Are you hurt, or somethin’? Do you need help, Yun?”

[serenedimensions]

Yun didn’t even hear McCree approaching, and wanted to kick himself for that. He had hoped the training room would at least remain unoccupied long enough to get himself together. No such luck. Slowly, he lowered the hand over his mouth and nose, at the same time turning his head up just enough to look at the other.

“J-Jesse, I...” He choked out, swallowing back his sobs to at least try to talk a little. “H-heh, I...do not know....what I need...I am sorry, this....this is stupid, I....sorry...”

[serenedimensions]

Yun sat on his knees, staring at the ground and despairing. Years of discipline, only to fall to this. His hand remained over his mouth and nose, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. This was absolutely absurd. He shouldn’t FEEL this way! He had nothing to complain about! He was healthy, eating well, was capable of taking care of himself. Yet, here he was, crying and unable to stop, his other arm wrapped around his stomach.

But if that was the case, why did it hurt so bad?

“C-come on,” He whimpered to himself, shutting his eyes tight. “Stop it....stop it, you know better....”