Memento Vivere - SerenSunny on ao3 for chap 4
"It’s none of your concern.”
“It’s Sirius, I need to know so he can.”
“Then yet again, Sirius should ask me himself. But he won’t and we both know that. We both know he’s so pleased that he doesn’t have to come back home, so pleased that he can replace me with you.” Regulus’s breath is heaving by the time he finishes speaking and Potter is staring at him with wide eyes. His honey-brown iris’s shining with a recognition Regulus doesn’t remember giving him.
“He’d never replace you with me, you’re his brother Regulus.”
“Then why does it feel like he already has?” Regulus sneers, hands balled tightly at his sides, and he knows that he’s admitting too much to a boy he barely knows but the anger is blurring his brain to mouth motor. He probably wouldn’t have responded like this in the past, but he knows too much of the future to not too. He knows how happy Sirius was when he left, how happy he was to be away from their mother, father and him. He remembers how happy that ‘James was like the brother he never had’, as if Regulus had ceased to exist in his life.
“Sirius misses you, I really hope you know that.” James tilts his head in attempt to make eye contact with Regulus, but he doesn’t allow the action to be fulfilled, glaring intently at the ground at his right.
“He doesn’t act like it.” Okay so maybe Regulus still has some buried feelings from the past -or rather the future- that he hasn’t resolved but you can’t blame him when he lost everything.
Sirius was his everything and he lost him, and then he had proceeded to lose his friends, his happiness and his life.
“You don’t either, he doesn’t know where he stands in your life.”
“Did he tell you that?” Regulus huffs, his whole body slumping slightly.
“Didn’t need to, it’s very obvious when you’re looking for it.” James is smiling slightly when Regulus finally looks to his face, a scowl still etched on his own.
“He can’t come back; you have to make sure of it.” Regulus’s voice has hardened with force that he needs Potter to hear.
“But you won’t tell me why aside from the obvious.”
“No.” Regulus shakes his head; he’s adamant about not telling anyone why. He doesn’t even want to tell his friends, and he tells them the things he’s most comfortable about, and he certainly isn’t comfortable to tell them about this.
Potter seems to have an internal battle with himself that causes his face to contract, biting his lip as if he doesn’t want to drop the topic. He’s going to get nowhere if he continues and Regulus will make sure of it; the future isn’t like anyone would have wished and he’ll be damned if he does nothing to change it. He can’t have anyone with a bloody saviour complex getting in the way, especially not an ignorant Gryffindor with said saviour complex.
“I’m going to go, lunch is almost over and I will not be late because of you.” Regulus says, ending the conversation entirely to escape the awkward, pressured silence that swirls through the air.
“Okay, see you later.” Potter stays right where he is, slumped across the floor, not making a move to get up. He’s going to be late if he’s not careful and Regulus finds the fact that he doesn’t seem to care entirely in character for him.
“I hope not.” He grumbles earning himself a bark of laughter from the other boy, turning away from Potter abruptly as he hurries to get out of the tower and down the stairs. Regulus had promised he would walk to herbology with Pandora and if he isn’t quick, he’ll have gone back on his promise.
Regulus doesn’t go back on promises.
This fic is a time travel au where Regulus dies and gets sent to the past (when he was fifteen). The main Ship is Jegulus but there are side ships!
Please consider checking it out!
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