The Serizawa3000 Bosphorus

He/him. Desperate randomness. I draw. I write. I sew. I'm adequate with a camera. I sometimes make puppets. I don't know what else to say.

[serizawa3000]

We don’t seem to get this sort of thing in Americaland, except maybe on PBS... I am aware of a couple documentaries out there, but this was the first I saw, maybe twenty years after it initially was shown...

[serizawa3000]

True story, inasmuch as it matters.

This was ages ago.

It's my second year of college. One of my new classmates (he eventually became a dear friend, and is dearly missed) discloses to me that the movie The Princess Bride was based on a book. Until that point, I did not know there was a book. And I remembered watching the movie on home video years before (when I was in high school) and thinking it was okay, but I hadn't thought much about it since then, save for remembering who all was in it by dint of seeing them in other things.

He--classmate, friend, Drama Club comrade-in-arms--went into considerable detail about stuff from the book that didn't make it into the movie. (In retrospect, it was probably due to time and budget reasons that the movie didn't feature Prince Humperdinck's Zoo of Death. You get some Shrieking Eels and R.O.U.S... actually there weren't Shrieking Eels in the book; when Buttercup tries to swim away, Vizzini puts some blood in the water--his own!--to attract sharks.)

But the thing he got me thinking about was that he was looking for the unabridged edition of the book. He was certain it was out there, somewhere. "I WANT to read the packing and unpacking scenes!"

That's the thing. That's the magic, I guess. The conceit is that William Goldman (novelist, screenwriter, good buddy of Stephen King) "abridged" The Princess Bride from a much thicker book, because amid all the romance and swashbuckling, the book's "real" author "Simon Morgenstern" wrote lengthy bits that were one part history, one part satire, with occasional asides directly addressing the reader about one thing or another... and to someone wanting to read an adventure story, this stuff is dull. Hence why the book is called the "Good Parts" edition.

In any case, my friend wanted to find the unabridged edition, he was that convinced.

Time passes. College ends for us. I see my friend infrequently, if at all, though we still communicate via phone and, eventually, Facebook.

At some point, I was looking up something or other online, as you do... and the realization set in that there is NO unabridged edition of The Princess Bride. William Goldman made it all up. There was no "S. Morgenstern". (Goldman did write another "S. Morgenstern" work called The Silent Gondoliers, and I remember seeing it at the library.)

The reveal was in the details of the book's framing device, where Goldman talks about his wife (Helen) and son (Jason), and how he manages to get a copy of the book for his son's birthday; Jason started reading it but got bogged down in chapter two, which is why Goldman decided to abridge the book (and swaps out S. Morgenstern's asides to the reader for his own).

William Goldman didn't have a son in real life. He had two daughters. The Princess Bride came to be from bedtime stories he told them.

I never mentioned any of this to my friend. I have no idea if he ever found out himself, or if, perhaps, he knew all along and his wanting to find an unabridged Princess Bride was akin to what wrestlers call kayfabe...

[herssian]

you're allowed to draw. draw badly even. draw and then delete it. draw and rework it and then delete it anyway. draw only half of it and the other half three years later. in one style or another. in different styles in the same week. traditional or digital. you're literally allowed to draw however you want

[serizawa3000]

[mollyjames]

There are a lot of people who start creative projects with no business or financial plan, because "who cares, it isn't important, we'll figure that out later". And you can't let yourself become that person. Not because I'm a sneering finance bro who thinks your woke animated youtube series wont make money, but because if you don't you'll wind up financially exploiting your friends for years

[mollyjames]

Look, it's none of my business if you wanna work yourself to the bone for no money so you can make your dream project a reality. I think you shouldn't, but also let's be real that's basically a rite of passage for young creatives. But as soon as you start involving other people? You need a plan. You need to be able to compensate them for their time, and you need to have it in writing

[karthonic]

For freelancers: I recommend getting yourself a copy of the Graphic Artists' Guild Handbook: Pricing and Ethical Guidelines for reference-- the newest one dropped last year (I have the 16th edition). It helps you figure out your pricing, how to create a contract for various projects (and you can access free PDFs of templates you can use to modify for your own projects)! It's a good place to start and refer to-- even colleagues who are decades in the business (and former Guild Members too) still use it.

[serizawa3000]

Patching hard-worn pajama pants...

I taught myself to sew in the mid Oughts. I'm adequate. I can replace lost shirt buttons and mend split seams. I made five puppets following Project Puppet patterns. Patching holes is a new experience...

[the-uss-premise]

Console buttons from Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-69)

[serizawa3000]

Forbidden space gummies...

[succubusboyfriend]

you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.

[theconcealedweapon]

A child is punished for moving and making noise.

To avoid more punishment, the child sits still and is quiet. But they have to actively remind themself constantly to sit still and be quiet.

The teacher sees the child sitting still and being quiet. The teacher treats this as the baseline.

Since the child is putting a lot of effort into sitting still and being quiet, doing so distracts from paying attention to what the teacher is teaching. The child then is punished for not paying attention.

