the mbti types self destruct (the intuitives)
infj: fester into mediocrity. spend their youth believing that they are special, and that the universe will bring them opportunities for the utmost success. they live in complex tunnels of daydreams and fantasies about what the world will bring them in the future while physically settling for mediocrity and dull comforts. until, in their early 40s, they realize they are not young anymore and it is too late to start over. they are a bad parent and they never became what they thought they were becoming. they sink into a haze of xanax abuse, erasing most of their personality and functionality. their friends and family mourn them like they are dead for years before they actually die.
enfj: makes decisions based on image- becomes the class president of their high school, and then, their college. however, they don’t always take the most moral path to their success- they see no problem with schmoozing and advantage-taking, as long as it makes them looks good and gets them into better leadership positions. it works- for a while, for a long time even. later in their career, scandals and rumors from the past bubble to the surface. they are all true.  lawsuits arise. the enfj realizes that people do not see them as a god-like leader but a serpent. and it’s too late, now, to go back and fix the damage they did when they were only concerned with amassing power. the more and more their reputation suffers, the more and more friends they lose- and they realize that many of their friends were never real, only aquaintances seeking some sort of material gain from their relationship. like their cousin the infj, the enfj slips into abuse of downers for he last years of their life.
infp: they go out poetically, goddamn them. infps were made for it. a brief period of productivity in their mid to late twenties followed by a battle with substances (heroin likely) and crippling mental instability. everyone can see their beauty but them. suicide or overdose or something ambiguously in the middle of the two. they’d probably all like to be romantically immortalized in an elliot smith kurt cobain sort of way. but probably 95% of them are just forgotten by everyone except their friends, left wondering if they could have done more.
enfp: what do you do when the world outside of you can never be as wondrous as the world inside of you? the enfp is made of churning, surging ideas and creativity. in high school and college, they are a firecracker. but what are they supposed to do when they can’t find a place for themselves in our constraining, money driven society? 9-5 work tortures them. they no longer have the energy to create or inspire after a day spent laboring. they feel smothered and trapped. they come home after work, take bong rips and watch cartoons, and sink further and further into a creeping depressive state, and eventually stop going to work entirely. enfps kill themselves a lot, i think, though not as often as infps. our world is mean to them. unless they find a place to express themselves, sometimes they can’t stand to exist in it.
intp: a degree of depression darker and more thoroughly debilitating than perhaps any other type can experience. it starts in late high school or early college, after spending much of their adolescence being praised on their brilliance, and it comes in horrible leathery waves. they dedicate themselves obsessively to whatever it is that they do, whatever it is that fascinates them. but as they get older they feel more exhausted and distant from their work. their brain clouds and it becomes harder to think. and because intps value clarity of thought and wit so much, this fogginess wrecks them. there’s no drugs- mainly just darkness. weeks spent in bed. hundreds of unread emails. concerned friends and colleagues coming by to say “you know we all care about you,” that just get told to go away by the lump of blankets on the bed. suicide is possible. so is a descent into depressed misanthropy and wasted potential. and in the end, what’s the difference?
entp: entps will fucking lose it. they are brilliant. the world, to the young entp looks to be brimming with possibility. everywhere they look, a new idea, a new potential, blossoms in a brilliant fractal pattern. entps do too many psychedelics in college. they can fall, so easily, to conspiracy theories and paranoid thinking. they can decide that unreality is preferable to reality. they start off genius, and degrade into weirdo. their friends, at first, think they are cool and crazy. they get a ot of amusement from watching the entp down a water bottle with six tabs of acid in it and spend the night making hooting noises at the refrigerator, which they think is friedrich nietzsche. but later, when they talk to the entp, who has dropped  out of college to work a blue color job, get high, and post on conspiracy forums, they find their speech disjointed, their eyes focused on something that isn’t quite there. they could have been a brilliant academic. instead, they drifted off somewhere within the wonderland of their own brain, and never came back.
intj: intjs have a productive first twenty or so years. they excel in their field. they find someone they love. but heartbreak and disillusionment fells the intj- when they get fired for sticking to their guns, when they realize their cause is not what they thought it would be. when they get dumped for being too distant. the fucked-over intj comes to the conclusion that the world is a horrible place, so they might as well become a horrible person. the intj becomes the alcoholic curmudgeon to end all alcoholic curmudgeons. they express their deep, Fi fueled suffering with vitriol that can border on cruelty. they crave, still, affection but feel jaded and drive away those they love with sharp words between shots of dark liquor. dysfunctional intjs love dark liquor. when they die, in their own home of a heart attack or some cancer they were too scared and dignified to get treated, they die very alone. it’s weeks before someone finds the body.
entj: things go well for the entj up until their first major failure. they claw their way to the top, with hard work and impeccable morals, until they get to the very top of whatever field it is that they love. however, it is now that people begin to want to knock the entj down, because they have certainly made enemies along the way. unlike the equally ambitious enfj, the entj is not always smoothly diplomatic in their ascent to power, but they stand for what they believe in, and this alienates certain groups. when their rivals begin to smear them, the entj is confused- they are so good at what they do, they believe so strongly in their cause, why would people be so petty? they are disgraced and embarrassed- they find they are part of an outdated system, being replaced by new, shiny, enfj models. they quit. they do something they don’t love, and they grow to loath the world, making a sense of betrayal and martyrdom their best friend.
