I was sick lately. I was sick both in my body and soul. I was being stubborn and aggresive in many ways. I hate the reality and dont want to accept new things which happens suddenly. I keep being curtly to some people who try to impose me down through act and word. I missed some classes because I wasn’t ready in papers for class. I try to take all things that I can do. I endure my own bill for life and it possibly me to have mindset like this : I CAN DO ALL THINGS ALONE BY MYSELF. I always try to hide away these feelings. What a distracted feelings I had these weeks.. Then, in my bedrest time for about 4 days 3 nights, was a hard time for me when I feel soooo lonely. I was afraid and being fractious. I cried alone in my sleep like I wanna giveup for life;for facing the reality. Above all, I feel far away from God. The day in my recovery period, I read a poem from teen life that attributed to St. Anthony of Padua. here I quote the sentences :
I am working even at this moment Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me And the life I prepared for you, You won’t be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love.And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me. And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I AM God. Believe it and be satisfied I feel so happy when read this poem. It really melts my heart. It reminds me that my sadness and frustation is only the way that I forgot my God, as my first love. I am nothing without God. I am only a child in God’s hands. It is a perfect love. Like a flower that bloom, my hope also getting bloom. Here I am. READY TO BLOOM! Cheers, Sesilianos :)