The child now knows that they'll be punished no matter what they do. And they can't explain why they struggle, because any attempt to explain is arguing.

[serizawa3000]

[darkzonediaries]

LEXX completed its U.S. run on April 26, 2002.

[theboysfromaustin]

It drives me nuts when I suddenly remember some TV show from my youth but I can't remember the title and I only have the vaguest plot details.

[theboysfromaustin]

I figured it out. I knew it was a 90s show and was pretty sure Rob Paulsen voiced a main bird character, which meant it was likely on Kids WB because he was on so many shows for them.

A group of animals running a pirate television station against a media mogul is a rad fucking concept, honestly.

[serizawa3000]

A cartoon co-executive produced by Norman Lear about a mobile pirate TV station?

[curtvilescomic]

Marquis by Guy Davis

[fox-bright]

Swarovski can continue to fuck off.

In 2021, Swarovski (the company that makes the very sparkly crystals you see in certain jewelry, on figure-skaters' twinkliest outfits, on red carpet dresses), decided they didn't want the grubby fingers of small-time jewelers, clothing designers and costumers and crafters on their shiny beads and rhinestones anymore. They decided to limit their sales to "luxury" and couture creators, not girls who sell stuff on Etsy. The tenor of their press release on the subject was snide and insulting. Resellers (like your favorite bead shop) would no longer be allowed to carry their product; the average Jane on the street would not be able to purchase them. You could only get them if you had an authorized business agreement that bound you to very strict brand behavior. And those of us who still had good stock of the crystals would no longer be "permitted" to use the brand's name in our listings for sale.

Every bead shop and craft supply place and many, many small clothing makers--wedding shops, prom and dancing dress suppliers, the sort of salt of the Earth mom and pop time machines of shops that are the backbone of the field--scrambled to find something that could replace them. The last of the stock dwindled quickly, all of us grabbing what we could get while there was any chance of it, and then it was gone and we no longer had any access.

I was Big Pissed about it at the time. It was just so goddamn stuck-up, when wholesalers and indie jewelers had made them so much money, when some people I knew--when *I!*--had been brand-loyal for decades. But with no recourse, everyone pivoted fairly quickly, most of us to Preciosa Crystals. Those are Czech, quite sparkly, and considerably less expensive than Swarovski. The faceting method they use is different, but not worse; any differences are hardly noticeable when you're seeing them as a hundred pinpoints of light.

Well, out of nowhere, Swarovski just dropped this: https://www.harmanbeads.com/swarovski-brand-policy-update

"Effective June 1, 2026, Swarovski updated the distribution and brand usage policies introduced in 2021. Businesses may now purchase Swarovski Crystals without signing a Brand Control Agreement, and Authorized Distribution Partners may once again sell Swarovski Crystals to resellers, including bead stores and online retailers. Businesses may also use the Swarovski brand name when following Swarovski’s Proper Use Guidelines. Designers, manufacturers, artists, brands, retailers, and resellers are now eligible to purchase Swarovski Crystals through authorized distribution channels."

They want us back. A lot of the companies who could have kept a brand relationship with them also have swapped to Preciosa, over the last half-decade, in solidarity with indie creators and out of a sour awareness that it could be them, next. And it doesn't hurt that Preciosa was able to expand their line quite a bit now that everyone who wanted sparkle had no choice but to go to them.

And I'm not seeing nearly anyone who intends to return. The feeling is, "Y'all told us to fuck off! Off we fucked! And now, that's what you can do, too!" I'm seeing a lot of "How many of us did you stab in the back?" comments from the people whose money they're hoping to attract.

And personally I'm sitting over here all rubby hands, mean snickering, because they really thought they were going to be able to outclimb the people who actually provided all their profits, and now here they are, hat in hand.

[the-supernatural-atheist]

if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills

[the-supernatural-atheist]

where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*

[makaeru]

I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".

[marzipanandminutiae]

this is exactly why I love talking about historical passive heating and cooling techniques

oh wow the glass-tower office buildings we constructed when we thought air conditioning and central heating would never have downsides...have downsides?

and we're still building them?

while the Victorian house museum where I work, with thick walls and small windows and big wooden shutters stays ~10 degrees above (winter) or below (summer) the outside temperature for days on end with no help at all?

uh. okay then

(also public transit. the history of public transit in the US is infuriating, because we had it! and then we destroyed it!)

[headspace-hotel]

THIS IS SO TRUE

[serizawa3000]

On the commentary track for the Criterion DVD/Blu-ray of The Princess Bride...

William Goldman (screenwriter, adapting his book) casually mentions that Terry Gilliam was briefly interested in directing.

I like the film as it is; OF COURSE I do. But now the ghost of a What Could Have Been for the ages is doing little somersaults and giggling as I try to ignore it (see also: George Lucas directing Apocalypse Now. Long story).

"Who's that then?"

"I dunno, must be Count Rugen."

"How can you tell?"

"He hasn't got shit all over him, and he has six fingers on his right hand."

[serizawa3000]